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Unbecoming
Three women - three secrets - one heart-stopping story.Katie, seventeen, in love with someone whose identity she can't reveal.Her mother Caroline, uptight, worn out and about to find the past catching up with her.Katie's grandmother, Mary, back with the family after years of mysterious absence and 'capable of anything', despite suffering from Alzheimers.As Katie cares for an elderly woman who brings daily chaos to her life, she finds herself drawn to her. Rules get broken as allegiances shift. Is Mary contagious? Is 'badness' genetic?In confronting the past, Katie is forced to seize the present. As Mary slowly unravels and family secrets are revealed, Katie learns to live and finally dares to love.Funny, sad, honest and wise, Unbecoming is a celebration of life, and learning to honour your own stories.
437 pages, Paperback
First published September 3, 2015
175 people are currently reading
7286 people want to read
About the author
Jenny Downham
16 books1,031 followersJenny Downham (born 1964) is a British novelist and an ex-actor. In her first book, Before I Die, the fictional account of the last few months of a sixteen-year-old girl who has been dying of leukemia for 4 years. The book is told in the first person. The book was acclaimed and was short-listed for the 2007 Guardian Award and the 2008 Lancashire Children's Book of the Year, nominated for the 2008 Carnegie Medal and the 2008 Booktrust Teenage Prize, and won the 2008 Branford Boase Award.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 674 reviews
March 18, 2016
“She watches the tears drip onto her skirt and spread like flowers and she knows this is the end of every future she’s ever imagined for herself.”
Do you like family dramas? Do you like those books that portray characters in such a way that they feel completely real and honest? Because this book won't be for everyone - certainly not those looking for something fast-paced and driven by melodrama - but I found it so beautiful. A sensitive family portrait wrapped up in secrets and misunderstandings.
shows three generations of women, each grappling with their own past and problems. The author goes into great detail about their lives, their flaws, and their mistakes, making them deserving of sympathy AND realistically imperfect human beings.
Mary is an elderly woman who suffers from Alzheimer's but still knows she is unwelcome in her daughter's home; through flashbacks, journals and letters, her youth is revealed, showing that all may not be as it seemed. Caroline is Mary's daughter, but she has never considered Mary her mother. She smothers her children with behaviour she believes is protective, whilst also keeping secrets about her own childhood. And then there's seventeen year-old Katie, a girl trying to come to terms with her sexuality.
I guess some people will find this kind of realistic storytelling slow, but I found it subtle, honest and all the more powerful because of it. It’s noticeably lacking in melodrama - the Alzheimer’s is portrayed accurately and sensitively, without being used as an excuse for emotional manipulation; Katie’s sexuality brings her uncertainty and worry, but it is not an angst machine.
And yet, the characters feel so incredibly real. I can't stress that enough. It's truly difficult to believe that they aren't out there, somewhere, living their lives. I think that's because I understood everyone’s reactions and felt like it was a true representation of exactly how someone would act in those circumstances.
The flashbacks to the past, unlike some novels, were exciting, enlightening and occasionally sad. I loved delving into Mary's youth and I thought the two different views of her - as a fiery, spirited young woman with ambitions and a "reputation", and also a no less fiery elderly woman with Alzheimer's - was its own subtle kind of sadness.
Often I think the saddest, most emotional kind of books are not those with dramatic scenes of death and heartbreak, but those with a quiet kind of honesty. The kind that show the everyday truths of life.
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February 13, 2017
JENNY JENNY JENNYYYYYYYYY
April 4, 2016
This story reminded me of Melina Marchetta's multi-generational family dramas. There are many family secrets and unresolved conflicts here, a lot of pain and misunderstanding. Luckily the narrative doesn't tip over into sappy melodrama, but stays sincere and gentle. Excellent portrayal of Alzheimer's too.
July 13, 2016
“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.”
----Tia Walker
Jenny Downham, a British novelist, pens an incredibly honest family drama surrounding three generations of women in her new young adult book, Unbecoming that narrates the story of a young teenager who had no idea that she had a grandmother, until the day when her grandmother comes to live with her and her mum, who it seems never ever talked about her, thus opening the floodgates to some painful memories both in the grandmother's as well as in the teenager's mother's past that they have buried deep under piles of happy memories.
Synopsis:
Katie is seventeen and in love with someone whose identity she’s afraid to reveal.
Caroline, Katie’s mother, is uptight, worn out, and about to find the past catching up with her.
