Melanie's bookshelf: read-in-2023 en-US Thu, 10 Apr 2025 13:58:48 -0700 60 Melanie's bookshelf: read-in-2023 144 41 /images/layout/goodreads_logo_144.jpg The Sunlit Man 60531420
Running. Putting distance between himself and the relentless Night Brigade has been Nomad’s strategy for years. Staying one or two steps ahead of his pursuers by skipping through the Cosmere from one world to the next.

But now, his powers too depleted to escape, Nomad finds himself trapped on Canticle, a planet that will kill anyone who doesn’t keep moving. Fleeing the fires of a sunrise that melts the very stones, he is instantly caught up in the struggle between a heartless tyrant and the brave rebels who defy him.

Failure means a quick death, incinerated by the sun… or a lifetime as a mindless slave. Tormented by the consequences of his past, Nomad must fight not only for his survival―but also for his very soul.

Adapted from the novel and produced with a full cast of actors, immersive sound effects and cinematic music!

Performed by Nick J. Russo, Torian Brackett, Wyn Delano, Taylor Coan, Elena Anderson, Stephanie Németh-Parker, Daniel Llaca, David Cui Cui, Yasmin Tuazon, Nanette Savard, Alexander Amado, Natalie Van Sistine, Chris Davenport, Christopher Walker, Shanta Parasuraman, Scott McCormick, Gabriel Michael, Eva Wilhelm, Colleen Delany, Kenneth Charles, Laura C. Harris, Bradley Foster Smith, Crystal Lee, and Richard Rohan.]]>
447 Brandon Sanderson 1938570391 Melanie 4

i highly recommend not reading this book (or review) until you are up to date with the stormlight archives. in fact, this story takes place a very long time after stormlight 5 (which as of me typing up this review, has not been released), and the main character is a beloved side character who has been there since the start of the series. but because of these two things, this reading experience really leaves you wondering how that next stormlight book is going to go. (why am i emotional just thinking about it and typing this? lol)

this next paragraph is also going to be a spoilery synopsis explanation, so please use caution - but basically the tl;rd is that the mc of this book, now called nomad, has been given the dawnshard by someone we all know and love, and by doing so he cannot hurt living people, and the night brigade is constantly after him, and why he is constantly running throughout the cosmere. At the start of this book, he lands on a planet and finds himself not only physically stuck, but also emotionally stuck by rebels who are trying to beat a tyrant enslaving them. oh, and the threat of the sun coming to burn them all alive.

but we learn even more about sprens, and bonding to them, and maybe being able to bond again after an oath is broken. And we learn more about investiture and the use of breath equivalent units as a measurement, which was wild and very cool! But we get to see a man be shaped by the events, both bad and good, to make him who he is in the present moment. yet also reminding us, that we always have the power to change who we are are, burn away what we don't want to hold, and decide what we wish to fight for.

i know this whole review has spoilers but this one is just too big to post out in the open: [spoilers removed]

this book was very expertly crafted, and will truly mean a lot to all cosmere fans. the acknowledgement was also very beautiful, and was able to bring a tear to my easily-cryable eyes. i truly know stormlight 5 is going to be a heartbreaking masterpiece even more now, and because of this book - i am truly counting the days. but now… let me go cry some more that we are no longer receiving secret projects every three months.

trigger + content warnings: gore, physical abuse, violence, talk of loss of a loved one, loss of a parent in past, human sacrifice, slavery, death, explosions, self harm for magic, mention of vomit, blood

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Tress of the Emerald Sea ★★★★★
The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England ★★
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter ★★★★★]]>
4.27 2023 The Sunlit Man
author: Brandon Sanderson
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.27
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/10/21
date added: 2025/04/10
shelves: read-in-2023, fantasy, magic, adult
review:


i highly recommend not reading this book (or review) until you are up to date with the stormlight archives. in fact, this story takes place a very long time after stormlight 5 (which as of me typing up this review, has not been released), and the main character is a beloved side character who has been there since the start of the series. but because of these two things, this reading experience really leaves you wondering how that next stormlight book is going to go. (why am i emotional just thinking about it and typing this? lol)

this next paragraph is also going to be a spoilery synopsis explanation, so please use caution - but basically the tl;rd is that the mc of this book, now called nomad, has been given the dawnshard by someone we all know and love, and by doing so he cannot hurt living people, and the night brigade is constantly after him, and why he is constantly running throughout the cosmere. At the start of this book, he lands on a planet and finds himself not only physically stuck, but also emotionally stuck by rebels who are trying to beat a tyrant enslaving them. oh, and the threat of the sun coming to burn them all alive.

but we learn even more about sprens, and bonding to them, and maybe being able to bond again after an oath is broken. And we learn more about investiture and the use of breath equivalent units as a measurement, which was wild and very cool! But we get to see a man be shaped by the events, both bad and good, to make him who he is in the present moment. yet also reminding us, that we always have the power to change who we are are, burn away what we don't want to hold, and decide what we wish to fight for.

i know this whole review has spoilers but this one is just too big to post out in the open: [spoilers removed]

this book was very expertly crafted, and will truly mean a lot to all cosmere fans. the acknowledgement was also very beautiful, and was able to bring a tear to my easily-cryable eyes. i truly know stormlight 5 is going to be a heartbreaking masterpiece even more now, and because of this book - i am truly counting the days. but now… let me go cry some more that we are no longer receiving secret projects every three months.

trigger + content warnings: gore, physical abuse, violence, talk of loss of a loved one, loss of a parent in past, human sacrifice, slavery, death, explosions, self harm for magic, mention of vomit, blood

| | | | |

Tress of the Emerald Sea ★★★★★
The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England ★★
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter ★★★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[The Will of the Many (Hierarchy, #1)]]> 58416952 At the elite Catenan Academy, a young fugitive uncovers layered mysteries and world-changing secrets in this new fantasy series by internationally bestselling author of The Licanius Trilogy, James Islington.

AUDI. VIDE. TACE.

The Catenan Republic – the Hierarchy – may rule the world now, but they do not know everything.

I tell them my name is Vis Telimus. I tell them I was orphaned after a tragic accident three years ago, and that good fortune alone has led to my acceptance into their most prestigious school. I tell them that once I graduate, I will gladly join the rest of civilised society in allowing my strength, my drive and my focus – what they call Will – to be leeched away and added to the power of those above me, as millions already do. As all must eventually do.

I tell them that I belong, and they believe me.

But the truth is that I have been sent to the Academy to find answers. To solve a murder. To search for an ancient weapon. To uncover secrets that may tear the Republic apart.

And that I will never, ever cede my Will to the empire that executed my family.

To survive, though, I will still have to rise through the Academy’s ranks. I will have to smile, and make friends, and pretend to be one of them and win. Because if I cannot, then those who want to control me, who know my real name, will no longer have any use for me.

And if the Hierarchy finds out who I truly am, they will kill me.]]>
639 James Islington 1982141190 Melanie 5 the name of the wind is still my favorite book of all time, and the will of the many was the closest book i’ve ever read to capturing the feeling of that book. and i am not saying this because there is a magical school setting in part two of this book, i am saying this because the main character, vis, reminds me so much of kvothe, the main character of the name of the wind, that it casted a magic spell on me while reading. i am also such a character driven reader, and to give me the feeling of one of my favorite characters in all literature? yeah, i fell in love with this one easily, friends. (and yes @ everyone also comparing this setting, world building/caste system, and even a trial/competition feeling like red rising!) but i don't want you all to think i only like this because it reminded me of my favorite book, because i promise you this book and story and main character completely stand on their own and deserve to be celebrated all on their own as well!

also, the prologue of this one will grip you all on its own, i promise. but after the prologue, we see vis, seventeen years old and still orphaned, working in a prison where people are being drugged and their will (or magic) is being siphoned to other people higher in society (or pyramids). But vis catches the eye of one of the visitors, and he finally receives his opportunity to train to go undercover to catena academy and get revenge for the murder of his family.

but this synopsis is really only the tip of the iceberg pyramid of this story. this is also a story about love and how that can take so many different shapes and forms. this is a story about friendship and the beauty of learning to trust after the world has given you so many reasons not to ever again. this is a story about honoring your past while also embracing the hope of what your future might look like.

this was paced so very well - the lead up was everything, but the ending was out of this world phenomenal. this was written so beautifully, from quotes to metaphors, to just being a book that i feel like i could highlight something on every page. this was also so smartly written, and always walked a really tight balance line of dark and light. and the magic system is so complex yet also simple at the same time, and it really impressed me all on its own. this book was truly an accumulation of so many amazing ideas and executed concepts that i was completely immersed from cover to cover.

and the book truly evoked so many feelings (and tears… one time even involving a lobster) from me, and it really instantly became a new all time favorite. and in 600 pages, vis really stole my heart and became a new all time favorite character. this really was one of the bright shining lights of all of sff in 2023, and very much a part of my reading year, and i highly recommend this story to you. and I absolutely cannot wait to see where this author takes this story next.

trigger + content warnings: blood, captivity, torture, child abuse, abandonment, violence, slavery, bullying, explosions, needles, mention of suicides in past, drugging, vomit (one time self induced), medical testing without consent, anxiety, ptsd, grief, drowning, claustrophobic setting, manipulation, one sentence mention of homophobia (in a negative light), loss of a limb, loss of a friend/loved one, loss of parents and siblings in past, ableist + dated language for people who have disabilities

| | | | | ]]>
4.60 2023 The Will of the Many (Hierarchy, #1)
author: James Islington
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.60
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/12/24
date added: 2025/04/09
shelves: adult, fantasy, read-in-2023, academia
review:
let me preface this entire mini review with this: even in the year 2023, the name of the wind is still my favorite book of all time, and the will of the many was the closest book i’ve ever read to capturing the feeling of that book. and i am not saying this because there is a magical school setting in part two of this book, i am saying this because the main character, vis, reminds me so much of kvothe, the main character of the name of the wind, that it casted a magic spell on me while reading. i am also such a character driven reader, and to give me the feeling of one of my favorite characters in all literature? yeah, i fell in love with this one easily, friends. (and yes @ everyone also comparing this setting, world building/caste system, and even a trial/competition feeling like red rising!) but i don't want you all to think i only like this because it reminded me of my favorite book, because i promise you this book and story and main character completely stand on their own and deserve to be celebrated all on their own as well!

also, the prologue of this one will grip you all on its own, i promise. but after the prologue, we see vis, seventeen years old and still orphaned, working in a prison where people are being drugged and their will (or magic) is being siphoned to other people higher in society (or pyramids). But vis catches the eye of one of the visitors, and he finally receives his opportunity to train to go undercover to catena academy and get revenge for the murder of his family.

but this synopsis is really only the tip of the iceberg pyramid of this story. this is also a story about love and how that can take so many different shapes and forms. this is a story about friendship and the beauty of learning to trust after the world has given you so many reasons not to ever again. this is a story about honoring your past while also embracing the hope of what your future might look like.

this was paced so very well - the lead up was everything, but the ending was out of this world phenomenal. this was written so beautifully, from quotes to metaphors, to just being a book that i feel like i could highlight something on every page. this was also so smartly written, and always walked a really tight balance line of dark and light. and the magic system is so complex yet also simple at the same time, and it really impressed me all on its own. this book was truly an accumulation of so many amazing ideas and executed concepts that i was completely immersed from cover to cover.

and the book truly evoked so many feelings (and tears… one time even involving a lobster) from me, and it really instantly became a new all time favorite. and in 600 pages, vis really stole my heart and became a new all time favorite character. this really was one of the bright shining lights of all of sff in 2023, and very much a part of my reading year, and i highly recommend this story to you. and I absolutely cannot wait to see where this author takes this story next.

trigger + content warnings: blood, captivity, torture, child abuse, abandonment, violence, slavery, bullying, explosions, needles, mention of suicides in past, drugging, vomit (one time self induced), medical testing without consent, anxiety, ptsd, grief, drowning, claustrophobic setting, manipulation, one sentence mention of homophobia (in a negative light), loss of a limb, loss of a friend/loved one, loss of parents and siblings in past, ableist + dated language for people who have disabilities

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]]>
<![CDATA[Yumi and the Nightmare Painter]]> 60531416 #1 New York Times bestselling author Brandon Sanderson brings us a gripping story set in the Cosmere universe told by Hoid, where two people from incredibly different worlds must compromise and work together to save their worlds from ruin.

Yumi comes from a land of gardens, meditation, and spirits, while Painter lives in a world of darkness, technology, and nightmares. When their lives suddenly become intertwined in strange ways, can they put aside their differences and work together to uncover the mysteries of their situation and save each other’s communities from certain disaster?]]>
480 Brandon Sanderson 1938570375 Melanie 5
“She was so tired. Overwhelmed. There was something incredibly therapeutic about sitting, pulling a blanket around herself, and watching someone else’s problems for a while.”

this was such a love letter to stories, storytelling, art, creating, and the connections we make because of them. this book really emphasizes why we need stories, why we need books, and movies, and dramas, and video games, and our family to pass down the stories that were passed down to them. this is not only one of my favorite brandon sanderson books, but it is one of the most beautiful things ive ever read. i recommend this with my whole heart.

like all the books in this secret project series so far, i personally feel like you can read this without reading any other brandon sanderson book. but you will just appreciate more things if you are caught up with the cosmere, especially if you are a little knowledgeable about his stormlight series…. with roshar and spren and investiture!

this is a story about two people, from two very different worlds, who have made a connection against all odds. And when these two meet, via body swapping, they discover the lives of each other alongside the reader. This story is also very inspired from the stories of your name, final fantasy x, and hikaru no go.

Yumi - from an ancient historical korean inspired world where spirits are summoned to help from rituals. yumi is a yoki-hijo who can control the spirits with her stone stacking, and since birth her life has been all honor and devotion to the people of her world who need help from the spirits.

“And more. Yumi was one of the Chosen, picked at birth, granted the ability to influence the hijo, the spirits. It was an enormous honor among her people. And they never let her forget it.”

Painter - from a more modern day japanese inspired world that is set in darkness with neon lights being the light source. nightmares manifest into actual monsters in this world, and nikaro is someone who uses art to banish them and their violence away from the city

“Trauma doesn’t decrease with company, but it does grow easier to work through when you know someone else understands.”

i really loved both of these worlds and settings, but the noodle shop in painter’s world was everything. i mean, obviously the owner and the coatrack were perfection on their own, but just that setting was so cozy and warm and perfect to picture in my mind while reading. i really hope we get to see at least a glimpse of it again in the future.

okay okay, let’s talk about the romance. i feel like i am a little in the minority with this, but i always like brandon’s romances. (truly, vin and elend are the reason i love bodyguard romances!) but i really loved the relationship in this book - its very slow burn, and it really focuses on their friendship, and them being the people they want to be, not the expectations placed on them by their worlds and circumstances. but oh my gosh i was weeping, truly weeping, at the romance in this book. i loved it completely. and i truly believe the second to last chapter in this book (i am trying to be vague hehe) is one of the best things brandon sanderson has ever written.

i was also very moved with brandon really implementing discussions on ai generated art and creation throughout this book. Humans really put themselves, their experiences, the experiences passed down to them, their blood, sweat, tears, their entire existence into their art. Meanwhile, machines just take and take and take and erase and erase and erase. i feel like he incorporated this very loudly and very softly at the same time, throughout this entire novel, and it is an important conversation we all need to be having and actively trying to dismantle.

and speaking of artwork, has created some of the most beautiful pieces of art throughout this book. these illustrations truly enhanced and elevated this story to a new level and, again, really emphasizes the importance of human’s creating art and forging connections that transcend words.

“Human beings are bundles of emotion puppeting muscles like a marionette. We emote not only with our bodies, but with our very souls.”

in conclusional gushing, you will see me holding this beautiful special edition up in my end of the year, favorite books of the year picture. i am very obsessed with this and it really was close to perfection for me. truly a reminder why i love art and reading and escaping into worlds with characters like this.

trigger + content warnings: nightmares, anxiety depiction, depression depiction, trauma, blood, death, violence, hurt child, brief mention of bullying in past, abusive childhood, slavery, captivity, arachnoid visual descriptions



| | | | |

Tress of the Emerald Sea ★★★★★
The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England ★★
The Sunlit Man ★★★★]]>
4.45 2023 Yumi and the Nightmare Painter
author: Brandon Sanderson
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.45
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/07/09
date added: 2025/04/03
shelves: fantasy, read-in-2023, romance, sci-fi, adult, favorites
review:
“She was so tired. Overwhelmed. There was something incredibly therapeutic about sitting, pulling a blanket around herself, and watching someone else’s problems for a while.”

this was such a love letter to stories, storytelling, art, creating, and the connections we make because of them. this book really emphasizes why we need stories, why we need books, and movies, and dramas, and video games, and our family to pass down the stories that were passed down to them. this is not only one of my favorite brandon sanderson books, but it is one of the most beautiful things ive ever read. i recommend this with my whole heart.

like all the books in this secret project series so far, i personally feel like you can read this without reading any other brandon sanderson book. but you will just appreciate more things if you are caught up with the cosmere, especially if you are a little knowledgeable about his stormlight series…. with roshar and spren and investiture!

this is a story about two people, from two very different worlds, who have made a connection against all odds. And when these two meet, via body swapping, they discover the lives of each other alongside the reader. This story is also very inspired from the stories of your name, final fantasy x, and hikaru no go.

Yumi - from an ancient historical korean inspired world where spirits are summoned to help from rituals. yumi is a yoki-hijo who can control the spirits with her stone stacking, and since birth her life has been all honor and devotion to the people of her world who need help from the spirits.

“And more. Yumi was one of the Chosen, picked at birth, granted the ability to influence the hijo, the spirits. It was an enormous honor among her people. And they never let her forget it.”

Painter - from a more modern day japanese inspired world that is set in darkness with neon lights being the light source. nightmares manifest into actual monsters in this world, and nikaro is someone who uses art to banish them and their violence away from the city

“Trauma doesn’t decrease with company, but it does grow easier to work through when you know someone else understands.”

i really loved both of these worlds and settings, but the noodle shop in painter’s world was everything. i mean, obviously the owner and the coatrack were perfection on their own, but just that setting was so cozy and warm and perfect to picture in my mind while reading. i really hope we get to see at least a glimpse of it again in the future.

okay okay, let’s talk about the romance. i feel like i am a little in the minority with this, but i always like brandon’s romances. (truly, vin and elend are the reason i love bodyguard romances!) but i really loved the relationship in this book - its very slow burn, and it really focuses on their friendship, and them being the people they want to be, not the expectations placed on them by their worlds and circumstances. but oh my gosh i was weeping, truly weeping, at the romance in this book. i loved it completely. and i truly believe the second to last chapter in this book (i am trying to be vague hehe) is one of the best things brandon sanderson has ever written.

i was also very moved with brandon really implementing discussions on ai generated art and creation throughout this book. Humans really put themselves, their experiences, the experiences passed down to them, their blood, sweat, tears, their entire existence into their art. Meanwhile, machines just take and take and take and erase and erase and erase. i feel like he incorporated this very loudly and very softly at the same time, throughout this entire novel, and it is an important conversation we all need to be having and actively trying to dismantle.

and speaking of artwork, has created some of the most beautiful pieces of art throughout this book. these illustrations truly enhanced and elevated this story to a new level and, again, really emphasizes the importance of human’s creating art and forging connections that transcend words.

“Human beings are bundles of emotion puppeting muscles like a marionette. We emote not only with our bodies, but with our very souls.”

in conclusional gushing, you will see me holding this beautiful special edition up in my end of the year, favorite books of the year picture. i am very obsessed with this and it really was close to perfection for me. truly a reminder why i love art and reading and escaping into worlds with characters like this.

trigger + content warnings: nightmares, anxiety depiction, depression depiction, trauma, blood, death, violence, hurt child, brief mention of bullying in past, abusive childhood, slavery, captivity, arachnoid visual descriptions



| | | | |

Tress of the Emerald Sea ★★★★★
The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England ★★
The Sunlit Man ★★★★
]]>
Tress of the Emerald Sea 60531406 #1 New York Times bestselling author Brandon Sanderson expands his Cosmere universe shared by The Stormlight Archive and Mistborn with a new standalone novel for everyone who loved The Princess Bride.

The only life Tress has known on her island home in an emerald-green ocean has been a simple one, with the simple pleasures of collecting cups brought by sailors from faraway lands and listening to stories told by her friend Charlie. But when his father takes him on a voyage to find a bride and disaster strikes, Tress must stow away on a ship and seek the Sorceress of the deadly Midnight Sea. Amid the spore oceans where pirates abound, can Tress leave her simple life behind and make her own place sailing a sea where a single drop of water can mean instant death?]]>
443 Brandon Sanderson Melanie 5
“Our words, like our hearts, are weapons still hot from the forging, beating themselves into new shapes each time we swing them.”

The first of brandon sanderson’s secret cosmere projects was everything for me. This story is truly unlike any other that brandon has created before, for so many reasons, but mostly because it reads like a fairytale! This is inspired by The Princess Bride, which I actually have never read before, but it didn't hinder my reading experience whatsoever! And just seeing some long time favorites from the cosmere world, and some cameos and name drops that I was not prepared for, felt like coming home - even if this setting is one that I would have never anticipated! But… dare I say, because I know this is a keyword everyone is looking for these days… this was cozy fantasy perfection!

You do not need to read any other book in the cosmere to read this story, but you will miss out on so many easter eggs throughout and i am not sure if not having that appreciation will hinder your reading experience - so here is a little warning, in case!

To put this very briefly, this is a story about a girl who leaves the only home she has ever known to brave a very strange ocean, in a very different cosmere world, with a very sweet pirate crew (for the most part), for love. Because at the end of all my favorite types of stories, it’s always for love and it’s always worth it.

But I so quickly fell in love with Tress and her teacups and her story. Also, if you’ve been following my reviews for a while, you will know how much I adore a questing storyline and this book delivered that and more so! I also feel like every cosmere series has such a perfect and different found family, yet you always feel like you are a part of that family as well, and it’s so beautiful each time, but this one was extra close to my heart.

I absolutely cannot wait to get my hands on the second secret project, because the bar has just been set so very high for me. (plus howard lyon is one of my favorite magic the gathering artist so it was extra perfect for me!) I also have a very soft spot for the character who narrates this story… and to keep being secretive… I loved the whimsy of this story extra, too! muhahahahah!

I predict this will probably make my best of 2023 list, because my heart overflows more and more each time i think about this story. It just felt so warm and cozy and was filled with so much light and hope - and that’s exactly what I want to be reading in my life right now.

trigger + content warnings: mentions of war, poison/drugging, vomit, captivity, murder, talk of cancer/tumors very briefly, brief weight loss comment, mention of slavery, and… lots of mentions of spores (i only say this because i think a lot of people are watching last of us right now and it might make you think about things lol)

| | | | |

The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England ★★
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter ★★★★★
The Sunlit Man ★★★★]]>
4.34 2023 Tress of the Emerald Sea
author: Brandon Sanderson
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.34
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/01/07
date added: 2025/04/03
shelves: adult, fantasy, book-subscription-box, audiobook, read-in-2023, dragons, favorites, romance
review:
“Our words, like our hearts, are weapons still hot from the forging, beating themselves into new shapes each time we swing them.”

The first of brandon sanderson’s secret cosmere projects was everything for me. This story is truly unlike any other that brandon has created before, for so many reasons, but mostly because it reads like a fairytale! This is inspired by The Princess Bride, which I actually have never read before, but it didn't hinder my reading experience whatsoever! And just seeing some long time favorites from the cosmere world, and some cameos and name drops that I was not prepared for, felt like coming home - even if this setting is one that I would have never anticipated! But… dare I say, because I know this is a keyword everyone is looking for these days… this was cozy fantasy perfection!

You do not need to read any other book in the cosmere to read this story, but you will miss out on so many easter eggs throughout and i am not sure if not having that appreciation will hinder your reading experience - so here is a little warning, in case!

To put this very briefly, this is a story about a girl who leaves the only home she has ever known to brave a very strange ocean, in a very different cosmere world, with a very sweet pirate crew (for the most part), for love. Because at the end of all my favorite types of stories, it’s always for love and it’s always worth it.

But I so quickly fell in love with Tress and her teacups and her story. Also, if you’ve been following my reviews for a while, you will know how much I adore a questing storyline and this book delivered that and more so! I also feel like every cosmere series has such a perfect and different found family, yet you always feel like you are a part of that family as well, and it’s so beautiful each time, but this one was extra close to my heart.

I absolutely cannot wait to get my hands on the second secret project, because the bar has just been set so very high for me. (plus howard lyon is one of my favorite magic the gathering artist so it was extra perfect for me!) I also have a very soft spot for the character who narrates this story… and to keep being secretive… I loved the whimsy of this story extra, too! muhahahahah!

I predict this will probably make my best of 2023 list, because my heart overflows more and more each time i think about this story. It just felt so warm and cozy and was filled with so much light and hope - and that’s exactly what I want to be reading in my life right now.

trigger + content warnings: mentions of war, poison/drugging, vomit, captivity, murder, talk of cancer/tumors very briefly, brief weight loss comment, mention of slavery, and… lots of mentions of spores (i only say this because i think a lot of people are watching last of us right now and it might make you think about things lol)

| | | | |

The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England ★★
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter ★★★★★
The Sunlit Man ★★★★
]]>
Jujutsu Kaisen, Vol. 1 44451887
In a world where demons feed on unsuspecting humans, fragments of the legendary and feared demon Ryoma Sukuna were lost and scattered about. Should any demon consume Sukuna’s body parts, the power they gain could destroy the world as we know it. Fortunately, there exists a mysterious school of Jujutsu Sorcerers who exist to protect the precarious existence of the living from the undead!

Yuji Itadori is high schooler who spends his days visiting his bedridden grandfather. Although he looks like your average teenager, his immense physical strength is something to behold! Every sports club wants him to join, but Itadori would rather hang out with the school outcasts in the Occult Club. One day, the club manages to get their hands on a sealed cursed object, but little do they know the terror they’ll unleash when they break the seal... ]]>
192 Gege Akutami 1974710025 Melanie 4
“You may feel lost. Don’t expect gratitude. Just help them.”

this is one of my brother’s favorite ongoing series, and with the way social media has been reacting to the current chapter, i knew i could no longer ignore this story! and i really had a good time with this first volume, and i really, really, really instantly fell in love with Itadori Yuji.

this is a story about cursed objects, demons, a mysterious school in tokyo, and one boy just wanting to help as many people as he can. i truly really enjoyed this one and i really loved how curses in this world are manifestations of people’s hurt and pain and sadness (because sometimes that really feels true in our world too). this did get a little spooky at times, so use caution if you need to, but i absolutely cannot wait to read more - especially with that cliffhanger ending!

trigger + content warnings: sickness, brief hospital setting, talk of death, death, loss of a loved one (grandfather), grief, violence, gore, fighting, possession, brief cannibalism, harm to an animal - maybe death to an animal (divine dog), insect imagery (spiders + ticks)

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(my lil brother gifted me this for my birthday ♡)]]>
4.31 2018 Jujutsu Kaisen, Vol. 1
author: Gege Akutami
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.31
book published: 2018
rating: 4
read at: 2023/09/30
date added: 2025/02/27
shelves: manga-and-light-novels, read-in-2023, demons, horror
review:
“You may feel lost. Don’t expect gratitude. Just help them.”

this is one of my brother’s favorite ongoing series, and with the way social media has been reacting to the current chapter, i knew i could no longer ignore this story! and i really had a good time with this first volume, and i really, really, really instantly fell in love with Itadori Yuji.

this is a story about cursed objects, demons, a mysterious school in tokyo, and one boy just wanting to help as many people as he can. i truly really enjoyed this one and i really loved how curses in this world are manifestations of people’s hurt and pain and sadness (because sometimes that really feels true in our world too). this did get a little spooky at times, so use caution if you need to, but i absolutely cannot wait to read more - especially with that cliffhanger ending!

trigger + content warnings: sickness, brief hospital setting, talk of death, death, loss of a loved one (grandfather), grief, violence, gore, fighting, possession, brief cannibalism, harm to an animal - maybe death to an animal (divine dog), insect imagery (spiders + ticks)

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(my lil brother gifted me this for my birthday ♡)
]]>
Hell Bent (Alex Stern, #2) 34019110 Wealth. Power. Murder. Magic. Alex Stern is back and the Ivy League is going straight to hell.

Find a gateway to the underworld. Steal a soul out of hell. A simple plan, except people who make this particular journey rarely come back. But Galaxy “Alex” Stern is determined to break Darlington out of purgatory―even if it costs her a future at Lethe and at Yale.

Forbidden from attempting a rescue, Alex and Dawes can’t call on the Ninth House for help, so they assemble a team of dubious allies to save the gentleman of Lethe. Together, they will have to navigate a maze of arcane texts and bizarre artifacts to uncover the societies’ most closely guarded secrets, and break every rule doing it. But when faculty members begin to die off, Alex knows these aren’t just accidents. Something deadly is at work in New Haven, and if she is going to survive, she’ll have to reckon with the monsters of her past and a darkness built into the university’s very walls.

Thick with history and packed with Bardugo’s signature twists, Hell Bent brings to life an intricate world full of magic, violence, and all too real monsters.]]>
484 Leigh Bardugo 1250313112 Melanie 3 Ninth House ★★★

“Welcome home. Welcome back. We missed you. I missed you more than I should have, more than I wanted to. I went to hell for you. I’d do it again.”

a reminder that 3 star ratings aren't bad ratings hehehe! i enjoyed this, i just didn't love it the way i wish i did... but that's okay because i still had a really good time turning these pages! this is still such a powerful series, and i can't wait for whatever book three has in store! <3

trigger + content warnings: loss of a loved one, blood depictions, abuse, mentions of rape in past, murder, death, gore, panic attacks, fire, talk of attempted suicide, talk of suicide, self harm for blood for magic, possession and compulsion, bullying, brief mentions of overdosing, drugs, drugs use, police brutality, cancer mention, vomiting, heat attack mention, animal death, talk of electric shock therapy, mentions of bugs/maggots/spiders, and very bad and abusive relationships with people and with parents in the past. this book can get very dark at times and has constant themes of abuse - please use caution while reading and make sure you're in a good space for it in your life.

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4.20 2023 Hell Bent (Alex Stern, #2)
author: Leigh Bardugo
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.20
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/01/24
date added: 2024/11/19
shelves: adult, dark, ghosts, magic, paranormal, read-in-2023, vampires, demons, academia
review:
Ninth House ★★★

“Welcome home. Welcome back. We missed you. I missed you more than I should have, more than I wanted to. I went to hell for you. I’d do it again.”

a reminder that 3 star ratings aren't bad ratings hehehe! i enjoyed this, i just didn't love it the way i wish i did... but that's okay because i still had a really good time turning these pages! this is still such a powerful series, and i can't wait for whatever book three has in store! <3

trigger + content warnings: loss of a loved one, blood depictions, abuse, mentions of rape in past, murder, death, gore, panic attacks, fire, talk of attempted suicide, talk of suicide, self harm for blood for magic, possession and compulsion, bullying, brief mentions of overdosing, drugs, drugs use, police brutality, cancer mention, vomiting, heat attack mention, animal death, talk of electric shock therapy, mentions of bugs/maggots/spiders, and very bad and abusive relationships with people and with parents in the past. this book can get very dark at times and has constant themes of abuse - please use caution while reading and make sure you're in a good space for it in your life.

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<![CDATA[A Study in Drowning (A Study in Drowning, #1)]]> 75302266 Angharad—Emrys Myrddin’s epic about a mortal girl who falls in love with the Fairy King, then destroys him—is the only thing keeping her afloat. So when Myrddin’s family announces a contest to redesign the late author’s estate, Effy feels certain it’s her destiny.

But musty, decrepit Hiraeth Manor is an impossible task, and its residents are far from welcoming. Including Preston Héloury, a stodgy young literature scholar determined to expose Myrddin as a fraud. As the two rivals piece together clues about Myrddin’s legacy, dark forces, both mortal and magical, conspire against them—and the truth may bring them both to ruin.]]>
378 Ava Reid 0063211505 Melanie 2
“You don’t have to take up a sword. Survival is bravery, too.”

this is an dark academia story, set in a historical but different world than our own, where two regional factions (north and south) are at war with one another, and two students who are from different sides (and who attend the same university) are tasked with different academic missions at a very remote sea side manor that is falling into the sea. this is also a story about storytelling and finding safety and comfort and escapism in words and tales and myths. even if this story at the heart of this is about a fae king who will stop at nothing to take and take and take what his entitled self views as his.

this is very atmospheric and the writing is so very good. i loved the themes of this story and the emphasis on power in regards to reclaiming your life and agency and voice after really horrible things happen to you. and how there is so much power in knowing you aren’t alone, and that there is power in giving a voice to not only yourself but the others who were silenced before you, and the power of just knowing that people believe you.

but sadly, i just didn’t love the actual story of this one, even though it had so much that i did love. it felt very long and tedious to read, and it was so very predictable in every way. i don’t want to call this book boring, because it just seems wrong with all the aspects that i enjoyed, but i really had to force myself to pick this one up each night for some reason. maybe i just had too high of hopes for it and it really hindered my reading experience? ultimately, i just couldn’t connect with this story or the characters, even if i really respect the themes of this book and the care the author put into this story. but i also know this book will be very powerful to a lot of readers, so please know that i still recommend this and very much implore you to look at other reviews!

i just want to also note - the last line of this book is very powerful. i think it’s been a long while since the last sentence of a book made me pause the way this one did (and then the last acknowledgement being to zelda… was everything). very powerful, and i hope everyone reading this can feel lighter and safer and drown all their demons, too.

trigger + content warnings: predatory behavior, abuse of power, power imbalances, grooming, gaslighting, mentions of sexual assault, unwanted touching, sexism + misogyny, panic attacks, ptsd, nightmares, mention of war, spider mention, death, blood mentions, mention of loss of parent in past, car accident in past, abandonment, grief, incorrect medical diagonis, bad parenting, mention of parent abusing alcohol, a lot of talk of medication, a lot of smoking, blood mentions, mention of a dead animal, torture descriptions in past, talk of child death/sacrifice in past in a myth/story, and drowning

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3.72 2023 A Study in Drowning (A Study in Drowning, #1)
author: Ava Reid
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.72
book published: 2023
rating: 2
read at: 2023/10/06
date added: 2024/11/19
shelves: read-in-2023, fantasy, fae, signed, book-subscription-box, romance, young-adult, academia
review:
“You don’t have to take up a sword. Survival is bravery, too.”

this is an dark academia story, set in a historical but different world than our own, where two regional factions (north and south) are at war with one another, and two students who are from different sides (and who attend the same university) are tasked with different academic missions at a very remote sea side manor that is falling into the sea. this is also a story about storytelling and finding safety and comfort and escapism in words and tales and myths. even if this story at the heart of this is about a fae king who will stop at nothing to take and take and take what his entitled self views as his.

this is very atmospheric and the writing is so very good. i loved the themes of this story and the emphasis on power in regards to reclaiming your life and agency and voice after really horrible things happen to you. and how there is so much power in knowing you aren’t alone, and that there is power in giving a voice to not only yourself but the others who were silenced before you, and the power of just knowing that people believe you.

but sadly, i just didn’t love the actual story of this one, even though it had so much that i did love. it felt very long and tedious to read, and it was so very predictable in every way. i don’t want to call this book boring, because it just seems wrong with all the aspects that i enjoyed, but i really had to force myself to pick this one up each night for some reason. maybe i just had too high of hopes for it and it really hindered my reading experience? ultimately, i just couldn’t connect with this story or the characters, even if i really respect the themes of this book and the care the author put into this story. but i also know this book will be very powerful to a lot of readers, so please know that i still recommend this and very much implore you to look at other reviews!

i just want to also note - the last line of this book is very powerful. i think it’s been a long while since the last sentence of a book made me pause the way this one did (and then the last acknowledgement being to zelda… was everything). very powerful, and i hope everyone reading this can feel lighter and safer and drown all their demons, too.

trigger + content warnings: predatory behavior, abuse of power, power imbalances, grooming, gaslighting, mentions of sexual assault, unwanted touching, sexism + misogyny, panic attacks, ptsd, nightmares, mention of war, spider mention, death, blood mentions, mention of loss of parent in past, car accident in past, abandonment, grief, incorrect medical diagonis, bad parenting, mention of parent abusing alcohol, a lot of talk of medication, a lot of smoking, blood mentions, mention of a dead animal, torture descriptions in past, talk of child death/sacrifice in past in a myth/story, and drowning

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<![CDATA[Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1)]]> 61431922 Enter the brutal and elite world of a war college for dragon riders.

Twenty-year-old Violet Sorrengail was supposed to enter the Scribe Quadrant, living a quiet life among books and history. Now the commanding general—also known as her tough-as-talons mother—has ordered Violet to join the hundreds of candidates striving to become the elite of Navarre: dragon riders.

But when you’re smaller than everyone else and your body is brittle, death is only a heartbeat away...because dragons don’t bond to “fragile” humans; they incinerate them. With fewer dragons willing to bond than cadets, most would kill Violet to better their chances of success. The rest would kill her just for being her mother’s daughter—like Xaden Riorson, the most powerful and ruthless wingleader in the Riders Quadrant. She’ll need every edge her wits can give her just to see the next sunrise.

Yet with every day that passes, the war outside grows deadlier; the kingdom's protective wards are failing; and the death toll continues to rise. Even worse, Violet begins to suspect leadership is hiding a terrible secret.]]>
517 Rebecca Yarros 1649374046 Melanie 5
“I would rather lose this entire war than live without you, and if that means I have to prove myself over and over, then I'll do it. You gave me your heart, and I'm keeping it.”

i promise you, no one is more surprised than me. the hype really is real and valid, but what made me fall in love was something i was not expecting to find within these pages. i will honestly say that the content of this book was probably more of a four star from me (still amazing obviously), but the reading experience for me was truly above any five stars i could possibly give this.

it has been so many years since the book community has had a book like this, where everyone is just vibrating with excitement. from the book being sold out everywhere, to all bookish platforms non-stop talking about it, to threads and threads of theorycrafting, to having the happiest of conversations with my friends, this book really is impossible to not know about if you’re in any part of bookish spaces. but why i think this book is so successful, and what surprised me the most, is the insane nostalgia this book was able to evoke from me, because fourth wing feels like all the fantasy series i grew up devouring and obsessing over.

i completely recognize this is not a perfect book, but rebecca yarros has created a feeling that i haven’t felt since vampire academy, twilight, hunger games, divergent, falling kingdoms. i feel like she personally handed me a big cup of my favorite nostalgia, that i almost forgot the taste of, and for that she really is going to get all the stars from me.

but the story of this book is good and solid, and the characters are truly amazing as well. violet is such an amazing main character, and i felt so much pride for her throughout this book. I love her sister, i love her bestie, i love all the dragons with my whole entire heart, and… xaden is six stars all on his own as well.

i will forever adore a boarding school setting and a main character who loves the stories she grew up reading. And this book really did have a few good twists that surprised me. the pacing was great and made me never want to put this book down. overall, i really just do not have a bad thing to say - this was a complete joy to read and will forever be a happy memory of the reading experience.

trigger + content warnings: war themes, mention of heart failure, loss of a parent in the past, loss of a loved one/friend, loss of an animal (dragon), death, murder, blood, violence, vomit, anxiety depiction, self sacrificing actions, and ableism (always in a negative light). i know i compared the feeling of this to many ya series i grew up loving, but this is a very adult book with very adult themes !!

♡ buddy read with Amy!

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4.55 2023 Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1)
author: Rebecca Yarros
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.55
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/06/26
date added: 2024/11/19
shelves: fantasy, dragons, romance, read-in-2023, buddy-reads, new-adult, academia
review:
“I would rather lose this entire war than live without you, and if that means I have to prove myself over and over, then I'll do it. You gave me your heart, and I'm keeping it.”

i promise you, no one is more surprised than me. the hype really is real and valid, but what made me fall in love was something i was not expecting to find within these pages. i will honestly say that the content of this book was probably more of a four star from me (still amazing obviously), but the reading experience for me was truly above any five stars i could possibly give this.

it has been so many years since the book community has had a book like this, where everyone is just vibrating with excitement. from the book being sold out everywhere, to all bookish platforms non-stop talking about it, to threads and threads of theorycrafting, to having the happiest of conversations with my friends, this book really is impossible to not know about if you’re in any part of bookish spaces. but why i think this book is so successful, and what surprised me the most, is the insane nostalgia this book was able to evoke from me, because fourth wing feels like all the fantasy series i grew up devouring and obsessing over.

i completely recognize this is not a perfect book, but rebecca yarros has created a feeling that i haven’t felt since vampire academy, twilight, hunger games, divergent, falling kingdoms. i feel like she personally handed me a big cup of my favorite nostalgia, that i almost forgot the taste of, and for that she really is going to get all the stars from me.

but the story of this book is good and solid, and the characters are truly amazing as well. violet is such an amazing main character, and i felt so much pride for her throughout this book. I love her sister, i love her bestie, i love all the dragons with my whole entire heart, and… xaden is six stars all on his own as well.

i will forever adore a boarding school setting and a main character who loves the stories she grew up reading. And this book really did have a few good twists that surprised me. the pacing was great and made me never want to put this book down. overall, i really just do not have a bad thing to say - this was a complete joy to read and will forever be a happy memory of the reading experience.

trigger + content warnings: war themes, mention of heart failure, loss of a parent in the past, loss of a loved one/friend, loss of an animal (dragon), death, murder, blood, violence, vomit, anxiety depiction, self sacrificing actions, and ableism (always in a negative light). i know i compared the feeling of this to many ya series i grew up loving, but this is a very adult book with very adult themes !!

♡ buddy read with Amy!

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Love, Theoretically 61326735
Honestly, it’s a pretty sweet gig—until her carefully constructed Elsie-verse comes crashing down. Because Jack Smith, the annoyingly attractive and broody older brother of her favorite client, turns out to be the cold-hearted experimental physicist who ruined her mentor’s career and undermined the reputation of theorists everywhere. And that same Jack who now sits on the hiring committee at MIT, right between Elsie and her dream job.

Elsie is prepared for an all-out war of scholarly sabotage but…those long, penetrating looks? Not having to be anything other than her true self when she’s with him? Will falling into an experimentalist’s orbit finally tempt her to put her most guarded theories on love into practice?]]>
389 Ali Hazelwood 1408725797 Melanie 4
“I’d give everyone the me they wanted, needed, craved, and in exchange they’d care about me.”

i actually feel like the first half of this was five stars for me, but sadly the ending just got a little away from me. but I do think Ali Hazelwood is an author that just really works for me, and will continue to work for me, because i really just enjoy her settings and characters and she so easily makes me feel so much for them. i also feel like you can just tell that she really puts her whole heart into so much of the content she is putting into her stories, and i just really love seeing and feeling that a lot.

in this book, elsie has type 1 diabetes and is in desperate need to get a job with insurance that will allow her to get the insulin she needs to live, and her being an adjunct professor does not give her that. nor does her job of being a fake girlfriend for people who need a plus-one at social functions. but maybe if she can finally get a job with good insurance as a full time researcher at MIT. that is, until the head of the physics institute recognizes her because she has been fake dating his brother.

i know that is quite the set up, but this book really does have a lot of good in it that really worked for me. Some aroace rep, talk of power imbalances in stem spaces, an amazing best friend and her amazing hedgehog, themes of how the past can shape us but we can always choose to be better and do better, and how sometimes it can feel easier to be the person you know someone wants you to be, and how it can be so very scary to let people in and show them the real you. i really loved the romance in this, and the sex in this, and had a goofy grin on my face while reading. Oh! and an adam and olive cameo .

Chronic Illness (Type 1 diabetes), Financial insecurity and lack of health insurance, Sexism, Gaslighting by a mentor within an academic setting, Death of a parent by illness (off page, in the past), Explicit and graphic sexual content, Cursing and vulgar language

other trigger + content warnings i found while reading: seizure mention in past, abusive parents, abusive relationship in past, child health issues, insulin scare in past, glycemic attacks, insect + spider mentions, a joke about bed bugs, vomit, allergic reaction mention with epipen used, ration medication, lack of total consent in past / sexual assault in past, anxiety, and something happens that kind of makes someone come out - i don't want to say forced to come out - and the mc apologizes and acknowledges this - but i could potentially see this triggering to some readers so use caution.

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The Love Hypothesis ★★★★★
Bride ★★★★]]>
4.07 2023 Love, Theoretically
author: Ali Hazelwood
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.07
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/09/13
date added: 2024/11/19
shelves: contemporary, adult, read-in-2023, romance, arc, academia
review:
“I’d give everyone the me they wanted, needed, craved, and in exchange they’d care about me.”

i actually feel like the first half of this was five stars for me, but sadly the ending just got a little away from me. but I do think Ali Hazelwood is an author that just really works for me, and will continue to work for me, because i really just enjoy her settings and characters and she so easily makes me feel so much for them. i also feel like you can just tell that she really puts her whole heart into so much of the content she is putting into her stories, and i just really love seeing and feeling that a lot.

in this book, elsie has type 1 diabetes and is in desperate need to get a job with insurance that will allow her to get the insulin she needs to live, and her being an adjunct professor does not give her that. nor does her job of being a fake girlfriend for people who need a plus-one at social functions. but maybe if she can finally get a job with good insurance as a full time researcher at MIT. that is, until the head of the physics institute recognizes her because she has been fake dating his brother.

i know that is quite the set up, but this book really does have a lot of good in it that really worked for me. Some aroace rep, talk of power imbalances in stem spaces, an amazing best friend and her amazing hedgehog, themes of how the past can shape us but we can always choose to be better and do better, and how sometimes it can feel easier to be the person you know someone wants you to be, and how it can be so very scary to let people in and show them the real you. i really loved the romance in this, and the sex in this, and had a goofy grin on my face while reading. Oh! and an adam and olive cameo .

Chronic Illness (Type 1 diabetes), Financial insecurity and lack of health insurance, Sexism, Gaslighting by a mentor within an academic setting, Death of a parent by illness (off page, in the past), Explicit and graphic sexual content, Cursing and vulgar language

other trigger + content warnings i found while reading: seizure mention in past, abusive parents, abusive relationship in past, child health issues, insulin scare in past, glycemic attacks, insect + spider mentions, a joke about bed bugs, vomit, allergic reaction mention with epipen used, ration medication, lack of total consent in past / sexual assault in past, anxiety, and something happens that kind of makes someone come out - i don't want to say forced to come out - and the mc apologizes and acknowledges this - but i could potentially see this triggering to some readers so use caution.

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The Love Hypothesis ★★★★★
Bride ★★★★
]]>
The Passing of the Dragon 197351497 46 Ken Liu 1250333148 Melanie 5
“We’re meant to bring our stories together, to speak and listen and know that the stories are real and they matter.”

oh, this was so beautiful. if you're a content creator, this is truly a must read. so heartfelt, so profound, so emotional, and just truly so so so beautiful. this follows an artist visiting the home of one of her favorite artists on christmas eve. she sees a dragon, decides to create a new painting because of it, and her life (and perspective) quickly changes.

it is a brave act to put yourself out there, and it is even braver to continuously keep putting yourself out there again and again and again. from poems to paintings to book reviewing here on goodreads. humans can be so passionate, especially when inspiration is involved, and extra when we are trying to make connections to make the world and everything beautiful in it feel less lonely.

online spaces can be hard and scary, but they can also be so very rewarding. especially when you find people who find the similar magic of your heart. if you're reading this, please know i am so very proud of you, always, and all the magic you allow yourself to see and hear and feel.

trigger and content warnings: depression, anxiety, one sentence mention of loss of a loved one in past, online harassment and bullying.

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4.08 2023 The Passing of the Dragon
author: Ken Liu
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.08
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/12/28
date added: 2024/11/01
shelves: fantasy, adult, short-stories, read-in-2023
review:
✰ read for free on

“We’re meant to bring our stories together, to speak and listen and know that the stories are real and they matter.”

oh, this was so beautiful. if you're a content creator, this is truly a must read. so heartfelt, so profound, so emotional, and just truly so so so beautiful. this follows an artist visiting the home of one of her favorite artists on christmas eve. she sees a dragon, decides to create a new painting because of it, and her life (and perspective) quickly changes.

it is a brave act to put yourself out there, and it is even braver to continuously keep putting yourself out there again and again and again. from poems to paintings to book reviewing here on goodreads. humans can be so passionate, especially when inspiration is involved, and extra when we are trying to make connections to make the world and everything beautiful in it feel less lonely.

online spaces can be hard and scary, but they can also be so very rewarding. especially when you find people who find the similar magic of your heart. if you're reading this, please know i am so very proud of you, always, and all the magic you allow yourself to see and hear and feel.

trigger and content warnings: depression, anxiety, one sentence mention of loss of a loved one in past, online harassment and bullying.

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Our Wives Under the Sea 58659343
Moving through something that only resembles normal life, Miri comes to realize that the life that they had before might be gone. Though Leah is still there, Miri can feel the woman she loves slipping from her grasp.

Our Wives Under The Sea is the debut novel from Julia Armfield, the critically acclaimed author of Salt Slow. It’s a story of falling in love, loss, grief, and what life there is in the deep deep sea.]]>
240 Julia Armfield 152901722X Melanie 5
“It’s hard when you look up and realise that everyone’s moved off and left you in that place by yourself. Like they’ve all gone on and you’re there still, holding on to this person you’re supposed to let go of.”

this is a heartbreakingly beautifully written book that the reader can interpret in many different ways. But this ultimately is a story about how grief can impact us, change us, shape us.

this will not be a book for everyone, and even though there are so many eerie scenes, the sadness and loneliness and helplessness i felt while reading was the scariest horror elements for me. i cried for the entire end of this, and for sure at least half of my tears were because i was purely heavy sad, but i also think it’s because this story is so expertly crafted that half of my tears were the light feeling of feeling seen and felt cathartic to let out.

letting go can be so hard, even when it is the right thing, and especially if you are given no other option but to let go. but this book just amplifies, and continues to echo throughout, that reality so very much, because sometimes you really are forced to give up the entire sum of your heart, and you’ll never be prepared for the timing of it. we as humans just are not equipped to deal with that instant emptiness, no matter how many times we read about it in books.

“I want to explain her in a way that would make you love her, but the problem with this is that loving is something we all do alone and through different sets of eyes.”
i saw someone else say this, but this writing truly feels like the ebb and flow of a great body of water. i even noticed myself rocking slightly back and forth while turning these pages, because this is crafted in such a way that it truly does make the reading experience feel like waves (sometimes crashing against my heart over and over again eroding at something). such a hypnotic style and craft, i really can’t believe this is a debut novel.

again, i just know this is not going to be for everyone, maybe not even for the majority of readers, but i think this book could very much connect with certain readers. And if it does, i think you’ll love it wholeheartedly. also, maybe unimportantly, this book cover is truly an all time favorite for me. haunting, beautiful, and memorable just like the story inside.

lastly, that just really just makes my heart overflow with immeasurable joy, seeing queer writers subvert, empower, and reclaim the horror genre.

trigger + content warnings: grief, depression, death, loss of a loved one, loss of a parent, terminal illness, not great parents, a lot of blood depiction, body horror, talk of eating habits, hypochondria, insect mentions, menstruation mention, needle imagery, vomit, memory loss, nightmares, suicide, confinement that made me feel a little claustrophobic with the descriptions (being trapped in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean for six months)

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♡ buddy read with Maëlys!]]>
3.74 2022 Our Wives Under the Sea
author: Julia Armfield
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.74
book published: 2022
rating: 5
read at: 2023/04/18
date added: 2024/10/11
shelves: horror, lgbtqiap, read-in-2023, sapphic, favorites
review:
“It’s hard when you look up and realise that everyone’s moved off and left you in that place by yourself. Like they’ve all gone on and you’re there still, holding on to this person you’re supposed to let go of.”

this is a heartbreakingly beautifully written book that the reader can interpret in many different ways. But this ultimately is a story about how grief can impact us, change us, shape us.

this will not be a book for everyone, and even though there are so many eerie scenes, the sadness and loneliness and helplessness i felt while reading was the scariest horror elements for me. i cried for the entire end of this, and for sure at least half of my tears were because i was purely heavy sad, but i also think it’s because this story is so expertly crafted that half of my tears were the light feeling of feeling seen and felt cathartic to let out.

letting go can be so hard, even when it is the right thing, and especially if you are given no other option but to let go. but this book just amplifies, and continues to echo throughout, that reality so very much, because sometimes you really are forced to give up the entire sum of your heart, and you’ll never be prepared for the timing of it. we as humans just are not equipped to deal with that instant emptiness, no matter how many times we read about it in books.

