Fair warning, there might be some spoilers in this review. Might because I'm not really sure which are spoilers and which aren't so just tread carefulFair warning, there might be some spoilers in this review. Might because I'm not really sure which are spoilers and which aren't so just tread carefully if you haven't read the book yet.
*deep breath*
So Iced. God, Iced. This was not an easy book to read and now I'm struggling to write a review. I could just rate this and move on, but I just have these feels I wanna express before I can do that.
Let's dive into the biggest deal first, shall we? That way we can move on to why I gave this 4 stars despite the pedo vibes.
As most KMM fans know, this book has a 14-year-old heroine being "admired" by paranormal adult men. One of whom already talks about early wedding presents and the other's large exposed dick is mentioned in the situation where the girl is in her undies dying of hypothermia. Doesn't matter if nothing happened and the getting naked -- thus the exposed dick -- was to save the girl's life, going out of your way to mention said large dick rings some pedo bells, KMM. Real serious pedo bells.
Add the situation where the girl wakes up expecting to be alone and discovering one of these adult men, who's almost-immortal so he's prolly hundreds of years old, lying next to her all calm like you sleep next to unconscious minors all the time no big deal.
There are more of these small irritating tidbits scattered throughout the book where men, some of whom old enough to be Dani's fathers, make inappropriate comments about the 14-year-old. Like when Dani says the more she gets excited the more she vibrates and one of these douches says that's good info or something like that and I throw up in my mouth.
Fortunately Dani does not notice as she's, you know, 14 years old.
'Course I'd have gotten that innuendo when I was 14 since my class had the most concentration of raging hormones in the entire school, but that would've been fine coz we were all the same age. Some 30-year-old guy makes that comment about me when I was 14, I'd have sicced my cousins on him all Chronicle of a Death Foretold.
But Dani, while arguably more mature in some ways, is very innocent in most. And that's a great thing. It does not in any way make the skeevy vibes better, but at least the girl's completely unaware that such vibes actually exist.
And when we try to make like Dani and just focus on the other things going on in Dublin AWC, we actually have a lot of fun. The mystery of the hoarfrosted places and the awesomeness of liposucking roaches plus the wonderful, wonderful Hag who uses entrails as yarn all make up for any pedo bear vibes. Or the fact that I'm not sure yet if I even like any of these characters.
I mean as much fun as it was seeing post-apocalyptic Dublin in the eyes of Dani, it was also exhausting and irritating. She's a handful like a tantrum-y toddler is a handful and her decisions can be a bit TSTL. But she's also 14 and given the same circumstances, I'm not sure if I could have done a better job than she was doing. I'm not sure 15 years older if I could do a better job. She's abrasive and dramatic and a spot-on 14-year-old, and I hate teenagers, so maybe that's why I'm just starting to warm up to her. But I sure as hell like her more than I liked Mac so there's that.
Ryodan is Barrons v.2 or something. They're cut from the same cloth, they tickle the same places in me (I'm 29 so it's okay), and there's nothing new here but predictable Alpha male is fine as background for icy Dublin and that cross-stitching Hag.
Christian is a mess. Most of it is not his fault, but dude's a trainwreck. Go home, Christian. You're drunk. Or becoming a psycho Unseelie pedo bear. Either way, go the fuck home.
Dancer's awesome, though. While Ryodan slaps people with his balls to show how much of a hardass he is and Christian eats his, regrows them, and eats them again, Dancer just gets things done without having to showboat. Guy's got ninja balls.
As for Jo, I'm gonna be stubborn and continue liking Jo. Jo is brilliant but unappreciated because she's in the wrong book. She might have a bit of a martyr complex but kudos to the girl for finding ways to make a bad situation bearable. I'm not saying better because we all know Ryodan's gonna screw her over and KMM is prolly gonna make her do something awful just so we don't feel guilty about seeing Ryodan with Dani. Jo, if you can, try to jump books. You're gonna be the next Fiona.
So all in all a great read what with the old and new Unseelie monsters, Dani sometimes being bearable enough that she makes things fun, Dancer being Peeta Mellark, and that Hag. That wickedly awesome Hag.
This would have been five stars, but I just can't get over all the pedo vibes. One can argue that nothing really happens and it's mostly just these men caring for Dani and what happens to her, so why have all these hints and innuendos, then? Why not just eschew them entirely then bombard us with them when Dani's old enough?
*smh*
*but marks release date of Burned on calendar* ...more
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