Michael Clocksin > Michael's Quotes

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#1

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor

150121 likes

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#2

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

tags: action, change, inspirational, misattributed-to-gandhi, philosophy, wish

113968 likes

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#3

“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

tags: charles-bayard-mitchell

101422 likes

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#4

“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols

tags: inspirational, music, philosophy

74006 likes

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#5

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

tags: darkness, drive-out, hate, inspirational, light, love, peace

78046 likes

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#6

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation

71503 likes

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#7

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious, simile

35255 likes

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#8

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
― George Carlin

tags: fighting, humor, misattributed-george-carlin, peace, sex

4250 likes

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#9

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
― George Carlin

2460 likes

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#10

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
― George Carlin

1943 likes

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#11

“I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”
― George Carlin

tags: dissent, freedom-of-thought, humor, patriotism

1431 likes

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#12

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”
― George Carlin

tags: books, bookstores, self-help

1391 likes

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#13

“I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.”
― George Carlin

tags: organized-religion, religion

719 likes

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#14

“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?”
― George Carlin

tags: medicine

690 likes

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#15

“If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?”
― George Carlin

tags: multiple-personalities

520 likes

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#16

“Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”
― George Carlin

403 likes

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#17

“Don’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach them to question everything.”
― George Carlin

tags: children-s-books, children-s-literature

377 likes

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#18

“Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
― George Carlin

303 likes

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#19

“Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?”
― George Carlin

214 likes

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#20

“I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ”
― George Carlin

tags: humor

213 likes

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#21

“What if there were no hypothetical questions?”
― George Carlin

194 likes

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#22

“If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”
― George Carlin

141 likes

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#23

“It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

tags: humor

64 likes

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#24

“I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

tags: humor

44 likes

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#25

“Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.”
― George Carlin

32 likes

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#26

“Most of these quotations on 카지노싸이트 are shit I never said. That's because idiots submit them, and 카지노싸이트 never checks their authenticity.”
― George Carlin, FM & AM

tags: authenticity, george-carlin, george-carlin-quotes, humor, lying, quotations

8 likes

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#27

“Rights aren't really rights if someone can take them away.”
― George Carlin

2 likes

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#28

“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: music, philosophy, progress

5488 likes

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#29

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: be-yourself, life, self-determination

3297 likes

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#30

“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: education, sex

2690 likes

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