“I want to explain her in a way that would make you love her, but the problem with this is that loving is something we all do alone and through different sets of eyes.”
i saw someone else say this, but this writing truly feels like the ebb and flow of a great body of water. i even noticed myself rocking slightly back and forth while turning these pages, because this is crafted in such a way that it truly does make the reading experience feel like waves (sometimes crashing against my heart over and over again eroding at something). such a hypnotic style and craft, i really can’t believe this is a debut novel.

again, i just know this is not going to be for everyone, maybe not even for the majority of readers, but i think this book could very much connect with certain readers. And if it does, i think you’ll love it wholeheartedly. also, maybe unimportantly, this book cover is truly an all time favorite for me. haunting, beautiful, and memorable just like the story inside.

lastly, that just really just makes my heart overflow with immeasurable joy, seeing queer writers subvert, empower, and reclaim the horror genre.

trigger + content warnings: grief, depression, death, loss of a loved one, loss of a parent, terminal illness, not great parents, a lot of blood depiction, body horror, talk of eating habits, hypochondria, insect mentions, menstruation mention, needle imagery, vomit, memory loss, nightmares, suicide, confinement that made me feel a little claustrophobic with the descriptions (being trapped in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean for six months)

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♡ buddy read with Maëlys!
]]>
<![CDATA[Daughter of No Worlds (The War of Lost Hearts, #1)]]> 49826643
Ripped from a forgotten homeland as a child, Tisaanah learned how to survive with nothing but a sharp wit and a touch of magic. But the night she tries to buy her freedom, she barely escapes with her life.

Desperate to save the best friend she left behind, Tisaanah journeys to the Orders, the most powerful organizations of magic Wielders in the world. But to join their ranks, she must complete an apprenticeship with Maxantarius Farlione, a handsome and reclusive fire wielder who despises the Orders.

The Orders’ intentions are cryptic, and Tisaanah must prove herself under the threat of looming war. But even more dangerous are her growing feelings for Maxantarius. The bloody past he wants to forget may be the key to her future… or the downfall of them both.

But Tisaanah will stop at nothing to save those she abandoned. Even if it means gambling in the Orders’ deadly games. Even if it means sacrificing her heart.

Even if it means wielding death itself.

Fans of epic romantic fantasy like Sarah J. Maas and Raven Kennedy will devour this tale of dark magic, passionate romance, vengeance, and redemption.]]>
520 Carissa Broadbent Melanie 3
“Because if I allow myself to be angry, I will never stop.”

i'll be completely honest with you, i adored the cover of this book, and it kept catching my eye over and over, so i picked it up without knowing anything! i liked the story, but i didn't love the story, but i do believe the next book in this series will be even better. and i did really love and appreciate that one of the biggest themes of this book is getting your own agency back, no matter what, especially after years of someone forcing you through abuse to be codependent on them.

trigger + content warnings: blood, death, war, genocide, murder, invasion, slavery, kidnapping, abuse, torture, brief mention of animal death, mention of rape in past, self harm to get blood, mentions of suicide, vomit mentions, loss of a loved one in past, child death in past, grief, anxiety, possession / magical compulsion, gaslighting in past, a little bit of a medical/surgery setting, a lot of talk of scars + burns, snakes + insects

| | | | | ]]>
4.02 2020 Daughter of No Worlds (The War of Lost Hearts, #1)
author: Carissa Broadbent
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.02
book published: 2020
rating: 3
read at: 2023/04/05
date added: 2024/09/26
shelves: adult, fantasy, read-in-2023, romance, magic, spfbo
review:
“Because if I allow myself to be angry, I will never stop.”

i'll be completely honest with you, i adored the cover of this book, and it kept catching my eye over and over, so i picked it up without knowing anything! i liked the story, but i didn't love the story, but i do believe the next book in this series will be even better. and i did really love and appreciate that one of the biggest themes of this book is getting your own agency back, no matter what, especially after years of someone forcing you through abuse to be codependent on them.

trigger + content warnings: blood, death, war, genocide, murder, invasion, slavery, kidnapping, abuse, torture, brief mention of animal death, mention of rape in past, self harm to get blood, mentions of suicide, vomit mentions, loss of a loved one in past, child death in past, grief, anxiety, possession / magical compulsion, gaslighting in past, a little bit of a medical/surgery setting, a lot of talk of scars + burns, snakes + insects

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]]>
<![CDATA[King of Wrath (Kings of Sin, #1)]]> 217206738
Ruthless. Meticulous. Arrogant.

Dante Russo thrives on control, both personally and professionally.

The billionaire CEO never planned to marry—until the threat of blackmail forces him into an engagement with a woman he barely knows.

Vivian Lau, jewelry heiress and daughter of his newest enemy.

It doesn’t matter how beautiful or charming she is. He'll do everything in his power to destroy the evidence and their betrothal.

There’s only one problem: Now that he has her...he can't bring himself to let her go.

***

Elegant. Ambitious. Well-mannered.

Vivian Lau is the perfect daughter and her family’s ticket into the highest echelons of high society.

Marrying a blue-blooded Russo means opening doors that would otherwise remain closed to her new-money family.

While the rude, elusive Dante isn't her idea of a dream partner, she agrees to their arranged marriage out of duty.

Craving his touch was never part of the plan.

Neither was the worst thing she could possibly do: fall in love with her future husband.

King of Wrath is a steamy arranged-marriage billionaire romance. It includes explicit content and profanity. Recommended for mature listeners only.]]>
398 Ana Huang Melanie 4
“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★

Merged review:

“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★

Merged review:

“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★

Merged review:

“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★

Merged review:

“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★]]>
4.05 2022 King of Wrath (Kings of Sin, #1)
author: Ana Huang
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.05
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2023/07/18
date added: 2024/08/08
shelves: adult, read-in-2023, romance, contemporary
review:
“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★

Merged review:

“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★

Merged review:

“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★

Merged review:

“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★

Merged review:

“If I loved you as much as he claims to love you, nothing would’ve stopped me from keeping you.”

oh we love a seven deadly sins inspired series forever and ever. friends, this just really worked for me. maybe the best romance i’ve read all year. this is a story involving a lot of rich people in new york and an arranged marriage, which is a setting and set up i feel like all romance readers have read in bulk at this point, but this really felt different and felt like it was done a lot better. also, this story has a constant theme of jealousy, but the author didn’t need a love triangle or miscommunication for this, and that felt so good to read. and the first sex scene in this book? the best i’ve read in a long, long while. i read it twice it was so good hahaha!

but i really am a simple romance girl, and if a guy gave me dumplings from 34 different restaurants, so that i could find a new favorite, that would be it for me. But also, him giving her these star gazing dates? like, dante is just built a little different, i fear. i ate this romance up with a spoon and i am happily begging for seconds.

have any of you tried soy sauce on vanilla ice cream? i am going to - and then i will report back.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, blackmail, panic attacks, not great parents, abandonment, loss of a loved one in the past (grandpa), mention of heart attack in past, blood, assault, armed robbery, unwanted photos being taken without consent, stalking, and talk of trauma.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★
]]>
The Spear Cuts Through Water 55868456 Two warriors shepherd an ancient god across a broken land to end the tyrannical reign of a royal family in this new epic fantasy from the author of The Vanished Birds.

The people suffer under the centuries-long rule of the Moon Throne. The royal family—the despotic emperor and his monstrous sons, the Three Terrors—hold the countryside in their choking grip. They bleed the land and oppress the citizens with the frightful powers they inherited from the god locked under their palace.

But that god cannot be contained forever.

With the aid of Jun, a guard broken by his guilt-stricken past, and Keema, an outcast fighting for his future, the god escapes from her royal captivity and flees from her own children, the triplet Terrors who would drag her back to her unholy prison. And so it is that she embarks with her young companions on a five-day pilgrimage in search of freedom—and a way to end the Moon Throne forever. The journey ahead will be more dangerous than any of them could have imagined.

Both a sweeping adventure story and an intimate exploration of identity, legacy, and belonging, The Spear Cuts Through Water is an ambitious and profound saga that will transport and transform you—and is like nothing you’ve ever read before.
]]>
525 Simon Jimenez 0593156595 Melanie 5

“Your lola told stories about the country she had come from; your father told you the stories of himself, his destined for greatness. They are private stories told on stages behind thick curtains, seen only by the teller, and no one else.”

i truly think this is the most impressive book i have ever read. so many risky choices, so many leaps of faith, yet jimenez was able to pull everything together in a way that was able to break and heal my heart in two very different ways. this reading experience is truly unlike anything i've ever had, or even seen, before. But this really is one of the most beautiful, powerful, and just awe inspiring books i have ever had the honor of reading in my whole entire life. (and one i know i will carry with me for the rest of my story.)

this book ended up being very personal to me, and i think me and this author really have a lot in common in our lives, so i was just extra deeply impacted by so many passages in this book. because of this, i don’t want to be too personal in this review, but if we have similar book tastes - pick this book up. if you want a story that you've never read before, in a story that is equal parts beautiful in its own way - pick this book up. if you want a unique reading experience, one you've never seen before in the book world, that is also so expertly crafted - pick this book up. if you want a book that is a love letter to storytelling, and family, and honoring your ancestors - pick this book up. if you want to see inside my heart a little bit - pick this up.

from dedication, to acknowledgments, this was utter perfection. i simply do not have good enough words for what jimenez created here, but i truly will follow his art for the rest of my life. i am so thankful this book exists and i can’t wait to cry over everything all over again when my lola reads it.

trigger + content warnings: violence, gore, death, torture, grief depiction, depression depiction, loss of a loved one, mentions of loss of children, captivity, vomit, talk of defecation, ableist language (negative light), homophobia in past, blood, animal deaths, mentions of suicide, suicide ideations, intrusive thoughts, war themes, colonization, fire, cannibalism, captivity

♡ buddy read with May!
The Vanished Birds ★★★★★

| | | | | ]]>
4.16 2022 The Spear Cuts Through Water
author: Simon Jimenez
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.16
book published: 2022
rating: 5
read at: 2023/06/15
date added: 2024/04/15
shelves: adult, fantasy, filipino, buddy-reads, read-in-2023, lgbtqiap, favorites
review:


“Your lola told stories about the country she had come from; your father told you the stories of himself, his destined for greatness. They are private stories told on stages behind thick curtains, seen only by the teller, and no one else.”

i truly think this is the most impressive book i have ever read. so many risky choices, so many leaps of faith, yet jimenez was able to pull everything together in a way that was able to break and heal my heart in two very different ways. this reading experience is truly unlike anything i've ever had, or even seen, before. But this really is one of the most beautiful, powerful, and just awe inspiring books i have ever had the honor of reading in my whole entire life. (and one i know i will carry with me for the rest of my story.)

this book ended up being very personal to me, and i think me and this author really have a lot in common in our lives, so i was just extra deeply impacted by so many passages in this book. because of this, i don’t want to be too personal in this review, but if we have similar book tastes - pick this book up. if you want a story that you've never read before, in a story that is equal parts beautiful in its own way - pick this book up. if you want a unique reading experience, one you've never seen before in the book world, that is also so expertly crafted - pick this book up. if you want a book that is a love letter to storytelling, and family, and honoring your ancestors - pick this book up. if you want to see inside my heart a little bit - pick this up.

from dedication, to acknowledgments, this was utter perfection. i simply do not have good enough words for what jimenez created here, but i truly will follow his art for the rest of my life. i am so thankful this book exists and i can’t wait to cry over everything all over again when my lola reads it.

trigger + content warnings: violence, gore, death, torture, grief depiction, depression depiction, loss of a loved one, mentions of loss of children, captivity, vomit, talk of defecation, ableist language (negative light), homophobia in past, blood, animal deaths, mentions of suicide, suicide ideations, intrusive thoughts, war themes, colonization, fire, cannibalism, captivity

♡ buddy read with May!
The Vanished Birds ★★★★★

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]]>
<![CDATA[The Six Deaths of the Saint (Into Shadow, #3)]]> 62991463
Always mindful of the debt she owes, the girl finds her worth as a weapon in the hand of the Prince. Her victories make him a king, then an emperor. The bards sing her name and her enemies fear it. But the war never ends and the cost keeps rising—how many times will she repeat her own story?]]>
31 Alix E. Harrow 166250957X Melanie 5 the collection on goodreads

What the Dead Know ★★★

“He kissed the center of each of your palms, precisely where the priest said the Savior suffered the nails to be driven.”

in the last 24 hours, i have heard nothing but people screaming their love for this on social media… even including kpop social media circles! it has been a very long time since i have seen a story spread so quickly, with such high praise, via word of mouth before. so i knew i had to pick it up and see if these thirty pages were going to be literary life changing, and… you all were very right. this really is a heartfelt masterpiece.

i feel like i keep saying this in my mini reviews lately, but i do believe it would be best to go into this not knowing anything, because i really believe this helped my enjoyment of this short story. i do have some trigger and content warnings down below if you want/need them, but besides those - i highly recommend just picking this book up without looking at reviews until after you finish!

this is a very beautiful and emotion evoking story about a girl trying to feel needed, to feel seen, to feel love, to feel like she is not nothing, to feel anything that is real. but love can be exceptionally hard, especially when you enter into this world not knowing what love is. while also slowly figuring out what you will do in the name of it, mixed with the overwhelming feelings we all have of wanting to leave something behind, but to also belong so desperately in the time we are presently here.

but we are more than being tools for other people, but especially for their cruelty and destruction. and when we are truly loved and truly seen… that’s really the most powerful magic of all stories. we can be the saints of so many things, if we only allow ourselves to be.

“I wonder what the songs will say about the Devil now that she is covered in the blood of her own God.”

the writing is perfect, and these thirty pages of heartfelt pain and love will truly leave you feeling dizzy in the best way possible. this is a perfect example of why i love short fiction and how it can be so very powerful and inspiring.

“And you understood, finally, that there had never truly been a she or a you but only a terrible, lonely I.”

content + trigger warnings: war, battle, violence, a lot of blood depiction, gore, nightmares, codependency depiction, exploitation depiction, sickness/child sickness, medical things, death, child death, drowning, + suicide.

| | | | | ]]>
4.32 2022 The Six Deaths of the Saint (Into Shadow, #3)
author: Alix E. Harrow
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.32
book published: 2022
rating: 5
read at: 2023/01/16
date added: 2024/04/14
shelves: read-in-2023, adult, fantasy, short-stories
review:

the collection on goodreads

What the Dead Know ★★★

“He kissed the center of each of your palms, precisely where the priest said the Savior suffered the nails to be driven.”

in the last 24 hours, i have heard nothing but people screaming their love for this on social media… even including kpop social media circles! it has been a very long time since i have seen a story spread so quickly, with such high praise, via word of mouth before. so i knew i had to pick it up and see if these thirty pages were going to be literary life changing, and… you all were very right. this really is a heartfelt masterpiece.

i feel like i keep saying this in my mini reviews lately, but i do believe it would be best to go into this not knowing anything, because i really believe this helped my enjoyment of this short story. i do have some trigger and content warnings down below if you want/need them, but besides those - i highly recommend just picking this book up without looking at reviews until after you finish!

this is a very beautiful and emotion evoking story about a girl trying to feel needed, to feel seen, to feel love, to feel like she is not nothing, to feel anything that is real. but love can be exceptionally hard, especially when you enter into this world not knowing what love is. while also slowly figuring out what you will do in the name of it, mixed with the overwhelming feelings we all have of wanting to leave something behind, but to also belong so desperately in the time we are presently here.

but we are more than being tools for other people, but especially for their cruelty and destruction. and when we are truly loved and truly seen… that’s really the most powerful magic of all stories. we can be the saints of so many things, if we only allow ourselves to be.

“I wonder what the songs will say about the Devil now that she is covered in the blood of her own God.”

the writing is perfect, and these thirty pages of heartfelt pain and love will truly leave you feeling dizzy in the best way possible. this is a perfect example of why i love short fiction and how it can be so very powerful and inspiring.

“And you understood, finally, that there had never truly been a she or a you but only a terrible, lonely I.”

content + trigger warnings: war, battle, violence, a lot of blood depiction, gore, nightmares, codependency depiction, exploitation depiction, sickness/child sickness, medical things, death, child death, drowning, + suicide.

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2023 on 카지노싸이트 62316199 2023 on 카지노싸이트 should make an interesting and varied catalogue of books to inspire other readers in 2024.

For those of you who don't like to add titles you haven't actually 'read', you can place 2023 on 카지노싸이트 on an 'exclusive' shelf. Exclusive shelves don't have to be listed under 'to read', 'currently reading' or 'read'. To create one, go to 'edit bookshelves' on your 'My Books' page, create a shelf name such as 'review-of-the year' and tick the 'exclusive' box. Your previous and future 'reviews of the year' can be collected together on this dedicated shelf.

Concept created by Fionnuala Lirsdottir.
Description: Fionnuala Lirsdottir
Cover art: Paul Cézanne, Bibémus Quarry, c.1895
Cover choice and graphics by Jayson]]>
Various Melanie 0 read-in-2023 blog posts that encompass my 2023 reading:







reading statistics + graphs:
()








my favorite book of 2023:

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez

my 5 favorite 2023 publications:

Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree
The Will of the Many (Hierarchy, #1) by James Islington
He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanderson
Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson

my 5 favorite non 2023 publications:

Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher
Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler
The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez
What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo
Honey & Spice by Bolu Babalola

2023 reading projects:


The Stolen Heir by Holly Black ★★★★★
The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi ★★★★
She Is a Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran ★★★
A House With Good Bones by T. Kingfisher ★★
Happy Place by Emily Henry ★★★
Yellowface by R.F. Kuang ★★★★★
Witch King by Martha Wells ★★★
He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan ★★★★★
Mammoths at the Gates by Nghi Vo ★★★★
Sword Catcher by Cassandra Clare ★★

brandon sanderson's secret project books:
Tress of the Emerald Sea ★★★★★
The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England ★★
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter ★★★★★
The Sunlit Man ★★★★

bonus:

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2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015]]>
4.10 2023 2023 on 카지노싸이트
author: Various
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.10
book published: 2023
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2024/03/16
shelves: read-in-2023
review:
blog posts that encompass my 2023 reading:







reading statistics + graphs:
()








my favorite book of 2023:

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez

my 5 favorite 2023 publications:

Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree
The Will of the Many (Hierarchy, #1) by James Islington
He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanderson
Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson

my 5 favorite non 2023 publications:

Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher
Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler
The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez
What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo
Honey & Spice by Bolu Babalola

2023 reading projects:


The Stolen Heir by Holly Black ★★★★★
The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi ★★★★
She Is a Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran ★★★
A House With Good Bones by T. Kingfisher ★★
Happy Place by Emily Henry ★★★
Yellowface by R.F. Kuang ★★★★★
Witch King by Martha Wells ★★★
He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan ★★★★★
Mammoths at the Gates by Nghi Vo ★★★★
Sword Catcher by Cassandra Clare ★★

brandon sanderson's secret project books:
Tress of the Emerald Sea ★★★★★
The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England ★★
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter ★★★★★
The Sunlit Man ★★★★

bonus:

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2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015
]]>
<![CDATA[The Stolen Heir (The Stolen Heir Duology #1)]]> 61198118 Return to the opulent world of Elfhame, filled with intrigue, betrayal, and dangerous desires, with this first book of a captivating new duology from the #1 New York Times bestselling author Holly Black. 

A runaway queen. A reluctant prince. And a quest that may destroy them both.
 
Eight years have passed since the Battle of the Serpent. But in the icy north, Lady Nore of the Court of Teeth has reclaimed the Ice Needle Citadel. There, she is using an ancient relic to create monsters of stick and snow who will do her bidding and exact her revenge.
 
Suren, child queen of the Court of Teeth, and the one person with power over her mother, fled to the human world. There, she lives feral in the woods. Lonely, and still haunted by the merciless torments she endured in the Court of Teeth, she bides her time by releasing mortals from foolish bargains. She believes herself forgotten until the storm hag, Bogdana chases her through the night streets. Suren is saved by none other than Prince Oak, heir to Elfhame, to whom she was once promised in marriage and who she has resented for years. 
 
Now seventeen, Oak is charming, beautiful, and manipulative. He’s on a mission that will lead him into the north, and he wants Suren’s help. But if she agrees, it will mean guarding her heart against the boy she once knew and a prince she cannot trust, as well as confronting all the horrors she thought she left behind.
 ]]>
11 Holly Black 1549135031 Melanie 4
“Your sister may have inherited your father’s gift for strategy, but you're the one who got his bloodlust.”

i loved this, it was perfect /for me/, but i still enjoyed the cruel prince a lot more (and jude + cardan a lot more). i also feel like some readers might not love that this is a quest storyline so they are constantly traveling throughout this, but that is also something i really enjoy in stories - so i feel extra biased. holly was really giving the creepy and dark fae side with this one and now i am forever screaming at the last scene.... well, until i get book two!

trigger + content warnings: kidnapping, parental abuse, physical abuse, torture, abandonment, gore, violence, drugging, vomiting, captivity, murder, blood depictions, self harm to get blood for magic, mention of animal death, suicide mention in past, mention of death in childbirth, ptsd depictions, and a few scenes with bugs/insects/spiders.

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4.03 2023 The Stolen Heir (The Stolen Heir Duology #1)
author: Holly Black
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.03
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/01/05
date added: 2024/03/08
shelves: fantasy, young-adult, fae, read-in-2023, signed
review:
“Your sister may have inherited your father’s gift for strategy, but you're the one who got his bloodlust.”

i loved this, it was perfect /for me/, but i still enjoyed the cruel prince a lot more (and jude + cardan a lot more). i also feel like some readers might not love that this is a quest storyline so they are constantly traveling throughout this, but that is also something i really enjoy in stories - so i feel extra biased. holly was really giving the creepy and dark fae side with this one and now i am forever screaming at the last scene.... well, until i get book two!

trigger + content warnings: kidnapping, parental abuse, physical abuse, torture, abandonment, gore, violence, drugging, vomiting, captivity, murder, blood depictions, self harm to get blood for magic, mention of animal death, suicide mention in past, mention of death in childbirth, ptsd depictions, and a few scenes with bugs/insects/spiders.

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<![CDATA[A Curse for True Love (Once Upon a Broken Heart, #3)]]> 62816044 Nous avons tous deux cœurs : un pour vivre et un pour aimer.

Évangéline Fox a toujours cru au grand amour et aux fins heureuses. Et elle semble les avoir enfin trouvés puisque la jeune fille est désormais mariée à un beau prince attentionné et vit dans un somptueux château.


Toutefois, elle n'a aucune idée du prix qui a été payé pour qu'elle puisse vivre ce conte de fées enchanté. Son époux, lui, est bien déterminé à la maintenir dans l'ignorance afin qu'elle demeure à ses côtés pour l'éternité.


Mais un beau jeune homme aux cheveux dorés et aux yeux bleus ne cesse de croiser la route de la princesse et de raviver ses souvenirs perdus. L'histoire d'Évangéline se retrouve de nouveau jonchée d'affrontements, de malédictions et de coeurs brisés... et embaumée d'une enivrante fragrance de pomme.



Traduit de l'anglais par Patrick Imbert
]]>
386 Stephanie Garber 1250851203 Melanie 2 Once Upon a Broken Heart ★★★★
2.) The Ballad of Never After ★★★★

“It's you. It will always be you, until the end of time.”

man oh man, maybe stephanie garber just can’t stick the landing of her series because this is exactly what happened to me with caraval trilogy. why did we get multiple povs all of the sudden? and one pov that felt so completely not needed! ahhhh, i still love evangeline and jacks but i just can’t help but feel so disappointed. and i will still read whatever this author creates next because i love her world, i love how she writes whimsy, i love her purple prose, but i think i really need to adjust my expectations for the last book. this last installment truly just felt rushed and messy. the build up of angst and suspense (and the cliffhanger from heck) from the previous books, to just everything thrown at us in this book and ending it with a very lackluster conclusion (and feelings).

trigger + content warnings: loss of a parent in past, loss of a loved one in past, extreme magical manipulation, gaslighting, death, murder, violence, gore, a lot of blood imagery, self harm to get blood for magic, brief moment of suicidal ideation, drugging, and a brief moment of drowning.

| | | | |

1.) Caraval ★★★★
2.) Legendary ★★★★
3.) Finale ★★]]>
4.15 2023 A Curse for True Love (Once Upon a Broken Heart, #3)
author: Stephanie Garber
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.15
book published: 2023
rating: 2
read at: 2023/10/28
date added: 2024/02/29
shelves: young-adult, vampires, romance, fantasy, magic, read-in-2023
review:
1.) Once Upon a Broken Heart ★★★★
2.) The Ballad of Never After ★★★★

“It's you. It will always be you, until the end of time.”

man oh man, maybe stephanie garber just can’t stick the landing of her series because this is exactly what happened to me with caraval trilogy. why did we get multiple povs all of the sudden? and one pov that felt so completely not needed! ahhhh, i still love evangeline and jacks but i just can’t help but feel so disappointed. and i will still read whatever this author creates next because i love her world, i love how she writes whimsy, i love her purple prose, but i think i really need to adjust my expectations for the last book. this last installment truly just felt rushed and messy. the build up of angst and suspense (and the cliffhanger from heck) from the previous books, to just everything thrown at us in this book and ending it with a very lackluster conclusion (and feelings).

trigger + content warnings: loss of a parent in past, loss of a loved one in past, extreme magical manipulation, gaslighting, death, murder, violence, gore, a lot of blood imagery, self harm to get blood for magic, brief moment of suicidal ideation, drugging, and a brief moment of drowning.

| | | | |

1.) Caraval ★★★★
2.) Legendary ★★★★
3.) Finale ★★
]]>
<![CDATA[Parable of the Sower (Earthseed, #1)]]> 53838407 Parable of the Sower is the Butlerian odyssey of one woman who is twice as feeling in a world that has become doubly dehumanized. The time is 2025. The place is California, where small walled communities must protect themselves from hordes of desperate scavengers and roaming bands of people addicted to a drug that activates an orgasmic desire to burn, rape, and murder. When one small community is overrun, Lauren Olamina, an 18 year old black woman with the hereditary train of “hyperempathy”—which causes her to feel others’ pain as her own—sets off on foot along the dangerous coastal highways, moving north into the unknown.]]> 336 Octavia E. Butler 1609807197 Melanie 5
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4.32 1993 Parable of the Sower (Earthseed, #1)
author: Octavia E. Butler
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.32
book published: 1993
rating: 5
read at: 2023/08/05
date added: 2024/02/18
shelves: dark, dystopian, read-in-2023, sci-fi
review:
i really couldn't stop reading this, and the book has really impacted with me. it feels wrong to say i loved this, but i did. this is a very dark and bleak story, but it is also filled with connection and hope. once in a lifetime story, without question, and i can't wait to read the next book in this series. but please use caution and look up tw/cw (or just know... every tw/cw you can imagine is in this book)

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<![CDATA[He Who Drowned the World (The Radiant Emperor, #2)]]> 63132362
Zhu Yuanzhang, the Radiant King, is riding high after her victory that tore southern China from its Mongol masters. Now she burns with a new desire: to seize the throne and crown herself emperor.

But Zhu isn’t the only one with imperial ambitions. Her neighbor in the south, the courtesan Madam Zhang, wants the throne for her husband―and she’s strong enough to wipe Zhu off the map. To stay in the game, Zhu will have to gamble everything on a risky alliance with an old enemy: the talented but unstable eunuch general Ouyang, who has already sacrificed everything for a chance at revenge on his father’s killer, the Great Khan.

Unbeknownst to the southerners, a new contender is even closer to the throne. The scorned scholar Wang Baoxiang has maneuvered his way into the capital, and his lethal court games threaten to bring the empire to its knees. For Baoxiang also desires revenge: to become the most degenerate Great Khan in history―and in so doing, make a mockery of every value his Mongol warrior family loved more than him.

All the contenders are determined to do whatever it takes to win. But when desire is the size of the world, the price could be too much for even the most ruthless heart to bear…]]>
486 Shelley Parker-Chan 1250621836 Melanie 5
ARC provided by Tor! (thank you so very much!)

She Who Became the Sun ★★★★★

favorite 2023 publication <3 truly this duology is everything to me

trigger and content warnings: war, colonization, grief, death, murder, self harm, homophobia, f slur, vomit, torture, slavery, fire, captivity, blood, bullying, sexual assault - grey area, sexual abuse, drowning, claustrophobia, infidelity, feet binding, needles, ptsd, harm to children, kidnapping, child death, brief animal abuse mention, animal cruelty - wing clipping, poisoning, forced abortion, suicide mention

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4.22 2023 He Who Drowned the World (The Radiant Emperor, #2)
author: Shelley Parker-Chan
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.22
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/08/27
date added: 2024/02/18
shelves: arc, adult, historical, lgbtqiap, ghosts, read-in-2023
review:

ARC provided by Tor! (thank you so very much!)

She Who Became the Sun ★★★★★

favorite 2023 publication <3 truly this duology is everything to me

trigger and content warnings: war, colonization, grief, death, murder, self harm, homophobia, f slur, vomit, torture, slavery, fire, captivity, blood, bullying, sexual assault - grey area, sexual abuse, drowning, claustrophobia, infidelity, feet binding, needles, ptsd, harm to children, kidnapping, child death, brief animal abuse mention, animal cruelty - wing clipping, poisoning, forced abortion, suicide mention

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Yellowface 62047984
So what if June edits Athena’s novel and sends it to her agent as her own work? So what if she lets her new publisher rebrand her as Juniper Song—complete with an ambiguously ethnic author photo? This piece of history deserve to be told, whoever the teller. That is what June believes, and The New York Times bestseller list agrees.

But June cannot escape Athena’s shadow, and emerging evidence threatens her stolen success. As she races to protect her secret she discovers exactly how far she will go to keep what she thinks she deserves.]]>
319 R.F. Kuang 000853277X Melanie 5
“Athena, the dead muse. And I, the grieving friend, haunted by her spirit, unable to write without invoking her voice. See, who ever said I wasn't a good storyteller?”

rf kuang really is just a once in a lifetime writer for me. what she is doing in publishing is unmatched. i hope a lot of people sit with this satire book, and the uncomfortability that comes with it. yes, this book talks about racism and prejudices in publishing, but also about the way people act while consuming books that are not perfectly catered to them. the absurd expectations the world always places on creators of color, and the more absurd chances the world gives everyone else.

many people have said this book is very easily consumable, to the point that you will not want to put it down. and that is so very true (even though it’s also not lost on me how everyone can give five stars for that feeling alone to other works of fiction, but with this one… people need to critique it because it reads “self insert”)! but it is a deeply unsettling read, being in the head of someone who justifies these evil acts and still expects (and receives) sympathy and compassion. seeing june cut up athena's work and make it more easily palatable… it made me want to physically throw up. and, again, as hard of a reading experience as this was, it was a deeply cathartic reading experience too. because people in the world are really like this, really profit from things like this, really get likes and retweets and followers off things like this. they get to close their phone and go on with their lives. they get to always start a new story with their voice being heard.

in conclusion ]]>
3.69 2023 Yellowface
author: R.F. Kuang
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.69
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/07/23
date added: 2024/02/15
shelves: read-in-2023, signed, adult, arc, contemporary
review:
“Athena, the dead muse. And I, the grieving friend, haunted by her spirit, unable to write without invoking her voice. See, who ever said I wasn't a good storyteller?”

rf kuang really is just a once in a lifetime writer for me. what she is doing in publishing is unmatched. i hope a lot of people sit with this satire book, and the uncomfortability that comes with it. yes, this book talks about racism and prejudices in publishing, but also about the way people act while consuming books that are not perfectly catered to them. the absurd expectations the world always places on creators of color, and the more absurd chances the world gives everyone else.

many people have said this book is very easily consumable, to the point that you will not want to put it down. and that is so very true (even though it’s also not lost on me how everyone can give five stars for that feeling alone to other works of fiction, but with this one… people need to critique it because it reads “self insert”)! but it is a deeply unsettling read, being in the head of someone who justifies these evil acts and still expects (and receives) sympathy and compassion. seeing june cut up athena's work and make it more easily palatable… it made me want to physically throw up. and, again, as hard of a reading experience as this was, it was a deeply cathartic reading experience too. because people in the world are really like this, really profit from things like this, really get likes and retweets and followers off things like this. they get to close their phone and go on with their lives. they get to always start a new story with their voice being heard.

in conclusion
]]>
<![CDATA[Sword Catcher (The Chronicles of Castellane, #1)]]> 36679274
Kel is an orphan, stolen from the life he knew to become the Sword Catcher—the body double of a royal heir, Prince Conor Aurelian. He has been raised alongside the prince, trained in every aspect of combat and statecraft. He and Conor are as close as brothers, but Kel knows that his destiny is to die for Conor. No other future is possible.

Lin Caster is one of the Ashkar, a small community whose members still possess magical abilities. By law, they must live behind walls within the city, but Lin, a physician, ventures out to tend to the sick and dying of Castellane. Despite her skills, she cannot heal her best friend without access to forbidden knowledge.

After a failed assassination attempt brings Lin and Kel together, they are drawn into the web of the mysterious Ragpicker King, the criminal ruler of Castellane’s underworld. He offers them each what they want most; but as they descend into his world of intrigue and shadow, they discover a conspiracy of corruption that reaches from the darkest gutters of Castellane to the highest tower of its palaces.

As long-kept secrets begin to unravel, they must ask themselves: Is knowledge worth the price of betrayal? Can forbidden love bring down a kingdom? And will their discoveries plunge their nation into war—and the world into chaos?]]>
624 Cassandra Clare 0525619992 Melanie 2
this first book really focused on two characters. 1) kel, who was an orphan intrigued by the ragpicker king at a young age, but was taken from the orphanage by the king to train and become a look alike for the crown prince, conor. 2.) lin, another orphan, even though her grandfather is still in her life, who is a doctor trying to save her sister’s life, and also realizing that she has magical healing abilities that her people have been ostracized for.

what I really will give cassie clare credit for is that this really felt like an adult fantasy, that was very different than the shadowhunter world, to me. again, i don’t mean this as disrespectful to many authors, but so much of the time when authors have built an audience with ya, and then they choose to write adult, it never really feels like it to me. but this really and truly did, while also feeling like something completely different.

sadly, like with all of cassie’s books lately for me, this book felt too long and not edited enough. I really would have enjoyed this more if it wasn’t so long and the story so prolonged. But, like with all of cassie's books, always for me, i loved these characters and being inside their heads. kel, conor, lin - i love them, i am very endeared by them, and i am ultimately rooting for them. Also another constant cassie positive is that so much of this cast is casually queer, both in sexuality and gender, and we love to see it. i also would go as far as to say kel is pan, which we extra love to see!

george rr martin blurbed this and went on tour with cassie and i feel like, upon finishing this book, i can really see why. this actually did feel like ASOIAF to me, maybe not as good of a version, but it really felt like it, especially with how this first book ends. and just starting to see all these different kingdoms, and people in very different positions of power, and learning their motives from the past and for the future. this book does have a lot of political intrigue, too, which is something i do really like in my fantasy, and probably the reason i will pick up book two despite not loving this one as much as i had hoped i would.

trigger + content warnings: depression, vomit, illness of a sibling/friend, death of a child, torture, murder, loss of parents in past, blood, racism (negative light), misogyny (negative light), kidnapping, drugging, lots of talk of medical and health conditions, brief talk of death during childbirth, emergency surgery, alcohol and drug use, poisoning, maybe suicide intent, talk of suicide in past, talk of rape, plague mention

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3.80 2023 Sword Catcher (The Chronicles of Castellane, #1)
author: Cassandra Clare
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.80
book published: 2023
rating: 2
read at: 2023/12/04
date added: 2024/01/04
shelves: adult, read-in-2023, magic, fantasy, lgbtqiap
review:
i feel very middle of the road with this one. i am not one who ever feels like they need to do half star ratings, but this book truly made me feel differently because this is honestly a 2.5, right in the middle, for me. i didn’t love this, but i was intrigued enough to most likely continue on with the second.

this first book really focused on two characters. 1) kel, who was an orphan intrigued by the ragpicker king at a young age, but was taken from the orphanage by the king to train and become a look alike for the crown prince, conor. 2.) lin, another orphan, even though her grandfather is still in her life, who is a doctor trying to save her sister’s life, and also realizing that she has magical healing abilities that her people have been ostracized for.

what I really will give cassie clare credit for is that this really felt like an adult fantasy, that was very different than the shadowhunter world, to me. again, i don’t mean this as disrespectful to many authors, but so much of the time when authors have built an audience with ya, and then they choose to write adult, it never really feels like it to me. but this really and truly did, while also feeling like something completely different.

sadly, like with all of cassie’s books lately for me, this book felt too long and not edited enough. I really would have enjoyed this more if it wasn’t so long and the story so prolonged. But, like with all of cassie's books, always for me, i loved these characters and being inside their heads. kel, conor, lin - i love them, i am very endeared by them, and i am ultimately rooting for them. Also another constant cassie positive is that so much of this cast is casually queer, both in sexuality and gender, and we love to see it. i also would go as far as to say kel is pan, which we extra love to see!

george rr martin blurbed this and went on tour with cassie and i feel like, upon finishing this book, i can really see why. this actually did feel like ASOIAF to me, maybe not as good of a version, but it really felt like it, especially with how this first book ends. and just starting to see all these different kingdoms, and people in very different positions of power, and learning their motives from the past and for the future. this book does have a lot of political intrigue, too, which is something i do really like in my fantasy, and probably the reason i will pick up book two despite not loving this one as much as i had hoped i would.

trigger + content warnings: depression, vomit, illness of a sibling/friend, death of a child, torture, murder, loss of parents in past, blood, racism (negative light), misogyny (negative light), kidnapping, drugging, lots of talk of medical and health conditions, brief talk of death during childbirth, emergency surgery, alcohol and drug use, poisoning, maybe suicide intent, talk of suicide in past, talk of rape, plague mention

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<![CDATA[A Court of Frost and Starlight (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #3.5)]]> 36156268
Feyre, Rhysand, and their friends are still busy rebuilding the Night Court and the vastly altered world beyond, recovering from the war that changed everything. But Winter Solstice is finally approaching, and with it, the joy of a hard-earned reprieve.

Yet even the festive atmosphere can't keep the shadows of the past from looming. As Feyre navigates her first Winter Solstice as High Lady, her concern for those dearest to her deepens. They have more wounds than she anticipated-scars that will have a far-reaching impact on the future of their court.
Bridging the events of A Court of Wings and Ruin with the later books in the series, A Court of Frost and Starlight explores the far-reaching effects of a devastating war and the fierce love between friends.]]>
272 Sarah J. Maas Melanie 3 A Court of Thorns and Roses ★★★★
2.) A Court of Mist and Fury ★★★
3.) A Court of Wings and Ruin ★★★

[2023 reread] ★★★
i really wanted to reread this this year, because i was reminded that it was set during the winter holiday season, and truly? this was a really nice reread. it does start on the first day of winter, which also happens to be feyre’s birthday! (i had very much forgotten that she was only 21, which did send me into a spiral of my own!) but we get to see her and the inner circle celebrate that and celebrate winter solstice together.

this long novella really is the bridging book to A ​Court of Silver Flames and i actually think it does a very good job prepping what is to come. we even get to see in cassian and nesta pov at the very end, which i had forgotten completely. but ultimately this really is a story about ptsd and grief and how those things look so very different in so many people. People experience things differently, people choose to show others how they are feeling differently, and people heal differently. i actually think this book does a very good job showing that and celebrating that in it’s own respectful way.

i for sure think i appreciated this more the second time around! also, sjm just really knows how to write a cold atmosphere and winter setting, and the timing of this just really made for a good reading experience. i can’t wait to finally finish this series reread, leading up to
House of Flame and Shadow
!

trigger + content warnings: a lot of talk of loss of loved ones in the past, talk of war, talk of murder and death, grief depiction, ptsd depiction, misogyny and sexism, extreme abuse in past / violence against women, talk of menstruation and painful/hard menstrual cycles, gore and violence in past, talk of weight loss, blood, animal death.

[2018 first read] ★★★


“The first snow of winter had begun whipping through Velaris...”



| | | | | ]]>
3.97 2019 A Court of Frost and Starlight (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #3.5)
author: Sarah J. Maas
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.97
book published: 2019
rating: 3
read at: 2023/12/26
date added: 2024/01/03
shelves: fae, fantasy, magic, new-adult, romance, signed, read-in-2018, novellas, steamy-scenes, read-in-2023, holiday
review:
1.) A Court of Thorns and Roses ★★★★
2.) A Court of Mist and Fury ★★★
3.) A Court of Wings and Ruin ★★★

[2023 reread] ★★★
i really wanted to reread this this year, because i was reminded that it was set during the winter holiday season, and truly? this was a really nice reread. it does start on the first day of winter, which also happens to be feyre’s birthday! (i had very much forgotten that she was only 21, which did send me into a spiral of my own!) but we get to see her and the inner circle celebrate that and celebrate winter solstice together.

this long novella really is the bridging book to A ​Court of Silver Flames and i actually think it does a very good job prepping what is to come. we even get to see in cassian and nesta pov at the very end, which i had forgotten completely. but ultimately this really is a story about ptsd and grief and how those things look so very different in so many people. People experience things differently, people choose to show others how they are feeling differently, and people heal differently. i actually think this book does a very good job showing that and celebrating that in it’s own respectful way.

i for sure think i appreciated this more the second time around! also, sjm just really knows how to write a cold atmosphere and winter setting, and the timing of this just really made for a good reading experience. i can’t wait to finally finish this series reread, leading up to
House of Flame and Shadow
!

trigger + content warnings: a lot of talk of loss of loved ones in the past, talk of war, talk of murder and death, grief depiction, ptsd depiction, misogyny and sexism, extreme abuse in past / violence against women, talk of menstruation and painful/hard menstrual cycles, gore and violence in past, talk of weight loss, blood, animal death.

[2018 first read] ★★★


“The first snow of winter had begun whipping through Velaris...”



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<![CDATA[Assassin's Apprentice (Farseer Trilogy, #1)]]> 21956219
Born on the wrong side of the sheets, Fitz, son of Chivalry Farseer, is a royal bastard, cast out into the world, friendless and lonely. Only his magical link with animals - the old art known as the Wit - gives him solace and companionship. But the Wit, if used too often, is a perilous magic, and one abhorred by the nobility.

So when Fitz is finally adopted into the royal household, he must give up his old ways and embrace a new life of weaponry, scribing, courtly manners; and how to kill a man secretly, as he trains to become a royal assassin.]]>
392 Robin Hobb 000756225X Melanie 4 [2023 reread] ★★★★
“Very little worth knowing is taught by fear.”

i absolutely cannot believe that i read this six years ago, but i have decided to start realm of the elderlings series over from the beginning in 2024 (but i wanted a little bit of a jump start leaving 2023)! i still really adored this first installment - my heart breaks for fitz, but my heart is also filled with so much joy from loving him, too.

basically this first book, in a very expansive universe, made up of many series, is all about fitz, who is writing his own story accounting for him becoming (you guessed it) the apprentice of an assassin! his first memory is being six years old and being given away by his maternal grandfather to the palace because his father is a prince of the current ruling king. he is then taken in by a stable master, and he soon learns that he has a bit of magical abilities when it comes to animals. we also get introduced to the fool for the very first time, who doesn’t speak to very many people, but they very much look at fitz and give him advice throughout the story.

but we get to watch fitz grow up through his own words, as he leaves childhood and enters being a young adult, living in a place that constantly reminds him that they believe to be better than him just because of who his mother was. a lot more happens with the royalty in these six dutches too, but this book really focuses on events that really shape fitz for all the books to come.

no one is writing their main characters the way robin hobb does, and it really is an honor to love fitz and see him at the very start of his long adventure(s). i cannot wait to continue this readalong in 2024 and i highly recommend you start this series if you haven’t yet, especially if you like character focused epic fantasy.

trigger + content warnings: abandonment, child abuse, hurt animal, loss of an animal, neglect, domestic abuse mentions, blood, extreme power abuse, physical abuse, torture, mind power invasion magic, alcoholism mentions, violence, gore, death, ableist / dated language referring to people with disabilities, mentions of vomiting.

[2017 first read] ★★★★


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4.18 1995 Assassin's Apprentice (Farseer Trilogy, #1)
author: Robin Hobb
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.18
book published: 1995
rating: 4
read at: 2023/12/30
date added: 2024/01/03
shelves: audiobook, fantasy, read-in-2017, magic, read-in-2023
review:
[2023 reread] ★★★★
“Very little worth knowing is taught by fear.”

i absolutely cannot believe that i read this six years ago, but i have decided to start realm of the elderlings series over from the beginning in 2024 (but i wanted a little bit of a jump start leaving 2023)! i still really adored this first installment - my heart breaks for fitz, but my heart is also filled with so much joy from loving him, too.

basically this first book, in a very expansive universe, made up of many series, is all about fitz, who is writing his own story accounting for him becoming (you guessed it) the apprentice of an assassin! his first memory is being six years old and being given away by his maternal grandfather to the palace because his father is a prince of the current ruling king. he is then taken in by a stable master, and he soon learns that he has a bit of magical abilities when it comes to animals. we also get introduced to the fool for the very first time, who doesn’t speak to very many people, but they very much look at fitz and give him advice throughout the story.

but we get to watch fitz grow up through his own words, as he leaves childhood and enters being a young adult, living in a place that constantly reminds him that they believe to be better than him just because of who his mother was. a lot more happens with the royalty in these six dutches too, but this book really focuses on events that really shape fitz for all the books to come.

no one is writing their main characters the way robin hobb does, and it really is an honor to love fitz and see him at the very start of his long adventure(s). i cannot wait to continue this readalong in 2024 and i highly recommend you start this series if you haven’t yet, especially if you like character focused epic fantasy.

trigger + content warnings: abandonment, child abuse, hurt animal, loss of an animal, neglect, domestic abuse mentions, blood, extreme power abuse, physical abuse, torture, mind power invasion magic, alcoholism mentions, violence, gore, death, ableist / dated language referring to people with disabilities, mentions of vomiting.

[2017 first read] ★★★★


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<![CDATA[Magic Claims (Kate Daniels: Wilmington Years, #2; Kate Daniels, #10.6)]]> 109554429 A new town, new friends, new challenges…. And a new heart-stopping adventure from #1 New York Times bestselling author, Ilona Andrews. Kate, Curran, and Conlan may have left Atlanta for Wilmington, but the usual magic mayhem has also hitched a ride!

Kate and Curran have just settled into their new home and their 'low prolife,' when a local businessman approaches them with an offer they can’t refuse. A mysterious evil has spawned in the nearby forest and is holding a defenseless town hostage. The ‘due date’ is rapidly approaching.

It’s exactly the kind of fight the Lennarts can’t resist, not for the prize the town offers, but for the people who will surely die if they ignore it. If they succeed, they’ll be rescuing an entire community and can build a strong new base for their family and the Wilmington Pack. If they fail...well, fail is a four-letter word.

Nothing comes without a price. Now Kate must decide if she has what it takes to pay it.]]>
240 Ilona Andrews Melanie 3
but in this installment we see them try to help a little house that is trapped in the forest that is part of their property. i personally really enjoyed this one because it ended up having fae as a part of the mystery. the reason i ultimately gave this three stars, despite all this nostalgia praise, is because i don’t know how i feel about conlan being only eight years old and having to do the things he has to do. i understand this is very much a dystopian version of our world, and he is part shapeshifter, but it still makes me feel bad while reading. but i still will carry on with whatever ilona andrews gives us next!

trigger + content warnings: mention of loss of pet in past, death, murder, human sacrifice, mention of cancer, blood, battle, gore, talk of loss of family in past, slavery, animal cruelty, animal death, spore depictions, brief mention of sexual assault and rape in past, self harm to get blood for magic, abuse mentions (both children and the elderly)

| | | | |

1.) Magic Bites ★★★★
2.) Magic Burns ★★★★
3.) Magic Strikes ★★★★★
4.) Magic Bleeds ★★★★★
5.) Magic Slays ★★★★★
6.) Magic Rises ★★★★
7.) Magic Breaks ★★★★
8.) Magic Shifts ★★★★
8.5) Magic Stars ★★★★
9.) Magic Binds ★★★
9.5) Magic Stars ★★★
10.) Magic Triumphs ★★★
10.5) Magic Tides ★★★]]>
4.69 2023 Magic Claims (Kate Daniels: Wilmington Years, #2; Kate Daniels, #10.6)
author: Ilona Andrews
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.69
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/12/15
date added: 2024/01/03
shelves: urban, shifters, read-in-2023, romance, paranormal, vampires, adult, fantasy, magic, fae
review:
i have a very big soft spot for all the characters in this story, and i truly will read anything about kate daniels forever and ever because she really is such a big reason why i love urban fantasy and paranormal romance so much still in 2023. In this somewhat spinoff, we get to see her as a mom, in a new city, and claiming a new town that needs a little more protection currently and for what is to come. ee get to see the state of the pack now that curran and kate have left, we get to see kate find out some new information involving her daughter, julie, and this really is starting to set up for what is to come.

but in this installment we see them try to help a little house that is trapped in the forest that is part of their property. i personally really enjoyed this one because it ended up having fae as a part of the mystery. the reason i ultimately gave this three stars, despite all this nostalgia praise, is because i don’t know how i feel about conlan being only eight years old and having to do the things he has to do. i understand this is very much a dystopian version of our world, and he is part shapeshifter, but it still makes me feel bad while reading. but i still will carry on with whatever ilona andrews gives us next!

trigger + content warnings: mention of loss of pet in past, death, murder, human sacrifice, mention of cancer, blood, battle, gore, talk of loss of family in past, slavery, animal cruelty, animal death, spore depictions, brief mention of sexual assault and rape in past, self harm to get blood for magic, abuse mentions (both children and the elderly)

| | | | |

1.) Magic Bites ★★★★
2.) Magic Burns ★★★★
3.) Magic Strikes ★★★★★
4.) Magic Bleeds ★★★★★
5.) Magic Slays ★★★★★
6.) Magic Rises ★★★★
7.) Magic Breaks ★★★★
8.) Magic Shifts ★★★★
8.5) Magic Stars ★★★★
9.) Magic Binds ★★★
9.5) Magic Stars ★★★
10.) Magic Triumphs ★★★
10.5) Magic Tides ★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[Lovelight Farms (Lovelight, #1)]]> 122753311
A pasture of dead trees. A hostile takeover of the Santa barn by a family of raccoons. And shipments that have mysteriously gone missing. Lovelight Farms is not the magical winter wonderland of Stella Bloom’s dreams.

In an effort to save the Christmas tree farm she’s loved since she was a kid, Stella enters a contest with Instagram-famous influencer Evelyn St. James. With the added publicity and the $100,000 cash prize, Stella might just be able to save the farm from its financial woes. There’s just one problem. To make the farm seem like a romantic destination for the holidays, she lied on her application and said she owns Lovelight Farms with her boyfriend. Only…there is no boyfriend.

Enter best friend Luka Peters. He just stopped by for some hot chocolate and somehow got a farm and a serious girlfriend in the process. But fake dating his best friend might be the best Christmas present he’s ever received.]]>
332 B.K. Borison 0593641124 Melanie 4 lovelight farms was my favorite of them all. but i do want to preface this with the fact that this doesn’t really feel like a winter holiday book, but more of a autumn holiday book! but i still really just fell in love with this story, these people, and this small cozy town.

in this story, we follow stella who has recently purchased a farm and lives in the cottage on the property! she is really struggling financially, and decides to enter a competition held by a very famous social media person, but while she is applying she says that she is in a relationship and they both are renovating this old farm. so when she is picked for the final portion of the contest, where the host will visit the destinations, stella recruits her best friend, luka, to pretend to be her boyfriend.

this was truly the best friends to lovers i have ever read. it was so believable, so beautiful, and was truly a joy to read. Both of these characters always showing up and being there for each other during some of their darkest parts of life to some of the brightest joys of life was just so endearing to read. to see them prioritize their relationship platonically through the years was just very sweet, and i know these are fictional characters, but oh my gosh do i wish them just lifetimes of happiness together.

i really enjoyed this one and i can’t wait to continue on with this series and fall more in love with this community.

trigger + content warnings: storylines surround financial debt, loss of a parent in past, talk of cancer in past, talk of hospital settings in past, childhood abandonment in past, anxiety, grief, panic attacks, ptsd, a harry potter mention, a lot of alcohol consumption, mention of infidelity (not mcs)

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3.73 2021 Lovelight Farms (Lovelight, #1)
author: B.K. Borison
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.73
book published: 2021
rating: 4
read at: 2023/12/14
date added: 2024/01/03
shelves: read-in-2023, romance, contemporary, holiday
review:
for december 2023, i really was trying to embrace my holiday book era! and lovelight farms was my favorite of them all. but i do want to preface this with the fact that this doesn’t really feel like a winter holiday book, but more of a autumn holiday book! but i still really just fell in love with this story, these people, and this small cozy town.

in this story, we follow stella who has recently purchased a farm and lives in the cottage on the property! she is really struggling financially, and decides to enter a competition held by a very famous social media person, but while she is applying she says that she is in a relationship and they both are renovating this old farm. so when she is picked for the final portion of the contest, where the host will visit the destinations, stella recruits her best friend, luka, to pretend to be her boyfriend.

this was truly the best friends to lovers i have ever read. it was so believable, so beautiful, and was truly a joy to read. Both of these characters always showing up and being there for each other during some of their darkest parts of life to some of the brightest joys of life was just so endearing to read. to see them prioritize their relationship platonically through the years was just very sweet, and i know these are fictional characters, but oh my gosh do i wish them just lifetimes of happiness together.

i really enjoyed this one and i can’t wait to continue on with this series and fall more in love with this community.

trigger + content warnings: storylines surround financial debt, loss of a parent in past, talk of cancer in past, talk of hospital settings in past, childhood abandonment in past, anxiety, grief, panic attacks, ptsd, a harry potter mention, a lot of alcohol consumption, mention of infidelity (not mcs)

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<![CDATA[Mislaid in Parts Half-Known (Wayward Children, #9)]]> 57185869 Dinosaurs and portals, and a girl who can find both in the latest book in the Hugo and Nebula Award-Winning series.

