Whitney's bookshelf: made-me-cry en-US Mon, 06 May 2024 08:34:19 -0700 60 Whitney's bookshelf: made-me-cry 144 41 /images/layout/goodreads_logo_144.jpg <![CDATA[An Offer From a Gentleman (Bridgertons, #3)]]> 59340141 Sophie Beckett never dreamed she'd be able to sneak into Lady Bridgerton's famed masquerade ball—or that "Prince Charming" would be waiting there for her! Though the daughter of an earl, Sophie has been relegated to the role of servant by her disdainful stepmother. But now, spinning in the strong arms of the debonair and devastatingly handsome Benedict Bridgerton, she feels like royalty. Alas, she knows all enchantments must end when the clock strikes midnight.

Who was that extraordinary woman? Ever since that magical night, a radiant vision in silver has blinded Benedict to the attractions of any other—except, perhaps, this alluring and oddly familiar beauty dressed in housemaid's garb whom he feels compelled to rescue from a most disagreeable situation. He has sworn to find and wed his mystery miss, but this breathtaking maid makes him weak with wanting her. Yet, if he offers her his heart, will Benedict sacrifice his only chance for a fairy tale love?

]]> 483 Julia Quinn Whitney 5
i stayed up until 4 AM on a work night to read this in one sitting. finished it weeping. i understand why they skipped benedict's season because of the time jump in this but I NEED TO SEE THIS ADAPTED ASAP

if you're a whore for cinderella retellings, love at first sight, strangers to enemies to lovers, skip books one and two and dive right into this one. the dialogue and angst in this is TOP NOTCH

the only thing i didn't love is that there's some unresolved anger issues with both characters but given the time period is 1817, i'm not sure how much that could've been helped. but i see why some people would hate this book because of it. personally i support women's rights and wrongs so i couldn't NOT give this five stars]]> 4.19 2001 An Offer From a Gentleman (Bridgertons, #3)
author: Julia Quinn
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.19
book published: 2001
rating: 5
read at: 2024/05/06
date added: 2024/05/06
shelves: kindle-unlimited, superior-enemies-to-lovers, smutty, romance, read-in-2024, favs-of-2024, made-me-cry
review:
BRO???????????

i stayed up until 4 AM on a work night to read this in one sitting. finished it weeping. i understand why they skipped benedict's season because of the time jump in this but I NEED TO SEE THIS ADAPTED ASAP

if you're a whore for cinderella retellings, love at first sight, strangers to enemies to lovers, skip books one and two and dive right into this one. the dialogue and angst in this is TOP NOTCH

the only thing i didn't love is that there's some unresolved anger issues with both characters but given the time period is 1817, i'm not sure how much that could've been helped. but i see why some people would hate this book because of it. personally i support women's rights and wrongs so i couldn't NOT give this five stars
]]> <![CDATA[Broken Throne (Red Queen, #4.5)]]> 42083967
The perfect addition to the #1 New York Times bestselling Red Queen series, this gorgeously designed package features three brand-new novellas, two previously published novellas, Steel Scars and Queen Song, and never-before-seen maps, flags, bonus scenes, journal entries, and much more exclusive content.

Fans will be delighted to catch up with beloved characters after the drama of War Storm and be excited to hear from brand-new voices as well. This stunning collection is not to be missed!]]> 468 Victoria Aveyard 1409176053 Whitney 4
i loved coriane's novella but found farley's mostly boring. the middle story about the disputed lands felt out of place but wasn't entirely uninteresting.

evangeline has my entire heart and i adored the end of her story.

the last 100 pages of this book about mare and cal i spent alternating between giggling and kicking my feet, and then sobbing. heavy on the sobbing in the last ~15 pages.

my biggest shock of 2023 was how much i loved these books, given how low my expectations were. definitely plan to read more from victoria aveyard in the future.]]> 3.79 2019 Broken Throne (Red Queen, #4.5)
author: Victoria Aveyard
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.79
book published: 2019
rating: 4
read at: 2024/01/02
date added: 2024/01/02
shelves: read-in-2024, made-me-cry, from-library
review:
if we're being honest, this book doesn't need to exist. the novellas set after war storm should have just been part of the fourth book because the book ended so abruptly. but i have been CRAVING a continuation, so i was holding my breath in hopes that it would deliver, and it SO did.

i loved coriane's novella but found farley's mostly boring. the middle story about the disputed lands felt out of place but wasn't entirely uninteresting.

evangeline has my entire heart and i adored the end of her story.

the last 100 pages of this book about mare and cal i spent alternating between giggling and kicking my feet, and then sobbing. heavy on the sobbing in the last ~15 pages.

my biggest shock of 2023 was how much i loved these books, given how low my expectations were. definitely plan to read more from victoria aveyard in the future.
]]> Frankenstein 33537 Longman Cultural Editions series, this second edition of Frankenstein presents Mary Shelley's remarkable novel in several provocative and illuminating contexts: cultural, critical, and literary. Series Editor Susan J. Wolfson presents the 1818 version of Mary Shelley's famous novel in its cultural and historical contexts. Like all great works of fiction, Frankenstein gains depth and dimension from its "conversation" with contemporary texts, especially those by Shelley's own parents, husband, and friends. A lively introduction is complemented by a chronology coordinating Shelley's life with key historical events and a speculative calendar of the novel's events in the late eighteenth century. In addition to the 1818 text, this cultural edition features the introduction to and a sample revision of the 1831 version. New to this Edition is Frankentalk, a section of selected references to Frankenstein in the popular press, and the complete text of Richard Brinsley Peake's Frankenstein, A Romantic Drama, the first stage version of Frankenstein.]]> 464 Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley 0321399536 Whitney 5
nothing like reading this entire book aloud to bonnie because i need her to understand why this book is so good. for me it's because i've never read a book that so vividly describes agony. the mental torment these characters go through and the ways they impact each other will never not hit me hard. i can't believe mary woke up and sat down and wrote this at EIGHTEEN?

long story short i am a mont blanc stan and white cishet men need to be humbled. this book is literally the definition of fuck around and find out.

--
original review

WOW.

One of the most powerful books I have ever read that speaks so much about compassion and humanity. I feel on the verge of tears, it was so moving. This is like Phantom of the Opera times a thousand. And I love POTO.]]> 3.95 1818 Frankenstein
author: Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.95
book published: 1818
rating: 5
read at: 2023/11/02
date added: 2023/11/02
shelves: favorites, read-in-2016, for-class, made-me-cry, read-in-2023
review:
2023

nothing like reading this entire book aloud to bonnie because i need her to understand why this book is so good. for me it's because i've never read a book that so vividly describes agony. the mental torment these characters go through and the ways they impact each other will never not hit me hard. i can't believe mary woke up and sat down and wrote this at EIGHTEEN?

long story short i am a mont blanc stan and white cishet men need to be humbled. this book is literally the definition of fuck around and find out.

--
original review

WOW.

One of the most powerful books I have ever read that speaks so much about compassion and humanity. I feel on the verge of tears, it was so moving. This is like Phantom of the Opera times a thousand. And I love POTO.
]]> Sonya's Chickens 24960945 32 Phoebe Wahl 1770497897 Whitney 4 4.20 2015 Sonya's Chickens
author: Phoebe Wahl
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.20
book published: 2015
rating: 4
read at: 2023/11/01
date added: 2023/11/02
shelves: childrens, from-library, made-me-cry, read-in-2023
review:
this book was like a kick to the spleen but it was so short, sweet and well-illustrated that i can't stay mad at it
]]> King's Cage (Red Queen, #3) 35072205
Mare Barrow is a prisoner, powerless without her lightning, tormented by her lethal mistakes. She lives at the mercy of a boy she once loved, a boy made of lies and betrayal. Now a king, Maven Calore continues weaving his dead mother's web in an attempt to maintain control over his country—and his prisoner.

As Mare bears the weight of Silent Stone in the palace, her once-ragtag band of newbloods and Reds continue organizing, training, and expanding. They prepare for war, no longer able to linger in the shadows. And Cal, the exiled prince with his own claim on Mare's heart, will stop at nothing to bring her back.

When blood turns on blood, and ability on ability, there may be no one left to put out the fire—leaving Norta as Mare knows it to burn all the way down.]]> 700 Victoria Aveyard 6023852866 Whitney 5 read-in-2023, made-me-cry 3.77 2017 King's Cage (Red Queen, #3)
author: Victoria Aveyard
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.77
book published: 2017
rating: 5
read at: 2023/10/18
date added: 2023/10/26
shelves: read-in-2023, made-me-cry
review:
leave me alone why are these so good
]]> A Promised Land 55359022 In the stirring, highly anticipated first volume of his presidential memoirs, Barack Obama tells the story of his improbable odyssey from young man searching for his identity to leader of the free world, describing in strikingly personal detail both his political education and the landmark moments of the first term of his historic presidency—a time of dramatic transformation and turmoil.
Obama takes readers on a compelling journey from his earliest political aspirations to the pivotal Iowa caucus victory that demonstrated the power of grassroots activism to the watershed night of November 4, 2008, when he was elected 44th president of the United States, becoming the first African American to hold the nation’s highest office.
Reflecting on the presidency, he offers a unique and thoughtful exploration of both the awesome reach and the limits of presidential power, as well as singular insights into the dynamics of U.S. partisan politics and international diplomacy. Obama brings readers inside the Oval Office and the White House Situation Room, and to Moscow, Cairo, Beijing, and points beyond. We are privy to his thoughts as he assembles his cabinet, wrestles with a global financial crisis, takes the measure of Vladimir Putin, overcomes seemingly insurmountable odds to secure passage of the Affordable Care Act, clashes with generals about U.S. strategy in Afghanistan, tackles Wall Street reform, responds to the devastating Deepwater Horizon blowout, and authorizes Operation Neptune’s Spear, which leads to the death of Osama bin Laden.
A Promised Land is extraordinarily intimate and introspective—the story of one man’s bet with history, the faith of a community organizer tested on the world stage. Obama is candid about the balancing act of running for office as a Black American, bearing the expectations of a generation buoyed by messages of “hope and change,” and meeting the moral challenges of high-stakes decision-making. He is frank about the forces that opposed him at home and abroad, open about how living in the White House affected his wife and daughters, and unafraid to reveal self-doubt and disappointment. Yet he never wavers from his belief that inside the great, ongoing American experiment, progress is always possible.
This beautifully written and powerful book captures Barack Obama’s conviction that democracy is not a gift from on high but something founded on empathy and common understanding and built together, day by day.]]> 701 Barack Obama 1524763160 Whitney 0
withholding a rating because c'mon. can't really sum up a presidency on a five star scale, but i did enjoy this even though it took me months to read.]]> 4.40 2020 A Promised Land
author: Barack Obama
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.40
book published: 2020
rating: 0
read at: 2023/10/12
date added: 2023/10/12
shelves: audiobook, made-me-cry, read-in-2023
review:
reliving (the first half of) obama's presidency as an adult instead of a clueless 11 year old was so interesting, and the audiobook format of this is definitely the way to go. he's such a talented and detailed writer, and even the parts that i didn't really understand -- i relistened to the paragraph about the housing crisis no fewer than five times -- were interesting to hear from his point of view. when the second book comes out i think i'll definitely pick up where we left off, and by that point i think it'll be really interesting to hear because the second half of his presidency is when i really began to gain a social and political awareness, so i'm sure some things will be more familiar.

withholding a rating because c'mon. can't really sum up a presidency on a five star scale, but i did enjoy this even though it took me months to read.
]]> Red Queen (Red Queen, #1) 22328546 This is a world divided by blood—red or silver.

The Reds are commoners, ruled by a Silver elite in possession of god-like superpowers. And to Mare Barrow, a seventeen-year-old Red girl from the poverty-stricken Stilts, it seems like nothing will ever change.

That is until she finds herself working in the Silver Palace. Here, surrounded by the people she hates the most, Mare discovers that, despite her red blood, she possesses a deadly power of her own. One that threatens to destroy the balance of power.

Fearful of Mare's potential, the Silvers hide her in plain view, declaring her a long-lost Silver princess, now engaged to a Silver prince. Despite knowing that one misstep would mean her death, Mare works silently to help the Red Guard, a militant resistance group, and bring down the Silver regime.

But this is a world of betrayal and lies, and Mare has entered a dangerous dance—Reds against Silvers, prince against prince, and Mare against her own heart.]]> 388 Victoria Aveyard 0062310631 Whitney 4 read-in-2023, made-me-cry
i expected this to be interesting, but i didn't anticipate actually really enjoying this!! i always have to give credit when it's due for books that are SO gripping and fast to read that i actually get excited to continue reading whenever i have free time. the world building in this isn't the greatest (literally where's the map?! I NEEDED A MAP VICTORIA), but the society was so simple to understand and it thrusts you immediately into the action.

mare isn't the most interesting main character, but i did find her perceptive and smart. and the times that she wasn't, i actually thought it was pretty realistic. although i enjoyed her characterization, the characters were the factor that brought this book's rating down for me a bit because it was hard to get a grasp on who was friend or foe, not even in a fun way. sometimes the narrator would outright tell the reader in black-and-white terms that this person is good or bad, but they hadn't done anything in the book to prove that to be true, so it felt like the author was feeding us red herrings. and with the amount of betrayals at the end of this book (and the number of times the word "betrayal" was actually used), it was pretty clunky.

i really did like the world and the development of the main character, but this book also had some plot holes around the whole concept of silvers and red bloods. if silvers are the powerful ones who control society, why aren't they smarter? why don't they keep a more watchful eye on reds and the rebellion who are literally right under their noses? and why if mare is an exception to the rules do they not do research on her and her blood? and if the queen has the power to see people's memories, how does she not keep tabs on mare to see that she's working with the rebellion? so many questions arose because it seems like the silvers have the ability to squash the rebels so easily but they were just portrayed quite stupidly.

i realize i'm writing paragraphs and paragraphs about a book that came out almost 10 years ago but i'm actually so surprised, despite my few criticisms, that i liked this so much!! the ending had me actually pacing around my apartment with tears in my eyes and gasping because there were so many unexpected reveals, and it made me emotional. even though this book had its moments of predictability, especially in the first half, i was really surprised that this book wasn't cheesy at all and the plot is a pretty solid foundation for a story. i'm hoping the few holes that i poked in this get solved in the next few volumes. which is high praise, the fact that i just wanted to read this to check a box and yet i'm now so invested i want to read the sequels!!

if you missed out on this one i really think it's worth a shot, especially if you're craving some old-school dystopian with smart characters that'll keep you guessing.]]> 3.98 2015 Red Queen (Red Queen, #1)
author: Victoria Aveyard
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.98
book published: 2015
rating: 4
read at: 2023/09/28
date added: 2023/09/30
shelves: read-in-2023, made-me-cry
review:
i have foolishly made it an errand to read a bunch of the most popular 2010s YA books that i somehow missed out on, and this one was near the top of the list. wildly popular, but at the time it was getting SO many three star reviews that i decided it probably wasn't worth my time. (and being honest, it came out when i was turning 18 and going to college and i was pretending i was better than reading YA. but anywho.)

i expected this to be interesting, but i didn't anticipate actually really enjoying this!! i always have to give credit when it's due for books that are SO gripping and fast to read that i actually get excited to continue reading whenever i have free time. the world building in this isn't the greatest (literally where's the map?! I NEEDED A MAP VICTORIA), but the society was so simple to understand and it thrusts you immediately into the action.

mare isn't the most interesting main character, but i did find her perceptive and smart. and the times that she wasn't, i actually thought it was pretty realistic. although i enjoyed her characterization, the characters were the factor that brought this book's rating down for me a bit because it was hard to get a grasp on who was friend or foe, not even in a fun way. sometimes the narrator would outright tell the reader in black-and-white terms that this person is good or bad, but they hadn't done anything in the book to prove that to be true, so it felt like the author was feeding us red herrings. and with the amount of betrayals at the end of this book (and the number of times the word "betrayal" was actually used), it was pretty clunky.

i really did like the world and the development of the main character, but this book also had some plot holes around the whole concept of silvers and red bloods. if silvers are the powerful ones who control society, why aren't they smarter? why don't they keep a more watchful eye on reds and the rebellion who are literally right under their noses? and why if mare is an exception to the rules do they not do research on her and her blood? and if the queen has the power to see people's memories, how does she not keep tabs on mare to see that she's working with the rebellion? so many questions arose because it seems like the silvers have the ability to squash the rebels so easily but they were just portrayed quite stupidly.

i realize i'm writing paragraphs and paragraphs about a book that came out almost 10 years ago but i'm actually so surprised, despite my few criticisms, that i liked this so much!! the ending had me actually pacing around my apartment with tears in my eyes and gasping because there were so many unexpected reveals, and it made me emotional. even though this book had its moments of predictability, especially in the first half, i was really surprised that this book wasn't cheesy at all and the plot is a pretty solid foundation for a story. i'm hoping the few holes that i poked in this get solved in the next few volumes. which is high praise, the fact that i just wanted to read this to check a box and yet i'm now so invested i want to read the sequels!!

if you missed out on this one i really think it's worth a shot, especially if you're craving some old-school dystopian with smart characters that'll keep you guessing.
]]> Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body 26074156 New York Times bestselling author of Bad Feminist: a searingly honest memoir of food, weight, self-image, and learning how to feed your hunger while taking care of yourself.

“I ate and ate and ate in the hopes that if I made myself big, my body would be safe. I buried the girl I was because she ran into all kinds of trouble. I tried to erase every memory of her, but she is still there, somewhere. . . . I was trapped in my body, one that I barely recognized or understood, but at least I was safe.”

In her phenomenally popular essays and long-running Tumblr blog, Roxane Gay has written with intimacy and sensitivity about food and body, using her own emotional and psychological struggles as a means of exploring our shared anxieties over pleasure, consumption, appearance, and health. As a woman who describes her own body as “wildly undisciplined,” Roxane understands the tension between desire and denial, between self-comfort and self-care. In Hunger, she explores her past—including the devastating act of violence that acted as a turning point in her young life—and brings readers along on her journey to understand and ultimately save herself.

With the bracing candor, vulnerability, and power that have made her one of the most admired writers of her generation, Roxane explores what it means to learn to take care of yourself: how to feed your hungers for delicious and satisfying food, a smaller and safer body, and a body that can love and be loved—in a time when the bigger you are, the smaller your world becomes.]]> 306 Roxane Gay 0062362593 Whitney 5
TW: Rape, anorexia/bulimia, fatphobia

This doesn’t speak exactly to my experiences—and I wouldn’t expect it to because Roxane and I have very different experiences and personalities—but regardless, this is the most validating book I’ve read to date about being fat. It might be the only book I’ve read about being heavy that confirms that I can be happy with myself just for me, not only when a guy loves me or if I lose weight. It’s as much about fixing harmful institutions of society as it is fixing our own harmful internalizations about being fat. I’m about to cry typing this just because it feels so goddamn good to read a book from someone who knows. Who has the same thoughts I’ve only ever written about in diaries and cried myself to sleep about but she voices so perfectly. Not fitting into chairs. Envying people with eating disorders but knowing how wrong it is. Struggling with how you want to look versus how society wants you to look, and whether you deserve, or can even achieve, either. Roxane wrote this for herself, but it's a book I think everyone should read, regardless of if you can relate to it. It's a necessary book and i'm so glad I read it.

This book is a masterpiece. I’m speechless.]]> 4.17 2017 Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body
author: Roxane Gay
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.17
book published: 2017
rating: 5
read at: 2018/02/26
date added: 2023/09/02
shelves: feminism, memoir, favorites, favs-of-2018, made-me-cry, read-in-2018, fat-rep
review:
I want to give this a million stars. I want to buy every one of you reading this a copy. WOW.

TW: Rape, anorexia/bulimia, fatphobia

This doesn’t speak exactly to my experiences—and I wouldn’t expect it to because Roxane and I have very different experiences and personalities—but regardless, this is the most validating book I’ve read to date about being fat. It might be the only book I’ve read about being heavy that confirms that I can be happy with myself just for me, not only when a guy loves me or if I lose weight. It’s as much about fixing harmful institutions of society as it is fixing our own harmful internalizations about being fat. I’m about to cry typing this just because it feels so goddamn good to read a book from someone who knows. Who has the same thoughts I’ve only ever written about in diaries and cried myself to sleep about but she voices so perfectly. Not fitting into chairs. Envying people with eating disorders but knowing how wrong it is. Struggling with how you want to look versus how society wants you to look, and whether you deserve, or can even achieve, either. Roxane wrote this for herself, but it's a book I think everyone should read, regardless of if you can relate to it. It's a necessary book and i'm so glad I read it.

This book is a masterpiece. I’m speechless.
]]> <![CDATA[One Dance with a Duke (Stud Club, #1)]]> 6809488 One Dance with a Duke--the first novel in Tessa Dare's delightful new trilogy--secrets and scandals tempt the irresistible rogues of the Stud Club to gamble everything for love.
A handsome and reclusive horse breeder, Spencer Dumarque, the fourth Duke of Morland, is a member of the exclusive Stud Club, an organization so select it has only ten members--yet membership is attainable to anyone with luck. And Spencer has plenty of it, along with an obsession with a prize horse, a dark secret, and, now, a reputation as the dashing "Duke of Midnight." Each evening he selects one lady for a breathtaking midnight waltz. But none of the women catch his interest, and nobody ever bests the duke--until Lady Amelia d'Orsay tries her luck.
In a moment of desperation, the unconventional beauty claims the duke's dance and unwittingly steals his heart. When Amelia demands that Spencer forgive her scapegrace brother's debts, she never imagines that her game of wits and words will lead to breathless passion and a steamy proposal. Still, Spencer is a man of mystery, perhaps connected to the shocking murder of the Stud Club's founder. Will Amelia lose her heart in this reckless wager or win everlasting love?]]> 384 Tessa Dare Whitney 5 easily one of my favorite books of the year.

i recently rewatched briderton, so this whole book read in my head like a movie. but it was also aided by how gorgeous Tessa Dare's writing style is. there were SO many lines that i marveled at the word choice and how the sentences flowed so well and provided such lush descriptions. the characters' dialogue felt so real, i could definitely imagine this being pulled word for word and being transformed into a show or movie. this is embarrassing to admit but sometimes i was reading the dialogue out loud to my cats and my friends because it was just so damn punchy and realistic. for a book published in 2010, i can't believe it holds up to time so well and was so beautiful.

mainly, the storyline in this is what connected with me so deeply. it's hard to find books that i can relate to that don't feel like the spitting image of ninety thousand other similar books, but this book hit a sweet spot. the main character is weird and chatty but also deeply self-conscious about not being desirable, which hits so close to home that i couldn't help but love her. the love interest is perfectly grumpy without being an unredeemable asshole, and it certainly helped my enjoyment of this book that he is a horse girl through and through. (plus, he has panic attacks and deals with social anxiety!!) put these two characters together with a handful of my favorite tropes? man, i was FEASTING.

this book has everything. everything. smut, emotion, relatable...ness. my only critique is that the ending felt rushed in comparison to the rest of the book, but i knew within 50 pages this was going to be a favorite of the year. i mean, for christ's sake, i have like 100 sticky tabs in this book, and it's a mass market paperback with a hideous cover (that also misrepresents that the main charater is PLUS SIZED!!).

i could go on and on. this book made me cry just because it had a hugging scene. like, come get yall juice. don't keep sleeping on tessa dare. i will now read the rest of this series and pray and hope that it hits the same, because WOW. reading this in three sittings while listening to the pride & prejudice soundtrack may just be the highlight of my summer.]]> 3.83 2010 One Dance with a Duke (Stud Club, #1)
author: Tessa Dare
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.83
book published: 2010
rating: 5
read at: 2022/07/16
date added: 2023/09/02
shelves: favs-of-2022, made-me-cry, smutty, read-in-2022, romance, fat-rep
review:
sometimes picking up a random book in a used bookstore for 25 cents pays off. after buying it from a library bookstore just because i recognized tesss dare's name, i grabbed this book off my tbr shelf at random because it was the most summer-looking romance i owned, and it is now easily one of my favorite books of the year.

i recently rewatched briderton, so this whole book read in my head like a movie. but it was also aided by how gorgeous Tessa Dare's writing style is. there were SO many lines that i marveled at the word choice and how the sentences flowed so well and provided such lush descriptions. the characters' dialogue felt so real, i could definitely imagine this being pulled word for word and being transformed into a show or movie. this is embarrassing to admit but sometimes i was reading the dialogue out loud to my cats and my friends because it was just so damn punchy and realistic. for a book published in 2010, i can't believe it holds up to time so well and was so beautiful.

mainly, the storyline in this is what connected with me so deeply. it's hard to find books that i can relate to that don't feel like the spitting image of ninety thousand other similar books, but this book hit a sweet spot. the main character is weird and chatty but also deeply self-conscious about not being desirable, which hits so close to home that i couldn't help but love her. the love interest is perfectly grumpy without being an unredeemable asshole, and it certainly helped my enjoyment of this book that he is a horse girl through and through. (plus, he has panic attacks and deals with social anxiety!!) put these two characters together with a handful of my favorite tropes? man, i was FEASTING.

this book has everything. everything. smut, emotion, relatable...ness. my only critique is that the ending felt rushed in comparison to the rest of the book, but i knew within 50 pages this was going to be a favorite of the year. i mean, for christ's sake, i have like 100 sticky tabs in this book, and it's a mass market paperback with a hideous cover (that also misrepresents that the main charater is PLUS SIZED!!).

i could go on and on. this book made me cry just because it had a hugging scene. like, come get yall juice. don't keep sleeping on tessa dare. i will now read the rest of this series and pray and hope that it hits the same, because WOW. reading this in three sittings while listening to the pride & prejudice soundtrack may just be the highlight of my summer.
]]> Xeni (Loose Ends, #2) 53133786
Xeni Everly-Wilkins has ten days to clean out her recently departed aunt’s massive colonial in Upstate New York. With the feud between her mom and her sisters still raging even in death, she knows this will be no easy task, but when the will is read Xeni quickly discovers the decades old drama between the former R&B singers is just the tip of the iceberg.

The Secrets, lies, and a crap ton of cash spilled on her lawyer’s conference room table all come with terms and conditions. Xeni must marry before she can claim the estate that will set her up for life and her aunt has just the groom in mind. The ruggedly handsome and deliciously thicc Scotsman who showed up at her aunt’s memorial, bagpipes at the ready.

When his dear friend and mentor Sable Everly passed away, Mason McInroy knew she would leave a sizable hole in his heart. He never imagined she’d leave him more than enough money to settle the debt that’s keeping him from returning home to Scotland. He also never imagined that Sable would use her dying breaths to play match-maker, trapping Mason and her beautiful niece in a marriage scheme that comes with more complications than either of them need.

With no choice but to say I do, the unlikely pair try to make the best of a messy situation. They had no plans to actually fall in love.

** This is a stand alone romance that can be read along with RAFE: A Buff Male Nanny. It features a woman sick to death of her family's sh*t and a plus-size Scotsman who just wants to make sweet, sweet music. And love. **]]> 263 Rebekah Weatherspoon Whitney 5
book one in this series was really good but this book took it to a whole nother level and this book was REAAALLY GOOD!!!

from the set up (that made me cry) to the wedding to the characters to the dialogue to the small town/orchard setting, i loved every single bit of this book. every single bit of it. every crumb, every morsel. this book had the perfect pacing, perfect characters, perfect believable drama and growth. i seriously have zero complaints other than i wish i've read more of rebekah's other books because there were so many side characters mentioned from books of hers i haven't gotten to yet. but that just means i have more amazing books in store!

[spoilers removed]]]> 3.86 2019 Xeni (Loose Ends, #2)
author: Rebekah Weatherspoon
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.86
book published: 2019
rating: 5
read at: 2023/07/01
date added: 2023/09/02
shelves: favs-of-2023, made-me-cry, lgbtqiap, read-in-2023, smutty, fat-rep
review:
sorry but where is the pulitzer prize for this book?????

book one in this series was really good but this book took it to a whole nother level and this book was REAAALLY GOOD!!!

from the set up (that made me cry) to the wedding to the characters to the dialogue to the small town/orchard setting, i loved every single bit of this book. every single bit of it. every crumb, every morsel. this book had the perfect pacing, perfect characters, perfect believable drama and growth. i seriously have zero complaints other than i wish i've read more of rebekah's other books because there were so many side characters mentioned from books of hers i haven't gotten to yet. but that just means i have more amazing books in store!

[spoilers removed]
]]> The Blue House 48945761 In the tradition of Virginia Lee Burton's The Little House comes a heartfelt story about a father and son learning to accept the new while honoring and celebrating the old.

For as long as he can remember, Leo has lived in the blue house with his dad, but lately the neighborhood is changing. People are leaving, houses are being knocked down and shiny new buildings are going up in their place. When Leo and his dad are forced to leave, they aren't happy about it. They howl and rage and dance out their feelings. When the time comes, they leave the blue house behind--there was never any choice, not really--but little by little, they find a way to keep its memory alive in their new home.]]> 40 Phoebe Wahl 1984893394 Whitney 5
long story short i'll be telling my therapist about this]]> 4.32 2020 The Blue House
author: Phoebe Wahl
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.32
book published: 2020
rating: 5
read at: 2023/08/19
date added: 2023/08/20
shelves: childrens, favs-of-2023, from-library, made-me-cry, read-in-2023
review:
this book changed the composition of my DNA. i went into this completely blindly and ended up sobbing my way through it even though it's so short. as someone who had to move out of my childhood home and holds fond memories and yearns to go back, this book struck home. the art style was so gorgeous and familiar, and i savored every single page of this even when it made my heart ache. SUCH a good story to share with kids who experience moving, and definitely a bit cathartic for me as an adult as well. i'm so tempted to get my own copy of this after reading it from the library so i can have a piece of it with me to remind me that home isn't just a geographic coordinate, it's who i'm there with and how i curate my space.

long story short i'll be telling my therapist about this
]]> <![CDATA[Six of Crows (Six of Crows, #1)]]> 23437156 Alternate cover of ISBN 9781627792127

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone...

A convict with a thirst for revenge

A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager

A runaway with a privileged past

A spy known as the Wraith

A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums

A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes

Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.]]> 480 Leigh Bardugo 1627792120 Whitney 5
i'm addicted ????? yikes ???????]]> 4.47 2015 Six of Crows (Six of Crows, #1)
author: Leigh Bardugo
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.47
book published: 2015
rating: 5
read at: 2017/01/07
date added: 2023/07/02
shelves: read-in-2017, favs-of-2017, need-to-reread, made-me-cry, favorites, fat-rep
review:
finished this at 3:30 AM this morning crying at the line "i will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all."

i'm addicted ????? yikes ???????
]]> <![CDATA[Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows, #2)]]> 22299763
Kaz Brekker and his crew of deadly outcasts have just pulled off a heist so daring even they didn't think they'd survive. But instead of divvying up a fat reward, they're right back to fighting for their lives.

Double-crossed and badly weakened, the crew is low on resources, allies, and hope. As powerful forces from around the world descend on Ketterdam to root out the secrets of the dangerous drug known as jurda parem, old rivals and new enemies emerge to challenge Kaz's cunning and test the team's fragile loyalties.

A war will be waged on the city's dark and twisting streets - a battle for revenge and redemption that will decide the fate of the Grisha world.]]> 561 Leigh Bardugo Whitney 5 4.58 2016 Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows, #2)
author: Leigh Bardugo
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.58
book published: 2016
rating: 5
read at: 2017/04/09
date added: 2023/07/02
shelves: favorites, read-in-2017, favs-of-2017, made-me-cry, fat-rep
review:
Something almost makes me want to lean toward giving this 4.5 stars because parts of it did begin to drag, but the ending made me cry for half an hour so here i am like the trashman i am, giving a generous but bitter 5 stars
]]> Lovely War 44107480
Aubrey Edwards is also headed toward the trenches. A gifted musician who's played Carnegie Hall, he's a member of the 15th New York Infantry, an all-African-American regiment being sent to Europe to help end the Great War. Love is the last thing on his mind. But that's before he meets Colette Fournier, a Belgian chanteuse who's already survived unspeakable tragedy at the hands of the Germans.

Thirty years after these four lovers' fates collide, the Greek goddess Aphrodite tells their stories to her husband, Hephaestus, and her lover, Ares, in a luxe Manhattan hotel room at the height of World War II. She seeks to answer the age-old question: Why are Love and War eternally drawn to one another? But her quest for a conclusion that will satisfy her jealous husband uncovers a multi-threaded tale of prejudice, trauma, and music and reveals that War is no match for the power of Love.

A sweeping, multi-layered romance with a divine twist, by the Printz Honor-winning author of The Passion of Dolssa, set in the perilous days of World Wars I and II.]]> 471 Julie Berry Whitney 4
this book was.... well, lovely! i enjoyed that even though it's a war story, you are given the foreshadowing that it contains aphrodite's favorite couples, so it's nice to get to assume that there will be happy endings despite the graphicness of war. the gods narrating the book was a cool narration style, even though it took some googling on my end to understand why certain gods stepped in.

i haven't read a book in a while where the characters are so instantly likable. the cast of humans in this were so charming and realistic and funny, you couldn't not love them. i think this book's greatest success is that i was SO invested in what would happen, basically reading this book in three sittings as i was hoping and wishing things would turn out okay because i was rooting for them so hard. and i was not disappointed!

one thing that was shocking that not a lot of reviewers i saw on here discuss is the ramifications of centering one perspective of this book around a Black character. there's a whole history to unpack with how Black men in america were treated differently during the war due to prejudice and racism, but this book included every slur in the book, and quite frequently. although i think it painted a well-researched picture of what it must have been like for those men at the time, i was very very aware while reading this that a white author was writing explicit hate speech and violence as an integral and inescapable part of the plot, and then trying to describe what it must have felt like from the perspective of being Black. it felt like an overstep at times, and i would definitely place a substantial trigger warning on this for any people of color, specifically Black readers, interested in picking it up. however, any racism the white characters overheard was challenged on-page, so i think it attempted to handle the subject respectfully.

regardless of that issue i had with it and that it was slow to start, i finished this book at 4 AM weeping with my cats because i was so touched. i can definitely see why this is some people's favorite, and if you love the angst of a good wartime love story or two, i would recommend this for sure despite its faults. ]]> 4.22 2019 Lovely War
author: Julie Berry
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.22
book published: 2019
rating: 4
read at: 2023/02/01
date added: 2023/02/01
shelves: read-in-2023, made-me-cry, favs-of-2023
review:
4.5 stars

this book was.... well, lovely! i enjoyed that even though it's a war story, you are given the foreshadowing that it contains aphrodite's favorite couples, so it's nice to get to assume that there will be happy endings despite the graphicness of war. the gods narrating the book was a cool narration style, even though it took some googling on my end to understand why certain gods stepped in.

i haven't read a book in a while where the characters are so instantly likable. the cast of humans in this were so charming and realistic and funny, you couldn't not love them. i think this book's greatest success is that i was SO invested in what would happen, basically reading this book in three sittings as i was hoping and wishing things would turn out okay because i was rooting for them so hard. and i was not disappointed!

one thing that was shocking that not a lot of reviewers i saw on here discuss is the ramifications of centering one perspective of this book around a Black character. there's a whole history to unpack with how Black men in america were treated differently during the war due to prejudice and racism, but this book included every slur in the book, and quite frequently. although i think it painted a well-researched picture of what it must have been like for those men at the time, i was very very aware while reading this that a white author was writing explicit hate speech and violence as an integral and inescapable part of the plot, and then trying to describe what it must have felt like from the perspective of being Black. it felt like an overstep at times, and i would definitely place a substantial trigger warning on this for any people of color, specifically Black readers, interested in picking it up. however, any racism the white characters overheard was challenged on-page, so i think it attempted to handle the subject respectfully.

regardless of that issue i had with it and that it was slow to start, i finished this book at 4 AM weeping with my cats because i was so touched. i can definitely see why this is some people's favorite, and if you love the angst of a good wartime love story or two, i would recommend this for sure despite its faults.
]]> <![CDATA[A ​Court of Silver Flames (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #4)]]> 53138095 Global phenomenon Sarah J. Maas’s sexy, richly imagined #1 bestselling Court of Thorns and Roses series continues with the journey of Feyre’s fiery sister, Nesta.

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she’s struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Worse, she can’t seem to move past the horrors of the war with Hybern and all she lost in it.

The one person who ignites her temper more than any other is Cassian, the battle-scarred warrior whose position in Rhysand and Feyre’s Night Court keeps him constantly in Nesta’s orbit. But her temper isn’t the only thing Cassian ignites. The fire between them is undeniable, and only burns hotter as they are forced into close quarters with each other.

Meanwhile, the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance, threatening the fragile peace that has settled over the realms. And the key to halting them might very well rely on Cassian and Nesta facing their haunting pasts.

Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance—and healing—in each other’s arms.]]> 757 Sarah J. Maas 168119628X Whitney 4
although this book was 750 pages, it didn't seem like it. most of the book was the same cycle of scenes, but it didn't feel repetitive. i enjoyed the new characters (and gwyn and nesta had so much chemistry i'm furious they never even kissed) and appreciated appearances of the original cast.

one thing that brought this book down for me is the shift from this series being in first person to third person. i just prefer first person so maybe it's subjective, but the tone changed so much with a third person narration style, almost like sarah was letting the reader into the story instead of nesta herself, which i don't like. it's the difference between a book saying "i was worthless," which is the character admitting something about themselves directly to the reader, and a book saying "she was worthless," which could either be the character thinking, or the author TELLING you that. i much prefer the unambiguousness of the first.

the next thing i didn't love about this book was that the ending felt rushed and melodramatic. i know there's gonna be another sequel after this, but it feels like nesta's problems solved themself fast and then that was that, but i wanted to continue seeing nesta's fire and have a better idea of where all the characters are at and not just the main sisters.

but this book did tick a lot of boxes for me. miserably raunchy sex? yes. (even though i have LOTs to say about it). actually no, fuck it: full paragraph about the sex. first of all, thoughts and prayers to mor for losing her virginity to cassian's horse schlong. second of all, i can't believe their first sex scene is [spoilers removed]! also the fact that sarah j maas can say cock but would rather write something ridiculous like "the hidden pearl of bundled nerves nestled gently between the apex of her thighs" instead of clit was exhausting. sometimes i was overly aware of bad editing while reading these scenes because the language used could be so repetitive that it took me out of the scene. i just wish there was more variety, beause you could tell by the end of the book that sarah was like "aight then they had sex again." because she'd already written the same type of scene over and over. ok that's all about the sex.

more things i liked: this book really said Smart House (1999) rights because i LOVED nesta and the house. i would die for gwyn. loved seeing azriel from cassian's point of view (although it was jarring to hear him say "suck your cock"). uhhh idk what else. it was gripping. nesta being a bitch made me happy. wish there was more lucien. since there was no real setup for the next book since this one ended so fast, i'll bet there's gonna be another novella before the next sequel.

idk i have so many random thoughts about this that i'm not sure my review made sense. i loved nesta but couldn't not see cassian as a greasy himbo. sarah j maas's raging heteronormativity strikes again at the end with [spoilers removed] but the more i think about this, the more loose ends i'm realizing exist. hmmm.]]> 4.44 2021 A ​Court of Silver Flames (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #4)
author: Sarah J. Maas
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.44
book published: 2021
rating: 4
read at: 2022/03/28
date added: 2022/12/22
shelves: made-me-cry, read-in-2022, smutty, wheres-your-editor, favs-of-2022
review:
may i just say. i LOVE a book about a meanie. nesta's anger and resentment for the world was so relatable. i find nesta far more interesting than i find cassian, so her story really resonated. sometimes i felt this book took cheap stabs at talking about mental health and healing, like using the word "trauma" a lot and having meditation be a big focus for nesta. i wish those bits had been folded in more naturally, but i did really like the discussion around self-worth and vulnerability.

although this book was 750 pages, it didn't seem like it. most of the book was the same cycle of scenes, but it didn't feel repetitive. i enjoyed the new characters (and gwyn and nesta had so much chemistry i'm furious they never even kissed) and appreciated appearances of the original cast.

one thing that brought this book down for me is the shift from this series being in first person to third person. i just prefer first person so maybe it's subjective, but the tone changed so much with a third person narration style, almost like sarah was letting the reader into the story instead of nesta herself, which i don't like. it's the difference between a book saying "i was worthless," which is the character admitting something about themselves directly to the reader, and a book saying "she was worthless," which could either be the character thinking, or the author TELLING you that. i much prefer the unambiguousness of the first.

the next thing i didn't love about this book was that the ending felt rushed and melodramatic. i know there's gonna be another sequel after this, but it feels like nesta's problems solved themself fast and then that was that, but i wanted to continue seeing nesta's fire and have a better idea of where all the characters are at and not just the main sisters.

but this book did tick a lot of boxes for me. miserably raunchy sex? yes. (even though i have LOTs to say about it). actually no, fuck it: full paragraph about the sex. first of all, thoughts and prayers to mor for losing her virginity to cassian's horse schlong. second of all, i can't believe their first sex scene is [spoilers removed]! also the fact that sarah j maas can say cock but would rather write something ridiculous like "the hidden pearl of bundled nerves nestled gently between the apex of her thighs" instead of clit was exhausting. sometimes i was overly aware of bad editing while reading these scenes because the language used could be so repetitive that it took me out of the scene. i just wish there was more variety, beause you could tell by the end of the book that sarah was like "aight then they had sex again." because she'd already written the same type of scene over and over. ok that's all about the sex.

more things i liked: this book really said Smart House (1999) rights because i LOVED nesta and the house. i would die for gwyn. loved seeing azriel from cassian's point of view (although it was jarring to hear him say "suck your cock"). uhhh idk what else. it was gripping. nesta being a bitch made me happy. wish there was more lucien. since there was no real setup for the next book since this one ended so fast, i'll bet there's gonna be another novella before the next sequel.

idk i have so many random thoughts about this that i'm not sure my review made sense. i loved nesta but couldn't not see cassian as a greasy himbo. sarah j maas's raging heteronormativity strikes again at the end with [spoilers removed] but the more i think about this, the more loose ends i'm realizing exist. hmmm.
]]> Furyborn (Empirium, #1) 34323570 The stunningly original, must-read fantasy of 2018 follows two fiercely independent young women, centuries apart, who hold the power to save their world...or doom it.

When assassins ambush her best friend, Rielle Dardenne risks everything to save him, exposing herself as one of a pair of prophesied queens: a queen of light, and a queen of blood. To prove she is the Sun Queen, Rielle must endure seven elemental magic trials. If she fails, she will be executed...unless the trials kill her first.

One thousand years later, the legend of Queen Rielle is a fairy tale to Eliana Ferracora. A bounty hunter for the Undying Empire, Eliana believes herself untouchable--until her mother vanishes. To find her, Eliana joins a rebel captain and discovers that the evil at the empire's heart is more terrible than she ever imagined.

As Rielle and Eliana fight in a cosmic war that spans millennia, their stories intersect, and the shocking connections between them ultimately determine the fate of their world--and of each other.]]> 497 Claire Legrand 1492656623 Whitney 5 Reread rating: ★★★★★

June 2022

I remain convinced that this is one of the best and most underrated YA series of all time. What this first book lacks in speed and depth, the rest of the series make up for it twofold. I was weeping while rereading this just from the sheer fact of knowing how it ends, so all the foreshadowing and flashbacks were that much more impactful. I can see why I rated it 3 stars the first time around because it keeps you in the dark on some things that end up being very significant, but over the course of the series I grew to love these characters so much and now any subsequent rereads are going to be 5 stars, no matter what. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this series.


March 2020

Thanks Sourcebooks for the review copy!

3.5 stars

During the first half of this book, I was convinced I would give it 4.5 stars. I was really liking it, and my vlog footage matched that same excitement. but the last 100 pages of this book lost so much steam, it's like the author got tired of writing it and just flung her characters into situations without thinking whether it's realistic or explained enough.

The main character Eliana reminds me so much of Lou from Serpent & Dove. She lives just to survive, so she'll switch to any alliance or do whatever's necessary to protect her friends and family. This made her interesting.... but also seemed a little like a Celaena wannabe at times. Still, I liked her banter with the Wolf and I thought she was smart--again, excluding the final 100 pages.

The biggest disappointment here for me was how the plot points didn't really fall into place. This book was trying to be an assassin book, an elemental magic book, [spoilers removed] and an angel book all at once, and it just got confusing and underexplained. The plot point about angels should have been cut, in my opinion.

Also I'm a little upset about the rushed romance--or not even romance, but just how the Wolf went from being a great stoic character to randomly a smitten jokester. His development was so lazy and I didn't understand the shift from "you're terrible i hate you" to "i would bow on my knees to you, my life is dedicated toward you."

So many small pieces of this didn't fall into place for me, so I'm gonna try out book two and see if it solidifies anything. But I did like that this book was a dual POV and had a really steamy scene for it being a YA book.]]> 3.77 2018 Furyborn (Empirium, #1)
author: Claire Legrand
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.77
book published: 2018
rating: 5
read at: 2022/06/10
date added: 2022/07/10
shelves: smutty, sent-from-pub, read-in-2020, favorites, lgbtqiap, made-me-cry, read-in-2022
review:
Original rating: ★★★☆☆
Reread rating: ★★★★★

June 2022

I remain convinced that this is one of the best and most underrated YA series of all time. What this first book lacks in speed and depth, the rest of the series make up for it twofold. I was weeping while rereading this just from the sheer fact of knowing how it ends, so all the foreshadowing and flashbacks were that much more impactful. I can see why I rated it 3 stars the first time around because it keeps you in the dark on some things that end up being very significant, but over the course of the series I grew to love these characters so much and now any subsequent rereads are going to be 5 stars, no matter what. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this series.


March 2020

Thanks Sourcebooks for the review copy!

3.5 stars

During the first half of this book, I was convinced I would give it 4.5 stars. I was really liking it, and my vlog footage matched that same excitement. but the last 100 pages of this book lost so much steam, it's like the author got tired of writing it and just flung her characters into situations without thinking whether it's realistic or explained enough.

The main character Eliana reminds me so much of Lou from Serpent & Dove. She lives just to survive, so she'll switch to any alliance or do whatever's necessary to protect her friends and family. This made her interesting.... but also seemed a little like a Celaena wannabe at times. Still, I liked her banter with the Wolf and I thought she was smart--again, excluding the final 100 pages.

The biggest disappointment here for me was how the plot points didn't really fall into place. This book was trying to be an assassin book, an elemental magic book, [spoilers removed] and an angel book all at once, and it just got confusing and underexplained. The plot point about angels should have been cut, in my opinion.

Also I'm a little upset about the rushed romance--or not even romance, but just how the Wolf went from being a great stoic character to randomly a smitten jokester. His development was so lazy and I didn't understand the shift from "you're terrible i hate you" to "i would bow on my knees to you, my life is dedicated toward you."

So many small pieces of this didn't fall into place for me, so I'm gonna try out book two and see if it solidifies anything. But I did like that this book was a dual POV and had a really steamy scene for it being a YA book.
]]> <![CDATA[A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #3)]]> 31938963 New York Times bestselling A Court of Thorns and Roses series.

Feyre has returned to the Spring Court, determined to gather information on Tamlin's maneuverings and the invading king threatening to bring Prythian to its knees. But to do so she must play a deadly game of deceit-and one slip may spell doom not only for Feyre, but for her world as well.

As war bears down upon them all, Feyre must decide who to trust amongst the dazzling and lethal High Lords-and hunt for allies in unexpected places.

In this thrilling third book in the #1 New York Times bestselling series from Sarah J. Maas, the earth will be painted red as mighty armies grapple for power over the one thing that could destroy them all.]]> 707 Sarah J. Maas Whitney 5 Original rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
New rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I can definitely vouch that reading these books all back to back made this book a lot more enjoyable, and gave it a better flow. Problems I had with it in 2017 were sidelined to how quickly I devoured it, and characters I hated (ahhem Nesta) grew to be new favorites.

I still have issues with a few scenes (at the top of the list, sex at a war camp with the screams of the dying in the background) and don't love that the ending brought in so many new characters whose backstories I don't quite grasp, but I'm sure it will be expanded upon in future volumes. I'm sort of miserable because I hate how good these books are despite how shitty the author is. But I was laughing and crying throughout this series and I think it's taking me out of a months-long reading slump.

---

Original review:

Hmm.

If I could give the last 100 pages its own separate rating, it would be 5 stars. But this book as a whole was a bit of a mess.

I went into this after not having reread the first two. And also to preface this, ACOMAF is my second favorite book of all time. It rivals Shatter Me. It was that good. I knew this wouldn't compare, but I was surprised how much it didn't.

Rhys turned into such a fuckboy in this book. I ADORED him in acomaf because the vulnerability and emotion was mixed perfectly with the arrogance and sarcasm, but in this book he was just horny and sarcastic 100% of the time and it got really old really fast.

In this book they refer to each other as "my mate" in literally every other sentence, which made me gag every time. It was SO cheesy. I always heard people criticize Sarah's editors but I didn't understand until this book. SO many repeated, trite phrases. So many unnecessary or weird words. So many cringey moments. I couldn't.

If there's something to applaud, it's the fact that characters who I swore I didn't care about did a 180. (Am I allowed to say "even Tamlin," or would I get mauled?) Nesta grew on me. Lucien grew on me. Azriel grew on me.

I think it's noteworthy to include how Sarah continually messes up with representation. If she was trying to do better it would be a different story, but she hasn't shown her face on Twitter for almost six months. I get she's trying to add more diversity into her books by putting in a lesbian and bisexual characters, but it was so so badly handled. Every bisexual character that was introduced was done so under the guise that "look at this dude!! he's bisexual!! we know this because he LOVES THREESOMES!!" which is such a derogatory and offensive stereotype. Additionally, the I can't get over how Sarah kept a lesbian closeted for three books when we could have had that representation for two whole other books. And putting in this subplot that she's afraid of coming out was so unnecessary.

This book went from extreme highs to extreme lows. When I wasn't rolling my eyes at the plethora of romance scenes, I was bored. Okay, about the romance-- D U D E. -____-
They got it on ALL THE TIME. To the point where I was like OK STOP. At a war camp!!! where people were dying!!!! after really, really mentally scarring scenes!!!!! all the time!!!!!!! it was so unrealistic and uncomfortable and i hated how feyre hinted that there was this expectation of sex because that one night at the meeting with all the high lords she was like "i don't want to have sex tonight with tamlin here."

Also, Rhys's whole deal about giving women independence and autonomy just because so forced in this book. Literally any time Feyre would open her mouth he was like "you can do what you want you're independent, you don't need a man, you are flawless, i don't control you, i love feminism" and it just totally clashed with the fact that when it actually came to important scenes like a literal war, she was always just sitting on the sidelines. Idk. Just really unimpressed with that entire dialogue in here, and it's TOTALLY a sarah j maas move to have a character say something in dialogue but then have their actions conflict with that (such as celaena declaring that she is such a badass warrior yet never actually kills anyone).

This book also has the worst ending? I mean, not 666 because that broke me and everything after it was so good, but there are SO many loose ties. I know there's 3 more books, but it's just so weird that literally nothing in this story ARC is resolved, character-wise? It's like they got rid of the cauldron but didn't address anything about the people. Does Mor come out? What happens to Azriel? Does Lucien find out Helion is his father? Are Elain and Lucien together? Are Rhys and Tamlin cool? What are the new court lines they described? What's it like collaborating with the humans? Who's the new king of Hybern? What about anything dealing with Hybern? Do tensions in Autumn Court smooth over? Summer Court? What's Amren's new life as a high fae like? I just have so many tiny things that didn't get resolved that it felt sloppy.

Idk. I'm just gonna carry on with my merry life and pretend that ACOMAF was a standalone.]]> 4.57 2017 A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #3)
author: Sarah J. Maas
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.57
book published: 2017
rating: 5
read at: 2022/03/19
date added: 2022/03/19
shelves: read-in-2017, made-me-cry, smutty, read-in-2022
review:
Reread March 2022
Original rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
New rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I can definitely vouch that reading these books all back to back made this book a lot more enjoyable, and gave it a better flow. Problems I had with it in 2017 were sidelined to how quickly I devoured it, and characters I hated (ahhem Nesta) grew to be new favorites.

I still have issues with a few scenes (at the top of the list, sex at a war camp with the screams of the dying in the background) and don't love that the ending brought in so many new characters whose backstories I don't quite grasp, but I'm sure it will be expanded upon in future volumes. I'm sort of miserable because I hate how good these books are despite how shitty the author is. But I was laughing and crying throughout this series and I think it's taking me out of a months-long reading slump.

---

Original review:

Hmm.

If I could give the last 100 pages its own separate rating, it would be 5 stars. But this book as a whole was a bit of a mess.

I went into this after not having reread the first two. And also to preface this, ACOMAF is my second favorite book of all time. It rivals Shatter Me. It was that good. I knew this wouldn't compare, but I was surprised how much it didn't.

Rhys turned into such a fuckboy in this book. I ADORED him in acomaf because the vulnerability and emotion was mixed perfectly with the arrogance and sarcasm, but in this book he was just horny and sarcastic 100% of the time and it got really old really fast.

In this book they refer to each other as "my mate" in literally every other sentence, which made me gag every time. It was SO cheesy. I always heard people criticize Sarah's editors but I didn't understand until this book. SO many repeated, trite phrases. So many unnecessary or weird words. So many cringey moments. I couldn't.

If there's something to applaud, it's the fact that characters who I swore I didn't care about did a 180. (Am I allowed to say "even Tamlin," or would I get mauled?) Nesta grew on me. Lucien grew on me. Azriel grew on me.

I think it's noteworthy to include how Sarah continually messes up with representation. If she was trying to do better it would be a different story, but she hasn't shown her face on Twitter for almost six months. I get she's trying to add more diversity into her books by putting in a lesbian and bisexual characters, but it was so so badly handled. Every bisexual character that was introduced was done so under the guise that "look at this dude!! he's bisexual!! we know this because he LOVES THREESOMES!!" which is such a derogatory and offensive stereotype. Additionally, the I can't get over how Sarah kept a lesbian closeted for three books when we could have had that representation for two whole other books. And putting in this subplot that she's afraid of coming out was so unnecessary.

This book went from extreme highs to extreme lows. When I wasn't rolling my eyes at the plethora of romance scenes, I was bored. Okay, about the romance-- D U D E. -____-
They got it on ALL THE TIME. To the point where I was like OK STOP. At a war camp!!! where people were dying!!!! after really, really mentally scarring scenes!!!!! all the time!!!!!!! it was so unrealistic and uncomfortable and i hated how feyre hinted that there was this expectation of sex because that one night at the meeting with all the high lords she was like "i don't want to have sex tonight with tamlin here."

Also, Rhys's whole deal about giving women independence and autonomy just because so forced in this book. Literally any time Feyre would open her mouth he was like "you can do what you want you're independent, you don't need a man, you are flawless, i don't control you, i love feminism" and it just totally clashed with the fact that when it actually came to important scenes like a literal war, she was always just sitting on the sidelines. Idk. Just really unimpressed with that entire dialogue in here, and it's TOTALLY a sarah j maas move to have a character say something in dialogue but then have their actions conflict with that (such as celaena declaring that she is such a badass warrior yet never actually kills anyone).

This book also has the worst ending? I mean, not 666 because that broke me and everything after it was so good, but there are SO many loose ties. I know there's 3 more books, but it's just so weird that literally nothing in this story ARC is resolved, character-wise? It's like they got rid of the cauldron but didn't address anything about the people. Does Mor come out? What happens to Azriel? Does Lucien find out Helion is his father? Are Elain and Lucien together? Are Rhys and Tamlin cool? What are the new court lines they described? What's it like collaborating with the humans? Who's the new king of Hybern? What about anything dealing with Hybern? Do tensions in Autumn Court smooth over? Summer Court? What's Amren's new life as a high fae like? I just have so many tiny things that didn't get resolved that it felt sloppy.

Idk. I'm just gonna carry on with my merry life and pretend that ACOMAF was a standalone.
]]> <![CDATA[Gods & Monsters (Serpent & Dove, #3)]]> 52535769 The spellbinding conclusion to the New York Times and IndieBound bestselling trilogy Serpent & Dove. This stunning fantasy take on French witches and forbidden love is perfect for fans of Sarah J. Maas.

Evil always seeks a foothold. We must not give it one.

After a heartbreaking loss, Lou, Reid, Beau, and Coco are bent on vengeance more than ever before—and none more so than Lou.

But this is no longer the Lou they thought they knew. No longer the Lou that captured a chasseur’s heart. A darkness has settled over her, and this time it will take more than love to drive it out.]]> 624 Shelby Mahurin 0063038951 Whitney 3 made-me-cry, read-in-2022
even though i read all the books pretty much back to back, it still felt like there were magical elements and characters introduced in this book that came out of left field to solve the conflict. and there were multiple side plots in this book that we spent most of the time trying to solve rather than the main storyline. the second of those side plots i thought was really not handled well and hence it brought my rating down, even though it was plausible and a good twist. [spoilers removed]

this ended up being fine. i liked it. now i'm waiting on my spinoff about coco and beau. ]]> 3.93 2021 Gods & Monsters (Serpent & Dove, #3)
author: Shelby Mahurin
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.93
book published: 2021
rating: 3
read at: 2022/01/13
date added: 2022/01/15
shelves: made-me-cry, read-in-2022
review:
5 stars to the section around page 209, but as a whole, i thought this was a solid conclusion that just had some tropes i didn't like. as always, these characters were fun and jumped off the page. despite the dialogue and action that sometimes felt like it was too modern for the book's time frame (like playing truth or dare? cringe), i love lou and the atmosphere of this trilogy.

even though i read all the books pretty much back to back, it still felt like there were magical elements and characters introduced in this book that came out of left field to solve the conflict. and there were multiple side plots in this book that we spent most of the time trying to solve rather than the main storyline. the second of those side plots i thought was really not handled well and hence it brought my rating down, even though it was plausible and a good twist. [spoilers removed]

this ended up being fine. i liked it. now i'm waiting on my spinoff about coco and beau.
]]> Know My Name 50196744
Now she reclaims her identity to tell her story of trauma, transcendence, and the power of words. It was the perfect case, in many ways–there were eyewitnesses, Turner ran away, physical evidence was immediately secured. But her struggles with isolation and shame during the aftermath and the trial reveal the oppression victims face in even the best-case scenarios. Her story illuminates a culture biased to protect perpetrators, indicts a criminal justice system designed to fail the most vulnerable, and, ultimately, shines with the courage required to move through suffering and live a full and beautiful life.

Know My Name will forever transform the way we think about sexual assault, challenging our beliefs about what is acceptable and speaking truth to the tumultuous reality of healing. It also introduces readers to an extraordinary writer, one whose words have already changed our world. Entwining pain, resilience, and humor, this memoir will stand as a modern classic.]]> 384 Chanel Miller 0735223718 Whitney 5
i was taking a women and gender studies course in college when the brock turner rape trial was occurring, and i remember all the women in the room commiserating over his sentence and the unfairness of it all. revisiting it all to hear chanel's story increased that pain tenfold, but the journey she takes the reader on through grief and recovery was stunning. i listened to the first half of this on audio, listening to hear recount her experiences, but switched to reading it physically since i found i preferred to soak in every word and reflect on the absolute power this book contains.

i really don't have the words to talk about how immaculate and soul-wrenching this book is-- i'm already having a hard time thinking of adjectives. you would really be doing yourself a disservice by not picking this up. it's a new top favorite of mine and i can't wait to see what chanel accomplishes next.]]> 4.69 2019 Know My Name
author: Chanel Miller
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.69
book published: 2019
rating: 5
read at: 2021/10/06
date added: 2021/10/06
shelves: memoir, favs-of-2021, feminism, made-me-cry, read-in-2021
review:
this is one of the most beautiful books i've ever read. i hate that it had to be about this.

i was taking a women and gender studies course in college when the brock turner rape trial was occurring, and i remember all the women in the room commiserating over his sentence and the unfairness of it all. revisiting it all to hear chanel's story increased that pain tenfold, but the journey she takes the reader on through grief and recovery was stunning. i listened to the first half of this on audio, listening to hear recount her experiences, but switched to reading it physically since i found i preferred to soak in every word and reflect on the absolute power this book contains.

i really don't have the words to talk about how immaculate and soul-wrenching this book is-- i'm already having a hard time thinking of adjectives. you would really be doing yourself a disservice by not picking this up. it's a new top favorite of mine and i can't wait to see what chanel accomplishes next.
]]> Daisy Jones & The Six 40597810 Everyone knows DAISY JONES & THE SIX, but nobody knows the reason behind their split at the absolute height of their popularity . . . until now.

Daisy is a girl coming of age in L.A. in the late sixties, sneaking into clubs on the Sunset Strip, sleeping with rock stars, and dreaming of singing at the Whisky a Go Go. The sex and drugs are thrilling, but it’s the rock ’n’ roll she loves most. By the time she’s twenty, her voice is getting noticed, and she has the kind of heedless beauty that makes people do crazy things.

Also getting noticed is The Six, a band led by the brooding Billy Dunne. On the eve of their first tour, his girlfriend Camila finds out she’s pregnant, and with the pressure of impending fatherhood and fame, Billy goes a little wild on the road.

Daisy and Billy cross paths when a producer realizes that the key to supercharged success is to put the two together. What happens next will become the stuff of legend.

The making of that legend is chronicled in this riveting and unforgettable novel, written as an oral history of one of the biggest bands of the seventies. Taylor Jenkins Reid is a talented writer who takes her work to a new level with Daisy Jones & The Six, brilliantly capturing a place and time in an utterly distinctive voice.]]> 368 Taylor Jenkins Reid 1524798622 Whitney 4
i've been off my audiobook game for years. in college i listened to a bunch so i could read more books per month, but i found myself not able to retain anything from them or remember why i liked them days or weeks later, let alone years. so the suggestion to listen to this on audio is one i accepted skeptically, knowing it would likely dampen my enjoyment of the book since i would only be appreciating it in the short-term.

however, i'm now fully on the team that this audiobook is an unmatched experience. it listens like you're watching a documentary or listening to a podcast with compiled, chronological interviews. what i lacked in interest for the subject matter of a rock band in the 70's, the book made up for it in rich character exploration and an addicting storytelling format. strangely, i think this book could have improved if it were longer and showed more than just one album being developed by the band before things fell apart, but taylor jenkins reid is a master at writing characters that you don't quite love and don't quite hate but they stick with you all the same.

i finished this book weeping because i was touched and wounded at the plot reveal at the end, and once i closed the book, i've been stuck on trying to remind myself that none of it was real, the same as evelyn hugo. bravo, taylor!]]> 4.20 2019 Daisy Jones & The Six
author: Taylor Jenkins Reid
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.20
book published: 2019
rating: 4
read at: 2021/09/23
date added: 2021/09/23
shelves: audiobook, from-library, made-me-cry, read-in-2021
review:
i need more time to process that this wasn't real and i can't go listen to the songs that were discussed in this book ...

i've been off my audiobook game for years. in college i listened to a bunch so i could read more books per month, but i found myself not able to retain anything from them or remember why i liked them days or weeks later, let alone years. so the suggestion to listen to this on audio is one i accepted skeptically, knowing it would likely dampen my enjoyment of the book since i would only be appreciating it in the short-term.

however, i'm now fully on the team that this audiobook is an unmatched experience. it listens like you're watching a documentary or listening to a podcast with compiled, chronological interviews. what i lacked in interest for the subject matter of a rock band in the 70's, the book made up for it in rich character exploration and an addicting storytelling format. strangely, i think this book could have improved if it were longer and showed more than just one album being developed by the band before things fell apart, but taylor jenkins reid is a master at writing characters that you don't quite love and don't quite hate but they stick with you all the same.

i finished this book weeping because i was touched and wounded at the plot reveal at the end, and once i closed the book, i've been stuck on trying to remind myself that none of it was real, the same as evelyn hugo. bravo, taylor!
]]> <![CDATA[Ivy Aberdeen's Letter to the World]]> 35604722
Mysteriously, Ivy's drawings begin to reappear in her locker with notes from someone telling her to open up about her identity. Ivy thinks--and hopes--that this someone might be her classmate, another girl for whom Ivy has begun to develop a crush. Will Ivy find the strength and courage to follow her true feelings?]]> 309 Ashley Herring Blake 0316515469 Whitney 4
i so badly wish i could've read this when i was younger because i think i really would've appreciated the theme of having to adjust to change. but also as an adult, i really related to this and was comforted by it having also lost my childhood home i grew up in (although by much normal means of moving out rather than having it destroyed in a tornado). there were a lot of elements to this but i feel it balanced them well, and the plot points i thought i had predicted, i ended up being surprised by! this was a really sweet book that i'm so happy i read, and after reading two books by ashley herring blake this month, i intend on reading everything else she's published. love it]]> 4.36 2018 Ivy Aberdeen's Letter to the World
author: Ashley Herring Blake
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.36
book published: 2018
rating: 4
read at: 2021/06/30
date added: 2021/07/01
shelves: childrens, sapphic, lgbtqiap, made-me-cry, read-in-2021
review:
who here is choppin onions????????

i so badly wish i could've read this when i was younger because i think i really would've appreciated the theme of having to adjust to change. but also as an adult, i really related to this and was comforted by it having also lost my childhood home i grew up in (although by much normal means of moving out rather than having it destroyed in a tornado). there were a lot of elements to this but i feel it balanced them well, and the plot points i thought i had predicted, i ended up being surprised by! this was a really sweet book that i'm so happy i read, and after reading two books by ashley herring blake this month, i intend on reading everything else she's published. love it
]]> The Diary of a Young Girl 48855 Anne Frank’s Diary has become a timeless classic; a powerful reminder of the horrors of war and a moving testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

In 1942, as the Nazis occupied Holland, thirteen-year-old Anne Frank and her Jewish family fled their home in Amsterdam and went into hiding. For the next two years, until they were betrayed to the Gestapo, the Franks and another family lived in the cramped “Secret Annexe” of an old office building. Cut off from the outside world, they endured hunger, boredom, the strain of close quarters, and the constant fear of discovery and death.

Through it all, Anne documented her experiences in a diary filled with vivid observations. At times thoughtful, poignant, and even unexpectedly funny, her writing offers a remarkable window into the strength and vulnerability of the human spirit. It’s both a compelling self-portrait of a bright, spirited young woman and a heartbreaking glimpse of a life that should have been far longer.]]> 283 Anne Frank Whitney 4 4.19 1947 The Diary of a Young Girl
author: Anne Frank
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.19
book published: 1947
rating: 4
read at: 2015/10/20
date added: 2021/06/17
shelves: memoir, audiobook, read-in-2015, need-to-reread, made-me-cry, goodreads-top-100
review:
I really wish I had a different translation of this book because this one lacks a lot of the personality and ease compared to the audiobook version I partially listened to. But this book should definitely be one of the books you read before you die because it is so tragic and enlightening. Nothing makes me angrier and sadder than seeing someone with so much potential and excitement rave about their passion for life, and in the end, never made it to accomplish their dreams, or see their work published. (this is also why This Star Won't Go Out made me sob.) Anne surprised me with how real and relatable she is, and she really seems to grow into her writing style and throughout the book you can note a change in her maturity and the way she describes and reflects on things. Had this book been easier to get through it would have been 5 stars, but some parts just dragged for me.
]]> The Fault in Our Stars 11870085
Insightful, bold, irreverent, and raw, The Fault in Our Stars is award-winning author John Green's most ambitious and heartbreaking work yet, brilliantly exploring the funny, thrilling, and tragic business of being alive and in love.]]> 313 John Green Whitney 5 4.13 2012 The Fault in Our Stars
author: John Green
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.13
book published: 2012
rating: 5
read at: 2014/11/02
date added: 2021/06/17
shelves: favorites, read-in-2014, need-to-reread, made-me-cry, goodreads-top-100
review:
I feel guilty marking this as a reread because I only skim-read it for The Traveling Book but it still took me about 2 hours and I cried so I think it counts!
]]> The Book Thief 19063 Librarian's note: An alternate cover edition can be found here

It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will be busier still.

By her brother's graveside, Liesel's life is changed when she picks up a single object, partially hidden in the snow. It is The Gravedigger's Handbook, left behind there by accident, and it is her first act of book thievery. So begins a love affair with books and words, as Liesel, with the help of her accordian-playing foster father, learns to read. Soon she is stealing books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever there are books to be found.

But these are dangerous times. When Liesel's foster family hides a Jew in their basement, Liesel's world is both opened up, and closed down.

In superbly crafted writing that burns with intensity, award-winning author Markus Zusak has given us one of the most enduring stories of our time.

(Note: this title was not published as YA fiction)]]> 592 Markus Zusak Whitney 5 this book is no joke. i was going to give it 4 stars because i thought it was a little too long-winded but truly it is a masterpiece and thank you thank you thank you to everyone that persuaded me to read it.]]> 4.38 2005 The Book Thief
author: Markus Zusak
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.38
book published: 2005
rating: 5
read at: 2015/02/17
date added: 2021/06/17
shelves: favorites, audiobook, read-in-2015, need-to-reread, made-me-cry, goodreads-top-100
review:
i have no words. never in my life have i sobbed so hard at a book. i had to put my knitting down, then i had to stop the audio book because i was crying too hard.
this book is no joke. i was going to give it 4 stars because i thought it was a little too long-winded but truly it is a masterpiece and thank you thank you thank you to everyone that persuaded me to read it.
]]> Lightbringer (Empirium, #3) 36253143 The incredible conclusion to the trilogy that started with the instant New York Times bestsellers Furyborn and Kingsbane!

In this epic finale to the Empirium Trilogy from New York Times bestselling author Claire Legrand, two queens, separated by a thousand years must face their ultimate destinies.

Queen Rielle, pushed away from everything she loves, turns to Corien and his promises of glory. Meanwhile, whispers from the empirium slowly drive her mad, urging her to open the Gate. Separated from Audric and Ludivine, she embraces the role of Blood Queen and her place by Corien's side, determined to become the monster the world believes her to be.

In the future, Eliana arrives in the Empire's capital as a broken shell of herself. Betrayed and abandoned, she fights to keep her power at bay--and away from Corien, who will stop at nothing to travel back in time to Rielle, even if that means destroying her daughter.

But when the mysterious Prophet reveals themselves at last, everything changes, giving Rielle and Eliana a second chance for salvation--or the destruction their world has been dreading.

Praise for Furyborn:
A BuzzFeed Most Anticipated Title of Spring 2018
A 카지노싸이트 Most Anticipated Title of Spring 2018
A Bustle Most Anticipated Title of Spring 2018
"A must-read." --Refinery29
"A series to watch." --Paste magazine
"Visionary." --Bustle magazine
"One of the biggest new YA fantasies." --Entertainment Weekly
"Empowering." --BuzzFeed]]> 592 Claire Legrand 1492656690 Whitney 5 3.96 2020 Lightbringer (Empirium, #3)
author: Claire Legrand
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.96
book published: 2020
rating: 5
read at: 2021/05/16
date added: 2021/06/17
shelves: read-in-2021, made-me-cry, favs-of-2021
review:
i'm still actively crying as i write this review. why is this the best YA series to ever exist ever
]]> Love and Other Words 36206591 The story of the heart can never be unwritten.

Macy Sorensen is settling into an ambitious if emotionally tepid routine: work hard as a new pediatrics resident, plan her wedding to an older, financially secure man, keep her head down and heart tucked away.

But when she runs into Elliot Petropoulos—the first and only love of her life—the careful bubble she’s constructed begins to dissolve. Once upon a time, Elliot was Macy’s entire world—growing from her gangly bookish friend into the man who coaxed her heart open again after the loss of her mother...only to break it on the very night he declared his love for her.

Told in alternating timelines between Then and Now, teenage Elliot and Macy grow from friends to much more—spending weekends and lazy summers together in a house outside of San Francisco devouring books, sharing favorite words, and talking through their growing pains and triumphs. As adults, they have become strangers to one another until their chance reunion. Although their memories are obscured by the agony of what happened that night so many years ago, Elliot will come to understand the truth behind Macy’s decade-long silence, and will have to overcome the past and himself to revive her faith in the possibility of an all-consuming love.

Love, loss, friendship, and the betrayals of the past all collide in this first fiction novel from New York Times and #1 international bestselling author Christina Lauren (Autoboyography, Dating You / Hating You).]]> 432 Christina Lauren 1501190539 Whitney 4
for some reason this book made it to the list of books i've owned the longest that I haven't yet read. I think it's because I heard that it's not CL's best work and it's more character-based than smutty, but this still flew by and as mentioned, it made me weep by the end. it's been so long since i've read a good romance book that im just out here mourning my lack of an elliot. ]]> 4.22 2018 Love and Other Words
author: Christina Lauren
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.22
book published: 2018
rating: 4
read at: 2021/02/17
date added: 2021/06/17
shelves: romance, made-me-cry, read-in-2021, smutty, favs-of-2021
review:
i just finished this and it's 2 a.m. and i cried significantly

for some reason this book made it to the list of books i've owned the longest that I haven't yet read. I think it's because I heard that it's not CL's best work and it's more character-based than smutty, but this still flew by and as mentioned, it made me weep by the end. it's been so long since i've read a good romance book that im just out here mourning my lack of an elliot.
]]> Black Girl Unlimited 38599259
Heavily autobiographical and infused with magical realism, Black Girl Unlimited fearlessly explores the intersections of poverty, sexual violence, depression, racism, and sexism—all through the arc of a transcendent coming-of-age.

A powerful memoir for fans of Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson and American Street by Ibi Zoboi.]]> 304 Echo Brown Whitney 5
i loved every page of it. from the metaphors to each chapter focusing on a different life lesson to echo's writing, this book was raw and meaningful. if i had read it as a teenager i think it would've gone so far over my head, which just shows that teens nowadays are so smart and more understanding and receptive to books like this. i highly, highly, highly recommend this.]]> 4.32 2020 Black Girl Unlimited
author: Echo Brown
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.32
book published: 2020
rating: 5
read at: 2020/07/11
date added: 2020/07/11
shelves: favs-of-2020, feminism, made-me-cry, read-in-2020
review:
uhhhh who else here is crying?? this book had me weeping.

i loved every page of it. from the metaphors to each chapter focusing on a different life lesson to echo's writing, this book was raw and meaningful. if i had read it as a teenager i think it would've gone so far over my head, which just shows that teens nowadays are so smart and more understanding and receptive to books like this. i highly, highly, highly recommend this.
]]> Beach Read 52867387 A romance writer who no longer believes in love and a literary writer stuck in a rut engage in a summer-long challenge that may just upend everything they believe about happily ever afters.

Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.

They’re polar opposites.

In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they’re living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer’s block.

Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She’ll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he’ll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no-one will fall in love. Really.]]> 358 Emily Henry 1984806734 Whitney 5
nothin' like crying on my balcony at the last 30 pages of this. wow i loved it!

beach read is a bit misleading with its title and cover because what i thought was going to be a light and angsty summer read actually contained a lot of depth and thoughtfulness and heartache. i was able to shift gears and embrace that, and it made this book and the relationship that bloomed within it that much more special. i loved the writing style and the main character's thought process and her slow evolution to being okay. i loved the setting and the small town-ness of it and the banter between her and gus.

the one hurdle i'm not quite over is that this book has a little too much of an unrealistic gleam to it. it mostly stems from the characters' names. no offense if your name is january of augustus, but i couldn't quite shake the feeling that i was reading a romance between a fairytale character and a willy wonka character. the names, and the middle chunk of the book where the characters were chasing each other and not being transparent with their feelings, made this book just a bit at arms' length, but the way it ended brought it back to earth for me.

i highly recommend this book whether you're a sappy romance reader or someone who needs a bit of substance. it balances both perfectly and though it isn't quite the lighthearted beach read it claims to be, it definitely should be on your TBR for this summer.]]> 3.98 2020 Beach Read
author: Emily Henry
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.98
book published: 2020
rating: 5
read at: 2020/05/30
date added: 2020/05/31
shelves: made-me-cry, read-in-2020, romance, smutty
review:
4.5 stars

nothin' like crying on my balcony at the last 30 pages of this. wow i loved it!

beach read is a bit misleading with its title and cover because what i thought was going to be a light and angsty summer read actually contained a lot of depth and thoughtfulness and heartache. i was able to shift gears and embrace that, and it made this book and the relationship that bloomed within it that much more special. i loved the writing style and the main character's thought process and her slow evolution to being okay. i loved the setting and the small town-ness of it and the banter between her and gus.

the one hurdle i'm not quite over is that this book has a little too much of an unrealistic gleam to it. it mostly stems from the characters' names. no offense if your name is january of augustus, but i couldn't quite shake the feeling that i was reading a romance between a fairytale character and a willy wonka character. the names, and the middle chunk of the book where the characters were chasing each other and not being transparent with their feelings, made this book just a bit at arms' length, but the way it ended brought it back to earth for me.

i highly recommend this book whether you're a sappy romance reader or someone who needs a bit of substance. it balances both perfectly and though it isn't quite the lighthearted beach read it claims to be, it definitely should be on your TBR for this summer.
]]> <![CDATA[Darkdawn (The Nevernight Chronicle, #3)]]> 23264672
The Nevernight Chronicle is a complex fantasy series about Mia Corvere, a kick-butt, flawed heroine who trains as an assassin as part of her mission for personal revenge. Her tale takes place in the immersive world of Godsgrave which, although based on ancient Rome and Venice, is imaginative with many original details provided by a beloved snarky narrator.

The Republic of Itreya is in chaos. Mia has assassinated Cardinal Duomo and rumors of Consul Scaeva’s death ripple through the street of Godsgrave like wildfire. But buried beneath those same streets, deep in the ancient city’s bones, lies a secret that will change the Republic forever.

Mia and her brother Jonnen must journey through the depths of the ancient metropolis. Their quest will take them through the Godsgrave underdark, back to the library of the Quiet Mountain and the poisoned blades of Mia’s old mentors, and at last the fabled Crown of the Moon. There, Mia will at last discover the origins of the darkin, and learn the destiny that lies in store for her and her world. But with the three suns now in descent, and Truedark on the horizon, will she survive?]]> 491 Jay Kristoff 146688505X Whitney 5

this is one of those books where i didn't start crying until i finished the epilogue and closed the book. the ending was a tiny bit muddled with the action, but other than that, i have zero complaints. i'm gonna miss mia and her triumphantness and mister kindly :c

mr. kristoff i am begging for a spinoff novel about cloud corleone


[spoilers removed]]]> 4.30 2019 Darkdawn (The Nevernight Chronicle, #3)
author: Jay Kristoff
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.30
book published: 2019
rating: 5
read at: 2020/05/10
date added: 2020/05/10
shelves: favs-of-2020, lgbtqiap, made-me-cry, read-in-2020, sapphic, smutty
review:
everyone be quiet, i'm thinking


this is one of those books where i didn't start crying until i finished the epilogue and closed the book. the ending was a tiny bit muddled with the action, but other than that, i have zero complaints. i'm gonna miss mia and her triumphantness and mister kindly :c

mr. kristoff i am begging for a spinoff novel about cloud corleone


[spoilers removed]
]]> Defy Me (Shatter Me, #5) 34992959
Juliette’s short tenure as the supreme commander of North America has been an utter disaster. When the children of the other world leaders show up on her doorstep, she wants nothing more than to turn to Warner for support and guidance. But he shatters her heart when he reveals that he’s been keeping secrets about her family and her identity from her—secrets that change everything.

Juliette is devastated, and the darkness that’s always dwelled within her threatens to consume her. An explosive encounter with unexpected visitors might be enough to push her over the edge.]]> 357 Tahereh Mafi 0062676393 Whitney 3
3/29/20
It's still difficult to rate this book. Definitely not 4 or 5 stars, but I don't know if I could go lower. This book's two halves are competing to be the worst half: the first half is SO boring and over-explained with no plot points, and the second half is the characters calling themselves by new names with cliche and annoying dialogue. I didn't find myself as upset by this as I was the first time(s) I read it, but I don't think the book got any better. I just was more prepared that it wasn't going to be what I was hoping.

4/28/19
This review is going to sound really negative, but truthfully, I think this book has equal parts good and bad. The difference is, whereas all the other Shatter Me books’ good parts outweighs any bad that exists, this book had so many terrible scenes and lines of dialogue that were not be redeemed by the sparse action and melodramatic romance scenes. There’s really no way for me to jump into this other than chronologically, so here we go.

Reunions

The reunions sucked because the stakes felt so low and I never felt any adrenaline or excitement about their reunion. It was just sort of…. Oh. Like, Lifetime Movie Network called and they want their script back. Every single line of it was so annoying, and nothing about them reuniting was unique. There was no description of the desperation of the two or how each other looked; it was all Juliette’s cliche crying and apologies, and blanket statements like “he’s alive” and “he’s intact." Since we’ve known for 300 pages that Warner is fine, it’s really anticlimactic for Juliette to be like omg he’s alive!! Like yeah, we know. I just really was not digging this writing at ALL.
More than the dramatic cheesy dialogue and Juliette breaking out into cliche sobs, I LOATHE how she was the one apologizing to him. Juliette did NOTHING wrong in Restore Me except not communicate with him, but she blamed herself for everything and Warner didn’t even think to, I don’t know, APOLOGIZE BACK‼ Warner was literally the one in the wrong but Juliette was the one apologizing profusely. I wanted them to solve their shit instead of pretending like everything will be perfect until the end of time. Which is another thing that bothers me.
In Restore Me, Kenji very accurately stated something like, "You have to talk and figure out your shit before your relationship can be okay," but the second warnette made eye contact in this book, their relationship was perfect all over again with zero discussion except "no more lies" which like..... blah! Again, I felt like a bunch of development from Restore Me just got dumped down a drain. I wanted Juliette to continue being angry with him. I wanted her to demand an apology and them to have a long discussion about what went wrong instead of them collapsing into each others’ arms crying melodramatically and then her apologizing and them being like NOTHING IS WRONG WITH OUR LOVE AND OUR PAST IS THE PAST AND WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER!

The engagement

I don’t like it. I get it. But I don’t like it.
I understand Warner's motivation. I understand the “we don’t know we have tomorrow, so I want to be together now.” But…. there’s so many flaws in that logic. I think mostly, it’s knowing Tahereh said that she’s not killing off Warner or Juliette that makes it so anti-climactic. Warner being worried they won’t survive is just kind of bullshit because…. we know they will. Also, I know that Warner says he considers their residence in 241 a new beginning free from obligation and the beginning of a new life, but it’s such an unceremonious, boring place. I wish that their engagement could be attached to somewhere that’s sentimental for them rather than just a tent in the middle of nowhere. I’m also trying to justify these criticisms against knowing that Warner isn’t one for theatrics. I understand he wouldn’t want to make a huge deal out of it, but his not knowing he’s supposed to have a ring is just… out of character? Especially when he’s able to chime off random facts about Tangled.

Writing Style
I think this is the part of the book that let me down the most.
Shatter Me has been an iconic book for its metaphors and description and lush detailing, so it’s like this book is from another author completely. There’s a difference between evolved writing and laziness. It just completely lacks any character or setting descriptions. Both within each scene and throughout the entire book, if I didn’t have the characters’ faces and descriptions memorized, it’d be hard to even get a sense of what they were like. Particularly in the reuniting scene and with Juliette’s biological parents, I think the writing veered toward dry and boring because it left out any unique descriptions that would make those scenes more vivid or meaningful. We're meeting her real parents for the first time, which is HUGE, and we don't even get their hair color until the end? It was just so sloppy.
Also, there were certain points where new information would be revealed and someone would ask a rhetorical question, and you could tell it only functioned so that readers could keep up with the story. Honestly, this criticism is mean, but it felt like this book was written for the dumbasses who ask stupid questions about the series because they didn’t understand the subtlety of the previous books and so Tahereh started spelling things out plainly—far too plainly in my opinion. I know books in series should stop and give you an idea of the previous books, but still, the number of times that characters stopped and asked such clunky rhetorical questions and had paragraphs-long recaps of stuff we already know just became disappointing.
Also, the two week time skip within this book is something I really don’t like. A lot of opportunities were lost to flesh out the world building and Juliette's parents and stuff. I feel like we were cheated out of descriptions of Juliette’s day-to-day life that really would have expanded the story to a more meaningful level. We never got scenes of her pretending to have her memory wiped. We never got scenes of her interacting with her parents, pretending to be civil, never got her reactions to information as she was receiving it, only in hindsight. I’m just upset that SO much of this time skip was omitted because I think we lost a lot of valuable information and details. I was so excited that this book was set in New Zealand, but we literally didn’t get a single description of it other than the brief time she was on a balcony, which was told in a flashback. Massive let-down.
Finally, the cheesiness! The dialogue in this was awful more times than not. Usually, warnette lines are iconic and meaningful, but I could actually compile a list of lines they say to each other in heated or passionate or cute moments that completely ruined the mood for me because they were so cheesy or typical or blah.

The name changes

I think Juliette's name change had the potential to be okay. Two things could have sold me on it: first, the characters actually continue to call her Juliette UNTIL she’s indicated that she doesn’t want to be called it anymore. I know that’s her birth name and her “real” identity, but the other characters deciding for her that that’s who she’s gonna be rubbed me the wrong way. I understand Nazeera, or even Warner, considering her Ella, but everyone else being so quick to jump on board just felt really icky because it was like they were deciding who she was without her being there or her consent.
Second, I wanted Juliette to have a longer and/or more meaningful discussion of why she didn’t want to go by Juliette anymore. I understand why she doesn’t. I understand Juliette is an old name, one that was only given to her by Anderson as a cruel joke. But I feel like she deserves to keep the name Juliette because she reclaimed it. Anderson labeled her a tragedy but she rose above all her trauma and metamorphosed her pain and fear into love and action in order to better herself, her friends, and her world. She overcame the name and the abuse of the man and the stereotypes that came with it. Reverting to Ella, I understand, is somewhat of a clean slate and shows her heritage as a person of power, but it’s just not the same person to me. If she would have taken more time to unpack why she wants to be called Ella instead of literally only just saying “it’s prettier,” then I wouldn’t be as upset. This applies both in Juliette’s and Warner’s point of view.
Warner deciding so quickly that he likes the name Ella more and he wants to default to that with no transition just felt so off. In general, I think this relates to the fact that after they got their memories back (*cough* infodumps of flashbacks), they did very little to reconcile past with present, so it was like their memories never actually blended their present selves. They never had a moment of looking at each other with the weight of new memories on their backs, and they never even talked about their shared history other than “do you remember me?” and “yeah.” The majority of Warner's feelings for Juliette developed during the last four months, so it felt really uncomfortable that he would revert back to Ella so quickly when it was Juliette he felt such deep feelings for. I’m not saying it’s entirely unrealistic, just that I wish there would’ve been a longer explanation or transition rather than the abrupt jump from one name to another with no notable differentiation between the two.
Waiting four years to publish add-on books and then changing the identity of your main characters five years after their established names is just too much for me. I’ve been loving these books for almost seven years and I can’t make that change overnight, even though I’m trying to be more willing to see them as Ella and Aaron.

The sex scene

It’s weird that all my complaints about this book are about the romance because warnette is literally what keeps these books afloat but this was just bad!!! 90% of my trouble with the romance is because the name changes make my brain think they’re different characters, but still. The dialogue between them is so clunky and it just reads like Fanfiction for some reason. Also, for a reuniting make-up sex scene, it was drastically underwhelming, the same type of fade-to-black that chapter 55 was, but without any of the climactic angst or sexy dialogue. Also, Juliette is not a screamer and I will die on that hill. Also, yall got condoms???? I’m NOT dealing with a book 6 pregnancy plot. Also, the fact that afterward Kenji waltzes in the room while they’re both half naked is just so out of character. I know this is all so specific but like…. ugh.

Random/Dumb complaints (ie. things I wish were different but it’s just my own selfishness and let down expectations, not necessarily flaws with the book or writing itself)

•I will always harbor resentment that we weren’t given a scene of all the characters reacting humorously to Warner’s first name. At this point, even if we get it belatedly, it’s still not gonna be that funny. For so many characters (including Juliette) to name drop Warner so often and all the side characters give no response, it reeeeally let me down that there was no theatrical or funny moment of them being like “hahah whoa you have a first name!” like not even Adam gave a reaction. It just makes me think that maybe they knew all along, and that kinda makes me sad bc for soooo long, once again, I thought they didn’t know and it would’ve been funny if they found out.
•Juliette waking up in her childhood bedroom and meeting her parents was a disappointing scene for me because it felt like the same character she was at the beginning of Ignite Me. In Restore Me she went through this whole transformation of “now I don’t give a shit” and she got so much more confident, yet she still became such a blubbering mess multiple times in this book. Now again, I don’t want this to be construed as me calling Juliette weak or annoying because I will LITERALLY fight anyone who thinks this and it’s the number one thing that gets me heated when I see it in negative reviews, but still, the way Juliette’s dramatic reactions to things felt so out of character with the growth that she experienced in the past two books.
•Ppl were roasting Delalieu so hard and my lil snake man did not deserve it. Honestly if the twins don’t heal him im unstanning
•The first time I read the book, I got a lot of anxiety from the idea that Juliette was “made” almost like a robot rather than a human being. This isn’t quite a criticism anymore, but this book is teetering on the edge of uncomfortable and if that is expanded or exploited in book six, it might make it irreparably painful or unrealistic for me to read.

Questions/theories

•HOW DOES ANDERSON KNOW WHAT WARNER’S BEEN DOING?????? WHY THE SEX IN THE AFTERNOONS LINE?????? IM SO DISTURBED I’M BEYOND WORDS WHAT THE FUUUUUUU
•What are the plans Anderson made for James and Adam?
•What if Leila is in the asylum?
•Why does Warner remember his mom in the NZ lab? Is what juliette experiences as her mom works on her what Leila was inflicted with?
•Anderson told warner “I stole your memories of a lot of things” and I neED TO KNOW WHAT ELSE HE DOESN’T REMEMBER!! Did he have a childhood with Adam in it? Are there memories with his mom? Baseball? Other siblings? More abuse? Idk I’m stressed

4/3/19
The more I think about it, the more and more I think this really just isnt on the same level as the other books and theres 2 major plot points that i really just don’t like, so im lowering this to 4 stars or maybe even a 3.5.

4/2/19
4.5 stars?? Something stops me from giving this a full five because there were actually a number of things that I'm not a fan of, but I know from past experience that rereading it helps it feel more real, so I might just have to do that, but still.

I devoured this so fast I didn't even have time to mark it as "currently reading" on goodreads. but HOOOLLYY SHITTTTTTTT this plot twist had me literally running around my house and screaming!!!!]]> 4.27 2019 Defy Me (Shatter Me, #5)
author: Tahereh Mafi
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.27
book published: 2019
rating: 3
read at: 2020/03/29
date added: 2020/03/29
shelves: made-me-cry, read-in-2019, favs-of-2020
review:


3/29/20
It's still difficult to rate this book. Definitely not 4 or 5 stars, but I don't know if I could go lower. This book's two halves are competing to be the worst half: the first half is SO boring and over-explained with no plot points, and the second half is the characters calling themselves by new names with cliche and annoying dialogue. I didn't find myself as upset by this as I was the first time(s) I read it, but I don't think the book got any better. I just was more prepared that it wasn't going to be what I was hoping.

4/28/19
This review is going to sound really negative, but truthfully, I think this book has equal parts good and bad. The difference is, whereas all the other Shatter Me books’ good parts outweighs any bad that exists, this book had so many terrible scenes and lines of dialogue that were not be redeemed by the sparse action and melodramatic romance scenes. There’s really no way for me to jump into this other than chronologically, so here we go.

Reunions

The reunions sucked because the stakes felt so low and I never felt any adrenaline or excitement about their reunion. It was just sort of…. Oh. Like, Lifetime Movie Network called and they want their script back. Every single line of it was so annoying, and nothing about them reuniting was unique. There was no description of the desperation of the two or how each other looked; it was all Juliette’s cliche crying and apologies, and blanket statements like “he’s alive” and “he’s intact." Since we’ve known for 300 pages that Warner is fine, it’s really anticlimactic for Juliette to be like omg he’s alive!! Like yeah, we know. I just really was not digging this writing at ALL.
More than the dramatic cheesy dialogue and Juliette breaking out into cliche sobs, I LOATHE how she was the one apologizing to him. Juliette did NOTHING wrong in Restore Me except not communicate with him, but she blamed herself for everything and Warner didn’t even think to, I don’t know, APOLOGIZE BACK‼ Warner was literally the one in the wrong but Juliette was the one apologizing profusely. I wanted them to solve their shit instead of pretending like everything will be perfect until the end of time. Which is another thing that bothers me.
In Restore Me, Kenji very accurately stated something like, "You have to talk and figure out your shit before your relationship can be okay," but the second warnette made eye contact in this book, their relationship was perfect all over again with zero discussion except "no more lies" which like..... blah! Again, I felt like a bunch of development from Restore Me just got dumped down a drain. I wanted Juliette to continue being angry with him. I wanted her to demand an apology and them to have a long discussion about what went wrong instead of them collapsing into each others’ arms crying melodramatically and then her apologizing and them being like NOTHING IS WRONG WITH OUR LOVE AND OUR PAST IS THE PAST AND WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER!

The engagement

I don’t like it. I get it. But I don’t like it.
I understand Warner's motivation. I understand the “we don’t know we have tomorrow, so I want to be together now.” But…. there’s so many flaws in that logic. I think mostly, it’s knowing Tahereh said that she’s not killing off Warner or Juliette that makes it so anti-climactic. Warner being worried they won’t survive is just kind of bullshit because…. we know they will. Also, I know that Warner says he considers their residence in 241 a new beginning free from obligation and the beginning of a new life, but it’s such an unceremonious, boring place. I wish that their engagement could be attached to somewhere that’s sentimental for them rather than just a tent in the middle of nowhere. I’m also trying to justify these criticisms against knowing that Warner isn’t one for theatrics. I understand he wouldn’t want to make a huge deal out of it, but his not knowing he’s supposed to have a ring is just… out of character? Especially when he’s able to chime off random facts about Tangled.

Writing Style
I think this is the part of the book that let me down the most.
Shatter Me has been an iconic book for its metaphors and description and lush detailing, so it’s like this book is from another author completely. There’s a difference between evolved writing and laziness. It just completely lacks any character or setting descriptions. Both within each scene and throughout the entire book, if I didn’t have the characters’ faces and descriptions memorized, it’d be hard to even get a sense of what they were like. Particularly in the reuniting scene and with Juliette’s biological parents, I think the writing veered toward dry and boring because it left out any unique descriptions that would make those scenes more vivid or meaningful. We're meeting her real parents for the first time, which is HUGE, and we don't even get their hair color until the end? It was just so sloppy.
Also, there were certain points where new information would be revealed and someone would ask a rhetorical question, and you could tell it only functioned so that readers could keep up with the story. Honestly, this criticism is mean, but it felt like this book was written for the dumbasses who ask stupid questions about the series because they didn’t understand the subtlety of the previous books and so Tahereh started spelling things out plainly—far too plainly in my opinion. I know books in series should stop and give you an idea of the previous books, but still, the number of times that characters stopped and asked such clunky rhetorical questions and had paragraphs-long recaps of stuff we already know just became disappointing.
Also, the two week time skip within this book is something I really don’t like. A lot of opportunities were lost to flesh out the world building and Juliette's parents and stuff. I feel like we were cheated out of descriptions of Juliette’s day-to-day life that really would have expanded the story to a more meaningful level. We never got scenes of her pretending to have her memory wiped. We never got scenes of her interacting with her parents, pretending to be civil, never got her reactions to information as she was receiving it, only in hindsight. I’m just upset that SO much of this time skip was omitted because I think we lost a lot of valuable information and details. I was so excited that this book was set in New Zealand, but we literally didn’t get a single description of it other than the brief time she was on a balcony, which was told in a flashback. Massive let-down.
Finally, the cheesiness! The dialogue in this was awful more times than not. Usually, warnette lines are iconic and meaningful, but I could actually compile a list of lines they say to each other in heated or passionate or cute moments that completely ruined the mood for me because they were so cheesy or typical or blah.

The name changes

I think Juliette's name change had the potential to be okay. Two things could have sold me on it: first, the characters actually continue to call her Juliette UNTIL she’s indicated that she doesn’t want to be called it anymore. I know that’s her birth name and her “real” identity, but the other characters deciding for her that that’s who she’s gonna be rubbed me the wrong way. I understand Nazeera, or even Warner, considering her Ella, but everyone else being so quick to jump on board just felt really icky because it was like they were deciding who she was without her being there or her consent.
Second, I wanted Juliette to have a longer and/or more meaningful discussion of why she didn’t want to go by Juliette anymore. I understand why she doesn’t. I understand Juliette is an old name, one that was only given to her by Anderson as a cruel joke. But I feel like she deserves to keep the name Juliette because she reclaimed it. Anderson labeled her a tragedy but she rose above all her trauma and metamorphosed her pain and fear into love and action in order to better herself, her friends, and her world. She overcame the name and the abuse of the man and the stereotypes that came with it. Reverting to Ella, I understand, is somewhat of a clean slate and shows her heritage as a person of power, but it’s just not the same person to me. If she would have taken more time to unpack why she wants to be called Ella instead of literally only just saying “it’s prettier,” then I wouldn’t be as upset. This applies both in Juliette’s and Warner’s point of view.
Warner deciding so quickly that he likes the name Ella more and he wants to default to that with no transition just felt so off. In general, I think this relates to the fact that after they got their memories back (*cough* infodumps of flashbacks), they did very little to reconcile past with present, so it was like their memories never actually blended their present selves. They never had a moment of looking at each other with the weight of new memories on their backs, and they never even talked about their shared history other than “do you remember me?” and “yeah.” The majority of Warner's feelings for Juliette developed during the last four months, so it felt really uncomfortable that he would revert back to Ella so quickly when it was Juliette he felt such deep feelings for. I’m not saying it’s entirely unrealistic, just that I wish there would’ve been a longer explanation or transition rather than the abrupt jump from one name to another with no notable differentiation between the two.
Waiting four years to publish add-on books and then changing the identity of your main characters five years after their established names is just too much for me. I’ve been loving these books for almost seven years and I can’t make that change overnight, even though I’m trying to be more willing to see them as Ella and Aaron.

The sex scene

It’s weird that all my complaints about this book are about the romance because warnette is literally what keeps these books afloat but this was just bad!!! 90% of my trouble with the romance is because the name changes make my brain think they’re different characters, but still. The dialogue between them is so clunky and it just reads like Fanfiction for some reason. Also, for a reuniting make-up sex scene, it was drastically underwhelming, the same type of fade-to-black that chapter 55 was, but without any of the climactic angst or sexy dialogue. Also, Juliette is not a screamer and I will die on that hill. Also, yall got condoms???? I’m NOT dealing with a book 6 pregnancy plot. Also, the fact that afterward Kenji waltzes in the room while they’re both half naked is just so out of character. I know this is all so specific but like…. ugh.

Random/Dumb complaints (ie. things I wish were different but it’s just my own selfishness and let down expectations, not necessarily flaws with the book or writing itself)

•I will always harbor resentment that we weren’t given a scene of all the characters reacting humorously to Warner’s first name. At this point, even if we get it belatedly, it’s still not gonna be that funny. For so many characters (including Juliette) to name drop Warner so often and all the side characters give no response, it reeeeally let me down that there was no theatrical or funny moment of them being like “hahah whoa you have a first name!” like not even Adam gave a reaction. It just makes me think that maybe they knew all along, and that kinda makes me sad bc for soooo long, once again, I thought they didn’t know and it would’ve been funny if they found out.
•Juliette waking up in her childhood bedroom and meeting her parents was a disappointing scene for me because it felt like the same character she was at the beginning of Ignite Me. In Restore Me she went through this whole transformation of “now I don’t give a shit” and she got so much more confident, yet she still became such a blubbering mess multiple times in this book. Now again, I don’t want this to be construed as me calling Juliette weak or annoying because I will LITERALLY fight anyone who thinks this and it’s the number one thing that gets me heated when I see it in negative reviews, but still, the way Juliette’s dramatic reactions to things felt so out of character with the growth that she experienced in the past two books.
•Ppl were roasting Delalieu so hard and my lil snake man did not deserve it. Honestly if the twins don’t heal him im unstanning
•The first time I read the book, I got a lot of anxiety from the idea that Juliette was “made” almost like a robot rather than a human being. This isn’t quite a criticism anymore, but this book is teetering on the edge of uncomfortable and if that is expanded or exploited in book six, it might make it irreparably painful or unrealistic for me to read.

Questions/theories

•HOW DOES ANDERSON KNOW WHAT WARNER’S BEEN DOING?????? WHY THE SEX IN THE AFTERNOONS LINE?????? IM SO DISTURBED I’M BEYOND WORDS WHAT THE FUUUUUUU
•What are the plans Anderson made for James and Adam?
•What if Leila is in the asylum?
•Why does Warner remember his mom in the NZ lab? Is what juliette experiences as her mom works on her what Leila was inflicted with?
•Anderson told warner “I stole your memories of a lot of things” and I neED TO KNOW WHAT ELSE HE DOESN’T REMEMBER!! Did he have a childhood with Adam in it? Are there memories with his mom? Baseball? Other siblings? More abuse? Idk I’m stressed

4/3/19
The more I think about it, the more and more I think this really just isnt on the same level as the other books and theres 2 major plot points that i really just don’t like, so im lowering this to 4 stars or maybe even a 3.5.

4/2/19
4.5 stars?? Something stops me from giving this a full five because there were actually a number of things that I'm not a fan of, but I know from past experience that rereading it helps it feel more real, so I might just have to do that, but still.

I devoured this so fast I didn't even have time to mark it as "currently reading" on goodreads. but HOOOLLYY SHITTTTTTTT this plot twist had me literally running around my house and screaming!!!!
]]> A Little Life 22822858
Over the decades, their relationships deepen and darken, tinged by addiction, success, and pride. Yet their greatest challenge, each comes to realize, is Jude himself, by midlife a terrifyingly talented litigator yet an increasingly broken man, his mind and body scarred by an unspeakable childhood, and haunted by what he fears is a degree of trauma that he’ll not only be unable to overcome—but that will define his life forever.]]> 720 Hanya Yanagihara 0385539258 Whitney 5 ow 4.27 2015 A Little Life
author: Hanya Yanagihara
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.27
book published: 2015
rating: 5
read at: 2020/02/21
date added: 2020/02/21
shelves: favs-of-2020, lgbtqiap, made-me-cry, read-in-2020
review:
ow
]]> One Day in December 38255337 Two people. Ten chances. One unforgettable love story.

Laurie is pretty sure love at first sight doesn't exist anywhere but the movies. But then, through a misted-up bus window one snowy December day, she sees a man who she knows instantly is the one. Their eyes meet, there's a moment of pure magic... and then her bus drives away.

Certain they're fated to find each other again, Laurie spends a year scanning every bus stop and cafe in London for him. But she doesn't find him, not when it matters anyway. Instead they "reunite" at a Christmas party, when her best friend Sarah giddily introduces her new boyfriend to Laurie. It's Jack, the man from the bus. It would be.

What follows for Laurie, Sarah and Jack is ten years of friendship, heartbreak, missed opportunities, roads not taken, and destinies reconsidered. One Day in December is a joyous, heartwarming and immensely moving love story to escape into and a reminder that fate takes inexplicable turns along the route to happiness.

Alternate cover edition of ISBN 9780525574682.]]> 393 Josie Silver Whitney 4
I will say right off the bat that you won't enjoy this if you detest books with cheating in it. I found it done tastefully--if you'll excuse my calling cheating tasteful--because it explored the emotional ramifications and actually dealt the characters consequences. One unforgivable thing to me, however, was the timeline of this book. It skips to certain portions of their lives over 9 years, and with these abrupt changes in time, several plot points were scattered in as a "Oh hey, by the way, this happened since we last talked" rather than a gradual development. By the years being so choppy, it almost distanced the two characters in my mind rather than heightened the angst.

I'm torn on whether I would read another book by this author because although I liked it, I wasn't wowed by it. I still say give it a go if you'd like to read something sappy that talks about relationships and hardships within them, but I would call it more of a contemporary than the steamy romance I was expecting.]]> 3.80 2018 One Day in December
author: Josie Silver
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.80
book published: 2018
rating: 4
read at: 2019/12/28
date added: 2019/12/29
shelves: romance, made-me-cry, read-in-2019
review:
This book is what a Lifetime Movie would be if Lifetime Movies weren't full of generic characters and dialogue. The plot was heartwarming and predictable, but the people in it had a lot more life to it than your run of the mill storyline. Thankfully, the angst and witty narration kept me going during this book where there was a distinct absence of any smut or sexiness, and I did end up teary by the end. Still, it wasn't a new favorite of the year, but it was a nice enough Christmassy read.

I will say right off the bat that you won't enjoy this if you detest books with cheating in it. I found it done tastefully--if you'll excuse my calling cheating tasteful--because it explored the emotional ramifications and actually dealt the characters consequences. One unforgivable thing to me, however, was the timeline of this book. It skips to certain portions of their lives over 9 years, and with these abrupt changes in time, several plot points were scattered in as a "Oh hey, by the way, this happened since we last talked" rather than a gradual development. By the years being so choppy, it almost distanced the two characters in my mind rather than heightened the angst.

I'm torn on whether I would read another book by this author because although I liked it, I wasn't wowed by it. I still say give it a go if you'd like to read something sappy that talks about relationships and hardships within them, but I would call it more of a contemporary than the steamy romance I was expecting.
]]> The Nightingale 21853621 In love we find out who we want to be. In war we find out who we are.

France, 1939

In the quiet village of Carriveau, Vianne Mauriac says goodbye to her husband, Antoine, as he heads for the Front. She doesn't believe that the Nazis will invade France…but invade they do, in droves of marching soldiers, in caravans of trucks and tanks, in planes that fill the skies and drop bombs upon the innocent. When a German captain requisitions Vianne's home, she and her daughter must live with the enemy or lose everything. Without food or money or hope, as danger escalates all around them, she is forced to make one impossible choice after another to keep her family alive.

Vianne's sister, Isabelle, is a rebellious eighteen-year-old, searching for purpose with all the reckless passion of youth. While thousands of Parisians march into the unknown terrors of war, she meets Gäetan, a partisan who believes the French can fight the Nazis from within France, and she falls in love as only the young can…completely. But when he betrays her, Isabelle joins the Resistance and never looks back, risking her life time and again to save others.

With courage, grace, and powerful insight, bestselling author Kristin Hannah captures the epic panorama of World War II and illuminates an intimate part of history seldom seen: the women's war. The Nightingale tells the stories of two sisters, separated by years and experience, by ideals, passion and circumstance, each embarking on her own dangerous path toward survival, love, and freedom in German-occupied, war-torn France―a heartbreakingly beautiful novel that celebrates the resilience of the human spirit and the durability of women. It is a novel for everyone, a novel for a lifetime.]]> 440 Kristin Hannah 0312577222 Whitney 4
This book was really fast and easy to read, which at first was a positive. I rarely consume adult fiction so voraciously, so it was a pleasant surprise. However, a book of this subject matter shouldn't be easy to read, in my opinion. I wanted it to disturb me and challenge me and make me feel what the characters were going through, but because it followed two women over multiple years, it felt a bit like it glided over everything.

I don't have much else to say because it was a good book that I would recommend if you're interested in seeing the women's side of World War II, but since the selection of books on World War II is so vast, this isn't one that immediately jumps out to me.]]> 4.63 2015 The Nightingale
author: Kristin Hannah
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.63
book published: 2015
rating: 4
read at: 2019/11/05
date added: 2019/11/05
shelves: read-in-2019, made-me-cry, audiobook
review:
I don't have an opening line for this review other than sigh, I thought it would be better. Maybe reading it on the coattails of reading Shadow of the Wind made it less striking, but although I sailed through this book in two days, the hype and the synopsis made me think this book had a lot more to it than there actually was.

This book was really fast and easy to read, which at first was a positive. I rarely consume adult fiction so voraciously, so it was a pleasant surprise. However, a book of this subject matter shouldn't be easy to read, in my opinion. I wanted it to disturb me and challenge me and make me feel what the characters were going through, but because it followed two women over multiple years, it felt a bit like it glided over everything.

I don't have much else to say because it was a good book that I would recommend if you're interested in seeing the women's side of World War II, but since the selection of books on World War II is so vast, this isn't one that immediately jumps out to me.
]]> <![CDATA[The Bromance Book Club (Bromance Book Club, #1)]]> 44019067 The first rule of book club: You don't talk about book club.

Nashville Legends second baseman Gavin Scott's marriage is in major league trouble. He’s recently discovered a humiliating secret: his wife Thea has always faked the Big O. When he loses his cool at the revelation, it’s the final straw on their already strained relationship. Thea asks for a divorce, and Gavin realizes he’s let his pride and fear get the better of him.

Welcome to the Bromance Book Club.

Distraught and desperate, Gavin finds help from an unlikely source: a secret romance book club made up of Nashville's top alpha men. With the help of their current read, a steamy Regency titled Courting the Countess, the guys coach Gavin on saving his marriage. But it'll take a lot more than flowery words and grand gestures for this hapless Romeo to find his inner hero and win back the trust of his wife.]]> 352 Lyssa Kay Adams 1984806106 Whitney 4
When I went into this book, I was crossing my fingers that the execution of it and the writing style matched how great the synopsis was. I'm so glad the book held up to how good it sounds, and it's definitely a memorable romance I'll be recommending!

My primary concern about this book was that since it's about a married couple with kids, I wouldn't be able to relate to it or enjoy it since they're several years ahead of me on the maturity scale. Attached to that, I was hoping this wouldn't become a women's fiction book about fixing a marriage with no steamy scenes. Quickly, both of my fears became obsolete. The fact that this book follows characters who are already in a relationship makes it so much more real. Rather than two characters living out a dolled up romance, this is about a relationship that's dead and both characters having to fight to reanimate it. It's different than anything I've ever read and was so interesting and realistic and human. In addition, the scenes of Gavin and Thea interacting with their kids were SO wholesome.

I jokingly told my friend while I was reading this that it reads like what a Nicholas Sparks book would be if Nicholas Sparks books were actually good. It talks about family issues--both in their current relationship and in their childhood trauma--while also being a cuddly romance about two adults rediscovering each other through honesty. This book was SO soft because Gavin was making an effort to be attentive to Thea's needs and insecurities, and watching them reblossom to one another was so heart warming and emotional.

The writing of this book is spectacular in all areas except one. I loved when the author would delve into the character's backstories and they way she wrote their dialogue and all the humor that was folded into the Bromance Book Club. I especially loved how this book was a mix of real-time action with scenes interspersed from the regency romance book the men were reading. The reason I took off .5 stars, however, was there were moments in this book where the characters would randomly get on a soapbox about feminism that didn't match the context of the conversation at all. There were seriously some paragraphs that read like an essay for a women and gender studies class rather than a romance book because it wasn't subtle at all. The men in the book club are self-aware about feminism and toxic masculinity, which is good, but it wasn't subtle at all and ended up sounding like fan service to other women reading the book because those random feminism rants didn't sound authentic to the men's voices at all. But a part of the book I did like is that Thea, the wife, was strident in her independence and her feminism, which I enjoyed way more than when the characters went off on tangents about the male gaze and the patriarchy.

