Moving novel about a group of young, predominantly Black teenager mothers living in the small town of Padua Beach, Florida. I will say that for the 25Moving novel about a group of young, predominantly Black teenager mothers living in the small town of Padua Beach, Florida. I will say that for the 250 pages or so of this book I felt a bit bored by Mottley’s prose. I knew from the start the story was important but the pieces didn’t all come together for me until the last 150 pages or so, which really blew me away.
I loved the theme of female friendship and empowerment in The Girls Who Grew Big. Mottley does an excellent job of portraying the complexity of friendship; you don’t just spend time with these people, you actually have to treat them well, and even then there are relational complexities to unpack. It was heartwarming to read how the girls supported one another when so many people, ranging from their parents to male partners, let them down.
I also appreciated how each of the characters developed throughout the course of the novel. For example, Mottley did a great job of making Adela so annoying, though also tenderly highlighting her honest and messy path in growing as a person. Adela, Simone, and Emory all had distinct voices and by the end of the book I felt attached to all three of them and was wishing them the best. Overall, a character-driven novel that subtly tackles the stereotypes and prejudices thrown at teen mothers. I think Mottley is still honing her craft as a writer though in the last 150 pages or so there were some passages that blew me away....more
I found the first half of this book a bit slow, though I’m rounding up to four stars because the second half had me speedily flipping the pages. For sI found the first half of this book a bit slow, though I’m rounding up to four stars because the second half had me speedily flipping the pages. For some reason I expected this to be more of a literary fiction read about class, however, it was more of a feminist thriller. I liked how Elyse Friedman subverted the sexist trope of the “gold-digger” and highlighted how men with money get away with a lot of wrongdoing. Even though I don’t think this novel was the most complex or nuanced, I’m also giving it four stars because I genuinely did not see the major plot twist coming – props to Friedman for surprising me and I’m sure many others. If you’re into thrillers, twisted family dynamics, and smart commentaries on gender, you may want to give this one a try....more
Deeply appreciated this book about adoption and how it often disenfranchises birth mothers. Gretchen Sisson does an excellent job of highligh4.5 stars
Deeply appreciated this book about adoption and how it often disenfranchises birth mothers. Gretchen Sisson does an excellent job of highlighting birth mothers’ painful, negative emotions about relinquishing their children, and she writes clearly and intelligently about the sociopolitical factors that contribute to adoption (e.g., financial disparities between birth mothers and adoptive parents, the conservative and religious forces promoting a private solution to a public problem, etc.) What I loved most about this book was the in-depth stories directly told by birth mothers themselves. So often these people’s perspectives are silenced or erased and it was powerful to read about their traumas, resilience, and insights related to relinquishing their children.
As Sisson names toward the end of this book, reading this may stir up negative feelings (e.g., defensiveness) from people who have positive feelings about adoption. I hope that readers who feel this way can honor both their potentially positive experiences with the lived realities and difficulties of the birth mothers who courageously shared their stories in Relinquished....more
Solid to-the-point overview of abortion two years since the fall of Roe V. Wade. As she’s done in her previous books, Jessica Valenti does a great jobSolid to-the-point overview of abortion two years since the fall of Roe V. Wade. As she’s done in her previous books, Jessica Valenti does a great job of dispelling common conservative, anti-choice talking points about abortion. She highlights how abortion bans harm and exert control over women and all people who give birth, as well as how conservative media/lawmakers/etc. have been trying to change up their language to get around how abortion restrictions really are. She acknowledges intersectionality and references real women’s stories to back up her points.
I don’t think this book will contain too much new information for those who already educate themselves on abortion issues. However, it’s a nice refresher and communicates the urgency of fighting for abortion well....more
One of the most enjoyable books I’ve read in a while! I took great pleasure in reading this memoir about a woman satisfying herself during he4.5 stars
One of the most enjoyable books I’ve read in a while! I took great pleasure in reading this memoir about a woman satisfying herself during her trip in Paris. Glynnis MacNicol writes with precision and feeling about being a childfree, non-married single woman in her mid-40’s defying society’s expectations that all women’s lives and stories end with marriage and/or kids. As someone who’s more femme and childfree by choice and romantically single, I found myself nodding along and sighing in “yes, she gets it” throughout this memoir. I loved her writing about her friendships, her considerations of her finances, and her decision to chart her own course.