Antsy is the latest student to pass through the doors at Eleanor West's School for Wayward Children.

When her fellow students realize that Antsy's talent for finding absolutely anything may extend to doors, she's forced to flee in the company of a small group of friends, looking for a way back to the Shop Where the Lost Things Go to be sure that Vineta and Hudson are keeping their promise.

Along the way, temptations are dangled, decisions are reinforced, and a departure to a world populated by dinosaurs brings untold dangers and one or two other surprises!

A story that reminds us that finding what you want doesn't always mean finding what you need.]]>
4 Seanan McGuire Melanie 3
ARC provided by Tor - thank you so much !!

“The door wasn’t there because you have any obligations left to these people, or this world. It was there because sometimes people can’t let go of who they thought we were, and so they keep trying to tangle us in nets and drag us back. That doesn’t mean we have to go. Or if we do go, that doesn’t mean we have to stay.”

let me start this review with something that is probably going to make you all very happy and then something that might make you all not happy!

the happy: some of this book actually takes place in kade’s portal world (which i know i have been begging for since day one), and it was truly the most amazing glimpse that left the reader wanting so much more.

the unhappy: now… this did not bother me whatsoever, but basically it takes 100 pages until the reader gets to see a dinosaur in this book. and truly? it is a very small glimpse for maybe 20 pages? the cover of this one probably wasn’t the best choice, even though it is very beautiful.

okay let me actually type what this book is about! so i was very surprised when i started this, because it really does pick up right after the events of Lost in the Moment and Found, where we see antsy recounting things to eleanor, before she starts classes at the school. But then we get a six month jump, after the rescue mission of Where the Drowned Girls Go, and we get to see antsy with so many new and old beloved kids at this school. But once some people find out what magic antsy’s nexus has given her, our crew goes on a quest to protect her and the school at all costs.

all wayward children books have a different powerful message inside their amazing stories, and i feel like this installment’s was all about breaking cycles of abuse. from realizing healthy ways to feel safe and heal from abuse that was done to you in the past. to reclaiming a childhood that was taken from you, instead of feeling like you can repress the way the world made you grow up too quickly. to having a responsibility to protect children and the generations to come, and not use your abuse as an excuse to continue the cycles of abuse. And ultimately be able to listen, and grow, and be better, continuously and constantly. and I also think there is an underlying message too of how everyone heals from things differently, and we should allow people to heal and live how they want to live, and how there is no time limit on making different choices - just when you’re reading to make them.

overall, i had a good time with this one, but i didn’t love it as much as some of the other books in this series (especially with Lost in the Moment and Found being a five star read for me). but seeing antsy’s power and some different worlds (some we know, some we know about, some brand new) was so beyond cool. also, i just love sumi so very much.

trigger + content warnings: mentions of loss of parents & loved ones in the past, depression, grief, ptsd, nightmares, abandonment & loneliness, a one sentence brief mention that hints at disordered eating in the past, talk of colorism, mind altering magic, one sentence mention of chemotherapy in past, implied transphobia in past, implied mention of pedophile in past, mention of chronic pain, blood depiction, talk of death and murder, and just a lot of mentions of bad parenting and child abuse.

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1.) Every Heart a Doorway ★★★★★
2.) Down Among the Sticks and Bones ★★★★★
3.) Beneath the Sugar Sky ★★★★
4.) In an Absent Dream ★★★★★
5.) Come Tumbling Down ★★★
6.) Across the Green Grass Fields ★★★★
7.) Where the Drowned Girls Go ★★★
8.) Lost in the Moment and Found ★★★★★]]>
4.07 2024 Mislaid in Parts Half-Known (Wayward Children, #9)
author: Seanan McGuire
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.07
book published: 2024
rating: 3
read at: 2023/12/20
date added: 2024/01/03
shelves: read-in-2023, arc, novellas, fantasy, fae
review:

ARC provided by Tor - thank you so much !!

“The door wasn’t there because you have any obligations left to these people, or this world. It was there because sometimes people can’t let go of who they thought we were, and so they keep trying to tangle us in nets and drag us back. That doesn’t mean we have to go. Or if we do go, that doesn’t mean we have to stay.”

let me start this review with something that is probably going to make you all very happy and then something that might make you all not happy!

the happy: some of this book actually takes place in kade’s portal world (which i know i have been begging for since day one), and it was truly the most amazing glimpse that left the reader wanting so much more.

the unhappy: now… this did not bother me whatsoever, but basically it takes 100 pages until the reader gets to see a dinosaur in this book. and truly? it is a very small glimpse for maybe 20 pages? the cover of this one probably wasn’t the best choice, even though it is very beautiful.

okay let me actually type what this book is about! so i was very surprised when i started this, because it really does pick up right after the events of Lost in the Moment and Found, where we see antsy recounting things to eleanor, before she starts classes at the school. But then we get a six month jump, after the rescue mission of Where the Drowned Girls Go, and we get to see antsy with so many new and old beloved kids at this school. But once some people find out what magic antsy’s nexus has given her, our crew goes on a quest to protect her and the school at all costs.

all wayward children books have a different powerful message inside their amazing stories, and i feel like this installment’s was all about breaking cycles of abuse. from realizing healthy ways to feel safe and heal from abuse that was done to you in the past. to reclaiming a childhood that was taken from you, instead of feeling like you can repress the way the world made you grow up too quickly. to having a responsibility to protect children and the generations to come, and not use your abuse as an excuse to continue the cycles of abuse. And ultimately be able to listen, and grow, and be better, continuously and constantly. and I also think there is an underlying message too of how everyone heals from things differently, and we should allow people to heal and live how they want to live, and how there is no time limit on making different choices - just when you’re reading to make them.

overall, i had a good time with this one, but i didn’t love it as much as some of the other books in this series (especially with Lost in the Moment and Found being a five star read for me). but seeing antsy’s power and some different worlds (some we know, some we know about, some brand new) was so beyond cool. also, i just love sumi so very much.

trigger + content warnings: mentions of loss of parents & loved ones in the past, depression, grief, ptsd, nightmares, abandonment & loneliness, a one sentence brief mention that hints at disordered eating in the past, talk of colorism, mind altering magic, one sentence mention of chemotherapy in past, implied transphobia in past, implied mention of pedophile in past, mention of chronic pain, blood depiction, talk of death and murder, and just a lot of mentions of bad parenting and child abuse.

| | | | |

1.) Every Heart a Doorway ★★★★★
2.) Down Among the Sticks and Bones ★★★★★
3.) Beneath the Sugar Sky ★★★★
4.) In an Absent Dream ★★★★★
5.) Come Tumbling Down ★★★
6.) Across the Green Grass Fields ★★★★
7.) Where the Drowned Girls Go ★★★
8.) Lost in the Moment and Found ★★★★★
]]>
Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 5 31140443
Princess Yona lives an ideal life as the only princess of her kingdom. Doted on by her father, the king, and protected by her faithful guard Hak, she cherishes the time spent with the man she loves, Su-won. But everything changes on her 16th birthday when tragedy strikes her family!

An earthquake suddenly hits the Village of the Blue Dragon, and Yona and her friends are trapped! Will Yona manage to escape safely? And will the Blue Dragon join her on her journey? Meanwhile, Gija senses the presence of the Green Dragon!]]>
192 Mizuho Kusanagi 1421587866 Melanie 3 vol. 1 ★★★★
vol. 2 ★★★
vol. 3 ★★★
vol. 4 ★★★★

"I need you to remember that I'm king Il's daughter. Even if everyone else in the kingdom forgets."

in this fifth volume, we see yona and her crew searching for a third dragon. with white and blue at her side, they believe the green dragon will be at the port town. but upon arriving, yona starts to see the world that her father ruled differently. how people and towns were/are suffering under his power and choices to do nothing, and this is this first installment we really get to see yona thinking about the leader she would like to be.

i loved the blue dragon and the power of names, i love hak and yona and every conversation they have, and i just really still love ao with my whole heart. this wasn't my favorite installment, which feels extra wrong to say because this one has some pretty cool pirates, but i am still so happy i decided to start this series in 2023 and i can't wait to keep continuing on!

trigger and content warnings: sickness, assault, unwanted touching with threat of more, human trafficking, slavery, violence.

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4.43 2011 Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 5
author: Mizuho Kusanagi
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.43
book published: 2011
rating: 3
read at: 2023/12/29
date added: 2023/12/29
shelves: manga-and-light-novels, read-in-2023
review:
vol. 1 ★★★★
vol. 2 ★★★
vol. 3 ★★★
vol. 4 ★★★★

"I need you to remember that I'm king Il's daughter. Even if everyone else in the kingdom forgets."

in this fifth volume, we see yona and her crew searching for a third dragon. with white and blue at her side, they believe the green dragon will be at the port town. but upon arriving, yona starts to see the world that her father ruled differently. how people and towns were/are suffering under his power and choices to do nothing, and this is this first installment we really get to see yona thinking about the leader she would like to be.

i loved the blue dragon and the power of names, i love hak and yona and every conversation they have, and i just really still love ao with my whole heart. this wasn't my favorite installment, which feels extra wrong to say because this one has some pretty cool pirates, but i am still so happy i decided to start this series in 2023 and i can't wait to keep continuing on!

trigger and content warnings: sickness, assault, unwanted touching with threat of more, human trafficking, slavery, violence.

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The Writing Retreat 61273863
Alex has all but given up on her dreams of becoming a published author when she receives a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity: attend an exclusive, month-long writing retreat at the estate of feminist horror writer Roza Vallo. Even the knowledge that Wren, her former best friend and current rival, is attending doesn’t dampen her excitement.

But when the attendees arrive, Roza drops a bombshell—they must all complete an entire novel from scratch during the next month, and the author of the best one will receive a life-changing seven-figure publishing deal. Determined to win this seemingly impossible contest, Alex buckles down and tries to ignore the strange happenings at the estate, including Roza’s erratic behavior, Wren’s cruel mind games, and the alleged haunting of the mansion itself. But when one of the writers vanishes during a snowstorm, Alex realizes that something very sinister is afoot. With the clock running out, she must discover the truth—or suffer the same fate.]]>
313 Julia Bartz 1982199458 Melanie 4
but this is a mystery thriller about a (you guessed it) writing retreat, where four people are invited each year to write a story alongside a famous author who has quite the following. yet this year, there are going to be five attendees, one being our main character and one being her ex best friend. the retreat is held at a very isolated victorian mansion in the winter, and our aspiring writers have no connection to the outside world. But when one of the other attendees go missing, the mystery really begins.

everything i typed above is the reason i picked this up, and truly i had such a good time with this. i never wanted to put it down, i loved the setting, and i was really enthralled by our main character and her mind. But this is really a discussion on how society makes women competitive with each other in all aspects of life, but especially with achievements. how the world makes women feel like there isn’t enough room for multiples, you have to be singularly the best. And then when you add everything i said in the first paragraph, about sexuality and trying to figure that out in a world that automatically makes this inhospitable environment… this was a really thought provoking book and i really was very impressed by this debut. I think this is my favorite thriller of the year, and i really recommend it.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, panic attacks, blood, intrusive thoughts, mention of child abuse in past, ptsd, child abandonment + neglect in past, a few mentions of the holocaust and n*zis, domestic abuse in past, brief homophobia in past, talk of suicide, mention of cancer, mention of loss of a loved one, gun violence, gaslighting, manipulation, missing person, unwanted + unknowing filming happening, captivity, talk of aids, racism, sexism, drugging, mention of bullying and harassment in past, and dubious consent in a sexual encounter

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3.41 2023 The Writing Retreat
author: Julia Bartz
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.41
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/12/12
date added: 2023/12/20
shelves: mystery, adult, thriller, read-in-2023, sapphic, lgbtqiap
review:
i feel like… if more people knew that this book is sapphic then more people would pick it up. maybe people don’t want to say that because it has sapphics doing bad things, but there are sapphics doing good things too… so i don’t know. but i was truly bamboozled (in the best way) when i opened this up and realized! and how much of a discussion on comphet, and how that can make figuring out your sexuality harder to figure out/accept, were held within these pages!

but this is a mystery thriller about a (you guessed it) writing retreat, where four people are invited each year to write a story alongside a famous author who has quite the following. yet this year, there are going to be five attendees, one being our main character and one being her ex best friend. the retreat is held at a very isolated victorian mansion in the winter, and our aspiring writers have no connection to the outside world. But when one of the other attendees go missing, the mystery really begins.

everything i typed above is the reason i picked this up, and truly i had such a good time with this. i never wanted to put it down, i loved the setting, and i was really enthralled by our main character and her mind. But this is really a discussion on how society makes women competitive with each other in all aspects of life, but especially with achievements. how the world makes women feel like there isn’t enough room for multiples, you have to be singularly the best. And then when you add everything i said in the first paragraph, about sexuality and trying to figure that out in a world that automatically makes this inhospitable environment… this was a really thought provoking book and i really was very impressed by this debut. I think this is my favorite thriller of the year, and i really recommend it.

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, panic attacks, blood, intrusive thoughts, mention of child abuse in past, ptsd, child abandonment + neglect in past, a few mentions of the holocaust and n*zis, domestic abuse in past, brief homophobia in past, talk of suicide, mention of cancer, mention of loss of a loved one, gun violence, gaslighting, manipulation, missing person, unwanted + unknowing filming happening, captivity, talk of aids, racism, sexism, drugging, mention of bullying and harassment in past, and dubious consent in a sexual encounter

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Saga, Volume 11 29237226
Collects SAGA #61-66]]>
153 Brian K. Vaughan 1534345930 Melanie 4 Vol. 1 ★★★★
Vol. 2 ★★★★
Vol. 3 ★★★★★
Vol. 4 ★★★★
Vol. 5 ★★★★★
Vol. 6 ★★★★★
Vol. 7 ★★★★★
Vol. 8 ★★★★
Vol. 9 ★★★★★
Vol. 10 ★★★

i was a little scared when starting this, because i didn’t love the previous volume, but this one reminded me of all the reasons i love this series so very much. it has been six months since the heartbreaking ending of volume ten, and we see where hazel and her family have been hiding this time. new alliances with so many other beloved side characters are forging, while alana is just doing everything she can to protect her kids.

i really felt like the writing in this volume was just outstanding. so raw, and real, and made me feel so many different emotions. i have said this since the beginning, but hazel narrating this story is truly the reason i believe it is so beloved, but her voice really just made me feel everything in this one. and the back to back story pages were brilliantly, yet heartbreakingly, done. (that “lying” made me immediately weep like no other word could.) but i also loved the last chapter so much too, and i think the creators really left this at a point where volume 12 is really going to start a truly new era for the series.

trigger + content warnings: death, murder, gore, violence, war, loss of loved ones - partner, parent, child (and constantly discussed), grief, slavery mention, animal death (not lying cat), blood depiction, use of the r word (challenged + in a negative light), unhoused displaced family with children.

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4.25 2023 Saga, Volume 11
author: Brian K. Vaughan
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.25
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/12/17
date added: 2023/12/17
shelves: graphic-novels, sci-fi, read-in-2023
review:
Vol. 1 ★★★★
Vol. 2 ★★★★
Vol. 3 ★★★★★
Vol. 4 ★★★★
Vol. 5 ★★★★★
Vol. 6 ★★★★★
Vol. 7 ★★★★★
Vol. 8 ★★★★
Vol. 9 ★★★★★
Vol. 10 ★★★

i was a little scared when starting this, because i didn’t love the previous volume, but this one reminded me of all the reasons i love this series so very much. it has been six months since the heartbreaking ending of volume ten, and we see where hazel and her family have been hiding this time. new alliances with so many other beloved side characters are forging, while alana is just doing everything she can to protect her kids.

i really felt like the writing in this volume was just outstanding. so raw, and real, and made me feel so many different emotions. i have said this since the beginning, but hazel narrating this story is truly the reason i believe it is so beloved, but her voice really just made me feel everything in this one. and the back to back story pages were brilliantly, yet heartbreakingly, done. (that “lying” made me immediately weep like no other word could.) but i also loved the last chapter so much too, and i think the creators really left this at a point where volume 12 is really going to start a truly new era for the series.

trigger + content warnings: death, murder, gore, violence, war, loss of loved ones - partner, parent, child (and constantly discussed), grief, slavery mention, animal death (not lying cat), blood depiction, use of the r word (challenged + in a negative light), unhoused displaced family with children.

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<![CDATA[Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Vol. 1]]> 57147096
Decades after their victory, the funeral of one her friends confronts Frieren with her own near immortality. Frieren sets out to fulfill the last wishes of her comrades and finds herself beginning a new adventure…]]>
188 Kanehito Yamada 1974725766 Melanie 5
this was just really unexpectedly beautiful. i shed many tears flipping through these 170 pages that really celebrated life and love and the importance of honoring and remembering. this story is really gentle and soft while still being something that will be felt so universally hard with all humans. and the art is also so very beautiful and just sets a really perfect tone for the story that this art is telling. i loved this completely and wholeheartedly and i really recommend this one.

trigger + content warnings: loss of loved ones, grief, themes with battle

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4.42 2020 Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Vol. 1
author: Kanehito Yamada
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.42
book published: 2020
rating: 5
read at: 2023/12/16
date added: 2023/12/17
shelves: manga-and-light-novels, read-in-2023
review:
oh, this was an unexpected, yet so heartfelt, story about love and grief and time and immortality. this story starts with four friends, in a ten year adventuring party, coming back home from finally defeating the demon king. yet the reader quickly finds out that this beginning that feels like an ending is really just the start, because our main character, frieren, is an elven mage with a much longer lifespan than her human and dwarf companions. she leaves to follow her love for magic and discovery, only to return back 50 years later and realizes how precious connections in life are. and in this first volume we get to see her take on an apprentice and rediscover the paths she took with her old adventuring party many years ago.

this was just really unexpectedly beautiful. i shed many tears flipping through these 170 pages that really celebrated life and love and the importance of honoring and remembering. this story is really gentle and soft while still being something that will be felt so universally hard with all humans. and the art is also so very beautiful and just sets a really perfect tone for the story that this art is telling. i loved this completely and wholeheartedly and i really recommend this one.

trigger + content warnings: loss of loved ones, grief, themes with battle

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<![CDATA[In These Hallowed Halls: A Dark Academia Anthology]]> 63874788 ENROLLMENT BEGINS NOW

A beguiling, sinister collection of 12 dark academia short stories from masters of the genre, including Olivie Blake, M.L. Rio, Susie Yang and more!

In these stories, dear student, retribution visits a lothario lecturer; the sinister truth is revealed about a missing professor; a forsaken lover uses a séance for revenge; an obsession blooms about a possible illicit affair; two graduates exhume the secrets of a reclusive scholar; horrors are uncovered in an obscure academic department; five hopeful initiates must complete a murderous task and much more!

Featuring brand-new stories from:
Olivie Blake
M.L. Rio
David Bell
Susie Yang
Layne Fargo
J.T. Ellison
James Tate Hill
Kelly Andrew
Phoebe Wynne
Kate Weinberg
Helen Grant
Tori Bovalino

Definition of dark academia in English:
dark academia
1. An internet subculture concerned with higher education, the arts, and literature, or an idealised version thereof with a focus on the pursuit of knowledge and an exploration of death.
2. A set of aesthetic principles. Scholarly with a gothic edge – tweed blazers, vintage cardigans, scuffed loafers, a worn leather satchel full of brooding poetry. Enthusiasts are usually found in museums and darkened libraries.
]]>
340 Marie O'Regan Melanie 3
━━♡ 1000 Ships by Kate Weinberg ★★

an autumn college campus setting, a student with masochistic tendencies and a professor who bullies and belittles his students, and a morning of their relationship before the professor goes to a hearing at the dean's house to try to clear his name from the involvement of a student's death. this was a very atmospheric introduction to what will be a full story soon, and i was very enthralled with what was happening throughout, but upon finishing it just felt bad that our mc didn't care about all the horrible things until something impacted her.

tw/cw: student + college professor relationships, power imbalances, grey area consent, infidelity, mention of suicide, inducing pain on oneself, unwanted pictures being taken, use of the slur for romani people to describe a blouse.

━━♡ Pythia by Olivie Blake ★★★★★

“Watching it was like watching a potion get made, where you could see the sparkle of magic or the ether or whatever it was pouring into the code itself, like honey from an open wound.”

it is not a secret that i love olivie blake and her writing, but this short story was just harrowing and heartfelt perfection to me. it is very timely, with perfect parallels, and some of the most beautiful writing that truly makes me ache with so much feeling. this story is told q&a style through a legal proceeding deposition, with a case involving a super computer and the involvement of deaths on campus. i really loved this one and everything it had to say (so softly yet so loudly).

tw/cw: talk of murder + suicide, power imbalances, a lot of talk of mental health, very brief mentions of a lot of horrible things in this world.

━━♡ Sabbatical by James Tate Hill ★★★

i liked our mc, i really loved his cat, and i was interested in where this story was going! this is about a teacher trying to find out what was happening between a former faculty member, looking for another former faculty member, who was knocking on an empty professor's room next to his! but sadly i just ended up not loving this one as much as i hoped i would, even though i did enjoy the writing and trying to figure out things alongside our mc. i also might be wild for my interpretation of the ending of this one, but i enjoyed my feelings at the ending of this, too!

tw/cw: ableism, fatphobia, talk of forced hospitalization, infidelity, death/murder, joke about gun violence.

━━♡ The Hare and the Hound by Kelly Andrew

i feel like i just really disliked this one from the start >.< basically a kid receives a prophecy when he is young and it has haunted him all the way to university, but also the things he has done in the time between has been haunting him, too. i don't know, i feel bad but the "descent into madness or very obvious supernatural element" really just didn't do it for me here.

tw/cw: car accident in past, death/murder in past, hurt animal, talk of loss of a sibling in past, nightmares, animal death.

━━♡ X House by J.T. Ellison ★★★★

“She doesn’t want to be an anxiety-ridden mouse who’s afraid of the dark and doesn’t like to be alone.”

a very isolated boarding school built a long time ago next to a lake and ocean, with four separate houses, and our story taking place in the house that is separated by a very creepy bridge, switching perspectives between a girl who just lost her roommate and a new professor sent to protect the six remaining girls! the setting and premise were perfection, truly. i was teleported and so intrigued. i am not sure i loved the story completely upon finishing the last page, but it was a solid short story that really kept me captivated while reading.

tw/cw: talk of suicide in past, panic attacks, anxiety, bullying, gun violence, violence, blood, and death

━━♡ The Ravages by Layne Fargo ★★★

women's academy archivist is cataloging letters from sapphics of the past, while her relationship with her own girlfriend just got destroyed in the very library she works at. but unlike the letters from the past - our mc wants revenge in the archives. i really enjoyed this one and i thought the ending was extra cute.

tw/cw: infidelity, an offhanded mention in a sentence of self harm/suicide, seance performance.

━━♡ Four Funerals by David Bell

this just felt so disrespectful because of the subject matter. i also think this was a weird choice for a selection in a dark academia collection. but we see a professor living with survivor's guilt and being immensely disrespectful, while going to four funerals of his four students when the families are expressing they do not want him there.

tw/cw: school shootings, suicide mention, miscarriage in past mention, vomit, loss of sibling in past mention, ptsd, and harassment.

━━♡ The Unknowable Pleasures by Susie Yang ★★

i really don't know how to feel about this one. themes of religious upbringings and current environments and also people sometimes speculating, and obsessing, and even fetishizing, queer relationships. the author doesn't write this story in a positive light, but i just felt really meh about it, and wasn't really interested in it at any point, and felt a little gross while reading it.

tw/cw: blood, sickness, one sentence mention of family history of cancer, student teacher relationships (some kind of power imbalance dynamic going on), and fetishization.

━━♡ Weekend at Bertie’s by M.L. Rio ★★★

so two things first off: 1) this was, hands down, the most anticipated short story of the whole collection and 2.) i have never seen weekend at bernie's! the atmosphere and writing of this was beautiful. i'm just not sure i loved the story itself, but that could be because i am unfamiliar with the original source material. but back to begging for more of whatever ml rio is willing to give us.

tw/cw: a lot of drinking, smoking, death, vomit, mention of surprise pregnancy, unwanted touching, one sentence description involving cancer imagery

━━♡ The Professor of Ontography by Helen Grant ★★★

this one was actually scary (i say, being a baby, but still). the basic premise is a girl in the 80s, doing her undergrad, finds a mysterious hidden locked door with the words "department of ontography", and she becomes obsessed. i feel like the writing was just hard for me to get into, and i kept thinking this story was way older than the 80s. also, why did she wait 30 years to do a thing she knew to do then? overall, i like how this was scary and different for the anthology, but it's not a fave.

tw/cw: drinking, vomit, missing person/loved one, human experimentation, body horror

━━♡ Phobos by Tori Bovalino ★★★

a secret society, one more challenge, one final sacrifice for the order. this short story felt the most dark academia to me. i really ate up the writing and setting and was so very intrigued. sadly, i kind of felt the twist coming, so my enjoyment was dampened, but i still had a good time getting there. but this is the reason why i love short story collections, because now i want to read more from this author.

tw/cw: drinking, assault, murder

━━♡ Playing by Phoebe Wynne ★★

maybe not the best story to end on. i wish this one was swapped with the one before it. we see an organist playing at a church where elderly people keep dying and she suspects there could be more to the story. i just knew what was going on from page two, and it really did hinder my enjoyment, but the miss marple sentence did make me giggle.

tw/cw: blood, death, murder, funeral setting, anxiety

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━━♡ buddy read with evie + penny]]>
3.37 2023 In These Hallowed Halls: A Dark Academia Anthology
author: Marie O'Regan
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.37
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/12/13
date added: 2023/12/13
shelves: adult, anthologies, buddy-reads, read-in-2023, academia
review:
a dark academia anthology? what more could the book community ask for in 2023? i had some hits and a few misses, but overall i did enjoy this collection for the most part. for sure a mixed bag, but that's always to be expected with a short story collection, but i feel like if dark academia appeals to you, you will probably have a decent time with this one! down below is my break downs and feelings regarding every short story in the collection, also with trigger and content warnings i found while reading.

━━♡ 1000 Ships by Kate Weinberg ★★

an autumn college campus setting, a student with masochistic tendencies and a professor who bullies and belittles his students, and a morning of their relationship before the professor goes to a hearing at the dean's house to try to clear his name from the involvement of a student's death. this was a very atmospheric introduction to what will be a full story soon, and i was very enthralled with what was happening throughout, but upon finishing it just felt bad that our mc didn't care about all the horrible things until something impacted her.

tw/cw: student + college professor relationships, power imbalances, grey area consent, infidelity, mention of suicide, inducing pain on oneself, unwanted pictures being taken, use of the slur for romani people to describe a blouse.

━━♡ Pythia by Olivie Blake ★★★★★

“Watching it was like watching a potion get made, where you could see the sparkle of magic or the ether or whatever it was pouring into the code itself, like honey from an open wound.”

it is not a secret that i love olivie blake and her writing, but this short story was just harrowing and heartfelt perfection to me. it is very timely, with perfect parallels, and some of the most beautiful writing that truly makes me ache with so much feeling. this story is told q&a style through a legal proceeding deposition, with a case involving a super computer and the involvement of deaths on campus. i really loved this one and everything it had to say (so softly yet so loudly).

tw/cw: talk of murder + suicide, power imbalances, a lot of talk of mental health, very brief mentions of a lot of horrible things in this world.

━━♡ Sabbatical by James Tate Hill ★★★

i liked our mc, i really loved his cat, and i was interested in where this story was going! this is about a teacher trying to find out what was happening between a former faculty member, looking for another former faculty member, who was knocking on an empty professor's room next to his! but sadly i just ended up not loving this one as much as i hoped i would, even though i did enjoy the writing and trying to figure out things alongside our mc. i also might be wild for my interpretation of the ending of this one, but i enjoyed my feelings at the ending of this, too!

tw/cw: ableism, fatphobia, talk of forced hospitalization, infidelity, death/murder, joke about gun violence.

━━♡ The Hare and the Hound by Kelly Andrew

i feel like i just really disliked this one from the start >.< basically a kid receives a prophecy when he is young and it has haunted him all the way to university, but also the things he has done in the time between has been haunting him, too. i don't know, i feel bad but the "descent into madness or very obvious supernatural element" really just didn't do it for me here.

tw/cw: car accident in past, death/murder in past, hurt animal, talk of loss of a sibling in past, nightmares, animal death.

━━♡ X House by J.T. Ellison ★★★★

“She doesn’t want to be an anxiety-ridden mouse who’s afraid of the dark and doesn’t like to be alone.”

a very isolated boarding school built a long time ago next to a lake and ocean, with four separate houses, and our story taking place in the house that is separated by a very creepy bridge, switching perspectives between a girl who just lost her roommate and a new professor sent to protect the six remaining girls! the setting and premise were perfection, truly. i was teleported and so intrigued. i am not sure i loved the story completely upon finishing the last page, but it was a solid short story that really kept me captivated while reading.

tw/cw: talk of suicide in past, panic attacks, anxiety, bullying, gun violence, violence, blood, and death

━━♡ The Ravages by Layne Fargo ★★★

women's academy archivist is cataloging letters from sapphics of the past, while her relationship with her own girlfriend just got destroyed in the very library she works at. but unlike the letters from the past - our mc wants revenge in the archives. i really enjoyed this one and i thought the ending was extra cute.

tw/cw: infidelity, an offhanded mention in a sentence of self harm/suicide, seance performance.

━━♡ Four Funerals by David Bell

this just felt so disrespectful because of the subject matter. i also think this was a weird choice for a selection in a dark academia collection. but we see a professor living with survivor's guilt and being immensely disrespectful, while going to four funerals of his four students when the families are expressing they do not want him there.

tw/cw: school shootings, suicide mention, miscarriage in past mention, vomit, loss of sibling in past mention, ptsd, and harassment.

━━♡ The Unknowable Pleasures by Susie Yang ★★

i really don't know how to feel about this one. themes of religious upbringings and current environments and also people sometimes speculating, and obsessing, and even fetishizing, queer relationships. the author doesn't write this story in a positive light, but i just felt really meh about it, and wasn't really interested in it at any point, and felt a little gross while reading it.

tw/cw: blood, sickness, one sentence mention of family history of cancer, student teacher relationships (some kind of power imbalance dynamic going on), and fetishization.

━━♡ Weekend at Bertie’s by M.L. Rio ★★★

so two things first off: 1) this was, hands down, the most anticipated short story of the whole collection and 2.) i have never seen weekend at bernie's! the atmosphere and writing of this was beautiful. i'm just not sure i loved the story itself, but that could be because i am unfamiliar with the original source material. but back to begging for more of whatever ml rio is willing to give us.

tw/cw: a lot of drinking, smoking, death, vomit, mention of surprise pregnancy, unwanted touching, one sentence description involving cancer imagery

━━♡ The Professor of Ontography by Helen Grant ★★★

this one was actually scary (i say, being a baby, but still). the basic premise is a girl in the 80s, doing her undergrad, finds a mysterious hidden locked door with the words "department of ontography", and she becomes obsessed. i feel like the writing was just hard for me to get into, and i kept thinking this story was way older than the 80s. also, why did she wait 30 years to do a thing she knew to do then? overall, i like how this was scary and different for the anthology, but it's not a fave.

tw/cw: drinking, vomit, missing person/loved one, human experimentation, body horror

━━♡ Phobos by Tori Bovalino ★★★

a secret society, one more challenge, one final sacrifice for the order. this short story felt the most dark academia to me. i really ate up the writing and setting and was so very intrigued. sadly, i kind of felt the twist coming, so my enjoyment was dampened, but i still had a good time getting there. but this is the reason why i love short story collections, because now i want to read more from this author.

tw/cw: drinking, assault, murder

━━♡ Playing by Phoebe Wynne ★★

maybe not the best story to end on. i wish this one was swapped with the one before it. we see an organist playing at a church where elderly people keep dying and she suspects there could be more to the story. i just knew what was going on from page two, and it really did hinder my enjoyment, but the miss marple sentence did make me giggle.

tw/cw: blood, death, murder, funeral setting, anxiety

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━━♡ buddy read with evie + penny
]]>
<![CDATA[A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #3)]]> 31451174 New York Times bestselling A Court of Thorns and Roses series.

Feyre has returned to the Spring Court, determined to gather information on Tamlin's manoeuvrings and the invading king threatening to bring Prythian to its knees. But to do so she must play a deadly game of deceit – and one slip may spell doom not only for Feyre, but for her world as well.

As war bears down upon them all, Feyre must decide who to trust amongst the dazzling and lethal High Lords – and hunt for allies in unexpected places.

In this thrilling third book in the #1 New York Times bestselling series from Sarah J. Maas, the earth will be painted red as mighty armies grapple for power over the one thing that could destroy them all.]]>
705 Sarah J. Maas 1619634481 Melanie 3 A Court of Thorns and Roses ★★★★
2.) A Court of Mist and Fury ★★★

[2023 reread] ★★★
this has been a journey rereading these books, but i am happy to report back that acowar was even better than i remember. maybe that is because of having read more in this series, finishing throne of glass, and reading the first two books in the crescent city series, but this truly exceeded my expectations.

i loved seeing feyre continue to heal, continue to love, and continue to demand her own agency. I loved seeing the inner circle and easily falling even more in love with them. i am obsessed with the suriel, weaver, and bone carver, even if one of those broke my heart all over again on this reread. i am not sure if this is a spoiler thing to say, but i just have such a bigger curiosity and respect for these old gods… all the old gods.. and i’ll give sjm a lot of credit for the weaving of them into this story. back in the day, i thought the ending with feyre’s dad was foolish and i am here to report that it still feels foolish to me in 2023. and this book is still too long, and should have had 100+ pages edited from it.

overall, i really did have such a fun time with this last book, and it really did have so much in it that i didn’t appreciate or pick up on before. make me remember the “extra” girl feyre saves at the war camp when rescuing her sister and my mind is forever blown (and so curious) about that now.

trigger + content warnings: war, death, murder, violence, gore, blood, incest implied, ptsd, nightmares, mentions of abuse in past, abuse in present, torture, mind manipulation magic, assault, drugging, depression, implication of sexual assault, physical assault, vomit, talk of sexual assault in past, kidnapping, captivity, verbal abuse, talk of infidelity in the past (not mcs), loss of a partner, loss of a parent, questionable talk of sex work.

[2017 first read] ★★★




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4.39 2017 A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #3)
author: Sarah J. Maas
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.39
book published: 2017
rating: 3
read at: 2023/10/24
date added: 2023/12/09
shelves: fae, fantasy, new-adult, read-in-2017, retellings, romance, signed, magic, read-in-2023
review:
1.) A Court of Thorns and Roses ★★★★
2.) A Court of Mist and Fury ★★★

[2023 reread] ★★★
this has been a journey rereading these books, but i am happy to report back that acowar was even better than i remember. maybe that is because of having read more in this series, finishing throne of glass, and reading the first two books in the crescent city series, but this truly exceeded my expectations.

i loved seeing feyre continue to heal, continue to love, and continue to demand her own agency. I loved seeing the inner circle and easily falling even more in love with them. i am obsessed with the suriel, weaver, and bone carver, even if one of those broke my heart all over again on this reread. i am not sure if this is a spoiler thing to say, but i just have such a bigger curiosity and respect for these old gods… all the old gods.. and i’ll give sjm a lot of credit for the weaving of them into this story. back in the day, i thought the ending with feyre’s dad was foolish and i am here to report that it still feels foolish to me in 2023. and this book is still too long, and should have had 100+ pages edited from it.

overall, i really did have such a fun time with this last book, and it really did have so much in it that i didn’t appreciate or pick up on before. make me remember the “extra” girl feyre saves at the war camp when rescuing her sister and my mind is forever blown (and so curious) about that now.

trigger + content warnings: war, death, murder, violence, gore, blood, incest implied, ptsd, nightmares, mentions of abuse in past, abuse in present, torture, mind manipulation magic, assault, drugging, depression, implication of sexual assault, physical assault, vomit, talk of sexual assault in past, kidnapping, captivity, verbal abuse, talk of infidelity in the past (not mcs), loss of a partner, loss of a parent, questionable talk of sex work.

[2017 first read] ★★★




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Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 4 31140454
Princess Yona lives an ideal life as the only princess of her kingdom. Doted on by her father, the king, and protected by her faithful guard Hak, she cherishes the time spent with the man she loves, Su-won. But everything changes on her 16th birthday when tragedy strikes her family!

While on a quest to find the Four Legendary Dragon Warriors, Yona and her friends meet Gija, the White Dragon. Gija uses his power to detect the other Dragons, but locating the Blue Dragon proves to be more difficult than expected, and the group runs into a string of disasters!]]>
192 Mizuho Kusanagi 1421587858 Melanie 4 vol. 1 ★★★★
vol. 2 ★★★
vol. 3 ★★★

this fourth installment really tugged on my whole heart ;___; i love the blue dragon so much already. in this volume, yona, hak, gija, and yun are travelling to find another dragon. they find a small group of people, living in a cave, where maybe the blue dragon resides. we get to see the backstory, and powers, of him and... ahhh, it was very emotional for me. oh, and i am now also in love with a pet squirrel! i also really loved seeing yona just want to take some agency back for herself, as well. all of her friendships are really so beautiful and so supportive and i love being able to read her story. i truly love these all of these characters so much, and i can't wait to continue on with this series, and meet two more dragons!

trigger and content warnings: a few mentions of bugs, threat of robbing, violence, death, attempted kidnapping, mention of suicide, child abandonment, captivity.

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4.44 2011 Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 4
author: Mizuho Kusanagi
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.44
book published: 2011
rating: 4
read at: 2023/12/09
date added: 2023/12/09
shelves: manga-and-light-novels, read-in-2023
review:
vol. 1 ★★★★
vol. 2 ★★★
vol. 3 ★★★

this fourth installment really tugged on my whole heart ;___; i love the blue dragon so much already. in this volume, yona, hak, gija, and yun are travelling to find another dragon. they find a small group of people, living in a cave, where maybe the blue dragon resides. we get to see the backstory, and powers, of him and... ahhh, it was very emotional for me. oh, and i am now also in love with a pet squirrel! i also really loved seeing yona just want to take some agency back for herself, as well. all of her friendships are really so beautiful and so supportive and i love being able to read her story. i truly love these all of these characters so much, and i can't wait to continue on with this series, and meet two more dragons!

trigger and content warnings: a few mentions of bugs, threat of robbing, violence, death, attempted kidnapping, mention of suicide, child abandonment, captivity.

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Wreck the Halls 75663742 A sexy, hilarious standalone holiday rom-com about the adult children of two former rock stars who team up to convince their estranged mothers to play a Christmas Eve concert…

Melody Gallard may be the daughter of music royalty, but her world is far from glamorous. She spends her days restoring old books and avoiding the limelight (one awkward tabloid photo was enough, thanks). But when a producer offers her a lot of money to reunite her mother’s band on live tv, Mel begins to wonder if it’s time to rattle the cage, shake up her quiet life… and see him again. The only other person who could wrangle the rock and roll divas.

Beat Dawkins, the lead singer’s son, is Melody’s opposite—the camera loves him, he could charm the pants off anyone, and his mom is not a potential cult leader. Still, they might have been best friends if not for the legendary feud that broke up the band. When they met as teenagers, Mel felt an instant spark, but it’s nothing compared to the wild, intense attraction that builds as they embark on a madcap mission to convince their mothers to perform one last show.

While dealing with rock star shenanigans, a 24-hour film crew, brawling Santas, and mobs of adoring fans, Mel starts to step out of her comfort zone. With Beat by her side, cheering her on, she’s never felt so understood. But Christmas Eve is fast approaching, and a decades-old scandal is poised to wreck everything—the Steel Birds reunion, their relationships with their mothers, and their newfound love. ]]>
351 Tessa Bailey 0063308304 Melanie 2
basically, our mcs are connected by their mothers, who used to be in a popular band together. they met once when they were both around 15 and really liked each other, and now, 15 years later, when they are both 30, they are coming together once again because of a reality tv show that wants their moms to get back together at rockefeller center on christmas.

i just… hated all the parents in this book. even the ones that were deemed “the good parents” were still doing really shitty things and lying to their kids. i feel like that ultimately is what ruined the story for me, but also…. i just didn’t really like beat… which i feel bad saying, because i know he was going through some stuff, but his inner and outer monologues were always just so intense and over the top, it really hurt the romance for me.

overall, i only like melody, i didn’t like the romance, i didn’t like the lying/withholding information plots, and even though we got a december countdown - this book didn’t have christmas vibes.

trigger + content warnings: blackmail. anxiety, parental abandonment, emotional abusive parents, paparazzi / media invading spaces, hurtful and abusive media coverage, ptsd, talk of body image, a scene with a cult, a scene with police + a police station, a lot of talk of pregnancy

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3.34 2023 Wreck the Halls
author: Tessa Bailey
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.34
book published: 2023
rating: 2
read at: 2023/12/08
date added: 2023/12/08
shelves: adult, read-in-2023, romance, contemporary, steamy-scenes, holiday
review:
i have loved a lot of tessa bailey in my life, but i think this is probably my least favorite. look, when i saw the mcs were named beat and melody i really should have taken that as a sign to just dnf quietly, but i actually did like the set up and i was intrigued to where the story would go.

basically, our mcs are connected by their mothers, who used to be in a popular band together. they met once when they were both around 15 and really liked each other, and now, 15 years later, when they are both 30, they are coming together once again because of a reality tv show that wants their moms to get back together at rockefeller center on christmas.

i just… hated all the parents in this book. even the ones that were deemed “the good parents” were still doing really shitty things and lying to their kids. i feel like that ultimately is what ruined the story for me, but also…. i just didn’t really like beat… which i feel bad saying, because i know he was going through some stuff, but his inner and outer monologues were always just so intense and over the top, it really hurt the romance for me.

overall, i only like melody, i didn’t like the romance, i didn’t like the lying/withholding information plots, and even though we got a december countdown - this book didn’t have christmas vibes.

trigger + content warnings: blackmail. anxiety, parental abandonment, emotional abusive parents, paparazzi / media invading spaces, hurtful and abusive media coverage, ptsd, talk of body image, a scene with a cult, a scene with police + a police station, a lot of talk of pregnancy

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Midnight Is the Darkest Hour 68054323
Ruth Collier has always felt like an outsider, even as her father rains fire and brimstone from the church pulpit. In Bottom Springs, his word is as good as law.

But there are things the townspeople fear more than God, like the Low Man, a vampiric figure said to kill sinners in their beds on moonless nights.

When a skull is found deep in the swamp, a hunt for the Low Man begins. Suspicion turns to Everett – Ruth's oldest friend, with a dark past. As Ruth and Everett grow closer, Ruth begins to unearth the town's secrets, determined to discover the truth.

But as the line between good and evil grows ever thin, how far will Ruth go to save the person she loves most?]]>
386 Ashley Winstead 1728269962 Melanie 2 ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

i really wanted to read my first ashley winstead because so many of my friends have absolutely loved in my dreams i hold a knife, but i really think i did myself a disservice making this the one i picked up. i don't want to be overly negative, because i do think this book is important for some people who grew up with abuse under the guise of religion, and they were able to find escapism and safety and happiness in literature, like twilight. and i just really don’t want to downplay the importance of that safe place for kids and teens, especially when you can just tell this story feels very personal to the author.

but i think this was just so completely different than what i was anticipating, that it felt like a really big disappointment to me. this felt like a literary romance with some suspenseful elements, not a mystery thriller in the slightest. you will truly know from the first 10% of this book what is going to happen, and the rest is just a lot of twilight comparisons. now, i will also give this book credit because it made me rewatch twilight, and i did miss that blue filter more than i realized. i will also say i liked the very end, which i know will be an unpopular opinion, but it was a definite risk i do not think many authors would take, and i respect that. i will still for sure read in my dreams i hold a knife and report back!

trigger + content warnings: death, murder, violence, blood, cults, religious abuse, talk of suicide, gun violence, animal injury + death, talk of animal sacrifice, extreme child abuse in past, child captivity in past, talk of domestic abuse in past, mention of bullying in past, power imbalances, sexual assault (attempted rape), depression, panic attacks, hospital setting, talk of forced abortion, ableism (always in a negative light), implied pedophilia, implied human trafficking, trauma, grief, death of a mother during child birth in past, alcoholism mentions, drugs, misogyny, fire, snakes

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3.40 2023 Midnight Is the Darkest Hour
author: Ashley Winstead
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.40
book published: 2023
rating: 2
read at: 2023/10/22
date added: 2023/12/07
shelves: arc, thriller, mystery, read-in-2023
review:
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

i really wanted to read my first ashley winstead because so many of my friends have absolutely loved in my dreams i hold a knife, but i really think i did myself a disservice making this the one i picked up. i don't want to be overly negative, because i do think this book is important for some people who grew up with abuse under the guise of religion, and they were able to find escapism and safety and happiness in literature, like twilight. and i just really don’t want to downplay the importance of that safe place for kids and teens, especially when you can just tell this story feels very personal to the author.

but i think this was just so completely different than what i was anticipating, that it felt like a really big disappointment to me. this felt like a literary romance with some suspenseful elements, not a mystery thriller in the slightest. you will truly know from the first 10% of this book what is going to happen, and the rest is just a lot of twilight comparisons. now, i will also give this book credit because it made me rewatch twilight, and i did miss that blue filter more than i realized. i will also say i liked the very end, which i know will be an unpopular opinion, but it was a definite risk i do not think many authors would take, and i respect that. i will still for sure read in my dreams i hold a knife and report back!

trigger + content warnings: death, murder, violence, blood, cults, religious abuse, talk of suicide, gun violence, animal injury + death, talk of animal sacrifice, extreme child abuse in past, child captivity in past, talk of domestic abuse in past, mention of bullying in past, power imbalances, sexual assault (attempted rape), depression, panic attacks, hospital setting, talk of forced abortion, ableism (always in a negative light), implied pedophilia, implied human trafficking, trauma, grief, death of a mother during child birth in past, alcoholism mentions, drugs, misogyny, fire, snakes

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<![CDATA[Mammoths at the Gates (The Singing Hills Cycle, #4)]]> 58007996 The Hugo and Crawford Award-Winning Series!

The wandering Cleric Chih returns home to the Singing Hills Abbey for the first time in almost three years, to be met with both joy and sorrow. Their mentor, Cleric Thien, has died, and rests among the archivists and storytellers of the storied abbey. But not everyone is prepared to leave them to their rest.

Because Cleric Thien was once the patriarch of Coh clan of Northern Bell Pass--and now their granddaughters have arrived on the backs of royal mammoths, demanding their grandfather’s body for burial. Chih must somehow balance honoring their mentor’s chosen life while keeping the sisters from the north from storming the gates and destroying the history the clerics have worked so hard to preserve.

But as Chih and their neixin Almost Brilliant navigate the looming crisis, Myriad Virtues, Cleric Thien’s own beloved hoopoe companion, grieves her loss as only a being with perfect memory can, and her sorrow may be more powerful than anyone could anticipate. . .

The novellas of The Singing Hills Cycle are linked by the cleric Chih, but may be read in any order, with each story serving as an entrypoint.]]>
123 Nghi Vo 1250838002 Melanie 4 thank you so much, tor, for sending me a finished copy!

1.) The Empress of Salt and Fortune ★★★★★
2.) When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain ★★★★★
3.) Into the Riverlands ★★★★

“I would be honored to hear your story [...] Whether it is long or short, broken or whole, sad or joyful or angry or strange, I want to hear”

this series is so important to me and the amount of beauty i am able to find on every one of these pages is just immeasurable. I truly hope we get to see chih traveling and learning stories forever and ever. this fourth installment felt a little extra powerful because we get to see chih make their way back to singing hills abbey after four long years of adventures. and when returning to the monastery, there are two royal mammoths at the gate, with two people chih does not recognize, and the new story (filled with old stories) unfolds.

this really is a tale told in only 100 pages, and is filled with powerful themes of going back home after you’ve been away for a long while, old dreams and old friends, change and the inevitability of it, new generations growing up, the importance of honoring your elders and respecting traditions, being there for your family, and above all else - the importance of memories, story telling, and records of love that are given to you throughout your life.

because truly, futures and dreams can change constantly, sometimes because of you, and sometimes despite you. i really recommend this series with the sum of my heart. lastly - new favorite character unlocked: chiep ]]>
4.21 2023 Mammoths at the Gates (The Singing Hills Cycle, #4)
author: Nghi Vo
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.21
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/08/24
date added: 2023/12/07
shelves: adult, fantasy, lgbtqiap, novellas, arc, read-in-2023
review:
thank you so much, tor, for sending me a finished copy!

1.) The Empress of Salt and Fortune ★★★★★
2.) When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain ★★★★★
3.) Into the Riverlands ★★★★

“I would be honored to hear your story [...] Whether it is long or short, broken or whole, sad or joyful or angry or strange, I want to hear”

this series is so important to me and the amount of beauty i am able to find on every one of these pages is just immeasurable. I truly hope we get to see chih traveling and learning stories forever and ever. this fourth installment felt a little extra powerful because we get to see chih make their way back to singing hills abbey after four long years of adventures. and when returning to the monastery, there are two royal mammoths at the gate, with two people chih does not recognize, and the new story (filled with old stories) unfolds.

this really is a tale told in only 100 pages, and is filled with powerful themes of going back home after you’ve been away for a long while, old dreams and old friends, change and the inevitability of it, new generations growing up, the importance of honoring your elders and respecting traditions, being there for your family, and above all else - the importance of memories, story telling, and records of love that are given to you throughout your life.

because truly, futures and dreams can change constantly, sometimes because of you, and sometimes despite you. i really recommend this series with the sum of my heart. lastly - new favorite character unlocked: chiep
]]>
<![CDATA[Yours Truly (Part of Your World, #2)]]> 61918816 A novel of terrible first impressions, hilarious second chances, and the joy in finding your perfect match.

Dr. Briana Ortiz’s life is seriously flatlining. Her divorce is just about finalized, her brother’s running out of time to find a kidney donor, and that promotion she wants? Oh, that’s probably going to the new man-doctor who’s already registering eighty-friggin’-seven on Briana’s “pain in my ass” scale. But just when all systems are set to hate, Dr. Jacob Maddox completely flips the game . . . by sending Briana a letter.

And it’s a really good letter. Like the kind that proves that Jacob isn’t actually Satan. Worse, he might be this fantastically funny and subversively likeable guy who’s terrible at first impressions. Because suddenly he and Bri are exchanging letters, sharing lunch dates in her “sob closet,” and discussing the merits of freakishly tiny horses. But when Jacob decides to give Briana the best gift imaginable—a kidney for her brother—she wonders just how she can resist this quietly sexy new doctor . . . especially when he calls in a favor she can’t refuse.]]>
416 Abby Jimenez 1538704390 Melanie 4 Part of Your World ★★★★★

i didn’t love this book as much as Part of Your World , but i still really fell so hard for both of these characters. there was just a little too much miscommunication for me upon closing this, but again… i have so many more positive things to say than negative. i highly recommend, but please use caution if you feel yourself dealing with a little more health anxiety than normal (hi, it’s me).

i just really enjoy seeing these people, in their 30s, find love, find happiness, find healing. And the discussion of having healthy pregnancies in your 30s as well! all of these things are so normal, but i feel like society makes them never showcased or celebrated or even normalized, so reading this series is a little bit of a breath of fresh air, truly. (it feels wild saying that, but it’s true)

this book very much also focuses on a character who has a lot of anxiety - and that is also normalized and constantly focused on talking and learning things can exacerbate his anxiety and symptoms, and things that he can use as preventative methods. again, very normal things, but this book just makes them feel extra normal and extra seen, and i just appreciate it so very much (and i know so many other readers do as well)!

trigger + content warnings: hospital settings, a lot of mentions of losing patients, surgery prep discussions, kidney failure, anxiety, ptsd, panic attacks, depression, infidelity in the past, parental abandonment in past, suicide mention in past, mention of loss of a parent in past (one sentence), brief mention of miscarriage in past. (spoiler for plot point in the book) - [spoilers removed]

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The Friend Zone ★★

♡ buddy read with betty jo]]>
4.29 2023 Yours Truly (Part of Your World, #2)
author: Abby Jimenez
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.29
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/11/21
date added: 2023/12/01
shelves: contemporary, read-in-2023, romance, buddy-reads, epistolary
review:
1.) Part of Your World ★★★★★

i didn’t love this book as much as Part of Your World , but i still really fell so hard for both of these characters. there was just a little too much miscommunication for me upon closing this, but again… i have so many more positive things to say than negative. i highly recommend, but please use caution if you feel yourself dealing with a little more health anxiety than normal (hi, it’s me).

i just really enjoy seeing these people, in their 30s, find love, find happiness, find healing. And the discussion of having healthy pregnancies in your 30s as well! all of these things are so normal, but i feel like society makes them never showcased or celebrated or even normalized, so reading this series is a little bit of a breath of fresh air, truly. (it feels wild saying that, but it’s true)

this book very much also focuses on a character who has a lot of anxiety - and that is also normalized and constantly focused on talking and learning things can exacerbate his anxiety and symptoms, and things that he can use as preventative methods. again, very normal things, but this book just makes them feel extra normal and extra seen, and i just appreciate it so very much (and i know so many other readers do as well)!

trigger + content warnings: hospital settings, a lot of mentions of losing patients, surgery prep discussions, kidney failure, anxiety, ptsd, panic attacks, depression, infidelity in the past, parental abandonment in past, suicide mention in past, mention of loss of a parent in past (one sentence), brief mention of miscarriage in past. (spoiler for plot point in the book) - [spoilers removed]

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The Friend Zone ★★

♡ buddy read with betty jo
]]>
Natural Beauty 61420120 Sly, surprising, and razor-sharp, Natural Beauty follows a young musician into an elite, beauty-obsessed world where perfection comes at a staggering cost.