Mary, Katie’s grandmother, suffers from Alzheimer’s and suddenly appears after years of mysterious absence.
As Katie cares for an elderly woman who brings daily chaos to her life, she finds herself drawn to the grandmother she never knew she had. Rules get broken as allegiances shift. Is Mary contagious? Is “badness” genetic?
In confronting the past, Katie is forced to seize the present. As Mary slowly unravels and family secrets are revealed, Katie learns to live and finally dares to love.
Unbecoming is a vivid and exhilarating celebration of life and learning to honor your own story, infused with jenny Downham’s signature warmth, humor, and wisdom.
Mary, an old, Alzheimer suffering lady, has finally gone back to the place where she has forever dreaded to live, her daughter, Caroline's house. Caroline is not at all happy with the fact that her mother, whom she has forever kept as a secret from her children, is coming to live with her and her daughter, Katie and son. Katie is the 17 year old dreamer who is in love with a someone about whom she is afraid to discuss about, especially with her mother, and now that her grandmother, who never existed, suddenly shows up at her doorstep. And gradually, a sweet and innocent friendship blooms between Mary and Katie, as they learn to trust each other and finally feels comfortable enough to trade their secrets both from past and present among themselves. But it is difficult for Caroline to accept the past of Mary and Katie's present day affairs?
It is possible to carve out a family drama full of emotional tug-of-war without any dramatic undertone or sentiments or cliched feelings? Well I believe its hardly possible as without drama, family drama cannot be supported, but Jenny Downham made that possible by inflicting lesser overripe scenes to narrate this family drama. The author has penned an emotionally wrecking story about three women between whom there is only one thing, cold war and silently hating one another. The author has also depicted some modern day issues like lesbianism and Alzheimer's disease into her story line quite sensitively and effectively as the readers are left to ponder about those subjects after the end of the story.
The writing style of the author is okay, but not that strong enough. The narrative constantly shifts from being boring and dull at times to quite interesting and articulate most of the times, and the dialogues are very much laced with realism thus making them comprehendable for the readers. The pacing is really slow, as there is so much development and layering and back stories that are unraveled eventually with the progress of the story and not to mention, each and every scene in this book are painted with vividity thus allowing the readers to visualize them right before their eyes.
The characters in this book are both good and bad. Well the bad part is that they all lacked emotional attachments thus failing to connect the readers with them, and the good, or rather say the best part, is that the characters are extremely real. Told from third person POV, there is enough space for the readers to look at or judge the characters with their own perspectives.
Katie is a scared 17-year old teenager, who is not only confused about her sexuality but is also experiencing new and forbidden feelings, which the author has carefully portrayed with enough compassion and understanding through the story. Katie evolves at the end of the book and I believe there the readers will fall for her mature and decisive demeanor. Mary, on the other hand, is the brave old lady, whose past life unfolds through flashbacks where also the readers will be welcomed by the sight of an aggressive, compassionate and determined young lady who is powerful way beyond her tender age and is strong enough to fight for social issues, but an unfortunate tragedy turns her into someone poignant and calm with a hint of her ferocity. Caroline is an annoying control freak, who not only tries to take control over her children's lives but also overprotects them with her concern and security. The supporting characters don;t stand out much in this book.
In a nutshell, this is an emotional family journey into the past and back into the preset day and the major events of each and every other women's lives are somehow connected by an invisible thread to one another, so overall, the book is beguiling and poignant yet at the same time enlightening enough to keep the readers engaged until the very end.
Verdict: A serious family drama that will keep the readers glued.
Courtesy: Thanks to the author's publishers for giving me the opportunity to read and review this book.
----Tia Walker
Jenny Downham, a British novelist, pens an incredibly honest family drama surrounding three generations of women in her new young adult book, Unbecoming that narrates the story of a young teenager who had no idea that she had a grandmother, until the day when her grandmother comes to live with her and her mum, who it seems never ever talked about her, thus opening the floodgates to some painful memories both in the grandmother's as well as in the teenager's mother's past that they have buried deep under piles of happy memories.
Synopsis:
Katie is seventeen and in love with someone whose identity she’s afraid to reveal.
Caroline, Katie’s mother, is uptight, worn out, and about to find the past catching up with her.
Mary, Katie’s grandmother, suffers from Alzheimer’s and suddenly appears after years of mysterious absence.
As Katie cares for an elderly woman who brings daily chaos to her life, she finds herself drawn to the grandmother she never knew she had. Rules get broken as allegiances shift. Is Mary contagious? Is “badness” genetic?