But overall, this book was so addicting and enjoyable. It was quick and sweet but also the perfect amounts of meaningful and realistic. I love any romance book that takes the shininess away from relationships and delves into real human lives, and this book definitely fits that category. I can't wait to pick up a copy when it comes out!]]> 3.85 2019 The Bromance Book Club (Bromance Book Club, #1)
author: Lyssa Kay Adams
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.85
book published: 2019
rating: 4
read at: 2019/11/01
date added: 2019/11/01
shelves: favs-of-2019, feminism, made-me-cry, read-in-2019, romance, sent-from-pub, smutty
review:
4.5 stars

When I went into this book, I was crossing my fingers that the execution of it and the writing style matched how great the synopsis was. I'm so glad the book held up to how good it sounds, and it's definitely a memorable romance I'll be recommending!

My primary concern about this book was that since it's about a married couple with kids, I wouldn't be able to relate to it or enjoy it since they're several years ahead of me on the maturity scale. Attached to that, I was hoping this wouldn't become a women's fiction book about fixing a marriage with no steamy scenes. Quickly, both of my fears became obsolete. The fact that this book follows characters who are already in a relationship makes it so much more real. Rather than two characters living out a dolled up romance, this is about a relationship that's dead and both characters having to fight to reanimate it. It's different than anything I've ever read and was so interesting and realistic and human. In addition, the scenes of Gavin and Thea interacting with their kids were SO wholesome.

I jokingly told my friend while I was reading this that it reads like what a Nicholas Sparks book would be if Nicholas Sparks books were actually good. It talks about family issues--both in their current relationship and in their childhood trauma--while also being a cuddly romance about two adults rediscovering each other through honesty. This book was SO soft because Gavin was making an effort to be attentive to Thea's needs and insecurities, and watching them reblossom to one another was so heart warming and emotional.

The writing of this book is spectacular in all areas except one. I loved when the author would delve into the character's backstories and they way she wrote their dialogue and all the humor that was folded into the Bromance Book Club. I especially loved how this book was a mix of real-time action with scenes interspersed from the regency romance book the men were reading. The reason I took off .5 stars, however, was there were moments in this book where the characters would randomly get on a soapbox about feminism that didn't match the context of the conversation at all. There were seriously some paragraphs that read like an essay for a women and gender studies class rather than a romance book because it wasn't subtle at all. The men in the book club are self-aware about feminism and toxic masculinity, which is good, but it wasn't subtle at all and ended up sounding like fan service to other women reading the book because those random feminism rants didn't sound authentic to the men's voices at all. But a part of the book I did like is that Thea, the wife, was strident in her independence and her feminism, which I enjoyed way more than when the characters went off on tangents about the male gaze and the patriarchy.

But overall, this book was so addicting and enjoyable. It was quick and sweet but also the perfect amounts of meaningful and realistic. I love any romance book that takes the shininess away from relationships and delves into real human lives, and this book definitely fits that category. I can't wait to pick up a copy when it comes out!
]]> <![CDATA[The Shadow of the Wind (The Cemetery of Forgotten Books, #1)]]> 1232 487 Carlos Ruiz Zafón Whitney 5
This book is the perfect mix of dark brooding mystery with a wistful romance and a melancholy, bookish main character. There's so many elements that are effortlessly held afloat by the gorgeous, melodic, and yet digestible writing. I tabbed the everloving sunshine out of this book because there's so many astute and haunting lines; Zafón is truly a talented writer who I certainly see myself reading more from.

My only issue throughout the book was the way the mystery unfolded, but it was more of a user error because I took so long to read this book that between sittings, I would forget all the details about which character is who. Also, the perspective jumping from character to character could be a bit startling, but by the end of this book when I spent the last 50 pages sobbing and hugging my cat as I read on, I couldn't give a single damn about this minor storytelling blip.

Very few books earn the title of a masterpiece from me, but this is one of them. It takes you on a complete journey with characters so lifelike and human, eccentric and lovely, twisted and vile. I foresee this being a book that, when I pass it in a book shop, I will stroke its spine lovingly and remember the hours I spent cuddled with it, lost in its alternating gloomy and hopeful moods.]]> 4.26 2001 The Shadow of the Wind (The Cemetery of Forgotten Books, #1)
author: Carlos Ruiz Zafón
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.26
book published: 2001
rating: 5
read at: 2019/10/20
date added: 2019/10/20
shelves: read-in-2019, favorites, favs-of-2019, made-me-cry
review:
I loved this book so much that I feel like my tears should speak for themselves and I don't even need to review it. At the same time, I want to shout from the rooftops about how good this book is. So here I am.

This book is the perfect mix of dark brooding mystery with a wistful romance and a melancholy, bookish main character. There's so many elements that are effortlessly held afloat by the gorgeous, melodic, and yet digestible writing. I tabbed the everloving sunshine out of this book because there's so many astute and haunting lines; Zafón is truly a talented writer who I certainly see myself reading more from.

My only issue throughout the book was the way the mystery unfolded, but it was more of a user error because I took so long to read this book that between sittings, I would forget all the details about which character is who. Also, the perspective jumping from character to character could be a bit startling, but by the end of this book when I spent the last 50 pages sobbing and hugging my cat as I read on, I couldn't give a single damn about this minor storytelling blip.

Very few books earn the title of a masterpiece from me, but this is one of them. It takes you on a complete journey with characters so lifelike and human, eccentric and lovely, twisted and vile. I foresee this being a book that, when I pass it in a book shop, I will stroke its spine lovingly and remember the hours I spent cuddled with it, lost in its alternating gloomy and hopeful moods.
]]> Becoming 38746485
In her memoir, a work of deep reflection and mesmerizing storytelling, Michelle Obama invites readers into her world, chronicling the experiences that have shaped her—from her childhood on the South Side of Chicago to her years as an executive balancing the demands of motherhood and work, to her time spent at the world’s most famous address. With unerring honesty and lively wit, she describes her triumphs and her disappointments, both public and private, telling her full story as she has lived it—in her own words and on her own terms. Warm, wise, and revelatory, Becoming is the deeply personal reckoning of a woman of soul and substance who has steadily defied expectations—and whose story inspires us to do the same.]]> 426 Michelle Obama 1524763136 Whitney 5 4.42 2018 Becoming
author: Michelle Obama
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.42
book published: 2018
rating: 5
read at: 2019/08/12
date added: 2019/08/12
shelves: audiobook, feminism, made-me-cry, memoir, read-in-2019
review:
i’ve been crying for like 3 hours lol
]]> <![CDATA[Sorcery of Thorns (Sorcery of Thorns, #1)]]> 42201395
Then an act of sabotage releases the library’s most dangerous grimoire. Elisabeth’s desperate intervention implicates her in the crime, and she is torn from her home to face justice in the capital. With no one to turn to but her sworn enemy, the sorcerer Nathaniel Thorn, and his mysterious demonic servant, she finds herself entangled in a centuries-old conspiracy. Not only could the Great Libraries go up in flames, but the world along with them.

As her alliance with Nathaniel grows stronger, Elisabeth starts to question everything she’s been taught—about sorcerers, about the libraries she loves, even about herself. For Elisabeth has a power she has never guessed, and a future she could never have imagined.]]> 456 Margaret Rogerson 1481497618 Whitney 5
Don't let this book fool you and let you think it's just another author trying to capitalize off of having the word "Thorns" in the title to appear like a Sarah J. Maas knock-off. This is my favorite book of 2019, and Sarah J. Maas should be SHAKING right now. I read this author's debut book, An Enchantment of Ravens, and hated it, so I was skeptical going into it. But I knew within the first chapter of this book that it was going to be something else entirely on a whole different level, and it was. The glow up this author went through, in my opinion, is UNREAL.

The writing style? STUNNING
The characters? BRILLIANT
The romance? SOFT
The plot? I'M RUNNING OUT OF ADJECTIVES

When I say this book is unique, I don't mean it's ~special~ or it's ~interesting~. I mean there is literally not a single book out there that has done what this book has done. It has the cozy, library vibe of Harry Potter. It has the demonic tinge and 19th century flare of The Infernal Devices. It has the magical angst of a Sarah J. Maas book. And yet it did all of that together flawlessly, and better than all the previous series combined.

I adored the main character, who was a wallflower and quiet but also had a side of her that was fiercely loyal, honest, and willing to question injustice. I'm always a sucker for characters who fight to do good despite their circumstances, and Elisabeth definitely embodied that. I particularly loved her because SHE SUFFERS FROM PANIC ATTACKS!!! and yet is a smart, badass heroine. Also, she is described as being tall and that fact is very present in the book, and it made my tall girl heart soar!! Nathaniel was also a dynamic character who both filled the role of sassy, broody, BISEXUAL!!!!! love interest but was also an entire person on his own with a lineage and backstory that speaks a lot to his development. Them together was such an interesting pair and would I have complained if we got more smut? Absolutely not.


For the majority of this book, I did not have a single complaint. It was gripping with everyone scene flowing seamlessly to the next. I adored every side character. The writing was magnificent and awe-inspiring; flowery without being too self-important. The characters jumped off the page and had realistic moral complexities. Typing this review, I feel like my fingers can't move fast enough to list its good qualities. But the one part (literally, the single only thing) that I wish this book were stronger about was the development of the villain. The main character discovers very quickly who is behind all of the nefarious activities going on, and from there, it's a pretty straight line to preventing that person from succeeding in their great plans. Although I feel the magical and political conflict was developed well, I wish the villain's side of the story were better explained or maybe even reworked to be less generic because the evil they were stopping was massive, and yet it felt like the reason that evil was being provoked was something quite basic and irrelevant.

But despite that small grievance, I will be camping out on this author's doorstep for a sequel. I know it's a standalone, but these characters and this world have captured my heart and I refuse to let go. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I don't have a good enough parting line to leave you with other than this is going to be my obsession for a very long time and I will stop at nothing to insist you all read it immediately.]]> 4.03 2019 Sorcery of Thorns (Sorcery of Thorns, #1)
author: Margaret Rogerson
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.03
book published: 2019
rating: 5
read at: 2019/07/25
date added: 2019/07/25
shelves: favorites, favs-of-2019, from-library, lgbtqiap, made-me-cry, read-in-2019
review:
THIS BOOK SAID TALL GIRL RIGHTS!!!! THIS BOOK SAID BISEXUAL RIGHTS!!!!!

Don't let this book fool you and let you think it's just another author trying to capitalize off of having the word "Thorns" in the title to appear like a Sarah J. Maas knock-off. This is my favorite book of 2019, and Sarah J. Maas should be SHAKING right now. I read this author's debut book, An Enchantment of Ravens, and hated it, so I was skeptical going into it. But I knew within the first chapter of this book that it was going to be something else entirely on a whole different level, and it was. The glow up this author went through, in my opinion, is UNREAL.

The writing style? STUNNING
The characters? BRILLIANT
The romance? SOFT
The plot? I'M RUNNING OUT OF ADJECTIVES

When I say this book is unique, I don't mean it's ~special~ or it's ~interesting~. I mean there is literally not a single book out there that has done what this book has done. It has the cozy, library vibe of Harry Potter. It has the demonic tinge and 19th century flare of The Infernal Devices. It has the magical angst of a Sarah J. Maas book. And yet it did all of that together flawlessly, and better than all the previous series combined.

I adored the main character, who was a wallflower and quiet but also had a side of her that was fiercely loyal, honest, and willing to question injustice. I'm always a sucker for characters who fight to do good despite their circumstances, and Elisabeth definitely embodied that. I particularly loved her because SHE SUFFERS FROM PANIC ATTACKS!!! and yet is a smart, badass heroine. Also, she is described as being tall and that fact is very present in the book, and it made my tall girl heart soar!! Nathaniel was also a dynamic character who both filled the role of sassy, broody, BISEXUAL!!!!! love interest but was also an entire person on his own with a lineage and backstory that speaks a lot to his development. Them together was such an interesting pair and would I have complained if we got more smut? Absolutely not.


For the majority of this book, I did not have a single complaint. It was gripping with everyone scene flowing seamlessly to the next. I adored every side character. The writing was magnificent and awe-inspiring; flowery without being too self-important. The characters jumped off the page and had realistic moral complexities. Typing this review, I feel like my fingers can't move fast enough to list its good qualities. But the one part (literally, the single only thing) that I wish this book were stronger about was the development of the villain. The main character discovers very quickly who is behind all of the nefarious activities going on, and from there, it's a pretty straight line to preventing that person from succeeding in their great plans. Although I feel the magical and political conflict was developed well, I wish the villain's side of the story were better explained or maybe even reworked to be less generic because the evil they were stopping was massive, and yet it felt like the reason that evil was being provoked was something quite basic and irrelevant.

But despite that small grievance, I will be camping out on this author's doorstep for a sequel. I know it's a standalone, but these characters and this world have captured my heart and I refuse to let go. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I don't have a good enough parting line to leave you with other than this is going to be my obsession for a very long time and I will stop at nothing to insist you all read it immediately.
]]> Red, White & Royal Blue 41150487
As President Claremont kicks off her reelection bid, Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret relationship with Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations. What is worth the sacrifice? How do you do all the good you can do? And, most importantly, how will history remember you?]]> 448 Casey McQuiston 1250316774 Whitney 0 4.06 2019 Red, White & Royal Blue
author: Casey McQuiston
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.06
book published: 2019
rating: 0
read at: 2019/04/08
date added: 2019/06/26
shelves: sent-from-pub, favorites, favs-of-2019, lgbtqiap, made-me-cry, read-in-2019, romance, superior-enemies-to-lovers
review:

]]> <![CDATA[The Friend Zone (The Friend Zone, #1)]]> 41945163
Planning her best friend's wedding is bittersweet for Kristen—especially when she meets the best man, Josh Copeland. He's funny, sexy, never offended by her mile-wide streak of sarcasm, and always one chicken enchilada ahead of her hangry. Even her dog, Stuntman Mike, adores him. The only catch: Josh wants a big family someday. Kristen knows he'd be better off with someone else, but as their attraction grows, it's harder and harder to keep him at arm's length.

The Friend Zone will have you laughing one moment and grabbing for tissues the next as it tackles the realities of infertility and loss with wit, heart, and a lot of sass.]]> 372 Abby Jimenez Whitney 5
I don't even know where to start but this is the exact brand of romance that I'm obsessed with. The two main characters are snarky and sarcastic and headstrong, but it never comes off as cheesy or unrealistic. Their romance is fraught with tension and angst, but I was invested in their story. Their relationship was SOFT!!!! SO SOFT!!!!!!

This book follows a woman with uterine fibroids, and that representation and seeing how that both affected her having chronic pain and the way that Josh supported her was so, so beautifully done. I was laughing out loud for most of this book, and I cried my entire way through the end. There were some spotty lines every now and then with some distasteful possessiveness or jokes, but the characters and the angst in this really shone through.

If you are a fan of The Hating Game or Josh & Hazel's Guide to Not Dating or anything similar, you HAVE to pick this book up. I think it's my new favorite romance book, and it's getting a full five stars from me.

[spoilers removed]]]> 3.85 2019 The Friend Zone (The Friend Zone, #1)
author: Abby Jimenez
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.85
book published: 2019
rating: 5
read at: 2019/06/15
date added: 2019/06/15
shelves: superior-enemies-to-lovers, smutty, read-in-2019, romance, made-me-cry, favs-of-2019, favorites
review:
I've been crying for the last hour, everything hurts, and I'm SO glad I chose to pick up this book. It's in my top three favorites of the year.

I don't even know where to start but this is the exact brand of romance that I'm obsessed with. The two main characters are snarky and sarcastic and headstrong, but it never comes off as cheesy or unrealistic. Their romance is fraught with tension and angst, but I was invested in their story. Their relationship was SOFT!!!! SO SOFT!!!!!!

This book follows a woman with uterine fibroids, and that representation and seeing how that both affected her having chronic pain and the way that Josh supported her was so, so beautifully done. I was laughing out loud for most of this book, and I cried my entire way through the end. There were some spotty lines every now and then with some distasteful possessiveness or jokes, but the characters and the angst in this really shone through.

If you are a fan of The Hating Game or Josh & Hazel's Guide to Not Dating or anything similar, you HAVE to pick this book up. I think it's my new favorite romance book, and it's getting a full five stars from me.

[spoilers removed]
]]> Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3) 13188676
With Omega Point destroyed, Juliette doesn't know if the rebels, her friends, or even Adam are alive. But that won't keep her from trying to take down The Reestablishment once and for all. Now she must rely on Warner, the handsome commander of Sector 45. The one person she never thought she could trust. The same person who saved her life. He promises to help Juliette master her powers and save their dying world . . . but that's not all he wants with her.

The Shatter Me series is perfect for fans who crave action-packed young adult novels with tantalizing romance like Divergent by Veronica Roth, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, and Legend by Marie Lu. Tahereh Mafi has created a captivating and original story that combines the best of dystopian and paranormal and was praised by Publishers Weekly as "a gripping read from an author who's not afraid to take risks."

Don’t miss Restore Me, the electrifying fourth installment of this New York Times bestselling series, available now!]]> 408 Tahereh Mafi 006208559X Whitney 5
March 2018
What can I say. This is my favorite book of all time. Nothing brings me more strength than chapter thirty-nine. Nothing brings me more peace than chapter fifty-eight. I will never get over how every single chapter feels like a roller coaster. I will never not have to put this book down to catch my breath, to cry, to bring myself back to the real world. I've written enough essays about how much this series means to me so i'll stop being emo, but Juliette's growth and her resilience in this book is awe-inspiring. And so incredibly relevant and inspiring to my own mental health. When I annotated this book last September, I attacked the pages with blue highlighter to mark my favorite quotes from Juliette about staying strong, and there's one that makes me cry every time I read the book:

I've been here before, I tell myself. I've been lonelier than this, more hopeless than this, more desperate than this. I've been here before and I survived. I can get through this.

Last semester when I had a relapse of my anxiety that was so debilitating I nearly dropped out of school, I would tell this quote to myself. Rereading it after recovering from that point in my life just slammed into me because I'm so grateful for it. I'm going to cry again right now as I'm typing this just remembering how much this book touches the deepest corners of my heart and speaks so true to my own fears and the way my anxiety influences my life. I know Juliette's not real, but if she were, I would want to hug her and never let go. I want to hug this book and never let go.

I truly want to sob every time I remember this isn't the last book in the series anymore. There's 2 days left until Restore Me comes out and I'm so terrified but so, so thrilled. This series has healed me enough to last for a lifetime; I can't wait to see where we go from here.

September 2017
YES I already read this book once this year buT THEN RESTORE ME WAS ANNOUNCED AND DYLAN SENT ME A COPY TO ANNOTATE SO LET ME LIVE!!!!
So 50% of me reading this book was me being like "omg restore me prediction omg easter egg i didn't notice before omg new theory omg restore me foreshadowing," and the other 50% was me roasting warner and how much i still hate the ending of this book. a lot of people accuse me for putting shatter me on a pedestal but i wish i could mail this copy to anyone who says so because half of my annotations in the first half of this book are like "warner can fuck off instead of trying to get her to be in love with him" and "i hate when he does stuff like this." the boy is problematic, but what can i say.
I think this reread really just solidified how much I fucking love this book for Juliette's character growth. I had an entire highlighter color to highlight the quotes and scenes in which Juliette was particularly badass, and there were entire sections that I think are really undiscussed in the fandom that Juliette really shines through on her own. She has an entire conversation with Kenji about, "It's not about Adam or Warner, it's about me and finding my own strength," and I think it's one of the most important parts of the series and an absolute turning point. It makes me want to cry every time I reread the scene that she talks about, "I was locked up in an asylum for 264 days because I made myself a prisoner to my own thoughts and suffering, but I never even contemplated that my own strength could have broken me out of there with my bare hands." It's so sad, but so revolutionary for Juliette's character development. The way that she unendingly fights for her friends and her world, as well as how she is ALWAYS nice and considerate to people no matter the circumstance, is always really inspiring to me. She's such a good person even when she doesn't need to be, and her empathy and compassion is really something I envy.
I really won't be able to stand her suffering in Restore Me because she is such a precious child of mine that I want to protect.
And since this is the fifth time I've reread this and I think you understand the depths of my feelings for it already, I'll go. But EEEEEEEEPPP RESTORE ME

April 2017
This is the first time that I've read this and finished it, clutching it to my chest, thinking, "this book is flawless. there are zero issues. every action has a meticulously cultivated intention behind it. every single one of these characters deserves love and happiness. (except for adam, he can choke.)
when i reread unravel me i was scared that i was losing my passion for this series because it really didn't make me as emotional as it used to but i legit cried during this reread at least 10 times so i guess i just wasn't feelin unravel me at that moment because i was feelin this every goddamn second.

(i also hate rereading these because it makes me realize that half the fanfictions i have written are super out of character and i have so much wrong info that i forgot about. but oh well.)

March 2015
2nd reread (idk why i didn't re-review this after i reread it the first time)
what can i even say. it gets better every time i reread it, every time i notice new small details. (did you know delalieu has a mustache??????)
i can still point out its flaws and i still am really frustrated with the ending but at this point, i know this book so well that i can see it like it's a freakin movie. it's insane. i love juliette so so so so so so so so so so so so so much, holy shiitake mushrooms. okay. i don't know how to pull myself out of this slump coming on. jeez.

January 2014
I'm filming a review but it will not be up until a couple days after the release date

but guys, prepare yourselves.
anything feelings you had about anything are probably gonna do a 180.

August 2013
I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE IGNITE ME AND THE EYELASHES WOULD BE FLAMES
BUT THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER
even though i hate the color orange BUT THAT'S OKAY OH MY GODS THIS IS MORE THAN FANTASTIC

BUT

warner. why would she. warner. shes just making it seem like. warner.

i don't like this. i do like it but i dont like it
ja feel?

June 2013
WE HAVE A DESCRIPTION ADFHJASKHFLASJDHFLSDIAHFKIDUSHAFLIDAH

okay but you can totally tell that she and warner are gonna be together a lot, so it becomes clear that all the questions she's answered about there being a lot of intimate scenes proves it'll all be with warner unless adam becomes a third wheel which might suck even more.
BUT I NEEEEED THIS BOOK :(

April 2013
I haven't read Unravel Me yet but i'm already excited about this one. Don't judge me.]]> 4.45 2014 Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3)
author: Tahereh Mafi
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.45
book published: 2014
rating: 5
read at: 2018/03/04
date added: 2019/05/05
shelves: favorites, read-in-2017, made-me-cry, smutty, read-in-2018, read-in-2015, read-in-2014
review:
VIEW MY REVIEW:

March 2018
What can I say. This is my favorite book of all time. Nothing brings me more strength than chapter thirty-nine. Nothing brings me more peace than chapter fifty-eight. I will never get over how every single chapter feels like a roller coaster. I will never not have to put this book down to catch my breath, to cry, to bring myself back to the real world. I've written enough essays about how much this series means to me so i'll stop being emo, but Juliette's growth and her resilience in this book is awe-inspiring. And so incredibly relevant and inspiring to my own mental health. When I annotated this book last September, I attacked the pages with blue highlighter to mark my favorite quotes from Juliette about staying strong, and there's one that makes me cry every time I read the book:

I've been here before, I tell myself. I've been lonelier than this, more hopeless than this, more desperate than this. I've been here before and I survived. I can get through this.

Last semester when I had a relapse of my anxiety that was so debilitating I nearly dropped out of school, I would tell this quote to myself. Rereading it after recovering from that point in my life just slammed into me because I'm so grateful for it. I'm going to cry again right now as I'm typing this just remembering how much this book touches the deepest corners of my heart and speaks so true to my own fears and the way my anxiety influences my life. I know Juliette's not real, but if she were, I would want to hug her and never let go. I want to hug this book and never let go.

I truly want to sob every time I remember this isn't the last book in the series anymore. There's 2 days left until Restore Me comes out and I'm so terrified but so, so thrilled. This series has healed me enough to last for a lifetime; I can't wait to see where we go from here.

September 2017
YES I already read this book once this year buT THEN RESTORE ME WAS ANNOUNCED AND DYLAN SENT ME A COPY TO ANNOTATE SO LET ME LIVE!!!!
So 50% of me reading this book was me being like "omg restore me prediction omg easter egg i didn't notice before omg new theory omg restore me foreshadowing," and the other 50% was me roasting warner and how much i still hate the ending of this book. a lot of people accuse me for putting shatter me on a pedestal but i wish i could mail this copy to anyone who says so because half of my annotations in the first half of this book are like "warner can fuck off instead of trying to get her to be in love with him" and "i hate when he does stuff like this." the boy is problematic, but what can i say.
I think this reread really just solidified how much I fucking love this book for Juliette's character growth. I had an entire highlighter color to highlight the quotes and scenes in which Juliette was particularly badass, and there were entire sections that I think are really undiscussed in the fandom that Juliette really shines through on her own. She has an entire conversation with Kenji about, "It's not about Adam or Warner, it's about me and finding my own strength," and I think it's one of the most important parts of the series and an absolute turning point. It makes me want to cry every time I reread the scene that she talks about, "I was locked up in an asylum for 264 days because I made myself a prisoner to my own thoughts and suffering, but I never even contemplated that my own strength could have broken me out of there with my bare hands." It's so sad, but so revolutionary for Juliette's character development. The way that she unendingly fights for her friends and her world, as well as how she is ALWAYS nice and considerate to people no matter the circumstance, is always really inspiring to me. She's such a good person even when she doesn't need to be, and her empathy and compassion is really something I envy.
I really won't be able to stand her suffering in Restore Me because she is such a precious child of mine that I want to protect.
And since this is the fifth time I've reread this and I think you understand the depths of my feelings for it already, I'll go. But EEEEEEEEPPP RESTORE ME

April 2017
This is the first time that I've read this and finished it, clutching it to my chest, thinking, "this book is flawless. there are zero issues. every action has a meticulously cultivated intention behind it. every single one of these characters deserves love and happiness. (except for adam, he can choke.)
when i reread unravel me i was scared that i was losing my passion for this series because it really didn't make me as emotional as it used to but i legit cried during this reread at least 10 times so i guess i just wasn't feelin unravel me at that moment because i was feelin this every goddamn second.

(i also hate rereading these because it makes me realize that half the fanfictions i have written are super out of character and i have so much wrong info that i forgot about. but oh well.)

March 2015
2nd reread (idk why i didn't re-review this after i reread it the first time)
what can i even say. it gets better every time i reread it, every time i notice new small details. (did you know delalieu has a mustache??????)
i can still point out its flaws and i still am really frustrated with the ending but at this point, i know this book so well that i can see it like it's a freakin movie. it's insane. i love juliette so so so so so so so so so so so so so much, holy shiitake mushrooms. okay. i don't know how to pull myself out of this slump coming on. jeez.

January 2014
I'm filming a review but it will not be up until a couple days after the release date

but guys, prepare yourselves.
anything feelings you had about anything are probably gonna do a 180.

August 2013
I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE IGNITE ME AND THE EYELASHES WOULD BE FLAMES
BUT THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER
even though i hate the color orange BUT THAT'S OKAY OH MY GODS THIS IS MORE THAN FANTASTIC

BUT

warner. why would she. warner. shes just making it seem like. warner.

i don't like this. i do like it but i dont like it
ja feel?

June 2013
WE HAVE A DESCRIPTION ADFHJASKHFLASJDHFLSDIAHFKIDUSHAFLIDAH

okay but you can totally tell that she and warner are gonna be together a lot, so it becomes clear that all the questions she's answered about there being a lot of intimate scenes proves it'll all be with warner unless adam becomes a third wheel which might suck even more.
BUT I NEEEEED THIS BOOK :(

April 2013
I haven't read Unravel Me yet but i'm already excited about this one. Don't judge me.
]]> A Thousand Splendid Suns 128029
With the passing of time comes Taliban rule over Afghanistan, the streets of Kabul loud with the sound of gunfire and bombs, life a desperate struggle against starvation, brutality and fear, the women's endurance tested beyond their worst imaginings. Yet love can move people to act in unexpected ways, lead them to overcome the most daunting obstacles with a startling heroism. In the end it is love that triumphs over death and destruction.

A Thousand Splendid Suns is a portrait of a wounded country and a story of family and friendship, of an unforgiving time, an unlikely bond, and an indestructible love.]]> 372 Khaled Hosseini 1594489505 Whitney 5
This book doesn’t have the full, 100% impact of WOW THAT WAS AMAZING but it was pretty damn good. This is my favorite type of story that slowly weaves its threads and develops a narrative over generations, and just when you think all of the ends are tied up, it comes full circle and punches you in the gut all over again. This book is just as empowering as it is tragic, and Hosseini is just masterful at storytelling at this magnificent scope. The writing is gorgeous without being longwinded, the characters are so exquisitely fleshed out. It's also one of those rare books that's pretty melancholy throughout the duration of the book, but something about getting to the ending just really brought out the floodworks and i'm sitting here typing this review lookin like that one mindy kaling meme.

Hosseini's books have all proven tremendous and if you're intimidated but still want to try them out, I would recommend this on audio! This is one of the most bittersweet, infuriating, yet touching books I've ever read. Wowww. Maybe it does deserve the full five stars.]]> 4.44 2007 A Thousand Splendid Suns
author: Khaled Hosseini
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.44
book published: 2007
rating: 5
read at: 2018/06/04
date added: 2019/05/05
shelves: audiobook, favs-of-2018, made-me-cry, read-in-2018
review:
4.75 stars

This book doesn’t have the full, 100% impact of WOW THAT WAS AMAZING but it was pretty damn good. This is my favorite type of story that slowly weaves its threads and develops a narrative over generations, and just when you think all of the ends are tied up, it comes full circle and punches you in the gut all over again. This book is just as empowering as it is tragic, and Hosseini is just masterful at storytelling at this magnificent scope. The writing is gorgeous without being longwinded, the characters are so exquisitely fleshed out. It's also one of those rare books that's pretty melancholy throughout the duration of the book, but something about getting to the ending just really brought out the floodworks and i'm sitting here typing this review lookin like that one mindy kaling meme.

Hosseini's books have all proven tremendous and if you're intimidated but still want to try them out, I would recommend this on audio! This is one of the most bittersweet, infuriating, yet touching books I've ever read. Wowww. Maybe it does deserve the full five stars.
]]> <![CDATA[Bright We Burn (The Conqueror's Saga, #3)]]> 22817368 The conclusion to the AND I DARKEN series. Who will live? Who will die? And who will rule triumphant?

SOME LOVES HEAL
Haunted over the unknown fates of Nazira and Cyprian, Radu is called back to the new capital. Mehmed is building an empire, becoming the sultan his people need. But Mehmed has a secret: as emperor, he is more powerful than ever . . . and desperately lonely. Does this mean Radu can finally have more with Mehmed . . . and would he even want it?

SOME LOVES DESTROY
Lada's rule of absolute justice has created a Wallachia free of crime. But Lada won't rest until everyone knows that her country's borders are inviolable. Determined to send a message of defiance, she has the bodies of Mehmed's peace envoy delivered to him, leaving Radu and Mehmed with no choice. If Lada is allowed to continue, only death will prosper. They must go to war against the girl prince, who has truly become the dragon.

SOME LOVES NEVER END
Only by destroying everything that came before--including her relationships--can Lada truly build the country she wants. Radu fears that they are underestimating his sister's indomitable will. But Mehmed knows that he loves Lada. He understands her. She must lose to him so he can keep her safe. It is the only way . . . isn't it?

Claim the throne. Demand the crown. Rule the world.]]> 416 Kiersten White 0525644466 Whitney 5 4.27 2018 Bright We Burn (The Conqueror's Saga, #3)
author: Kiersten White
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.27
book published: 2018
rating: 5
read at: 2018/06/24
date added: 2019/05/05
shelves: favorites, favs-of-2018, made-me-cry, read-in-2018
review:

]]> Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4) 34992929 448 Tahereh Mafi 0062676369 Whitney 5
April 2019
I reread this to annotate it before Defy Me came out and still loved it. It was difficult to annotate because there's a new POV and new characters who i love a lot, so i definitely had a field day putting hearts in the margins. Also I love juliette ferrars so much. SO MUCH.

March 2019
[READ 5--fourth reread]
i reread this spontaneously in preparation for shadow me and that shit HURTED. im thirty times more confused than i was about this book's ending. but the things i enjoyed most about this reread was seeing warner's self-awareness develop and the distinction between different kinds of power and resilience, specifically how juliette has to compartmentalize and separately hone her physical strength and mental strength. loved it as always even though i'm so confused and stressed i could cry

June 2018
[READ 4--third reread]
I really have no updated review for this other than GODDAMN IT, IT STILL ENDED THE SAME WAY AND I NEED ANSWERS. thanks for attending my tedtalk.

March 2018
[READ 3--second reread]
After reading this for a third time and attending Tahereh's instagram livestream q&a, things just kinda settled into place. There's not much I need to add about how much I adore this story. And I have so much faith that the sad or questionable things that happen in this are meaningful and will be expanded upon in the next books. At this point, yeah it's not gonna be rainbows and butterflies during the year we wait for book 5, but I feel so much more eagerness than terror or dread. This story truly grasped characters I loved and somehow helped them grow yet experience new conflicts that are all realistic and complex and natural. I can't wait to see who narrates the next novella. I can't wait to find out more about her parents. [spoilers removed]

(btw warnette didn't break up they're both just dramatic as hell so everyone pls rest)
(also t confirmed warner and juliette will survive the series)
(also t is literally a goddess so why ya'll worried she won't do these characters right)

[READ 2--first reread]
UMMMM STILL PERFECT I'M SORRY!!!! I still have some issues mainly dealing with plot hole issues that'll probably get sorted out in later books [spoilers removed], but really any previous problems I had with characterization or pacing or descriptions fell away during this reread. Like I expected, the more it sinks in and feels like a real book, the better it gets. At this point, half of my review is just Shatter Me 5 predictions, so i'll try and only give my updated thoughts lmao:

-my new favorite scene in the entire series is drunk juliette scene
-warnette angst in this is sSO OOOO GOOD [spoilers removed]
-i think the best line to describe this book is that juliette is dealing with "the frustration of having so much power, so much power and feeling so utterly, completely powerless" (420-421). Once you realize that, NOTHING juliette does comes off as whiney.
-honestly unfollow me if you think warnette are whiney and weak in this book. catch me dead not supporting realistic, complex characters who aren't perfect 24/7 and still have two books of growth.
-i don't hate adam. i'm sorry. especially with how his power could save peoples' lives in the next books, and [spoilers removed] he might save the day.
-kenji is.... everything in this book. the BEST companion for juliette, being there for her and letting her rant and providing comic relief. at the same time, telling warner to get his shit together and being the cheerleader for him that he was for juliette in unravel me. you can see the loyalty and trust developing already and im EMO
-juliette's [spoilers removed] is so powerful and meaningful and my least favorite thing in books is when people [spoilers removed] but this book broke that trope and i couldn't be more proud and i'm so happy that she's happy and she feels the best about herself and now i can't believe [spoilers removed]
-my only complaint about this book is just the awkwardness of presence/consistency. lena is present in the book, but her only role is to be the ex-girlfriend and cause us to stereotypically start hating her, and she outs a trans character and is generally horrible and physically/verbally abusive for no real prevailing reason. the side characters from omega point we've learned to love weren't in the book except for literally like 4 mentions and maybe 2 lines of dialogue. some facts are only present in this book for one or two mentions when they should seemingly be more important, like preparing for important events or [spoilers removed] some parts, like warner's ring or dick tattoo, weren't even referenced at all like they were heavily in the previous trilogy.
-anyway back to good stuff
-CASTLE'S DEAD SONS /?? ?? ?/ 1! !!! ! !!!
-warnette sex scenes? two thumbs up
-things that will never be the same after this book: haircuts, bob dylan, bourbon, the word 'restore', taking anxiety medicine, the ocean, helicopters, lorde, and anyone named ella.

[READ 1--original review]
i'm gonna disclaim right now that when this arrived on my kindle i had such a horrendous panic attack that I thought I would have to delete my twitter and DNF this. I told my friends to spoil me how this ends because I knew I could never stand it otherwise. and i stand by the fact that i would not have made it through this book without knowing what happens. i was so terrified.

but anyway OH MY GOD
i don't have enough characters left in this review to make a list of all the things i loved. there were imperfect parts, and i was wary that i would have to pretend this never happened, but i can only repeat: OH MY GOD

update: fuck it, i'm gonna make a list.