I believe this book is also relevant given Vice President JD Vance’s comments about romantically single, childfree women being “childless cat ladies” and his statements that parents should get more votes than nonparents. I turn 30 in two months and definitely feel the amatonormative and heteronormative pressure to get married and have kids. MacNicol’s memoir in which she literally centers her pursuit of pleasure defies patriarchal notions that women’s purpose is solely to serve or care for other people. She’s also generally self-aware about her privilege and positionality. Sure, there were a few passages that could have been more concise or removed and an instance of an interaction with a younger woman that could have been probed more thoroughly, but, as a whole I found her writing mindful and astute.
I’m not a travel memoir fan but liked this book nonetheless for its thesis on pursuing pleasure and defying society’s expectations. I may be interested in reading a memoir every decade by MacNicol as I also enjoyed her memoir No One Tells You This which I read back in 2018....more
I overall enjoyed this graphic memoir a lot. Really appreciated Siobhan Gallagher’s honesty about her issues with self-esteem, body image, self-harm, I overall enjoyed this graphic memoir a lot. Really appreciated Siobhan Gallagher’s honesty about her issues with self-esteem, body image, self-harm, and more throughout her life. Her drawings were engaging and aesthetically appealing to the eye so I didn’t feel like I was “working” to get through Full of Myself. Though the contents were sometimes sad, her colorful illustrations and sense of humor were refreshing and real. Loved her analysis of the media and her candor about the many instances she faced of men objectifying her in gross and sexist ways.
I liked Gallagher’s veracity about the messiness of her life through many stages and that she also wrote about her healing process. Several of her steps toward healing resonated with my experience of recovering from disordered eating, like reading and deeply internalizing feminist writing about body image (thank you Appetites by Caronline Knapp!!), engaging in intuitive and mindful eating, and doing exercise that feels pleasurable and isn’t focused on weight loss (I haven’t weighed myself in years). I understand there are limitations to Gallagher’s narrative given her many privileges as a white, mid-sized, college-educated, cisgender woman, though I felt that she acknowledged these constraints and wrote from her a heartfelt place within them....more
Overall enjoyed this essay collection and thought Morgan Parker did a nice job of intertwining the personal with the sociopolitical. Topics r3.5 stars
Overall enjoyed this essay collection and thought Morgan Parker did a nice job of intertwining the personal with the sociopolitical. Topics range from Black representation in media to romantic loneliness as a Black woman in her 30s to people who defend Bill Cosby. I found Parker’s writing astute and perceptive and I appreciated the honest, non-cliched way she emphasized therapy and mental health in this collection. There were times where I wished she went a bit deeper or got more specific, like when she referenced her “uncomfortably abundant number of white friends” or when she wrote about romantic loneliness without interrogating amatonormativity or romantic monogamy culture in general. Still, a thoughtful essay collection from a writer confronting misogynoir and imagining a more just world than the one we live in now....more
I really liked this book and so appreciate Lyz Lenz for writing honestly about her divorce and not putting up with men’s bs! I thought she did an overI really liked this book and so appreciate Lyz Lenz for writing honestly about her divorce and not putting up with men’s bs! I thought she did an overall effective job of integrating memoir (e.g., story of her own marriage and divorce) with social commentary and reporting related to heterosexual marriage and divorce more broadly. At the age of 29 I’m getting so inundated with social media posts about weddings, which I don’t care too much about because I don’t want to get married/disavow the whole wedding industrial complex, though it does strike me as ironic/problematic that people don’t nearly talk as often about divorces as much as weddings. Lenz blazes through any divorce stigma in this book and writes with candor about divorce’s benefits, despite the annoying parts of the divorce process, especially for women who aren’t getting what they want/need from marriage.