In confronting the past, Katie is forced to seize the present. As Mary slowly unravels and family secrets are revealed, Katie learns to live and finally dares to love.
Unbecoming is a vivid and exhilarating celebration of life and learning to honor your own story, infused with jenny Downham’s signature warmth, humor, and wisdom.
Mary, an old, Alzheimer suffering lady, has finally gone back to the place where she has forever dreaded to live, her daughter, Caroline's house. Caroline is not at all happy with the fact that her mother, whom she has forever kept as a secret from her children, is coming to live with her and her daughter, Katie and son. Katie is the 17 year old dreamer who is in love with a someone about whom she is afraid to discuss about, especially with her mother, and now that her grandmother, who never existed, suddenly shows up at her doorstep. And gradually, a sweet and innocent friendship blooms between Mary and Katie, as they learn to trust each other and finally feels comfortable enough to trade their secrets both from past and present among themselves. But it is difficult for Caroline to accept the past of Mary and Katie's present day affairs?
It is possible to carve out a family drama full of emotional tug-of-war without any dramatic undertone or sentiments or cliched feelings? Well I believe its hardly possible as without drama, family drama cannot be supported, but Jenny Downham made that possible by inflicting lesser overripe scenes to narrate this family drama. The author has penned an emotionally wrecking story about three women between whom there is only one thing, cold war and silently hating one another. The author has also depicted some modern day issues like lesbianism and Alzheimer's disease into her story line quite sensitively and effectively as the readers are left to ponder about those subjects after the end of the story.
The writing style of the author is okay, but not that strong enough. The narrative constantly shifts from being boring and dull at times to quite interesting and articulate most of the times, and the dialogues are very much laced with realism thus making them comprehendable for the readers. The pacing is really slow, as there is so much development and layering and back stories that are unraveled eventually with the progress of the story and not to mention, each and every scene in this book are painted with vividity thus allowing the readers to visualize them right before their eyes.
The characters in this book are both good and bad. Well the bad part is that they all lacked emotional attachments thus failing to connect the readers with them, and the good, or rather say the best part, is that the characters are extremely real. Told from third person POV, there is enough space for the readers to look at or judge the characters with their own perspectives.
Katie is a scared 17-year old teenager, who is not only confused about her sexuality but is also experiencing new and forbidden feelings, which the author has carefully portrayed with enough compassion and understanding through the story. Katie evolves at the end of the book and I believe there the readers will fall for her mature and decisive demeanor. Mary, on the other hand, is the brave old lady, whose past life unfolds through flashbacks where also the readers will be welcomed by the sight of an aggressive, compassionate and determined young lady who is powerful way beyond her tender age and is strong enough to fight for social issues, but an unfortunate tragedy turns her into someone poignant and calm with a hint of her ferocity. Caroline is an annoying control freak, who not only tries to take control over her children's lives but also overprotects them with her concern and security. The supporting characters don;t stand out much in this book.
In a nutshell, this is an emotional family journey into the past and back into the preset day and the major events of each and every other women's lives are somehow connected by an invisible thread to one another, so overall, the book is beguiling and poignant yet at the same time enlightening enough to keep the readers engaged until the very end.
Verdict: A serious family drama that will keep the readers glued.
Courtesy: Thanks to the author's publishers for giving me the opportunity to read and review this book.
February 9, 2017
This book was an average read for me. The story focuses on two women mainly - Katie, the teenager and Mary, her grandmother. I really wish we got more from Caroline, Katie's mother and Mary's daughter. Regardless, all three women were struggling with something in their life.
My main problem with this book was the fact that it was really mundane. Mundane stories can be great with the right writing but unfortunately the writing was just okay for me. Katie rattled on and on about how she was boring and it really showed for me because I was bored reading parts of her story. Katie is struggling with her identity and I think that part was done well enough. We could have gotten better insights into her feelings but apart from that it was done well. Mary was struggling to remember things as she had Alzheimers. I thought that was done quite well as well but it could have been better. I would have also liked to have known more about Mary but I suppose under the circumstances it was kind of hard to know Mary. I REALLY wish we got to know more about Mary and Jack because they sounded so fricking adorable. They were the sweetest. Caroline was struggling with being a working single mother with a mother who had Alzheimers and a son who had learning difficulties and also struggling with the fact that her husband left her for a younger woman. Caroline was a control freak. She drove me insane sometimes because she was so frustrating. I wish we got more of an insight into her thoughts.