-NAZEERA COULD CHOKE ME WITH HER BARE HANDS AND I WOULD THANK HER FOR IT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO BLESSED BY A FEMALE FRIENDSHIP. HER CHALLENGING KENJI ABOUT COVERING HER HAIR. HER FLIPPING HIM OFF. [spoilers removed] HER KINDNESS AND COMPANIONSHIP. I'M UTTERLY DECEASED
-warner and anxiety rep. i like.... it's too soon for me to talk about this seriously but i appreciate it more than words can articulate. my heart actually aches writing this because you can never understand how validating it is for my favorite character to be affected by the same disorder as me. i was floored.
-the diversity and discussion of political/social justice topics was [clap emoji] TOO GOOD. (BUT: *it would be a disservice to not mention that reviewers have pointed out the representation of some newer diverse characters is lacking, particularly how the Argentinian characters don't speak an accurate dialect of Spanish, and how the trans character was first outed so violently by a transphobic character.)
-JULIETTE MOTHERFUCKING FERRARS CAN CHOKE ME I LOVE HER SO MUCH OH MY GOD AN ICON, A QUEEN, A SUPERSTAR, MADAME SUPREME OF MY HEART!!! Her comment to Lena "You can call me supreme commander of North America" ASDFHLJK;DDJD
-james and warner talking to each other ohhhhhh my god
-kenji and warner talking to each other ooohhhhhhh my god
-basically anyone other than juliette having a conversation with warner
-also juliette's conversations with warner
-this discusses insecurity and youth and jealousy and regret and healing and ohijdso;kal;gjfdh IT'S SO GOOD
-WARNER SPEAKING ARABIC AND SPANISH IM....... OK (NO IM NOT)
-warner's inner monologue is......... everything. i mean that both literally because of its weight and meaningfulness, but also his sarcasm is perf
-[spoilers removed]
-this book takes place in march.... bitch im just sayin they better sort their shit out so i can get a HAPPY warner birthday scene
-warner and kenji talking about girls fiduhljiasdfkjnlkfgsas
-THAT!!!! FRIKIN!!!!! ENDING!!!!!! WHAAAATTTTTT JULIETTE FERRARS DID THAAATTTTTT

i need a nap ok bye

February 2018
Here's the notes I typed up for my second predictions video!



January 2018
So the sampler for Restore Me came out, giving us 31 beautiful pages of content. I filmed a reaction and theories video, but here's my notes about it.



So far, I would rate this five stars if I could. And that's not just because it's a Tahereh Mafi book--trust me, I was worried about this book. But everything so far is done really smartly and anything I'm upset about is almost entirely driven by the fact that it's not matching up with my expectations, which is an entirely unfounded criticism to make, so i'm withholding it and getting over it.
I NEED MOOOOOOOORE!!!!!

April 2017
Well. Here we are again. I missed you, my babies. It's overdue we meet again.

Today I woke up at 10 AM to my friend (hi Olivia) spam texting me my name over and over, and from that moment, I knew. There was Mafi news today. I was thinking maybe a novella. Maybe a rewrite from Warner's POV. Maybe one sequel. But three books added? I didn't hear anything in any of my classes today. I've cried on and off all day. I can't focus on my homework, can't do anything except refresh Twitter. Only five hours after learning the news about the new book, I filmed a reaction and my theories for the sequel, which totaled over an hour of footage.

I've been waiting so long for this. And since i've been so calm throughout the duration of this review, allow me to release my true feelings:

LANJF DKMLWQHJPF 9UWYOE82Y1HUOWJFNWD;LKJ[OEI2UJP982CY1C 070N4 89 YRP928 FEU JWDLJFLDSJHLIUQYNO8713YOR 89PWU0 DHSOUHEIHBLWJKN FLWHYES YES YE SY ESY ESY EYS ESY ESY ESYE SYE SY ESY ESYFHEWUFHIDSJ FOIWJFOEWH OIUYESEEEEESSSS YEEEEESSSSSSSS IM SO HAPPY IM SO HAPPY IM SO RHAPPY HIIM SHAO HPAPYP IOREJF JDLFK DWJOI2JPEIUH2PF9UHRNONFUE20PHF92EHFP9U2JNR3OJFENIUH VYE SU YES AJIEOIJWFLU HAOHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3 <3 <3]]> 4.14 2018 Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4)
author: Tahereh Mafi
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.14
book published: 2018
rating: 5
read at: 2019/04/02
date added: 2019/05/05
shelves: smutty, favorites, favs-of-2018, read-in-2018, made-me-cry
review:
TW: panic attacks, transphobia, mentions of racism, gun violence

April 2019
I reread this to annotate it before Defy Me came out and still loved it. It was difficult to annotate because there's a new POV and new characters who i love a lot, so i definitely had a field day putting hearts in the margins. Also I love juliette ferrars so much. SO MUCH.

March 2019
[READ 5--fourth reread]
i reread this spontaneously in preparation for shadow me and that shit HURTED. im thirty times more confused than i was about this book's ending. but the things i enjoyed most about this reread was seeing warner's self-awareness develop and the distinction between different kinds of power and resilience, specifically how juliette has to compartmentalize and separately hone her physical strength and mental strength. loved it as always even though i'm so confused and stressed i could cry

June 2018
[READ 4--third reread]
I really have no updated review for this other than GODDAMN IT, IT STILL ENDED THE SAME WAY AND I NEED ANSWERS. thanks for attending my tedtalk.

March 2018
[READ 3--second reread]
After reading this for a third time and attending Tahereh's instagram livestream q&a, things just kinda settled into place. There's not much I need to add about how much I adore this story. And I have so much faith that the sad or questionable things that happen in this are meaningful and will be expanded upon in the next books. At this point, yeah it's not gonna be rainbows and butterflies during the year we wait for book 5, but I feel so much more eagerness than terror or dread. This story truly grasped characters I loved and somehow helped them grow yet experience new conflicts that are all realistic and complex and natural. I can't wait to see who narrates the next novella. I can't wait to find out more about her parents. [spoilers removed]

(btw warnette didn't break up they're both just dramatic as hell so everyone pls rest)
(also t confirmed warner and juliette will survive the series)
(also t is literally a goddess so why ya'll worried she won't do these characters right)

[READ 2--first reread]
UMMMM STILL PERFECT I'M SORRY!!!! I still have some issues mainly dealing with plot hole issues that'll probably get sorted out in later books [spoilers removed], but really any previous problems I had with characterization or pacing or descriptions fell away during this reread. Like I expected, the more it sinks in and feels like a real book, the better it gets. At this point, half of my review is just Shatter Me 5 predictions, so i'll try and only give my updated thoughts lmao:

-my new favorite scene in the entire series is drunk juliette scene
-warnette angst in this is sSO OOOO GOOD [spoilers removed]
-i think the best line to describe this book is that juliette is dealing with "the frustration of having so much power, so much power and feeling so utterly, completely powerless" (420-421). Once you realize that, NOTHING juliette does comes off as whiney.
-honestly unfollow me if you think warnette are whiney and weak in this book. catch me dead not supporting realistic, complex characters who aren't perfect 24/7 and still have two books of growth.
-i don't hate adam. i'm sorry. especially with how his power could save peoples' lives in the next books, and [spoilers removed] he might save the day.
-kenji is.... everything in this book. the BEST companion for juliette, being there for her and letting her rant and providing comic relief. at the same time, telling warner to get his shit together and being the cheerleader for him that he was for juliette in unravel me. you can see the loyalty and trust developing already and im EMO
-juliette's [spoilers removed] is so powerful and meaningful and my least favorite thing in books is when people [spoilers removed] but this book broke that trope and i couldn't be more proud and i'm so happy that she's happy and she feels the best about herself and now i can't believe [spoilers removed]
-my only complaint about this book is just the awkwardness of presence/consistency. lena is present in the book, but her only role is to be the ex-girlfriend and cause us to stereotypically start hating her, and she outs a trans character and is generally horrible and physically/verbally abusive for no real prevailing reason. the side characters from omega point we've learned to love weren't in the book except for literally like 4 mentions and maybe 2 lines of dialogue. some facts are only present in this book for one or two mentions when they should seemingly be more important, like preparing for important events or [spoilers removed] some parts, like warner's ring or dick tattoo, weren't even referenced at all like they were heavily in the previous trilogy.
-anyway back to good stuff
-CASTLE'S DEAD SONS /?? ?? ?/ 1! !!! ! !!!
-warnette sex scenes? two thumbs up
-things that will never be the same after this book: haircuts, bob dylan, bourbon, the word 'restore', taking anxiety medicine, the ocean, helicopters, lorde, and anyone named ella.

[READ 1--original review]
i'm gonna disclaim right now that when this arrived on my kindle i had such a horrendous panic attack that I thought I would have to delete my twitter and DNF this. I told my friends to spoil me how this ends because I knew I could never stand it otherwise. and i stand by the fact that i would not have made it through this book without knowing what happens. i was so terrified.

but anyway OH MY GOD
i don't have enough characters left in this review to make a list of all the things i loved. there were imperfect parts, and i was wary that i would have to pretend this never happened, but i can only repeat: OH MY GOD

update: fuck it, i'm gonna make a list.

-NAZEERA COULD CHOKE ME WITH HER BARE HANDS AND I WOULD THANK HER FOR IT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO BLESSED BY A FEMALE FRIENDSHIP. HER CHALLENGING KENJI ABOUT COVERING HER HAIR. HER FLIPPING HIM OFF. [spoilers removed] HER KINDNESS AND COMPANIONSHIP. I'M UTTERLY DECEASED
-warner and anxiety rep. i like.... it's too soon for me to talk about this seriously but i appreciate it more than words can articulate. my heart actually aches writing this because you can never understand how validating it is for my favorite character to be affected by the same disorder as me. i was floored.
-the diversity and discussion of political/social justice topics was [clap emoji] TOO GOOD. (BUT: *it would be a disservice to not mention that reviewers have pointed out the representation of some newer diverse characters is lacking, particularly how the Argentinian characters don't speak an accurate dialect of Spanish, and how the trans character was first outed so violently by a transphobic character.)
-JULIETTE MOTHERFUCKING FERRARS CAN CHOKE ME I LOVE HER SO MUCH OH MY GOD AN ICON, A QUEEN, A SUPERSTAR, MADAME SUPREME OF MY HEART!!! Her comment to Lena "You can call me supreme commander of North America" ASDFHLJK;DDJD
-james and warner talking to each other ohhhhhh my god
-kenji and warner talking to each other ooohhhhhhh my god
-basically anyone other than juliette having a conversation with warner
-also juliette's conversations with warner
-this discusses insecurity and youth and jealousy and regret and healing and ohijdso;kal;gjfdh IT'S SO GOOD
-WARNER SPEAKING ARABIC AND SPANISH IM....... OK (NO IM NOT)
-warner's inner monologue is......... everything. i mean that both literally because of its weight and meaningfulness, but also his sarcasm is perf
-[spoilers removed]
-this book takes place in march.... bitch im just sayin they better sort their shit out so i can get a HAPPY warner birthday scene
-warner and kenji talking about girls fiduhljiasdfkjnlkfgsas
-THAT!!!! FRIKIN!!!!! ENDING!!!!!! WHAAAATTTTTT JULIETTE FERRARS DID THAAATTTTTT

i need a nap ok bye

February 2018
Here's the notes I typed up for my second predictions video!



January 2018
So the sampler for Restore Me came out, giving us 31 beautiful pages of content. I filmed a reaction and theories video, but here's my notes about it.



So far, I would rate this five stars if I could. And that's not just because it's a Tahereh Mafi book--trust me, I was worried about this book. But everything so far is done really smartly and anything I'm upset about is almost entirely driven by the fact that it's not matching up with my expectations, which is an entirely unfounded criticism to make, so i'm withholding it and getting over it.
I NEED MOOOOOOOORE!!!!!

April 2017
Well. Here we are again. I missed you, my babies. It's overdue we meet again.

Today I woke up at 10 AM to my friend (hi Olivia) spam texting me my name over and over, and from that moment, I knew. There was Mafi news today. I was thinking maybe a novella. Maybe a rewrite from Warner's POV. Maybe one sequel. But three books added? I didn't hear anything in any of my classes today. I've cried on and off all day. I can't focus on my homework, can't do anything except refresh Twitter. Only five hours after learning the news about the new book, I filmed a reaction and my theories for the sequel, which totaled over an hour of footage.

I've been waiting so long for this. And since i've been so calm throughout the duration of this review, allow me to release my true feelings:

LANJF DKMLWQHJPF 9UWYOE82Y1HUOWJFNWD;LKJ[OEI2UJP982CY1C 070N4 89 YRP928 FEU JWDLJFLDSJHLIUQYNO8713YOR 89PWU0 DHSOUHEIHBLWJKN FLWHYES YES YE SY ESY ESY EYS ESY ESY ESYE SYE SY ESY ESYFHEWUFHIDSJ FOIWJFOEWH OIUYESEEEEESSSS YEEEEESSSSSSSS IM SO HAPPY IM SO HAPPY IM SO RHAPPY HIIM SHAO HPAPYP IOREJF JDLFK DWJOI2JPEIUH2PF9UHRNONFUE20PHF92EHFP9U2JNR3OJFENIUH VYE SU YES AJIEOIJWFLU HAOHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3 <3 <3
]]> <![CDATA[The Right Swipe (Modern Love, #1)]]> 39863092 Alisha Rai returns with the first book in her sizzling new Modern Love series, in which two rival dating app creators find themselves at odds in the boardroom but in sync in the bedroom.

Rhiannon Hunter may have revolutionized romance in the digital world, but in real life she only swipes right on her career—and the occasional hookup. The cynical dating app creator controls her love life with a few key rules:

- Nude pics are by invitation only

- If someone stands you up, block them with extreme prejudice

- Protect your heart

Only there aren't any rules to govern her attraction to her newest match, former pro-football player Samson Lima. The sexy and seemingly sweet hunk woos her one magical night... and disappears.

Rhi thought she'd buried her hurt over Samson ghosting her, until he suddenly surfaces months later, still big, still beautiful—and in league with a business rival. He says he won't fumble their second chance, but she's wary. A temporary physical partnership is one thing, but a merger of hearts? Surely that’s too high a risk…]]> 387 Alisha Rai 0062878093 Whitney 5
My list of things I enjoyed about this book is vast compared to a nonexistent section of things I didn't enjoy. I'll try and write a brief (read: long) list of things I adored about this book.

The representation. This book is primarily about people and women of color, so the main character is a dark-skinned black woman, her best friend and assistant is an Indian lesbian, her other best friend and roommate is a thai-american plus sized woman with agoraphobic anxiety (!!!!!! i need a book about her), the love interest is Samoan, the love interest's two best friends are black, one of whom is a stay-at-home father. That's not even mentioning other side characters. So yeah, this book rocked. The way women of color uplifted and supported each other in this book was also so touching and empowering.

This book dealt with such a diverse and unique array of subplots and handled them all spectacularly. Even the trope of the love interest being a sports player had valuable discussion about mental health and retirement. This book also tackles women of color being in positions of power and how others perceive that, as well as the trust issues Rhiannon experiences.

It's hard to get me to genuinely care about side characters, but even the side characters in this book had full character arcs and contributed meaningfully to the story in their own wholesome ways. I hope this book gets developed into a long, drawn-out spinoff series because I loved all the side characters.

The romance in this..... OOF!!!!! And I'm talking both the angst, the pacing of it, the consent, the steamy scenes..... everything was spectacular. this is SOOO healthy but is never boring or robotic because of it. the characters are still sexy as hell and have genuine and cute and funny interactions alongside maintaining healthy boundaries and communication. LOVED rhi and samson together!

The only complaint that I had during the first half of this book--that Rhiannon's bitter and rock hard side seemed a lot more developed than her soft side--definitely went away by the last half of the book. It was so touching to see women championing other women and to see Rhi's growth in learning to trust and speak out against injustice.

This is NOT a book to miss and I cannot smash the preorder button on Amazon hard enough.]]> 3.62 2019 The Right Swipe (Modern Love, #1)
author: Alisha Rai
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.62
book published: 2019
rating: 5
read at: 2019/03/11
date added: 2019/03/11
shelves: romance, favorites, favs-of-2019, made-me-cry, read-in-2019, sent-from-pub, smutty
review:
I knew before I was even halfway into this book that it would be receiving five stars, and holy hell was I right. This book did not hold back any punches and it offered such a profound story about powerful women of color that also was so touching that I was weeping throughout the last 20% of this book.

My list of things I enjoyed about this book is vast compared to a nonexistent section of things I didn't enjoy. I'll try and write a brief (read: long) list of things I adored about this book.

The representation. This book is primarily about people and women of color, so the main character is a dark-skinned black woman, her best friend and assistant is an Indian lesbian, her other best friend and roommate is a thai-american plus sized woman with agoraphobic anxiety (!!!!!! i need a book about her), the love interest is Samoan, the love interest's two best friends are black, one of whom is a stay-at-home father. That's not even mentioning other side characters. So yeah, this book rocked. The way women of color uplifted and supported each other in this book was also so touching and empowering.

This book dealt with such a diverse and unique array of subplots and handled them all spectacularly. Even the trope of the love interest being a sports player had valuable discussion about mental health and retirement. This book also tackles women of color being in positions of power and how others perceive that, as well as the trust issues Rhiannon experiences.

It's hard to get me to genuinely care about side characters, but even the side characters in this book had full character arcs and contributed meaningfully to the story in their own wholesome ways. I hope this book gets developed into a long, drawn-out spinoff series because I loved all the side characters.

The romance in this..... OOF!!!!! And I'm talking both the angst, the pacing of it, the consent, the steamy scenes..... everything was spectacular. this is SOOO healthy but is never boring or robotic because of it. the characters are still sexy as hell and have genuine and cute and funny interactions alongside maintaining healthy boundaries and communication. LOVED rhi and samson together!

The only complaint that I had during the first half of this book--that Rhiannon's bitter and rock hard side seemed a lot more developed than her soft side--definitely went away by the last half of the book. It was so touching to see women championing other women and to see Rhi's growth in learning to trust and speak out against injustice.

This is NOT a book to miss and I cannot smash the preorder button on Amazon hard enough.
]]> Blue Is the Warmest Color 17465574 Blue is the Warmest Color is a graphic novel about growing up, falling in love, and coming out. Clementine is a junior in high school who seems average enough: she has friends, family, and the romantic attention of the boys in her school. When her openly gay best friend takes her out on the town, she wanders into a lesbian bar where she encounters Emma: a punkish, confident girl with blue hair. Their attraction is instant and electric, and Clementine find herself in a relationship that will test her friends, parents, and her own ideas about herself and her identity.]]> 156 Jul Maroh 1551525143 Whitney 5 3.89 2010 Blue Is the Warmest Color
author: Jul Maroh
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.89
book published: 2010
rating: 5
read at: 2016/08/23
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: read-in-2016, lgbtqiap, graphic-novels, made-me-cry, smutty, sapphic
review:
This book is a MASTERPIECE. I'm never particular about the art in graphic novels, but this is the most beautifully-illustrated graphic novel I have ever read. That, combined with the lesbian rep, the message, and this coming of age story full of angst and true love and tragedy gripped me until the very last page. I think this is the first graphic novel I've cried over. I cannot wait to track down the movie adaptation to watch it, because I'm sure it will be just as great. I cannot highly recommend this enough!
]]> I'll Give You the Sun 20820994
Years later, they are barely speaking. Something has happened to change the twins in different yet equally devastating ways... but then Jude meets an intriguing, irresistible boy and a mysterious new mentor. The early years are Noah's to tell; the later years are Jude's. But they each have only half the story, and if they can only find their way back to one another, they'll have a chance to remake their world.

This radiant, award-winning novel from the acclaimed author of The Sky Is Everywhere will leave you breathless and teary and laughing—often all at once.

Printz Award Winner Stonewall Honor Book.]]> 371 Jandy Nelson 0803734964 Whitney 5

VIDEO REVIEW HERE: ]]> 4.14 2014 I'll Give You the Sun
author: Jandy Nelson
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.14
book published: 2014
rating: 5
read at: 2014/07/06
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: favorites, lgbtqiap, read-in-2014, sent-from-pub, need-to-reread, made-me-cry
review:
Favorite book of 2014.


VIDEO REVIEW HERE:
]]> <![CDATA[This Star Won't Go Out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl]]> 17675031 The Fault in Our Stars to her.]]> 448 Esther Earl 0525426361 Whitney 5 4.16 2014 This Star Won't Go Out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl
author: Esther Earl
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.16
book published: 2014
rating: 5
read at: 2014/06/30
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: memoir, read-in-2014, made-me-cry
review:

]]> <![CDATA[Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter, #6)]]> 17347380 And yet…

As in all wars, life goes on. Sixth-year students learn to Apparate — and lose a few eyebrows in the process. The Weasley twins expand their business. Teenagers flirt and fight and fall in love. Classes are never straightforward, though Harry receives some extraordinary help from the mysterious Half-Blood Prince.

So it’s the home front that takes center stage in the multilayered sixth installment of the story of Harry Potter. Here at Hogwarts, Harry will search for the full and complex story of the boy who became Lord Voldemort — and thereby find what may be his only vulnerability.
--back cover]]> 652 J.K. Rowling 0545582997 Whitney 5 dont even look at me
i was expecting it and i still cried for like 30 minutes]]> 4.74 2005 Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter, #6)
author: J.K. Rowling
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.74
book published: 2005
rating: 5
read at: 2015/01/14
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: favorites, read-in-2015, childrens, made-me-cry
review:
i dont want to talk to anyone
dont even look at me
i was expecting it and i still cried for like 30 minutes
]]> Destroy Me (Shatter Me, #1.5) 13623150 Destroy Me, Warner is not that easy to get rid of...

Back at the base and recovering from his near-fatal wound, Warner must do everything in his power to keep his soldiers in check and suppress any mention of a rebellion in the sector. Still as obsessed with Juliette as ever, his first priority is to find her, bring her back, and dispose of Adam and Kenji, the two traitors who helped her escape. But when Warner’s father, The Supreme Commander of The Reestablishment, arrives to correct his son’s mistakes, it’s clear that he has much different plans for Juliette. Plans Warner simply cannot allow.

Set after Shatter Me and before its forthcoming sequel, Unravel Me, Destroy Me is a novella told from the perspective of Warner, the ruthless leader of Sector 45.]]> 111 Tahereh Mafi 0062208195 Whitney 5 3.96 2012 Destroy Me (Shatter Me, #1.5)
author: Tahereh Mafi
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.96
book published: 2012
rating: 5
read at: 2012/10/02
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: favorites, read-before-booktube, made-me-cry, novella
review:

]]> Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1) 13455782
The last time she did, it was an accident, but The Reestablishment locked her up for murder. No one knows why Juliette’s touch is fatal. As long as she doesn’t hurt anyone else, no one really cares. The world is too busy crumbling to pieces to pay attention to a 17-year-old girl. Diseases are destroying the population, food is hard to find, birds don’t fly anymore, and the clouds are the wrong color.

The Reestablishment said their way was the only way to fix things, so they threw Juliette in a cell. Now so many people are dead that the survivors are whispering war – and The Reestablishment has changed its mind. Maybe Juliette is more than a tortured soul stuffed into a poisonous body. Maybe she’s exactly what they need right now.

Juliette has to make a choice: Be a weapon. Or be a warrior.]]> 338 Tahereh Mafi 0062085506 Whitney 5 November 2017
I picked this back up on a whim because I've been dealing with anxiety lately and wanted to return to something comforting, so I decided to annotate one of my paperback copies. And I gotta say, It's.... weird returning to book one. Ignite Me is my favorite book of all time, and rereading that book is such an immersive experience that I always come out of feeling empowered. This book, on the other hand, holds such a special place in my heart because it's so relatable that it hurts. From Juliette's panic to her awkwardness to her resilience to the writing style, everything just hurts so good. There's parts of me that I see in Juliette, and there's parts of Juliette that I wish I could be better at. It's just such a refreshing and inspirational book to read because it's about someone who has been handed the shittiest circumstances and still looks for the best in others, perseveres, and demands what's right for her. It's about learning to trust and realizing your worth and giving people second chances. FUCK i'm about to cry typing this review. I love Juliette so much and I love Tahereh even more for sharing a story that touches the deepest corners of my heart. It's truly a life-changing book for me.

I’ve always read this as the story of a sad, self-conscious, self-loathing girl learning to see past obstacles to find love in herself and to let others in. however, i haven't read this since summer 2016, so my experience of reading this after the election & other #stressful political happenings opened my eyes to a completely new underside of the story. It had always been visible to me but was it never at the forefront, but this time I noticed it so vividly: this is also the story about a deeply hurt and angry girl who wants justice. People always criticize Juliette for being weak and annoying, especially in Unravel Me, but when she pushes back against her fear and stands up for herself, it's jaw-dropping. I envy her ability to know what's best for her and hold others' happiness and safety above her own even though she's gone through so much turmoil and deserves to be the person being looked out for. I used to think that Juliette gets suddenly really strong in Ignite Me, but reading this closely just showed how ready she was for that transformation. In my annotated editions, I use blue highlighter to mark parts where Juliette is really badass, and I didn't expect to use it a ton in this one, but it's everywhere. Juliette is a pure and fearless motherfucker. Even in book one she has powerful quotes like "I'm not yours to want," and it challenges all the ideas Warner tries to install into her head.

Which is where this book gets slippery. It's getting really, really difficult for me to reconcile Warner's actions in book one. I've definitely had others question how I ship Juliette with Warner after all he's put Juliette through in this book, and it's a valid concern. Every time I think about this book, i'm just kinda like “hahaha problematic warner but whatever.” But the more I reread, especially after ignite me came out, and ESPECIALLY during this particular reread, the more questions I have that I can only hope will now be explained in restore me. Don't get me wrong, this book still means so much to me because of juliette, but there’s no possible way for me to read this book with the mindset “omg i love warner!!” because he’s literally the villain and he does and says so many problematic, manipulative things. Honestly, I don't think it's fair to justify everything Warner does. While rereading this I was actually shocked at the amount of nasty things he says to her, that I obviously must have forgotten or blocked from my memory. Things like telling her she'll be miserable if she leaves him because no one else will want her, calling her a monster, professing his love for her even when she's clearly uncomfortable. In Unravel Me and Ignite Me he explains why he did these things and says that he regrets doing it, but... it seems to go so far in this book. I almost theorize that Tahereh must have written warner in book 1 to continue being a villain throughout the series, but there's way too many threads that suggest otherwise (ie. the introduction of the angst behind warner's mom, the fact that she felt "electricity" during their kiss, etc.)

I feel like I could write an essay about this topic: the inconsistencies of Warner's personality, and whether or not it's justifiable to forgive him for his "misjudgments" of Juliette. It's just so strange to me that Adam & Kenji can say "Warner is a lot of things, but he's not stupid," and yet Warner misreads her SO horribly. I mean, in the scene that he corners her and kisses her, he's literally saying "I want you to choose me" and "I love you" and later admits that he thought she was into it, EVEN THOUGH she literally said "You're sick/you're a monster/etc." and physically tried to punch him before he pinned her to the wall. If he's so smart, then why couldn't he tell that every time he talks to her, she's afraid and disgusted? Is it really that easy to mistake fear for excitement? Disgust for nerousness?

His behavior is so coercive and manipulative, and even though I know he was just trying to get a reaction out of her so that she would abandon her fear and finally use her power, there's not nearly enough of an apology as I would expect for things of this magnitude. The reason why I don't consider Warner an outright misogynist is an incredibly nuanced (and long) discussion, but the difference between him and, say, a Colleen Hoover character is that while Warner is saying and doing problematic things, he is also being cast in a problematic light. He is literally the villain of this story for putting her in those situations. Had Juliette been like "omg he's pinning me against a wall and threatening me, he's so dominating <3" then that would a lot more concerning. But I'm gonna have to reread Unravel Me as well to refresh my memory on how Warner addresses these actions and words because I really don't think he apologized or explained himself well enough, and I think it's totally valid for Juliette to absolutely roast him in Restore Me for treating her so shittily. My outrage about it is fresh though, and maybe Juliette comes to terms with his actions in a later book that I've forgotten about.

Also? Drag me, but Adam doesn't get enough credit in this book. I know we all love to shit on him--myself included--for the direction he goes in Ignite Me, but his place in her journey of self-discovery is vital. Imagine this book without Adam, without that glimmer of hope and self-love that he installs in her. He's the first person to reassure her of herself and humanize her. Sure, they're not right for each other in the end, but it's not okay to dismiss their entire relationship as bullshit, because he DID help her see herself as something other than a monster, and I can't even imagine what this series would have been like if it were only Juliette brooding alone in her room, dreading Warner, stuck there until Warner was forced to tell her the truth about his mom or until Anderson showed up to ask what was taking so long. Idk. There's so many important quotes from Adam in this book. Sometimes it falls into the type of narrative that feels like "ugghhhh, she needed a boy to 'fix' her," but in reality, sometimes your friends have your back and reassure you of your worth, and sometimes your friends are more than your friends. I could make a LIST of all the positive things Adam said to Juliette in this book that caused her confidence to sky rocket, whereas almost everything Warner said installed panic and fear in her.

So clearly I have conflicting feelings, but none of them intercede with the fact that I still cannot get over how much I adore this story. Sure, Warner sucks and I unironically wrote "ew" by half the things he says to her in this book, but watching Juliette's transformation and relating to her insecurities and thought process, as well as remembering how much I adored this book as a young teen, it's always going to be a priceless experience to me.

July 2016
I think this is my fourth or fifth time rereading it? I didn't plan to but my aunt showed interest in reading it and I jokingly offered to read it out loud to her, and she said yes. Thus, I proceeded to read this entire book out loud to her. And it was worth it.
And what can I say? I love this book. I fucking love Juliette. Reading it out loud made me slightly more aware of how lame her stream of consciousness can sound, and how the metaphors become exhausting after a while. But I've sort of accepted that book one is always going to be slightly uncomfortable to reread just because of the fact that so much has changed by book 3 that this is almost cringe-worthy. There's so much set-up for world building that never occurs. Honestly this book is more of a 3 star rating, but I can't bring myself to lower it. It was due for a reread since it had been just about two years, and, like always, I noted several things that I had missed or forgotten since I read it last!

August 2015
I'm not quite sure why i've never uploaded a review on goodreads for this book. I mean, I feel like it kind of goes without saying how I feel about it but ya know. This is my favorite series. If you're sick of dystopian and never want to read one ever again, make an exception for this one. Ignore the fact that the entire fandom (and myself) has probably majorly spoiled you. But this book. Holy shit. The writing. YES. The characters. YES. The plot. YES. The range of emotions. YES. I could tell you the things wrong with it, but no book is perfect. But if you want a book with characters that you will not be able to get out of your head and with a plot that will have you reading an entire trilogy in one sitting, this book is your friend.

reread: July 2014]]> 3.72 2011 Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1)
author: Tahereh Mafi
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.72
book published: 2011
rating: 5
read at: 2017/11/15
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: favorites, read-in-2016, read-before-booktube, read-in-2017, read-in-2015, read-in-2014, made-me-cry
review:
November 2017
I picked this back up on a whim because I've been dealing with anxiety lately and wanted to return to something comforting, so I decided to annotate one of my paperback copies. And I gotta say, It's.... weird returning to book one. Ignite Me is my favorite book of all time, and rereading that book is such an immersive experience that I always come out of feeling empowered. This book, on the other hand, holds such a special place in my heart because it's so relatable that it hurts. From Juliette's panic to her awkwardness to her resilience to the writing style, everything just hurts so good. There's parts of me that I see in Juliette, and there's parts of Juliette that I wish I could be better at. It's just such a refreshing and inspirational book to read because it's about someone who has been handed the shittiest circumstances and still looks for the best in others, perseveres, and demands what's right for her. It's about learning to trust and realizing your worth and giving people second chances. FUCK i'm about to cry typing this review. I love Juliette so much and I love Tahereh even more for sharing a story that touches the deepest corners of my heart. It's truly a life-changing book for me.

I’ve always read this as the story of a sad, self-conscious, self-loathing girl learning to see past obstacles to find love in herself and to let others in. however, i haven't read this since summer 2016, so my experience of reading this after the election & other #stressful political happenings opened my eyes to a completely new underside of the story. It had always been visible to me but was it never at the forefront, but this time I noticed it so vividly: this is also the story about a deeply hurt and angry girl who wants justice. People always criticize Juliette for being weak and annoying, especially in Unravel Me, but when she pushes back against her fear and stands up for herself, it's jaw-dropping. I envy her ability to know what's best for her and hold others' happiness and safety above her own even though she's gone through so much turmoil and deserves to be the person being looked out for. I used to think that Juliette gets suddenly really strong in Ignite Me, but reading this closely just showed how ready she was for that transformation. In my annotated editions, I use blue highlighter to mark parts where Juliette is really badass, and I didn't expect to use it a ton in this one, but it's everywhere. Juliette is a pure and fearless motherfucker. Even in book one she has powerful quotes like "I'm not yours to want," and it challenges all the ideas Warner tries to install into her head.

Which is where this book gets slippery. It's getting really, really difficult for me to reconcile Warner's actions in book one. I've definitely had others question how I ship Juliette with Warner after all he's put Juliette through in this book, and it's a valid concern. Every time I think about this book, i'm just kinda like “hahaha problematic warner but whatever.” But the more I reread, especially after ignite me came out, and ESPECIALLY during this particular reread, the more questions I have that I can only hope will now be explained in restore me. Don't get me wrong, this book still means so much to me because of juliette, but there’s no possible way for me to read this book with the mindset “omg i love warner!!” because he’s literally the villain and he does and says so many problematic, manipulative things. Honestly, I don't think it's fair to justify everything Warner does. While rereading this I was actually shocked at the amount of nasty things he says to her, that I obviously must have forgotten or blocked from my memory. Things like telling her she'll be miserable if she leaves him because no one else will want her, calling her a monster, professing his love for her even when she's clearly uncomfortable. In Unravel Me and Ignite Me he explains why he did these things and says that he regrets doing it, but... it seems to go so far in this book. I almost theorize that Tahereh must have written warner in book 1 to continue being a villain throughout the series, but there's way too many threads that suggest otherwise (ie. the introduction of the angst behind warner's mom, the fact that she felt "electricity" during their kiss, etc.)

I feel like I could write an essay about this topic: the inconsistencies of Warner's personality, and whether or not it's justifiable to forgive him for his "misjudgments" of Juliette. It's just so strange to me that Adam & Kenji can say "Warner is a lot of things, but he's not stupid," and yet Warner misreads her SO horribly. I mean, in the scene that he corners her and kisses her, he's literally saying "I want you to choose me" and "I love you" and later admits that he thought she was into it, EVEN THOUGH she literally said "You're sick/you're a monster/etc." and physically tried to punch him before he pinned her to the wall. If he's so smart, then why couldn't he tell that every time he talks to her, she's afraid and disgusted? Is it really that easy to mistake fear for excitement? Disgust for nerousness?

His behavior is so coercive and manipulative, and even though I know he was just trying to get a reaction out of her so that she would abandon her fear and finally use her power, there's not nearly enough of an apology as I would expect for things of this magnitude. The reason why I don't consider Warner an outright misogynist is an incredibly nuanced (and long) discussion, but the difference between him and, say, a Colleen Hoover character is that while Warner is saying and doing problematic things, he is also being cast in a problematic light. He is literally the villain of this story for putting her in those situations. Had Juliette been like "omg he's pinning me against a wall and threatening me, he's so dominating <3" then that would a lot more concerning. But I'm gonna have to reread Unravel Me as well to refresh my memory on how Warner addresses these actions and words because I really don't think he apologized or explained himself well enough, and I think it's totally valid for Juliette to absolutely roast him in Restore Me for treating her so shittily. My outrage about it is fresh though, and maybe Juliette comes to terms with his actions in a later book that I've forgotten about.

Also? Drag me, but Adam doesn't get enough credit in this book. I know we all love to shit on him--myself included--for the direction he goes in Ignite Me, but his place in her journey of self-discovery is vital. Imagine this book without Adam, without that glimmer of hope and self-love that he installs in her. He's the first person to reassure her of herself and humanize her. Sure, they're not right for each other in the end, but it's not okay to dismiss their entire relationship as bullshit, because he DID help her see herself as something other than a monster, and I can't even imagine what this series would have been like if it were only Juliette brooding alone in her room, dreading Warner, stuck there until Warner was forced to tell her the truth about his mom or until Anderson showed up to ask what was taking so long. Idk. There's so many important quotes from Adam in this book. Sometimes it falls into the type of narrative that feels like "ugghhhh, she needed a boy to 'fix' her," but in reality, sometimes your friends have your back and reassure you of your worth, and sometimes your friends are more than your friends. I could make a LIST of all the positive things Adam said to Juliette in this book that caused her confidence to sky rocket, whereas almost everything Warner said installed panic and fear in her.

So clearly I have conflicting feelings, but none of them intercede with the fact that I still cannot get over how much I adore this story. Sure, Warner sucks and I unironically wrote "ew" by half the things he says to her in this book, but watching Juliette's transformation and relating to her insecurities and thought process, as well as remembering how much I adored this book as a young teen, it's always going to be a priceless experience to me.

July 2016
I think this is my fourth or fifth time rereading it? I didn't plan to but my aunt showed interest in reading it and I jokingly offered to read it out loud to her, and she said yes. Thus, I proceeded to read this entire book out loud to her. And it was worth it.
And what can I say? I love this book. I fucking love Juliette. Reading it out loud made me slightly more aware of how lame her stream of consciousness can sound, and how the metaphors become exhausting after a while. But I've sort of accepted that book one is always going to be slightly uncomfortable to reread just because of the fact that so much has changed by book 3 that this is almost cringe-worthy. There's so much set-up for world building that never occurs. Honestly this book is more of a 3 star rating, but I can't bring myself to lower it. It was due for a reread since it had been just about two years, and, like always, I noted several things that I had missed or forgotten since I read it last!