Our narrator produces a sound from the piano no one else at the Conservatory can. She employs a technique she learned from her parents—also talented musicians—who fled China in the wake of the Cultural Revolution. But when an accident leaves her parents debilitated, she abandons her future for a job at a high-end beauty and wellness store in New York City.

Holistik is known for its remarkable products and procedures—from remoras that suck out cheap Botox to eyelash extensions made of spider silk—and her new job affords her entry into a world of privilege and a long-awaited sense of belonging. She becomes transfixed by Helen, the niece of Holistik’s charismatic owner, and the two strike up a friendship that hazily veers into more. All the while, our narrator is plied with products that slim her thighs, smooth her skin, and lighten her hair. But beneath these creams and tinctures lies something sinister.

A piercing, darkly funny debut, Natural Beauty explores questions of consumerism, self-worth, race, and identity—and leaves readers with a shocking and unsettling truth.]]>
272 Ling Ling Huang 0593472926 Melanie 3
“It was the first time I thought about how strange it was that the thing I spent all my time doing belonged to a culture that wasn't mine. But my parents were the ones who taught me piano. It is just as much a part of my blood as it is hers.”

oh friends, i really thought this was going to be a five star at first! the writing is so atmospheric and enchanting and harrowing and just... it's perfect. and i still really enjoyed the story as well! the themes of connection and belonging in two different worlds constantly were so loud and heartfelt. i know a lot of younger diaspora people will find so much with these pages, both good and bad but very real and seen. there were multiple parts of this story that made me cry and feel so many things simultaneously.

the end was just too wild for me. maybe i'm too much of a horror new reader, but i just couldn't. i, very heartbreakingly, loved the metaphor at the end too, but i just ended up not loving the story as a whole as much as i hoped for when starting. i still highly recommend this debut with my whole heart and i am very happy that i was able to read it.

♡ buddy read with may!

trigger and content warnings (some of these could be plot spoilers so please use caution): suicidal thoughts, depression, ptsd, anxiety, grief, racism, colorism, talk of labor camps in past, extreme bullying in past, disordered eating and a lot of descriptions of disordered eating thoughts, hospitalization of loved ones, hospital setting, loss of parents, loss of a loved one, animal abuse, animal testing, animal deaths, human experimentations, sexual assault, sexual abuse, grooming, predatory behavior, drugging, forced impregnation, kind of bestiality maybe idk, cannibalism, lots of descriptions of worms and slugs and spiders and crabs, blood, death, seizures, and just lots of body horror things!

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3.79 2023 Natural Beauty
author: Ling Ling Huang
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.79
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/11/27
date added: 2023/11/30
shelves: read-in-2023, buddy-reads, horror, lgbtqiap, adult
review:
“It was the first time I thought about how strange it was that the thing I spent all my time doing belonged to a culture that wasn't mine. But my parents were the ones who taught me piano. It is just as much a part of my blood as it is hers.”

oh friends, i really thought this was going to be a five star at first! the writing is so atmospheric and enchanting and harrowing and just... it's perfect. and i still really enjoyed the story as well! the themes of connection and belonging in two different worlds constantly were so loud and heartfelt. i know a lot of younger diaspora people will find so much with these pages, both good and bad but very real and seen. there were multiple parts of this story that made me cry and feel so many things simultaneously.

the end was just too wild for me. maybe i'm too much of a horror new reader, but i just couldn't. i, very heartbreakingly, loved the metaphor at the end too, but i just ended up not loving the story as a whole as much as i hoped for when starting. i still highly recommend this debut with my whole heart and i am very happy that i was able to read it.

♡ buddy read with may!

trigger and content warnings (some of these could be plot spoilers so please use caution): suicidal thoughts, depression, ptsd, anxiety, grief, racism, colorism, talk of labor camps in past, extreme bullying in past, disordered eating and a lot of descriptions of disordered eating thoughts, hospitalization of loved ones, hospital setting, loss of parents, loss of a loved one, animal abuse, animal testing, animal deaths, human experimentations, sexual assault, sexual abuse, grooming, predatory behavior, drugging, forced impregnation, kind of bestiality maybe idk, cannibalism, lots of descriptions of worms and slugs and spiders and crabs, blood, death, seizures, and just lots of body horror things!

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<![CDATA[The Narrow Road Between Desires (The Kingkiller Chronicle, #0.6)]]> 157265081
From dawn to midnight over the course of a single day, follow the Kingkiller Chronicle's most charming fae as he schemes and sneaks, dancing into trouble and back out again with uncanny grace.

The Narrow Road Between Desires is Bast's story. In it he traces the old ways of making and breaking, following his heart even when doing so goes against his better judgement.

After all, what good is caution if it keeps him from danger and delight?]]>
240 Patrick Rothfuss 0756419182 Melanie 3 The Name of the Wind ★★★★★
2.) The Wise Man's Fear ★★★★★
2.4) The Lightning Tree ★★★★★
2.5) The Slow Regard of Silent Things ★★★★★
3.) Doors of Stone n/a

i read the 60 page version of the lightning tree in the rogues anthology, edited by george r.r. martin, back in 2017! and i gave it five stars and a gush review! bast is one of my favorite (and most intriguing) characters in the kingkiller chronicle and i love every scene with him! yet, this 250 page version just did not hit for me the way it did six years ago. i still enjoyed it, i still am so obsessed with this world and inn, and i still think pat rothfuss is one of the most talented writers with some of the most beautiful prose in all of fantasy. but i think i just really am ready for a true new story - even though i do feel empathy for pat in regards to the way the book community demands book three. (but i do also feel incredibly salty about too - both these feelings can exist simultaneously!!) overall, i am happy to have read this, and i loved the illustrations, but sadly it just felt mid to me.

trigger and content warnings: blood, self harm to get blood for magic, off page child abuse, off page domestic abuse, off page alcoholism (all of these things are mentioned a lot and are major themes of this story.)

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4.01 2023 The Narrow Road Between Desires (The Kingkiller Chronicle, #0.6)
author: Patrick Rothfuss
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.01
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/11/30
date added: 2023/11/30
shelves: adult, fantasy, novellas, read-in-2023, magic, signed
review:
1.) The Name of the Wind ★★★★★
2.) The Wise Man's Fear ★★★★★
2.4) The Lightning Tree ★★★★★
2.5) The Slow Regard of Silent Things ★★★★★
3.) Doors of Stone n/a

i read the 60 page version of the lightning tree in the rogues anthology, edited by george r.r. martin, back in 2017! and i gave it five stars and a gush review! bast is one of my favorite (and most intriguing) characters in the kingkiller chronicle and i love every scene with him! yet, this 250 page version just did not hit for me the way it did six years ago. i still enjoyed it, i still am so obsessed with this world and inn, and i still think pat rothfuss is one of the most talented writers with some of the most beautiful prose in all of fantasy. but i think i just really am ready for a true new story - even though i do feel empathy for pat in regards to the way the book community demands book three. (but i do also feel incredibly salty about too - both these feelings can exist simultaneously!!) overall, i am happy to have read this, and i loved the illustrations, but sadly it just felt mid to me.

trigger and content warnings: blood, self harm to get blood for magic, off page child abuse, off page domestic abuse, off page alcoholism (all of these things are mentioned a lot and are major themes of this story.)

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<![CDATA[Beyond The Story: 10-Year Record of BTS]]> 123274973 THE FIRST EVER OFFICIAL BOOK—

Published in celebration of BTS’s 10th Anniversary, stories that go beyond what you already know about BTS, including unreleased photos, QR codes of videos, and all album information.

After taking their first step into the world on June 13, 2013, BTS will celebrate the 10th anniversary of their debut in June 2023. They have risen to the peak as an iconic global artist and during this meaningful time, they look back on their footsteps in the first official book. In doing so, BTS nurtures the power to build brighter days and they choose to take another step on a road that no one has gone before.

BTS shares personal, behind-the-scenes stories of their journey so far through interviews and more than three years of in-depth coverage by Myeongseok Kang, who has written about K-pop and other Korean pop culture in various media. Presented chronologically in seven chapters from before the debut of BTS to the present, their vivid voices and opinions harmonize to tell a sincere, lively, and deep story. In individual interviews that have been conducted without a camera or makeup, they illuminate their musical journey from multiple angles and discuss its significance.

In addition, portrait photos that show BTS as individuals and artists open the book, and throughout there are concept photos, tracklists of all previous albums, and over 330 QR codes. As digital artists, BTS has been communicating with the world through the internet and this book allows readers to immediately access trailers, music videos, and more online to have a rich understanding of all the key moments in BTS history. Complete with a timeline of all major milestones, BEYOND THE STORY is a remarkable archive—truly everything about BTS in one volume.]]>
544 Myeongseok Kang 1250326753 Melanie 5 once in all the lifetimes 4.63 2023 Beyond The Story: 10-Year Record of BTS
author: Myeongseok Kang
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.63
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/07/19
date added: 2023/11/29
shelves: bts-read, nonfiction, read-in-2023, favorites
review:
once in all the lifetimes
]]>
Nettle & Bone 56179377
Seeking help from a powerful gravewitch, Marra is offered the tools to kill a prince—if she can complete three impossible tasks. But, as is the way in tales of princes, witches, and daughters, the impossible is only the beginning.

On her quest, Marra is joined by the gravewitch, a reluctant fairy godmother, a strapping former knight, and a chicken possessed by a demon. Together, the five of them intend to be the hand that closes around the throat of the prince and frees Marra's family and their kingdom from its tyrannous ruler at last.]]>
243 T. Kingfisher 1250244048 Melanie 5
“Nothing is fair, except that we try to make it so. That’s the point of humans, maybe, to fix things the gods haven’t managed.”

all year, i have been trying to find a five star t kingfisher book and i am so very happy to report back that nettle & bone was finally that for me. this really had so many elements that i loved and it really just completely worked for me and my reading tastes! but please use caution (and check my trigger and content warnings down below if needed). everyone always just says how this is about a sister getting revenge on a prince who has caused harm to her two older sisters, and that is very true, but this book really goes to dark places and lets you see the horrors humans can be capable of very descriptively - so please use care if you need to! because this book really is a dark fairytale about abuse, and the things that not only abusers do, but the way in which they also abuse power so that nothing can seemingly stop all the cycles in the world. how there are many different kinds of abuse, and how they all can feel strangulating in their own way, with all their many different strings and threads.

but i just really loved this book with my whole heart. the themes, the atmosphere, the traveling, the quests, the goblin market, the revenge, the demonic chicken… it was just all perfect to me. And the characters were really phenomenal. our main character, marra, who is willing to do anything to save her sister, with the help of her magical bone dog. fenris, a knight who just wants to do what is right this time around. the dust wife (demonic chicken’s owner), who is the coolest character and has lived a life of solitude tucked away in a hard to reach graveyard, until marra needs her help and proves she is worthy of it. and agnes, the sweetest godmother who will really make you think about blessings and curses and how kindness can sometimes really go a long way, especially to people who haven’t known much kindness.

i just loved this, it was perfect for me and my reading tastes, and i hope more of t kingfsher's fantasy stories feel like this to me, because she will really have a fan for life if so!

trigger + content warnings: blood, starvation, cannibalism, incest mention in royal families, talk of animal deaths, child birth depictions, mention of child dying in labor, mention of mother dying in labor, miscarriages, murder, death, domestic abuse, loss of a child, loss of a sibling, torture, talk of rape, slavery, captivity, teeth horror, suicidal thoughts and attempts, anxiety, self deprecation, and scenes that i think could feel claustrophobic.

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What Moves the Dead ★★★
A House with Good Bones ★★
Thornhedge ★★★]]>
4.07 2022 Nettle & Bone
author: T. Kingfisher
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.07
book published: 2022
rating: 5
read at: 2023/07/29
date added: 2023/11/27
shelves: fantasy, dark, read-in-2023, demons, witches, ghosts
review:
“Nothing is fair, except that we try to make it so. That’s the point of humans, maybe, to fix things the gods haven’t managed.”

all year, i have been trying to find a five star t kingfisher book and i am so very happy to report back that nettle & bone was finally that for me. this really had so many elements that i loved and it really just completely worked for me and my reading tastes! but please use caution (and check my trigger and content warnings down below if needed). everyone always just says how this is about a sister getting revenge on a prince who has caused harm to her two older sisters, and that is very true, but this book really goes to dark places and lets you see the horrors humans can be capable of very descriptively - so please use care if you need to! because this book really is a dark fairytale about abuse, and the things that not only abusers do, but the way in which they also abuse power so that nothing can seemingly stop all the cycles in the world. how there are many different kinds of abuse, and how they all can feel strangulating in their own way, with all their many different strings and threads.

but i just really loved this book with my whole heart. the themes, the atmosphere, the traveling, the quests, the goblin market, the revenge, the demonic chicken… it was just all perfect to me. And the characters were really phenomenal. our main character, marra, who is willing to do anything to save her sister, with the help of her magical bone dog. fenris, a knight who just wants to do what is right this time around. the dust wife (demonic chicken’s owner), who is the coolest character and has lived a life of solitude tucked away in a hard to reach graveyard, until marra needs her help and proves she is worthy of it. and agnes, the sweetest godmother who will really make you think about blessings and curses and how kindness can sometimes really go a long way, especially to people who haven’t known much kindness.

i just loved this, it was perfect for me and my reading tastes, and i hope more of t kingfsher's fantasy stories feel like this to me, because she will really have a fan for life if so!

trigger + content warnings: blood, starvation, cannibalism, incest mention in royal families, talk of animal deaths, child birth depictions, mention of child dying in labor, mention of mother dying in labor, miscarriages, murder, death, domestic abuse, loss of a child, loss of a sibling, torture, talk of rape, slavery, captivity, teeth horror, suicidal thoughts and attempts, anxiety, self deprecation, and scenes that i think could feel claustrophobic.

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What Moves the Dead ★★★
A House with Good Bones ★★
Thornhedge ★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[Part of Your World (Part of Your World, #1)]]> 58684524
While her ultra-wealthy parents want her to carry on the family legacy of world-renowned surgeons, Alexis doesn’t need glory or fame. She’s fine with being a “mere” ER doctor. And every minute she spends with Daniel and the tight-knit town where he lives, she’s discovering just what’s really important. Yet letting their relationship become anything more than a short-term fling would mean turning her back on her family and giving up the opportunity to help thousands of people.

Bringing Daniel into her world is impossible, and yet she can’t just give up the joy she’s found with him either. With so many differences between them, how can Alexis possibly choose between her world and his?]]>
389 Abby Jimenez 1538704374 Melanie 5
this book starts out with a very unexpected meet cute, in a small stars hollow like town, when one of our main characters tows the car of our other main character. they get to know each other a little bit in the local pub and decide to spend the night together when they quickly realize how much they both like eachother even though it feels like they come from different worlds, rather than just different towns.

oh, and this man, daniel? HE IS AN INNKEEPER! He owns the local inn! If you have been reading my reviews for years, you will know… this such a niche box for me and this man was checking it and more! our other main character, alexis, is a er doctor who is trying to follow in her family’s very large footsteps at a hospital that they opened the doors of many generations ago. but one of the main things i really loved about this story was that she quickly sees how this small town doesn’t have adequate medical resources for her - from mental health help, to preventive care help, to being able to deliver babies, to emergency and much more - everything they have to go to the town over. And this is a very big problem that is pretty close to my heart as well, and it just meant a lot to me that a romance author made it a focal point of her book. alongside another very important discussion of domestic abuse and how that can take many forms, from physical to mental to emotional to everything in between, and how none of those are lesser or less scary and difficult to navigate to safety. this book also includes some really good resources for help in the back, too.

i also just loved how this book focuses on how surrounding yourself with kind and caring people makes you want to be more kind and caring. both platonic and romantic love is so important and just finding people who you truly want to constantly make your world better with really is what life is all about. but yeah, friends, i just loved this one with my entire heart. it was a very unexpected favorite, and i really will recommend it forever.

trigger + content warnings: this book really talks about domestic abuse and how that can take many emotional and physical forms, talk of lack of medical care in a community, talk of serious health issues, talk of mental health and not being able to get medication, brief mention of heart attack in past, abusive parents, parental abandonment, mentions of loss of grandparents in past, a scene of an emergency childbirth, blood, mention of loss of patients in medical career (one sentence of loss of child patient), one sentence funeral mention, minor car accident, one sentence mention of sex trafficking, mention of cheating in past (not mcs), panic attack, depression depiction, and i wouldn’t necessarily say hospital setting but this book very much talks about the medical field and being an er doctor so please use caution.

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The Friend Zone ★★

♡ buddy read with betty jo]]>
4.25 2022 Part of Your World (Part of Your World, #1)
author: Abby Jimenez
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.25
book published: 2022
rating: 5
read at: 2023/11/17
date added: 2023/11/17
shelves: buddy-reads, contemporary, read-in-2023, romance, favorites
review:
oh friends, this is truly a new all time favorite romance book

this book starts out with a very unexpected meet cute, in a small stars hollow like town, when one of our main characters tows the car of our other main character. they get to know each other a little bit in the local pub and decide to spend the night together when they quickly realize how much they both like eachother even though it feels like they come from different worlds, rather than just different towns.

oh, and this man, daniel? HE IS AN INNKEEPER! He owns the local inn! If you have been reading my reviews for years, you will know… this such a niche box for me and this man was checking it and more! our other main character, alexis, is a er doctor who is trying to follow in her family’s very large footsteps at a hospital that they opened the doors of many generations ago. but one of the main things i really loved about this story was that she quickly sees how this small town doesn’t have adequate medical resources for her - from mental health help, to preventive care help, to being able to deliver babies, to emergency and much more - everything they have to go to the town over. And this is a very big problem that is pretty close to my heart as well, and it just meant a lot to me that a romance author made it a focal point of her book. alongside another very important discussion of domestic abuse and how that can take many forms, from physical to mental to emotional to everything in between, and how none of those are lesser or less scary and difficult to navigate to safety. this book also includes some really good resources for help in the back, too.

i also just loved how this book focuses on how surrounding yourself with kind and caring people makes you want to be more kind and caring. both platonic and romantic love is so important and just finding people who you truly want to constantly make your world better with really is what life is all about. but yeah, friends, i just loved this one with my entire heart. it was a very unexpected favorite, and i really will recommend it forever.

trigger + content warnings: this book really talks about domestic abuse and how that can take many emotional and physical forms, talk of lack of medical care in a community, talk of serious health issues, talk of mental health and not being able to get medication, brief mention of heart attack in past, abusive parents, parental abandonment, mentions of loss of grandparents in past, a scene of an emergency childbirth, blood, mention of loss of patients in medical career (one sentence of loss of child patient), one sentence funeral mention, minor car accident, one sentence mention of sex trafficking, mention of cheating in past (not mcs), panic attack, depression depiction, and i wouldn’t necessarily say hospital setting but this book very much talks about the medical field and being an er doctor so please use caution.

| | | | |

The Friend Zone ★★

♡ buddy read with betty jo
]]>
Iron Flame (The Empyrean, #2) 90202302 “The first year is when some of us lose our lives. The second year is when the rest of us lose our humanity.” —Xaden Riorson

Everyone expected Violet Sorrengail to die during her first year at Basgiath War College—Violet included. But Threshing was only the first impossible test meant to weed out the weak-willed, the unworthy, and the unlucky.

Now the real training begins, and Violet’s already wondering how she’ll get through. It’s not just that it’s grueling and maliciously brutal, or even that it’s designed to stretch the riders’ capacity for pain beyond endurance. It’s the new vice commandant, who’s made it his personal mission to teach Violet exactly how powerless she is–unless she betrays the man she loves.

Although Violet’s body might be weaker and frailer than everyone else’s, she still has her wits—and a will of iron. And leadership is forgetting the most important lesson Basgiath has taught her: Dragon riders make their own rules.

But a determination to survive won’t be enough this year.

Because Violet knows the real secret hidden for centuries at Basgiath War College—and nothing, not even dragon fire, may be enough to save them in the end.]]>
623 Rebecca Yarros 1649374178 Melanie 4 Fourth Wing ★★★★★

I am so torn on giving this a three or four star rating. this book was for sure too long, and for sure had way too many parts that i had to push myself through, but the end of this book felt five stars to me, so here we are. I actually think the pacing was the weakest and strongest parts of this second installment, because again some chapters were so pointless and tedious, but then the book would hit such a fast paced stride that I didn’t want to put it down and had to know what was going to happen next.

like i said in my review of fourth wing, there is nothing ground breaking within this fantasy romance (i mean, i guess so a little with it seeming like goodreads made a brand new category for her), but it is a fun read and a fun world to be in. the banter is a little cringe at times. the twists and turns are a little wild and back to back to back at the end of part one and part two, but i also couldn’t stop turning the pages with speed. and overall, there was just way more things i enjoyed than disliked.

i loved that we got to see the other quadrants of this school and them working with the dragon riders sometimes. i loved… all the additional “friends” we met in this one (yes, even that one. maybe extra that one lol). i really extra loved all the family dynamics within these pages (even though i was very emotional throughout). and i loved seeing more signets and learning more about them (and all the foreshadowing of what is to come with them). the dragons are the best part of this story, so i loved every single scene with them. but the best part of these reading experiences is buddy reading with so many of my friends and theorycrafting about everything. truly overall i had a really good time with this one and it was a fun read with an absolutely wild ending.

trigger + content warnings from the author: "Iron Flame is a nonstop-thrilling adventure fantasy set in the brutal and competitive world of a military college for dragon riders, which includes elements regarding war, psychological and physical torture, imprisonment, intense violence, brutal injuries, perilous situations, blood, dismemberment, burning, murder, death, animal death, graphic language, loss of family, grief, and sexual activities that are shown on the page."

additional trigger + content warnings i wrote down while reading (the last two could be potential spoilers so please use caution): drugging, ptsd depiction, nightmares, medical attention refusal, alcohol consumption, self harm to get blood for magic, mention of parental abandonment in past, suicide/self sacrifice

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4.33 2023 Iron Flame (The Empyrean, #2)
author: Rebecca Yarros
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.33
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/11/14
date added: 2023/11/15
shelves: adult, dragons, fantasy, romance, magic, read-in-2023, academia
review:
1.) Fourth Wing ★★★★★

I am so torn on giving this a three or four star rating. this book was for sure too long, and for sure had way too many parts that i had to push myself through, but the end of this book felt five stars to me, so here we are. I actually think the pacing was the weakest and strongest parts of this second installment, because again some chapters were so pointless and tedious, but then the book would hit such a fast paced stride that I didn’t want to put it down and had to know what was going to happen next.

like i said in my review of fourth wing, there is nothing ground breaking within this fantasy romance (i mean, i guess so a little with it seeming like goodreads made a brand new category for her), but it is a fun read and a fun world to be in. the banter is a little cringe at times. the twists and turns are a little wild and back to back to back at the end of part one and part two, but i also couldn’t stop turning the pages with speed. and overall, there was just way more things i enjoyed than disliked.

i loved that we got to see the other quadrants of this school and them working with the dragon riders sometimes. i loved… all the additional “friends” we met in this one (yes, even that one. maybe extra that one lol). i really extra loved all the family dynamics within these pages (even though i was very emotional throughout). and i loved seeing more signets and learning more about them (and all the foreshadowing of what is to come with them). the dragons are the best part of this story, so i loved every single scene with them. but the best part of these reading experiences is buddy reading with so many of my friends and theorycrafting about everything. truly overall i had a really good time with this one and it was a fun read with an absolutely wild ending.

trigger + content warnings from the author: "Iron Flame is a nonstop-thrilling adventure fantasy set in the brutal and competitive world of a military college for dragon riders, which includes elements regarding war, psychological and physical torture, imprisonment, intense violence, brutal injuries, perilous situations, blood, dismemberment, burning, murder, death, animal death, graphic language, loss of family, grief, and sexual activities that are shown on the page."

additional trigger + content warnings i wrote down while reading (the last two could be potential spoilers so please use caution): drugging, ptsd depiction, nightmares, medical attention refusal, alcohol consumption, self harm to get blood for magic, mention of parental abandonment in past, suicide/self sacrifice

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]]>
Happy Place 61718053
They broke up six months ago. And still haven’t told their best friends.

Which is how they find themselves sharing the largest bedroom at the Maine cottage that has been their friend group’s yearly getaway for the last decade. Their annual respite from the world, where for one vibrant, blue week they leave behind their daily lives; have copious amounts of cheese, wine, and seafood; and soak up the salty coastal air with the people who understand them most.

Only this year, Harriet and Wyn are lying through their teeth while trying not to notice how desperately they still want each other. Because the cottage is for sale and this is the last week they’ll all have together in this place. They can’t stand to break their friends’ hearts, and so they’ll play their parts. Harriet will be the driven surgical resident who never starts a fight, and Wyn will be the laid-back charmer who never lets the cracks show. It’s a flawless plan (if you look at it from a great distance and through a pair of sunscreen-smeared sunglasses). After years of being in love, how hard can it be to fake it for one week… in front of those who know you best?

A couple who broke up months ago make a pact to pretend to still be together for their annual weeklong vacation with their best friends in this glittering and wise new novel from #1 New York Times bestselling author Emily Henry.]]>
400 Emily Henry 0593441273 Melanie 3 ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

“One more deal I struck with a disinterested universe: If I’m good enough, I’ll be happy. I’ll be loved. I’ll be safe.”

This one is going to be hard to review, but please know I am for sure in the unpopular opinion with this book - so do not let my review deter you! And I did really love a lot of elements of this book! and the set up? 11/10 – a group of college roommates turned best friends, all returning back, summer after summer, to the same cottage where they will spend a magical week away from the realities that are their current lives. This book is told in alternating chapters of present day of the week, to the same day of the week from the past! I thought this was really cool and really added to this book being a fast read!

I loved the discussion on how we always will be nostalgic for the past and view those memories through a lens that romanticizes everything. I always do this while thinking about college, so seeing this group of friends talk about this this (and do this) was something that i just think about (and do) a lot. I also really loved the discussion on how friendships change! Sometimes people do grow apart, for so many reasons… time, location, and just because people change and what they like changes too! But it doesn't mean that the friendships have to end negatively, or that they ever have to end - they just are different, and even though that can be scary, different is not bad.

Also, not to get too personal, I really did have a lot in common with the main character and wanting nothing more than to make your parents happy and proud. My parents are nothing like the parents in this book! But I still felt a lot while reading how the main character put so much of her worth, and value, into how much she is pleasing the people she loves. I still very much struggle with choosing paths in life completely because of what i want - so it felt impactful reading this additional central theme as well!

But if this book was solely about the friendships and all these other elements I connected with, I think this would have been a new favorite book. But sadly, I hated the romances of this. Well, specifically, I really disliked the romantic lead in this. The romance in this is second chance and fake dating, so I had high hopes, but the more I read, the more I just didn’t like this. I also want to say that mental health and not being on medication obviously can impact lives and impacts relationships – and that is a very important discussion in this book, that I am happy was included and discussed! But the present day romance didn’t feel good to me either. And in case you need someone to say this to you: you never need to fight with someone to prove that you love them. Ever. but especially if you are living with childhood trauma that involves constantly seeing people fight.

Okay, I don't want to say anymore or get into spoilers, this review is all over the place already, but basically everything in this really worked for me, but the romance. Again, I am the unpopular opinion of this upon release in april 2023, but the friendships, and discussion of friendships and how they can change, were really impactful to me and the reason I am giving this book three stars!

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, depression, grief, parent with illness, lots of food mentions, lots of alcohol consumption, drug use, mentions of throwing up, talk of parent divorce, talk of unhappy marriages between parents, mention of loss of loved one in past, claustrophobia, panic attack

mariam's

| | | | |

Beach Read ★★★★]]>
3.95 2023 Happy Place
author: Emily Henry
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.95
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/04/23
date added: 2023/11/15
shelves: arc, read-in-2023, romance, contemporary, steamy-scenes
review:
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

“One more deal I struck with a disinterested universe: If I’m good enough, I’ll be happy. I’ll be loved. I’ll be safe.”

This one is going to be hard to review, but please know I am for sure in the unpopular opinion with this book - so do not let my review deter you! And I did really love a lot of elements of this book! and the set up? 11/10 – a group of college roommates turned best friends, all returning back, summer after summer, to the same cottage where they will spend a magical week away from the realities that are their current lives. This book is told in alternating chapters of present day of the week, to the same day of the week from the past! I thought this was really cool and really added to this book being a fast read!

I loved the discussion on how we always will be nostalgic for the past and view those memories through a lens that romanticizes everything. I always do this while thinking about college, so seeing this group of friends talk about this this (and do this) was something that i just think about (and do) a lot. I also really loved the discussion on how friendships change! Sometimes people do grow apart, for so many reasons… time, location, and just because people change and what they like changes too! But it doesn't mean that the friendships have to end negatively, or that they ever have to end - they just are different, and even though that can be scary, different is not bad.

Also, not to get too personal, I really did have a lot in common with the main character and wanting nothing more than to make your parents happy and proud. My parents are nothing like the parents in this book! But I still felt a lot while reading how the main character put so much of her worth, and value, into how much she is pleasing the people she loves. I still very much struggle with choosing paths in life completely because of what i want - so it felt impactful reading this additional central theme as well!

But if this book was solely about the friendships and all these other elements I connected with, I think this would have been a new favorite book. But sadly, I hated the romances of this. Well, specifically, I really disliked the romantic lead in this. The romance in this is second chance and fake dating, so I had high hopes, but the more I read, the more I just didn’t like this. I also want to say that mental health and not being on medication obviously can impact lives and impacts relationships – and that is a very important discussion in this book, that I am happy was included and discussed! But the present day romance didn’t feel good to me either. And in case you need someone to say this to you: you never need to fight with someone to prove that you love them. Ever. but especially if you are living with childhood trauma that involves constantly seeing people fight.

Okay, I don't want to say anymore or get into spoilers, this review is all over the place already, but basically everything in this really worked for me, but the romance. Again, I am the unpopular opinion of this upon release in april 2023, but the friendships, and discussion of friendships and how they can change, were really impactful to me and the reason I am giving this book three stars!

trigger + content warnings: anxiety, depression, grief, parent with illness, lots of food mentions, lots of alcohol consumption, drug use, mentions of throwing up, talk of parent divorce, talk of unhappy marriages between parents, mention of loss of loved one in past, claustrophobia, panic attack

mariam's

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Beach Read ★★★★
]]>
The Only One Left 62703226 At seventeen, Lenora Hope
Hung her sister with a rope


Now reduced to a schoolyard chant, the Hope family murders shocked the Maine coast one bloody night in 1929. While most people assume seventeen-year-old Lenora was responsible, the police were never able to prove it. Other than her denial after the killings, she has never spoken publicly about that night, nor has she set foot outside Hope’s End, the cliffside mansion where the massacre occurred.

Stabbed her father with a knife
Took her mother’s happy life


It’s now 1983, and home-health aide Kit McDeere arrives at a decaying Hope’s End to care for Lenora after her previous nurse fled in the middle of the night. In her seventies and confined to a wheelchair, Lenora was rendered mute by a series of strokes and can only communicate with Kit by tapping out sentences on an old typewriter. One night, Lenora uses it to make a tantalizing offer—I want to tell you everything.

“It wasn’t me,” Lenora said
But she’s the only one not dead


As Kit helps Lenora write about the events leading to the Hope family massacre, it becomes clear there’s more to the tale than people know. But when new details about her predecessor’s departure come to light, Kit starts to suspect Lenora might not be telling the complete truth—and that the seemingly harmless woman in her care could be far more dangerous than she first thought.]]>
383 Riley Sager 0593183223 Melanie 3
i honestly had a really good time with this, and my rating is for sure a very high three stars. this book will really keep you on your toes with guessing, and you will hit a point in the story where it is just all out constant reveal after reveal! this is something i did enjoy, but i feel like it was a little too much. kind of like when you’re on a rollercoaster and the first few dips and loops and plunges feel good, but if there are too many it loses the appeal and the fear, you know? but also take all of this with a grain of salt, because you all know i am not a big mystery thriller reader and reviewer! but i had a really fun time with this one overall, and for sure recommend. also, i really adored the ending of this one and thought it was close to perfect.

trigger + content warnings (please use caution reading these, because they do give away some major twists and plot reveals): toxic home, loss of a parent in past, talk of cancer, grief depiction, depression depiction, anxiety, thoughts of suicide, suicide attempt, abusive parents, captivity, nightmares, infidelity, overdose, talk of diet, negative body talk, slut shaming, pregnancy surprise, birth, blood, alcholism, drug addiction, bad medical help, brief insinuation of homophobia/homophobic parents in past, death, murder use of ouija board

♡ buddy read with Amy!

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The Last Time I Lied ★★★
Lock Every Door ★★★]]>
4.12 2023 The Only One Left
author: Riley Sager
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.12
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/07/07
date added: 2023/11/15
shelves: arc, thriller, read-in-2023, mystery, buddy-reads, adult
review:
okay, maybe i just give every riley sager book three stars, but this one was truly my favorite out of all the other ones i’ve read! 80’s setting, mansion on the coast of maine, a family massacre in a small sleepy town, the only survivor (who is also the only suspect) is now an old woman who needs 24/7 care, because her last nurse has left in the night never to be seen again! a lot of good and spooky atmosphere and allure, true? and we follow the newly hired caregiver, who grew up in this town with this haunted house, who is unable to say no for the position because of something very sad in her own life. And with the help of a typewriter, the spooky story of what really happened all of those years ago unfolds!

i honestly had a really good time with this, and my rating is for sure a very high three stars. this book will really keep you on your toes with guessing, and you will hit a point in the story where it is just all out constant reveal after reveal! this is something i did enjoy, but i feel like it was a little too much. kind of like when you’re on a rollercoaster and the first few dips and loops and plunges feel good, but if there are too many it loses the appeal and the fear, you know? but also take all of this with a grain of salt, because you all know i am not a big mystery thriller reader and reviewer! but i had a really fun time with this one overall, and for sure recommend. also, i really adored the ending of this one and thought it was close to perfect.

trigger + content warnings (please use caution reading these, because they do give away some major twists and plot reveals): toxic home, loss of a parent in past, talk of cancer, grief depiction, depression depiction, anxiety, thoughts of suicide, suicide attempt, abusive parents, captivity, nightmares, infidelity, overdose, talk of diet, negative body talk, slut shaming, pregnancy surprise, birth, blood, alcholism, drug addiction, bad medical help, brief insinuation of homophobia/homophobic parents in past, death, murder use of ouija board

♡ buddy read with Amy!

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The Last Time I Lied ★★★
Lock Every Door ★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[Bookshops & Bonedust (Legends & Lattes, #0)]]> 65213543 When an injury throws a young, battle-hungry orc off her chosen path, she may find that what we need isn't always what we seek.

In Bookshops & Bonedust, a prequel to Legends & Lattes, author Travis Baldree takes us on a journey of high fantasy, first loves, and second-hand books.

Viv's career with the notorious mercenary company Rackam's Ravens isn't going as planned.

Wounded during the hunt for a powerful necromancer, she's packed off against her will to recuperate in the sleepy beach town of Murk—so far from the action that she worries she'll never be able to return to it.

What's a thwarted soldier of fortune to do?

Spending her hours at a beleaguered bookshop in the company of its foul-mouthed proprietor is the last thing Viv would have predicted, but it may be both exactly what she needs and the seed of changes she couldn't possibly imagine.

Still, adventure isn't all that far away. A suspicious traveler in gray, a gnome with a chip on her shoulder, a summer fling, and an improbable number of skeletons prove Murk to be more eventful than Viv could have ever expected.]]>
336 Travis Baldree 1250886104 Melanie 5

ARC provided by Tor - thank you so much !!

Legends & Lattes ★★★★★

oh friends, this is for sure one of the best books of 2023. this first prequel in this adored world won me over even more than legends & lattes itself. this book starts out with viv and rackam (and their mercenary group - the ravens) in battle against a necromancer’s skeleton army! viv has wanted to prove so much these last two months finally being a part of warband, but a leg injury leaves her alone in a small seaside town called murk where she must do a lot of waiting alongside a lot of healing. But she quickly gets to exploring this town, and meeting all the locals and their businesses, and soon enough viv finds many different kinds of adventures that will keep her busy while she waits for rackam to come back for her.

i feel very obliged to make this comparison dot in this review, and it truly means a lot to me and my heart: i started to read this when baldur’s gate 3 was dropping, and i couldn't help but really see the connection of how these characters we are kind of recruiting based on trust and friendship and how these explorations with them feels like discovering this seaside town’s map completely with each new quest. the levels of happiness and comfort and warmth both of these things have given me this year is truly unmatched and both are just something so rare and beautiful that it truly feels like finding the best treasure in all storytelling. but no one, and i mean no one one, is writing the level of imagery that travis baldree is writing. everything is so beautifully described and depicted, with the most exquisite details, that i can see everything so easily in my mind that it is as if larian studios and wizards of the coast is giving me my own personal decision based experience themselves. (nerdy niche bonus: gloomstalker ranger 5, assassin rogue 4, battlemaster fighter 3 is so strong + reminds me of the stealth archer build in skyrim. but maybe next playthrough, i’ll make viv herself because i am feeling very inspired!)

and this town and these characters? oh where do i even begin? a bakery with the most swoon-worthy dwarf, a high elf doctor who will win you over much quicker than he won viv over, an orc carpenter who i personally want to give all the books of poetry to, a gnome rogue who has already stole my heart in legends & lattes, a rattkin bookseller who loves swearing and who is now a forever favorite character for me, and their gryphet who is the cutest owldog i’ve ever read about!

fern (the rattkin bookseller) really felt like a once in a lifetime character for me, because she really embodies the feeling and the power of seeing someone fall in love with books and reading and how special it feels when maybe you played a little part in that. giving book recommendations and discussing books is one of my favorite love languages. i am sure you guys know this about me, but seeing how travis created fern to describe these things in this book really hit me so unexpectedly hard and right in my very heart and soul. and this book perfectly depicts the joy of so many bookish things! like blind date with a book, book signings, even book clubs! we even get to see little parts of the books that viv is reading because of fern’s recommendations and i was obsessed every time! like i said, my new favorite bookseller.

but this book also talks about how there will never be an age limit on figuring out things you want to do in life. there will never be an age limit on things you want to change in life. and how sometimes, we really aren’t at the right place in our lives for something, but that never means that door is shut forever. and if we do decide to close that door and lock it, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the moment of living inside that room for a tiny bit of your life - and that doesn’t make anything lesser, or greater, but it can create happiness and memories that you really can take with you during every adventure in life. and sometimes, if we are lucky enough, a door of friendship that seemed to be behind a locked door, can open once again, along with new joy and new adventures.

i just loved this book completely, and, the epilogue of this book is a six star read all on its own. It made me cry, it made me swoon, it made me kick my feet and giggle uncontrollably. i dont want to give too much away, but if the author is setting up things the way i think he is, i am going to be begging tor every time for an arc because truly this series will probably become my favorite setting of all time. i know this whole review is a big gush, filled with big praise with big words, but i truly do mean them all. this story, these characters, these settings, they deserve all the praise because they truly come together to make something magical that i’ve never read before. me and fern highly recommend this book and all the unapologetic joy that comes along too!

trigger + content warnings: battle, blood, medical care descriptions, pain depiction, stalking, hurt animal, animal death (sheep), captivity, anxiety, nightmares, death, murder (off page), slavery, abandonment in past

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4.12 2023 Bookshops & Bonedust (Legends & Lattes, #0)
author: Travis Baldree
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.12
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/08/08
date added: 2023/11/06
shelves: fantasy, lgbtqiap, arc, read-in-2023, signed, cozy
review:


ARC provided by Tor - thank you so much !!

Legends & Lattes ★★★★★

oh friends, this is for sure one of the best books of 2023. this first prequel in this adored world won me over even more than legends & lattes itself. this book starts out with viv and rackam (and their mercenary group - the ravens) in battle against a necromancer’s skeleton army! viv has wanted to prove so much these last two months finally being a part of warband, but a leg injury leaves her alone in a small seaside town called murk where she must do a lot of waiting alongside a lot of healing. But she quickly gets to exploring this town, and meeting all the locals and their businesses, and soon enough viv finds many different kinds of adventures that will keep her busy while she waits for rackam to come back for her.

i feel very obliged to make this comparison dot in this review, and it truly means a lot to me and my heart: i started to read this when baldur’s gate 3 was dropping, and i couldn't help but really see the connection of how these characters we are kind of recruiting based on trust and friendship and how these explorations with them feels like discovering this seaside town’s map completely with each new quest. the levels of happiness and comfort and warmth both of these things have given me this year is truly unmatched and both are just something so rare and beautiful that it truly feels like finding the best treasure in all storytelling. but no one, and i mean no one one, is writing the level of imagery that travis baldree is writing. everything is so beautifully described and depicted, with the most exquisite details, that i can see everything so easily in my mind that it is as if larian studios and wizards of the coast is giving me my own personal decision based experience themselves. (nerdy niche bonus: gloomstalker ranger 5, assassin rogue 4, battlemaster fighter 3 is so strong + reminds me of the stealth archer build in skyrim. but maybe next playthrough, i’ll make viv herself because i am feeling very inspired!)

and this town and these characters? oh where do i even begin? a bakery with the most swoon-worthy dwarf, a high elf doctor who will win you over much quicker than he won viv over, an orc carpenter who i personally want to give all the books of poetry to, a gnome rogue who has already stole my heart in legends & lattes, a rattkin bookseller who loves swearing and who is now a forever favorite character for me, and their gryphet who is the cutest owldog i’ve ever read about!

fern (the rattkin bookseller) really felt like a once in a lifetime character for me, because she really embodies the feeling and the power of seeing someone fall in love with books and reading and how special it feels when maybe you played a little part in that. giving book recommendations and discussing books is one of my favorite love languages. i am sure you guys know this about me, but seeing how travis created fern to describe these things in this book really hit me so unexpectedly hard and right in my very heart and soul. and this book perfectly depicts the joy of so many bookish things! like blind date with a book, book signings, even book clubs! we even get to see little parts of the books that viv is reading because of fern’s recommendations and i was obsessed every time! like i said, my new favorite bookseller.

but this book also talks about how there will never be an age limit on figuring out things you want to do in life. there will never be an age limit on things you want to change in life. and how sometimes, we really aren’t at the right place in our lives for something, but that never means that door is shut forever. and if we do decide to close that door and lock it, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the moment of living inside that room for a tiny bit of your life - and that doesn’t make anything lesser, or greater, but it can create happiness and memories that you really can take with you during every adventure in life. and sometimes, if we are lucky enough, a door of friendship that seemed to be behind a locked door, can open once again, along with new joy and new adventures.

i just loved this book completely, and, the epilogue of this book is a six star read all on its own. It made me cry, it made me swoon, it made me kick my feet and giggle uncontrollably. i dont want to give too much away, but if the author is setting up things the way i think he is, i am going to be begging tor every time for an arc because truly this series will probably become my favorite setting of all time. i know this whole review is a big gush, filled with big praise with big words, but i truly do mean them all. this story, these characters, these settings, they deserve all the praise because they truly come together to make something magical that i’ve never read before. me and fern highly recommend this book and all the unapologetic joy that comes along too!

trigger + content warnings: battle, blood, medical care descriptions, pain depiction, stalking, hurt animal, animal death (sheep), captivity, anxiety, nightmares, death, murder (off page), slavery, abandonment in past

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<![CDATA[The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England (Secret Projects, #2)]]> 60531410 399 Brandon Sanderson 1938570332 Melanie 2
this was truly such a disappointment. i get what sanderson was trying to do, and trying to critique, but it is so surface level that it just ends up feeling extra bad and extra hollow (especially when cops and law enforcement are involved throughout). there are constant "jokes" and "funny" star ratings throughout this story as well, and they truly constantly made me feel like i was cringing out of my skin. on top of it all, our main character is so damn unlikeable, and i think he is meant to be, but he extra made this book so insufferable to read for 400 pages.

i am giving this two stars because steve argyle's art is so beautiful and was truly the shining star of this entire work.

trigger + content warnings: memory loss, battle, death, murder, violence, loss of a loved one in past, grief depiction, depression depiction, pandemic mention, brief mentions of loss of a child, kidnapping, self harm for proof of medical abilities, talk of colonization, gun violence, mention of cheating, suicide ideation

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Tress of the Emerald Sea ★★★★★
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter ★★★★★
The Sunlit Man ★★★★]]>
3.74 2023 The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England (Secret Projects, #2)
author: Brandon Sanderson
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.74
book published: 2023
rating: 2
read at: 2023/04/16
date added: 2023/10/21
shelves: adult, read-in-2023, book-subscription-box, sci-fi
review:
this is a story about a man who wakes up in medieval england with no memory, but a deep feeling of great loss, and a physical handbook to guide in this new adventure. we get to learn about this world that is like ours, but with the technology to travel to multiple dimensions, while also having augments to strengthen your human body. but ultimately, this story made me realize that from this point on, i think i will only read sanderson's cosmere stories.

this was truly such a disappointment. i get what sanderson was trying to do, and trying to critique, but it is so surface level that it just ends up feeling extra bad and extra hollow (especially when cops and law enforcement are involved throughout). there are constant "jokes" and "funny" star ratings throughout this story as well, and they truly constantly made me feel like i was cringing out of my skin. on top of it all, our main character is so damn unlikeable, and i think he is meant to be, but he extra made this book so insufferable to read for 400 pages.

i am giving this two stars because steve argyle's art is so beautiful and was truly the shining star of this entire work.

trigger + content warnings: memory loss, battle, death, murder, violence, loss of a loved one in past, grief depiction, depression depiction, pandemic mention, brief mentions of loss of a child, kidnapping, self harm for proof of medical abilities, talk of colonization, gun violence, mention of cheating, suicide ideation

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Tress of the Emerald Sea ★★★★★
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter ★★★★★
The Sunlit Man ★★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[The Last Tale of the Flower Bride]]> 61150759
Once upon a time, a man who believed in fairy tales married a beautiful, mysterious woman named Indigo Maxwell-Casteñada. He was a scholar of myths. She was heiress to a fortune. They exchanged gifts and stories and believed they would live happily ever after—and in exchange for her love, Indigo extracted a promise: that her bridegroom would never pry into her past.

But when Indigo learns that her estranged aunt is dying and the couple is forced to return to her childhood home, the House of Dreams, the bridegroom will soon find himself unable to resist. For within the crumbling manor’s extravagant rooms and musty halls, there lurks the shadow of another girl: Azure, Indigo’s dearest childhood friend who suddenly disappeared. As the house slowly reveals his wife’s secrets, the bridegroom will be forced to choose between reality and fantasy, even if doing so threatens to destroy their marriage . . . or their lives.

Combining the lush, haunting atmosphere of Mexican Gothic with the dreamy enchantment of The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, The Last Tale of the Flower Bride is a spellbinding and darkly romantic page-turner about love and lies, secrets and betrayal, and the stories we tell ourselves to survive.]]>
289 Roshani Chokshi Melanie 4 ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

first and foremost, i will for sure say i think this is a book that you would benefit from going in to without knowing anything (trigger and content warnings below if you do need/want) - so maybe even pass on reading this next paragraph all together until you have finished. also, i believe the synopsis is vague and mysterious for a reason, and i opened these pages expecting roshani to weave me an adult dark fairytale - which she totally did - but this book is so much more than that.

“Who were we when not cleaved to each other?”

this is a beautiful and lush atmospheric story, with a gothic spooky house setting, all centered around the mystery that is the fae and three people who have been searching their whole lives for them. but the heart of this story is about grief, abuse, neglect, and how the world can be so extra unfair to children that they are forced to find and create their own places in magical worlds to feel safe, loved, and be able to escape. This book was very hard to read at times, and roshani is an expert at blending dark whimsy and dark reality together flawlessly. i could not put this book down, because i needed to know more and more answers each time one was unlocked! but also while i was having that intense feeling of seeing scenes play out while you are watching with your hands kind of covering your eyes. you don't want to know, but you need to know. plus roshani’s writing is such a tier above everything, this story is filled with very intense and juxtaposing feelings. ahhh, i feel like i have already said too much - but i love all roshani’s stories and i am always so proud of her and her voice - i hope the world loves this story and all the well crafted and very important layers.

oh and lastly, some early reviews are saying this is a bluebeard retelling, but i am not familiar with that story, i am sorry! but she also pulls from so many other stories and myths (this really is also a love letter to dark and cruel and beloved tales), one being another brothers grimm story that i was somewhat familiar with, and it really added another dark and scary layer that really helped emphasize the scariest monsters of all time will always be humans.

tw/cw: loss of a loved one, extreme nightmares, a lot of blood depiction + drawing blood, gore, abuse, domestic abuse, child abuse, child neglect, child abandonment, gaslighting, animal deaths, human deaths, murder, mention of child death, kind of brief mentions of dieting/eating a very specific way, bullying, cheating, codependency, suicidal ideation and thoughts, drugging, pedophilia (very weird things being said, the child being scared/constant state of fear at home, creepy and unsettling vibes every scene with intention for more, and then at 17 years old unwanted touching/brushing past + maybe more/set up to be more… this is a hard trigger warning, but it is a constant thing in the book that is very hard to read so please use caution)

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3.67 2023 The Last Tale of the Flower Bride
author: Roshani Chokshi
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.67
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/01/14
date added: 2023/10/19
shelves: adult, read-in-2023, arc, filipino, mystery, dark, horror, thriller
review:
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

first and foremost, i will for sure say i think this is a book that you would benefit from going in to without knowing anything (trigger and content warnings below if you do need/want) - so maybe even pass on reading this next paragraph all together until you have finished. also, i believe the synopsis is vague and mysterious for a reason, and i opened these pages expecting roshani to weave me an adult dark fairytale - which she totally did - but this book is so much more than that.

“Who were we when not cleaved to each other?”

this is a beautiful and lush atmospheric story, with a gothic spooky house setting, all centered around the mystery that is the fae and three people who have been searching their whole lives for them. but the heart of this story is about grief, abuse, neglect, and how the world can be so extra unfair to children that they are forced to find and create their own places in magical worlds to feel safe, loved, and be able to escape. This book was very hard to read at times, and roshani is an expert at blending dark whimsy and dark reality together flawlessly. i could not put this book down, because i needed to know more and more answers each time one was unlocked! but also while i was having that intense feeling of seeing scenes play out while you are watching with your hands kind of covering your eyes. you don't want to know, but you need to know. plus roshani’s writing is such a tier above everything, this story is filled with very intense and juxtaposing feelings. ahhh, i feel like i have already said too much - but i love all roshani’s stories and i am always so proud of her and her voice - i hope the world loves this story and all the well crafted and very important layers.

oh and lastly, some early reviews are saying this is a bluebeard retelling, but i am not familiar with that story, i am sorry! but she also pulls from so many other stories and myths (this really is also a love letter to dark and cruel and beloved tales), one being another brothers grimm story that i was somewhat familiar with, and it really added another dark and scary layer that really helped emphasize the scariest monsters of all time will always be humans.

tw/cw: loss of a loved one, extreme nightmares, a lot of blood depiction + drawing blood, gore, abuse, domestic abuse, child abuse, child neglect, child abandonment, gaslighting, animal deaths, human deaths, murder, mention of child death, kind of brief mentions of dieting/eating a very specific way, bullying, cheating, codependency, suicidal ideation and thoughts, drugging, pedophilia (very weird things being said, the child being scared/constant state of fear at home, creepy and unsettling vibes every scene with intention for more, and then at 17 years old unwanted touching/brushing past + maybe more/set up to be more… this is a hard trigger warning, but it is a constant thing in the book that is very hard to read so please use caution)

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]]>
<![CDATA[Lore Olympus: Volume Five (Lore Olympus, #5)]]> 75607709 Scandalous gossip, wild parties, and forbidden love--the Greek tale of Hades and Persephone gets a romantic modern update in the gorgeously illustrated, Eisner Award-winning Lore Olympus, including behind-the-scenes content!

An ingenious take on the Greek Pantheon, Lore Olympus is a modern update on the story of Hades and Persephone. Follow the propulsive love story of two Greek gods, told with lavish artwork and contemporary sensibilities.