The writing was average. I felt very detached from the characters because it was written in the third person but the characters did feel really authentic and they did feel like a dysfunctional family. I also have to mention that although there are so many things the characters have to deal with, it isn't a book that deals solely with the issues, the characters struggle with the issues but it's treated as just being a part of life. The "twist" or "reveal" at the end was unimpressive. It wasn't shocking at all and it disappointed me. The ending was your typical "woohoo, everything is great and sorted out now". I don't know if I believed that everything could end like that but I rolled with it.
I would probably recommend this but just be aware that it does have a slow pace and it is a story about ordinary-type people so don't expect anything crazy or exciting. I would read something else by Jenny Downham.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sit in a chair too long, my girl, and you might never get up again.”
“I thought I’d learned to live with “black moods”,’ Pat wrote a few days later, ‘but they are getting more frequent. They get in the way of seeing the good things. They hide the light. On a good day, it’s as if the curtains are fluttering and I can see it’s sunny outside and maybe I’ll go out later. I have a certain optimism. But on a bad day, it’s dark, dark, dark.”
“She watched her mother climb out of the car and lock the door. She looked so familiar down there, yet everything was different between them after last night and would never be the same again.”
My main problem with this book was the fact that it was really mundane. Mundane stories can be great with the right writing but unfortunately the writing was just okay for me. Katie rattled on and on about how she was boring and it really showed for me because I was bored reading parts of her story. Katie is struggling with her identity and I think that part was done well enough. We could have gotten better insights into her feelings but apart from that it was done well. Mary was struggling to remember things as she had Alzheimers. I thought that was done quite well as well but it could have been better. I would have also liked to have known more about Mary but I suppose under the circumstances it was kind of hard to know Mary. I REALLY wish we got to know more about Mary and Jack because they sounded so fricking adorable. They were the sweetest. Caroline was struggling with being a working single mother with a mother who had Alzheimers and a son who had learning difficulties and also struggling with the fact that her husband left her for a younger woman. Caroline was a control freak. She drove me insane sometimes because she was so frustrating. I wish we got more of an insight into her thoughts.
The writing was average. I felt very detached from the characters because it was written in the third person but the characters did feel really authentic and they did feel like a dysfunctional family. I also have to mention that although there are so many things the characters have to deal with, it isn't a book that deals solely with the issues, the characters struggle with the issues but it's treated as just being a part of life. The "twist" or "reveal" at the end was unimpressive. It wasn't shocking at all and it disappointed me. The ending was your typical "woohoo, everything is great and sorted out now". I don't know if I believed that everything could end like that but I rolled with it.
I would probably recommend this but just be aware that it does have a slow pace and it is a story about ordinary-type people so don't expect anything crazy or exciting. I would read something else by Jenny Downham.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sit in a chair too long, my girl, and you might never get up again.”
“I thought I’d learned to live with “black moods”,’ Pat wrote a few days later, ‘but they are getting more frequent. They get in the way of seeing the good things. They hide the light. On a good day, it’s as if the curtains are fluttering and I can see it’s sunny outside and maybe I’ll go out later. I have a certain optimism. But on a bad day, it’s dark, dark, dark.”
“She watched her mother climb out of the car and lock the door. She looked so familiar down there, yet everything was different between them after last night and would never be the same again.”
February 27, 2016
Last year, I saw a lot of readers describe Unbecoming as one of their favourite books of the year and I'm always curious about these books. I love stories about generations of women because my own family is quite young. I often hang out with my mother and grandmother, but what if I didn't grow up like that? And neither did my mother?
That's the case for 17-year-old Katie. Katie's always had a difficult relationship with her busy, fiercely organised and headstrong mother Caroline, but this intensifies when Katie discovers that she has a grandmother. Mary is sprightly and fascinating – and she is suffering from Alzheimer's. If you've read , Caroline reminds me of Maud's daughter. But it's even more complicated because Mary wasn't there for Caroline when she needed her most, even though the reasons for this – as we discover – aren't as simple as they first seem.
Unbecoming tackles female relationships most wonderfully, from familial to friendship to romantic. It focuses particularly on Katie and Mary as we slowly unravel Mary's troublesome past and Katie's equally as complicated present. We watch as they forge an unbreakable bond. I'd have also loved to hear from Caroline as a third perspective, since she also has to deal with a whole lot and her reasons for being frustrated and overprotective aren't unfounded – her voice would have tied everything together perfectly. In Unbecoming, every relationship, no matter what kind, never feels fabricated and is a special way to explore issues like dementia, coming out, bullying, teenage pregnancy and disability.