August 2015
I'm not quite sure why i've never uploaded a review on goodreads for this book. I mean, I feel like it kind of goes without saying how I feel about it but ya know. This is my favorite series. If you're sick of dystopian and never want to read one ever again, make an exception for this one. Ignore the fact that the entire fandom (and myself) has probably majorly spoiled you. But this book. Holy shit. The writing. YES. The characters. YES. The plot. YES. The range of emotions. YES. I could tell you the things wrong with it, but no book is perfect. But if you want a book with characters that you will not be able to get out of your head and with a plot that will have you reading an entire trilogy in one sitting, this book is your friend.

reread: July 2014
]]> Looking for Alaska 99561 Before. Miles “Pudge” Halter is done with his safe life at home. His whole life has been one big non-event, and his obsession with famous last words has only made him crave “the Great Perhaps” even more (Francois Rabelais, poet). He heads off to the sometimes crazy and anything-but-boring world of Culver Creek Boarding School, and his life becomes the opposite of safe. Because down the hall is Alaska Young. The gorgeous, clever, funny, sexy, self-destructive, screwed up, and utterly fascinating Alaska Young. She is an event unto herself. She pulls Pudge into her world, launches him into the Great Perhaps, and steals his heart. Then. . . .
After. Nothing is ever the same.]]> 221 John Green 1435249151 Whitney 5 3.97 2005 Looking for Alaska
author: John Green
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.97
book published: 2005
rating: 5
read at: 2012/01/01
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: read-before-booktube, need-to-reread, made-me-cry
review:

]]> <![CDATA[The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo]]> 32620332
Monique is not exactly on top of the world. Her husband has left her, and her professional life is going nowhere. Regardless of why Evelyn has selected her to write her biography, Monique is determined to use this opportunity to jumpstart her career.

Summoned to Evelyn’s luxurious apartment, Monique listens in fascination as the actress tells her story. From making her way to Los Angeles in the 1950s to her decision to leave show business in the ‘80s, and, of course, the seven husbands along the way, Evelyn unspools a tale of ruthless ambition, unexpected friendship, and a great forbidden love. Monique begins to feel a very real connection to the legendary star, but as Evelyn’s story nears its conclusion, it becomes clear that her life intersects with Monique’s own in tragic and irreversible ways.]]> 389 Taylor Jenkins Reid 1501139231 Whitney 5
Don't read this book on your period. Just don't. Take my advice. Spare yourself the grief and agony.

Every time I closed this book and my brain snapped back to the present, it took me a couple of seconds to remember that Evelyn isn’t a real person. A fictional biography is such a genius idea, and it was done so expertly. I have zero interest in movies or Hollywood (cite literally any tweet about me hating watching movies and not caring about actors), but this book and the setting and characters enchanted me. I wanted to turn on La Vie En Rose in the background as I read it just to get in the Mood.

This is the first book I’ve read in a while where I sat and read without touching my phone for 2+ hours, praying that time would pass slower so I could fit in more pages before I had to go to sleep. Part of why I was so addicted is because the writing of this book just demands attention. It’s flowing almost to the point of conversational, more like a memoir than a novel. And although I flew through the prose, part of me questions whether the flashback sections resemble the tone and voice of an older Hollywood star. A lot of the lingo and style of relating a story seemed modern, and maybe I’m just overthinking, but it took away a bit from the authenticity of the story for me. Maybe it would have worked better being told in third person as if it were Monique's writing, but something about the voice of Evelyn's memories didn't sit right with me.

I like how this book uses the perspective of hindsight. Evelyn using her wisdom to call out when she was being mistreated and all the unjust and toxic things that occurred to her constructed a powerful narrative. I applaud this book talking about feminism, abusive relationships, abortions, and bisexual erasure, among plenty other things. I can see why it's highly praised in that respect. The discussion of moral greyness and the corruption and scheming of Hollywood and fame and unabashed conceit and fame was also fascinating. I love the light in which it was painted. It was very take it or leave it, which was so different because usually, books do the most to try and convince you of a character being starkly good or bad. This book let you assume whatever you wanted to about the characters, which I respected.

Lastly, the most satisfying thing about this book is watching the growth of Monique alongside Evelyn telling her story. Being honest, I didn't think I was going to like Evelyn at first, but I realized the same quality that makes her a rude and off-putting character also makes her powerful and memorable. I grew to love her snark and confrontational dialogue, even though I would likely be terrified of her in person.

It's hard to wrap up this review because I want to say that I loved it as much as everyone else, but I can't quite put my finger on why it wasn't a full five stars. Still, I highly recommend it.]]> 4.39 2017 The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo
author: Taylor Jenkins Reid
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.39
book published: 2017
rating: 5
read at: 2018/09/06
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: feminism, lgbtqiap, made-me-cry, read-in-2018, sapphic
review:
4.5 stars

Don't read this book on your period. Just don't. Take my advice. Spare yourself the grief and agony.

Every time I closed this book and my brain snapped back to the present, it took me a couple of seconds to remember that Evelyn isn’t a real person. A fictional biography is such a genius idea, and it was done so expertly. I have zero interest in movies or Hollywood (cite literally any tweet about me hating watching movies and not caring about actors), but this book and the setting and characters enchanted me. I wanted to turn on La Vie En Rose in the background as I read it just to get in the Mood.

This is the first book I’ve read in a while where I sat and read without touching my phone for 2+ hours, praying that time would pass slower so I could fit in more pages before I had to go to sleep. Part of why I was so addicted is because the writing of this book just demands attention. It’s flowing almost to the point of conversational, more like a memoir than a novel. And although I flew through the prose, part of me questions whether the flashback sections resemble the tone and voice of an older Hollywood star. A lot of the lingo and style of relating a story seemed modern, and maybe I’m just overthinking, but it took away a bit from the authenticity of the story for me. Maybe it would have worked better being told in third person as if it were Monique's writing, but something about the voice of Evelyn's memories didn't sit right with me.

I like how this book uses the perspective of hindsight. Evelyn using her wisdom to call out when she was being mistreated and all the unjust and toxic things that occurred to her constructed a powerful narrative. I applaud this book talking about feminism, abusive relationships, abortions, and bisexual erasure, among plenty other things. I can see why it's highly praised in that respect. The discussion of moral greyness and the corruption and scheming of Hollywood and fame and unabashed conceit and fame was also fascinating. I love the light in which it was painted. It was very take it or leave it, which was so different because usually, books do the most to try and convince you of a character being starkly good or bad. This book let you assume whatever you wanted to about the characters, which I respected.

Lastly, the most satisfying thing about this book is watching the growth of Monique alongside Evelyn telling her story. Being honest, I didn't think I was going to like Evelyn at first, but I realized the same quality that makes her a rude and off-putting character also makes her powerful and memorable. I grew to love her snark and confrontational dialogue, even though I would likely be terrified of her in person.

It's hard to wrap up this review because I want to say that I loved it as much as everyone else, but I can't quite put my finger on why it wasn't a full five stars. Still, I highly recommend it.
]]> The Female of the Species 25812109
Alex Craft knows how to kill someone. And she doesn’t feel bad about it.

Three years ago, when her older sister, Anna, was murdered and the killer walked free, Alex uncaged the language she knows best—the language of violence. While her own crime goes unpunished, Alex knows she can’t be trusted among other people. Not with Jack, the star athlete who wants to really know her but still feels guilty over the role he played the night Anna’s body was discovered. And not with Peekay, the preacher’s kid with a defiant streak who befriends Alex while they volunteer at an animal shelter. Not anyone.

As their senior year unfolds, Alex’s darker nature breaks out, setting these three teens on a collision course that will change their lives forever.]]> 368 Mindy McGinnis Whitney 5
YES

Alex was so interesting to read about. Her inner monologue. Her tormented life. I dug it so hard. I loved that this took place in 3 different perspectives because they all added something different to the story that by the end of the book tied together so well. This book is power. I loved it.

If anything, I'm wary about the realisticness of the events surrounding the rapes in this book. Especially in a book about really lewd high schoolers that don't seem to be afraid to harass women, I was surprised by the author's decision to have the rapists in this book be depicted as serial rapists or drug addicts. I feel like the impact would be a lot more stark if she stuck to the fact that a lot of sexual assault happens to people you're friends with or people you know. This way, the ending wouldn't feel so..... unrealistic. Hyperbolized. Idk. I think from that angle, it could have added a lot more impact.

Regardless, I think this book packs a punch and I read it in less than 12 hours. It's different than most YA contemporary that you'll read.]]> 4.14 2016 The Female of the Species
author: Mindy McGinnis
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.14
book published: 2016
rating: 5
read at: 2017/07/18
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: feminism, read-in-2017, favs-of-2017, made-me-cry
review:
asdfghjkl;

YES

Alex was so interesting to read about. Her inner monologue. Her tormented life. I dug it so hard. I loved that this took place in 3 different perspectives because they all added something different to the story that by the end of the book tied together so well. This book is power. I loved it.

If anything, I'm wary about the realisticness of the events surrounding the rapes in this book. Especially in a book about really lewd high schoolers that don't seem to be afraid to harass women, I was surprised by the author's decision to have the rapists in this book be depicted as serial rapists or drug addicts. I feel like the impact would be a lot more stark if she stuck to the fact that a lot of sexual assault happens to people you're friends with or people you know. This way, the ending wouldn't feel so..... unrealistic. Hyperbolized. Idk. I think from that angle, it could have added a lot more impact.

Regardless, I think this book packs a punch and I read it in less than 12 hours. It's different than most YA contemporary that you'll read.
]]> <![CDATA[, said the shotgun to the head.]]> 6549 Have not been born yet

They are waiting quietly

For their past to die

please give blood

Here is the account of a man so ravished by a kiss that it distorts his highest and lowest frequencies of understanding into an Incongruent mean of babble and brilliance...

]]> 192 Saul Williams 0743470796 Whitney 5 4.22 2003 , said the shotgun to the head.
author: Saul Williams
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.22
book published: 2003
rating: 5
read at: 2016/12/16
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: poetry, need-to-reread, made-me-cry
review:
Holy shit. I'm crying just typing this review even though I finished the book like 10 minutes ago. This is the book that reignited my love for poetry. Although only half this book made sense to me, and typically that would infuriate me, this was just absolutely GORGEOUS. Williams had me from page one, and in this book he criticized the patriarchy, war, religion, and this was generally just a roller coaster ride that brought me to tears. It was so raw and it was centered on a love story, but grew so much in these 182 pages. Highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend and i'm going to go read his other two poetry books that I own right now.
]]> The Great Gatsby 27451 216 F. Scott Fitzgerald 0684801523 Whitney 5 original rating: 4 stars
Original review:

So I read this a couple weeks ago but the more I think about it the better it gets so I bumped it up a star just because I think I was too critical the first time

EDIT: 2/13
I finished this for school and enjoyed it so much better the second time. New rating- 5 stars]]> 3.89 1925 The Great Gatsby
author: F. Scott Fitzgerald
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.89
book published: 1925
rating: 5
read at: 2014/02/13
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: favorites, for-class, read-in-2014, need-to-reread, made-me-cry
review:
First read: 7/15/2013
original rating: 4 stars
Original review:

So I read this a couple weeks ago but the more I think about it the better it gets so I bumped it up a star just because I think I was too critical the first time

EDIT: 2/13
I finished this for school and enjoyed it so much better the second time. New rating- 5 stars
]]> Golden Boy 15803173 347 Abigail Tarttelin 1476705801 Whitney 5 4.08 2013 Golden Boy
author: Abigail Tarttelin
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.08
book published: 2013
rating: 5
read at: 2016/09/17
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: read-in-2016, lgbtqiap, feminism, made-me-cry
review:
This is one of my new favorite books of all time. I am astounded by it, and I started crying as soon as I began typing this review. This topic is so important and I learned so much throughout this book, and it was told in such a gripping and tragic way that I was nearly sobbing throughout the last half of this book. It deals with seriously tragic and infuriating topics, so trigger warning for rape. this is an unforgettable read and I recommend it to anyone who breathes!
]]> Humans of New York: Stories 24019187 Humans of New York. In the first three years, his audience steadily grew from a few hundred to over one million. In 2013, his book Humans of New York, based on that blog, was published and immediately catapulted to the top of the NY Times Bestseller List. It has appeared on that list for over twenty-five weeks to date. The appeal of HONY has been so great that in the course of the next year Brandon's following increased tenfold to, now, over 12 million followers on Facebook. In the summer of 2014, the UN chose him to travel around the world on a goodwill mission that had followers meeting people from Iraq to Ukraine to Mexico City via the photos he took.
Now, Brandon is back with the follow up to Humans of New York that his loyal followers have been waiting for: Humans of New York: Stories. Ever since Brandon began interviewing people on the streets of NY, the dialogue he's had with them has increasingly become as in-depth, intriguing, and moving as the photos themselves. Humans of New York: Stories presents a whole new group of humans, complete with stories that delve deeper and surprise with greater candour.]]> 428 Brandon Stanton 1250058902 Whitney 5 read-in-2016, made-me-cry
I genuinely did not expect that I would read this all in one sitting. It's a huge book, and filled with hundreds of pictures and captions. I am just obsessed with HONY because it is SO fascinating. The diversity of voices and people is just so refreshing and I could honestly read and look at them for HOURS. Some were funny and brought a smile to my face, others were so upsetting they brought tears to my eyes, and others were just very thought-provoking. Reading things like these makes me empathize with complete strangers, and it's actually sort of comforting for someone you've never even met to be describing a feeling that you've known so acutely but haven't been able to put into words. I enjoyed this book more than Brandon's previous one and I HIGHLY recommend it if you're a fan of HONY :)]]> 4.55 2015 Humans of New York: Stories
author: Brandon Stanton
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.55
book published: 2015
rating: 5
read at: 2016/07/11
date added: 2019/02/09
shelves: read-in-2016, made-me-cry
review:
Automatic 5 stars just because Lin-Manuel is in this...

I genuinely did not expect that I would read this all in one sitting. It's a huge book, and filled with hundreds of pictures and captions. I am just obsessed with HONY because it is SO fascinating. The diversity of voices and people is just so refreshing and I could honestly read and look at them for HOURS. Some were funny and brought a smile to my face, others were so upsetting they brought tears to my eyes, and others were just very thought-provoking. Reading things like these makes me empathize with complete strangers, and it's actually sort of comforting for someone you've never even met to be describing a feeling that you've known so acutely but haven't been able to put into words. I enjoyed this book more than Brandon's previous one and I HIGHLY recommend it if you're a fan of HONY :)
]]> Aquicorn Cove 36482829 96 Kay O'Neill 1620105292 Whitney 4 Thanks to Netgalley for providing an e-arc in exchange for my honest review!

This book was beyond precious!! It's like a Disney movie in a graphic novel because of its lighthearted, magical vibe yet undertones of sorrow and meaning. There's loss, there's reunion, there's messages about environmentalism, there's mythical creatures, and there's even a subtle f/f romance. The art was so gorgeous and this book was very easy to follow and a quick read that definitely got me teary-eyed. I can't wait to get a copy of this for my shelf!]]> 4.18 2018 Aquicorn Cove
author: Kay O'Neill
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.18
book published: 2018
rating: 4
read at: 2018/07/17
date added: 2019/02/06
shelves: childrens, lgbtqiap, graphic-novels, made-me-cry, read-in-2018, sent-from-pub, sapphic
review:
Thanks to Netgalley for providing an e-arc in exchange for my honest review!

This book was beyond precious!! It's like a Disney movie in a graphic novel because of its lighthearted, magical vibe yet undertones of sorrow and meaning. There's loss, there's reunion, there's messages about environmentalism, there's mythical creatures, and there's even a subtle f/f romance. The art was so gorgeous and this book was very easy to follow and a quick read that definitely got me teary-eyed. I can't wait to get a copy of this for my shelf!
]]> It Was Me All Along 20484545
On her twentieth birthday, Andie Mitchell stepped on the scale and discovered that she weighed nearly 300 pounds. At 5' 9"--even knowing that she was big and hating herself for it--she was stunned. How had she gotten there? Without following wild diet trends, she lost 135 pounds over thirteen months and has kept it off for six years.

It Was Me All Along shares the at times heartbreaking, yet ultimately uplifting and motivating, story of how Andie kicked her habit of binge eating, which she developed during a traumatic childhood, and developed a healthy relationship with food, which she still loves to cook and enjoy.

Her story is at once familiar and inspiring to millions who have struggled with weight and self-image issues. Andie is a powerful motivator who bravely bares all to help others.]]> 240 Andie Mitchell 0770433243 Whitney 3 read-in-2017, made-me-cry
I closed this book and literally went, out loud, "Huh."

I have very mixed feelings, and just a warning, this is a highly more subjective review than my typical ones because this book is so hard hitting. There were parts of it that I loathed because of the tone used, but then later on I would realize why she did that and how it supports her message. Nevertheless, this was a bittersweet book for me.

At the beginning, this book made me highly uncomfortable. (See my update for this book when I was on page 22.) It seemed like she was writing it for skinny people. She was constantly talking about how she had to battle an eating disorder and the importance of eating and being content with your body, but in the same breath, she talks about how gross it was that she used to eat pancakes with syrup and butter. She created all this gluttonous imagery around the idea of food, always giving very descriptive passages about food as if to make the reader guilty for enjoying those things. Perhaps some people benefitted from feeling the guilt as a result of this, but it just made me feel even shittier about myself and the fact that I indulge in these foods. Even though she was establishing that she used to binge eat and overeat for comfort, it came off in a very shaming way and sort of made me feel like shit. honestly, if you have any triggers with food or fat shaming, i would avoid this altogether.

Her writing style was gorgeous. Descriptive images were packed onto every page and I really got to feel the texture of her life. However, almost every image was contingent on describing food, or comparing something back to food. If something in the book was red, she would say “it was red, like strawberry jam” or if something was soft, she might compare it to cake. It got really tiring because, once again, there seemed to be this really pervasive theme that fatty food was the only relevant thing in her childhood, which was disturbing to me for some reason.

And although this made it hard to read for the first 100 pages, it began to make me think about myself. Was I just sensitive to this because it made me reflect on my eating habits? Did I see myself in Andie?

At one point I was describing this book to my mom and jokingly said, “I feel like she should get thrown out of the ‘fat people feeling sorry about themselves’ club because she was prom queen and she had several boyfriends in this book,” which is now something I can’t stop thinking about. I was kidding, but I think that telling her this made me realize that I harbor a lot of insecurities about myself that I actively suppress, and this book brought a lot of those to the forefront. Therefore, I don’t think this book was meant to be a comfortable read (or, once again, it was written for skinny people or people who have already lost the weight they needed to). I definitely think an editor could have gone through this more thoroughly in order to make sure that the tone of the book wasn’t so critical to the point of being nearly triggering, but once I made it past the difficult scenes in this book, it really did open up a conversation about transformation, finding motivation to shed old habits, and the way that insecurity and self-consciousness can exist in someone who is overweight or obese. It’s just a very, very dark topic for me, so clearly, reading about it in my free time as an activity I do for fun was a bit jarring. I don’t think I was fully ready for the message of this book at the time I picked it up.

Mainly, I’m disturbed by the terminology in this book because the blurbs says this book is about Andie learning to love herself, yet she describes her younger self in really vulgar, hateful ways. She shames her old self for the way she ate, the way she looked, and everything in between. I understand regretting or being embarrassed about the unhealthy lifestyle one must have lived before losing weight, but for anyone reading this book who’s still in that stage, it reads as incredibly accusatory and critical. It felt like she was talking to me. Again, this might be my insecurity showing, but I just wanted to reiterate that a book that is supposedly about self love possesses a LOT of body shaming.

All of that being said--and once again, those criticisms might be entirely overly-critical just because of the sensitive nature of this book and my weight-- I do think its final message was good. This is more than just a book about her weight loss journey; it talks about her family, her career, her college experience, and other factors occurring around her getting healthy. I liked that part of it. I liked seeing her slow progression of getting better.

And in the end, this book did make me think twice about my food choices during the few days that I was reading it. Maybe the first night I read it, I just wasn't ready for it. But I still can't decide if this is a book I would recommend or not. It was such a strange, thought-provoking experience.]]> 3.74 2015 It Was Me All Along
author: Andie Mitchell
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.74
book published: 2015
rating: 3
read at: 2017/05/13
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: read-in-2017, made-me-cry
review:
3.5 Stars

I closed this book and literally went, out loud, "Huh."

I have very mixed feelings, and just a warning, this is a highly more subjective review than my typical ones because this book is so hard hitting. There were parts of it that I loathed because of the tone used, but then later on I would realize why she did that and how it supports her message. Nevertheless, this was a bittersweet book for me.

At the beginning, this book made me highly uncomfortable. (See my update for this book when I was on page 22.) It seemed like she was writing it for skinny people. She was constantly talking about how she had to battle an eating disorder and the importance of eating and being content with your body, but in the same breath, she talks about how gross it was that she used to eat pancakes with syrup and butter. She created all this gluttonous imagery around the idea of food, always giving very descriptive passages about food as if to make the reader guilty for enjoying those things. Perhaps some people benefitted from feeling the guilt as a result of this, but it just made me feel even shittier about myself and the fact that I indulge in these foods. Even though she was establishing that she used to binge eat and overeat for comfort, it came off in a very shaming way and sort of made me feel like shit. honestly, if you have any triggers with food or fat shaming, i would avoid this altogether.

Her writing style was gorgeous. Descriptive images were packed onto every page and I really got to feel the texture of her life. However, almost every image was contingent on describing food, or comparing something back to food. If something in the book was red, she would say “it was red, like strawberry jam” or if something was soft, she might compare it to cake. It got really tiring because, once again, there seemed to be this really pervasive theme that fatty food was the only relevant thing in her childhood, which was disturbing to me for some reason.

And although this made it hard to read for the first 100 pages, it began to make me think about myself. Was I just sensitive to this because it made me reflect on my eating habits? Did I see myself in Andie?

At one point I was describing this book to my mom and jokingly said, “I feel like she should get thrown out of the ‘fat people feeling sorry about themselves’ club because she was prom queen and she had several boyfriends in this book,” which is now something I can’t stop thinking about. I was kidding, but I think that telling her this made me realize that I harbor a lot of insecurities about myself that I actively suppress, and this book brought a lot of those to the forefront. Therefore, I don’t think this book was meant to be a comfortable read (or, once again, it was written for skinny people or people who have already lost the weight they needed to). I definitely think an editor could have gone through this more thoroughly in order to make sure that the tone of the book wasn’t so critical to the point of being nearly triggering, but once I made it past the difficult scenes in this book, it really did open up a conversation about transformation, finding motivation to shed old habits, and the way that insecurity and self-consciousness can exist in someone who is overweight or obese. It’s just a very, very dark topic for me, so clearly, reading about it in my free time as an activity I do for fun was a bit jarring. I don’t think I was fully ready for the message of this book at the time I picked it up.

Mainly, I’m disturbed by the terminology in this book because the blurbs says this book is about Andie learning to love herself, yet she describes her younger self in really vulgar, hateful ways. She shames her old self for the way she ate, the way she looked, and everything in between. I understand regretting or being embarrassed about the unhealthy lifestyle one must have lived before losing weight, but for anyone reading this book who’s still in that stage, it reads as incredibly accusatory and critical. It felt like she was talking to me. Again, this might be my insecurity showing, but I just wanted to reiterate that a book that is supposedly about self love possesses a LOT of body shaming.

All of that being said--and once again, those criticisms might be entirely overly-critical just because of the sensitive nature of this book and my weight-- I do think its final message was good. This is more than just a book about her weight loss journey; it talks about her family, her career, her college experience, and other factors occurring around her getting healthy. I liked that part of it. I liked seeing her slow progression of getting better.

And in the end, this book did make me think twice about my food choices during the few days that I was reading it. Maybe the first night I read it, I just wasn't ready for it. But I still can't decide if this is a book I would recommend or not. It was such a strange, thought-provoking experience.
]]> I Heart You, You Haunt Me 1832749 Girl meets boy.
Girl loses boy.
Girl gets boy back...

..sort of.

Ava can't see him or touch him,
unless she's dreaming.
She can't hear his voice,
except for the faint whispers in her mind.
Most would think she's crazy, but she knows he's here.

Jackson.
The boy Ava thought she'd spend the rest of her life with.
He's back from the dead,
as proof that love truly knows no bounds.]]> 227 Lisa Schroeder 1416955208 Whitney 5 3.84 2008 I Heart You, You Haunt Me
author: Lisa Schroeder
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.84
book published: 2008
rating: 5
read at: 2014/01/01
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: read-in-2014, made-me-cry, in-verse
review:
i'm a sucker for these books written in verse because they're so quick and to the point but still so rich and they stick with you. another AMAZING book by lisa, i'm becoming addicted.
]]> Making Faces 18301124
Making Faces is the story of a small town where five young men go off to war, and only one comes back. It is the story of loss. Collective loss, individual loss, loss of beauty, loss of life, loss of identity. It is the tale of one girl's love for a broken boy, and a wounded warrior's love for an unremarkable girl. This is a story of friendship that overcomes heartache, heroism that defies the common definitions, and a modern tale of Beauty and the Beast, where we discover that there is a little beauty and a little beast in all of us.]]> 405 Amy Harmon 1301673870 Whitney 4
This book left me torn, because on one hand, the writing style was gorgeous and leagues better than a lot of romances I read, but at the same time, I had a lot of small issues with it.

Mainly, the scope and structure of this book was really awkward. Usually I critique books that have good bones yet weak writing, but this book is a rare opposite. The way the story is told is gorgeous, but the timeline of it is aimless. This book begins when the characters are in high school, and it follows their adolescence for 40% of the story, which I understand provides background information about the growth of their relationship over time, but this book could have cut 200 pages and begun when the characters are adults and their story truly begins. Even more awkward is how frequently this book takes pause to flash even further in the past. Either tell the story chronologically or skip to an important place in the plot without constantly interrupting the narrative for a flashback. It took me 2 weeks to read this book because I was a bit bored reading about the characters' backstory, and it's shocking that this book took almost 50% of the way to get to the actual story described in the synopsis.

And the pace of the story definitely affected the pace of the relationship: this book had such a slow-burning relationship that really made me excited to see how it would build and grow, but all of the anticipation was just thrown in a gutter when at the end, NOTHING major happened between them and it was all just wrapped up in an epilogue. Most importantly, there was no sex scene in this book. Not even one!!!! By the end of the book, I was still waiting for the characters to have a big climactic scene where they declare their love or start gettin' it on or whatever, but instead, [spoilers removed] and the book ends. Like, WHAT? The MC is a pastor's daughter so I understand waiting for marriage but I'm disappointed that this book drug out a slow burn relationship with so much angst but in the end, it just cuts to a cheesy epilogue of them [spoilers removed] I think the first love scene between two characters is a significant and powerful moment in romance books that the entire plot practically circles around, so it just felt stunted that this book completely omitted it. I'm not saying a romance book requires porn to be interesting but.... come on. throw a dog a bone. (pun intended?)

One tiny detail that nagged me was how Ambrose went off to war with 4 friends, and he's the only one came home. That Ambrose survived a bomb strike that killed 4 people and he only escaped with cuts on his face seems wildly unrealistic to me. Ambrose literally says "the right side of my head was sheered off," yet he didn't have so much as memory loss or other amputations/disabilities, except ~oh no he's ugly now~

Lastly, I get this book's message about looking beyond people's appearances to see inner beauty, but that message still felt like it was sometimes suggesting that people with braces/glasses/frizzy hair or people with facial disfigurements--especially from war--are always ugly and unworthy of love or recognition for physical beauty. There's lots of people who have braces and big hair and glasses that are still beautiful and worthy of having a relationship, you know?

Despite everything, this book was still gorgeously written with actually witty dialogue, which is better than 95% of the books I read. Also, the representation of a character with muscular dystrophy was done mindfully, in my opinion. Overall, I say this book is worth reading, but it is NOT the new adult/angsty, smutty book I wanted.]]> 4.40 2013 Making Faces
author: Amy Harmon
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.40
book published: 2013
rating: 4
read at: 2018/07/10
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: romance, made-me-cry, read-in-2018
review:
3.75 Stars

This book left me torn, because on one hand, the writing style was gorgeous and leagues better than a lot of romances I read, but at the same time, I had a lot of small issues with it.

Mainly, the scope and structure of this book was really awkward. Usually I critique books that have good bones yet weak writing, but this book is a rare opposite. The way the story is told is gorgeous, but the timeline of it is aimless. This book begins when the characters are in high school, and it follows their adolescence for 40% of the story, which I understand provides background information about the growth of their relationship over time, but this book could have cut 200 pages and begun when the characters are adults and their story truly begins. Even more awkward is how frequently this book takes pause to flash even further in the past. Either tell the story chronologically or skip to an important place in the plot without constantly interrupting the narrative for a flashback. It took me 2 weeks to read this book because I was a bit bored reading about the characters' backstory, and it's shocking that this book took almost 50% of the way to get to the actual story described in the synopsis.

And the pace of the story definitely affected the pace of the relationship: this book had such a slow-burning relationship that really made me excited to see how it would build and grow, but all of the anticipation was just thrown in a gutter when at the end, NOTHING major happened between them and it was all just wrapped up in an epilogue. Most importantly, there was no sex scene in this book. Not even one!!!! By the end of the book, I was still waiting for the characters to have a big climactic scene where they declare their love or start gettin' it on or whatever, but instead, [spoilers removed] and the book ends. Like, WHAT? The MC is a pastor's daughter so I understand waiting for marriage but I'm disappointed that this book drug out a slow burn relationship with so much angst but in the end, it just cuts to a cheesy epilogue of them [spoilers removed] I think the first love scene between two characters is a significant and powerful moment in romance books that the entire plot practically circles around, so it just felt stunted that this book completely omitted it. I'm not saying a romance book requires porn to be interesting but.... come on. throw a dog a bone. (pun intended?)

One tiny detail that nagged me was how Ambrose went off to war with 4 friends, and he's the only one came home. That Ambrose survived a bomb strike that killed 4 people and he only escaped with cuts on his face seems wildly unrealistic to me. Ambrose literally says "the right side of my head was sheered off," yet he didn't have so much as memory loss or other amputations/disabilities, except ~oh no he's ugly now~

Lastly, I get this book's message about looking beyond people's appearances to see inner beauty, but that message still felt like it was sometimes suggesting that people with braces/glasses/frizzy hair or people with facial disfigurements--especially from war--are always ugly and unworthy of love or recognition for physical beauty. There's lots of people who have braces and big hair and glasses that are still beautiful and worthy of having a relationship, you know?

Despite everything, this book was still gorgeously written with actually witty dialogue, which is better than 95% of the books I read. Also, the representation of a character with muscular dystrophy was done mindfully, in my opinion. Overall, I say this book is worth reading, but it is NOT the new adult/angsty, smutty book I wanted.
]]> <![CDATA[I Am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban]]> 17851885 I come from a country that was created at midnight. When I almost died it was just after midday.

When the Taliban took control of the Swat Valley in Pakistan, one girl spoke out. Malala Yousafzai refused to be silenced and fought for her right to an education.

On Tuesday, October 9, 2012, when she was fifteen, she almost paid the ultimate price. She was shot in the head at point-blank range while riding the bus home from school, and few expected her to survive.

Instead, Malala's miraculous recovery has taken her on an extraordinary journey from a remote valley in northern Pakistan to the halls of the United Nations in New York. At sixteen, she has become a global symbol of peaceful protest and the youngest-ever Nobel Peace Prize laureate.

I Am Malala is the remarkable tale of a family uprooted by global terrorism, of the fight for girls' education, of a father who, himself a school owner, championed and encouraged his daughter to write and attend school, and of brave parents who have a fierce love for their daughter in a society that prizes sons.]]> 327 Malala Yousafzai 0316322407 Whitney 3
Malala is one of my idols and i've had my eye on this book for a very long time. I listened to this on audio, and the prologue of this is read by Malala herself. I cried three times just in that first half hour listening to her talk about her story.
For the first third of this book, I was convinced that I would be giving it five stars. I love what Malala stands for and I think we got such a vibrant description of her life and I loved that we got to know sort of "a day in the life of Malala." She felt so real to me, like I was one of her school friends. But then toward the middle of this book, there was about 2 hours of infodumping. The story switched from an explanation of Malala's education and her life to an explanation of Pakistan and different leaders and terrorist regimes ruling and political drama, and although others might think this adds great info to the story, history/politics does NOT interest me whatsoever, so I found myself almost returning this audiobook just because I was so miserably bored. I stuck with it, though, only skim listening (is that a thing????) and it finally returned to events regarding Malala for the last third of the book.
I agree so much with what Malala is fighting for and I think her story is really tragic but encouraging. I wish this book had focused less on giving us a history lesson, and rather Malala could have gone into depth about the topics she's passionate about.
I will be purchasing a physical copy of this, and I would recommend it to you if you support Malala!]]> 4.15 2012 I Am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban
author: Malala Yousafzai
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.15
book published: 2012
rating: 3
read at: 2015/06/24
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: feminism, memoir, audiobook, read-in-2015, made-me-cry
review:
3.5 stars

Malala is one of my idols and i've had my eye on this book for a very long time. I listened to this on audio, and the prologue of this is read by Malala herself. I cried three times just in that first half hour listening to her talk about her story.
For the first third of this book, I was convinced that I would be giving it five stars. I love what Malala stands for and I think we got such a vibrant description of her life and I loved that we got to know sort of "a day in the life of Malala." She felt so real to me, like I was one of her school friends. But then toward the middle of this book, there was about 2 hours of infodumping. The story switched from an explanation of Malala's education and her life to an explanation of Pakistan and different leaders and terrorist regimes ruling and political drama, and although others might think this adds great info to the story, history/politics does NOT interest me whatsoever, so I found myself almost returning this audiobook just because I was so miserably bored. I stuck with it, though, only skim listening (is that a thing????) and it finally returned to events regarding Malala for the last third of the book.
I agree so much with what Malala is fighting for and I think her story is really tragic but encouraging. I wish this book had focused less on giving us a history lesson, and rather Malala could have gone into depth about the topics she's passionate about.
I will be purchasing a physical copy of this, and I would recommend it to you if you support Malala!
]]> Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock 13477676
But first he must say good-bye to the four people who matter most to him: his Humphrey Bogart-obsessed next-door neighbor, Walt; his classmate, Baback, a violin virtuoso; Lauren, the Christian homeschooler he has a crush on; and Herr Silverman, who teaches the high school’s class on the Holocaust. Speaking to each in turn, Leonard slowly reveals his secrets as the hours tick by and the moment of truth approaches.

In this riveting look at a day in the life of a disturbed teenage boy, acclaimed author Matthew Quick unflinchingly examines the impossible choices that must be made—and the light in us all that never goes out.]]> 277 Matthew Quick 0316221333 Whitney 4
It's strange how this book made me feel simultaneously uncomfortable yet touched. Leonard Peacock is purposefully an unlikable character, yet as his mental illness and traumatic past is slowly unveiled, you can't help but root for him and his recovery. This book nearly tore my heart in half just because of how conflicted I was, but I think that was the point. I adored the side characters in this book, and I loved Leonard's narration itself. I was definitely crying at the book's climax. The storytelling is jarring but honest, and I couldn't put this down.

My only real critique is that the ending was too abrupt. I feel like it needed one more chapter or an epilogue for some finality, or at least an indication of what the characters ended up doing after the climax of the book. I feel like I still don't quite know if the book ended on a positive or negative note. Was that the intention?

Regardless, i'm still wiping mascara smudges off my cheeks from this book. I anticipate I'll be thinking about it for some time, wondering what the characters are up to after the ending of the novel.]]> 3.88 2013 Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock
author: Matthew Quick
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.88
book published: 2013
rating: 4
read at: 2018/09/19
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: audiobook, made-me-cry, read-in-2018
review:
tw: antisemitism/nazis, suicidal thoughts and actions, depression, rape/sexual assault

It's strange how this book made me feel simultaneously uncomfortable yet touched. Leonard Peacock is purposefully an unlikable character, yet as his mental illness and traumatic past is slowly unveiled, you can't help but root for him and his recovery. This book nearly tore my heart in half just because of how conflicted I was, but I think that was the point. I adored the side characters in this book, and I loved Leonard's narration itself. I was definitely crying at the book's climax. The storytelling is jarring but honest, and I couldn't put this down.

My only real critique is that the ending was too abrupt. I feel like it needed one more chapter or an epilogue for some finality, or at least an indication of what the characters ended up doing after the climax of the book. I feel like I still don't quite know if the book ended on a positive or negative note. Was that the intention?

Regardless, i'm still wiping mascara smudges off my cheeks from this book. I anticipate I'll be thinking about it for some time, wondering what the characters are up to after the ending of the novel.
]]> Moxie 33163378 Moxie girls fight back!

Vivian Carter is fed up. Fed up with her small-town Texas high school that thinks the football team can do no wrong. Fed up with sexist dress codes and hallway harassment. But most of all, Viv Carter is fed up with always following the rules.