This full-color edition of Smythe's original Eisner Award-winning webcomic Lore Olympus features exclusive behind-the-scenes content and brings Greek mythology into the modern age in a sharply perceptive and romantic graphic novel.

This volume collects episodes 103-126 of the #1 WEBTOON comic Lore Olympus.]]>
400 Rachel Smythe 0593599063 Melanie 3 Volume One ★★
Volume Two ★★★
Volume Three ★★★★
Volume Four ★★★

“Demeter is going to kill me… Resurrect me… And then Hestia is gonna kill me!”

i believe in hera and hecate supremacy. but this fifth installment is the highest of three star ratings. i truly just love this reimagining of greek gods, with a color palette and art style that is so beautiful. i find so much happiness reading these each new volume drop. i felt a lot of persephone in this bind up, and i think it is the perfect set up for a really emotional and powerful volume six. i really am just manifesting her safety, and her happiness, and her finally feeling in control of her body and choices. i also really extra loved the bonus art at the end of this, and seeing the creator talk about how a lot of this art and story was created in march of 2020.

cws from the author at the start of this book: physical + mental abuse, sexual trauma, + toxic relationships

other tw/cw i wrote down: trauma depiction, depression depiction, infidelity (not mcs), anxiety, blood splatter implications, murder, death, alcohol consumption, smoking, blackmail, missing person, sending photos without consent (and those photos also being taken without consent)

♡ buddy reading this series with Penny
✰ read for free on

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4.46 2023 Lore Olympus: Volume Five (Lore Olympus, #5)
author: Rachel Smythe
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.46
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/10/05
date added: 2023/10/06
shelves: graphic-novels, retellings, fantasy, read-in-2023
review:
Volume One ★★
Volume Two ★★★
Volume Three ★★★★
Volume Four ★★★

“Demeter is going to kill me… Resurrect me… And then Hestia is gonna kill me!”

i believe in hera and hecate supremacy. but this fifth installment is the highest of three star ratings. i truly just love this reimagining of greek gods, with a color palette and art style that is so beautiful. i find so much happiness reading these each new volume drop. i felt a lot of persephone in this bind up, and i think it is the perfect set up for a really emotional and powerful volume six. i really am just manifesting her safety, and her happiness, and her finally feeling in control of her body and choices. i also really extra loved the bonus art at the end of this, and seeing the creator talk about how a lot of this art and story was created in march of 2020.

cws from the author at the start of this book: physical + mental abuse, sexual trauma, + toxic relationships

other tw/cw i wrote down: trauma depiction, depression depiction, infidelity (not mcs), anxiety, blood splatter implications, murder, death, alcohol consumption, smoking, blackmail, missing person, sending photos without consent (and those photos also being taken without consent)

♡ buddy reading this series with Penny
✰ read for free on

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Thornhedge 61884932 There’s a princess trapped in a tower. This isn’t her story.

Meet Toadling. On the day of her birth, she was stolen from her family by the fairies, but she grew up safe and loved in the warm waters of faerieland. Once an adult though, the fae ask a favor of Toadling: return to the human world and offer a blessing of protection to a newborn child. Simple, right?

But nothing with fairies is ever simple.

Centuries later, a knight approaches a towering wall of brambles, where the thorns are as thick as your arm and as sharp as swords. He's heard there's a curse here that needs breaking, but it's a curse Toadling will do anything to uphold…]]>
116 T. Kingfisher 1250244099 Melanie 3
“It never occurred to her to doubt her welcome. Such was the gift of a child raised with love.”

this is a hard one to rate, but i think i have settled on the highest of 3 stars! but three stars feels extra wild because the mc of this is probably my favorite character that t kingfisher has ever created! this is a sleeping beauty reimagining that really makes the reader think about what humans can perceive as good and/or evil on first glance. it also has heavy themes of nurture versus nature and how important it is for children to grow up with love and safety. but there was just something about the evil one being a child* in this story that made me uncomfortable, and upon finishing it just really made me not want to give out a higher rating, despite loving so many other aspects of this novella. (*i know there is more to this, but i am trying to be vague for this mini review!)

toading, the main character, is truly wonderful. and I loved seeing her watch generation after generation pass while protecting this tower, until one day a prince comes that makes her want to do things a little differently. i loved seeing her growing up among the fae, with a family and community who loved her unapologetically with everything they had. and i loved the writing of this and how beautifully kingfisher was able to blend past and present narratives together. i know this review is a little all over the place, but i still recommend this one and i can’t wait to continue reading everything from this author.

trigger + content warnings: blood, plague, death, kidnapping, captivity, brief mention of child birth, death of a child, self harm for magic / testing magic, mention of animal cruelty, physical abuse (slap), suicide mention, violence, extreme isolation

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What Moves the Dead ★★★
A House with Good Bones ★★
Nettle & Bone ★★★★★]]>
3.95 2023 Thornhedge
author: T. Kingfisher
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.95
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/09/02
date added: 2023/09/30
shelves: adult, fantasy, signed, retellings, arc, fae, read-in-2023, novellas, shifters
review:
“It never occurred to her to doubt her welcome. Such was the gift of a child raised with love.”

this is a hard one to rate, but i think i have settled on the highest of 3 stars! but three stars feels extra wild because the mc of this is probably my favorite character that t kingfisher has ever created! this is a sleeping beauty reimagining that really makes the reader think about what humans can perceive as good and/or evil on first glance. it also has heavy themes of nurture versus nature and how important it is for children to grow up with love and safety. but there was just something about the evil one being a child* in this story that made me uncomfortable, and upon finishing it just really made me not want to give out a higher rating, despite loving so many other aspects of this novella. (*i know there is more to this, but i am trying to be vague for this mini review!)

toading, the main character, is truly wonderful. and I loved seeing her watch generation after generation pass while protecting this tower, until one day a prince comes that makes her want to do things a little differently. i loved seeing her growing up among the fae, with a family and community who loved her unapologetically with everything they had. and i loved the writing of this and how beautifully kingfisher was able to blend past and present narratives together. i know this review is a little all over the place, but i still recommend this one and i can’t wait to continue reading everything from this author.

trigger + content warnings: blood, plague, death, kidnapping, captivity, brief mention of child birth, death of a child, self harm for magic / testing magic, mention of animal cruelty, physical abuse (slap), suicide mention, violence, extreme isolation

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What Moves the Dead ★★★
A House with Good Bones ★★
Nettle & Bone ★★★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[Six Scorched Roses (Crowns of Nyaxia, #1.5)]]> 123027751
Six roses. Six vials of blood. Six visits to a vampire who could be her salvation… or her damnation.

Lilith has been dying since the day she was born. But while she long ago came to terms with her own imminent death, the deaths of everyone she loves is an entirely different matter. As her town slowly withers in the clutches of a mysterious god-cursed illness, she takes matters into her own hands.

Desperate to find a cure, Lilith strikes a bargain with the only thing the gods hate even more than her village: a vampire, Vale. She offers him six roses in exchange for six vials of vampire blood–the one hope for her town’s salvation.

But when what begins as a simple transaction gradually becomes something more, Lilith is faced with a terrifying realization: It’s dangerous to wander into the clutches of a vampire… and in a place already suffering a god’s wrath, more dangerous still to fall in love with one.]]>
187 Carissa Broadbent Melanie 4 The Serpent and the Wings of Night ★★★★

“My blood. My books. My knowledge. Anything. It is yours.”

i might be stretching a bit, but this felt like a lilith origin story mixed with beauty and the beast reimagining... and i loved it. and because of consuming way too many lilith stories, i am so excited to see how these characters are incorporated into the rest of this series. and i really loved lilith in this story, and how she was older, and neurodivergent, and a scientist, and how big her heart was.

this story is all about her trying to find a cure for a sickness that has taken her town, and soon her sister, because her father spited a god. But on the outskirts of town lives a vampire all by himself, and maybe his blood could help lilith find a cure before it is too late. and they make a deal that will cost her six perfect roses in return for vials of his blood each transaction.

i really loved this, i loved both characters, the empathy, the healing, the discoveries of medicine and gods and each other. This is truly so very close to a five star for me. and the way the author was really able to give a fully fleshed out tale, with so much heart and empathy, that is completely different in every way to the introduction of this world in the first book, in under 200 pages, it is just so impressive. i highly recommend this one.

trigger + content warnings: loss of a parent, death in child birth mention, plague, death, blood, drawing blood, needles, animal testing mentions, robbing involving physical assault, threat of sexual assault, grief, sibling illness, gore, violence, battle / fighting, mention of war, panic attacks

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Daughter of No Worlds ★★★]]>
4.24 2023 Six Scorched Roses (Crowns of Nyaxia, #1.5)
author: Carissa Broadbent
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.24
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/09/04
date added: 2023/09/30
shelves: vampires, novellas, fantasy, demons, romance, magic, read-in-2023, adult
review:
1.) The Serpent and the Wings of Night ★★★★

“My blood. My books. My knowledge. Anything. It is yours.”

i might be stretching a bit, but this felt like a lilith origin story mixed with beauty and the beast reimagining... and i loved it. and because of consuming way too many lilith stories, i am so excited to see how these characters are incorporated into the rest of this series. and i really loved lilith in this story, and how she was older, and neurodivergent, and a scientist, and how big her heart was.

this story is all about her trying to find a cure for a sickness that has taken her town, and soon her sister, because her father spited a god. But on the outskirts of town lives a vampire all by himself, and maybe his blood could help lilith find a cure before it is too late. and they make a deal that will cost her six perfect roses in return for vials of his blood each transaction.

i really loved this, i loved both characters, the empathy, the healing, the discoveries of medicine and gods and each other. This is truly so very close to a five star for me. and the way the author was really able to give a fully fleshed out tale, with so much heart and empathy, that is completely different in every way to the introduction of this world in the first book, in under 200 pages, it is just so impressive. i highly recommend this one.

trigger + content warnings: loss of a parent, death in child birth mention, plague, death, blood, drawing blood, needles, animal testing mentions, robbing involving physical assault, threat of sexual assault, grief, sibling illness, gore, violence, battle / fighting, mention of war, panic attacks

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Daughter of No Worlds ★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[Magic Tides (Kate Daniels: Wilmington Years, #1; Kate Daniels, #10.5)]]> 65969788 Ilona Andrews invites you back to the #1 New York Times bestselling Kate Daniels series in this exciting new long novella featuring Kate, Curran and Conlan, some familiar faces, some new friends, and all the special brand of chaos they create!

Kate, Curran and their son, Conlan have left Atlanta, vowing to keep a low profile, and are settling into a new city and new house…but some things never change! Magical mayhem is about to erupt when Kate undertakes the rescue of a kidnapped youth, while Curran guards the homefront.

It should be a simple retrieval, but with monsters on land and sea, Kate’s got her work cut out for her. Still, she's never let her blade dull or her purpose falter. And that low profile? It’s about to wash away with the raging tides!]]>
158 Ilona Andrews Melanie 3
“She will find the hornet’s nest and set it on fire. When the angry hornets fly out, she’ll poke them with her sword.”

this series is a paranormal romance urban fantasy series that has a modern day apocalyptic setting. all the other books in the series have been set in atlanta, georgia, but this is the first story to take place in wilmington, north carolina, where kat and curran are trying to make a new and different life for their young son, conlan. at the start of this, they have just moved and are in the process of doing some home renovations, but all the magical monsters will find them wherever they go, i fear.

it was so nice and comforting to be back into this world with some characters that i literally grew up reading about. this was just exactly what i needed and wanted at the very right time. this novella had so many throwbacks to this beloved original series, and so many atlanta friends that i’ve missed reading about so much. i hate to keep repeating the word, but this story was just very comforting to me, even if it was handling some darker themes. i think i could happily read about kate taking down all the bad guys, human monsters and creature monsters, forever.

trigger + content warnings: kidnapping / human trafficking, slavery, violence, death, murder, child abuse descriptions, battle, threat of rape, one sentence mention of loss of a child / death in child birth, child illness, talk of disease, manipulation, lack of medicine, cannibalism mention, torture, mild body horror

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1.) Magic Bites ★★★★
2.) Magic Burns ★★★★
3.) Magic Strikes ★★★★★
4.) Magic Bleeds ★★★★★
5.) Magic Slays ★★★★★
6.) Magic Rises ★★★★
7.) Magic Breaks ★★★★
8.) Magic Shifts ★★★★
8.5) Magic Stars ★★★★
9.) Magic Binds ★★★
9.5) Magic Stars ★★★
10.) Magic Triumphs ★★★]]>
4.51 2023 Magic Tides (Kate Daniels: Wilmington Years, #1; Kate Daniels, #10.5)
author: Ilona Andrews
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.51
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/09/28
date added: 2023/09/30
shelves: urban, shifters, romance, paranormal, fantasy, magic, adult, read-in-2023
review:
“She will find the hornet’s nest and set it on fire. When the angry hornets fly out, she’ll poke them with her sword.”

this series is a paranormal romance urban fantasy series that has a modern day apocalyptic setting. all the other books in the series have been set in atlanta, georgia, but this is the first story to take place in wilmington, north carolina, where kat and curran are trying to make a new and different life for their young son, conlan. at the start of this, they have just moved and are in the process of doing some home renovations, but all the magical monsters will find them wherever they go, i fear.

it was so nice and comforting to be back into this world with some characters that i literally grew up reading about. this was just exactly what i needed and wanted at the very right time. this novella had so many throwbacks to this beloved original series, and so many atlanta friends that i’ve missed reading about so much. i hate to keep repeating the word, but this story was just very comforting to me, even if it was handling some darker themes. i think i could happily read about kate taking down all the bad guys, human monsters and creature monsters, forever.

trigger + content warnings: kidnapping / human trafficking, slavery, violence, death, murder, child abuse descriptions, battle, threat of rape, one sentence mention of loss of a child / death in child birth, child illness, talk of disease, manipulation, lack of medicine, cannibalism mention, torture, mild body horror

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1.) Magic Bites ★★★★
2.) Magic Burns ★★★★
3.) Magic Strikes ★★★★★
4.) Magic Bleeds ★★★★★
5.) Magic Slays ★★★★★
6.) Magic Rises ★★★★
7.) Magic Breaks ★★★★
8.) Magic Shifts ★★★★
8.5) Magic Stars ★★★★
9.) Magic Binds ★★★
9.5) Magic Stars ★★★
10.) Magic Triumphs ★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[The Serpent and the Wings of Night (Crowns of Nyaxia, #1)]]> 60714999 Human or vampire, the rules of survival are the same: never trust, never yield, and always – always – guard your heart.

The adopted human daughter of the Nightborn vampire king, Oraya carved her place in a world designed to kill her. Her only chance to become something more than prey is entering the Kejari: a legendary tournament held by the goddess of death herself.

But winning won’t be easy amongst the most vicious warriors from all three vampire houses. To survive, Oraya is forced to make an alliance with a mysterious rival.

Everything about Raihn is dangerous. He is a ruthless vampire, an efficient killer, an enemy to her father’s crown… and her greatest competition. Yet, what terrifies Oraya most of all is that she finds herself oddly drawn to him.

But there’s no room for compassion in the Kejari. War for the House of Night brews, shattering everything that Oraya thought she knew about her home. And Raihn may understand her more than anyone – but their blossoming attraction could be her downfall, in a kingdom where nothing is more deadly than love.

The Serpent and the Wings of Night is the first book in a new series of heart-wrenching romance, dark magic, and bloodthirsty intrigue, perfect for fans of From Blood and Ash and A Court of Thorns and Roses.]]>
504 Carissa Broadbent Melanie 4
“One day love became not an offering of safety, but a reminder of everything cruel and dangerous in the world.”

human girl adopted and raised by a king of vampires, enters a cutthroat magical tournament which honors the goddess of vampires, who will grant the winner any one wish of their asking, also with a romance brewing in the backdrop which is making each new trail more and more difficult and confusing. oh friends, i ate this up with a spoon and i am here typing this mini review and begging my postman to deliver the novella and second book of this series immediately!

for the twilight girls, the hunger games girls, the girls who love enemies to lovers with a different hidden enemies to lovers within. the girls who love complicated father daughter relationships (the “never you” truly broke me into a million pieces) !! i really had a good time with this one, and carissa broadbent really knows how to write an endearing main character that you can’t help but put your entire heart into rooting for. the hype is totally warranted for this fantasy romance, in my opinion.

trigger + content warnings: loss of family/loss of loved ones throughout this book, blood, parental abuse, murder, gore, self harm to get blood, nightmares, ptsd, grief, self harm mention in past, vomit, violence, anxiety, war, torture, battle, sexual assault in past, insinuation of rape in past, forced starvation (vampires with blood), animal death, slavery, captivity, fire, ableist terms for disabilities

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Daughter of No Worlds ★★★

♡ buddy read with betty jo]]>
4.29 2022 The Serpent and the Wings of Night (Crowns of Nyaxia, #1)
author: Carissa Broadbent
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.29
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2023/08/20
date added: 2023/08/24
shelves: vampires, romance, adult, read-in-2023, demons, buddy-reads, fantasy
review:
“One day love became not an offering of safety, but a reminder of everything cruel and dangerous in the world.”

human girl adopted and raised by a king of vampires, enters a cutthroat magical tournament which honors the goddess of vampires, who will grant the winner any one wish of their asking, also with a romance brewing in the backdrop which is making each new trail more and more difficult and confusing. oh friends, i ate this up with a spoon and i am here typing this mini review and begging my postman to deliver the novella and second book of this series immediately!

for the twilight girls, the hunger games girls, the girls who love enemies to lovers with a different hidden enemies to lovers within. the girls who love complicated father daughter relationships (the “never you” truly broke me into a million pieces) !! i really had a good time with this one, and carissa broadbent really knows how to write an endearing main character that you can’t help but put your entire heart into rooting for. the hype is totally warranted for this fantasy romance, in my opinion.

trigger + content warnings: loss of family/loss of loved ones throughout this book, blood, parental abuse, murder, gore, self harm to get blood, nightmares, ptsd, grief, self harm mention in past, vomit, violence, anxiety, war, torture, battle, sexual assault in past, insinuation of rape in past, forced starvation (vampires with blood), animal death, slavery, captivity, fire, ableist terms for disabilities

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Daughter of No Worlds ★★★

♡ buddy read with betty jo
]]>
<![CDATA[Divine Rivals (Letters of Enchantment, #1)]]> 60784546 After centuries of sleep, the gods are warring again…

All eighteen-year-old Iris Winnow wants to do is hold her family together. With a brother on the frontline forced to fight on behalf of the Gods now missing from the frontline and a mother drowning her sorrows, Iris’s best bet is winning the columnist promotion at the Oath Gazette.

But when Iris’s letters to her brother fall into the wrong hands – that of the handsome but cold Roman Kitt, her rival at the paper – an unlikely magical connection forms.

Expelled into the middle of a mystical war, magical typewriters in tow, can their bond withstand the fight for the fate of mankind and, most importantly, love?

An epic enemies-to-lovers fantasy novel filled with hope and heartbreak, and the unparalleled power of love.]]>
357 Rebecca Ross 1250857430 Melanie 4
“I rarely share this part of my life with others, but I want to tell it to you now. A piece of armor, because I trust you. A glint of falling steel, because I feel safe with you.”

i really wanted to read this one, because so many of you were recommending it to me! and i ended up reading this in two sittings, because i could not put it down. the writing is beyond beautiful and i feel the story is paced in a way that just makes it so compulsively readable! to write a book about beautiful writing you have to be able to write beautifully and rebecca ross truly delivered on that front. there is a good portion of this book where we see the two main characters writing letters back and forth to each other on their typewriters and some of the things Iris and Roman would write really would make me weep. i loved the first half of this book completely, and i really loved the middle with attie and marisol, but the reason i am giving this four stars is because the more we got to see this magical war of soldiers fighting for gods, the more i wanted to know about the actual war going on, and i still feel so clueless about so much. i feel like the next book will help fill in a lot of the things we didn’t get from this one (oh my god, that ending), but i did close this book maybe not as in love as i was opening it! but i still had a good time with this book, and I really think Iris is a favorite character of 2023 for me.

trigger + content warnings: war, war zones, battle, bombings, death, injury, medical treatments, needle mention, blood, gore, violence, anxiety, panic attacks, ptsd, alcoholism, vomit, loss of a loved one, loss of a parent, loss of a sibling, loss of a loved one in past, drowning, grief, depression, abandonment, insomnia mention

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4.14 2023 Divine Rivals (Letters of Enchantment, #1)
author: Rebecca Ross
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.14
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/07/30
date added: 2023/08/06
shelves: young-adult, historical, read-in-2023, epistolary, romance
review:
“I rarely share this part of my life with others, but I want to tell it to you now. A piece of armor, because I trust you. A glint of falling steel, because I feel safe with you.”

i really wanted to read this one, because so many of you were recommending it to me! and i ended up reading this in two sittings, because i could not put it down. the writing is beyond beautiful and i feel the story is paced in a way that just makes it so compulsively readable! to write a book about beautiful writing you have to be able to write beautifully and rebecca ross truly delivered on that front. there is a good portion of this book where we see the two main characters writing letters back and forth to each other on their typewriters and some of the things Iris and Roman would write really would make me weep. i loved the first half of this book completely, and i really loved the middle with attie and marisol, but the reason i am giving this four stars is because the more we got to see this magical war of soldiers fighting for gods, the more i wanted to know about the actual war going on, and i still feel so clueless about so much. i feel like the next book will help fill in a lot of the things we didn’t get from this one (oh my god, that ending), but i did close this book maybe not as in love as i was opening it! but i still had a good time with this book, and I really think Iris is a favorite character of 2023 for me.

trigger + content warnings: war, war zones, battle, bombings, death, injury, medical treatments, needle mention, blood, gore, violence, anxiety, panic attacks, ptsd, alcoholism, vomit, loss of a loved one, loss of a parent, loss of a sibling, loss of a loved one in past, drowning, grief, depression, abandonment, insomnia mention

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<![CDATA[A Court of Mist and Fury (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #2)]]> 26073150
Nor has Feyre forgotten her bargain with Rhysand, High Lord of the feared Night Court. As Feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms—and she might be key to stopping it. But only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future—and the future of a world torn apart.]]>
624 Sarah J. Maas 1619634465 Melanie 3 A Court of Thorns and Roses ★★★★

[2023 reread] ★★★
for years and years, i have said this was sjm’s best book and the only book of hers that i had given five stars to >.< !! i fully thought i would give this five stars again upon reread, but here we are with a three star rating and a lot of feelings. but i had a lot of fun with this, and i truly do think this book is doing and talking about a lot of important things and i never want to lessen that! but as far as enjoyment goes, i just didn’t have as good of a time rereading this, which shocked me extra, because i had such a good time rereading acotar last month!

i loved seeing the inner circle for the first time once again, and truly i love those characters so much. amren, morrigan, azriel, cassian, it was just great being back with them in velaris (iykyk - this was the biggest reason i wanted to reread this series), and i adored every scene with nesta and elain. but honestly, i think for me the side characters just all really outshined feyre and rhysand and their romance - i can’t believe i typed that, but it is true. sjm’s books are always too long, but jesus did this one feel extra long sometimes. ahhhhh, i still think the end of this book is five star worthy. i remember losing my mind finishing that last chapter seven years ago lol. and i know mor and nesta are five star worthy on their own! and i just really love exploring all the new courts and places in this world, too! i am obviously a little disappointed, but i am still very excited to reread acowar... hopefully soon!

trigger + content warnings: ptsd depictions, trauma, murder, death, blood, vomit, nightmares, captivity, panic attacks, slavery, talk of weight loss, heavy war themes and talk of war, abuse and domestic abuse, invasion of mind magically, mentions and talk of rape in past, depression depiction, suicidal thoughts, torture, heavy child abuse in past, drugging, less of parents in past

[2016 first read] ★★★★★




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4.59 2016 A Court of Mist and Fury (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #2)
author: Sarah J. Maas
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.59
book published: 2016
rating: 3
read at: 2023/08/03
date added: 2023/08/03
shelves: fae, fantasy, read-in-2016, retellings, romance, signed, new-adult, magic, read-in-2023, audiobook
review:
1.) A Court of Thorns and Roses ★★★★

[2023 reread] ★★★
for years and years, i have said this was sjm’s best book and the only book of hers that i had given five stars to >.< !! i fully thought i would give this five stars again upon reread, but here we are with a three star rating and a lot of feelings. but i had a lot of fun with this, and i truly do think this book is doing and talking about a lot of important things and i never want to lessen that! but as far as enjoyment goes, i just didn’t have as good of a time rereading this, which shocked me extra, because i had such a good time rereading acotar last month!

i loved seeing the inner circle for the first time once again, and truly i love those characters so much. amren, morrigan, azriel, cassian, it was just great being back with them in velaris (iykyk - this was the biggest reason i wanted to reread this series), and i adored every scene with nesta and elain. but honestly, i think for me the side characters just all really outshined feyre and rhysand and their romance - i can’t believe i typed that, but it is true. sjm’s books are always too long, but jesus did this one feel extra long sometimes. ahhhhh, i still think the end of this book is five star worthy. i remember losing my mind finishing that last chapter seven years ago lol. and i know mor and nesta are five star worthy on their own! and i just really love exploring all the new courts and places in this world, too! i am obviously a little disappointed, but i am still very excited to reread acowar... hopefully soon!

trigger + content warnings: ptsd depictions, trauma, murder, death, blood, vomit, nightmares, captivity, panic attacks, slavery, talk of weight loss, heavy war themes and talk of war, abuse and domestic abuse, invasion of mind magically, mentions and talk of rape in past, depression depiction, suicidal thoughts, torture, heavy child abuse in past, drugging, less of parents in past

[2016 first read] ★★★★★




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Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 3 29498999
Princess Yona lives an ideal life as the only princess of her kingdom. Doted on by her father, the king, and protected by her faithful guard Hak, she cherishes the time spent with the man she loves, Su-won. But everything changes on her 16th birthday when tragedy strikes her family!

Yona and Hak set out on a journey to find a priest who can see the future. After they get severely injured falling from a cliff, a boy named Yun and his guardian Ik-su nurse them back to health—and Ik-su happens to be a priest! When Yona tells him that she wishes to protect the lives of those who are precious to her, what path will Ik-su show her?]]>
192 Mizuho Kusanagi 142158784X Melanie 3 vol. 1 ★★★★
vol. 2 ★★★

“I hate the thought of dying from something I could have avoided... But losing you would be even worse.”

oh i really loved learning about the four dragons, and four gifts, and four dragon warriors destined to protect the crimson dragon king so very much! i feel like this third installment really showed where the series is headed and i absolutely cannot wait.

and very in love with gija + granny ;___; so sweet. i can't wait to make it back to this legendary village one day.

tw/cw: blood, sickness, hunting/animal death (bird)

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4.35 2010 Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 3
author: Mizuho Kusanagi
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.35
book published: 2010
rating: 3
read at: 2023/07/31
date added: 2023/07/31
shelves: manga-and-light-novels, read-in-2023, dragons, fantasy
review:
vol. 1 ★★★★
vol. 2 ★★★

“I hate the thought of dying from something I could have avoided... But losing you would be even worse.”

oh i really loved learning about the four dragons, and four gifts, and four dragon warriors destined to protect the crimson dragon king so very much! i feel like this third installment really showed where the series is headed and i absolutely cannot wait.

and very in love with gija + granny ;___; so sweet. i can't wait to make it back to this legendary village one day.

tw/cw: blood, sickness, hunting/animal death (bird)

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]]>
<![CDATA[A Court of Thorns and Roses (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #1)]]> 16096824
Dragged to a magical kingdom for the murder of a faerie, Feyre discovers that her captor, his face obscured by a jewelled mask, is hiding far more than his piercing green eyes would suggest. Feyre's presence at the court is closely guarded, and as she begins to learn why, her feelings for him turn from hostility to passion and the faerie lands become an even more dangerous place. Feyre must fight to break an ancient curse, or she will lose him forever.]]>
419 Sarah J. Maas 1619634449 Melanie 4 [2023 reread] ★★★★
i simply cannot believe it has been eight years since i read acotar for the very first time. i really didn’t know what to expect going into this reread, but truly i left it being very surprised and very happy. sjm really foreshadows so much of what is to come - i was impressed. also, i think i had just forgotten how good sarah can write a setting. all these different places and fae courts, being described and imagined, i could so easily and viscerally see and feel them in my head.

some brief notes that i wrote down, and that made my heart very happy: nesta will always be that girl, i am sorry. oh, the scene with the suriel? very insane to read. i forgot she really did that third task, so i was screaming while reading that. my god, the jurian ring. alis is for sure the mvp of this story. the scene where lucien was hiding feyre between him and the window, while tamlin glamors them? i had forgotten about that scene and it really gave me a giggle. obviously, rhysand is the ultimate fae book love interest for a reason. but reading the end of this book, and knowing what i know, was a very insane experience.

i have read everything that sarah has published, and for me this series will always just be the best. i truly think this holds up in 2023, and i for sure appreciated it a lot more this second time around (and knowing everything that is yet to transpire)! i had an amazing time with this reread and i cannot wait to experience the night court for the very first time again.

trigger + content warnings: starvation, toxic home, abandonment, hunting / animal death, blood, blight, loss of parent in past, grief depiction, vomit, violence, slavery, mention of domestic abuse, torture, talk of war, murder, death, mention of mass children's deaths, ptsd, trauma, invasion of someone's mind with magic, drugging, sexual assault, captivity, self harm to get blood.

[2015 first read] ★★★★




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4.17 2015 A Court of Thorns and Roses (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #1)
author: Sarah J. Maas
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.17
book published: 2015
rating: 4
read at: 2023/07/14
date added: 2023/07/29
shelves: signed, read-in-2015, fae, retellings, fantasy, romance, new-adult, magic, read-in-2023, audiobook
review:
[2023 reread] ★★★★
i simply cannot believe it has been eight years since i read acotar for the very first time. i really didn’t know what to expect going into this reread, but truly i left it being very surprised and very happy. sjm really foreshadows so much of what is to come - i was impressed. also, i think i had just forgotten how good sarah can write a setting. all these different places and fae courts, being described and imagined, i could so easily and viscerally see and feel them in my head.

some brief notes that i wrote down, and that made my heart very happy: nesta will always be that girl, i am sorry. oh, the scene with the suriel? very insane to read. i forgot she really did that third task, so i was screaming while reading that. my god, the jurian ring. alis is for sure the mvp of this story. the scene where lucien was hiding feyre between him and the window, while tamlin glamors them? i had forgotten about that scene and it really gave me a giggle. obviously, rhysand is the ultimate fae book love interest for a reason. but reading the end of this book, and knowing what i know, was a very insane experience.

i have read everything that sarah has published, and for me this series will always just be the best. i truly think this holds up in 2023, and i for sure appreciated it a lot more this second time around (and knowing everything that is yet to transpire)! i had an amazing time with this reread and i cannot wait to experience the night court for the very first time again.

trigger + content warnings: starvation, toxic home, abandonment, hunting / animal death, blood, blight, loss of parent in past, grief depiction, vomit, violence, slavery, mention of domestic abuse, torture, talk of war, murder, death, mention of mass children's deaths, ptsd, trauma, invasion of someone's mind with magic, drugging, sexual assault, captivity, self harm to get blood.

[2015 first read] ★★★★




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<![CDATA[King of Pride (Kings of Sin, #2)]]> 62994279 She's his opposite in every way...and the greatest temptation he's ever known.

Reserved, controlled, and proper to a fault, Kai Young has neither the time nor inclination for chaos—and Isabella, with her purple hair and inappropriate jokes, is chaos personified.

With a crucial CEO vote looming and a media empire at stake, the billionaire heir can’t afford the distraction she brings.

Isabella is everything he shouldn’t want, but with every look and every touch, he’s tempted to break all his rules…and claim her as his own.

***

Bold, impulsive, and full of life, Isabella Valencia has never met a party she doesn’t like or a man she couldn’t charm...except for Kai Young.

It shouldn’t matter. He’s not her type—the man translates classics into Latin for fun, and his membership at the exclusive club where she bartends means he’s strictly off limits.

But she can’t deny that, beneath his cool exterior, is a man who could make her melt with just a touch.

No matter how hard they try, they can’t resist giving into their forbidden desires.

Even if it costs them everything.

King of Pride is a steamy opposite attract, forbidden billionaire romance. It's book two in the Kings of Sin series but can be read as a standalone.

Contains explicit content and profanity. Recommended for mature readers only.
]]>
358 Ana Huang Melanie 3 King of Wrath ★★★★

“Just knowing you existed somewhere in this world was enough.”

i am so sad that i didn’t love this one as much as book one in this series. and ana even gave me a filipino main character - who i loved and adored so very much. the love interest even gave her a secret library to write in (with a book reading scene that will not be forgotten by me)! but even though this was an enjoyable read for me, i did feel like it dragged a lot at times. or maybe the “big secret reveal” just was a little too wild for me and the build up of it throughout this book. but i just love this author, everything she is doing and giving to the book world, and i still had a good time with this story! i will for sure be picking up book three this fall!

trigger + content warnings: loss of parent in the past, assault (unwanted grab), grief, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, mention of drug use + overdose, stalking, paparazzi (unwanted photos being taken without consent), gun violence, blood, blackmail, infidelity in past, mention of medical misdiagnosis mentioning a tumor.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★]]>
3.92 2023 King of Pride (Kings of Sin, #2)
author: Ana Huang
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.92
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/07/22
date added: 2023/07/24
shelves: contemporary, romance, adult, read-in-2023
review:
1.) King of Wrath ★★★★

“Just knowing you existed somewhere in this world was enough.”

i am so sad that i didn’t love this one as much as book one in this series. and ana even gave me a filipino main character - who i loved and adored so very much. the love interest even gave her a secret library to write in (with a book reading scene that will not be forgotten by me)! but even though this was an enjoyable read for me, i did feel like it dragged a lot at times. or maybe the “big secret reveal” just was a little too wild for me and the build up of it throughout this book. but i just love this author, everything she is doing and giving to the book world, and i still had a good time with this story! i will for sure be picking up book three this fall!

trigger + content warnings: loss of parent in the past, assault (unwanted grab), grief, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, mention of drug use + overdose, stalking, paparazzi (unwanted photos being taken without consent), gun violence, blood, blackmail, infidelity in past, mention of medical misdiagnosis mentioning a tumor.

| | | | |

Twisted Love ★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[Peach Pit: Sixteen Stories of Unsavory Women]]> 104625853
A middle-aged Black woman exacts revenge on the aggressively average men she meets on dating sites. A girl buries pieces of herself in a hole beneath an apple tree, hoping to escape her mother’s life of struggle and servitude. A group of teenage girls compete for the title of "Worst Girl in America.” A young woman in Taiwan becomes infatuated with a female scam caller, a fleeting ghost of a love that blossoms from strangeness. And a wealthy woman goes to unconventional, and perhaps not entirely ethical, lengths to find her dream man.

In these sixteen stories, we see women at their most monstrous—as con artists and murderers, cutthroats and scalpers, ruled by ambition and grief and spite. Characters for those tired of being told to play nice. Dressed to the nines in morally gray, the stories in this anthology comprise an envelope full of teeth: each one distinct, unsettling, and sharp enough to rip out a throat.]]>
256 Molly Llewellyn 1950539873 Melanie 3 ARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss

i am always gonna be here for unsavory women and their unsavory adventures :)

down below are my individual ratings, feelings, favorite quotes, trigger + content warnings, and my personal interpretations of each story in this collection!

━━♡ fuckboy museum - deesha philyaw ★★★★

“That should have been the end of it. But when do mediocre men ever go away quietly?”

oh i really enjoyed this one and i love how this was the start of this anthology, too. truly, it set such a good vibe and tone for what is to come. i do not want to say too much about this one, because a lot of my enjoyment came from how this mystery slowly comes together! but this one is about a woman trying to find companionship after a divorce through a lot of different dating sites and apps... and with a lot of fuckboys.

tw/cw: brief mention of police racism + brutality, mention of loss of a father in past, brief mentions of infidelity (not mc), one sentence mention of cancer, death, and murder

━━♡ caller - k-ming chang ★★★★

“Outside, the rain was repeating us, saying my words to the pavement: please, please.”

i do not think this one will be for everyone, because it reads very stream of consciousness, but the writing just completely hypnotized me in the best way. this asian-american sapphic phone call scammer romance, with a prose that that felt like poetry, ending up really working for me.

tw/cw: blood, talk of excreta + toilet phobias, hypochondria + cyberchondria, and talk of terrible work conditions

━━♡ all you have is your fire - yah yah scholfield ★★★★

“She was drawn to these books—girls with powers, girls who were monstrous, girls who had the potential to be terrible and violent things.”

the hurt, anger, and rage i was able to feel so powerfully through these so few pages. truly some of the best writing i've experienced in a long while. this was a heavy one, and a very raw one, and left a very big impact on me. sometimes setting fire to everything might look like madness, but most of the time the only way to rebuild is to burn everything else down.

tw/cw: child abuse, abusive parents, neglect, captivity, suicide attempt + ideation, fire

━━♡ the other you - maisy card ★★★

“You can feel the internal prayer the woman recites, hoping he will come.”

this was a really unique short story, that was beautifully written, about a woman going back to jamaica, and needing to desperately tell a story to another woman. to me, this was a story about how women blame themselves for the wrongs that men do.

tw/cw: infidelity, abandonment

━━♡ maps - vanessa chan

i recognize what this was trying to do with media and the world only showing us "good survivors", and i am sure this story could help someone out there after horrible things were done to them, but this was truly to the worst thing i've read all year. i highly recommend skipping this one and/or checking the warnings below.

tw/cw: incest, pedophilia, grooming, sexual abuse to children, parental abuse, suicide, loss of a loved one, mention of cancer, loss of a parent, disordered eating, bulimia, vomit, pica, fatphobia, bullying in past, talk of excreta

━━♡ aquafina - chana porter ★★★

“If I drown in this ocean tell my mother I’m still angry
If I drown in this ocean tell my body it’s okay to rest.”

the writing in this one was very beautiful to me, and i found that i wanted even more upon finishing this short story. this one gives you a lot within these few pages, but leaves the reader questioning what they are reading throughout the entire experience. i had a very good time with this one and i would love to read more from this author.

tw/cw: sexual harassment, talk of disordered eating, negative body image thoughts, intrusive thoughts, rape mention, cancer mention, abuse mention, murder, drowning, suicide ideation

━━♡ a scholarship opportunity - megan giddings ★★★

“Being the worse girl means, at least, I'll be remembered”

we really live in a world where kids who are only seventeen, are forced to figure out who they want to be, in a world where everyone not only expects them to choose and know before they can even vote, but also expects them to fit in the boxes they are already putting them in. and this can feel extra suffocating when parents also have been impacted by the expectations of society and the world. sometimes being "bad" is the only way to feel like you can get some agency over yourself + future. also, college is expensive and kids need any and all scholarships lol

tw/cw: brief body image talk in a negative light + mention of excreta

━━♡ sick - alicia elliott ★★★

“If she wanted either of us to be that kind of daughter, she should have been that kind of mother.”

this one is hard for me to rate, because i really enjoyed exploring munchausen (something i think i have never read about before) and how childhood manipulation can make for adults who are still easily manipulated and abused by their parents. but i just wish we could have seen a little more of the ending, and a little more of our main characters past friendship.

tw/cw: parental manipulation, gaslighting, trauma, munchausen, talk of debt, bullying in past, talk of cancer, negative body image/appearance talk, talk of infidelity

━━♡ ms wrong - chantal v johnson ★ / dnf

i just really had a hard time connecting + enjoying this one. this mc was truly too unsavory for me.

tw/cw: talk of rape + drugging

━━♡ holes - alice ash ★★

i like the discussion on mother daughter relationships, and being trapped in cycles and feeling buried by the weight of the world and the expectations society places on you and your family at birth. but the writing of this one was just really not for me.

tw/cw: assault/unwanted touching, self harm, blood, brief diet mention, insects

━━♡ manifestation - sarah rose etter ★★★

“I always thought evil hung in the sky above our heads, the black whorl of it, a portal to darkness. That’s where storms came from—when the evil got too great and God had to release some of it down on us. We had to pay a little bit for it.”

i really enjoyed this story being told to the reader, and the switch of perspective mid story was very powerful. my friend, who i am buddy reading this anthology with, talked about switching out the manifestation for religion and it extra blew my mind a little. i had a good time with this one and i think, sadly, a lot of us probably know and see people like the first perspective of this tale.

tw/cw: nightmares, self harm, forced hospitalization, weight loss mention

━━♡ buffalo - alison rumfitt ★★★

this one is for sure horror, so please use caution going in. we follow a woman who is experiencing extreme transphobia in her new town, because of a serial killer who is skinning women alive. this story is about her choosing to go after the serial killer... and the story is told to you, the serial killer. this last year, i have thought a lot about queer people reclaiming the horror genre through story telling, and this, to me, talks about the harm (and hate and violence) horror movies and media cause to queer people - like buffalo bill from the silence of the lambs. and the immense power in reclaiming and rewriting those harmful stories. i thought this was very smart, and i am very interested to read more from this author, but i just wasn't in love with the writing or format of this. but i really appreciated what the author was doing.

tw/cw: murder, rape mentions, mutilation mentions, graphic violence mentioned, transphobia, transphobic and homophobic slurs, blood, harassment, stalking, doxing mention, police causing harm

━━♡ composition - aliya whiteley ★★★★
“They ask me where I have been, and I tell them travelling. They understand that. They have grown through the dark themselves.”

i think this story will be my favorite in the collection for so many reasons. but a main character who has powers over bacteria? one of the coolest and more unique things ive seen in a while. i hope this author gives the world a full length story inspired off this short version, because i think they are very galaxy brain for that idea. the writing was also beautiful, the story entrancing, and i was left wanting more in the best way possible.

tw/cw: suicide, insects, animal death (bird), death, loss a sibling.

━━♡ the monolith - chaya bhuvaneswar ★★ / dnf

i just couldn't get through the writing of this one, sadly. this is about med students, in an oncology department, and the story is told through a truly insufferable person's perspective.

tw/cw: microaggressions, colorism, cancer mentions, talk of treatment, power imbalances

━━♡ the devil's doorbell - amanda leduc ★★

no one is more surprised than myself that a sapphic relationship with the devil didn't work out for me, but here we are. i feel the the base of this story was enjoyable, but a few sentences were just too uncomfortable in a way i didn't want to be uncomfortable.

tw/cw: death, gore, attempted incest in a story mention, a weird comment about a 6 year old, ableist term (in a reclaimed use)

━━♡ amaranth - lauren groff ★★
“We die; we leave ghosts of ourselves behind. Voices on answering machines, bodies on video, fragments of souls in handwriting.”

i was interested throughout reading this, and i thought the writing was good, but i just didn't love the story. this is a story about grief and the dark form that can accompany it, but also a story about years of wanting revenge. maybe because disordered eating played such a big part in this, and that is something that i don't love reading about, but sadly this anthology didn't end on the best note for me.

tw/cw: loss of a parent, grief, depression, a lot of talk and mentions of disordered eating / anorexia, self harm, blood, hospitalization, infidelity

| | | | |

The quotes above were taken from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.

━━♡ buddy read with evie]]>
3.56 2023 Peach Pit: Sixteen Stories of Unsavory Women
author: Molly Llewellyn
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.56
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/07/13
date added: 2023/07/13
shelves: anthologies, arc, buddy-reads, read-in-2023, lgbtqiap, adult
review:
ARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss

i am always gonna be here for unsavory women and their unsavory adventures :)

down below are my individual ratings, feelings, favorite quotes, trigger + content warnings, and my personal interpretations of each story in this collection!

━━♡ fuckboy museum - deesha philyaw ★★★★

“That should have been the end of it. But when do mediocre men ever go away quietly?”

oh i really enjoyed this one and i love how this was the start of this anthology, too. truly, it set such a good vibe and tone for what is to come. i do not want to say too much about this one, because a lot of my enjoyment came from how this mystery slowly comes together! but this one is about a woman trying to find companionship after a divorce through a lot of different dating sites and apps... and with a lot of fuckboys.

tw/cw: brief mention of police racism + brutality, mention of loss of a father in past, brief mentions of infidelity (not mc), one sentence mention of cancer, death, and murder

━━♡ caller - k-ming chang ★★★★

“Outside, the rain was repeating us, saying my words to the pavement: please, please.”

i do not think this one will be for everyone, because it reads very stream of consciousness, but the writing just completely hypnotized me in the best way. this asian-american sapphic phone call scammer romance, with a prose that that felt like poetry, ending up really working for me.

tw/cw: blood, talk of excreta + toilet phobias, hypochondria + cyberchondria, and talk of terrible work conditions

━━♡ all you have is your fire - yah yah scholfield ★★★★

“She was drawn to these books—girls with powers, girls who were monstrous, girls who had the potential to be terrible and violent things.”

the hurt, anger, and rage i was able to feel so powerfully through these so few pages. truly some of the best writing i've experienced in a long while. this was a heavy one, and a very raw one, and left a very big impact on me. sometimes setting fire to everything might look like madness, but most of the time the only way to rebuild is to burn everything else down.

tw/cw: child abuse, abusive parents, neglect, captivity, suicide attempt + ideation, fire

━━♡ the other you - maisy card ★★★

“You can feel the internal prayer the woman recites, hoping he will come.”

this was a really unique short story, that was beautifully written, about a woman going back to jamaica, and needing to desperately tell a story to another woman. to me, this was a story about how women blame themselves for the wrongs that men do.

tw/cw: infidelity, abandonment

━━♡ maps - vanessa chan

i recognize what this was trying to do with media and the world only showing us "good survivors", and i am sure this story could help someone out there after horrible things were done to them, but this was truly to the worst thing i've read all year. i highly recommend skipping this one and/or checking the warnings below.

tw/cw: incest, pedophilia, grooming, sexual abuse to children, parental abuse, suicide, loss of a loved one, mention of cancer, loss of a parent, disordered eating, bulimia, vomit, pica, fatphobia, bullying in past, talk of excreta

━━♡ aquafina - chana porter ★★★

“If I drown in this ocean tell my mother I’m still angry
If I drown in this ocean tell my body it’s okay to rest.”

the writing in this one was very beautiful to me, and i found that i wanted even more upon finishing this short story. this one gives you a lot within these few pages, but leaves the reader questioning what they are reading throughout the entire experience. i had a very good time with this one and i would love to read more from this author.

tw/cw: sexual harassment, talk of disordered eating, negative body image thoughts, intrusive thoughts, rape mention, cancer mention, abuse mention, murder, drowning, suicide ideation

━━♡ a scholarship opportunity - megan giddings ★★★

“Being the worse girl means, at least, I'll be remembered”

we really live in a world where kids who are only seventeen, are forced to figure out who they want to be, in a world where everyone not only expects them to choose and know before they can even vote, but also expects them to fit in the boxes they are already putting them in. and this can feel extra suffocating when parents also have been impacted by the expectations of society and the world. sometimes being "bad" is the only way to feel like you can get some agency over yourself + future. also, college is expensive and kids need any and all scholarships lol

tw/cw: brief body image talk in a negative light + mention of excreta

━━♡ sick - alicia elliott ★★★

“If she wanted either of us to be that kind of daughter, she should have been that kind of mother.”

this one is hard for me to rate, because i really enjoyed exploring munchausen (something i think i have never read about before) and how childhood manipulation can make for adults who are still easily manipulated and abused by their parents. but i just wish we could have seen a little more of the ending, and a little more of our main characters past friendship.

tw/cw: parental manipulation, gaslighting, trauma, munchausen, talk of debt, bullying in past, talk of cancer, negative body image/appearance talk, talk of infidelity

━━♡ ms wrong - chantal v johnson ★ / dnf

i just really had a hard time connecting + enjoying this one. this mc was truly too unsavory for me.

tw/cw: talk of rape + drugging

━━♡ holes - alice ash ★★

i like the discussion on mother daughter relationships, and being trapped in cycles and feeling buried by the weight of the world and the expectations society places on you and your family at birth. but the writing of this one was just really not for me.

tw/cw: assault/unwanted touching, self harm, blood, brief diet mention, insects

━━♡ manifestation - sarah rose etter ★★★

“I always thought evil hung in the sky above our heads, the black whorl of it, a portal to darkness. That’s where storms came from—when the evil got too great and God had to release some of it down on us. We had to pay a little bit for it.”

i really enjoyed this story being told to the reader, and the switch of perspective mid story was very powerful. my friend, who i am buddy reading this anthology with, talked about switching out the manifestation for religion and it extra blew my mind a little. i had a good time with this one and i think, sadly, a lot of us probably know and see people like the first perspective of this tale.

tw/cw: nightmares, self harm, forced hospitalization, weight loss mention

━━♡ buffalo - alison rumfitt ★★★

this one is for sure horror, so please use caution going in. we follow a woman who is experiencing extreme transphobia in her new town, because of a serial killer who is skinning women alive. this story is about her choosing to go after the serial killer... and the story is told to you, the serial killer. this last year, i have thought a lot about queer people reclaiming the horror genre through story telling, and this, to me, talks about the harm (and hate and violence) horror movies and media cause to queer people - like buffalo bill from the silence of the lambs. and the immense power in reclaiming and rewriting those harmful stories. i thought this was very smart, and i am very interested to read more from this author, but i just wasn't in love with the writing or format of this. but i really appreciated what the author was doing.

tw/cw: murder, rape mentions, mutilation mentions, graphic violence mentioned, transphobia, transphobic and homophobic slurs, blood, harassment, stalking, doxing mention, police causing harm

━━♡ composition - aliya whiteley ★★★★
“They ask me where I have been, and I tell them travelling. They understand that. They have grown through the dark themselves.”

i think this story will be my favorite in the collection for so many reasons. but a main character who has powers over bacteria? one of the coolest and more unique things ive seen in a while. i hope this author gives the world a full length story inspired off this short version, because i think they are very galaxy brain for that idea. the writing was also beautiful, the story entrancing, and i was left wanting more in the best way possible.

tw/cw: suicide, insects, animal death (bird), death, loss a sibling.

━━♡ the monolith - chaya bhuvaneswar ★★ / dnf

i just couldn't get through the writing of this one, sadly. this is about med students, in an oncology department, and the story is told through a truly insufferable person's perspective.

tw/cw: microaggressions, colorism, cancer mentions, talk of treatment, power imbalances

━━♡ the devil's doorbell - amanda leduc ★★

no one is more surprised than myself that a sapphic relationship with the devil didn't work out for me, but here we are. i feel the the base of this story was enjoyable, but a few sentences were just too uncomfortable in a way i didn't want to be uncomfortable.

tw/cw: death, gore, attempted incest in a story mention, a weird comment about a 6 year old, ableist term (in a reclaimed use)

━━♡ amaranth - lauren groff ★★
“We die; we leave ghosts of ourselves behind. Voices on answering machines, bodies on video, fragments of souls in handwriting.”

i was interested throughout reading this, and i thought the writing was good, but i just didn't love the story. this is a story about grief and the dark form that can accompany it, but also a story about years of wanting revenge. maybe because disordered eating played such a big part in this, and that is something that i don't love reading about, but sadly this anthology didn't end on the best note for me.

tw/cw: loss of a parent, grief, depression, a lot of talk and mentions of disordered eating / anorexia, self harm, blood, hospitalization, infidelity

| | | | |

The quotes above were taken from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.

━━♡ buddy read with evie
]]>
<![CDATA[Flawless (Chestnut Springs, #1)]]> 60755618 The rules were simple . . .
Keep my hands off his daughter and stay out of trouble.

But now I’m stuck with her . . . And there’s only one bed . . .
Oh well, rules are made -- to be broken . . . aren't they?

I’m the face of professional bull riding -- the golden boy.
Or at least I was, until it all blew up in my face.
Now my agent says I have to clean up my image, so I’m stuck with his ball-busting daughter for the rest of the season as my “full-time supervision.”

But I don’t need a goddamn babysitter --
especially one with skin-tight jeans, a sexy smirk,
and a mouth she can’t stop running.

A mouth I just can’t stop thinking about . . .

Because Summer isn’t just another conquest.
She sees the man behind the mask, and she doesn’t run --
she pulls me closer, even when she shouldn’t.

She says this means nothing -- but I say this means everything.

She says there are boundaries we shouldn’t cross.
That my reputation can’t take any more hits -- and neither can her damaged heart.