If you're a YA fan who's looking for something close to adult fiction, this is a great pick for you!
Thank you to the publisher for providing this book for review!
I also reviewed this book over on .
That's the case for 17-year-old Katie. Katie's always had a difficult relationship with her busy, fiercely organised and headstrong mother Caroline, but this intensifies when Katie discovers that she has a grandmother. Mary is sprightly and fascinating – and she is suffering from Alzheimer's. If you've read , Caroline reminds me of Maud's daughter. But it's even more complicated because Mary wasn't there for Caroline when she needed her most, even though the reasons for this – as we discover – aren't as simple as they first seem.
Unbecoming tackles female relationships most wonderfully, from familial to friendship to romantic. It focuses particularly on Katie and Mary as we slowly unravel Mary's troublesome past and Katie's equally as complicated present. We watch as they forge an unbreakable bond. I'd have also loved to hear from Caroline as a third perspective, since she also has to deal with a whole lot and her reasons for being frustrated and overprotective aren't unfounded – her voice would have tied everything together perfectly. In Unbecoming, every relationship, no matter what kind, never feels fabricated and is a special way to explore issues like dementia, coming out, bullying, teenage pregnancy and disability.
If you're a YA fan who's looking for something close to adult fiction, this is a great pick for you!
Thank you to the publisher for providing this book for review!
I also reviewed this book over on .
August 10, 2015
Unbecoming is like nothing else I’ve read before in YA. It’s an ambitious book with huge literary merit that I can see appealing to people of all ages.
The book is about three generations of women in one family: Mary the grandmother, her daughter Caroline and Caroline’s daughter Katie. Teenager Katie is struggling with her sexuality after kissing her best friend and her whole school finding out about it, grandmother Mary is struggling with dementia that seems to be getting worse by the day and Katie’s mum Caroline is struggling to hold everyone together after her husband leaves her for a younger woman and her teenage son who has learning disabilities is finding his dad’s absence hard to come to terms with. Unbecoming is a book about women and the different obstacles we’ve faced throughout history and how they compare to the difficulties that girls face growing up in today’s society.
I loved the family relationships in this book and also how family was front and centre rather than romance or friendship taking centre stage as it is prone to in YA. Unbecoming is a book that I can see grandmothers and mums and daughters bonding over and discussing together as it examines growing up as a girl throughout the ages.
Despite Unbecoming covering a lot of heavy themes like dementia, coming out and disability - to name a few - it doesn’t feel like an “issue book”. It’s not tragic or depressing to read, it’s just the characters muddling on with their lot in life like we all do. Jenny Downham has an extraordinary way of making her characters and their situations feel very real.
I’ve read all of Jenny Downham’s books but I think that this is her best so far. Unbecoming is a moving and thought provoking book about coming clean of social expectations and being true to you.
The book is about three generations of women in one family: Mary the grandmother, her daughter Caroline and Caroline’s daughter Katie. Teenager Katie is struggling with her sexuality after kissing her best friend and her whole school finding out about it, grandmother Mary is struggling with dementia that seems to be getting worse by the day and Katie’s mum Caroline is struggling to hold everyone together after her husband leaves her for a younger woman and her teenage son who has learning disabilities is finding his dad’s absence hard to come to terms with. Unbecoming is a book about women and the different obstacles we’ve faced throughout history and how they compare to the difficulties that girls face growing up in today’s society.
I loved the family relationships in this book and also how family was front and centre rather than romance or friendship taking centre stage as it is prone to in YA. Unbecoming is a book that I can see grandmothers and mums and daughters bonding over and discussing together as it examines growing up as a girl throughout the ages.
Despite Unbecoming covering a lot of heavy themes like dementia, coming out and disability - to name a few - it doesn’t feel like an “issue book”. It’s not tragic or depressing to read, it’s just the characters muddling on with their lot in life like we all do. Jenny Downham has an extraordinary way of making her characters and their situations feel very real.
I’ve read all of Jenny Downham’s books but I think that this is her best so far. Unbecoming is a moving and thought provoking book about coming clean of social expectations and being true to you.
August 16, 2016
I buddy read this with Anna
This was surprisingly lovely. I had agreed to buddy read this novel on the basis of the cover and the suggestion that it seemed to have an historical fiction element so when moderators put the discussion thread in the contemporary romance category I had some misgivings.
