Booze Quotes

“Booze takes a lot of time and effort if you're going to do a good job with it.”
― Raymond Carver, Where I'm Calling From: New and Selected Stories

“When he was dry, he believed it was alcohol he needed, but when he had a few drinks in him, he knew it was something else, possibly a woman; and when he had it all -- cash, booze, and a wife -- he couldn't be distracted from the great emptiness that was always falling through him and never hit the ground.”
― Denis Johnson

“...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.”
― Dave Matthes, Bar Nights

“I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.”
― Dave Matthes, Sleepeth Not, the Bastard

“Whatever you fear will happen to you, booze will make it happen.”
― Philip K. Dick, Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said

“The battle with the bottle is nothing so novel.”
― Elvis Costello

“There have been two great narcotics in European civilisation: Christianity and alcohol.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“I want to love you more than I love this' -he waves his bottle- 'and I don't know how else to do it unless there's something to lose.”
― Krista Ritchie, Addicted to You

“Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“To all the boys, for when you become men: you'll leave women all throughout your life because they're holding you back, and even after she's gone she'll still weigh you down. To all the women: stay away from us men. We don't know anything about you, despite what we try to convince you of.”
― Dave Matthes, Paradise City

“You know one day, you're going to look back on these days. And everyone you went to high school with will either be getting married to each other, shitting out kids, or dropping dead like flies," when she spoke, Miss Jenson sighed at the end of every few words; she must have been narrating her own thoughts she might have otherwise kept to herself, "and everything you never did, you'll never be able to even try.”
― Dave Matthes, Paradise City

“I didn't recognize it as such then, because I was only thirteen years old, but later I found it a bit ironic that my first time seeing a woman in all her form and glory and saggy drug-tainted tits, arrived at the same exact time as my first introduction to death.”
― Dave Matthes, Paradise City

“A fine young man and a fine young felly he always was, except that in the old days, before you began coming in here, Mr. Witherwax, he maybe had too much money and spent too much of it on girls. Take them alone, either one; the money without the women, or a good girl without the money that can be a help to a young felly, and he's fixed for life. But put them together; and often as not, the young felly goes on the booze. ("The Better Mousetrap")”
― Fletcher Pratt, Tales from Gavagan's Bar

“The Top Spin would raise a glass to Rudi Koertzen, the popular veteran South African umpire who will stand in his 107th and final Test when Pakistan meet Australia at Headingley in July [2010]. But we're slightly worried about being misunderstood. A few years back, in a light-hearted series of profiles of the elite umpires for a newspaper supplement, we suggested Rudi was a 'sociable' character who enjoyed spending a no-more-than-inordinate amount of time at the '19th hole'. Cue a concerned phonecall from the ICC, who wanted to register Rudi's displeasure at the implication. Whoops. Presumably it will be orange juices all round when he finally hangs up the white coat.”
― Lawrence Booth

“You wanna try booze, try it - you wanna try weed, try it – you wanna get laid, go get laid - just do it all and get it over with, so that you can pay attention to the real troubles of society.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Hometown Human: To Live for Soil and Society

“I can see why people drink booze, because boos are a little too dry to satisfy thirst. It would be like chugging a cactus, and while that has enough water for a duck to swim in, it's the kind of thing that's best served to politicians.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Walmart told me I couldn't buy beer on Sunday. They said it was Arkansas state law. So, I didn't pay for it and I walked out with a six pack. I'm glad they made booze FREE one day a week.”
― Jarod Kintz, Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.”
― Robert Benchley, My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

“I take a long pull on the jug. Like Scotch and wild roses, like man and woman the same, the perfect mix. I drink it down.”
― Otessa Moshfegh

“Dear god, it seems that I find it now easier to answer to the smell of booze and cheap women than good faith and common sense.”
― Hanna Abi Akl, A Road Away From Home

“You wanna try booze, try it - you wanna try weed, try it – you wanna get laid, go get laid - just do it all and get it over with, so that you can pay attention to the real troubles of society. How dare you waste your life on nonsense! You may say, it is your life, and you can do whatever you want with it. To that I say, it is not your life, it is human life, and a human life that doesn't come to the aid of the society is anything but human.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Hometown Human: To Live for Soil and Society

“Pintman Paddy Losty.
Some of Dublin's great pintmen have been known to put away thirty pints or more in a day”
― Kevin C. Kearns, Dublin Pub Life and Lore: An Oral History

“Alcohol is man's universal translator.”
― Anthony T. Hincks

“You wanna get drunk? Get drunk with an idea, not with alcohol. Get drunk with alcohol, you ruin your life. Get drunk with an idea, you enhance your life.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Vande Vasudhaivam: 100 Sonnets for Our Planetary Pueblo

“People drink to speed up life, get it over with as quickly as possible, almost as if we know there is another one coming.”
― Jack Freestone

“When you are really drinking you get annoyed at how many times you need to get up to refill your drink because the activity you have chosen while drinking has overcome the drinking itself”
― Jack Freestone

“It's a boozy night, and the regulars are practically dry-humping the bar.”
― Stacey Richter, MY DATE WITH SATAN: Stories

“Though my siblings agree that I can be a cunt when I am drunk, they seem to miss the point that they can be cunts when they are sober.”
― Jack Freestone

“A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.”
― Thomas Fuller

“Irish Whiskey. Not Jameson. Not Teeling. Sexton. Strong and toasty, honeyed fruit stinging his nose. Sweet sponge cake. Soft, so soft, sopping with booze, oozing into his throat. Coconut Cruzan. Flavored Dominican rum, the scent of an island breeze. Beeswax, from a birthday candle, crackling between his teeth.
He'd know that rum cake anywhere. Warm and heady, half-Irish, half-Dominican, with the promise of a good time. Just like the man himself.
In all the time they'd lived together, Frankie had never had a sweet tooth--- preferred heat and spice, salt to sugar--- but whenever he went home to his mama's, he'd come back with a Tupperware of this. It was what she made every birthday, every holiday, every time her baby visited. It was the stuff of Frankie's childhood memories, the magic of his sweetest moments baked into a bundt and soused with sweet booze--- a shot of Cruzan for his 'lita, his mama's mama; a shot of Sexton for his grandmam--- and served to him in increasingly large slices as he aged up and learned to hold his liquor.
Kostya could almost see him, coming through the door with the container swinging in a plastic bag, digging a spoon out of the drawer, leaning over the kitchen counter to shovel it into his mouth, no plate, no chair, just a look of ecstatic nostalgia on his face.
Y'all can have the foie and lobster, he once said, scooping crumbs into his mouth. This is my death row wish. Want a bite?”
― Daria Lavelle, Aftertaste