There were so many things I loved about this book—the messy but real relationship dynamics, the music threaded throughout the story, and the family woThere were so many things I loved about this book—the messy but real relationship dynamics, the music threaded throughout the story, and the family woven into each page.
April's character growth was so steeped in introspection and layered that I wanted to read through each page slowly. I first started this book via audio - which I highly recommend for this story! but it became intense to the point I needed the hard copy in my hands.
Adam remained my utmost favorite - I missed him so much when April left Iracus and wished we had more closure from him. ...more
This is the book Jinger could not write - a full expose on the Duggar family dealings, how the pafull video explaining a lot more of my thoughts:
This is the book Jinger could not write - a full expose on the Duggar family dealings, how the parents use the family machine and religion to control their children, and the hard, hard work of therapy and coming to know yourself that it takes to leave.
Now I say Counting the Cost is the book Jill - not Jinger - had to write. Because for a people pleaser, a favorite child, and the first to get married and to leave, Jill was the guinea pig for what it meant to be a Duggar Daughter.
As a former IBLP Daughter - I felt Jill's emotional, hard-wrought struggle. The day she wore pants for the first time, her father's ensuing meltdown, the tension of longing to please, yet desperate for freedom - that journey was achingly familiar.
The anxiety I felt the entire last third of this book - if you grew up with a controlling, manipulative parent - you too will understand. Because controlling parents are not just in fundamentalist cults. They exist across religious and cultural lines.
And rarely, rarely, does anyone have the courage to explore family estrangement. Jill outlines the cost of estrangement - the cost to not set your boundaries and the cost once you do.
Also 100% true to experience to spend 200 pages outlining extreme parental abuse to end with the small steps you’re taking to reconcile with said parent. Because completely cutting off a parent is next to impossible and the desire to one day please them is ever-present. Ugh, I see myself in Jill’s voice so much.
Bravo, Jill. Bravo to all the IBLP Daughters who have fought so long, and so hard, for our voice. The cost is beyond what anyone outside of IBLP could ever grasp. But the freedom - the joy - and the peace beyond IBLP is well worth every penny.
“He considers the possibility that maybe the opposite of hate is not love. It’s hope. Because hate takes years to build, but hoholy smokes what a read
“He considers the possibility that maybe the opposite of hate is not love. It’s hope. Because hate takes years to build, but hope can come sliding around the corner when you’re not even looking.”
this is not a gentle story. It will not let you feel good about much of anything. It's a sharp portrait of a city in crisis, of desegregation and the rusty underbelly of the Civil Rights movement. Note the story is set in Boston - not the typical place for a story focused on White violence. And yet, this chapter of class tension, of racist rioting and reckoning needs to be told.
And while the horror unfolds on the page - there are moments that give you small hopes - or small mercies as the author might describe. The undercurrent of hope in the terror is what makes this book unforgettable.
major content warning for thickly applied racist language - the n-word is used often on page, unfiltered, alongside other racist epitaphs. Deeply uncomfortable and at times a bit shocking...more
one of the best books I read in 2023, every time i see the cover my heart twists with a bittersweet wish that I could read it again for the very firstone of the best books I read in 2023, every time i see the cover my heart twists with a bittersweet wish that I could read it again for the very first time...more
this genuinely might be the most painful book I've read all year - hit me so hard, it knocked the breath right out of methis genuinely might be the most painful book I've read all year - hit me so hard, it knocked the breath right out of me...more
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