A few things that stood out to me in a positive way when I read this book: loved how Lenz takes a firm stand on the patriarchal nature of women taking men’s last names in marriage. So important to critique choice feminism. This section of the book reminded me of one of my favorite academic mentors and how her children (or at least one of them) took her last name instead of her husband’s last name. Iconic! I also liked how Lenz wrote about how men who identify as “liberal” or as “feminists” can still treat women horribly; I’ve noticed this within the gay male community too about men who identify with social justice causes yet are racist or femmephobic or perpetuate other forms of oppression. It’s easy to self-identify as someone who is in favor of equity or social progress, though you have to actually look at someone’s behavior, not just what they say. Finally, I’m glad she ended the book on the note of chosen community and prioritizing friendships and relationships outside of the heteronormative nuclear mold.
Reading this book was interesting because it paired kinda nicely with Splinters by Leslie Jamison which I read earlier this year, though the books are very different. I felt Jamison’s book emphasized the emotional grooves of her divorce but lacked more direct and necessary political commentary, whereas Lenz’s book does a way better job of discussing the sociopolitical underpinnings of marriage and divorce. I don’t think this book is perfect – some of its organization and structure felt a bit choppy and the writing didn’t always wow me. However, I definitely enjoyed it enough to give it four stars and hope it helps continue the conversation about finding happiness outside of romantic relationships with men....more
I liked and agreed with a lot of the feminist messages in this book: that male serial killers are often glorified and glamorized with little attentionI liked and agreed with a lot of the feminist messages in this book: that male serial killers are often glorified and glamorized with little attention paid toward female victims and survivors, that women are labeled as hysterical and overdramatic for their emotions, and that many men are complicit in rape culture even if they have not perpetrated a rape themselves. On a thematic level, I thus appreciated Bright Young Women for putting the women in these scenarios in the center of attention.
That said I found the writing on the sentence level quite monotonous and predictable, even though the topic itself is important. The book was thus a bit of a drag for me to get through. At the same time, I totally recognize and agree with what Jessica Knoll was trying to accomplish message-wise here....more
A novel that takes place in 1950s Bombay about twin sisters Jaya and Kamlesh, this book explores intriguing themes related to gendered oppression, BriA novel that takes place in 1950s Bombay about twin sisters Jaya and Kamlesh, this book explores intriguing themes related to gendered oppression, British colonialism, and pursuing art as a career and lifestyle. Those who enjoys stories about sisters coming of age may especially like Inside the Mirror. I found the writing style a bit dry and the tone one-note which made it hard for me to feel invested in the story, though I can see why others appreciate this book....more
I liked this book and feel that this debut author has potential. This short story collection Peacocks of Instagram follows several diasporic Indian woI liked this book and feel that this debut author has potential. This short story collection Peacocks of Instagram follows several diasporic Indian women as they navigate family, romantic relationships, and struggles in the workplace. Deepa Rajagopalan does a nice job of portraying these women as three-dimensional characters who have unique personalities and agency even as they navigate sexism in their day-to-day lives. My favorite stories were “Driving Lessons” and “Rahel,” where I felt that Rajagopalan captured a specific and poignant emotional landscape within the context of growing up and navigating leaving home.