Viv’s mom was a punk rock Riot Grrrl in the ’90s, so now Viv takes a page from her mother’s past and creates a feminist zine that she distributes anonymously to her classmates. She’s just blowing off steam, but other girls respond. Pretty soon Viv is forging friendships with other young women across the divides of cliques and popularity rankings, and she realizes that what she has started is nothing short of a girl revolution.]]> 330 Jennifer Mathieu 1626726353 Whitney 4
My only two complaints were only minor hindrances to my reading experience. Firstly, the word "totally" is overused to a noticable and embarrassing degree. Secondly, this requires a bit of suspension of disbelief. I went to school in conservative Texas where strict dress codes are upheld and boys make nasty comments, but some parts of this just seemed over the edge unrealistic. Sometimes it was the boys being able to get away with obviously crude things, and sometimes it was the girls' reactions to it. I hate to say it, but I think this reads a bit like an idealized version of how a perfect world would fight back and treat sexists. In reality, I couldn't envision this many girls realistically rallying behind the purpose of Moxie, especially in the conversative south. That being said, I like how enthusiastically and passionate these girls were portrayed, even though it nagged at me that I couldn't see anything similar happening in my school or anywhere near me.]]> 4.18 2017 Moxie
author: Jennifer Mathieu
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.18
book published: 2017
rating: 4
read at: 2018/01/05
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: feminism, read-in-2018, made-me-cry
review:
This book was so touching. I love the fire and passion of all the characters about justice, and I think it's such an important narrative. The fact that the love interest identified as a feminist was enough to bring tears to my eyes. And I also love how this touches on the fact that feminism isn't perfect and people who try to help still makes mistakes. I wish 16 year old me could have read this and been inspired, so it's my only hope that girls that age will really internalize this.

My only two complaints were only minor hindrances to my reading experience. Firstly, the word "totally" is overused to a noticable and embarrassing degree. Secondly, this requires a bit of suspension of disbelief. I went to school in conservative Texas where strict dress codes are upheld and boys make nasty comments, but some parts of this just seemed over the edge unrealistic. Sometimes it was the boys being able to get away with obviously crude things, and sometimes it was the girls' reactions to it. I hate to say it, but I think this reads a bit like an idealized version of how a perfect world would fight back and treat sexists. In reality, I couldn't envision this many girls realistically rallying behind the purpose of Moxie, especially in the conversative south. That being said, I like how enthusiastically and passionate these girls were portrayed, even though it nagged at me that I couldn't see anything similar happening in my school or anywhere near me.
]]> History Is All You Left Me 25014114
To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin's downward spiral continues. He's losing himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, and the secrets he's been keeping are tearing him apart.

If Griffin is ever to rebuild his future, he must first confront his history, every last heartbreaking piece in the puzzle of his life.]]> 320 Adam Silvera 1616956933 Whitney 4
There was actually a lot of depth to this that I wasn't expecting. All the characters are so flawed and it was really refreshing to not be a typical loss story. It was so much more complex than I thought it would be and I was really refreshed and impressed. Even though Griffin makes questionable choices, you still root for him. It was a story that you get so invested into the characters, and the history versus now narration of it was done so well.

Overall, it didn't quite live up to the hype for me, but it was still really impressive quality and it was heartbreaking.]]> 3.93 2017 History Is All You Left Me
author: Adam Silvera
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.93
book published: 2017
rating: 4
read at: 2018/02/07
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: lgbtqiap, read-in-2018, made-me-cry
review:
I started this book because I wanted a book that would get me in my feels, and although this got me teary a few times, it wasn't as sad as I was expecting it to be.

There was actually a lot of depth to this that I wasn't expecting. All the characters are so flawed and it was really refreshing to not be a typical loss story. It was so much more complex than I thought it would be and I was really refreshed and impressed. Even though Griffin makes questionable choices, you still root for him. It was a story that you get so invested into the characters, and the history versus now narration of it was done so well.

Overall, it didn't quite live up to the hype for me, but it was still really impressive quality and it was heartbreaking.
]]> Reason Number One 32191270
All he has to do is be normal, which in Taylor’s book, means acting one hundred percent straight. Too bad that becomes one hundred percent impossible when he meets his roommate’s friend, Calis Schrader, who has a major flirting problem. Especially with Taylor. Calis and his friends force Taylor to question every truth he’s accepted about himself and the world him around him.

As Taylor struggles to reconcile his past with his future, he finds himself evaluating what it means to be normal, what it means to be ruined, and what it actually means to be gay.]]> 254 Briston Brooks Whitney 5
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.

TW: cutting, homophobia, domestic violence, and rape

I've gotta say, before this, I gave up on reading self-published books because most of them were so unbearable to read since they lacked so much editing. I was slightly hesitant going into this because of that, but one of my really good friends recommended this to me on the basis that her friend wrote it and it was actually really good, so I had faith. And wow.

This book is powerful. And exactly the type of story I love. What it lacks in wobbly structure, it makes up for with your investment in the characters and the story. It's a book about self-love and friendship and sexual identity and recovery. And it's done so realistically.

Hands down, the best thing about this book is the characters. I compare them to The Raven Boys because it's that exact type of character development in which you get to know them by the tiny details, and it builds their character from the ground up. I'm a sucker for noticing details, and making a character feel like they're in the flesh by attributing flaws to them. This book was a masterpiece at doing that.

The one downfall is that since it is self-published, there are some parts that are clunky because I feel like they could use some work. Particularly, the dialogue could be a bit jarring because everyone seems to sputter or repeat themselves a lot. The villain/ex-boyfriend felt a bit two-demensional for reasons I won't spoil, but I felt like his issues could have been explored or explained better and less in-your-face. Additionally, I wished the college setting was more fleshed out and we could have seen Taylor in his classes or the dining hall, and also I think the changing of seasons could have been more apparent.

But as you can see, my issues with it are minor. This book made me laugh, this book made me cry. I hope you all decide to try it and support my friend!! (i'm only slightly biased because briston is awesome and she deserves all the love)]]> 4.06 2016 Reason Number One
author: Briston Brooks
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.06
book published: 2016
rating: 5
read at: 2017/07/02
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: read-in-2017, lgbtqiap, favs-of-2017, sent-from-pub, made-me-cry
review:
4.5 stars

I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.

TW: cutting, homophobia, domestic violence, and rape

I've gotta say, before this, I gave up on reading self-published books because most of them were so unbearable to read since they lacked so much editing. I was slightly hesitant going into this because of that, but one of my really good friends recommended this to me on the basis that her friend wrote it and it was actually really good, so I had faith. And wow.

This book is powerful. And exactly the type of story I love. What it lacks in wobbly structure, it makes up for with your investment in the characters and the story. It's a book about self-love and friendship and sexual identity and recovery. And it's done so realistically.

Hands down, the best thing about this book is the characters. I compare them to The Raven Boys because it's that exact type of character development in which you get to know them by the tiny details, and it builds their character from the ground up. I'm a sucker for noticing details, and making a character feel like they're in the flesh by attributing flaws to them. This book was a masterpiece at doing that.

The one downfall is that since it is self-published, there are some parts that are clunky because I feel like they could use some work. Particularly, the dialogue could be a bit jarring because everyone seems to sputter or repeat themselves a lot. The villain/ex-boyfriend felt a bit two-demensional for reasons I won't spoil, but I felt like his issues could have been explored or explained better and less in-your-face. Additionally, I wished the college setting was more fleshed out and we could have seen Taylor in his classes or the dining hall, and also I think the changing of seasons could have been more apparent.

But as you can see, my issues with it are minor. This book made me laugh, this book made me cry. I hope you all decide to try it and support my friend!! (i'm only slightly biased because briston is awesome and she deserves all the love)
]]> Second Chance Summer 16127936 From the Flying Start author of Amy & Roger’s Epic Detour, a powerful novel about hope in the face of heartbreak.

Taylor Edwards’ family might not be the closest-knit—everyone is a little too busy and overscheduled—but for the most part, they get along just fine. Then Taylor’s dad gets devastating news, and her parents decide that the family will spend one last summer all together at their old lake house in the Pocono Mountains.

Crammed into a place much smaller and more rustic than they are used to, they begin to get to know each other again. And Taylor discovers that the people she thought she had left behind haven’t actually gone anywhere. Her former best friend is still around, as is her first boyfriend…and he’s much cuter at seventeen than he was at twelve.

As the summer progresses and the Edwards become more of a family, they’re more aware than ever that they’re battling a ticking clock. Sometimes, though, there is just enough time to get a second chance—with family, with friends, and with love.]]> 468 Morgan Matson 1416990682 Whitney 3 read-in-2015, made-me-cry
This book took me forever to read. It dragged a bit, which I felt was unusual because I flew through Matson's 2 other books. Although I did enjoy this one and it was definitely summery and made me wish I had a lake house, I'm really tired of Matson only writing about shy girls who never speak their mind or have confidence. It was really irritating in this book, moreso than her other two, and I found myself unable to relate to-- or enjoying reading about-- the characters. The entire premise of this was just meh. And although it was a nice read and made me sad at the end (inevitably), it's not the best thing in the world. And I'm still unsure if this book was overhyped for me, or if that's just how I feel truly.]]> 4.23 2012 Second Chance Summer
author: Morgan Matson
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.23
book published: 2012
rating: 3
read at: 2015/07/21
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: read-in-2015, made-me-cry
review:
Tissue count: 3

This book took me forever to read. It dragged a bit, which I felt was unusual because I flew through Matson's 2 other books. Although I did enjoy this one and it was definitely summery and made me wish I had a lake house, I'm really tired of Matson only writing about shy girls who never speak their mind or have confidence. It was really irritating in this book, moreso than her other two, and I found myself unable to relate to-- or enjoying reading about-- the characters. The entire premise of this was just meh. And although it was a nice read and made me sad at the end (inevitably), it's not the best thing in the world. And I'm still unsure if this book was overhyped for me, or if that's just how I feel truly.
]]> <![CDATA[Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Aristotle and Dante, #1)]]> 12000020
But against all odds, when Ari and Dante meet, they develop a special bond that will teach them the most important truths of their lives, and help define the people they want to be. But there are big hurdles in their way, and only by believing in each other—and the power of their friendship—can Ari and Dante emerge stronger on the other side.]]> 390 Benjamin Alire Sáenz 1442408928 Whitney 4 I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING 4.29 2012 Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Aristotle and Dante, #1)
author: Benjamin Alire Sáenz
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.29
book published: 2012
rating: 4
read at: 2015/12/22
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: lgbtqiap, read-in-2015, need-to-reread, made-me-cry
review:
I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING
]]> Stolen (Stolen, #1) 6408862 It happened like this. I was stolen from an airport. Taken from everything I knew, everything I was used to. Taken to sand and heat, dirt and danger. And he expected me to love him.

This is my story.

A letter from nowhere.

Sixteen-year-old Gemma is kidnapped from Bangkok airport and taken to the Australian Outback. This wild and desolate landscape becomes almost a character in the book, so vividly is it described. Ty, her captor, is no stereotype. He is young, fit and completely gorgeous. This new life in the wilderness has been years in the planning. He loves only her, wants only her. Under the hot glare of the Australian sun, cut off from the world outside, can the force of his love make Gemma love him back?

The story takes the form of a letter, written by Gemma to Ty, reflecting on those strange and disturbing months in the outback. Months when the lines between love and obsession, and love and dependency, blur until they don't exist—almost.]]> 304 Lucy Christopher 1906427135 Whitney 4
zooweemama]]> 3.89 2009 Stolen (Stolen, #1)
author: Lucy Christopher
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.89
book published: 2009
rating: 4
read at: 2014/06/14
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: favorites, read-in-2014, need-to-reread, made-me-cry
review:
4.5 stars

zooweemama
]]> The Sky Is Everywhere 23168945
Join Lennie on this heartbreaking and hilarious journey of profound sorrow and mad love, as she makes colossal mistakes and colossal discoveries, as she traipses through band rooms and forest bedrooms and ultimately right into your heart.

As much a celebration of love as a poignant portrait of loss, Lennie's struggle to sort her own melody out of the noise around her is always honest, often uproarious, and absolutely unforgettable.]]> 292 Jandy Nelson 0142417807 Whitney 5
this book was so freakin fantastic, one of my new favorites.
like, up-at-1:30-AM-crying-because-it's-so-good favorite]]> 3.93 2010 The Sky Is Everywhere
author: Jandy Nelson
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.93
book published: 2010
rating: 5
read at: 2014/02/27
date added: 2018/09/25
shelves: favorites, read-in-2014, made-me-cry
review:
tissue count: 7

this book was so freakin fantastic, one of my new favorites.
like, up-at-1:30-AM-crying-because-it's-so-good favorite
]]> <![CDATA[A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy]]> 25937671  
For the last sixteen years, Sue Klebold, Dylan’s mother, has lived with the indescribable grief and shame of that day. How could her child, the promising young man she had loved and raised, be responsible for such horror? And how, as his mother, had she not known something was wrong? Were there subtle signs she had missed? What, if anything, could she have done differently?
 
These are questions that Klebold has grappled with every day since the Columbine tragedy. In A Mother’s Reckoning, she chronicles with unflinching honesty her journey as a mother trying to come to terms with the incomprehensible. In the hope that the insights and understanding she has gained may help other families recognize when a child is in distress, she tells her story in full, drawing upon her personal journals, the videos and writings that Dylan left behind, and on countless interviews with mental health experts.
 
Filled with hard-won wisdom and compassion, A Mother’s Reckoning is a powerful and haunting book that sheds light on one of the most pressing issues of our time. And with fresh wounds from the recent Newtown and Charleston shootings, never has the need for understanding been more urgent.
 
All author profits from the book will be donated to research and to charitable organizations focusing on mental health issues.

]]> 336 Sue Klebold 1101902760 Whitney 4
TW: Suicide, gun violence, gore, the general graphic nature of homicide/suicide

All I can say is wow. I had a set of expectations for this book, and it surpassed even that. I knew it would be dark and haunting, but I think this will have a much more lasting impression on me than I could have ever anticipated. I listened to the audiobook that Sue narrates, and I can't remember the last time I've listened to an audiobook on 1x (regular) speed and absolutely drank in every word. I didn't want to put this down, it was such a capturing read. In a way it was like watching a trainwreck you just couldn't look away from even though you know it's tragic and there's suffering beyond anything you'll understand.

This fits in the category of memoirs that are just beyond my experience and therefore, my true comprehension. I've read memoirs from people you couldn't pay me a billion dollars to trade places with, and this is one of those. Sue's story stretched my sympathy to monumental lengths, and I can't imagine how much more impactful this book would be to someone who has children. Hearing Sue's story as someone who doesn't even want kids was heartbreaking enough, but I can't imagine being her intended audience (parents) and having to hear her points about how sometimes loving your child isn't enough to save them and they have interior lives you can truly never know. One of the parts that stuck with me most was during the initial months of her grieving after they lost Dylan, Sue's husband told her, "I wish he had killed us too." That, alongside the scene where she describes going to the Columbine library and seeing the bloodstains on the ground, were so impactful and heartbreaking that I had to pause the audiobook and take a break to cry and reflect. It's truly one of the most haunting books I've ever read, especially considering Sue's detailed backstory of Dylan's "normal" childhood and upbringing.

And the way Sue writes about and frames her experience was a complete shock. I was expecting this to be a very self-based memoir discussing her life in April 1999 and the years onward, which it largely is for the first half. Like I mentioned earlier, I thought it would be very based around discussing Dylan's normality and deflecting blame. But the way that Sue recovered from this tragedy and educated herself on suicide and school shootings, and the amount of research that went into this book was SO unexpected. It's not just a self-indulgent story about how sad she is and her excuses about what could have gone wrong; it's a regretful admission that she could have done better, but also a call-to-action for others to recognize suicide and mental health and the ways to prevent tragedy moving forward. She doesn't at all dismiss Dylan's unforeseen mental health issues, and once again, it astonished me how decisively she tackled the discussions, rumors, conspiracies, backlash, and everything else. I can't emphasize how impressed I am by this. Sometimes I feel like the format of this was lacking, like Sue would reference a certain event two or three times throughout different parts of the book, and it would seem a bit aimless and like it needed more editing to make it more chronological. Still, the second section of the book addressing suicide/homicide causes and prevention was so important, I can hardly discount this minor issue I had with it.

However, I need to disclaim that although this book surpassed my expectations content-wise, it also surpassed a threshold of graphic content I could handle. Nothing was explicitly graphic while listening that made me sick, but the lingering vibe of this book after I put it down was so unsettling that I couldn't sleep for two nights. I had to turn on cartoons just to be able to calm myself down because this could be so dark and lingering. (It didn't help that I got curious and Googled some of the pictures that Sue was mentioning being leaked and...... I regret.) So definitely be in a stable headspace when you go to read this, because it can quickly dismantle any good standing with mental health you've achieved. It's very penetrating, dark material. Nevertheless, I don't regret reading this and I definitely will never forget it.]]> 4.11 2016 A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy
author: Sue Klebold
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.11
book published: 2016
rating: 4
read at: 2018/02/07
date added: 2018/07/03
shelves: favs-of-2018, audiobook, made-me-cry, memoir, read-in-2018
review:
4.5 Stars

TW: Suicide, gun violence, gore, the general graphic nature of homicide/suicide

All I can say is wow. I had a set of expectations for this book, and it surpassed even that. I knew it would be dark and haunting, but I think this will have a much more lasting impression on me than I could have ever anticipated. I listened to the audiobook that Sue narrates, and I can't remember the last time I've listened to an audiobook on 1x (regular) speed and absolutely drank in every word. I didn't want to put this down, it was such a capturing read. In a way it was like watching a trainwreck you just couldn't look away from even though you know it's tragic and there's suffering beyond anything you'll understand.

This fits in the category of memoirs that are just beyond my experience and therefore, my true comprehension. I've read memoirs from people you couldn't pay me a billion dollars to trade places with, and this is one of those. Sue's story stretched my sympathy to monumental lengths, and I can't imagine how much more impactful this book would be to someone who has children. Hearing Sue's story as someone who doesn't even want kids was heartbreaking enough, but I can't imagine being her intended audience (parents) and having to hear her points about how sometimes loving your child isn't enough to save them and they have interior lives you can truly never know. One of the parts that stuck with me most was during the initial months of her grieving after they lost Dylan, Sue's husband told her, "I wish he had killed us too." That, alongside the scene where she describes going to the Columbine library and seeing the bloodstains on the ground, were so impactful and heartbreaking that I had to pause the audiobook and take a break to cry and reflect. It's truly one of the most haunting books I've ever read, especially considering Sue's detailed backstory of Dylan's "normal" childhood and upbringing.

And the way Sue writes about and frames her experience was a complete shock. I was expecting this to be a very self-based memoir discussing her life in April 1999 and the years onward, which it largely is for the first half. Like I mentioned earlier, I thought it would be very based around discussing Dylan's normality and deflecting blame. But the way that Sue recovered from this tragedy and educated herself on suicide and school shootings, and the amount of research that went into this book was SO unexpected. It's not just a self-indulgent story about how sad she is and her excuses about what could have gone wrong; it's a regretful admission that she could have done better, but also a call-to-action for others to recognize suicide and mental health and the ways to prevent tragedy moving forward. She doesn't at all dismiss Dylan's unforeseen mental health issues, and once again, it astonished me how decisively she tackled the discussions, rumors, conspiracies, backlash, and everything else. I can't emphasize how impressed I am by this. Sometimes I feel like the format of this was lacking, like Sue would reference a certain event two or three times throughout different parts of the book, and it would seem a bit aimless and like it needed more editing to make it more chronological. Still, the second section of the book addressing suicide/homicide causes and prevention was so important, I can hardly discount this minor issue I had with it.

However, I need to disclaim that although this book surpassed my expectations content-wise, it also surpassed a threshold of graphic content I could handle. Nothing was explicitly graphic while listening that made me sick, but the lingering vibe of this book after I put it down was so unsettling that I couldn't sleep for two nights. I had to turn on cartoons just to be able to calm myself down because this could be so dark and lingering. (It didn't help that I got curious and Googled some of the pictures that Sue was mentioning being leaked and...... I regret.) So definitely be in a stable headspace when you go to read this, because it can quickly dismantle any good standing with mental health you've achieved. It's very penetrating, dark material. Nevertheless, I don't regret reading this and I definitely will never forget it.
]]> <![CDATA[An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth]]> 18170143 and enjoy every moment of it.

In An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth, Col. Hadfield takes readers deep into his years of training and space exploration to show how to make the impossible possible. Through eye-opening, entertaining stories filled with the adrenaline of launch, the mesmerizing wonder of spacewalks, and the measured, calm responses mandated by crises, he explains how conventional wisdom can get in the way of achievement-and happiness. His own extraordinary education in space has taught him some counterintuitive lessons: don't visualize success, do care what others think, and always sweat the small stuff.

You might never be able to build a robot, pilot a spacecraft, make a music video or perform basic surgery in zero gravity like Col. Hadfield. But his vivid and refreshing insights will teach you how to think like an astronaut, and will change, completely, the way you view life on Earth-especially your own.]]> 295 Chris Hadfield 0316253014 Whitney 4
The word “guide” in the title of this book was a bit misleading, because it was actually almost a story of Chris’s journey to outer space and back. There was advice sprinkled throughout, but it was really from his standpoint as an astronaut rather than telling the reader how to live their life on Earth. Nevertheless, it read as a great memoir.

I think this book was so fascinating. I listened to 7 out of 8 hours of it in one sitting. Chris narrates the audiobook, and he made his book sound like a story he was telling to a friend, riddled with emotional moments, as well as funny ones. This book perfectly captures the grandeur of being in space—a place where so few people have been—but then being able to relate the experience to things the readers may understand. I was excited he talked about filming videos aboard the ISS and how he went viral, because I recognized several of the videos he’d talked about that I’ve already seen myself. This book was everything I wanted that wasn’t just a restatement of what I’ve seen in those videos.

The most stand-out part of this is a section where he talks about managing fear. Backstory: outer space is my most irrational, illogical fear. I’m never going to be required to go there, nor do I intend to ever pursue a career in the sky, but for some reason, even looking up into the sky for too long and thinking about going to space or watching a movie about space travel gives me anxiety. It just sounds like a horrifying, dangerous experience that I would never volunteer for. Chris talks about how one of his most frequently asked questions is “How do you manage with fear?” and questions relating to his nerves about going to space and managing crises. His response to this and the way that he discusses managing fears and being prepared and maintaining a healthy level of pessimism while still pursuing the best outcome was actually touching. It was interesting to hear about how he manages the mental and physical strains of being in space, and even though I’m never going to be in his situation and that’s why this book was such an eye-opening book for me, it still gave me a lot to take away as far as getting along with people in a team and how to be a strong, reliable leader.

I hate sci-fi and science, so I was pleased that this didn’t linger too much on those fronts at all. There was a lot of explanation of the crafts and procedures they do while on board, but it was actually fascinating rather than laborious to read about. It’ll especially be cool to think about in 50 years when technology has far surpassed what he describes in this book.

If you’re looking to get into a memoir that explores the life of someone extraordinary who does extraordinary things yet still stays humble and true in his account of it, I highly recommend this. It was fantastically narrated and will definitely be a read I ponder for months and maybe even years to come. (But even if you don’t read it, I do recommend looking up those NASA videos on youtube and seeing how people do things in zero gravity. It’s my fascination even though the prospect of being in their shoes terrifies me.)]]> 4.14 2013 An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth
author: Chris Hadfield
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.14
book published: 2013
rating: 4
read at: 2018/06/12
date added: 2018/06/12
shelves: audiobook, made-me-cry, memoir, read-in-2018
review:
I started this book just because I needed an audiobook to listen to as I got ready in the morning and drove to work, and this one was available. For backstory, I’m obsessed with NASA’s youtube channel. If you haven’t watched their videos about how astronauts live in space—showering, eating, sleeping, etc.—I highly recommend you do so, because it’s SO fascinating!! Particularly, one of the most common faces on those videos is Chris Hadfield, whose name I knew because of the channel and subsequently made me want to pick up his book!

The word “guide” in the title of this book was a bit misleading, because it was actually almost a story of Chris’s journey to outer space and back. There was advice sprinkled throughout, but it was really from his standpoint as an astronaut rather than telling the reader how to live their life on Earth. Nevertheless, it read as a great memoir.

I think this book was so fascinating. I listened to 7 out of 8 hours of it in one sitting. Chris narrates the audiobook, and he made his book sound like a story he was telling to a friend, riddled with emotional moments, as well as funny ones. This book perfectly captures the grandeur of being in space—a place where so few people have been—but then being able to relate the experience to things the readers may understand. I was excited he talked about filming videos aboard the ISS and how he went viral, because I recognized several of the videos he’d talked about that I’ve already seen myself. This book was everything I wanted that wasn’t just a restatement of what I’ve seen in those videos.

The most stand-out part of this is a section where he talks about managing fear. Backstory: outer space is my most irrational, illogical fear. I’m never going to be required to go there, nor do I intend to ever pursue a career in the sky, but for some reason, even looking up into the sky for too long and thinking about going to space or watching a movie about space travel gives me anxiety. It just sounds like a horrifying, dangerous experience that I would never volunteer for. Chris talks about how one of his most frequently asked questions is “How do you manage with fear?” and questions relating to his nerves about going to space and managing crises. His response to this and the way that he discusses managing fears and being prepared and maintaining a healthy level of pessimism while still pursuing the best outcome was actually touching. It was interesting to hear about how he manages the mental and physical strains of being in space, and even though I’m never going to be in his situation and that’s why this book was such an eye-opening book for me, it still gave me a lot to take away as far as getting along with people in a team and how to be a strong, reliable leader.

I hate sci-fi and science, so I was pleased that this didn’t linger too much on those fronts at all. There was a lot of explanation of the crafts and procedures they do while on board, but it was actually fascinating rather than laborious to read about. It’ll especially be cool to think about in 50 years when technology has far surpassed what he describes in this book.

If you’re looking to get into a memoir that explores the life of someone extraordinary who does extraordinary things yet still stays humble and true in his account of it, I highly recommend this. It was fantastically narrated and will definitely be a read I ponder for months and maybe even years to come. (But even if you don’t read it, I do recommend looking up those NASA videos on youtube and seeing how people do things in zero gravity. It’s my fascination even though the prospect of being in their shoes terrifies me.)
]]> What Happened 34114362 “In the past, for reasons I try to explain, I’ve often felt I had to be careful in public, like I was up on a wire without a net. Now I’m letting my guard down.” —Hillary Rodham Clinton, from the introduction of What Happened

For the first time, Hillary Rodham Clinton reveals what she was thinking and feeling during one of the most controversial and unpredictable presidential elections in history. Now free from the constraints of running, Hillary takes you inside the intense personal experience of becoming the first woman nominated for president by a major party in an election marked by rage, sexism, exhilarating highs and infuriating lows, stranger-than-fiction twists, Russian interference, and an opponent who broke all the rules. This is her most personal memoir yet.

In these pages, she describes what it was like to run against Donald Trump, the mistakes she made, how she has coped with a shocking and devastating loss, and how she found the strength to pick herself back up afterward. With humor and candor, she tells readers what it took to get back on her feet—the rituals, relationships, and reading that got her through, and what the experience has taught her about life. She speaks about the challenges of being a strong woman in the public eye, the criticism over her voice, age, and appearance, and the double standard confronting women in politics.

She lays out how the 2016 election was marked by an unprecedented assault on our democracy by a foreign adversary. By analyzing the evidence and connecting the dots, Hillary shows just how dangerous the forces are that shaped the outcome, and why Americans need to understand them to protect our values and our democracy in the future.

The election of 2016 was unprecedented and historic. What Happened is the story of that campaign and its aftermath—both a deeply intimate account and a cautionary tale for the nation.]]> 512 Hillary Rodham Clinton Whitney 4
I definitely was sobbing so hard while listening to this that I had to pause the audiobook and cuddle my blankie. It ripped open old wounds from January 2017 and fleshed out Hillary's side to the election that I was previously blind to. I've tried to read political books before and gotten lost in all of the policy discussion, but every page of this made sense because I read every article she referenced and I lived through and clicked away from all the discussion surrounding this election. It was like a punch in the gut to relive it, but it was also comforting and empowering to know Hillary's stance on why the election panned out as it did and how to move on from it. I loved that there were sections dedicated to feminism, the emails, russia, and election night. This was sectioned off so well, and the balance between personal stories and others' research and talk about policy kept me engaged.

I listened to this on audio and there were several impactful moments because Hillary is its narrator, but I'm also finding myself grappling to remember details because I'm sure I would have read this much closer had I picked it up physically, which is why I removed .5 stars. Nevertheless, I'm so glad this won the 카지노싸이트 award because it deserves it.]]> 3.92 2017 What Happened
author: Hillary Rodham Clinton
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.92
book published: 2017
rating: 4
read at: 2018/02/20
date added: 2018/02/20
shelves: memoir, audiobook, read-in-2018, made-me-cry, feminism
review:
4.5 Stars

I definitely was sobbing so hard while listening to this that I had to pause the audiobook and cuddle my blankie. It ripped open old wounds from January 2017 and fleshed out Hillary's side to the election that I was previously blind to. I've tried to read political books before and gotten lost in all of the policy discussion, but every page of this made sense because I read every article she referenced and I lived through and clicked away from all the discussion surrounding this election. It was like a punch in the gut to relive it, but it was also comforting and empowering to know Hillary's stance on why the election panned out as it did and how to move on from it. I loved that there were sections dedicated to feminism, the emails, russia, and election night. This was sectioned off so well, and the balance between personal stories and others' research and talk about policy kept me engaged.

I listened to this on audio and there were several impactful moments because Hillary is its narrator, but I'm also finding myself grappling to remember details because I'm sure I would have read this much closer had I picked it up physically, which is why I removed .5 stars. Nevertheless, I'm so glad this won the 카지노싸이트 award because it deserves it.
]]> Orphan Train 15818107 This is an alternate cover edition of ISBN 9780061950728, found here.

The author of Bird in Hand and The Way Life Should Be delivers her most ambitious and powerful novel to date: a captivating story of two very different women who build an unexpected friendship: a 91-year-old woman with a hidden past as an orphan-train rider and the teenage girl whose own troubled adolescence leads her to seek answers to questions no one has ever thought to ask.

Nearly eighteen, Molly Ayer knows she has one last chance. Just months from "aging out" of the child welfare system, and close to being kicked out of her foster home, a community service position helping an elderly woman clean out her home is the only thing keeping her out of juvie and worse.

Vivian Daly has lived a quiet life on the coast of Maine. But in her attic, hidden in trunks, are vestiges of a turbulent past. As she helps Vivian sort through her possessions and memories, Molly discovers that she and Vivian aren't as different as they seem to be. A young Irish immigrant orphaned in New York City, Vivian was put on a train to the Midwest with hundreds of other children whose destinies would be determined by luck and chance.

The closer Molly grows to Vivian, the more she discovers parallels to her own life. A Penobscot Indian, she, too, is an outsider being raised by strangers, and she, too, has unanswered questions about the past. As her emotional barriers begin to crumble, Molly discovers that she has the power to help Vivian find answers to mysteries that have haunted her for her entire life - answers that will ultimately free them both.

Rich in detail and epic in scope, Orphan Train is a powerful novel of upheaval and resilience, of second chances, of unexpected friendship, and of the secrets we carry that keep us from finding out who we are.]]> 278 Christina Baker Kline Whitney 4
I think this book had a lot of room to be fleshed out more--particularly Molly and Vivian's relationship seems strangely dry even though they're who the book revolves around. Still, this was a magnificent audiobook and not what I was expecting.]]> 4.18 2013 Orphan Train
author: Christina Baker Kline
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.18
book published: 2013
rating: 4
read at: 2018/02/18
date added: 2018/02/18
shelves: audiobook, made-me-cry, read-in-2018
review:
This seemed a solid three-star book to me throughout just because it was an engaging and well-done story, but I didn't find a particular attachment to the characters, nor did I see how the threads between the two perspectives wove together. It operated somewhat on the surface level, and though it was a sad story, I felt it played it very safe. I added a whole star for the last third of the book, though, when the stakes were raised and I had to put the book down because I was crying so much.

I think this book had a lot of room to be fleshed out more--particularly Molly and Vivian's relationship seems strangely dry even though they're who the book revolves around. Still, this was a magnificent audiobook and not what I was expecting.
]]> <![CDATA[The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry]]> 35906603
A. J. Fikry’s life is not at all what he expected it to be. His wife has died, his bookstore is experiencing the worst sales in its history, and now his prized possession, a rare collection of Poe poems, has been stolen. Slowly but surely, he is isolating himself from all the people of Alice Island—from Lambiase, the well-intentioned police officer who’s always felt kindly toward Fikry; from Ismay, his sister-in-law who is hell-bent on saving him from his dreary self; from Amelia, the lovely and idealistic (if eccentric) Knightley Press sales rep who keeps on taking the ferry over to Alice Island, refusing to be deterred by A.J.’s bad attitude. Even the books in his store have stopped holding pleasure for him. These days, A.J. can only see them as a sign of a world that is changing too rapidly.

And then a mysterious package appears at the bookstore. It’s a small package, but large in weight. It’s that unexpected arrival that gives A. J. Fikry the opportunity to make his life over, the ability to see everything anew. It doesn’t take long for the locals to notice the change overcoming A.J.; or for that determined sales rep, Amelia, to see her curmudgeonly client in a new light; or for the wisdom of all those books to become again the lifeblood of A.J.’s world; or for everything to twist again into a version of his life that he didn’t see coming. As surprising as it is moving, The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry is an unforgettable tale of transformation and second chances, an irresistible affirmation of why we read, and why we love.]]> 290 Gabrielle Zevin Whitney 5
This is another one of those books that has emotional parts to it but I don't ever cry until I finish it and close the book and the weight of it finally descends upon me. It's not a heavy story, but it's just so phenomenally done. It reads with the simplicity of a short story but still carries its own weight throughout the progression of the entire lifetime of its characters. And the characters were the best part about this--SO many threads came together and not one detail goes unwoven somewhere into this story. Nothing is meaningless. I loathe this book for how much I wish I could write like it.

I anticipate this book will be sticking with me for a long time. It was so heartfelt and although I questioned if it's truly deserving of 5 stars, the sheer structure of this and the mastery of connecting every little detail together was so precise, I had to give it the credit it deserves.]]> 4.24 2014 The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry
author: Gabrielle Zevin
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.24
book published: 2014
rating: 5
read at: 2018/01/09
date added: 2018/02/16
shelves: favs-of-2018, read-in-2018, made-me-cry
review:
When people would say, "Every book lover needs to read this book," I always thought it was such a stupid basis to recommend a book off of. Just because a book breaks a fourth wall and presents a story about a fellow book lover doesn't mean it's better than any other book out there. But after reading this book, I get it. I get it so much. This book is for every book lover. And I will never shame someone for recommending it on that front ever again. This story will truly connect to people who live and breathe books, much like the characters themselves. Even though I was like none of these characters, I saw myself in them nevertheless just because of our shared passion for literature.

This is another one of those books that has emotional parts to it but I don't ever cry until I finish it and close the book and the weight of it finally descends upon me. It's not a heavy story, but it's just so phenomenally done. It reads with the simplicity of a short story but still carries its own weight throughout the progression of the entire lifetime of its characters. And the characters were the best part about this--SO many threads came together and not one detail goes unwoven somewhere into this story. Nothing is meaningless. I loathe this book for how much I wish I could write like it.

I anticipate this book will be sticking with me for a long time. It was so heartfelt and although I questioned if it's truly deserving of 5 stars, the sheer structure of this and the mastery of connecting every little detail together was so precise, I had to give it the credit it deserves.
]]> The Song of Achilles 13623848 Alternate cover edition of ISBN 9780062060624.

Achilles, "the best of all the Greeks," son of the cruel sea goddess Thetis and the legendary king Peleus, is strong, swift, and beautiful, irresistible to all who meet him. Patroclus is an awkward young prince, exiled from his homeland after an act of shocking violence. Brought together by chance, they forge an inseparable bond, despite risking the gods' wrath.

They are trained by the centaur Chiron in the arts of war and medicine, but when word comes that Helen of Sparta has been kidnapped, all the heroes of Greece are called upon to lay siege to Troy in her name. Seduced by the promise of a glorious destiny, Achilles joins their cause, and torn between love and fear for his friend, Patroclus follows. Little do they know that the cruel Fates will test them both as never before and demand a terrible sacrifice.]]> 408 Madeline Miller Whitney 4
so wow. I've heard for years that this book is sad but so, so powerful, which I understand. I think it was a leeeeeettle overhyped for me, but it was still a magnificent read.

This story had such a great aesthetic. Set in ancient Greece but told through the lens of a quiet, conflicted main character. I thought it was beautiful. The writing, the way that Achilles is described, the first half of this book developing the characters was just absolutely gorgeous.

Then I began to have a lot of issues with it. Mainly, the whole middle section about the developing Trojan war was boring. Nothing was happening, there were too many characters with unpronouncable names, and Achilles turned into sort of a pompous ass. One of the main downfalls of this story is that it focuses so much on Achilles' honor, and that was so annoying to me. This book really emphasizes the flaws in characters, which I assume is why this was discussed so much, but it just irritated me that I was expecting a love story and there was actually a lot of underlying conflict between Patroclus and Achilles.

This is more of a war story and the development of individual characters than it is about a love story. That being said, I felt like the romance was a little bit on the dry side. I adored the two together, but at some points, the story just felt so drained of any emotion and it was like Miller was just slugging through a textbook saying "this happened then this happened then this happened." There were so many moments that I felt we could have taken a step back and added some more impactful imagery and dialogue to make a short scene more meaningful to the reader, but it ended up feeling so stretched thin because this book takes place over 12+ years.