I say I’m going to steal it anyway.
]]>
424 Elsie Silver Melanie 4
“And seeing her happy? Seeing her happy is everything. And I’m happy too, because I get to be stuck in her orbit for the rest of my life.”

okay friends, you all are two for two with hyped up booktok romances! i really enjoyed this one so much, and it was so much more than just a romance (please check my tw/cw down below)! This is a forced proximity romance involving a professional bull rider who got in to trouble and now his sponsorships are at risk, and the daughter of his manager who now has the job to watch him and make sure he doesn’t get into any more trouble before a big championship in vegas! (unrelated but i live outside of vegas, and the author sounded very knowledgeable about this profession, so i looked it up and we really do have this each october lol!)

oh also, this is a little bit of an age gap romance, and our mc had a crush on the bull rider when she was younger, and i thought this was a super cute element too! but basically, she moves on to the ranch with him and his family (the other brothers are the following books in this series, i do believe) and we get to see them slowly and stubbornly fall for one another. also, both of their dads were my favorite characters and seeing them realize they were falling for each other before they did? my heart was melting a little, i wont lie.

i loved the small town setting, i adored their romance (and the bed of the truck scenes ]]>
4.06 2022 Flawless (Chestnut Springs, #1)
author: Elsie Silver
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.06
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2023/06/30
date added: 2023/07/08
shelves: read-in-2023, romance, contemporary, adult
review:
“And seeing her happy? Seeing her happy is everything. And I’m happy too, because I get to be stuck in her orbit for the rest of my life.”

okay friends, you all are two for two with hyped up booktok romances! i really enjoyed this one so much, and it was so much more than just a romance (please check my tw/cw down below)! This is a forced proximity romance involving a professional bull rider who got in to trouble and now his sponsorships are at risk, and the daughter of his manager who now has the job to watch him and make sure he doesn’t get into any more trouble before a big championship in vegas! (unrelated but i live outside of vegas, and the author sounded very knowledgeable about this profession, so i looked it up and we really do have this each october lol!)

oh also, this is a little bit of an age gap romance, and our mc had a crush on the bull rider when she was younger, and i thought this was a super cute element too! but basically, she moves on to the ranch with him and his family (the other brothers are the following books in this series, i do believe) and we get to see them slowly and stubbornly fall for one another. also, both of their dads were my favorite characters and seeing them realize they were falling for each other before they did? my heart was melting a little, i wont lie.

i loved the small town setting, i adored their romance (and the bed of the truck scenes
]]>
<![CDATA[Heartless (Chestnut Springs, #2)]]> 61373532 Working as a nanny for the world’s grumpiest single dad should have been simple. Except I can’t keep my eyes off him. And he can’t keep his hands off of me.

Cade Eaton is thirteen years older than I am and barely looks my way. Until I get him into the hot tub one night for a game of truth or dare. Then all bets are off—and so are our clothes.

He’s gruff, a little rough around the edges. But broad-shouldered ranchers with calloused hands and filthy mouths are this city girl’s kryptonite. So who am I to resist?

But it’s in our quiet moments together that he softens. It’s when he takes care of me that I realize his hardened exterior is just a façade. It’s when I watch him go all sweet with his little boy that I really fall for him.

Someone convinced him once that his best wasn’t good enough. But I’ve never felt more cherished than I do in his arms.

My contract may say this arrangement is only for two months.

But my heart says this is forever.
]]>
476 Elsie Silver Melanie 4 Flawless ★★★★

i’ll be honest, the reason i really wanted to read flawless was because so many friends promised me that i would adore the second book in this series. and they weren’t wrong. but i think the reasons why i really enjoyed this one actually ended up surprising me.

this is a grumpy sunshine, age gap, single dad romance between said dad and the nanny he reluctantly hires for the summer (who also happens to be the main character from flawless’ best friend)! i am not even sure if i’ve ever read a single dad romance before, but seeing this child, whose mom has up and left, also fall in love with this nanny who makes him feel safe and loved and happy… it just really melted and healed my heart so very much. this book very unexpectedly got a lot of tears out of me. And that last page? that was so beautiful oh my gosh.

okay but the nanny, willa? maybe a new all time favorite romance heroine for me. i loved all her little moments in the first book of this series, i loved her in the first scene in the coffee shop, and she just kept making me fall more and more in love with her, too. i feel like a lot of authors try to make quirky characters, and they just end up being kind of annoying and not enjoyable to read, but willa was the best kind of quirky. she honestly felt very real to me, and just was truly pure sunshine to read. i won’t lie, cade took me a little bit to warm up to (this could be because grumpy sunshine will never be a favorite trope of mine)! but willa made up for this wholeheartedly! but cade + rhett’s dad is still my favorite character! lol >.<

i can’t believe i read two back to back cowboy romances while trying to get a bunch of mid year content up on my blog, but it was a fun time and i do think i will give this third book a try soon, too!

trigger + content warnings (be careful - some plots will be somewhat spoiled with these): loss of a parent in past, abandonment, infidelity in past mentions, scene of bullying, vomit, anxiety, panic attacks, mention of miscarriage, surprise pregnancy, hospital setting, birth, birth trauma, and mention of a character from harry potter.

i don't really know how to say this as a warning well, but this book has a few sentences that felt so terrible to read, because the phrases are rooted in homophobia, misogyny, and weird gross feeling gender stereotypes. stuff like this makes me so upset because it would be so easy for a good beta reader to catch these, because they added nothing to the story but put a gross taste in my mouth. examples: mention of “feminine hobbies”, a guy telling another guy to “eat a dick”, and again, like in the first book, weird commentary on men that enjoy manicures.

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4.39 2022 Heartless (Chestnut Springs, #2)
author: Elsie Silver
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.39
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2023/07/04
date added: 2023/07/08
shelves: contemporary, romance, read-in-2023, adult
review:
1.) Flawless ★★★★

i’ll be honest, the reason i really wanted to read flawless was because so many friends promised me that i would adore the second book in this series. and they weren’t wrong. but i think the reasons why i really enjoyed this one actually ended up surprising me.

this is a grumpy sunshine, age gap, single dad romance between said dad and the nanny he reluctantly hires for the summer (who also happens to be the main character from flawless’ best friend)! i am not even sure if i’ve ever read a single dad romance before, but seeing this child, whose mom has up and left, also fall in love with this nanny who makes him feel safe and loved and happy… it just really melted and healed my heart so very much. this book very unexpectedly got a lot of tears out of me. And that last page? that was so beautiful oh my gosh.

okay but the nanny, willa? maybe a new all time favorite romance heroine for me. i loved all her little moments in the first book of this series, i loved her in the first scene in the coffee shop, and she just kept making me fall more and more in love with her, too. i feel like a lot of authors try to make quirky characters, and they just end up being kind of annoying and not enjoyable to read, but willa was the best kind of quirky. she honestly felt very real to me, and just was truly pure sunshine to read. i won’t lie, cade took me a little bit to warm up to (this could be because grumpy sunshine will never be a favorite trope of mine)! but willa made up for this wholeheartedly! but cade + rhett’s dad is still my favorite character! lol >.<

i can’t believe i read two back to back cowboy romances while trying to get a bunch of mid year content up on my blog, but it was a fun time and i do think i will give this third book a try soon, too!

trigger + content warnings (be careful - some plots will be somewhat spoiled with these): loss of a parent in past, abandonment, infidelity in past mentions, scene of bullying, vomit, anxiety, panic attacks, mention of miscarriage, surprise pregnancy, hospital setting, birth, birth trauma, and mention of a character from harry potter.

i don't really know how to say this as a warning well, but this book has a few sentences that felt so terrible to read, because the phrases are rooted in homophobia, misogyny, and weird gross feeling gender stereotypes. stuff like this makes me so upset because it would be so easy for a good beta reader to catch these, because they added nothing to the story but put a gross taste in my mouth. examples: mention of “feminine hobbies”, a guy telling another guy to “eat a dick”, and again, like in the first book, weird commentary on men that enjoy manicures.

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<![CDATA[The Malevolent Seven (The Malevolent Seven, #1)]]> 61124074
Picture a wizard. Go ahead, close your eyes. There he is, see? Skinny old guy with a long straggly beard. No doubt he's wearing iridescent silk robes that couldn't protect his frail body from a light breeze. The hat's a must, too, right? Big, floppy thing, covered in esoteric symbols that would instantly show every other mage where this one gets his magic? Wouldn't want a simple steel helmet or something that might, you know, protect the part of him most needed for conjuring magical forces from being bashed in with a mace (or pretty much any household object).

Now open your eyes and let me show you what a  real  war mage looks like . . . but be you're probably not going to like it, because we're violent, angry, dangerously broken people who sell our skills to the highest bidder and be damned to any moral or ethical considerations.

At least, until such irritating concepts as  friendship  and  the end of the world  get in the way.

My name is Cade Ombra, and though I currently make my living as a mercenary wonderist, I used to have a far more noble-sounding job title - until I discovered the people I worked for weren't quite as noble as I'd believed. Now I'm on the run and my only friend, a homicidal thunder mage, has invited me to join him on a suicide mission against the seven deadliest mages on the continent.  

Time to recruit some very bad people to help us on this job . . .]]>
384 Sebastien de Castell 1529422779 Melanie 4
“No such thing as luck. Just angels and demons putting their thumbs on the scale.”

most of you know, sebastien is one of my all time favorite authors. i just vibe so well with this writing, his characters, his worlds, and i really think his craft feels so different than anyone else in the sff world. it truly feels like an entirely different experience starting a brand new book from him, yet i knew from the first page i would love this like the rest.

this is a story being told to you, from a narrator who is constantly questioning if he is one of the good guys or one of the bad guys. this is also a questing story where 2 war mages must recruit 5 others to complete a mysterious task that is also imperative to the existence of this world and who rules it. especially since the angels and the devils are doing everything in their power to have one last battle in the world we know.

as the reader, you will be constantly asking yourself if this world is worth saving, when so many horrible things are done by the hands of man. And how easily that is to see when humans prove they are more evil than the demons in this story throughout. oh, i didnt say that either - but this book is filled not only with war mages, but with angels and gods, demons and devils, and even a tempest and a rat mage!

i loved learning about the magic and all the mages and who everyone is working with. i loved the twists and turns that no other author can pull off the way that sebastien does. and i loved the writing that so easily teleports me with each passing sentence.

trigger + content warnings: war themes, suicide mentions, slavery, a lot of mentions of sexual abuse to children in past (not on page, but something that is brought up throughout this entire story), implied sexual abuse (not on page), captivity, compulsion, murder, death, blood, gore, talk of medical experimentation, torture, vomit, self harm, insect horror

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1.) Traitor's Blade ★★★★★
2.) Knight's Shadow ★★★★★
3.) Saint's Blood ★★★★★
4.) Tyrant's Throne ★★★★★

1.) Spellslinger ★★★★★]]>
3.90 2023 The Malevolent Seven (The Malevolent Seven, #1)
author: Sebastien de Castell
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.90
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/06/28
date added: 2023/07/01
shelves: adult, fantasy, read-in-2023, magic, signed, angels, demons
review:
“No such thing as luck. Just angels and demons putting their thumbs on the scale.”

most of you know, sebastien is one of my all time favorite authors. i just vibe so well with this writing, his characters, his worlds, and i really think his craft feels so different than anyone else in the sff world. it truly feels like an entirely different experience starting a brand new book from him, yet i knew from the first page i would love this like the rest.

this is a story being told to you, from a narrator who is constantly questioning if he is one of the good guys or one of the bad guys. this is also a questing story where 2 war mages must recruit 5 others to complete a mysterious task that is also imperative to the existence of this world and who rules it. especially since the angels and the devils are doing everything in their power to have one last battle in the world we know.

as the reader, you will be constantly asking yourself if this world is worth saving, when so many horrible things are done by the hands of man. And how easily that is to see when humans prove they are more evil than the demons in this story throughout. oh, i didnt say that either - but this book is filled not only with war mages, but with angels and gods, demons and devils, and even a tempest and a rat mage!

i loved learning about the magic and all the mages and who everyone is working with. i loved the twists and turns that no other author can pull off the way that sebastien does. and i loved the writing that so easily teleports me with each passing sentence.

trigger + content warnings: war themes, suicide mentions, slavery, a lot of mentions of sexual abuse to children in past (not on page, but something that is brought up throughout this entire story), implied sexual abuse (not on page), captivity, compulsion, murder, death, blood, gore, talk of medical experimentation, torture, vomit, self harm, insect horror

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1.) Traitor's Blade ★★★★★
2.) Knight's Shadow ★★★★★
3.) Saint's Blood ★★★★★
4.) Tyrant's Throne ★★★★★

1.) Spellslinger ★★★★★
]]>
Losers: Part I (Losers, #1) 60916772 I was supposed to have it all.

I’d been Prom Queen, Cheer Captain - high school’s most savage Queen Bee. I could have everything I wanted.
Except them. The freaks, the weirdos, the school’s ultimate losers: Manson, Jason, Lucas, and Vincent. Our hatred for each other couldn’t keep us apart, not even when my own mistake got Manson expelled and made me the ultimate villain to the rest of them.

One night was supposed to be enough.

I couldn’t resist forever. For one night I gave myself over to the men I wasn’t supposed to want and satisfied the darkest parts of my soul. But some things are meant to stay in the dark. One night, and it was over.

Nothing more than a game.

Now, with college behind me, our worlds collide yet again. Four men, all willing to share me as their plaything until my debt to them is paid. Another game to satiate my dark cravings, the twisted rules of which bring us all even closer than before. But games aren’t meant to last.

When the debt is paid and the game is done, what if I don’t want to walk away?

Although not required, it is recommended to read the novella, The Dare, prior to reading Losers.

This book is First Person, Multi POV.

This is an 18+ polyamorous bisexual romance between one woman and four men, including MF, MM, and group scenes. Reader discretion is strongly advised, this is a dark read. This book contains graphic sexual scenes, intense scenes of BDSM, graphic violence, and strong language. A full content note can be found in the front matter of the book.
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594 Harley Laroux Melanie 3 The Dare ★★★★

"His imperfection made him sacred, his strength made him holy. But the lust he inspired in me made him wicked, and the ease with which he bent me to his will was the closest thing to divinity I could imagine."

friends, i am sad because i wanted to love this so badly. especially because i loved the prequel novella so very much! But please believe that i really do love these characters, and the writing, and i love everything that this author is doing in the book world and i really respect and adore them a lot. sadly, i just didn't love the plot of this one, which i know is a funny thing to say with a book like this, and maybe my rating just has to be with the timing in which i picked this book up. but I really did enjoy a lot about this, and it is a high three star from me that i totally still recommend if you are in the right headspace and interested in the story! also, the found family and polyamory in this is very beautiful and truly some of the best (and most healing + hopeful) in the romance genre.

author content warnings at the start of the book (which i really appreciate):
Subjects include mental illness, trauma, childhood abuse (physical and emotional), body shaming (by a parent to their adult child), parental rejection, bullying, instances of homophobia/biphobia, and discussions of suicide. This book contains graphic sexual scenes, intense sequences of BDSM, graphic violence, and strong language. This book should not be used as a reference or guide for safe BDSM practices. Some activities depicted herein contain significant risk of injury and bodily harm. While all sexual scenes depicted are consensual, some scenes depict consensual non-consent (CNC) roleplaying. Other kinks include erotic degradation and humiliation, bondage, electrostimulation, domestic discipline, impact play, knife play, bodily fluids (including blood), public play, pain play, voyeurism, and pet play. Please be aware that this list is non-exhaustive. If you have any questions pertaining to these warnings, please contact the author, Harley Laroux.

cw/tw i found while reading (i am sure some repeat from the author's):
bullying, infidelity in past mentions, child abuse in past mentions, child abandonment in past mentions, abuse, homophobia (always negative), homophobic parents, mention of outing in past, drinking, drugs, anxiety depiction, ptsd depiction, a lot of trauma depiction - both past and present, loss of a parent mention, sick parent in past mention, panic attacks, blood, fighting, unwanted pictures/videos being shared, mention of murder, unwanted touching, talk of parent monitoring child’s food intake that i think could potentially be triggering, and cutting/self harm in sexual situations (this a hard tw to write, i'm sure the author + other reviews have done a better job than me, but please know something like this is in this book and use caution!)

mina's

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➽ 1.) Her Soul to Take ★★★★★
➽ 2.) Her Soul for Revenge ★★★]]>
4.23 2022 Losers: Part I (Losers, #1)
author: Harley Laroux
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.23
book published: 2022
rating: 3
read at: 2023/06/17
date added: 2023/06/19
shelves: steamy-scenes, romance, read-in-2023, adult, lgbtqiap
review:
0.5.) The Dare ★★★★

"His imperfection made him sacred, his strength made him holy. But the lust he inspired in me made him wicked, and the ease with which he bent me to his will was the closest thing to divinity I could imagine."

friends, i am sad because i wanted to love this so badly. especially because i loved the prequel novella so very much! But please believe that i really do love these characters, and the writing, and i love everything that this author is doing in the book world and i really respect and adore them a lot. sadly, i just didn't love the plot of this one, which i know is a funny thing to say with a book like this, and maybe my rating just has to be with the timing in which i picked this book up. but I really did enjoy a lot about this, and it is a high three star from me that i totally still recommend if you are in the right headspace and interested in the story! also, the found family and polyamory in this is very beautiful and truly some of the best (and most healing + hopeful) in the romance genre.

author content warnings at the start of the book (which i really appreciate):
Subjects include mental illness, trauma, childhood abuse (physical and emotional), body shaming (by a parent to their adult child), parental rejection, bullying, instances of homophobia/biphobia, and discussions of suicide. This book contains graphic sexual scenes, intense sequences of BDSM, graphic violence, and strong language. This book should not be used as a reference or guide for safe BDSM practices. Some activities depicted herein contain significant risk of injury and bodily harm. While all sexual scenes depicted are consensual, some scenes depict consensual non-consent (CNC) roleplaying. Other kinks include erotic degradation and humiliation, bondage, electrostimulation, domestic discipline, impact play, knife play, bodily fluids (including blood), public play, pain play, voyeurism, and pet play. Please be aware that this list is non-exhaustive. If you have any questions pertaining to these warnings, please contact the author, Harley Laroux.

cw/tw i found while reading (i am sure some repeat from the author's):
bullying, infidelity in past mentions, child abuse in past mentions, child abandonment in past mentions, abuse, homophobia (always negative), homophobic parents, mention of outing in past, drinking, drugs, anxiety depiction, ptsd depiction, a lot of trauma depiction - both past and present, loss of a parent mention, sick parent in past mention, panic attacks, blood, fighting, unwanted pictures/videos being shared, mention of murder, unwanted touching, talk of parent monitoring child’s food intake that i think could potentially be triggering, and cutting/self harm in sexual situations (this a hard tw to write, i'm sure the author + other reviews have done a better job than me, but please know something like this is in this book and use caution!)

mina's

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➽ 1.) Her Soul to Take ★★★★★
➽ 2.) Her Soul for Revenge ★★★
]]>
Crying in H Mart 54814676
In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer, songwriter, and guitarist. With humour and heart, she tells of growing up the only Asian-American kid at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother’s particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother’s tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food. As she grew up, moving to the east coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, performing gigs with her fledgling band – and meeting the man who would become her husband – her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live.

It was her mother’s diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer, when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her.

Vivacious, lyrical and honest, Michelle Zauner’s voice is as radiantly alive on the page as it is onstage. Rich with intimate anecdotes that will resonate widely, Crying in H Mart is a book to cherish, share, and reread.]]>
243 Michelle Zauner 0525657746 Melanie 5
sometimes nothing can comfort me the way arroz caldo made by my lola can. sometimes nothing can make me happier than thinking about all the bowls of sinigang i've ate all around the world with my dad. sometimes i go to the beach and i feel like i can actually taste lechon. and last night i ate simple tuna and fried rice and thought of them, and i thought of michelle, too.

this book really impacted me, and i never know how to review/talk about memoirs, but michelle's vulnerability was so powerful and brave to me, and i know i will honor and remember this book for as long as i live. i cried a lot while reading this for sadness, but i cried for all the love between these pages that were so very felt, too.

♡ buddy read with so many friends! (and during bts' 10th anniversary week)


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4.25 2021 Crying in H Mart
author: Michelle Zauner
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.25
book published: 2021
rating: 5
read at: 2023/06/16
date added: 2023/06/19
shelves: bts-read, read-in-2023, nonfiction
review:
this is such a beautiful memoir about grief, love, identity, healing. feeling like you're losing parts of yourself, reconnecting to parts of yourself. healing through the food of your family and culture, healing through art with writing and music. learning grief can be a lifelong process, learning grief can be something that changes who you are. i felt some of the passages in this book so very deeply.

sometimes nothing can comfort me the way arroz caldo made by my lola can. sometimes nothing can make me happier than thinking about all the bowls of sinigang i've ate all around the world with my dad. sometimes i go to the beach and i feel like i can actually taste lechon. and last night i ate simple tuna and fried rice and thought of them, and i thought of michelle, too.

this book really impacted me, and i never know how to review/talk about memoirs, but michelle's vulnerability was so powerful and brave to me, and i know i will honor and remember this book for as long as i live. i cried a lot while reading this for sadness, but i cried for all the love between these pages that were so very felt, too.

♡ buddy read with so many friends! (and during bts' 10th anniversary week)


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<![CDATA[Lore Olympus: Volume Four (Lore Olympus, #4)]]> 61961585 Witness what the gods do after dark in the third volume of a stylish and contemporary reimagining of one of the best-known stories in Greek mythology, featuring a brand-new, exclusive short story from creator Rachel Smythe.

"I don't always get to do as I please."

The rumor mill of Olympus is constantly churning, but Persephone and Hades are all anyone can talk about. With the constant gossip creating intense pressure on the pair, they decide to slow down their budding romance and focus on sorting out their own issues first.

But that's easier said than done.

Hades struggles to find support in his personal life, with Zeus trivializing his feelings and Minthe resorting to abusive patterns in their relationship. And while Hades tries to create healthier boundaries where he can--like finally putting a stop to his sporadic, revenge-fueled hookups with Hera--he still feels lonely and adrift.

Persephone feels equally ostracized as her classmates shun her for her connection to Hades, and she can find no refuge at home, with Apollo constantly dropping by unannounced and pushing his unwelcome advances. And on top of it all, the wrathful god of war, Ares, has returned to Olympus to dredge up his sordid history with the goddess of spring, threatening to surface Persephone's dark and mysterious past and ruin her tenuous position in the land of the gods.

Despite agreeing to take it slow, Persephone and Hades find themselves inextricably drawn toward each other once more amid the chaos. The pull of fate cannot be denied.

This edition of Rachel Smythe's original Eisner-nominated webcomic Lore Olympus features exclusive behind-the-scenes content and brings the Greek pantheon into the modern age in a sharply perceptive and romantic graphic novel.

This volume collects episodes 76-102 of the #1 WEBTOON comic Lore Olympus.]]>
416 Rachel Smythe 0593599047 Melanie 3 Volume One ★★
Volume Two ★★★
Volume Three ★★★★

reading these bind ups physically has really been such a treat for me over the last year. the art is so beautiful and intriguing, the characters are endearing and finding ways into my heart, and i just really appreciate what this creator is doing with this project. yes, there is a romance that will obviously eventually happen, but this really is a series about abuse and all the different ways that can take shape and, in turn, shape people and their lives.

lastly, i feel like this fourth installment had a lot of extra greek mythos jokes and i really was obsessed (zeus swan and all). oh, and i still cant believe that hecate is my favorite of all the gods, but here we are.

cws from the author at the start of this book: physical + mental abuse, sexual trauma, + toxic relationships

other tw/cw i wrote down: trauma depiction, infidelity, anxiety, blood splatter implications, injury, hospital setting, brief mention of infertility.

♡ buddy read with Penny
✰ read for free on

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4.39 2023 Lore Olympus: Volume Four (Lore Olympus, #4)
author: Rachel Smythe
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.39
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/06/11
date added: 2023/06/15
shelves: fantasy, graphic-novels, retellings, read-in-2023
review:
Volume One ★★
Volume Two ★★★
Volume Three ★★★★

reading these bind ups physically has really been such a treat for me over the last year. the art is so beautiful and intriguing, the characters are endearing and finding ways into my heart, and i just really appreciate what this creator is doing with this project. yes, there is a romance that will obviously eventually happen, but this really is a series about abuse and all the different ways that can take shape and, in turn, shape people and their lives.

lastly, i feel like this fourth installment had a lot of extra greek mythos jokes and i really was obsessed (zeus swan and all). oh, and i still cant believe that hecate is my favorite of all the gods, but here we are.

cws from the author at the start of this book: physical + mental abuse, sexual trauma, + toxic relationships

other tw/cw i wrote down: trauma depiction, infidelity, anxiety, blood splatter implications, injury, hospital setting, brief mention of infertility.

♡ buddy read with Penny
✰ read for free on

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Witch Hat Atelier, Vol. 1 40893782 A TOUCH OF MAGIC

In a world where everyone takes wonders like magic spells and dragons for granted, Coco is a girl with a simple dream: She wants to be a witch. But everybody knows magicians are born, not made, and Coco was not born with a gift for magic. Resigned to her un-magical life, Coco is about to give up on her dream to become a witch…until the day she meets Qifrey, a mysterious, traveling magician. After secretly seeing Qifrey perform magic in a way she’s never seen before, Coco soon learns what everybody “knows” might not be the truth, and discovers that her magical dream may not be as far away as it may seem…]]>
204 Kamome Shirahama 163236770X Melanie 4
“For when man has the power to do anything, then anything he will do.”

this was such a cute start to a story about a girl who has been intrigued by magic her whole life, only to realize that it has been at her fingertips in wait. also, the magic system in this is so smart and unique - i am very in love with it and even more in love with the visual learning incorporated into this story! but there are a lot of secrets in this first volume, one big one being a magical school/apprenticeship that is going to change how she has viewed the world for her entire life.

but why i gave this volume four stars was truly because this has some of the most beautiful art i've ever seen. from castles, to trees, these panels were able to evoke so much emotion from me, so very unexpectedly. one of the most impressive mangakas i've ever laid m eyes upon, truly.

i am so thankful so many friends recommended this one to me. i couldn't resist already purchasing volume two!

trigger + content warnings: brief mention of loss of parent to illness in past, fire, hurt parent

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4.44 2017 Witch Hat Atelier, Vol. 1
author: Kamome Shirahama
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.44
book published: 2017
rating: 4
read at: 2023/05/29
date added: 2023/06/09
shelves: manga-and-light-novels, magic, read-in-2023, dragons, witches
review:

“For when man has the power to do anything, then anything he will do.”

this was such a cute start to a story about a girl who has been intrigued by magic her whole life, only to realize that it has been at her fingertips in wait. also, the magic system in this is so smart and unique - i am very in love with it and even more in love with the visual learning incorporated into this story! but there are a lot of secrets in this first volume, one big one being a magical school/apprenticeship that is going to change how she has viewed the world for her entire life.

but why i gave this volume four stars was truly because this has some of the most beautiful art i've ever seen. from castles, to trees, these panels were able to evoke so much emotion from me, so very unexpectedly. one of the most impressive mangakas i've ever laid m eyes upon, truly.

i am so thankful so many friends recommended this one to me. i couldn't resist already purchasing volume two!

trigger + content warnings: brief mention of loss of parent to illness in past, fire, hurt parent

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Witch Hat Atelier, Vol. 2 42264867 TRIAL BY FIRE

Join Coco as she continues her spellbinding journey of magic and discovery!

After traveling to the mystical township of Kalhn with her new master to buy a casting wand, a strange, masked witch transports Coco and her three sister apprentices to an eerily quiet city. But they soon find out that they're not alone, and they encounter a ferocious dragon! Do these fledgling witches have what it takes to defeat the fire-breathing beast, or will their plans and lives go up in flames?!]]>
190 Kamome Shirahama 1632368048 Melanie 4 vol. 1 ★★★★

“I know the spells I make aren't helpful, but it's still an important dream to me.”

oh, this second installment was even better than the first! i loved seeing the friendships, some easy + some hard, between these little apprentices, and seeing them work together. (i extra love tetia so very much!) i loved the introduction of some new characters and some new groups. i love the brushbuddy, forever + ever. truly, these pages were just filled with so much that was so easy to love. i am not sure how i am going to restrain myself from immediately purchasing volume three.

i go back and forth with wanting to call these cozy, because there is a lot at stake with this plot, but the way i had all the best cozy feelings at a rainy day picnic, under a bridge, with a little magic involved. and the art for those panels was so extra lovely, heart warming, and even hunger inducing.

trigger and content warnings: implied verbal abuse in the past to a child, anxiety depiction, + mention of harm to a parent in vol 1.

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4.45 2017 Witch Hat Atelier, Vol. 2
author: Kamome Shirahama
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.45
book published: 2017
rating: 4
read at: 2023/05/31
date added: 2023/05/31
shelves: dragons, magic, witches, read-in-2023, manga-and-light-novels
review:
vol. 1 ★★★★

“I know the spells I make aren't helpful, but it's still an important dream to me.”

oh, this second installment was even better than the first! i loved seeing the friendships, some easy + some hard, between these little apprentices, and seeing them work together. (i extra love tetia so very much!) i loved the introduction of some new characters and some new groups. i love the brushbuddy, forever + ever. truly, these pages were just filled with so much that was so easy to love. i am not sure how i am going to restrain myself from immediately purchasing volume three.

i go back and forth with wanting to call these cozy, because there is a lot at stake with this plot, but the way i had all the best cozy feelings at a rainy day picnic, under a bridge, with a little magic involved. and the art for those panels was so extra lovely, heart warming, and even hunger inducing.

trigger and content warnings: implied verbal abuse in the past to a child, anxiety depiction, + mention of harm to a parent in vol 1.

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One for My Enemy 43795562
After twelve years of tenuous coexistence, a change in one family’s interests causes a rift in the existing stalemate. When bad blood brings both families to the precipice of disaster, fate intervenes with a chance encounter, and in the aftershocks of a resurrected conflict, everyone must choose a side. As each of the siblings struggles to stake their claim, fraying loyalties threaten to rot each side from the inside out.

If, that is, the enmity between empires doesn’t destroy them first.]]>
427 Olivie Blake Melanie 4 ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

“Write me a tragedy, Lev Fedorov,” she whispered to him. “Write me a litany of sins. Write me a plague of devastation. Write me lonely, write me wanting, write me shattered and fearful and lost. Then write me finding myself in your arms, if only for a night, and then write it again. Write it over and over, Lev, until we both know the pages by heart. Isn’t that a story, too?” she asked him softly.”

in the year 2023, no one is writing longing, yearning, and angst like olivie blake. every book i pick up by her, vast in different concepts, the writing and one liners she is able to string together just rendered me speechless. what a gift to the literary world and the lyrical prose readers (me).

this story is a mash up reimagining of Romeo and Juliet and A midsummer Night’s dream, which is a really insane combination. we get to see two different families, two different worlds, and two different timelines of power, love, and betrayal. this is a story about family, and sibling bonds, and love that feels too big too much of the time. but everything is also filled with magic, and fae, and secrets. i really did adore this, and it was very impressively crafted. i loved seeing all the different powers, and u think i lost part of my own heart upon finishing this epilogue.

trigger + content warnings: a lot of talk of drugs + selling drugs + drug use, alcohol, vomiting, blood, murder, death, loss of a loved one (a lot too), grief, brief mention of bullying in past, magical compulsion, violence, gore, suicide.

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The Atlas Six ★★★★
Alone With You in the Ether ★★★★★]]>
3.69 2019 One for My Enemy
author: Olivie Blake
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.69
book published: 2019
rating: 4
read at: 2023/05/28
date added: 2023/05/28
shelves: adult, arc, read-in-2023, fae, audiobook, filipino, fantasy, paranormal, romance, retellings, magic, witches
review:
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

“Write me a tragedy, Lev Fedorov,” she whispered to him. “Write me a litany of sins. Write me a plague of devastation. Write me lonely, write me wanting, write me shattered and fearful and lost. Then write me finding myself in your arms, if only for a night, and then write it again. Write it over and over, Lev, until we both know the pages by heart. Isn’t that a story, too?” she asked him softly.”

in the year 2023, no one is writing longing, yearning, and angst like olivie blake. every book i pick up by her, vast in different concepts, the writing and one liners she is able to string together just rendered me speechless. what a gift to the literary world and the lyrical prose readers (me).

this story is a mash up reimagining of Romeo and Juliet and A midsummer Night’s dream, which is a really insane combination. we get to see two different families, two different worlds, and two different timelines of power, love, and betrayal. this is a story about family, and sibling bonds, and love that feels too big too much of the time. but everything is also filled with magic, and fae, and secrets. i really did adore this, and it was very impressively crafted. i loved seeing all the different powers, and u think i lost part of my own heart upon finishing this epilogue.

trigger + content warnings: a lot of talk of drugs + selling drugs + drug use, alcohol, vomiting, blood, murder, death, loss of a loved one (a lot too), grief, brief mention of bullying in past, magical compulsion, violence, gore, suicide.

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The Atlas Six ★★★★
Alone With You in the Ether ★★★★★
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<![CDATA[The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches]]> 60018635 A warm and uplifting novel about an isolated witch whose opportunity to embrace a quirky new family--and a new love--changes the course of her life.

As one of the few witches in Britain, Mika Moon knows she has to hide her magic, keep her head down, and stay away from other witches so their powers don't mingle and draw attention. And as an orphan who lost her parents at a young age and was raised by strangers, she's used to being alone and she follows the rules...with one exception: an online account, where she posts videos pretending to be a witch. She thinks no one will take it seriously.

But someone does. An unexpected message arrives, begging her to travel to the remote and mysterious Nowhere House to teach three young witches how to control their magic. It breaks all of the rules, but Mika goes anyway, and is immediately tangled up in the lives and secrets of not only her three charges, but also an absent archaeologist, a retired actor, two long-suffering caretakers, and...Jamie. The handsome and prickly librarian of Nowhere House would do anything to protect the children, and as far as he's concerned, a stranger like Mika is a threat. An irritatingly appealing threat.

As Mika begins to find her place at Nowhere House, the thought of belonging somewhere begins to feel like a real possibility. But magic isn't the only danger in the world, and when a threat comes knocking at their door, Mika will need to decide whether to risk everything to protect a found family she didn't know she was looking for....
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318 Sangu Mandanna 059343935X Melanie 3
“It’s a leap of faith to love people and let yourself be loved. It’s closing your eyes, stepping off a ledge into nothing, and trusting that you’ll fly rather than fall.”

no one is more sad that i didn’t love this more than myself, i promise. the vibe i am feeling while sitting down and writing a little something about my reading experience is reminding me a lot of how i felt sitting down to talk about happy place - where i liked everything about this romance story, except the actual romance and love interest, and sadly that made me not love the book itself.

i loved our main character, i loved how she had a youtube channel where she pretended to be a witch in an enchanted tea shop (what a cute concept, my god). i loved the children in this book, their found family and the love they gave each other, and even the discussion of community and how that can heal a lot of things if we want to be seen. and i loved and appreciated the talks of trauma and abandonment and loneliness and how you can experience these things in your childhood and carry them through adulthood to shape the person you are. but the romance, the “accidental” dirty talk, the love interest himself…. i really disliked it all. (and i am truly so sad about it.)

trigger + content warnings: a lot of discussions about trauma in the past / childhood trauma + abuse in past, mentions of loss of loved ones, mention of online harassment, brief mentions of homophobia + racism + colorism, talk of illness, talk of abusive relationships in past, brief mention of cancer in past, spider mentions.

♡ buddy read with May!

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4.04 2022 The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches
author: Sangu Mandanna
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.04
book published: 2022
rating: 3
read at: 2023/05/17
date added: 2023/05/28
shelves: cozy, fantasy, witches, read-in-2023, buddy-reads
review:
“It’s a leap of faith to love people and let yourself be loved. It’s closing your eyes, stepping off a ledge into nothing, and trusting that you’ll fly rather than fall.”

no one is more sad that i didn’t love this more than myself, i promise. the vibe i am feeling while sitting down and writing a little something about my reading experience is reminding me a lot of how i felt sitting down to talk about happy place - where i liked everything about this romance story, except the actual romance and love interest, and sadly that made me not love the book itself.

i loved our main character, i loved how she had a youtube channel where she pretended to be a witch in an enchanted tea shop (what a cute concept, my god). i loved the children in this book, their found family and the love they gave each other, and even the discussion of community and how that can heal a lot of things if we want to be seen. and i loved and appreciated the talks of trauma and abandonment and loneliness and how you can experience these things in your childhood and carry them through adulthood to shape the person you are. but the romance, the “accidental” dirty talk, the love interest himself…. i really disliked it all. (and i am truly so sad about it.)

trigger + content warnings: a lot of discussions about trauma in the past / childhood trauma + abuse in past, mentions of loss of loved ones, mention of online harassment, brief mentions of homophobia + racism + colorism, talk of illness, talk of abusive relationships in past, brief mention of cancer in past, spider mentions.

♡ buddy read with May!

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To Be Taught, If Fortunate 43190272
Ariadne is one such explorer. As an astronaut on an extrasolar research vessel, she and her fellow crewmates sleep between worlds and wake up each time with different features. Her experience is one of fluid body and stable mind and of a unique perspective on the passage of time. Back on Earth, society changes dramatically from decade to decade, as it always does.

Ariadne may awaken to find that support for space exploration back home has waned, or that her country of birth no longer exists, or that a cult has arisen around their cosmic findings, only to dissolve once more by the next waking. But the moods of Earth have little bearing on their mission: to explore, to study, and to send their learnings home.

Carrying all the trademarks of her other beloved works, including brilliant writing, fantastic world-building and exceptional, diverse characters, Becky's first audiobook outside of the Wayfarers series is sure to capture the imagination of listeners all over the world.]]>
153 Becky Chambers 0062936018 Melanie 4
“If I ask what I'm asking only of people who agree with me at the outset, with whom I already share a dream and a language, then there's no point in asking at all.”

becky chambers really is just a once in a lifetime writer, and i truly am always so profoundly touched by everything she writes. in this novella, we follow four astronauts on a space mission to visit and research four exoplanets. and each visit, the crew uses their perfected somaforming to adapt their human bodies to the new uncharted land, instead of adapting the land to their human bodies. and each landing is quite a different research experience. but this book also focuses on the importance of love and relationships - all the different kinds - and the exploration of those relationships while traveling through the galaxies. and it was just wonderful, and i fell so easily in love with this crew (like i always do with becky chambers stories)!

this book will really make you think about the wondrous joy of discovery and all the beautiful things that can come from learning about new things and new ways, but also make you think about the ethical side of things and what is okay for us to discover and learn, and at what cost do we also deem that learning and discovery to be an okay price. there is a constant theme of community and how if we want to build greater things, we need so many individuals that also believe in greater things (and greater hope for better things… one day). also, how things change so vastly from decade to decade, but seeing how things change in a blink of an eye in this book is really haunting and, again, really thought provoking. and as always, her books make you think about how small we are in the grand scheme of the universe, but that doesn't make us less important, or less beautiful, or less destructive.

lastly, i dont really know how to put this in a more eloquent way - but i read the special edition with a little extra acknowledgement to her mom, and it was lovely and brought an extra tear to my eye. every part of this story is written thoughtfully, hopefully, and so very beautifully. i highly recommend this one for everyone.

trigger + content warnings: blood, talk of cancer briefly, vomit, a little talk of eating/eating habits, talk of war + famine, depression depictions, anxiety depictions, implied loss of loved ones, suicide ideation

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➽ 1.) The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet ★★★★★
➽ 1.) A Psalm for the Wild-Built ★★★★★]]>
4.19 2019 To Be Taught, If Fortunate
author: Becky Chambers
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.19
book published: 2019
rating: 4
read at: 2023/04/07
date added: 2023/05/25
shelves: novellas, lgbtqiap, read-in-2023, sci-fi
review:
“If I ask what I'm asking only of people who agree with me at the outset, with whom I already share a dream and a language, then there's no point in asking at all.”

becky chambers really is just a once in a lifetime writer, and i truly am always so profoundly touched by everything she writes. in this novella, we follow four astronauts on a space mission to visit and research four exoplanets. and each visit, the crew uses their perfected somaforming to adapt their human bodies to the new uncharted land, instead of adapting the land to their human bodies. and each landing is quite a different research experience. but this book also focuses on the importance of love and relationships - all the different kinds - and the exploration of those relationships while traveling through the galaxies. and it was just wonderful, and i fell so easily in love with this crew (like i always do with becky chambers stories)!

this book will really make you think about the wondrous joy of discovery and all the beautiful things that can come from learning about new things and new ways, but also make you think about the ethical side of things and what is okay for us to discover and learn, and at what cost do we also deem that learning and discovery to be an okay price. there is a constant theme of community and how if we want to build greater things, we need so many individuals that also believe in greater things (and greater hope for better things… one day). also, how things change so vastly from decade to decade, but seeing how things change in a blink of an eye in this book is really haunting and, again, really thought provoking. and as always, her books make you think about how small we are in the grand scheme of the universe, but that doesn't make us less important, or less beautiful, or less destructive.

lastly, i dont really know how to put this in a more eloquent way - but i read the special edition with a little extra acknowledgement to her mom, and it was lovely and brought an extra tear to my eye. every part of this story is written thoughtfully, hopefully, and so very beautifully. i highly recommend this one for everyone.

trigger + content warnings: blood, talk of cancer briefly, vomit, a little talk of eating/eating habits, talk of war + famine, depression depictions, anxiety depictions, implied loss of loved ones, suicide ideation

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➽ 1.) The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet ★★★★★
➽ 1.) A Psalm for the Wild-Built ★★★★★
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<![CDATA[What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma]]> 63376548 A searing memoir of reckoning and healing by acclaimed journalist Stephanie Foo, investigating the little-understood science behind complex PTSD and how it has shaped her life

"Achingly exquisite . . . providing real hope for those who long to heal."--Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: NPR, Publishers Weekly

By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD--a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.

Both of Foo's parents abandoned her when she was a teenager, after years of physical and verbal abuse and neglect. She thought she'd moved on, but her new diagnosis illuminated the way her past continued to threaten her health, relationships, and career. She found limited resources to help her, so Foo set out to heal herself, and to map her experiences onto the scarce literature about C-PTSD.

In this deeply personal and thoroughly researched account, Foo interviews scientists and psychologists and tries a variety of innovative therapies. She returns to her hometown of San Jose, California, to investigate the effects of immigrant trauma on the community, and she uncovers family secrets in the country of her birth, Malaysia, to learn how trauma can be inherited through generations. Ultimately, she discovers that you don't move on from trauma--but you can learn to move with it.

Powerful, enlightening, and hopeful, What My Bones Know is a brave narrative that reckons with the hold of the past over the present, the mind over the body--and examines one woman's ability to reclaim agency from her trauma.]]>
352 Stephanie Foo 0593238125 Melanie 5
“So this is healing, then, the opposite of the ambiguous dread: fullness. I am full of anger, pain, peace, love, of horrible shards and exquisite beauty, and the lifelong challenge will be to balance all of those things, while keeping them in the circle. Healing is never final. It is never perfection. But along with the losses there are triumphs. I accept the lifelong battle and its limitations now. Even though I must always carry the weight of grief on my back, I have become strong.”

this is a heavy read, but it really is life changing. i really will forever think differently upon reading this, because it really made me realize a lot about myself - how i cope, how i soothe, how i view perfectionism, how i feel dread, how i carry my father inside my heart and bones at all times, and how my grandmother who immigrated to the us from the philippines carried us both alongside her before that. i really and truly recommend this to anyone, but especially diaspora friends / friends who are the children + grandchildren of immigrants, and extra if you are asian american. but please also make sure you check content warnings and are in the right headspace.

i am just so grateful this book exists. and i hope everyone who is reading this review gets to feel their happiness and safety a little bit more deeply, alongside every other deep feeling we sometimes can't control feeling. our bodies are capable of such incredible things, but so are our hearts and who we choose to love with them.

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4.50 2022 What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
author: Stephanie Foo
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.50
book published: 2022
rating: 5
read at: 2023/05/15
date added: 2023/05/15
shelves: read-in-2023, nonfiction, favorites
review:
“So this is healing, then, the opposite of the ambiguous dread: fullness. I am full of anger, pain, peace, love, of horrible shards and exquisite beauty, and the lifelong challenge will be to balance all of those things, while keeping them in the circle. Healing is never final. It is never perfection. But along with the losses there are triumphs. I accept the lifelong battle and its limitations now. Even though I must always carry the weight of grief on my back, I have become strong.”

this is a heavy read, but it really is life changing. i really will forever think differently upon reading this, because it really made me realize a lot about myself - how i cope, how i soothe, how i view perfectionism, how i feel dread, how i carry my father inside my heart and bones at all times, and how my grandmother who immigrated to the us from the philippines carried us both alongside her before that. i really and truly recommend this to anyone, but especially diaspora friends / friends who are the children + grandchildren of immigrants, and extra if you are asian american. but please also make sure you check content warnings and are in the right headspace.

i am just so grateful this book exists. and i hope everyone who is reading this review gets to feel their happiness and safety a little bit more deeply, alongside every other deep feeling we sometimes can't control feeling. our bodies are capable of such incredible things, but so are our hearts and who we choose to love with them.

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<![CDATA[Pestilence (The Four Horsemen, #1)]]> 41831210 They came to earth--Pestilence, War, Famine, Death--four horsemen riding their screaming steeds, racing to the corners of the world. Four horsemen with the power to destroy all of humanity. They came to earth, and they came to end us all.

When Pestilence comes for Sara Burn’s town, one thing is certain: everyone she knows and loves is marked for death. Unless, of course, the angelic-looking horseman is stopped, which is exactly what Sara has in mind when she shoots the unholy beast off his steed.

Too bad no one told her Pestilence can’t be killed.

Now the horseman, very much alive and very pissed off, has taken her prisoner, and he’s eager to make her suffer. Only, the longer she’s with him, the more uncertain she is about his true feelings towards her … and hers towards him.

And now, well, Sara might still be able to save the world, but in order to do so, she'll have to sacrifice her heart in the process.]]>
381 Laura Thalassa Melanie 2
trigger + content warnings: suicide ideation, a plague setting, death, murder, graphic violence, scenes with fire, blood depictions, abduction, loss of a loved one, animal injury + death, alcohol consumption, ptsd, gun violence, threat of rape, abuse, human trafficking, torture, crucifixion, and many mentions and scenes of children dying that really impacted me as a reader - so please use caution.

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3.85 2018 Pestilence (The Four Horsemen, #1)
author: Laura Thalassa
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.85
book published: 2018
rating: 2
read at: 2023/04/29
date added: 2023/05/14
shelves: dystopian, fantasy, read-in-2023, romance, adult, steamy-scenes
review:
Whew, okay this was for sure a ride. I really did like the apocalyptic setting (and the mention of an abandoned las vegas) and just the premise of these four horseman who all went missing, until one random day when one came down and started said apocalypse. But that’s about all i did like. I found the banter and just situations in general to be so uncomfortable, with our main character making questionable decision after questionable decision. But truly, the thing that bothered me the most was the very heartbreaking depictions of children and families slowly dying because of the love interest i am supposed to eventually root for. I truly think this is the first book i’ve ever read that centered around a traveling quest/situation that i really didn't enjoy.

trigger + content warnings: suicide ideation, a plague setting, death, murder, graphic violence, scenes with fire, blood depictions, abduction, loss of a loved one, animal injury + death, alcohol consumption, ptsd, gun violence, threat of rape, abuse, human trafficking, torture, crucifixion, and many mentions and scenes of children dying that really impacted me as a reader - so please use caution.

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A House with Good Bones 60784409 A haunting Southern Gothic from an award-winning master of suspense, A House With Good Bones explores the dark, twisted roots lurking just beneath the veneer of a perfect home and family.

"Mom seems off."

Her brother's words echo in Sam Montgomery's ear as she turns onto the quiet North Carolina street where their mother lives alone.

She brushes the thought away as she climbs the front steps. Sam's excited for this rare extended visit, and looking forward to nights with just the two of them, drinking boxed wine, watching murder mystery shows, and guessing who the killer is long before the characters figure it out.

But stepping inside, she quickly realizes home isn’t what it used to be. Gone is the warm, cluttered charm her mom is known for; now the walls are painted a sterile white. Her mom jumps at the smallest noises and looks over her shoulder even when she’s the only person in the room. And when Sam steps out back to clear her head, she finds a jar of teeth hidden beneath the magazine-worthy rose bushes, and vultures are circling the garden from above.

To find out what’s got her mom so frightened in her own home, Sam will go digging for the truth. But some secrets are better left buried.]]>
247 T. Kingfisher 1250829798 Melanie 2 ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

In 2023, i keep picking up books by this author in hopes they will become a new favorite, but they just keep not winning me over the way i had hoped that they would. I did enjoy a few things in this story, like the discussions on body image and fatphobia in all medical spaces, and how our main character studies insects (i keep reading books accidentally about archaeologist careers and it’s starting to get freaky), and i even loved the brief mention of playing civ (the amount of hours i have clocked in on those games could be its own horror story). But ultimately, i just didnt enjoy this one, or the setting, or the characters we were introduced to. I also feel like this story wanted to go places, but never went deep enough talking about anything. And… it was just incredibly boring. The last bit of this book just doubles down with the spooky twists, but those didn’t feel good either. I’ll be honest, I knew within 20% of this book that it wasn’t going to be for me, so I hope I can just learn to be better with dnfing again. I am very much not the popular opinion of this book upon its release in april 2023, so maybe don’t let my bad feelings deter you!

trigger + content warnings: racism, brief mention of kkk, loss of a parent in past, one line/question sentence/question about cancer, vomit mention (animal), lots of talk + descriptions of insects and arachnids, child abuse in past, anxiety, nightmares + sleep paralysis, a lot of talk of fatphobia + fatphobia within medical spaces + fatphobia towards a child in past, brief mention of heart attack in past, body horror, blood depiction, child death/abuse in past, cannibalism, anti amish sentiment.

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3.65 2023 A House with Good Bones
author: T. Kingfisher
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.65
book published: 2023
rating: 2
read at: 2023/04/30
date added: 2023/05/14
shelves: arc, read-in-2023, adult, horror, witches, mystery
review:
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

In 2023, i keep picking up books by this author in hopes they will become a new favorite, but they just keep not winning me over the way i had hoped that they would. I did enjoy a few things in this story, like the discussions on body image and fatphobia in all medical spaces, and how our main character studies insects (i keep reading books accidentally about archaeologist careers and it’s starting to get freaky), and i even loved the brief mention of playing civ (the amount of hours i have clocked in on those games could be its own horror story). But ultimately, i just didnt enjoy this one, or the setting, or the characters we were introduced to. I also feel like this story wanted to go places, but never went deep enough talking about anything. And… it was just incredibly boring. The last bit of this book just doubles down with the spooky twists, but those didn’t feel good either. I’ll be honest, I knew within 20% of this book that it wasn’t going to be for me, so I hope I can just learn to be better with dnfing again. I am very much not the popular opinion of this book upon its release in april 2023, so maybe don’t let my bad feelings deter you!

trigger + content warnings: racism, brief mention of kkk, loss of a parent in past, one line/question sentence/question about cancer, vomit mention (animal), lots of talk + descriptions of insects and arachnids, child abuse in past, anxiety, nightmares + sleep paralysis, a lot of talk of fatphobia + fatphobia within medical spaces + fatphobia towards a child in past, brief mention of heart attack in past, body horror, blood depiction, child death/abuse in past, cannibalism, anti amish sentiment.

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<![CDATA[Night of the Living Queers: 13 Tales of Terror Delight]]> 61775756 Night of the Living Queers is a YA horror anthology that explores a night when anything is possible exclusively featuring queer authors of color putting fresh spins on classic horror tropes and tales.

No matter its name or occasion, Halloween is more than a Hallmark holiday, it’s a symbol of transformation. NIGHT OF THE LIVING QUEERS is a YA horror anthology that explores how Halloween can be more than just candies and frights, but a night where anything is possible. Each short story will be told through the lens of a different BIPOC teen and the Halloween night that changes their lives forever. Creative, creepy, and queer, this collection will bring fresh terror, heart, and humor to young adult literature.

Contributors include editors Alex Brown and Shelly Page, Kalynn Bayron, Ryan Douglass, Sara Farizan, Maya Gittelman, Kosoko Jackson, Em Liu, Vanessa Montalban, Ayida Shonibar, Tara Sim, Trang Thanh Tran, and Rebecca Kim Wells.]]>
282 Shelly Page 1250892961 Melanie 3 ARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss

there is something just extra cool and extra harrowing about all these stories taking place under the same moon on the same halloween night. very galaxy brain of these editors. Leyla Mendoza and the Last House on the Lane was my very personal favorite - it really meant the entire world to me. and Rocky Road with Caramel Drizzle is one i feel so thankful to have been able to read, and i know it will sit inside my heart forever. but here are my thoughts on all the stories in this collection, and i think so many people are gonna have a good time with this one, especially if you read this during spooky season.