It’s really hard to enthrall me with a short story so several of these stories communicated an important political message or an interesting idea about relationships, though didn’t leave an emotional impact. I think it’s rare for me to feel immersed in a short story so that’s perhaps more on the form than the writer’s ability. I was moved by a few of the stories, especially the couple I listed above, so I would be interested in reading this author’s debut novel when it comes out....more
Great essay collection by a writer ahead of her time. Appreciated June Jordan’s courage in sharing both her forward political thinking (e.g., her pro-Great essay collection by a writer ahead of her time. Appreciated June Jordan’s courage in sharing both her forward political thinking (e.g., her pro-Palestine and anti-Zionist beliefs, her ideals for Black women’s liberation while also critiquing representation politics) and her personal experiences related to matters such as breast cancer and sexual assault. While some of her takes may not come across as new to those who read a lot of Black feminist texts, there’s a conviction, full-spiritedness, and progressive politic in Jordan’s writing that is still admirable and enjoyable....more
Yay friendship! Love that there is more attention being paid to friendship. I thought Lilly Dancyger touched on a nice array of coming-of-age and seriYay friendship! Love that there is more attention being paid to friendship. I thought Lilly Dancyger touched on a nice array of coming-of-age and serious topics in this collection, including losing a friend to suicide, friendships you maintain and friendships that fade, and the decision to have kids or not. I appreciated her realness about her feelings about her mother, too.
I have mixed feelings about this book because while I agree with the author on a lot of what she talks about and sense that we are very compa3.5 stars
I have mixed feelings about this book because while I agree with the author on a lot of what she talks about and sense that we are very compatible politically, the writing in Thin Skin felt heavy and dry to me. I liked that Jenn Shapland wrote about how environmental degradation affects our health, the pressures of capitalism and work and what it means to live a meaningful life, and the notion of being sensitive and having thin skin. I really resonated with her last essay about not wanting kids and the anger and sadness that comes with living in a world that glorifies having children for women and femmes – loved how she ended that essay on a note of community and friendship.
Unfortunately, though, for the most part I did find these essays a bit laborious to comb through. Sometimes they felt a bit too abstract and not grounded enough in scene. Again, Shapland is smart and I think she’d be a cool person to hang out with, but the writing itself in this essay collection didn’t wow me....more
I appreciated how real Erin Pepler is about motherhood in this essay collection. I imagine mothers (and parents of all genders) will take co3.5 stars
I appreciated how real Erin Pepler is about motherhood in this essay collection. I imagine mothers (and parents of all genders) will take comfort in this collection – she writes both about loving her children and the tiring, frustrating, difficult parts of parenthood. Her writing is clear-sighted and digestible.
I give this book 3.5 stars because I feel like it does push parenthood as the way to live… which, as a childfree by choice person, made for an interesting read. It’s not like Pepler outright says “being a parent is the only way to live a fulfilling life” or anything that extreme, though there were at least a few statements that implied that being a parent makes you more empathetic, that parenthood is the most important life experience, etc. I also thought that she did a nice job naming her privilege as a white woman and unequal gender dynamics in parenting, but her solutions still fell very much within a traditional heteronormative parenting context (e.g., upholding the two-parent household instead of considering more expansive community-based ways to parent).
Anyway, as I said I can see why this book is a hit for many parents. Went back and forth between three and four stars but rounding to four because I can see Pepler’s care and intention in this collection....more
Oh wow, I loved this book. My Last Innocent Year takes place in the winter of 1998 and follows Isabel Rosen, a senior at the prestigious, wea4.5 stars
Oh wow, I loved this book. My Last Innocent Year takes place in the winter of 1998 and follows Isabel Rosen, a senior at the prestigious, wealthy, and elite Wilder College located in New Hampshire. Isabel comes from a working-class Jewish family that owns a Lower East Side appetizing store. Her senior year starts out tumultuously when Isabel is sexually assaulted by Zev, one of the only other Jewish students on campus. The emotional upheaval in Isabel’s life escalates when she meets R.H. Connelly, a once-famous poet and non-tenure-track professor who’s teaching Isabel’s competitive writing seminar this semester. Their affair sets the shaky foundation for a series of events that transcends Isabel’s individual life and speaks to the broader landscape of gender and power of that era – and I’d venture to say, our current era as well.