Regardless, I cried throughout the last 50 pages of this book. It delivered the punchy ending I was anticipating, and it SLIGHTLY appeased the hatred I have for Achilles' mother. slightly. she's still a raging bitch but like...... a chill raging bitch.

(also just kill me so i never have to read that last paragraph ever again my chest hurts)]]> 4.29 2011 The Song of Achilles
author: Madeline Miller
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.29
book published: 2011
rating: 4
read at: 2017/06/08
date added: 2018/02/16
shelves: lgbtqiap, read-in-2017, favs-of-2017, made-me-cry, favorites
review:
I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.

so wow. I've heard for years that this book is sad but so, so powerful, which I understand. I think it was a leeeeeettle overhyped for me, but it was still a magnificent read.

This story had such a great aesthetic. Set in ancient Greece but told through the lens of a quiet, conflicted main character. I thought it was beautiful. The writing, the way that Achilles is described, the first half of this book developing the characters was just absolutely gorgeous.

Then I began to have a lot of issues with it. Mainly, the whole middle section about the developing Trojan war was boring. Nothing was happening, there were too many characters with unpronouncable names, and Achilles turned into sort of a pompous ass. One of the main downfalls of this story is that it focuses so much on Achilles' honor, and that was so annoying to me. This book really emphasizes the flaws in characters, which I assume is why this was discussed so much, but it just irritated me that I was expecting a love story and there was actually a lot of underlying conflict between Patroclus and Achilles.

This is more of a war story and the development of individual characters than it is about a love story. That being said, I felt like the romance was a little bit on the dry side. I adored the two together, but at some points, the story just felt so drained of any emotion and it was like Miller was just slugging through a textbook saying "this happened then this happened then this happened." There were so many moments that I felt we could have taken a step back and added some more impactful imagery and dialogue to make a short scene more meaningful to the reader, but it ended up feeling so stretched thin because this book takes place over 12+ years.

Regardless, I cried throughout the last 50 pages of this book. It delivered the punchy ending I was anticipating, and it SLIGHTLY appeased the hatred I have for Achilles' mother. slightly. she's still a raging bitch but like...... a chill raging bitch.

(also just kill me so i never have to read that last paragraph ever again my chest hurts)
]]> <![CDATA[Now I Rise (And I Darken Series, #2)]]> 22817331
After failing to secure the Wallachian throne, Lada Dracul is out to punish anyone who dares to cross her blood-strewn path. Filled with a white-hot rage, she storms the countryside with her men, accompanied by her childhood friend Bogdan, terrorizing the land. But brute force isn’t getting Lada what she wants. And thinking of Mehmed brings little comfort to her thorny heart. There’s no time to wonder whether he still thinks about her, even loves her. She left him before he could leave her.

What Lada needs is her younger brother Radu’s subtlety and skill. But Mehmed has sent him to Constantinople—and it’s no diplomatic mission. Mehmed wants control of the city, and Radu has earned an unwanted place as a double-crossing spy behind enemy lines. Radu longs for his sister’s fierce confidence—but for the first time in his life, he rejects her unexpected plea for help. Torn between loyalties to faith, to the Ottomans, and to Mehmed, he knows he owes Lada nothing. If she dies, he could never forgive himself—but if he fails in Constantinople, will Mehmed ever forgive him?

As nations fall around them, the Dracul siblings must decide: what will they sacrifice to fulfill their destinies? Empires will topple, thrones will be won…and souls will be lost.]]> 471 Kiersten White 0553522353 Whitney 4
This series continues to amaze me just because of its depth and scope. For a while I thought this book was just boring politics, but then I realized that it continues to play with the themes of identity and religion/culture. But in this book, it also questions loyalty and morality and it’s just??? so good????? I don’t want this to sound like I’m shitting on other YA books but this is seriously so thought-provoking and mature (not in its content, really, just that it tackles so many themes and creates such depth of characters) that I can’t believe more people don’t talk about it. The way that it tackles feelings of belonging and religion and loyalty are so impactful and strangely relatable even though this takes place 600 years ago. it’s just absolutely fascinating.

The biggest thing I admire about these books is how much they read like character studies. Lada and Radu are genuinely two of the most interesting characters in YA right now, in my opinion. AND PPL ARE SLEEPING ON IT!!! I cannot emphasize how much I adore Lada as a character. She is ruthless and doesn’t care about others’ opinions of her and does what she think is best for her and is so self-motivated and self-confident, AND YET there’s still this vulnerable and human side to her that craves validation and it makes her so real. And this passion and feeling isn’t even driven by romantic feelings—it’s about duty and feminism and family and morality and IT’S JUST SO GOOD SHE’S SUCH AN INTRICATE AND WELL-CRAFTED CHARACTER. Nothing about her is glossed over. She has periods, she has casual sex, she kills people who betray her, she cries, she is generous. I’m so impressed at the quality of her character.
And likewise for Radu. I just……. he’s incredible. The complete opposite of Lada. He wears his heart on his sleeve and he’s outwardly passionate and intelligent and emotional, but there’s a darker, melancholy side to him and his coming to terms with religion and feeling in-between cultures and his sexuality and his feelings of estrangement from his family. I was genuinely crying by the end of this book when he was having to justify being in war and feeling torn between the two cultures and not being able to escape with blood on his hands. i just want to hug him and wrap him in blankets.
And the two of these characters together in one book? As brother and sister? Working together? I’m hooked on every page. Even though they are separated throughout this entire book, I couldn’t choose whose POV was my favorite and I never wished they were together just so that the plot would be more interesting. It carried its own weight magnificently. The machinations of their brains drive the story despite their being apart and in this book, the angst and the tension continues to build. It’s addicting.

One of my only complaints is that it’s so hard to keep characters, nations, and events straight in this book. I don’t know much about Ottoman or European history, and not much is given explanation-wise. I mean, obviously there’s tension between Muslims and Christians, but I feel like White should have used the opportunity to make this more comprehensible by adding information about the countries and basic history that we should know, because I seriously always forget who’s fighting who and why and who is avenging who and why they died and why does Mehmed want to capture Constantinople and was Constantinople a real place and are these descriptions historically accurate? It pulled me out of the story to be constantly questioning what was happening. Is Constantinople in Turkey? If so, why are they fighting with the Ottomans? Why are there so many Italians? Is it in Italy? Do I have to google 15th century European geography just to understand this book? (Yes.) ((Also, googling Constantinople spoils the war in this book soooo))

[side note: the entire problem stated above could probably be solved with a bigger/better map]

One more thing that I think would have made this book stronger would have been the addition of Mehmed’s POV. I know the book is centralized on the Wallachian siblings for a reason and it would have been 100+ pages longer with the added perspective, but everyone is split up and I think it works, but knowing what’s going on with the Ottomans would round out the story and help the readers reason with how they should feel about Mehmed, because he’s in a very grey area in this book. He’s the link between the two siblings, a romantic love interest, and the leader of a powerful empire, but for the majority of this book, i wasn’t sure if i was supposed to be rooting for him or not.

This is such a slow-burning but strong series. I highly, highly recommend it. It contains some of the most dynamic, fleshed-out characters I’ve ever read in YA, on the level of Cassie Clare & Maggie Stiefvater. Don’t let the slowness of the plot and thickness of the books deceive you.]]> 4.20 2017 Now I Rise (And I Darken Series, #2)
author: Kiersten White
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.20
book published: 2017
rating: 4
read at: 2017/12/16
date added: 2018/02/16
shelves: audiobook, favs-of-2017, lgbtqiap, read-in-2017, made-me-cry, favorites
review:
4.5 stars

This series continues to amaze me just because of its depth and scope. For a while I thought this book was just boring politics, but then I realized that it continues to play with the themes of identity and religion/culture. But in this book, it also questions loyalty and morality and it’s just??? so good????? I don’t want this to sound like I’m shitting on other YA books but this is seriously so thought-provoking and mature (not in its content, really, just that it tackles so many themes and creates such depth of characters) that I can’t believe more people don’t talk about it. The way that it tackles feelings of belonging and religion and loyalty are so impactful and strangely relatable even though this takes place 600 years ago. it’s just absolutely fascinating.

The biggest thing I admire about these books is how much they read like character studies. Lada and Radu are genuinely two of the most interesting characters in YA right now, in my opinion. AND PPL ARE SLEEPING ON IT!!! I cannot emphasize how much I adore Lada as a character. She is ruthless and doesn’t care about others’ opinions of her and does what she think is best for her and is so self-motivated and self-confident, AND YET there’s still this vulnerable and human side to her that craves validation and it makes her so real. And this passion and feeling isn’t even driven by romantic feelings—it’s about duty and feminism and family and morality and IT’S JUST SO GOOD SHE’S SUCH AN INTRICATE AND WELL-CRAFTED CHARACTER. Nothing about her is glossed over. She has periods, she has casual sex, she kills people who betray her, she cries, she is generous. I’m so impressed at the quality of her character.
And likewise for Radu. I just……. he’s incredible. The complete opposite of Lada. He wears his heart on his sleeve and he’s outwardly passionate and intelligent and emotional, but there’s a darker, melancholy side to him and his coming to terms with religion and feeling in-between cultures and his sexuality and his feelings of estrangement from his family. I was genuinely crying by the end of this book when he was having to justify being in war and feeling torn between the two cultures and not being able to escape with blood on his hands. i just want to hug him and wrap him in blankets.
And the two of these characters together in one book? As brother and sister? Working together? I’m hooked on every page. Even though they are separated throughout this entire book, I couldn’t choose whose POV was my favorite and I never wished they were together just so that the plot would be more interesting. It carried its own weight magnificently. The machinations of their brains drive the story despite their being apart and in this book, the angst and the tension continues to build. It’s addicting.

One of my only complaints is that it’s so hard to keep characters, nations, and events straight in this book. I don’t know much about Ottoman or European history, and not much is given explanation-wise. I mean, obviously there’s tension between Muslims and Christians, but I feel like White should have used the opportunity to make this more comprehensible by adding information about the countries and basic history that we should know, because I seriously always forget who’s fighting who and why and who is avenging who and why they died and why does Mehmed want to capture Constantinople and was Constantinople a real place and are these descriptions historically accurate? It pulled me out of the story to be constantly questioning what was happening. Is Constantinople in Turkey? If so, why are they fighting with the Ottomans? Why are there so many Italians? Is it in Italy? Do I have to google 15th century European geography just to understand this book? (Yes.) ((Also, googling Constantinople spoils the war in this book soooo))

[side note: the entire problem stated above could probably be solved with a bigger/better map]

One more thing that I think would have made this book stronger would have been the addition of Mehmed’s POV. I know the book is centralized on the Wallachian siblings for a reason and it would have been 100+ pages longer with the added perspective, but everyone is split up and I think it works, but knowing what’s going on with the Ottomans would round out the story and help the readers reason with how they should feel about Mehmed, because he’s in a very grey area in this book. He’s the link between the two siblings, a romantic love interest, and the leader of a powerful empire, but for the majority of this book, i wasn’t sure if i was supposed to be rooting for him or not.

This is such a slow-burning but strong series. I highly, highly recommend it. It contains some of the most dynamic, fleshed-out characters I’ve ever read in YA, on the level of Cassie Clare & Maggie Stiefvater. Don’t let the slowness of the plot and thickness of the books deceive you.
]]> We Are the Ants 23677341 The Five Stages of Andrew Brawley comes a brand-new novel about a teenage boy who must decide whether or not the world is worth saving.

Henry Denton has spent years being periodically abducted by aliens. Then the aliens give him an ultimatum: The world will end in 144 days, and all Henry has to do to stop it is push a big red button.

Only he isn’t sure he wants to.

After all, life hasn’t been great for Henry. His mom is a struggling waitress held together by a thin layer of cigarette smoke. His brother is a jobless dropout who just knocked someone up. His grandmother is slowly losing herself to Alzheimer’s. And Henry is still dealing with the grief of his boyfriend’s suicide last year.

Wiping the slate clean sounds like a pretty good choice to him.

But Henry is a scientist first, and facing the question thoroughly and logically, he begins to look for pros and cons: in the bully who is his perpetual one-night stand, in the best friend who betrayed him, in the brilliant and mysterious boy who walked into the wrong class. Weighing the pain and the joy that surrounds him, Henry is left with the ultimate choice: push the button and save the planet and everyone on it…or let the world—and his pain—be destroyed forever.]]> 455 Shaun David Hutchinson 148144963X Whitney 4
This book was refreshingly funny and raw—and not the type of male narrative that’s too crude or uncomfortable. However, the more it went on, the more flaws I began to notice.

First of all, I loved Henry's story. It's a mental health plot confined in this weird sci-fi/contemporary hybrid, and even though it's really open-ended, it somehow works. I like the philosophy of "Is the world worth saving?" from the perspective of a depressed teen, and this book is a great reminder of seeing perspective. Although this concept is neat, it isn't entirely new & revolutionary to me. Regardless, Henry's inner turmoil often brought tears to my eyes.

Usually when there’s severe bullying in a YA book I find it just a bit exaggerated because it’s outside my experience, but this hit me so hard. I had to put the book down at certain points to hold back tears and fight through my anger for Marcus and all the other assholes in his school. At one point I was listening to music while reading this and Car Radio came on and I just had to stop and cry. It’s all too much. I wrote this paragraph when I was only 200 pages into the book, though, and I will say that some of the bullying elements did start to straddle the line of being unrealistic. (basically, Henry gets beat up a TON in this book)

It's an emotional and impactful read, and yet there were times that I was ready for it to be done. I have a ~thing~ about YA contemporary books that are over 400 pages, because I just hit a wall and start skim reading parts I don't care about. In this, some dialogue is cliché and some of the characters would have the conversation three or four times in different settings/variations. Some parts to it just felt so randomly fitted in, like entire subplots that hinted at having significance but didn't really wrap up nicely. And that was also a disappointment--the ending is so abrupt.

So although it's a nice story and I thought the sci-fi elements folded into it nicely and created a good metaphor for depression, I felt it lost some of its power in the repetitiveness/length/unoriginality of it. It stands out amongst other contemporaries, but even writing this review I already feel it losing some of its luster that I noticed as I read it.]]> 4.12 2016 We Are the Ants
author: Shaun David Hutchinson
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.12
book published: 2016
rating: 4
read at: 2018/01/11
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: lgbtqiap, read-in-2018, made-me-cry
review:
TW: Suicide, self harm (mention), nihilism, severe bullying & physical assault, attempted rape

This book was refreshingly funny and raw—and not the type of male narrative that’s too crude or uncomfortable. However, the more it went on, the more flaws I began to notice.

First of all, I loved Henry's story. It's a mental health plot confined in this weird sci-fi/contemporary hybrid, and even though it's really open-ended, it somehow works. I like the philosophy of "Is the world worth saving?" from the perspective of a depressed teen, and this book is a great reminder of seeing perspective. Although this concept is neat, it isn't entirely new & revolutionary to me. Regardless, Henry's inner turmoil often brought tears to my eyes.

Usually when there’s severe bullying in a YA book I find it just a bit exaggerated because it’s outside my experience, but this hit me so hard. I had to put the book down at certain points to hold back tears and fight through my anger for Marcus and all the other assholes in his school. At one point I was listening to music while reading this and Car Radio came on and I just had to stop and cry. It’s all too much. I wrote this paragraph when I was only 200 pages into the book, though, and I will say that some of the bullying elements did start to straddle the line of being unrealistic. (basically, Henry gets beat up a TON in this book)

It's an emotional and impactful read, and yet there were times that I was ready for it to be done. I have a ~thing~ about YA contemporary books that are over 400 pages, because I just hit a wall and start skim reading parts I don't care about. In this, some dialogue is cliché and some of the characters would have the conversation three or four times in different settings/variations. Some parts to it just felt so randomly fitted in, like entire subplots that hinted at having significance but didn't really wrap up nicely. And that was also a disappointment--the ending is so abrupt.

So although it's a nice story and I thought the sci-fi elements folded into it nicely and created a good metaphor for depression, I felt it lost some of its power in the repetitiveness/length/unoriginality of it. It stands out amongst other contemporaries, but even writing this review I already feel it losing some of its luster that I noticed as I read it.
]]> <![CDATA[Orange: The Complete Collection, Volume 1]]> 25667474 A Plea From the Future

On the day that Naho begins 11th grade, she receives a letter from herself ten years in the future. At first, she writes it off as a prank, but as the letter’s predictions come true one by one, Naho realizes that the letter might be the real deal. Her future self tells Naho that a new transfer student, a boy named Kakeru, will soon join her class. The letter begs Naho to watch over him, saying that only Naho can save Kakeru from a terrible future. Who is this mystery boy, and can Naho save him from his destiny? This is the heart-wrenching sci-fi romance that has over million copies in print in Japan!]]> 523 Ichigo Takano 1626923027 Whitney 4
I loved the characters in this. Although I got their names confused for about the first half, they each had such dynamic personalities and I grew to love everyone individually. The story is so cool because it toys with the idea of time travel and if people can prevent tragedy from striking, and I think it's such a fantastic story of friendship. I can't wait to pick up the second volume.

The reason I marked off a star is because I thought several places were a little bit too in-your-face. Particularly, Naho's inner monologue was often cheesy with super hyperbolic rhetorical questions that were almost silly in their cheesiness? Like someone would be nice to her and she would then be like "I wonder why they're being nice to me?!" and you just want to shake her and be like THEY !! LIKE !! YOU !!

But that being said, I would love to see her grow into her skin in future volumes. I think her relationship with Kakeru is sweet and charming.]]> 4.43 2016 Orange: The Complete Collection, Volume 1
author: Ichigo Takano
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.43
book published: 2016
rating: 4
read at: 2017/07/10
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: read-in-2017, graphic-novels, made-me-cry
review:
This is the first manga i've read and i'm so stoked! I loved it! I thought I would have much more trouble acclimating to the backwards reading style, but it was surprisingly easy to get accustomed to and I found it easier to read than some graphic novels that I've read. That being said, I think this manga is a great entry point to the genre for anyone because it's modern, the art is really really cute, and the storyline is easy to follow yet still interesting and fun!

I loved the characters in this. Although I got their names confused for about the first half, they each had such dynamic personalities and I grew to love everyone individually. The story is so cool because it toys with the idea of time travel and if people can prevent tragedy from striking, and I think it's such a fantastic story of friendship. I can't wait to pick up the second volume.

The reason I marked off a star is because I thought several places were a little bit too in-your-face. Particularly, Naho's inner monologue was often cheesy with super hyperbolic rhetorical questions that were almost silly in their cheesiness? Like someone would be nice to her and she would then be like "I wonder why they're being nice to me?!" and you just want to shake her and be like THEY !! LIKE !! YOU !!

But that being said, I would love to see her grow into her skin in future volumes. I think her relationship with Kakeru is sweet and charming.
]]> <![CDATA[Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town]]> 25852817
From bestselling author Jon Krakauer, a stark, powerful, meticulously reported narrative about a series of sexual assaults at the University of Montana ­— stories that illuminate the human drama behind the national plague of campus rape
 
Missoula, Montana, is a typical college town, with a highly regarded state university, bucolic surroundings, a lively social scene, and an excellent football team — the Grizzlies — with a rabid fan base.
 
The Department of Justice investigated 350 sexual assaults reported to the Missoula police between January 2008 and May 2012. Few of these assaults were properly handled by either the university or local authorities. In this, Missoula is also typical.
 
A DOJ report released in December of 2014 estimates 110,000 women between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four are raped each year. Krakauer’s devastating narrative of what happened in Missoula makes clear why rape is so prevalent on American campuses, and why rape victims are so reluctant to report assault.
 
Acquaintance rape is a crime like no other. Unlike burglary or embezzlement or any other felony, the victim often comes under more suspicion than the alleged perpetrator. This is especially true if the victim is sexually active; if she had been drinking prior to the assault — and if the man she accuses plays on a popular sports team. The vanishingly small but highly publicized incidents of false accusations are often used to dismiss her claims in the press. If the case goes to trial, the woman’s entire personal life becomes fair game for defense attorneys.
 
This brutal reality goes a long way towards explaining why acquaintance rape is the most underreported crime in America. In addition to physical trauma, its victims often suffer devastating psychological damage that leads to feelings of shame, emotional paralysis and stigmatization. PTSD rates for rape victims are estimated to be 50%, higher than soldiers returning from war.
 
In Missoula, Krakauer chronicles the searing experiences of several women in Missoula — the nights when they were raped; their fear and self-doubt in the aftermath; the way they were treated by the police, prosecutors, defense attorneys; the public vilification and private anguish; their bravery in pushing forward and what it cost them.
 
Some of them went to the police. Some declined to go to the police, or to press charges, but sought redress from the university, which has its own, non-criminal judicial process when a student is accused of rape. In two cases the police agreed to press charges and the district attorney agreed to prosecute. One case led to a conviction; one to an acquittal. Those women courageous enough to press charges or to speak publicly about their experiences were attacked in the media, on Grizzly football fan sites, and/or to their faces. The university expelled three of the accused rapists, but one was reinstated by state officials in a secret proceeding. One district attorney testified for an alleged rapist at his university hearing. She later left the prosecutor’s office and successfully defended the Grizzlies’ star quarterback in his rape trial. The horror of being raped, in each woman’s case, was magnified by the mechanics of the justice system and the reaction of the community.
 
Krakauer’s dispassionate, carefully documented account of what these women endured cuts through the abstract ideological debate about campus rape. College-age women are not raped because they are promiscuous, or drunk, or send mixed signals, or feel guilty about casual sex, or seek attention. They are the victims of a terrible crime and deserving of compassion from society and fairness from a justice system that is clearly broken. ]]> 416 Jon Krakauer 0804170568 Whitney 3
This would have been 4 stars but it got very dry near the end. I loved how informative this is and for the most part is was very impactful and dark and an important read, but the legal process took up a huge chunk of this book and although I know it's important to understand how the justice system works in order to perceive its corruption, I had to skim some of those parts. However, I thought the women's stories were very brave and I hope this book doesn't scare people away from reporting rape because this was infuriating and it made me want to march to Missoula to protest a few of the people there who repeatedly and vehemently supported the rapists.]]> 4.30 2015 Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town
author: Jon Krakauer
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.30
book published: 2015
rating: 3
read at: 2016/11/21
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: feminism, for-class, made-me-cry
review:
3.5 stars

This would have been 4 stars but it got very dry near the end. I loved how informative this is and for the most part is was very impactful and dark and an important read, but the legal process took up a huge chunk of this book and although I know it's important to understand how the justice system works in order to perceive its corruption, I had to skim some of those parts. However, I thought the women's stories were very brave and I hope this book doesn't scare people away from reporting rape because this was infuriating and it made me want to march to Missoula to protest a few of the people there who repeatedly and vehemently supported the rapists.
]]> <![CDATA[The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories]]> 18143905
Marina Keegan’s star was on the rise when she graduated magna cum laude from Yale in May 2012. She had a play that was to be produced at the New York International Fringe Festival and a job waiting for her at the New Yorker. Tragically, five days after graduation, Marina died in a car crash.

As her family, friends, and classmates, deep in grief, joined to create a memorial service for Marina, her unforgettable last essay for the Yale Daily News, “The Opposite of Loneliness,” went viral, receiving more than 1.4 million hits. She had struck a chord.

Even though she was just twenty-two when she died, Marina left behind a rich, expansive trove of prose that, like her title essay, captures the hope, uncertainty, and possibility of her generation. The Opposite of Loneliness is an assem­blage of Marina’s essays and stories that, like The Last Lecture, articulates the universal struggle that all of us face as we figure out what we aspire to be and how we can harness our talents to make an impact on the world.]]> 208 Marina Keegan 147675361X Whitney 5 3.86 2014 The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories
author: Marina Keegan
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.86
book published: 2014
rating: 5
read at: 2015/11/06
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: favorites, read-in-2015, made-me-cry
review:
One of the best books i've ever read. Some of the most beautiful writing i've experienced. Some of these quotes gave me chills so bad I had to stop reading. A few of these stories lost my interest, but the ones that blew my mind made up for it. A book that deserves every award and every 5 stars in the world.
]]> <![CDATA[In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl's Journey to Freedom]]> 24611623 273 Yeonmi Park 1594206791 Whitney 4
everything hurts and i'm crying

This book just makes you take 10 seats. It's a story I can't even fathom being in. It's like an actual dystopia. Everything was so outrageous and haunting that it was almost unbelievable.

What I found myself enjoying was not just Yeonmi finding physical freedom outside the borders of North Korea and the human trafficking industry, but the mental freedom of learning how to be opinionated and advocating for others' rights. This book is so touching, but so sad.

I took off half a star because although it was an interesting story, the writing wasn't particularly beautiful and flowing, it was just okay. Because of that, it took me a little bit longer to read because it takes longer to get into, but it's not like it's a major issue because after all, english is practically her third language.]]> 4.45 2015 In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl's Journey to Freedom
author: Yeonmi Park
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.45
book published: 2015
rating: 4
read at: 2017/06/25
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: memoir, read-in-2017, made-me-cry
review:
4.5 stars

everything hurts and i'm crying

This book just makes you take 10 seats. It's a story I can't even fathom being in. It's like an actual dystopia. Everything was so outrageous and haunting that it was almost unbelievable.

What I found myself enjoying was not just Yeonmi finding physical freedom outside the borders of North Korea and the human trafficking industry, but the mental freedom of learning how to be opinionated and advocating for others' rights. This book is so touching, but so sad.

I took off half a star because although it was an interesting story, the writing wasn't particularly beautiful and flowing, it was just okay. Because of that, it took me a little bit longer to read because it takes longer to get into, but it's not like it's a major issue because after all, english is practically her third language.
]]> <![CDATA[A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier]]> 43015
My new friends have begun to suspect I haven’t told them the full story of my life.
“Why did you leave Sierra Leone?”
“Because there is a war.”
“You mean, you saw people running around with guns and shooting each other?”
“Yes, all the time.”
“Cool.”
I smile a little.
“You should tell us about it sometime.”
“Yes, sometime.”

This is how wars are fought now: by children, hopped-up on drugs and wielding AK-47s. Children have become soldiers of choice. In the more than fifty conflicts going on worldwide, it is estimated that there are some 300,000 child soldiers. Ishmael Beah used to be one of them.

What is war like through the eyes of a child soldier? How does one become a killer? How does one stop? Child soldiers have been profiled by journalists, and novelists have struggled to imagine their lives. But until now, there has not been a first-person account from someone who came through this hell and survived.

In A Long Way Gone, Beah, now twenty-five years old, tells a riveting story: how at the age of twelve, he fled attacking rebels and wandered a land rendered unrecognizable by violence. By thirteen, he’d been picked up by the government army, and Beah, at heart a gentle boy, found that he was capable of truly terrible acts.

This is a rare and mesmerizing account, told with real literary force and heartbreaking honesty.]]> 229 Ishmael Beah 0374105235 Whitney 4
TW: Violence/gore, rape, drug abuse

This book reminded me of Between Shades of Grey by Ruta Sepetys, not because their subject matter is anything alike, but because I had the same reaction to both books. Throughout the duration of the book it was very impactful and heavy, and I may have shed a tear or two, but as soon as I closed the book the weight of it just fell upon me and it made me start crying in full.

Wow. This book is truly unlike anything I've read before. I can't even fathom the life that Ishmael has lived through, and his bravery for telling his story. This book was educational, this book was heart-wrenching, this book was touching, this book was amazing. As far as memoirs go, this will definitely be a memorable one.]]> 4.16 2007 A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier
author: Ishmael Beah
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.16
book published: 2007
rating: 4
read at: 2017/05/26
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: memoir, read-in-2017, made-me-cry
review:
4.5 Stars

TW: Violence/gore, rape, drug abuse

This book reminded me of Between Shades of Grey by Ruta Sepetys, not because their subject matter is anything alike, but because I had the same reaction to both books. Throughout the duration of the book it was very impactful and heavy, and I may have shed a tear or two, but as soon as I closed the book the weight of it just fell upon me and it made me start crying in full.

Wow. This book is truly unlike anything I've read before. I can't even fathom the life that Ishmael has lived through, and his bravery for telling his story. This book was educational, this book was heart-wrenching, this book was touching, this book was amazing. As far as memoirs go, this will definitely be a memorable one.
]]> <![CDATA[The Assassin's Blade (Throne of Glass, #0.1-0.5)]]> 18594430 Discover where Celaena Sardothien's thrilling saga began.

Celaena Sardothien is her kingdom's most feared assassin. Though she works for the powerful and ruthless Assassin's Guild, Celaena yields to no-one and trusts only her fellow killer-for-hire, Sam.

When Celaena's scheming master, Arobynn Hamel, dispatches her on missions that take her from remote islands to hostile deserts, she finds herself acting independently of his wishes—and questioning her own allegiance. Along the way, she makes friends and enemies alike, and discovers that she feels far more for Sam than just friendship. But by defying Arobynn's orders, Celaena risks unimaginable punishment, and with Sam by her side, he is in danger, too. They will have to risk it all if they hope to escape Arobynn's clutches—and if they fail, they'll lose not just a chance at freedom, but their lives...

A prequel to Throne of Glass, this collection of five novellas offers listeners a deeper look into the history of this cunning assassin and her enthralling—and deadly—world.

Included in this volume:

The Assassin and the Pirate Lord
The Assassin and the Healer
The Assassin and the Desert
The Assassin and the Underworld
The Assassin and the Empire]]> 435 Sarah J. Maas 1619633612 Whitney 5 read-in-2015, made-me-cry 4.25 2014 The Assassin's Blade (Throne of Glass, #0.1-0.5)
author: Sarah J. Maas
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.25
book published: 2014
rating: 5
read at: 2015/09/06
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: read-in-2015, made-me-cry
review:
i dont want to talk about my feelings right now i need a couple weeks to process this
]]> Allegiant (Divergent, #3) 17383918
But Tris's new reality is even more alarming than the one she left behind. Old discoveries are quickly rendered meaningless. Explosive new truths change the hearts of those she loves. And once again, Tris must battle to comprehend to complexities of human nature - and of herself - while facing impossible choices about courage, allegiance, sacrifice, and love.

Told from a riveting dual perspective, ALLEGIANT, by #1 New York Times best-selling author Veronica Roth, brings the DIVERGENT series to a powerful conclusion while revealing the secrets of the dystopian world that has captivated millions of readers in DIVERGENT and INSURGENT.]]> 526 Veronica Roth 006202406X Whitney 2 I keep thinking about this book and hearing opinions about it and stuff and it makes me so much more upset each time. Knocking the rating down to 2 stars because I keep thinking i've been giving it too much credit. I am disliking this book more and more.

EDIT 10/16
Redoing my rating because when I finished it my head wasn't clear.

i can't review this, guys.

it's too much, i'm sorry.]]> 3.51 2013 Allegiant (Divergent, #3)
author: Veronica Roth
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.51
book published: 2013
rating: 2
read at: 2013/10/24
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: the-worst, read-in-2013, made-me-cry
review:
EDIT 11/13
I keep thinking about this book and hearing opinions about it and stuff and it makes me so much more upset each time. Knocking the rating down to 2 stars because I keep thinking i've been giving it too much credit. I am disliking this book more and more.

EDIT 10/16
Redoing my rating because when I finished it my head wasn't clear.

i can't review this, guys.

it's too much, i'm sorry.
]]> <![CDATA[City of Glass (The Mortal Instruments, #3)]]> 3777732 Also see: Alternate Cover Editions for this ISBN [ACE]
ACE #1

To save her mother's life, Clary must travel to the City of Glass, the ancestral home of the Shadowhunters - never mind that entering the city without permission is against the Law, and breaking the Law could mean death. To make things worse, she learns that Jace does not want her there, and Simon has been thrown in prison by the Shadowhunters, who are deeply suspicious of a vampire who can withstand sunlight.

As Clary uncovers more about her family's past, she finds an ally in mysterious Shadowhunter Sebastian. With Valentine mustering the full force of his power to destroy all Shadowhunters forever, their only chance to defeat him is to fight alongside their eternal enemies. But can Downworlders and Shadowhunters put aside their hatred to work together? While Jace realizes exactly how much he's willing to risk for Clary, can she harness her newfound powers to help save the Glass City - whatever the cost?

Love is a mortal sin and the secrets of the past prove deadly as Clary and Jace face down Valentine in the third installment of the New York Times bestselling series The Mortal Instruments.]]> 541 Cassandra Clare 1416914307 Whitney 5 read-in-2013, made-me-cry 4.27 2009 City of Glass (The Mortal Instruments, #3)
author: Cassandra Clare
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.27
book published: 2009
rating: 5
read at: 2013/08/31
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: read-in-2013, made-me-cry
review:

]]> <![CDATA[Clockwork Princess (The Infernal Devices, #3)]]> 18335634
THE INFERNAL DEVICES WILL NEVER STOP COMING

A net of shadows begins to tighten around the Shadowhunters of the London Institute. Mortmain plans to use his Infernal Devices, an army of pitiless automatons, to destroy the Shadowhunters. He needs only one last item to complete his plan: he needs Tessa Gray.

Charlotte Branwell, head of the London Institute, is desperate to find Mortmain before he strikes. But when Mortmain abducts Tessa, the boys who lay equal claim to her heart, Jem and Will, will do anything to save her. For though Tessa and Jem are now engaged, Will is as much in love with her as ever.

As those who love Tessa rally to rescue her from Mortmain’s clutches, Tessa realizes that the only person who can save her is herself. But can a single girl, even one who can command the power of angels, face down an entire army?

Danger and betrayal, secrets and enchantment, and the tangled threads of love and loss intertwine as the Shadowhunters are pushed to the very brink of destruction in the breathtaking conclusion to the Infernal Devices trilogy.]]> 567 Cassandra Clare 1406321346 Whitney 5 read-in-2013, made-me-cry 4.55 2013 Clockwork Princess (The Infernal Devices, #3)
author: Cassandra Clare
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.55
book published: 2013
rating: 5
read at: 2013/11/03
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: read-in-2013, made-me-cry
review:
just when i thought it was impossible for me to have any more hatred for cassie...
]]> <![CDATA[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Harry Potter, #7)]]> 136251
In this final, seventh installment of the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling unveils in spectacular fashion the answers to the many questions that have been so eagerly awaited.]]> 759 J.K. Rowling Whitney 5 4.61 2007 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Harry Potter, #7)
author: J.K. Rowling
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.61
book published: 2007
rating: 5
read at: 2015/01/26
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: read-in-2015, childrens, made-me-cry
review:

]]> The Last Song 6400090 Alternate Cover Edition can be found here

Seventeen-year-old Veronica 'Ronnie' Miller’s life was turned upside-down when her parents divorced and her father moved from New York City to Wilmington, North Carolina. Three years later, she remains angry and alienated from her parents, especially her father . . . until her mother decides it would be in everyone’s best interest if she spent the summer in Wilmington with him. Ronnie’s father, a former concert pianist and teacher, is living a quiet life in the beach town, immersed in creating a work of art that will become the centerpiece of a local church.

The tale that unfolds is an unforgettable story about love in its myriad forms - first love, the love between parents and children - that demonstrates, as only a Nicholas Sparks novel can, the many ways that deeply felt relationships can break our hearts . . . and heal them.]]> 390 Nicholas Sparks 0446547565 Whitney 5 4.16 2009 The Last Song
author: Nicholas Sparks
name: Whitney
average rating: 4.16
book published: 2009
rating: 5
read at: 2012/01/01
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: favorites, read-before-booktube, made-me-cry
review:

]]> <![CDATA[New Moon (The Twilight Saga, #2)]]> 49041 There is an alternate cover edition for ISBN13 9780316160193 here.

I knew we were both in mortal danger. Still, in that instant, I felt well. Whole. I could feel my heart racing in my chest, the blood pulsing hot and fast through my veins again. My lungs filled deep with the sweet scent that came off his skin. It was like there had never been any hole in my chest. I was perfect - not healed, but as if there had never been a wound in the first place.

I FELT LIKE I WAS TRAPPED IN ONE OF THOSE TERRIFYING NIGHTMARES, the one where you have to run, run till your lungs burst, but you can't make your body move fast enough.... But this was no dream, and, unlike the nightmare, I wasn't running for my life; I was racing to save something infinitely more precious. My own life meant little to me today.

FOR BELLA SWAN THERE IS ONE THING more important than life itself: Edward Cullen. But being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous than Bella could ever have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire, but now, as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them, they realize their troubles may be just beginning....

LEGIONS OF READERS ENTRANCED BY THE New York Times bestseller Twilight are hungry for the continuing story of star-crossed lovers Bell and Edward. In New Moon, Stephanie Meyer delivers another irresistible combination of romance and suspense with a supernatural spin. passionate, riveting, and full of surprising twists and turns, this vampire love saga is well on its way to literary immortality.]]> 563 Stephenie Meyer 0316160199 Whitney 2 3.61 2006 New Moon (The Twilight Saga, #2)
author: Stephenie Meyer
name: Whitney
average rating: 3.61
book published: 2006
rating: 2
read at: 2012/01/01
date added: 2018/02/07
shelves: read-before-booktube, need-to-reread, made-me-cry
review:

]]>