━━♡ Welcome to the Hotel Paranoia by Vanessa Montalban ★★

“If you would've just waited for me to tell you I felt the same, if you would've never come here, I'd be yours. We'd be ours.”

i was obsessed with this sinking abandoned hotel setting, but sadly that was one of the few things i did like about this short story. i kept waiting for a different kind of revenge story to start because of the set up, but, sadly again, i was let down.

tw/cw: drinking, drugs, mention of bullying in past, brief mention of seizure in past (insinuating bc of overdose or excessive drug use), death

━━♡ The Visitor by Kalynn Bayron ★★★

“They were like beacons in an endless abyss of grief.”

this story has a few lines that made me tear up. this is a very sweet and spooky tale about a girl and her father celebrating halloween and honoring someone they lost. i feel like the author did such a good job conveying so many different emotions and feelings in the different scenes in this short work, i was really impressed.

tw/cw: loss of a parent in the past, grief

━━♡ A Brief Intermission by Sara Farizan ★★★

“Whenever someone talks about the "good old days," they forget to mention who it was "good" for.”

okay truly, drive in movies are just the perfect creepy setting, especially ones that are closed for halloween because of a generational secret being kept. i really liked both of our main characters in this one, and i liked seeing this secret unravel alongside them.

tw/cw: blood, gore, brief hospital setting, mention of fatal car crash in past, microaggressions, vomiting, animal death (rats)

━━♡ Guested by Rebecca Kim Wells ★★★

“Mrs. Choi thought Guested parties were white people nonsense or the work of the devil. Sometimes both.”

you all know a story about sibling love is always going to get me, and this being told in second person really amplified all the feelings. i will say, i just didn't enjoy the ending of this one, but the concept was really unique and smart, and the writing was very captivating - i would love to read more from this author.

tw/cw: very brief mention of parents divorcing + death of a parent, possession, depression depiction

━━♡ Rocky Road with Caramel Drizzle by Kosoko Jackson ★★★★★

“There is no God here tonight. Only me, and I am vengeful.”

this short story is worth reading the entire anthology for alone. this was truly everything for me and, even though it pulled on everything inside my heart, the very vulnerable, real, + raw feelings were just so powerful to me. this is exactly what i want in horror, because, at the end of the day, humans are more horrifying than any paranormal creature could ever dream of being.

tw/cw: needle imagery, toxic friendship, codependency depiction, chronic pain mention, homophobia, homophobic slurs, blood, abuse, ouija board, very brief mention of domestic abuse + parental abuse + loss of a parent + murder in past with a side character. this story has a central focus on a gay hate crime / gay bashing - please use caution while reading and make sure you're in the right headspace

━━♡ The Three Phases of Ghost Hunting by Alex Brown ★★★

“Terrifying Bob won't even mess with the Jollibee, which makes me sad on his behalf.”

my favorite part of this was just how filipinos really do normalize ghosts + spirits hahaha. but i really loved the set up of this one, and i felt like it's really different than anything else in this collection. i loved these characters instantly too, and the sibling relationship made my heart so happy in so few pages. i just really didn't love the end of this one and it left me more confused than anything else. but i would happily read a full-length story with this crew + their new friend!

tw/cw: talk of death + possession

━━♡ Nine Stops by Trang Thanh Tran ★★

“You can love something so hard that you hate it at the same time. Each shortcoming hurts more because you care. The city and my body are like that.”

ahhh, this one is going to be a bit hard to write feelings for just because this story is centered around one of those "if you dont do BLANK, then BLANK will happen" on the internet things - and i just loath those so much. but then it just got more and more gross and confusing, and added so much that just didn't need to be there, but felt like they were added because it was a halloween anthology. we got to see some heartfelt themes of grief and the helplessness you feel when you lose someone you love - and i loved that - but sadly everything else just overshadowed it for me.

tw/cw: asian hate crime, racism, loss of a loved one, grief depiction, graphic animal cruelty + death for a ritual, insect mention, blood

━━♡ Leyla Mendoza and the Last House on the Lane by Maya Gittleman ★★★★★

“The smell of sampaguita fills the air. It's coming from you, the magic that's always been you, that you've finally given yourself the ability to unlock.”

not only my favorite of the collection, but a brand new all time favorite short story. this was everything and so very powerful. i might be a little biased because i am fillipino (and i have a matching sampaguita tattoo with my cousin haha), but i think this story is truly just perfection, while being so deep in culture and so deep in heart. and i was weeping through the ending with a smile on my face. the author was so galaxy brain for this entire story, but the amount of hope it was able to evoke from me too. i really am speechless.

whatever this author does next, i will be in the publisher's emails begging for an arc, because these few pages truly made me feel not only seen, but like i am finding a brand new all time favorite author.

tw/cw: talk of loss of a parent in the past, mention of deaths, one sentence mention of whitening cream/treatment

━━♡ In You to Burn by Em X. Liu ★★

“Magic wasn't real, after all. There were better, more mundane ways to explain things.”

ah, i wish i would have loved this one more. i am not really sure what to say other than maybe the writing just wasn't for me. but the plot just seemed a little all over and i wasn't really sure where the story was going most of the time. it also felt very long to me.

tw/cw: fires, drinking, blood, death

━━♡ Anna by Shelly Page ★★★★

“I know that bone-deep loneliness that comes with being abandoned and the fear that it'll keep happening no matter what you do.”

okay i think this story was like exactly what i was expecting from this collection, and it just was really good and really halloween spooky. it was the paranormal scariest of them all for me, and i was really feeling the eeriness while reading (and while finishing). a good reminder why i love short story collections so much, because i am now very excited to read more from this author.

tw/cw: abandonment, child abuse in past, starvation, ouija board

━━♡ Hey There, Demons by Tara Sim ★★★★

“Halloween. One way or another, he was going to get rid of this poltergeist for good.”

oh this was just a good read all around, and so different in tone from the rest of the collection. and it just really made my heart overflow with happiness, while still being spooky. i know these are fictional characters, but i really wish them the best because they were able to get into my heart in so few pages!

tw/cw: ghost leaving scratches on children, blood, implied loss of a parent in past

━━♡ Save Me from Myself by Ayida Shonibar ★★★★

“Today, my outside resembles the way I feel within. ”

this really is the short story from this collection that is going to be the hardest (and most all over the place) to talk about. i loved this story, i loved what it was doing, i loved that i very easily could see how much this will mean to so many teens, especially queer bipoc teens, who i know are feeling these things, thinking these things, and seeing themselves like this main character. this is an important and powerful read, and was able to evoke so much emotion from me. but i just absolutely hated the end of this. i felt like it was for shock value and just felt terrible when the rest of this story was everything i could have hoped for for this collection. again, i feel like this is just a hard one to talk about, but it still is a bright, but heartbreaking, shining light in this collection for me.

tw/cw from author at start of this story: suicidal ideation, death
tw/cw that i found additionally: mention of parent abandonment, loss of a friend, loss of a parent, and... so many intrusive thoughts

━━♡ Knickknack by Ryan Douglass ★★★

“And...how do we find a sacrifice worthy of his Clownliness?”

truly, very few things in this life are scarier than clowns. and a clown who is a ghost and kidnaps and kills children? like, i was unsettled from start to end! i also really enjoyed the queer rep in this because i think its a very relatable "is this person maybe queer too" highschool experience, and i know a lot of people will be able to relate. this was spooky and sweet and i had a good time with it.

tw/cw: murder in past, death in past, kidnapping, brief one sentence mention of parent alcohol addiction and cheating of a parent, just not the best parents in general, brief mention on bullying in past, mention of 4chan, ouija board.

| | | | |

The quotes above were taken from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.

━━♡ buddy read with evie]]>
3.87 2023 Night of the Living Queers: 13 Tales of Terror Delight
author: Shelly Page
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.87
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/04/21
date added: 2023/04/29
shelves: anthologies, arc, read-in-2023, lgbtqiap, horror, buddy-reads, young-adult, demons, vampires, ghosts
review:
ARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss

there is something just extra cool and extra harrowing about all these stories taking place under the same moon on the same halloween night. very galaxy brain of these editors. Leyla Mendoza and the Last House on the Lane was my very personal favorite - it really meant the entire world to me. and Rocky Road with Caramel Drizzle is one i feel so thankful to have been able to read, and i know it will sit inside my heart forever. but here are my thoughts on all the stories in this collection, and i think so many people are gonna have a good time with this one, especially if you read this during spooky season.

━━♡ Welcome to the Hotel Paranoia by Vanessa Montalban ★★

“If you would've just waited for me to tell you I felt the same, if you would've never come here, I'd be yours. We'd be ours.”

i was obsessed with this sinking abandoned hotel setting, but sadly that was one of the few things i did like about this short story. i kept waiting for a different kind of revenge story to start because of the set up, but, sadly again, i was let down.

tw/cw: drinking, drugs, mention of bullying in past, brief mention of seizure in past (insinuating bc of overdose or excessive drug use), death

━━♡ The Visitor by Kalynn Bayron ★★★

“They were like beacons in an endless abyss of grief.”

this story has a few lines that made me tear up. this is a very sweet and spooky tale about a girl and her father celebrating halloween and honoring someone they lost. i feel like the author did such a good job conveying so many different emotions and feelings in the different scenes in this short work, i was really impressed.

tw/cw: loss of a parent in the past, grief

━━♡ A Brief Intermission by Sara Farizan ★★★

“Whenever someone talks about the "good old days," they forget to mention who it was "good" for.”

okay truly, drive in movies are just the perfect creepy setting, especially ones that are closed for halloween because of a generational secret being kept. i really liked both of our main characters in this one, and i liked seeing this secret unravel alongside them.

tw/cw: blood, gore, brief hospital setting, mention of fatal car crash in past, microaggressions, vomiting, animal death (rats)

━━♡ Guested by Rebecca Kim Wells ★★★

“Mrs. Choi thought Guested parties were white people nonsense or the work of the devil. Sometimes both.”

you all know a story about sibling love is always going to get me, and this being told in second person really amplified all the feelings. i will say, i just didn't enjoy the ending of this one, but the concept was really unique and smart, and the writing was very captivating - i would love to read more from this author.

tw/cw: very brief mention of parents divorcing + death of a parent, possession, depression depiction

━━♡ Rocky Road with Caramel Drizzle by Kosoko Jackson ★★★★★

“There is no God here tonight. Only me, and I am vengeful.”

this short story is worth reading the entire anthology for alone. this was truly everything for me and, even though it pulled on everything inside my heart, the very vulnerable, real, + raw feelings were just so powerful to me. this is exactly what i want in horror, because, at the end of the day, humans are more horrifying than any paranormal creature could ever dream of being.

tw/cw: needle imagery, toxic friendship, codependency depiction, chronic pain mention, homophobia, homophobic slurs, blood, abuse, ouija board, very brief mention of domestic abuse + parental abuse + loss of a parent + murder in past with a side character. this story has a central focus on a gay hate crime / gay bashing - please use caution while reading and make sure you're in the right headspace

━━♡ The Three Phases of Ghost Hunting by Alex Brown ★★★

“Terrifying Bob won't even mess with the Jollibee, which makes me sad on his behalf.”

my favorite part of this was just how filipinos really do normalize ghosts + spirits hahaha. but i really loved the set up of this one, and i felt like it's really different than anything else in this collection. i loved these characters instantly too, and the sibling relationship made my heart so happy in so few pages. i just really didn't love the end of this one and it left me more confused than anything else. but i would happily read a full-length story with this crew + their new friend!

tw/cw: talk of death + possession

━━♡ Nine Stops by Trang Thanh Tran ★★

“You can love something so hard that you hate it at the same time. Each shortcoming hurts more because you care. The city and my body are like that.”

ahhh, this one is going to be a bit hard to write feelings for just because this story is centered around one of those "if you dont do BLANK, then BLANK will happen" on the internet things - and i just loath those so much. but then it just got more and more gross and confusing, and added so much that just didn't need to be there, but felt like they were added because it was a halloween anthology. we got to see some heartfelt themes of grief and the helplessness you feel when you lose someone you love - and i loved that - but sadly everything else just overshadowed it for me.

tw/cw: asian hate crime, racism, loss of a loved one, grief depiction, graphic animal cruelty + death for a ritual, insect mention, blood

━━♡ Leyla Mendoza and the Last House on the Lane by Maya Gittleman ★★★★★

“The smell of sampaguita fills the air. It's coming from you, the magic that's always been you, that you've finally given yourself the ability to unlock.”

not only my favorite of the collection, but a brand new all time favorite short story. this was everything and so very powerful. i might be a little biased because i am fillipino (and i have a matching sampaguita tattoo with my cousin haha), but i think this story is truly just perfection, while being so deep in culture and so deep in heart. and i was weeping through the ending with a smile on my face. the author was so galaxy brain for this entire story, but the amount of hope it was able to evoke from me too. i really am speechless.

whatever this author does next, i will be in the publisher's emails begging for an arc, because these few pages truly made me feel not only seen, but like i am finding a brand new all time favorite author.

tw/cw: talk of loss of a parent in the past, mention of deaths, one sentence mention of whitening cream/treatment

━━♡ In You to Burn by Em X. Liu ★★

“Magic wasn't real, after all. There were better, more mundane ways to explain things.”

ah, i wish i would have loved this one more. i am not really sure what to say other than maybe the writing just wasn't for me. but the plot just seemed a little all over and i wasn't really sure where the story was going most of the time. it also felt very long to me.

tw/cw: fires, drinking, blood, death

━━♡ Anna by Shelly Page ★★★★

“I know that bone-deep loneliness that comes with being abandoned and the fear that it'll keep happening no matter what you do.”

okay i think this story was like exactly what i was expecting from this collection, and it just was really good and really halloween spooky. it was the paranormal scariest of them all for me, and i was really feeling the eeriness while reading (and while finishing). a good reminder why i love short story collections so much, because i am now very excited to read more from this author.

tw/cw: abandonment, child abuse in past, starvation, ouija board

━━♡ Hey There, Demons by Tara Sim ★★★★

“Halloween. One way or another, he was going to get rid of this poltergeist for good.”

oh this was just a good read all around, and so different in tone from the rest of the collection. and it just really made my heart overflow with happiness, while still being spooky. i know these are fictional characters, but i really wish them the best because they were able to get into my heart in so few pages!

tw/cw: ghost leaving scratches on children, blood, implied loss of a parent in past

━━♡ Save Me from Myself by Ayida Shonibar ★★★★

“Today, my outside resembles the way I feel within. ”

this really is the short story from this collection that is going to be the hardest (and most all over the place) to talk about. i loved this story, i loved what it was doing, i loved that i very easily could see how much this will mean to so many teens, especially queer bipoc teens, who i know are feeling these things, thinking these things, and seeing themselves like this main character. this is an important and powerful read, and was able to evoke so much emotion from me. but i just absolutely hated the end of this. i felt like it was for shock value and just felt terrible when the rest of this story was everything i could have hoped for for this collection. again, i feel like this is just a hard one to talk about, but it still is a bright, but heartbreaking, shining light in this collection for me.

tw/cw from author at start of this story: suicidal ideation, death
tw/cw that i found additionally: mention of parent abandonment, loss of a friend, loss of a parent, and... so many intrusive thoughts

━━♡ Knickknack by Ryan Douglass ★★★

“And...how do we find a sacrifice worthy of his Clownliness?”

truly, very few things in this life are scarier than clowns. and a clown who is a ghost and kidnaps and kills children? like, i was unsettled from start to end! i also really enjoyed the queer rep in this because i think its a very relatable "is this person maybe queer too" highschool experience, and i know a lot of people will be able to relate. this was spooky and sweet and i had a good time with it.

tw/cw: murder in past, death in past, kidnapping, brief one sentence mention of parent alcohol addiction and cheating of a parent, just not the best parents in general, brief mention on bullying in past, mention of 4chan, ouija board.

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The quotes above were taken from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.

━━♡ buddy read with evie
]]>
Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 2 29498969
Princess Yona lives an ideal life as the only princess of her kingdom. Doted on by her father, the king, and protected by her faithful guard Hak, she cherishes the time spent with the man she loves, Su-won. But everything changes on her 16th birthday when tragedy strikes her family!

While on the run, Yona and Hak head to Hak’s hometown, where she attempts to heal her broken heart. However, she can’t rest there for long once she discovers that Su-won may soon become king! What will Yona choose to do in the wake of this news?]]>
192 Mizuho Kusanagi 1421587831 Melanie 3 vol. 1 ★★★★

“No matter how much distance lies between us.”

i really enjoyed this second installment, and learning more about this world and the five tribes. i also really liked a few new characters who were introduced, some i hope we get to see again, and some who i am very confident we will start out the next volume alongside. i love both yona and hak so much already and i feel very thankful to be able to follow them on what i am sure is going to continue to be a long and hard journey. and lastly, some of these art panels actually took my breath away because they were so beautiful and so powerful.

tw/cw: murder, death, grief, blood, serious medical injuries, war, fighting, violence, poisoning, seizure, a few comments on body weight

| | | | |

♡ buddy read with Penny]]>
4.32 2010 Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 2
author: Mizuho Kusanagi
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.32
book published: 2010
rating: 3
read at: 2023/04/25
date added: 2023/04/25
shelves: read-in-2023, manga-and-light-novels, buddy-reads
review:
vol. 1 ★★★★

“No matter how much distance lies between us.”

i really enjoyed this second installment, and learning more about this world and the five tribes. i also really liked a few new characters who were introduced, some i hope we get to see again, and some who i am very confident we will start out the next volume alongside. i love both yona and hak so much already and i feel very thankful to be able to follow them on what i am sure is going to continue to be a long and hard journey. and lastly, some of these art panels actually took my breath away because they were so beautiful and so powerful.

tw/cw: murder, death, grief, blood, serious medical injuries, war, fighting, violence, poisoning, seizure, a few comments on body weight

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♡ buddy read with Penny
]]>
The Moth Keeper 61356479 Being a Moth Keeper is a huge responsibility and a great honor, but what happens when the new Moth Keeper decides to take a break from the moon and see the sun for the first time? A middle-grade fantasy graphic novel about passion, duty, and found family.

Anya is finally a Moth Keeper, the protector of the lunar moths that allow the Night-Lily flower to bloom once a year. Her village needs the flower to continue thriving and Anya is excited to prove her worth and show her thanks to her friends with her actions, but what happens when being a Moth Keeper isn't exactly what Anya thought it would be?

The nights are cold in the desert and the lunar moths live far from the village. Anya finds herself isolated and lonely. Despite Anya's dedication, she wonders what it would be like to live in the sun. Her thoughts turn into an obsession, and when Anya takes a chance to stay up during the day to feel the sun's warmth, her village and the lunar moths are left to deal with the consequences.

K. O'Neill brings to life a beautifully illustrated fantasy world about responsibility to yourself and your community. The Moth Keeper is filled with magic, hope, and friendship.]]>
272 Kay O'Neill 0593182286 Melanie 5 ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

“How would life feel if I didn't have to always hold on tight against the darkness? Who would I be if I could live in the light?”

i just am always completely in love with k o’neil’s characters, worlds, and themes. they create stories that are such a gift to our world, and this newest graphic novel will probably resonate with so many people who are reading this review, because the central theme is all about burn out and not realizing when you need a break and when you need some help, too. we are all so small in the grand scheme of things, and it's so easy for things to feel overwhelming, especially these last few years, and especially in a pandemic that is still going on. but our value as creators and, more importantly, humans, will never ever be dependent on how much we produce.

this is also a very heartfelt tale about community, and the things we can achieve when we are kind and offer help to people – and how that kindness and help can go such a long way and have the most beautiful healing rippling effect to so many. but this also touches on how hard it can be to ask for help, when you have been turned away from it by people who are supposed to be there for you. but also, in turn, how unconditional love + friendship can be the most powerful force in all the world.

ah, this is just perfection. i wish i could put this story in the hands of everyone, but especially every child. i immediately finished the arc, and purchased a physical for my own personal library (which surprisingly had the most beautiful art under the dustjacket). i think this will for sure make my best of 2023 come december. truly, a gift to this universe in all ways.

trigger + content warnings: mention of loss of a loved one, parental neglect + abandonment

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4.12 2023 The Moth Keeper
author: Kay O'Neill
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.12
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/02/21
date added: 2023/04/21
shelves: arc, read-in-2023, graphic-novels, fantasy, middle-grade
review:
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

“How would life feel if I didn't have to always hold on tight against the darkness? Who would I be if I could live in the light?”

i just am always completely in love with k o’neil’s characters, worlds, and themes. they create stories that are such a gift to our world, and this newest graphic novel will probably resonate with so many people who are reading this review, because the central theme is all about burn out and not realizing when you need a break and when you need some help, too. we are all so small in the grand scheme of things, and it's so easy for things to feel overwhelming, especially these last few years, and especially in a pandemic that is still going on. but our value as creators and, more importantly, humans, will never ever be dependent on how much we produce.

this is also a very heartfelt tale about community, and the things we can achieve when we are kind and offer help to people – and how that kindness and help can go such a long way and have the most beautiful healing rippling effect to so many. but this also touches on how hard it can be to ask for help, when you have been turned away from it by people who are supposed to be there for you. but also, in turn, how unconditional love + friendship can be the most powerful force in all the world.

ah, this is just perfection. i wish i could put this story in the hands of everyone, but especially every child. i immediately finished the arc, and purchased a physical for my own personal library (which surprisingly had the most beautiful art under the dustjacket). i think this will for sure make my best of 2023 come december. truly, a gift to this universe in all ways.

trigger + content warnings: mention of loss of a loved one, parental neglect + abandonment

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]]>
<![CDATA[Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries (Emily Wilde, #1)]]> 60657589
Cambridge professor Emily Wilde is good at many things: She is the foremost expert on the study of faeries. She is a genius scholar and a meticulous researcher who is writing the world's first encyclopaedia of faerie lore. But Emily Wilde is not good at people. She could never make small talk at a party--or even get invited to one. And she prefers the company of her books, her dog, and the Fair Folk.

So when she arrives in the hardscrabble village of Hrafnsvik, Emily has no intention of befriending the gruff townsfolk. Nor does she care to spend time with another new arrival: her dashing and insufferably handsome academic rival Wendell Bambleby, who manages to charm the townsfolk, get in the middle of Emily's research, and utterly confound and frustrate her.

But as Emily gets closer and closer to uncovering the secrets of the Hidden Ones--the most elusive of all faeries--lurking in the shadowy forest outside the town, she also finds herself on the trail of another mystery: Who is Wendell Bambleby, and what does he really want? To find the answer, she'll have to unlock the greatest mystery of all--her own heart.]]>
317 Heather Fawcett 059350013X Melanie 4
“If anyone were to claim greater happiness in their careers than I do in poking about sunlit wildwoods for faerie footprints, I should not believe it.”

A woman who has been in love with the fae all her life and is taking us along on her academic research with the encyclopedia she is currently writing about them and her experiences with them? Oh, what more could I possibly ask for friends? Actually the life i wish i could have if i was around in 1909. This is also told epistolary style, with a lot of field notes, but a lot of stories, and some unexpected entries as well. But this was just a book that really worked for me and my reading wheelhouse (and heart). There is a little romance too that is also very sweet and again… the field notes are just so good. We also get to travel to some fae realms to solve a mystery that did get a little dark - so please use caution. Like, there are a lot of cozy vibes and moments and settings (omg did i love the market too) in this, but, again, there are a lot of darker themes and the story takes showing the dark faery side of things!

But i am really and truly begging for a book two.

trigger + content warnings: mention of loss of a loved one in past, mention of suicide very briefly twice, talk of kidnapping + actual kidnapping, violence, blood, gore, vomit, animal violence + death, child abandonment, spider mentions

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3.98 2023 Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries (Emily Wilde, #1)
author: Heather Fawcett
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.98
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2023/02/17
date added: 2023/04/20
shelves: cozy, fae, read-in-2023, historical, fantasy, epistolary
review:
“If anyone were to claim greater happiness in their careers than I do in poking about sunlit wildwoods for faerie footprints, I should not believe it.”

A woman who has been in love with the fae all her life and is taking us along on her academic research with the encyclopedia she is currently writing about them and her experiences with them? Oh, what more could I possibly ask for friends? Actually the life i wish i could have if i was around in 1909. This is also told epistolary style, with a lot of field notes, but a lot of stories, and some unexpected entries as well. But this was just a book that really worked for me and my reading wheelhouse (and heart). There is a little romance too that is also very sweet and again… the field notes are just so good. We also get to travel to some fae realms to solve a mystery that did get a little dark - so please use caution. Like, there are a lot of cozy vibes and moments and settings (omg did i love the market too) in this, but, again, there are a lot of darker themes and the story takes showing the dark faery side of things!

But i am really and truly begging for a book two.

trigger + content warnings: mention of loss of a loved one in past, mention of suicide very briefly twice, talk of kidnapping + actual kidnapping, violence, blood, gore, vomit, animal violence + death, child abandonment, spider mentions

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]]>
<![CDATA[Witch King (The Rising World, #1)]]> 57861689 From the breakout SFF superstar author of Murderbot comes a remarkable story of power and friendship, of trust and betrayal, and of the families we choose.

"I didn't know you were a... demon."
"You idiot. I'm the demon."
Kai's having a long day in Martha Wells' WITCH KING....

After being murdered, his consciousness dormant and unaware of the passing of time while confined in an elaborate water trap, Kai wakes to find a lesser mage attempting to harness Kai’s magic to his own advantage. That was never going to go well.

But why was Kai imprisoned in the first place? What has changed in the world since his assassination? And why does the Rising World Coalition appear to be growing in influence?

Kai will need to pull his allies close and draw on all his pain magic if he is to answer even the least of these questions.

He’s not going to like the answers.

WITCH KING is Martha Wells’s first new fantasy in over a decade, drawing together her signature ability to create characters we adore and identify with, alongside breathtaking action and adventure, and the wit and charm we’ve come to expect from one of the leading writers of her generation.]]>
424 Martha Wells Melanie 3 ARC provided by the publisher - thank you so much

ahhhh this is a hard one to rate, because i really loved these characters, especially our mc, kai. and i loved the start so very much, because we are truly given a character sheet and then dropped right into the story of a demon prince, who is able to inhabit different bodies, who is locked in a tomb underneath the water. and he is trying to remember his lost memories so he can figure out who betrayed and assassinated him, and locked him in this watery grave. like, that sounds perfect, true? but as the story went on, i just cared less and less and i really had to make myself pick up this book more times than not. i finished the very last pages just not feeling much, sadly. i just dont know, this book has a lot of good, and i love martha well's writing and mind, but i just wasn't invested in this book the way i wish i could have been. maybe it was the time i picked this up? i am not sure, but i wish you happier reading than i had, especially because i do believe there is a lot of good in this one.

trigger + content warnings: death, murder, violence, gore, implied child abuse, blood, loss of a loved one, fear of water (+ talk of that fear a lot), captivity, slavery, self harm to prove immortality (i think this was a cut on the palm or wrist but i didn't specify in my notes >.< i am sorry), war, battle, very brief mentions of water snakes and spiders, drowning.

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➽ 1.) All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries) ★★★★]]>
4.00 2023 Witch King (The Rising World, #1)
author: Martha Wells
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.00
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/04/14
date added: 2023/04/14
shelves: arc, fantasy, read-in-2023, demons, witches, lgbtqiap, adult
review:
ARC provided by the publisher - thank you so much

ahhhh this is a hard one to rate, because i really loved these characters, especially our mc, kai. and i loved the start so very much, because we are truly given a character sheet and then dropped right into the story of a demon prince, who is able to inhabit different bodies, who is locked in a tomb underneath the water. and he is trying to remember his lost memories so he can figure out who betrayed and assassinated him, and locked him in this watery grave. like, that sounds perfect, true? but as the story went on, i just cared less and less and i really had to make myself pick up this book more times than not. i finished the very last pages just not feeling much, sadly. i just dont know, this book has a lot of good, and i love martha well's writing and mind, but i just wasn't invested in this book the way i wish i could have been. maybe it was the time i picked this up? i am not sure, but i wish you happier reading than i had, especially because i do believe there is a lot of good in this one.

trigger + content warnings: death, murder, violence, gore, implied child abuse, blood, loss of a loved one, fear of water (+ talk of that fear a lot), captivity, slavery, self harm to prove immortality (i think this was a cut on the palm or wrist but i didn't specify in my notes >.< i am sorry), war, battle, very brief mentions of water snakes and spiders, drowning.

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➽ 1.) All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries) ★★★★
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<![CDATA[Chain of Thorns (The Last Hours, #3)]]> 17699859 James and Cordelia must save London—and their marriage—in this conclusion to the Last Hours series from author Cassandra Clare.
Chain of Thorns is a Shadowhunters novel.

Cordelia Carstairs has lost everything that matters to her. In only a few short weeks, she has seen her father murdered, her plans to become parabatai with her best friend, Lucie, destroyed, and her marriage to James Herondale crumble before her eyes. Even worse, she is now bound to an ancient demon, Lilith, stripping her of her power as a Shadowhunter.

After fleeing to Paris with Matthew Fairchild, Cordelia hopes to forget her sorrows in the city’s glittering nightlife. But reality intrudes when shocking news comes from home: Tatiana Blackthorn has escaped the Adamant Citadel, and London is under new threat by the Prince of Hell, Belial.

Cordelia returns to a London riven by chaos and dissent. The long-kept secret that Belial is James and Lucie’s grandfather has been revealed by an unexpected enemy, and the Herondales find themselves under suspicion of dealings with demons. Cordelia longs to protect James but is torn between a love for James she has long believed hopeless, and the possibility of a new life with Matthew. Nor can her friends help—ripped apart by their own secrets, they seem destined to face what is coming alone.

For time is short, and Belial’s plan is about to crash into the Shadowhunters of London like a deadly wave, one that will separate Cordelia, Lucie, and the Merry Thieves from help of any kind. Left alone in a shadowy London, they must face Belial’s deadly army. If Cordelia and her friends are going to save their city—and their families—they will have to muster their courage, swallow their pride, and trust one another again. For if they fail, they may lose everything—even their souls.]]>
778 Cassandra Clare 1406358118 Melanie 3 City of Bones ★★★
2.) City of Ashes ★★
3.) City of Glass ★★★
1.) Clockwork Angel ★★★
4.) City of Fallen Angels
2.) Clockwork Prince ★★★★
5.) City of Lost Souls ★★★★
3.) Clockwork Princess ★★★★★
6.) City of Heavenly Fire ★★★★★
*.) The Bane Chronicles ★★★
*.) Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy ★★★
1.) Lady Midnight ★★★★★
2.) Lord of Shadows ★★★★
*.) Ghosts of the Shadow Market ★★★★
3.) Queen of Air and Darkness ★★★★
1.) The Red Scrolls of Magic ★★★★★
1.) Chain of Gold ★★★★★
2.) Chain of Iron ★★★★★

“I am saying that with you, I have no armor. I feel everything. For better or worse.”

my first read of 2023...

i just feel like i never am fully in love with cassie’s endings, sadly. But I still had a good time reading this and being back in the world. <3

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trigger + content warnings: loss of a loved one, trauma, alcoholism, extreme alcohol withdrawals,, vomiting, seizures, grief depictions, anxiety, abusive parents/bad parents, grey area cheating, blood depictions, violence, gore, homophobia, misogyny, self harm, mention of loss of a child in the past, possession (against one's will), enchantment (against one's will), insect horror, kidnapping, harming of a baby (kind of spoilers but… [spoilers removed]]]>
4.04 2023 Chain of Thorns (The Last Hours, #3)
author: Cassandra Clare
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.04
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/01/04
date added: 2023/04/07
shelves: angels, demons, fae, fantasy, historical, lgbtqiap, young-adult, romance, audiobook, read-in-2023, ghosts
review:
1.) City of Bones ★★★
2.) City of Ashes ★★
3.) City of Glass ★★★
1.) Clockwork Angel ★★★
4.) City of Fallen Angels
2.) Clockwork Prince ★★★★
5.) City of Lost Souls ★★★★
3.) Clockwork Princess ★★★★★
6.) City of Heavenly Fire ★★★★★
*.) The Bane Chronicles ★★★
*.) Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy ★★★
1.) Lady Midnight ★★★★★
2.) Lord of Shadows ★★★★
*.) Ghosts of the Shadow Market ★★★★
3.) Queen of Air and Darkness ★★★★
1.) The Red Scrolls of Magic ★★★★★
1.) Chain of Gold ★★★★★
2.) Chain of Iron ★★★★★

“I am saying that with you, I have no armor. I feel everything. For better or worse.”

my first read of 2023...

i just feel like i never am fully in love with cassie’s endings, sadly. But I still had a good time reading this and being back in the world. <3

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trigger + content warnings: loss of a loved one, trauma, alcoholism, extreme alcohol withdrawals,, vomiting, seizures, grief depictions, anxiety, abusive parents/bad parents, grey area cheating, blood depictions, violence, gore, homophobia, misogyny, self harm, mention of loss of a child in the past, possession (against one's will), enchantment (against one's will), insect horror, kidnapping, harming of a baby (kind of spoilers but… [spoilers removed]
]]>
Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 1 27406734
Yona reels from the shock of witnessing a loved one’s murder and having to fight for her life. With Hak’s help, she flees the palace and struggles to survive while evading her enemy’s forces. But where will this displaced princess go when all the paths before her are uncertain?]]>
200 Mizuho Kusanagi 1421587815 Melanie 4
“The years we spent together... The princess who adored you... You destroyed them all.”

You all have wanted me to read this for so long, and i am so thankful i finally picked it up. I mean, you all had me at bodyguard romance regardless, but i was always apprehensive because my brother told me she had a crush on her cousin >.< !! But i promise, that gets “fixed” very quickly in this first installment, but i fear i cant say anything else without giving too much away! but not knowing anything else really had me turning these pages so quickly I cannot wait to get my hands on vol two soon soon soon.

trigger + content warnings: loss of a loved one, loss of a parent, murder, death, violence, unwanted touching, grief depiction, snakes + leeches

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4.23 2010 Yona of the Dawn, Vol. 1
author: Mizuho Kusanagi
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.23
book published: 2010
rating: 4
read at: 2023/03/31
date added: 2023/04/03
shelves: read-in-2023, manga-and-light-novels
review:
“The years we spent together... The princess who adored you... You destroyed them all.”

You all have wanted me to read this for so long, and i am so thankful i finally picked it up. I mean, you all had me at bodyguard romance regardless, but i was always apprehensive because my brother told me she had a crush on her cousin >.< !! But i promise, that gets “fixed” very quickly in this first installment, but i fear i cant say anything else without giving too much away! but not knowing anything else really had me turning these pages so quickly I cannot wait to get my hands on vol two soon soon soon.

trigger + content warnings: loss of a loved one, loss of a parent, murder, death, violence, unwanted touching, grief depiction, snakes + leeches

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<![CDATA[The Ballad of Never After (Once Upon a Broken Heart, #2)]]> 59808071 Not every love is meant to be.

After Jacks, the Prince of Hearts, betrays her, Evangeline Fox swears she'll never trust him again. Now that she’s discovered her own magic, Evangeline believes she can use it to restore the chance at happily ever after that Jacks stole away.

But when a new terrifying curse is revealed, Evangeline finds herself entering into a tenuous partnership with the Prince of Hearts again. Only this time, the rules have changed. Jacks isn’t the only force Evangeline needs to be wary of. In fact, he might be the only one she can trust, despite her desire to despise him.

Instead of a love spell wreaking havoc on Evangeline’s life, a murderous spell has been cast. To break it, Evangeline and Jacks will have to do battle with old friends, new foes, and a magic that plays with heads and hearts. Evangeline has always trusted her heart, but this time she’s not sure she can...]]>
416 Stephanie Garber 1250268427 Melanie 4 Once Upon a Broken Heart ★★★★

“In the morning, you can forget it. You can go back to pretending you don't like me, and I can pretend that I don't care. But for tonight, let me pretend you're mine.”

The inn setting/scene in this book deserves six stars. This is just such a fun series, that is filled with so much angst, and it truly feels impossible for me to stop turning the pages once i get sucked into stephanie garber’s worlds. I enjoyed this one even more than the first, and i will be begging flatiron for an arc of book three come this autumn - because that end? Sick and twisted in the best way imaginable.

trigger + content warnings: self harm for blood/magic, blood depictions, violence, death, murder, captivity, extreme nightmares, spider mentions

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1.) Caraval ★★★★
2.) Legendary ★★★★
2.) Finale ★★]]>
4.49 2022 The Ballad of Never After (Once Upon a Broken Heart, #2)
author: Stephanie Garber
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.49
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2023/03/10
date added: 2023/04/03
shelves: fantasy, magic, read-in-2023, vampires, young-adult, romance
review:
1.) Once Upon a Broken Heart ★★★★

“In the morning, you can forget it. You can go back to pretending you don't like me, and I can pretend that I don't care. But for tonight, let me pretend you're mine.”

The inn setting/scene in this book deserves six stars. This is just such a fun series, that is filled with so much angst, and it truly feels impossible for me to stop turning the pages once i get sucked into stephanie garber’s worlds. I enjoyed this one even more than the first, and i will be begging flatiron for an arc of book three come this autumn - because that end? Sick and twisted in the best way imaginable.

trigger + content warnings: self harm for blood/magic, blood depictions, violence, death, murder, captivity, extreme nightmares, spider mentions

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1.) Caraval ★★★★
2.) Legendary ★★★★
2.) Finale ★★
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<![CDATA[Legendborn (The Legendborn Cycle, #1)]]> 50892338
A flying demon feeding on human energies.

A secret society of so called “Legendborn” students that hunt the creatures down.

And a mysterious teenage mage who calls himself a “Merlin” and who attempts—and fails—to wipe Bree’s memory of everything she saw.

The mage’s failure unlocks Bree’s own unique magic and a buried memory with a hidden connection: the night her mother died, another Merlin was at the hospital. Now that Bree knows there’s more to her mother’s death than what’s on the police report, she’ll do whatever it takes to find out the truth, even if that means infiltrating the Legendborn as one of their initiates.

She recruits Nick, a self-exiled Legendborn with his own grudge against the group, and their reluctant partnership pulls them deeper into the society’s secrets—and closer to each other. But when the Legendborn reveal themselves as the descendants of King Arthur’s knights and explain that a magical war is coming, Bree has to decide how far she’ll go for the truth and whether she should use her magic to take the society down—or join the fight.]]>
502 Tracy Deonn 1534441603 Melanie 4
“They are past-tensing my heart—my whole beating, bleeding, torn heart—right in front of me.”

I really enjoyed this one so much, much like most of my friends on goodreads. I also adore an arthurian legend reimagining, and this one is for sure my new favorite – so smartly done and so galaxy brain, truly. The grief depiction in this is going to mean a lot to so many, and it was also very empathetically and powerfully done, in my opinion. I really love Bree, and she really captured my heart in this book.

evie's

trigger + content warnings: loss of a loved one/parent, hospital settings, talk of car accidents, grief, anxiety, harry potter character mention, racism, a lot of microaggression, talk of police brutality, blood depictions, harm to get blood, death, gore, violence, vomiting, animal death (boar), talk of rape in the past, child abuse in the past, slavery, generational trauma, panic attacks, ptsd, torture, magical compulsion, child birth

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4.31 2020 Legendborn (The Legendborn Cycle, #1)
author: Tracy Deonn
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.31
book published: 2020
rating: 4
read at: 2023/03/01
date added: 2023/04/03
shelves: young-adult, read-in-2023, magic, fantasy, demons, academia
review:
“They are past-tensing my heart—my whole beating, bleeding, torn heart—right in front of me.”

I really enjoyed this one so much, much like most of my friends on goodreads. I also adore an arthurian legend reimagining, and this one is for sure my new favorite – so smartly done and so galaxy brain, truly. The grief depiction in this is going to mean a lot to so many, and it was also very empathetically and powerfully done, in my opinion. I really love Bree, and she really captured my heart in this book.

evie's

trigger + content warnings: loss of a loved one/parent, hospital settings, talk of car accidents, grief, anxiety, harry potter character mention, racism, a lot of microaggression, talk of police brutality, blood depictions, harm to get blood, death, gore, violence, vomiting, animal death (boar), talk of rape in the past, child abuse in the past, slavery, generational trauma, panic attacks, ptsd, torture, magical compulsion, child birth

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She Is a Haunting 60784841 Mexican Gothic.

When Jade Nguyen arrives in Vietnam for a visit with her estranged father, she has one goal: survive five weeks pretending to be a happy family in the French colonial house Ba is restoring. She’s always lied to fit in, so if she’s straight enough, Vietnamese enough, American enough, she can get out with the college money he promised.

But the house has other plans. Night after night, Jade wakes up paralyzed. The walls exude a thrumming sound, while bugs leave their legs and feelers in places they don’t belong. She finds curious traces of her ancestors in the gardens they once tended. And at night Jade can’t ignore the ghost of the beautiful bride who leaves her cryptic warnings: Don’t eat.

Neither Ba nor her sweet sister Lily believe that there is anything strange happening. With help from a delinquent girl, Jade will prove this house—the home her family has always wanted—will not rest until it destroys them. Maybe, this time, she can keep her family together. As she roots out the house’s rot, she must also face the truth of who she is and who she must become to save them all.]]>
352 Trang Thanh Tran 1547610816 Melanie 3
“I'm lost for words over the million little ways we can hurt for family we hardly know.”

I really did love so much about this book, story, the characters. An eldest daughter, seeing all the sacrifices that her family who immigrated to the us are still making for her, while she feels not enough in all the different ways. Seeing colonization seep into everything, from generation after generation, and being unable to look away once you have opened your eyes to it. Feeling different enough in both words already, and being queer on top of it all. This is a very powerful read, with themes that really meant a lot to me. I loved the writing too. I just didn’t love this story, even if i still recommend completely because of the themes. And i will for sure pick up everything else this author does in the future.

internalized biphobia, body horror, bugs, systemic/interpersonal racism, colonialism, death of a parent, blood, bones, depiction of a hanging, murder, mention of domestic abuse. (Food is a significant, thematic thread throughout She Is a Haunting. While the book doesn’t discuss eating disorders, some of the conversations and depiction of food may be difficult for some readers.)

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3.36 2023 She Is a Haunting
author: Trang Thanh Tran
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.36
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/03/30
date added: 2023/04/03
shelves: young-adult, read-in-2023, lgbtqiap, horror, sapphic
review:
“I'm lost for words over the million little ways we can hurt for family we hardly know.”

I really did love so much about this book, story, the characters. An eldest daughter, seeing all the sacrifices that her family who immigrated to the us are still making for her, while she feels not enough in all the different ways. Seeing colonization seep into everything, from generation after generation, and being unable to look away once you have opened your eyes to it. Feeling different enough in both words already, and being queer on top of it all. This is a very powerful read, with themes that really meant a lot to me. I loved the writing too. I just didn’t love this story, even if i still recommend completely because of the themes. And i will for sure pick up everything else this author does in the future.

internalized biphobia, body horror, bugs, systemic/interpersonal racism, colonialism, death of a parent, blood, bones, depiction of a hanging, murder, mention of domestic abuse. (Food is a significant, thematic thread throughout She Is a Haunting. While the book doesn’t discuss eating disorders, some of the conversations and depiction of food may be difficult for some readers.)

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<![CDATA[A Dowry of Blood (A Dowry of Blood, #1)]]> 60521937
This is my last love letter to you, though some would call it a confession. . .

Saved from the brink of death by a mysterious stranger, Constanta is transformed from a medieval peasant into a bride fit for an undying king. But when Dracula draws a cunning aristocrat and a starving artist into his web of passion and deceit, Constanta realizes that her beloved is capable of terrible things.

Finding comfort in the arms of her rival consorts, she begins to unravel their husband's dark secrets. With the lives of everyone she loves on the line, Constanta will have to choose between her own freedom and her love for her husband. But bonds forged by blood can only be broken by death.]]>
292 S.T. Gibson 0316501077 Melanie 4
“I made you into my private Christ, supplicated with my own dark devotions.”

I love epistolary novels, but this one could very well be my favorite. This is a reimagining of dracula, but told from the pov of his first bride who is writing a letter to him about their story, and we learn from the very first letter that she became his downfall. But this is also a story about abusive relationships and how power dynamics, manipulation, gaslighting, are sometimes very difficult to see. We get to see their story unfold from the very first day he made her a vampire under the promise of saving her to the very end where promises of love could no longer be masked as unconditional.

This book also very much discusses consent and how power dynamics and manipulation also can play a part in an individual saying yes when they may not under other healthier and safer circumstances. And also just… how hard it can be to leave an abusive relationship… especially when he is a powerful immortal vampire.

There is a lot of overall morally grey things happening too, and something in part 3 I just personally didn’t love - so that is why this sadly did not receive a full five stars from me. But everything else was actual perfection, the writing felt like eating honey in reading form (truly some of the best prose I've read in years), and overall this was such a powerful read that i know i will keep with me forever.

trigger + content warnings: blood, war, death, murder, abuse, gaslighting, ptsd, trauma, grief, depression, self harm for blood, self harm (with needle), anxiety, plague, medical experimentation, brief mention of human trafficking, loss of a loved one

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3.90 2021 A Dowry of Blood (A Dowry of Blood, #1)
author: S.T. Gibson
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.90
book published: 2021
rating: 4
read at: 2023/02/11
date added: 2023/03/30
shelves: adult, historical, horror, lgbtqiap, vampires, retellings, read-in-2023, sapphic, romance, signed, epistolary
review:
“I made you into my private Christ, supplicated with my own dark devotions.”

I love epistolary novels, but this one could very well be my favorite. This is a reimagining of dracula, but told from the pov of his first bride who is writing a letter to him about their story, and we learn from the very first letter that she became his downfall. But this is also a story about abusive relationships and how power dynamics, manipulation, gaslighting, are sometimes very difficult to see. We get to see their story unfold from the very first day he made her a vampire under the promise of saving her to the very end where promises of love could no longer be masked as unconditional.

This book also very much discusses consent and how power dynamics and manipulation also can play a part in an individual saying yes when they may not under other healthier and safer circumstances. And also just… how hard it can be to leave an abusive relationship… especially when he is a powerful immortal vampire.

There is a lot of overall morally grey things happening too, and something in part 3 I just personally didn’t love - so that is why this sadly did not receive a full five stars from me. But everything else was actual perfection, the writing felt like eating honey in reading form (truly some of the best prose I've read in years), and overall this was such a powerful read that i know i will keep with me forever.

trigger + content warnings: blood, war, death, murder, abuse, gaslighting, ptsd, trauma, grief, depression, self harm for blood, self harm (with needle), anxiety, plague, medical experimentation, brief mention of human trafficking, loss of a loved one

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<![CDATA[A Little Hatred (The Age of Madness, #1)]]> 35606041
On the blood-soaked borders of Angland, Leo dan Brock struggles to win fame on the battlefield, and defeat the marauding armies of Stour Nightfall. He hopes for help from the crown. But King Jezal's son, the feckless Prince Orso, is a man who specializes in disappointments.

Savine dan Glokta - socialite, investor, and daughter of the most feared man in the Union - plans to claw her way to the top of the slag-heap of society by any means necessary. But the slums boil over with a rage that all the money in the world cannot control.

The age of the machine dawns, but the age of magic refuses to die. With the help of the mad hillwoman Isern-i-Phail, Rikke struggles to control the blessing, or the curse, of the Long Eye. Glimpsing the future is one thing, but with the guiding hand of the First of the Magi still pulling the strings, changing it will be quite another...

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480 Joe Abercrombie 031618716X Melanie 4
“Why folk insisted on singing about great warriors all the time, Rikke couldn’t have said. Why not sing about really good fishermen, or bakers, or roofers, or some other folk who actually left the world a better place, rather than heaping up corpses and setting fire to things?”

i will forever be a character driven reader, and oh my god did joe abercrombie make me fall in love with every character he created in this book - from heroes, to villains, to... mostly all the characters are that grey area in-between. i really loved this set up, and the ending left me requesting book two from my library upon reading the last page.

also, i know this will make a few of you sad at me - but this is my first abercrombie (i know, i know)! i will most likely go back and read the previous series connecting to this world's past, but i just wanted to finally read a abercrombie and i thought picking up his most recent work was the safest bet. but this book has so many moments where you just know it would be more impactful if you knew this person (or this person's parents)! so i do also completely acknowledge that if i were familiar with all his work, i probably would have given this five stars! but also - if you pick it up on its own, and are a lover of character driven, multiple povs, adult fantasy - i think you will also really enjoy this one!

okay to quickly just let you guys know my very brief thoughts on these characters:
☆ rikke - loml. that ending, that vision, oh i am currently living on baited breath.
☆ orso - second loml. a charming + kind prince with a broken heart is always gonna win me over.
☆ broad - the actual reason i will read the previous books. his chapters were everything.
☆ savine - i love her too, and i know she is gonna be everything in the next books, but girl whewww
☆ leo -my heart does go out to him for many reasons, but we will see what the next book has in store
☆ vick - very complex character who my heart goes out to but i also do not trust whatsoever
☆ stour - dude's real bad, but i am so excited for the next book >.<

trigger + content warnings: war, uprisings, battles, violence, gore, blood, murder, death, loss of loved one, death of child, child labor, talk of child abuse, labor camps, animal death, ptsd depiction, a lot of drug use (cocaine like), threat of rape, threat of torture, torture, suicide, captivity, abduction, colorism, racism, homophobia, fatphobic comments, ableist language, dubious consent a little bit imo, incest, seizures, menstruation, vomiting, mention of cannibalism.

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4.44 2019 A Little Hatred (The Age of Madness, #1)
author: Joe Abercrombie
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.44
book published: 2019
rating: 4
read at: 2023/03/27
date added: 2023/03/29
shelves: adult, fantasy, read-in-2023, dark
review:
“Why folk insisted on singing about great warriors all the time, Rikke couldn’t have said. Why not sing about really good fishermen, or bakers, or roofers, or some other folk who actually left the world a better place, rather than heaping up corpses and setting fire to things?”

i will forever be a character driven reader, and oh my god did joe abercrombie make me fall in love with every character he created in this book - from heroes, to villains, to... mostly all the characters are that grey area in-between. i really loved this set up, and the ending left me requesting book two from my library upon reading the last page.

also, i know this will make a few of you sad at me - but this is my first abercrombie (i know, i know)! i will most likely go back and read the previous series connecting to this world's past, but i just wanted to finally read a abercrombie and i thought picking up his most recent work was the safest bet. but this book has so many moments where you just know it would be more impactful if you knew this person (or this person's parents)! so i do also completely acknowledge that if i were familiar with all his work, i probably would have given this five stars! but also - if you pick it up on its own, and are a lover of character driven, multiple povs, adult fantasy - i think you will also really enjoy this one!

okay to quickly just let you guys know my very brief thoughts on these characters:
☆ rikke - loml. that ending, that vision, oh i am currently living on baited breath.
☆ orso - second loml. a charming + kind prince with a broken heart is always gonna win me over.
☆ broad - the actual reason i will read the previous books. his chapters were everything.
☆ savine - i love her too, and i know she is gonna be everything in the next books, but girl whewww
☆ leo -my heart does go out to him for many reasons, but we will see what the next book has in store
☆ vick - very complex character who my heart goes out to but i also do not trust whatsoever
☆ stour - dude's real bad, but i am so excited for the next book >.<

trigger + content warnings: war, uprisings, battles, violence, gore, blood, murder, death, loss of loved one, death of child, child labor, talk of child abuse, labor camps, animal death, ptsd depiction, a lot of drug use (cocaine like), threat of rape, threat of torture, torture, suicide, captivity, abduction, colorism, racism, homophobia, fatphobic comments, ableist language, dubious consent a little bit imo, incest, seizures, menstruation, vomiting, mention of cannibalism.

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Honey & Spice 59088365 Introducing internationally bestselling author Bolu Babalola's dazzling debut novel, full of passion, humor, and heart, that centers on a young Black British woman who has no interest in love and unexpectedly finds herself caught up in a fake relationship with the man she warned her girls about

Sweet like plantain, hot like pepper. They taste the best when together...

Sharp-tongued (and secretly soft-hearted) Kiki Banjo has just made a huge mistake. As an expert in relationship-evasion and the host of the popular student radio show Brown Sugar, she's made it her mission to make sure the women of the African-Caribbean Society at Whitewell University do not fall into the mess of "situationships", players, and heartbreak. But when the Queen of the Unbothered kisses Malakai Korede, the guy she just publicly denounced as "The Wastemen of Whitewell," in front of every Blackwellian on campus, she finds her show on the brink.

They're soon embroiled in a fake relationship to try and salvage their reputations and save their futures. Kiki has never surrendered her heart before, and a player like Malakai won't be the one to change that, no matter how charming he is or how electric their connection feels. But surprisingly entertaining study sessions and intimate, late-night talks at old-fashioned diners force Kiki to look beyond her own presumptions. Is she ready to open herself up to something deeper?

A gloriously funny and sparkling debut novel, Honey and Spice is full of delicious tension and romantic intrigue that will make you weak at the knees.]]>
368 Bolu Babalola 0063141485 Melanie 5
“The world is doable when she is near me.”

oh i was invested in so much... this was the best romance ive read in years! highly highly highly recommend! but as much as i loved the romance, the friendships were really the star of this for me. healing, and hope, and building new friendships, and rebuilding old friendships. and seeing platonic breakups be even harder than romantic breaks ups so much of the time, and the trauma that can come from that... very beautiful and powerful to me. i loved this completely.

♡ buddy read with penny
evie's

trigger + content warnings: racism, colorism, harassment, unwanted touching, police brutality, cancer, sick parent, hospital/medical talk, talk of cheating, anxiety, trauma, mention of throwing up, blackmail, unwanted photos being taken, parent cheating in past

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3.89 2022 Honey & Spice
author: Bolu Babalola
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.89
book published: 2022
rating: 5
read at: 2023/02/20
date added: 2023/03/29
shelves: contemporary, romance, read-in-2023, buddy-reads
review:
“The world is doable when she is near me.”

oh i was invested in so much... this was the best romance ive read in years! highly highly highly recommend! but as much as i loved the romance, the friendships were really the star of this for me. healing, and hope, and building new friendships, and rebuilding old friendships. and seeing platonic breakups be even harder than romantic breaks ups so much of the time, and the trauma that can come from that... very beautiful and powerful to me. i loved this completely.