I first want to applaud the writing in this book. Daisy Alpert Florin’s prose was so, so good, and so readable. I feel like she captured the atmosphere of a wealthy liberal arts college so well, as well as that period in your early 20’s where everything feels so intense and important. I found myself immersed in Isabel’s perspective in a way I haven’t felt since I read Ghosts by Dolly Alderton in February (though the two books are very different.) I was enraptured; I stayed up last night finishing the book and only got three hours of quality sleep, though it was worth it (the sleep thing may have also had to do with me drinking a Sprite right before going to bed but, whatever.) The scenes, the dialogue, Isabel’s internal reflection and the retrospective narration – I loved it.
I also appreciated the subtle yet prominent commentary about men’s mistreatment of women and the (white) feminism of the late 90’s. I thought Florin captured Isabel’s initial reactions and timidity around men so well, even when we as readers may be screaming and sighing in disdain as we witness what unfolds. Thanks to Florin’s high quality prose, the messages didn’t come across in a heavy-handed or distracting way. I also liked how Florin captured the shades of grey in certain relationships and situations, though of course not in a way that condones sexual assault or patriarchal violence. There were some elements related to female friendship that I liked and wished could have been more developed, but I didn’t feel annoyed about this enough to rate this book lower.
Finally, I loved Isabel’s growth arc. I appreciated the subtleness of it, how we see her develop some confidence though not in a particularly easy or linear fashion. This style of characterization felt keenly realistic to me, like how many of us learn about ourselves little by little as life unfolds, in a journey that doesn’t stop.
I’m rounding this one up to five stars because it’s one of the best books I’ve read this year. I also liked the very implicit, maybe-not-even-there-but-I-read-it-as critique of Zionism/those who support it. Ugh, I want more people to read this book so I can discuss it with folks, especially Isabel’s relationship with Connelly which was wild (also he turned out to be such a… well… I’ll let you read it and draw your own conclusion.) I’m hoping for more books of this quality in 2024!...more
Pleasantly surprised by how much I ended up liking this book! When We Were Friends follows Fern, who was best friends with Jessica when they were in hPleasantly surprised by how much I ended up liking this book! When We Were Friends follows Fern, who was best friends with Jessica when they were in high school. They shared their deepest and darkest secrets with one another, slept over at each other’s places and had fun silly times together, and talked about school and boys and their parents. But Jessica did something that betrayed Fern’s trust so Fern cut her off. Ten years later, Fern works as a writer and an aspiring mental health counselor, when Jessica reemerges out of the blue. They start to rekindle their friendship, but can Fern trust Jessica after what happened in their shared past?
I will start with some of what I didn’t like about the book before moving onto the positives. I found the writing style kind of clunky, especially the first 50% or so of the book – the characters’ jokes felt a bit forced, some dialogue came across as awkward, and I couldn’t really fully immerse myself in Holly Bourne’s prose. I was definitely leaning toward three stars for a large portion of my reading experience.
But, around the 65% mark, something about this book really clicked for me. Part of it I think was the suspense of whether Fern and Jessica would be able to actually form a friendship again. I also felt like Bourne’s writing came across as more authentic in the latter half of the book. Finally, several of the book’s themes came together toward the end. Throughout the novel Fern is obsessed with the male gaze and what men think of her, and there’s also an emphasis throughout the novel of the casual violence and degrading ways boys and men treat women. While the delivery of those ideas didn’t feel 100% skilled in the first half of the book, Bourne really did make the feminist commentary about sexual violence and female friendship come through by the end of the novel. I was impressed by how she wrote about Fern and Jessica’s friendship and the ways they were both able to mature and grow.
Overall, if the story sounds interesting to you I’d recommend. I think there could have been a bit more unpacking of the male gaze theme (something that is unfortunately super prevalent in the gay male scene too), though I respect and appreciate Bourne’s overall commitment to her feminist message in this novel. Other friendship-focused novels I’ve liked included When You Were Everything by Ashley Woodfolk and We Used to be Friends by Amy Spalding!...more
A powerful, somewhat uneven memoir with some sections that absolutely gutted me. In They Called Us Exceptional, Prachi Gupta writes about growing up iA powerful, somewhat uneven memoir with some sections that absolutely gutted me. In They Called Us Exceptional, Prachi Gupta writes about growing up in an Indian American family that some would describe as the American ideal: a doctor father, a nurturing mother, and two high-achieving children. Underneath this veneer though lies a family simmering with conflict and painful unaddressed wounds. Gupta details her journey of breaking free from the cycles of violence plaguing her family and dissects the cost of “achieving” what may appear as the American success story.
I found the first 100 pages or so of this book okay, somewhere between three and four stars. Gupta does a nice job of detailing her childhood and naming some sociocultural complexities: her father’s patriarchal violence, the racism that everyone including in her family including her father experienced, and her desire to figure out what she wants for herself. Gupta’s tone felt a bit formal for me in this first half or so of the memoir and even throughout the book. I can see why she chose to write in the second person but I felt that that created some emotional distance or dilution in the prose.
However, something happens around the 125-page mark and onward that wrecked me. I won’t spoil it so all I’ll say is that Gupta’s writing about her relationship with her brother *gutted* me. I read this book on a plane and I was holding back tears in several parts of the second half of the book. I think Gupta wrote a successful essay about her brother that got some attention which then led to this book, and I can see why that essay was successful. Gupta’s writing about her brother felt both sophisticated and deeply emotionally resonant. Honoring the complexities of how Asian American men and Indian American men in this case are dehumanized and made to feel inferior in the United States. While at the same time writing honestly about her brother’s faults and shortcomings, the pain and power of setting boundaries with him, and the deep love between the two of them born out of shared experience and tenderness. Her writing about him and their relationship and her feelings about him floored me. I’m typing this review in the Atlanta airport listening to “Ghost in the Machine” by SZA and staring into space, a heartbroken mess!
Despite how some of the writing, especially the use of the second person, felt dry, Gupta accomplishes a lot in this memoir: breaking down the model minority myth, detailing her journey to know more about her own culture and come into her unique feminist voice, sharing a bit about her therapy process and destigmatizing mental illness. Her father’s abusive behavior reminded me my mother’s and I appreciated her sharing about how this abuse (and the abuser’s potential mental illness) is often conflated with stereotypes about harsh immigrant parents. Still, though, her writing about her brother, wow. My heart aches just thinking about it (and if you saw a gaysian crying in the Atlanta airport holding a copy of this book and crying, it was me!)....more
This book felt quite chaotic to me. There were some interesting commentaries about internet culture and parasocial relationships via social media. I vThis book felt quite chaotic to me. There were some interesting commentaries about internet culture and parasocial relationships via social media. I vibed a bit with the main character’s obsessive personality and tendencies. But the writing and characterization felt a little too vague and abstract for me to fully connect – I think grounding the scenes and the characters with more solid detail would have helped my reading experience.
I appreciated our protagonist’s occasional jabs and critiques of white supremacy as it manifests in social media culture (e.g., white influencers appropriating art by people of color or tokenizing people of color’s struggles). I wanted a little more growth and self-reflection about the social media obsession overall, though. At least the book flew by fast....more
Powerful memoir about Safiya Sinclair’s experience growing up in a strict Rastafarian household in Jamaica and the abuse inflicted upon her a3.5 stars
Powerful memoir about Safiya Sinclair’s experience growing up in a strict Rastafarian household in Jamaica and the abuse inflicted upon her and her family by her father. I appreciated the boldness and honesty in which Sinclair described her father’s cruelty and how it affected her feelings and perspective on the world. I liked the vividness of her prose as well as her journey to escape her father’s influence and find her own voice through writing and education.
There were a couple of reasons I didn’t love this memoir as much as many others on here. First, I found some of her writing a bit repetitive, especially in the first half of the book. I also found the ending a bit abrupt and was curious to read more about her processing of her trauma and her relationship with her father. Still, I can see why this book has captured people’s attention....more
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