♡ buddy read with penny
evie's

trigger + content warnings: racism, colorism, harassment, unwanted touching, police brutality, cancer, sick parent, hospital/medical talk, talk of cheating, anxiety, trauma, mention of throwing up, blackmail, unwanted photos being taken, parent cheating in past

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<![CDATA[Finlay Donovan Is Killing It (Finlay Donovan, #1)]]> 53138099 "Getting the job done" for one single mom takes on a whole new meaning in Finlay Donovan is Killing It.

Finlay Donovan is killing it . . . except, she’s really not. She’s a stressed-out single-mom of two and struggling novelist, Finlay’s life is in chaos: the new book she promised her literary agent isn’t written, her ex-husband fired the nanny without telling her, and this morning she had to send her four-year-old to school with hair duct-taped to her head after an incident with scissors.

When Finlay is overheard discussing the plot of her new suspense novel with her agent over lunch, she’s mistaken for a contract killer, and inadvertently accepts an offer to dispose of a problem husband in order to make ends meet . . . Soon, Finlay discovers that crime in real life is a lot more difficult than its fictional counterpart, as she becomes tangled in a real-life murder investigation.

Fast-paced, deliciously witty, and wholeheartedly authentic in depicting the frustrations and triumphs of motherhood in all its messiness, hilarity, and heartfelt moment, Finlay Donovan Is Killing It is the first in a brilliant new series from YA Edgar Award nominee Elle Cosimano.]]>
355 Elle Cosimano 1250241707 Melanie 4
trigger + content warnings: mention of cheating in past, blood, abusive relationships, drugging attempt, mention of stalking, mention of sexual assault + rape, mention of taking photos without consent, mention of blackmail, very brief mention of trafficking, maybe a very brief mention of cancer ("the big c"), hurt/abandoned dog.

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3.98 2021 Finlay Donovan Is Killing It (Finlay Donovan, #1)
author: Elle Cosimano
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.98
book published: 2021
rating: 4
read at: 2023/02/06
date added: 2023/03/29
shelves: contemporary, read-in-2023, mystery, cozy
review:
okay i am so not the target audience for this, and i still really loved it. and i was constantly surprised, which is something i didnt expect going in! but it did touch on some dark things, so i will post some tw/cw down below, but highly recommend this to anyone, even if you think it's not for you! (maybe especially if you think it's not for you!)

trigger + content warnings: mention of cheating in past, blood, abusive relationships, drugging attempt, mention of stalking, mention of sexual assault + rape, mention of taking photos without consent, mention of blackmail, very brief mention of trafficking, maybe a very brief mention of cancer ("the big c"), hurt/abandoned dog.

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Emergency Skin 49669410
An explorer returns to gather information from a climate-ravaged Earth that his ancestors, and others among the planet’s finest, fled centuries ago. The mission comes with a warning: a graveyard world awaits him. But so do those left behind—hopeless and unbeautiful wastes of humanity who should have died out eons ago. After all this time, there’s no telling how they’ve devolved. Steel yourself, soldier. Get in. Get out. And try not to stare.

N. K. Jemisin’s Emergency Skin is part of Forward, a collection of six stories of the near and far future from out-of-this-world authors. Each piece can be read or listened to in a single thought-provoking sitting.]]>
38 N.K. Jemisin 1542093570 Melanie 5 the collection on goodreads

"Not kings. Just selfish men."

nk jemisin is so brilliant and such a gift to our world. i really recommend going into this one without reading reviews, just enjoy this wonderfully crafted story that is very clever and... ahhh, i just love jemisin so much.

also, personal to me, i love an unexpected colorado river mention :)

tw/cw: racism, colorism, misogyny, misgendering, slavery, mention of cancer, ageism, ableism, fatphobia

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4.02 2019 Emergency Skin
author: N.K. Jemisin
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.02
book published: 2019
rating: 5
read at: 2023/02/02
date added: 2023/03/29
shelves: adult, sci-fi, read-in-2023, short-stories
review:

the collection on goodreads

"Not kings. Just selfish men."

nk jemisin is so brilliant and such a gift to our world. i really recommend going into this one without reading reviews, just enjoy this wonderfully crafted story that is very clever and... ahhh, i just love jemisin so much.

also, personal to me, i love an unexpected colorado river mention :)

tw/cw: racism, colorism, misogyny, misgendering, slavery, mention of cancer, ageism, ableism, fatphobia

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<![CDATA[That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf (Mead Mishaps, #2)]]> 60865821
Dealing with a pirate ship full of demons that just moved into town was hard enough. Now on top of it, I have to convince a werewolf that I'm not his fated mate, he's just drugged. Easier said than done.

Though I have to say, having a gorgeous man show up and do all of your chores while telling you you're beautiful isn't the worst thing to happen to a girl.]]>
204 Kimberly Lemming Melanie 4 That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon ★★★

okay, i just love this world a whole lot. this book was even better for me, because we mostly got to stay in this little village that has completely stolen my heart. this second installment follows cin's best friend, brie, who is also a big lover of paranormal romance, get to live her best romantic main character life. but much like the first book, these also deal with some heavy themes. but there is also so much light, happiness, and laughter within these pages. oh and a lot of steam [spoilers removed]!

i extra think this one would be perfect for the autumn season. and... i just cannot wait for more books in this series, but i truly never want to leave this world!

“The stoic barmaid and flirtatious orc. I'd read that romance novel any day.”

light bdsm, dubcon, violence, sexually explicit content

other cw/tw that i wrote down while reading: drinking, harassment, attempted drugging, mention of vomit, kidnapping, human trafficking, threat of heart attack/fear of heart attack, talk of abandonment in past, self harm to get blood for magic, cults, mention of plague + sickness, insufferable incels lol

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4.04 2022 That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf (Mead Mishaps, #2)
author: Kimberly Lemming
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.04
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2023/03/24
date added: 2023/03/28
shelves: shifters, romance, adult, steamy-scenes, read-in-2023, fantasy, cozy, dragons, lgbtqiap, demons
review:
1.) That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon ★★★

okay, i just love this world a whole lot. this book was even better for me, because we mostly got to stay in this little village that has completely stolen my heart. this second installment follows cin's best friend, brie, who is also a big lover of paranormal romance, get to live her best romantic main character life. but much like the first book, these also deal with some heavy themes. but there is also so much light, happiness, and laughter within these pages. oh and a lot of steam [spoilers removed]!

i extra think this one would be perfect for the autumn season. and... i just cannot wait for more books in this series, but i truly never want to leave this world!

“The stoic barmaid and flirtatious orc. I'd read that romance novel any day.”

light bdsm, dubcon, violence, sexually explicit content

other cw/tw that i wrote down while reading: drinking, harassment, attempted drugging, mention of vomit, kidnapping, human trafficking, threat of heart attack/fear of heart attack, talk of abandonment in past, self harm to get blood for magic, cults, mention of plague + sickness, insufferable incels lol

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<![CDATA[That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon (Mead Mishaps, #1)]]> 58648147
After saving the demon Fallon in a wine-drunk stupor, all he wanted to do was kill an evil witch enslaving his people.

I mean, I get it, don't get me wrong. But he's dragging me along for the ride, and I'm kind of peeved about it. On the bright side, he keeps burning off his shirt.]]>
260 Kimberly Lemming Melanie 3
light bdsm, dubcon, violence, sexually explicit content

other cw/tw that i wrote down while reading: drinking, loss of a loved one in past, grief depiction, threat of sexual violence, violence, abuse, slavery, blood, torture, vomit, animal death (alligator haha), mention of kidnapping, fatphobic comments that are in a negative light + immediately challenged/shut down

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3.87 2021 That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon (Mead Mishaps, #1)
author: Kimberly Lemming
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.87
book published: 2021
rating: 3
read at: 2023/03/20
date added: 2023/03/28
shelves: steamy-scenes, romance, demons, dragons, fantasy, read-in-2023, adult, shifters, cozy
review:
this is such a delightful cozy fantasy, but it also does have some higher stakes at play, while also talking about some, and having some, heavier themes and topics. (please look at some content warnings down below!) but i really enjoyed this one, especially the first half and set up. this also is a four part quest storyline, and you all know how much i love watching characters travel to their adventures! i was so impressed with this, and i promise it is a very high three star, but i just didn't love how... intense.. the love interest was towards the last half of this book. but i very much do not think that will be an issue for many readers, especially romance readers! plus cinnamon is just the absolutely best main character, and she is so effortlessly funny! i am so excited to continue on in this world!

light bdsm, dubcon, violence, sexually explicit content

other cw/tw that i wrote down while reading: drinking, loss of a loved one in past, grief depiction, threat of sexual violence, violence, abuse, slavery, blood, torture, vomit, animal death (alligator haha), mention of kidnapping, fatphobic comments that are in a negative light + immediately challenged/shut down

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The Mythic Dream 43807268 An all-new anthology of eighteen classic myth retellings featuring an all-star lineup of award-winning and critically acclaimed writers.

Madeleine L’Engle once said, “When we lose our myths we lose our place in the universe.” The Mythic Dream gathers together eighteen stories that reclaim the myths that shaped our collective past, and use them to explore our present and future. From Hades and Persephone to Kali, from Loki to Inanna, this anthology explores retellings of myths across cultures and civilizations.

Featuring award-winning and critically acclaimed writers such as Seanan McGuire, Naomi Novik, Rebecca Roanhorse, JY Yang, Alyssa Wong, Indrapramit Das, Carlos Hernandez, Sarah Gailey, Ann Leckie, John Chu, Ursula Vernon, Carmen Maria Machado, Stephen Graham Jones, Arkady Martine, Amal El-Mohtar, Jeffrey Ford, and more, The Mythic Dream is sure to become a new classic.]]>
368 Dominik Parisien Melanie 3 Robots vs. Fairies ★★★

━━♡ Phantoms of the Midway by Seanan McGuire ★★★
a very beautiful, smart, sweet, and sapphic hades + persephone reimagining. our main character lives with her mom among a traveling circus, but this current stop is going to be very different for them both. i didn't love this at first, but by the end i was emotional and invested.

tw/cw: mention of fire in past, mention of death of a child in past

━━♡ The Justified by Ann Leckie ★★
an interesting futuristic scifi reimagining of sekhmet/hathor. they just wanted to live a life of solitude, but mankind can be so annoying (very true). sadly, this one just wasn't for me.

tw/cw: blood, death, murder, gore, violence

━━♡ Fisher-Bird by T Kingfisher ★★
a reimagining of the labors of hercules, but it took me far too long to figure that out. this was supposed to be funny with mentions of different gods and stories, but it just really wasn't for me personally.

tw/cw: very brief mentions of cannibalism and animal deaths

━━♡ A Brief Lesson in Native American Astronomy by Rebecca Roanhorse ★★★
a very unsettling story, about a futuristic cyberpunk world where, if you're powerful enough, you can prolong lives + memories digitally... but at a cost for sure.

tw/cw: death, grief, unsettling imagery of decomposition

━━♡ Bridge of Crows by Neon Yang ★★★★★

"Sometimes, to undo all the wrongs you have to undo the entire system."

absolute perfection. this is a , but sapphic scifi masterpiece, reimagining. this is a new tale within old tales and it really just blew me away from first to last sentence. this is a mini quest, where our main character is going up a mountain to seek a powerful witch's help - which sounds amazing on it's own, but it's layered with so much more. from love + sacrifices, to broken + corrupt systems, to how we perceive stories being told to us + how they can be so much bigger and/or smaller... this was just everything for me as a reader and ended so powerfully. (also our mc is fae which you all know is always an added bonus for me!)

tw/cw: captivity, banishment, talk of war

━━♡ Labbatu Takes Command of the Flagship "Heaven Dwells Within" by Arkady Martine ★★★★
sumerian poetry, but make it a space opera. this was impressive and enthralling and i know i will be thinking about these origin stories for a long time to come. this is a story about how the greatest captain + thief captured a starship... while being brave, and charming, and empowering. i am even more excited to finally read a memory called empire soon (i promise)!

tw/cw: blood, talk of war, brief fighting/battle scenes. i see some reviews didn't like the more bold language used in this, but i think it just added to the power of inanna + the story! :)

━━♡ Wild to Covet by Sarah Gailey ★★
a modern historical story about thetis from greek mythos, who is most known for being achilles’ mom… and whose story ends when his story ends. this is all about identity and being more than just a vessel for childbirth, but i just didn't enjoy reading it. i feel like i should have loved this, but i just didn't.

tw/cw: blood, war, loss of a child

━━♡ ¡Cuidado! ¡Que Viene el Coco! by Carlos Hernandez ★★★★★
oh, this was heartbreakingly lovely. this is a story a little bit about el coco, the cuban boogeyman-like entity! but mostly this is a story about mental health, fatherhood, and navigating parenthood as a child who was abused. with a lot of themes of sacrifice, forgiveness, and love. We follow a man, on a ship alone with only his ai psychologist and his baby. we get to also see his relationship with his currently separated wife, and we get to see his past and his present living with BPD. this was able to evoke so much emotion from me, and was just a wonderful reminder of how much i love powerful, beautiful, quiet short fiction like this. (and finding new authors through anthology bindups!)

tw/cw: mention of suicidal thoughts, mentions of child abuse + abusive parents in past, self harm, dissociation, scary imagery

━━♡ He Fell Howling by Stephen Graham Jones ★★★★★

"I don't bite holes in the world because I dislike the world, I bite holes in it because I have these teeth."

oh, i know this is going to be a polarizing one because of the darkness to this story, but this was insanely well crafted and told - i loved it. this is a imagining of what happens to lycaon after zeus curses him for feeding him his own child. this is a very unsettling story as we see lycaon become a wolf (think werewolf/lycanthrope... get it), where his hunger for power and vengeance and cruelty does not stop in this new animal body. this is very much a story told in the pov of a villain gaining strength at any cost to take down another villain... oh, and he is personally telling the story to you so it's even more chilling and haunting. this is not going to be for everyone, but this is short form horror perfection for me.

tw/cw: cannibalism (and... as a wolf eating his own wolf pups too), human sacrifice, human death, animal death, animal sacrifice, blood depiction, mention of spiders, implications of sexual assault

━━♡ Curses Like Words, Like Feathers, Like Stories by Kat Howard ★★
this was so beautifully + lyrically written rendition of the children of lir, but it also analyzes how that story feels disjointed, almost as if it were two stories combined, maybe as if someone else wrote the ending. this also discusses how stories are passed down, and how things can change over time, and this author does a beautiful job honoring her attachment to the story. i personally didn't love this one, but i loved the writing and what it obviously meant to the author.

tw/cw: grief depiction

━━♡ Across the River by Leah Cypress ★★
a story about a jewish poet, living in germany, who can see a magical river that most people cannot. then a sorcerer comes to town killing jewish people with just a touch, and our mc asks the river for help. this is a retelling of the sambatyon, but also inspired by a real life man who was cited to have some of this water from the story trapped in a glass. sadly, this one just didn't work for me as a reader.

tw/cw: antisemitism, unwanted touching, talk of death + murder

━━♡ Sisyphus in Elysium by Jeffrey Ford ★★
this was for sure the one that felt most like a retelling for me. this is the story of sisyphus, who is being punished, by hades for cheating death, by pushing a huge bolder up a hill, until it crashes and disappears. we get to see him ponder about life, think of his mistakes, realize what is important in life. and i feel like it makes the reader think about life and eternity, but it didn't leave me feeling anything and i just didn't really enjoy this one.

tw/cw: talk of death, mention of cannibalism, isolation depiction. fighting

━━♡ Kali_Na by Indrapramit Das ★★★
inspired from a hindu goddess but also by the microsoft ai bot who was corrupted by racist online trolls. this was a very smart, but very heavy on the heart to read story. we get to see this vr world being ruled by myths and religion and all things social media, while also seeing that our actual world is ruled by the very same. and how evil people will profit on all three of these things simultaneously, if they are able. especially when the backdrop of both worlds are filled with hate, racism, and misogynistic views. and the people are able to be very bold, very loud, and very proud to be anonymously hateful.

tw/cw: online harassment, verbal abuse, colorism, + just harmful and scary online bullying and abuse

━━♡ Live Stream by Alyssa Wong ★★★★★
if you've read my anthology reviews in the past, you might know that alyssa wong is my favorite short story writer of all time. this was, hands down, the story i was most excited for, and i really did love it a lot, even if i read it with such a heavy heart. being a women who puts herself into online spaces that are mostly populated by cis men can be such scary experience in general, but i feel like anything involving the video game community is ten times amplified. this is a reimagining of artemis and actaeon, but told from the pov of a twitch streamer who is facing unmeasurable online harassment because of a man in the industry with immense power. and sadly, this is such a reality for so many people who i personally know. it just hit hard for so many reasons, but hit harder knowing this is something a favorite author of mine has also dealt with. (cis men marvel stans can be pretty horrible too!) but this story is very powerful, and also talks about surviving, and finding support systems, and taking back your own agency and communities and power. ahhh, i dunno... i just love alyssa a lot a lot. i bet this one resonates a lot with people reading this review, too!

tw/cw: sexual assault, stalking, pictures being taken and shared without consent, harassment, online abuse, power imbalances, vomiting, blood mention, anxiety depictions, maybe agoraphobia

━━♡ Close Enough for Jazz by John Chu ★★
this one just was not for me whatsoever. this is a "reaction" to idun, goddess of youth, where we see a tech startup pitching those magical apples, but these can change your body autonomy... kinda. this is also about how society and corporations will always try to capitalize off the very deep discussion on body image, but i just felt like this wasn't very well done/could have been done better.

tw/cw: mechanical spiders, power imbalances, and lots of themes of body image

━━♡ Buried Deep by Naomi Novik ★★
one of my favorite things in literature is a good big sister + little brother relationship, so i feel like this reimagining of ariadne and the minotaur really should have worked for me, but it just didn't. i loved seeing this tale told from ariadne's point of view, and i adored reading the unwavering unconditional love she had for her brother, but it was just so long and dare i say everything else but the sibling relationship was boring.

tw/cw: abandonment, captivity, slavery, human sacrifice, death, physical abuse, horrible parents

━━♡ The Things Eric Eats Before He Eats Himself by Carmen Maria Machado ★★★
carmen maria machado is one of my favorite short story writers of all time, so i was very surprised that i didn't love this modern day reimagining of demeter's revenge curse on erysichthon. but maybe i just wasn't in the mood for body horror. probably just wrong short story at the wrong time kind of thing. but a solid story on how some men will truly grow up learning only how to take, and continue to take, regardless of the cost, until it consumes everything.

tw/cw: gore, self mutilation, cannibalism, lots of food descriptions, murder, death, animal death

━━♡ Florilegia; or, Some Lies About Flowers by Amal El-Mohtar ★★★★

"There are so many flowers, and so many birds, and so many women in the word and they all deserve to be more than set dressing in men's stories."

oh, what a beautiful way to end this anthology. a powerful, sapphic, blodeuwedd reimagining that was so heartfelt and just so lovely. and a good reminder that we really can be anything that we want to be, while growing however we want to grow.

tw/cw: abuse, blood, unwanted touching

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3.86 2019 The Mythic Dream
author: Dominik Parisien
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.86
book published: 2019
rating: 3
read at: 2023/03/17
date added: 2023/03/17
shelves: anthologies, read-in-2023, fantasy, retellings, ghosts, lgbtqiap
review:
Robots vs. Fairies ★★★

━━♡ Phantoms of the Midway by Seanan McGuire ★★★
a very beautiful, smart, sweet, and sapphic hades + persephone reimagining. our main character lives with her mom among a traveling circus, but this current stop is going to be very different for them both. i didn't love this at first, but by the end i was emotional and invested.

tw/cw: mention of fire in past, mention of death of a child in past

━━♡ The Justified by Ann Leckie ★★
an interesting futuristic scifi reimagining of sekhmet/hathor. they just wanted to live a life of solitude, but mankind can be so annoying (very true). sadly, this one just wasn't for me.

tw/cw: blood, death, murder, gore, violence

━━♡ Fisher-Bird by T Kingfisher ★★
a reimagining of the labors of hercules, but it took me far too long to figure that out. this was supposed to be funny with mentions of different gods and stories, but it just really wasn't for me personally.

tw/cw: very brief mentions of cannibalism and animal deaths

━━♡ A Brief Lesson in Native American Astronomy by Rebecca Roanhorse ★★★
a very unsettling story, about a futuristic cyberpunk world where, if you're powerful enough, you can prolong lives + memories digitally... but at a cost for sure.

tw/cw: death, grief, unsettling imagery of decomposition

━━♡ Bridge of Crows by Neon Yang ★★★★★

"Sometimes, to undo all the wrongs you have to undo the entire system."

absolute perfection. this is a , but sapphic scifi masterpiece, reimagining. this is a new tale within old tales and it really just blew me away from first to last sentence. this is a mini quest, where our main character is going up a mountain to seek a powerful witch's help - which sounds amazing on it's own, but it's layered with so much more. from love + sacrifices, to broken + corrupt systems, to how we perceive stories being told to us + how they can be so much bigger and/or smaller... this was just everything for me as a reader and ended so powerfully. (also our mc is fae which you all know is always an added bonus for me!)

tw/cw: captivity, banishment, talk of war

━━♡ Labbatu Takes Command of the Flagship "Heaven Dwells Within" by Arkady Martine ★★★★
sumerian poetry, but make it a space opera. this was impressive and enthralling and i know i will be thinking about these origin stories for a long time to come. this is a story about how the greatest captain + thief captured a starship... while being brave, and charming, and empowering. i am even more excited to finally read a memory called empire soon (i promise)!

tw/cw: blood, talk of war, brief fighting/battle scenes. i see some reviews didn't like the more bold language used in this, but i think it just added to the power of inanna + the story! :)

━━♡ Wild to Covet by Sarah Gailey ★★
a modern historical story about thetis from greek mythos, who is most known for being achilles’ mom… and whose story ends when his story ends. this is all about identity and being more than just a vessel for childbirth, but i just didn't enjoy reading it. i feel like i should have loved this, but i just didn't.

tw/cw: blood, war, loss of a child

━━♡ ¡Cuidado! ¡Que Viene el Coco! by Carlos Hernandez ★★★★★
oh, this was heartbreakingly lovely. this is a story a little bit about el coco, the cuban boogeyman-like entity! but mostly this is a story about mental health, fatherhood, and navigating parenthood as a child who was abused. with a lot of themes of sacrifice, forgiveness, and love. We follow a man, on a ship alone with only his ai psychologist and his baby. we get to also see his relationship with his currently separated wife, and we get to see his past and his present living with BPD. this was able to evoke so much emotion from me, and was just a wonderful reminder of how much i love powerful, beautiful, quiet short fiction like this. (and finding new authors through anthology bindups!)

tw/cw: mention of suicidal thoughts, mentions of child abuse + abusive parents in past, self harm, dissociation, scary imagery

━━♡ He Fell Howling by Stephen Graham Jones ★★★★★

"I don't bite holes in the world because I dislike the world, I bite holes in it because I have these teeth."

oh, i know this is going to be a polarizing one because of the darkness to this story, but this was insanely well crafted and told - i loved it. this is a imagining of what happens to lycaon after zeus curses him for feeding him his own child. this is a very unsettling story as we see lycaon become a wolf (think werewolf/lycanthrope... get it), where his hunger for power and vengeance and cruelty does not stop in this new animal body. this is very much a story told in the pov of a villain gaining strength at any cost to take down another villain... oh, and he is personally telling the story to you so it's even more chilling and haunting. this is not going to be for everyone, but this is short form horror perfection for me.

tw/cw: cannibalism (and... as a wolf eating his own wolf pups too), human sacrifice, human death, animal death, animal sacrifice, blood depiction, mention of spiders, implications of sexual assault

━━♡ Curses Like Words, Like Feathers, Like Stories by Kat Howard ★★
this was so beautifully + lyrically written rendition of the children of lir, but it also analyzes how that story feels disjointed, almost as if it were two stories combined, maybe as if someone else wrote the ending. this also discusses how stories are passed down, and how things can change over time, and this author does a beautiful job honoring her attachment to the story. i personally didn't love this one, but i loved the writing and what it obviously meant to the author.

tw/cw: grief depiction

━━♡ Across the River by Leah Cypress ★★
a story about a jewish poet, living in germany, who can see a magical river that most people cannot. then a sorcerer comes to town killing jewish people with just a touch, and our mc asks the river for help. this is a retelling of the sambatyon, but also inspired by a real life man who was cited to have some of this water from the story trapped in a glass. sadly, this one just didn't work for me as a reader.

tw/cw: antisemitism, unwanted touching, talk of death + murder

━━♡ Sisyphus in Elysium by Jeffrey Ford ★★
this was for sure the one that felt most like a retelling for me. this is the story of sisyphus, who is being punished, by hades for cheating death, by pushing a huge bolder up a hill, until it crashes and disappears. we get to see him ponder about life, think of his mistakes, realize what is important in life. and i feel like it makes the reader think about life and eternity, but it didn't leave me feeling anything and i just didn't really enjoy this one.

tw/cw: talk of death, mention of cannibalism, isolation depiction. fighting

━━♡ Kali_Na by Indrapramit Das ★★★
inspired from a hindu goddess but also by the microsoft ai bot who was corrupted by racist online trolls. this was a very smart, but very heavy on the heart to read story. we get to see this vr world being ruled by myths and religion and all things social media, while also seeing that our actual world is ruled by the very same. and how evil people will profit on all three of these things simultaneously, if they are able. especially when the backdrop of both worlds are filled with hate, racism, and misogynistic views. and the people are able to be very bold, very loud, and very proud to be anonymously hateful.

tw/cw: online harassment, verbal abuse, colorism, + just harmful and scary online bullying and abuse

━━♡ Live Stream by Alyssa Wong ★★★★★
if you've read my anthology reviews in the past, you might know that alyssa wong is my favorite short story writer of all time. this was, hands down, the story i was most excited for, and i really did love it a lot, even if i read it with such a heavy heart. being a women who puts herself into online spaces that are mostly populated by cis men can be such scary experience in general, but i feel like anything involving the video game community is ten times amplified. this is a reimagining of artemis and actaeon, but told from the pov of a twitch streamer who is facing unmeasurable online harassment because of a man in the industry with immense power. and sadly, this is such a reality for so many people who i personally know. it just hit hard for so many reasons, but hit harder knowing this is something a favorite author of mine has also dealt with. (cis men marvel stans can be pretty horrible too!) but this story is very powerful, and also talks about surviving, and finding support systems, and taking back your own agency and communities and power. ahhh, i dunno... i just love alyssa a lot a lot. i bet this one resonates a lot with people reading this review, too!

tw/cw: sexual assault, stalking, pictures being taken and shared without consent, harassment, online abuse, power imbalances, vomiting, blood mention, anxiety depictions, maybe agoraphobia

━━♡ Close Enough for Jazz by John Chu ★★
this one just was not for me whatsoever. this is a "reaction" to idun, goddess of youth, where we see a tech startup pitching those magical apples, but these can change your body autonomy... kinda. this is also about how society and corporations will always try to capitalize off the very deep discussion on body image, but i just felt like this wasn't very well done/could have been done better.

tw/cw: mechanical spiders, power imbalances, and lots of themes of body image

━━♡ Buried Deep by Naomi Novik ★★
one of my favorite things in literature is a good big sister + little brother relationship, so i feel like this reimagining of ariadne and the minotaur really should have worked for me, but it just didn't. i loved seeing this tale told from ariadne's point of view, and i adored reading the unwavering unconditional love she had for her brother, but it was just so long and dare i say everything else but the sibling relationship was boring.

tw/cw: abandonment, captivity, slavery, human sacrifice, death, physical abuse, horrible parents

━━♡ The Things Eric Eats Before He Eats Himself by Carmen Maria Machado ★★★
carmen maria machado is one of my favorite short story writers of all time, so i was very surprised that i didn't love this modern day reimagining of demeter's revenge curse on erysichthon. but maybe i just wasn't in the mood for body horror. probably just wrong short story at the wrong time kind of thing. but a solid story on how some men will truly grow up learning only how to take, and continue to take, regardless of the cost, until it consumes everything.

tw/cw: gore, self mutilation, cannibalism, lots of food descriptions, murder, death, animal death

━━♡ Florilegia; or, Some Lies About Flowers by Amal El-Mohtar ★★★★

"There are so many flowers, and so many birds, and so many women in the word and they all deserve to be more than set dressing in men's stories."

oh, what a beautiful way to end this anthology. a powerful, sapphic, blodeuwedd reimagining that was so heartfelt and just so lovely. and a good reminder that we really can be anything that we want to be, while growing however we want to grow.

tw/cw: abuse, blood, unwanted touching

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<![CDATA[Once Upon a Broken Heart (Once Upon a Broken Heart, #1)]]> 55987278 How far would you go for happily ever after?

For as long as she can remember, Evangeline Fox has believed in true love and happy endings... until she learns that the love of her life will marry another.

Desperate to stop the wedding and to heal her wounded heart, Evangeline strikes a deal with the charismatic but wicked Prince of Hearts. In exchange for his help, he asks for three kisses, to be given at the time and place of his choosing.

But after Evangeline’s first promised kiss, she learns that bargaining with an immortal is a dangerous game—and that the Prince of Hearts wants far more from her than she’d pledged. He has plans for Evangeline, plans that will either end in the greatest happily ever after or the most exquisite tragedy...]]>
408 Stephanie Garber 1250268397 Melanie 4
“I believe there are far more possibilities than happily ever after or tragedy. Every story has the potential for infinite endings.”

I didn’t know how i’d feel about this one, because even though i loved jacks in the caraval series, he didn’t wrap up that trilogy on the best note for me. But I think i just really like stephanie garber’s writing, and she crafts a type of fairytale whimsy feeling that i just really vibe with as a reader. Yes, give me all the descriptions of clothes and food and gardens and magical doors, i want it all. And then throw in a magical prophecy, some twists and turns with deadly kisses, and some mysterious princes, and i am going to flip those pages with lightning speed. I had so much fun with this, truly. And dare i say, i even liked evangeline more than scarlett and donatella, pink hair and all. [spoilers removed]

[spoilers removed]

trigger + content warnings: blood depictions, self harm to get blood for magic, loss of loved ones (parents), death, violence, a little gore, a lot of magical compulsion, + a mean step parent / parental verbal abuse.

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1.) Caraval ★★★★
2.) Legendary ★★★★
2.) Finale ★★]]>
4.06 2021 Once Upon a Broken Heart (Once Upon a Broken Heart, #1)
author: Stephanie Garber
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.06
book published: 2021
rating: 4
read at: 2023/03/07
date added: 2023/03/07
shelves: young-adult, romance, fantasy, read-in-2023, book-subscription-box, signed, vampires, magic
review:
“I believe there are far more possibilities than happily ever after or tragedy. Every story has the potential for infinite endings.”

I didn’t know how i’d feel about this one, because even though i loved jacks in the caraval series, he didn’t wrap up that trilogy on the best note for me. But I think i just really like stephanie garber’s writing, and she crafts a type of fairytale whimsy feeling that i just really vibe with as a reader. Yes, give me all the descriptions of clothes and food and gardens and magical doors, i want it all. And then throw in a magical prophecy, some twists and turns with deadly kisses, and some mysterious princes, and i am going to flip those pages with lightning speed. I had so much fun with this, truly. And dare i say, i even liked evangeline more than scarlett and donatella, pink hair and all. [spoilers removed]

[spoilers removed]

trigger + content warnings: blood depictions, self harm to get blood for magic, loss of loved ones (parents), death, violence, a little gore, a lot of magical compulsion, + a mean step parent / parental verbal abuse.

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1.) Caraval ★★★★
2.) Legendary ★★★★
2.) Finale ★★
]]>
Even Though I Knew the End 59807975
An exiled auspex who sold her soul to save her brother's life is offered one last job before serving an eternity in hell. When she turns it down, her client sweetens the pot by offering up the one payment she can't resist―the chance to have a future where she grows old with the woman she loves.

To succeed, she is given three days to track down the White City Vampire, Chicago's most notorious serial killer. If she fails, only hell and heartbreak await.]]>
136 C.L. Polk 1250849454 Melanie 4
“I would do anything for you, and I did.”

This is a gorgeous and heartfelt story, set in historical chicago, where we follow a warlock detective trying to capture a serial killer. This book also just had a lot of things that really worked for me, as a reader. It focuses on a sapphic romance throughout, we get to see the main character’s unconditional love for her little brother constantly, and we get to try to solve a mystery with the ritual killer's name being white city vampire but it involving angels and demons. All really cool and beloved things in my heart and personal taste buzzword wheelhouse!

But this is also a book about sacrifice and love and hope and how those three things can take so many different shapes, yet sometimes they look the very same. I highly recommend this one and pray it will be the first book in a series.

trigger + content warnings: a lot of mentions of homophobia, mention of conversion therapy, institutionalization, talk of loss of a loved one, mention of a car accident involving death, abduction, murder, gore, ritual killings, human sacrifice, a lot of blood depictions, self harm for blood for magic, possession, misogyny, brief mention of throwing up, gun violence involving cops, a lot of smoking + alcohol consumption.

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♡ the group book for Bethany's !

Witchmark ★★★]]>
3.80 2022 Even Though I Knew the End
author: C.L. Polk
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.80
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2023/03/03
date added: 2023/03/04
shelves: lgbtqiap, adult, fantasy, sapphic, historical, read-in-2023, novellas, mystery, angels, demons, romance
review:
“I would do anything for you, and I did.”

This is a gorgeous and heartfelt story, set in historical chicago, where we follow a warlock detective trying to capture a serial killer. This book also just had a lot of things that really worked for me, as a reader. It focuses on a sapphic romance throughout, we get to see the main character’s unconditional love for her little brother constantly, and we get to try to solve a mystery with the ritual killer's name being white city vampire but it involving angels and demons. All really cool and beloved things in my heart and personal taste buzzword wheelhouse!

But this is also a book about sacrifice and love and hope and how those three things can take so many different shapes, yet sometimes they look the very same. I highly recommend this one and pray it will be the first book in a series.

trigger + content warnings: a lot of mentions of homophobia, mention of conversion therapy, institutionalization, talk of loss of a loved one, mention of a car accident involving death, abduction, murder, gore, ritual killings, human sacrifice, a lot of blood depictions, self harm for blood for magic, possession, misogyny, brief mention of throwing up, gun violence involving cops, a lot of smoking + alcohol consumption.

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♡ the group book for Bethany's !

Witchmark ★★★
]]>
<![CDATA[Lost in the Moment and Found (Wayward Children, #8)]]> 60784912 A young girl discovers an infinite variety of worlds in this standalone tale in the Hugo and Nebula Award-winning Wayward Children series from Seanan McGuire, Lost in the Moment and Found.

Welcome to the Shop Where the Lost Things Go.

If you ever lost a sock, you’ll find it here.
If you ever wondered about favorite toy from childhood... it’s probably sitting on a shelf in the back.
And the headphones that you swore that this time you’d keep safe? You guessed it….

Antoinette has lost her father. Metaphorically. He’s not in the shop, and she’ll never see him again. But when Antsy finds herself lost (literally, this time), she finds that however many doors open for her, leaving the Shop for good might not be as simple as it sounds.

And stepping through those doors exacts a price.

Lost in the Moment and Found tells us that childhood and innocence, once lost, can never be found.]]>
208 Seanan McGuire 1250213649 Melanie 5 Every Heart a Doorway ★★★★★
2.) Down Among the Sticks and Bones ★★★★★
3.) Beneath the Sugar Sky ★★★★
4.) In an Absent Dream ★★★★★
5.) Come Tumbling Down ★★★
6.) Across the Green Grass Fields ★★★★
7.) Where the Drowned Girls Go ★★★

“Travel can be hard. It wears on the heart, even when it’s done on purpose, and there’s always a cost and a consequence.”

;___; for sure my favorite or 2nd favorite wayward children tale yet. i really loved this even though i felt like i was constantly crying or experiencing the feeling of being on the verge of crying from the author note to the very last page.

all these novellas focus on a very important, but newly introduced theme, while also maintaining the overarching message of finding the place(s) you belong - on your terms, with your health and safety as the number one priority. but the theme of this short story is losing your childhood - in all the ways imaginable. from loss and grief, to feeling unseen and unheard, to being manipulated by people you trust... and they are all very heartbreaking but so very real.

besides this book being very important and feeling very thankful it is in the world, antsy + seanan do an amazing job letting people know they aren't alone and they were never at fault... for anything <3

authors note warnings: grooming, gaslighting, reassurance nothing physical happens (very important and very much impacted my reading experience in a very positive way because of the reassurance)

additional trigger + content warnings that i wrote down while reading: loss of a parent, heart-attack, pedophilia, panic attack, mention of making a small cut to see magic, grief, loss of a sibling, child abuse

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4.29 2023 Lost in the Moment and Found (Wayward Children, #8)
author: Seanan McGuire
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.29
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2023/01/17
date added: 2023/03/02
shelves: novellas, arc, read-in-2023, dark, fantasy
review:
1.) Every Heart a Doorway ★★★★★
2.) Down Among the Sticks and Bones ★★★★★
3.) Beneath the Sugar Sky ★★★★
4.) In an Absent Dream ★★★★★
5.) Come Tumbling Down ★★★
6.) Across the Green Grass Fields ★★★★
7.) Where the Drowned Girls Go ★★★

“Travel can be hard. It wears on the heart, even when it’s done on purpose, and there’s always a cost and a consequence.”

;___; for sure my favorite or 2nd favorite wayward children tale yet. i really loved this even though i felt like i was constantly crying or experiencing the feeling of being on the verge of crying from the author note to the very last page.

all these novellas focus on a very important, but newly introduced theme, while also maintaining the overarching message of finding the place(s) you belong - on your terms, with your health and safety as the number one priority. but the theme of this short story is losing your childhood - in all the ways imaginable. from loss and grief, to feeling unseen and unheard, to being manipulated by people you trust... and they are all very heartbreaking but so very real.

besides this book being very important and feeling very thankful it is in the world, antsy + seanan do an amazing job letting people know they aren't alone and they were never at fault... for anything <3

authors note warnings: grooming, gaslighting, reassurance nothing physical happens (very important and very much impacted my reading experience in a very positive way because of the reassurance)

additional trigger + content warnings that i wrote down while reading: loss of a parent, heart-attack, pedophilia, panic attack, mention of making a small cut to see magic, grief, loss of a sibling, child abuse

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<![CDATA[Mysteries of Thorn Manor (Sorcery of Thorns, #1.5)]]> 61273294
With no access to the outside world, Elisabeth, Nathaniel, and Silas - along with their new maid Mercy - will have to work together to discover the source of the magic behind the malfunctioning wards before they're due to host the city's Midwinter Ball. Not an easy task when the house is filled with unexpected secrets, and all Elisabeth can think about is kissing Nathaniel in peace. But when it becomes clear that the house, influenced by the magic of Nathaniel's ancestors, requires a price for its obedience, Elisabeth and Nathaniel will have to lean on their connection like never before to set things right.

In this delightful sequel novella to the New York Times bestselling Sorcery of Thorns, Elisabeth, Nathaniel, and Silas must unravel the magical trap keeping them inside Thorn Manor in time for their Midwinter Ball!]]>
186 Margaret Rogerson 1665935618 Melanie 3 Sorcery of Thorns ★★★★

“When she opened it, she discovered a handwritten dedication on the patterned endpapers: To my beloved—may you always believe in fairy tales. Smiling, she traced her fingers over the letters, feeling the indentations they had left on the paper. This was one of the things she loved best about books. She might never know who had written the dedication, or how long ago, or to whom, but she could briefly clasp hands with them across eternity, a chance meeting of souls made possible by their shared love of a story.”

this was a super cozy and fun novella that i really recommend if you're missing the amazing characters from sorcery of thorns. and you all know that i adore a magical house setting and exploring all the magical rooms, with some very alive grimoires! but to see it with my favorite sorcerer, apprentice librarian, demon (and a new character)... who are stuck inside this labyrinth during the snowy season? i really was living my best reader life. but sadly, i just didn't love the last half nearly as much as the set up and first half.

this is a very quick, cozy, happy read. and the food descriptions were perfection as well. Elisabeth is just a really good character and i really hope we continue to see more adventures with her and this crew (and demonslayer)! but also, this (in my praying opinion) is a very nice set up for my favorite morally grey demon companion.

i still highly recommend this one, especially on a cozy wintery night!

cw/tw: blood depiction, harm to get blood for magic, grief + trauma depictions, extreme nightmares, loss of a loved on in the past, talk of murders/death. (this is a very light book, and all of these things are very briefly mentioned or shown)

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4.19 2023 Mysteries of Thorn Manor (Sorcery of Thorns, #1.5)
author: Margaret Rogerson
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.19
book published: 2023
rating: 3
read at: 2023/02/12
date added: 2023/02/15
shelves: fantasy, novellas, read-in-2023, cozy, magic
review:
Sorcery of Thorns ★★★★

“When she opened it, she discovered a handwritten dedication on the patterned endpapers: To my beloved—may you always believe in fairy tales. Smiling, she traced her fingers over the letters, feeling the indentations they had left on the paper. This was one of the things she loved best about books. She might never know who had written the dedication, or how long ago, or to whom, but she could briefly clasp hands with them across eternity, a chance meeting of souls made possible by their shared love of a story.”

this was a super cozy and fun novella that i really recommend if you're missing the amazing characters from sorcery of thorns. and you all know that i adore a magical house setting and exploring all the magical rooms, with some very alive grimoires! but to see it with my favorite sorcerer, apprentice librarian, demon (and a new character)... who are stuck inside this labyrinth during the snowy season? i really was living my best reader life. but sadly, i just didn't love the last half nearly as much as the set up and first half.

this is a very quick, cozy, happy read. and the food descriptions were perfection as well. Elisabeth is just a really good character and i really hope we continue to see more adventures with her and this crew (and demonslayer)! but also, this (in my praying opinion) is a very nice set up for my favorite morally grey demon companion.

i still highly recommend this one, especially on a cozy wintery night!

cw/tw: blood depiction, harm to get blood for magic, grief + trauma depictions, extreme nightmares, loss of a loved on in the past, talk of murders/death. (this is a very light book, and all of these things are very briefly mentioned or shown)

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<![CDATA[The Disordered Cosmos: A Journey into Dark Matter, Spacetime, and Dreams Deferred]]> 54455629
In  The Disordered Cosmos , Dr. Chanda Prescod-Weinstein shares her love for physics, from the Standard Model of Particle Physics and what lies beyond it, to the physics of melanin in skin, to the latest theories of dark matter—along with a perspective informed by history, politics, and the wisdom of Star Trek . 

One of the leading physicists of her generation, Dr. Chanda Prescod-Weinstein is also one of fewer than one hundred Black American women to earn a PhD from a department of physics. Her vision of the cosmos is vibrant, buoyantly nontraditional, and grounded in Black and queer feminist lineages. 

Dr. Prescod-Weinstein urges us to recognize how science, like most fields, is rife with racism, misogyny, and other forms of oppression. She lays out a bold new approach to science and society, beginning with the belief that we all have a fundamental right to know and love the night sky.  The Disordered Cosmos  dreams into existence a world that allows everyone to experience and understand the wonders of the universe.]]>
320 Chanda Prescod-Weinstein 1541724704 Melanie 5 read-in-2023, nonfiction
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4.11 2021 The Disordered Cosmos: A Journey into Dark Matter, Spacetime, and Dreams Deferred
author: Chanda Prescod-Weinstein
name: Melanie
average rating: 4.11
book published: 2021
rating: 5
read at: 2023/02/08
date added: 2023/02/08
shelves: read-in-2023, nonfiction
review:
highly recommend this to everyone, but especially people studying and working in stem spaces

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<![CDATA[What the Dead Know (Into Shadow, #4)]]> 62991434
The Fogg River Seminary, a girls’ school in a small Illinois town, is supposed to be just another stop on Maryse and Vasyl’s endless travels. They’ve made lucrative use of Maryse’s “foreign” looks in their melodramatic séance act—and an act is all it is. Then, during their performance, a blizzard sweeps in and cuts them off from town completely. In the freezing halls, there’s a voice speaking the secrets of the dead, and Maryse has no choice but to listen…because this time, the voice is real.]]>
31 Nghi Vo 1662510098 Melanie 3 the collection on goodreads

The Six Deaths of the Saint ★★★★★

“...Maryse had finally learned, after five years as a medium, what the dead spoke of.”

nghi vo is one of my favorite authors, so i knew i would enjoy this short story from this collection. it was spooky, unsettling, and truly all the vibes were exactly what i look for in horror. we follow two people posing as mediums traveling in historical illinois, where they find themselves stranded at a very isolated school for young girls, in a really creepy and unsettling town, with a river that is holding dark secrets.

again, vo is such a talented writer that i felt like i was barely breathing while reading this and watching everything happen. This a very high three star from me, but upon finishing it just really left me wanting more in a good way, but also in a way that really makes me think this story would be better in a longer and more expandable format. i still fully recommend and i am still very curious about this collection of short stories.

trigger and content warnings: racism, blood depictions, murder, death, gore, + maybe choking (the writing is so good and descriptive, it made me feel it a little hehe)

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3.61 2022 What the Dead Know (Into Shadow, #4)
author: Nghi Vo
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.61
book published: 2022
rating: 3
read at: 2023/01/17
date added: 2023/02/04
shelves: read-in-2023, historical, horror, ghosts, short-stories
review:

the collection on goodreads

The Six Deaths of the Saint ★★★★★

“...Maryse had finally learned, after five years as a medium, what the dead spoke of.”

nghi vo is one of my favorite authors, so i knew i would enjoy this short story from this collection. it was spooky, unsettling, and truly all the vibes were exactly what i look for in horror. we follow two people posing as mediums traveling in historical illinois, where they find themselves stranded at a very isolated school for young girls, in a really creepy and unsettling town, with a river that is holding dark secrets.

again, vo is such a talented writer that i felt like i was barely breathing while reading this and watching everything happen. This a very high three star from me, but upon finishing it just really left me wanting more in a good way, but also in a way that really makes me think this story would be better in a longer and more expandable format. i still fully recommend and i am still very curious about this collection of short stories.

trigger and content warnings: racism, blood depictions, murder, death, gore, + maybe choking (the writing is so good and descriptive, it made me feel it a little hehe)

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Bloody Summer 60486693 Her Body and Other Parties.

Tiger, tiger, burning bright, in the forests of the night. In the town of Never-Again, Pennsylvania, this hand-game song contains a history—centuries of inexplicable tiger sightings. A researcher arrives to write yet another academic paper about the well-studied town, called “Big Cats in the Children’s Hand-Games of Never-Again, Pennsylvania.” Nobody expects to find new clues—but, years after a scene of unimaginable violence, the truth about this childish chant is about to come out.

Carmen Maria Machado’s Bloody Summer is part of Trespass, a collection of wild stories about animal instincts, human folly, and survival from award-winning, bestselling authors. Read or listen to each in a single sitting.]]>
28 Carmen Maria Machado 1542035244 Melanie 4 the collection on goodreads

“Even if it meant being wild on soil never meant to bear me.”

This was harrowingly heartbreaking and carmen is really such a gifted author and can evoke so much pain and so much healing, even with so few pages. This short story is told under the guise of a research paper from the future, and moves forward with a new article or new interview, researching children’s hand clapping games that gives clues about how a small Pennsylvania town, named Never-Again, was massacred by tigers in 1999, where only one child did not disappear. With the last interview in this research project being from that sole survivor, now very much an adult. And this reading like a real piece of nonfiction really just added a whole other layer.

But carmen always weaves this unexplainable magic of breaking my heart and simultaneously healing it with each piece they craft, and this short story was no different. To find freedom and power from your trauma(s) is something i deeply wish for everyone.

trigger + content warnings: a lot of off page violence to children, off page rape and sexual assault, off page pedophilia, mention of suicide, mentions of colonization, death, blood depictions, drawing blood, animal death. (i know these are some heavy tws but truly all were done in a very nongraphic way for me, personally. But still use caution for your own self and mindset.)

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3.68 2022 Bloody Summer
author: Carmen Maria Machado
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.68
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2023/02/03
date added: 2023/02/04
shelves: adult, horror, read-in-2023, fantasy, short-stories
review:

the collection on goodreads

“Even if it meant being wild on soil never meant to bear me.”

This was harrowingly heartbreaking and carmen is really such a gifted author and can evoke so much pain and so much healing, even with so few pages. This short story is told under the guise of a research paper from the future, and moves forward with a new article or new interview, researching children’s hand clapping games that gives clues about how a small Pennsylvania town, named Never-Again, was massacred by tigers in 1999, where only one child did not disappear. With the last interview in this research project being from that sole survivor, now very much an adult. And this reading like a real piece of nonfiction really just added a whole other layer.

But carmen always weaves this unexplainable magic of breaking my heart and simultaneously healing it with each piece they craft, and this short story was no different. To find freedom and power from your trauma(s) is something i deeply wish for everyone.

trigger + content warnings: a lot of off page violence to children, off page rape and sexual assault, off page pedophilia, mention of suicide, mentions of colonization, death, blood depictions, drawing blood, animal death. (i know these are some heavy tws but truly all were done in a very nongraphic way for me, personally. But still use caution for your own self and mindset.)

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Twisted Love (Twisted, #1) 60832996
Driven by a tragedy that has haunted him for most of his life, his ruthless pursuits for success and vengeance leave little room for matters of the heart.

But when he’s forced to look after his best friend’s sister, he starts to feel something in his chest:

A crack.
A melt.
A fire that could end his world as he knew it.

***

Ava Chen is a free spirit trapped by nightmares of a childhood she can’t remember.

But despite her broken past, she’s never stopped seeing the beauty in the world… including the heart beneath the icy exterior of a man she shouldn’t want.

Her brother’s best friend.
Her neighbor.
Her savior and her downfall.

Theirs is a love that was never supposed to happen—but when it does, it unleashes secrets that could destroy them both… and everything they hold dear.

Twisted Love is a brother’s best friend/opposites attract romance with a hint of suspense. It's book one in the Twisted series but can be read as a standalone.

WARNING: This book contains a possessive alpha/antihero, explicit sexual content, and profanity. No cheating or menage, but if you're looking for a traditionally sweet, loveable hero, this is not the book for you. Recommended for 18+.
]]>
359 Ana Huang 0349434271 Melanie 3
“Your enemies are my enemies, your friends are my friends, and if you wanted, I would burn down the world for you.”

Let me first say that i really did enjoy reading this and i could not put it down, but this was just not what I was expecting. Which is completely on me, but you’re going to see the trigger warning below and… I truly thought this was going to be a light little romance with a girl and her brother’s bestie and, again, there is no one to blame but myself for not looking at any reviews first, but whew this book got pretty heavy so many times. I still enjoyed it, I can’t wait to read more from this author, but I just don't know if I loved reading this first installment. But I also could not stop reading this and read it pretty much in two sittings, back to back, so I feel happy giving this a good three star rating. But this book heavily puts the childhood trauma for both of our main characters at the forefront of this story, so please use caution and make sure you're in a good head space.

trigger + content warnings: severe aquaphobia (fear of water), blood depictions, abuse/parental abuse, gaslighting, attempted murder, attempted harm to a child, death, murder, grief depiction, depression depiction, ptsd depiction, mention of ex cheating in the past, mention of marital infidelity, divorce, brief mention of sexual assault (not main character), harry potter reference, stalking, assault, unwanted touching, panic attacks, kidnapping, torture, suicide mention/overdose mention, bad nightmares, and loss of loved ones/family members.

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3.63 2021 Twisted Love (Twisted, #1)
author: Ana Huang
name: Melanie
average rating: 3.63
book published: 2021
rating: 3
read at: 2023/01/28
date added: 2023/02/01
shelves: adult, contemporary, steamy-scenes, romance, read-in-2023
review:
“Your enemies are my enemies, your friends are my friends, and if you wanted, I would burn down the world for you.”

Let me first say that i really did enjoy reading this and i could not put it down, but this was just not what I was expecting. Which is completely on me, but you’re going to see the trigger warning below and… I truly thought this was going to be a light little romance with a girl and her brother’s bestie and, again, there is no one to blame but myself for not looking at any reviews first, but whew this book got pretty heavy so many times. I still enjoyed it, I can’t wait to read more from this author, but I just don't know if I loved reading this first installment. But I also could not stop reading this and read it pretty much in two sittings, back to back, so I feel happy giving this a good three star rating. But this book heavily puts the childhood trauma for both of our main characters at the forefront of this story, so please use caution and make sure you're in a good head space.

trigger + content warnings: severe aquaphobia (fear of water), blood depictions, abuse/parental abuse, gaslighting, attempted murder, attempted harm to a child, death, murder, grief depiction, depression depiction, ptsd depiction, mention of ex cheating in the past, mention of marital infidelity, divorce, brief mention of sexual assault (not main character), harry potter reference, stalking, assault, unwanted touching, panic attacks, kidnapping, torture, suicide mention/overdose mention, bad nightmares, and loss of loved ones/family members.

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