Luckily I was committed to reading it because as soon as I cracked this book open I was pleased I had.
The novel traces three generations of a family and gradually reveals their deepest secrets and most painful experiences. It is a beautiful novel that doesn't shy away from acknowledging the flaws of each woman. It is a testament to the writer that the laser-like precision with which the character's weaknesses are revealed still manages to be compassionate.
This story deals with a lot of painful issues deftly. Depression, unplanned motherhood, sexuality, ageing are explored with honesty and kindness. I really enjoyed Unbecoming.
It was everything a great novel in contemporary women's fiction should be.
This was surprisingly lovely. I had agreed to buddy read this novel on the basis of the cover and the suggestion that it seemed to have an historical fiction element so when moderators put the discussion thread in the contemporary romance category I had some misgivings.
Luckily I was committed to reading it because as soon as I cracked this book open I was pleased I had.
The novel traces three generations of a family and gradually reveals their deepest secrets and most painful experiences. It is a beautiful novel that doesn't shy away from acknowledging the flaws of each woman. It is a testament to the writer that the laser-like precision with which the character's weaknesses are revealed still manages to be compassionate.
This story deals with a lot of painful issues deftly. Depression, unplanned motherhood, sexuality, ageing are explored with honesty and kindness. I really enjoyed Unbecoming.
It was everything a great novel in contemporary women's fiction should be.
April 23, 2017
This book hit me hard. Much harder than I expected. It's true that at first, until about 25% through, I couldn't really get into the book, I couldn't get into the story, and I didn't sympathise with the characters. It may have been because it was written in third person, but after about 25% through, I found it so easy to read.
This is a story about a woman (Mary), another woman (Caroline) and a girl (Katie). They are a family - three generations - and they all have their own secrets that they've been hiding from everyone. Unbecoming was a story showing how dangerous secrets are and how just because you think you're saving people by keeping them, you usually aren't. Mary has Alzheimer's and all she wants to do is remember things that she can't. Caroline, her daughter, is very over protective, and would do anything for her children Katie and Chris, even though sometimes, her protection was too much. Katie, is a 17 year old who is being bullied by people at school because she kissed her best friend Esme. She is determined to like boys but she just can't seem to fancy them, and so this book, while about family, was also about accepting and understanding your sexuality.
I came to adore the writing style - it was simplistic, and I loved the flashback chapters of the past. Nothing much happened in the story, as such. It was a series of events and a coming of age story, a story about family, love, loss. There wasn't much action at all, but I've realised those are the kinds of books I love the most, because I can empathise the most with the characters. Life is dull a lot of the time. Major things don't happen.
I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys books about family, and acceptance and the truth.
This is a story about a woman (Mary), another woman (Caroline) and a girl (Katie). They are a family - three generations - and they all have their own secrets that they've been hiding from everyone. Unbecoming was a story showing how dangerous secrets are and how just because you think you're saving people by keeping them, you usually aren't. Mary has Alzheimer's and all she wants to do is remember things that she can't. Caroline, her daughter, is very over protective, and would do anything for her children Katie and Chris, even though sometimes, her protection was too much. Katie, is a 17 year old who is being bullied by people at school because she kissed her best friend Esme. She is determined to like boys but she just can't seem to fancy them, and so this book, while about family, was also about accepting and understanding your sexuality.
I came to adore the writing style - it was simplistic, and I loved the flashback chapters of the past. Nothing much happened in the story, as such. It was a series of events and a coming of age story, a story about family, love, loss. There wasn't much action at all, but I've realised those are the kinds of books I love the most, because I can empathise the most with the characters. Life is dull a lot of the time. Major things don't happen.
I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys books about family, and acceptance and the truth.
August 26, 2016
I picked up not really knowing what to expect, thinking it'd just be a nice, easy read. I definitely didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did!
This book is about three generations of women - teenage Katie, her Mum, and her Grandmother. It delves into the complexity of family relationships, the mind of a teenage girl, and the pain that can come with being estranged from your parents. The issues that Katie and her family face can be both frustrating and heartbreaking, and in that way, this story and these characters are just so believeable.
I loved watching the relationships between each of the women grow as the book went on, and seeing their family secrets slowly come to light as they all begun to understand each other. Although I wouldn't say it was a typical tearjerker, the subtlety of the issues Katie faced definitely made me tear up at times. I'd definitely recommend this book!
This book is about three generations of women - teenage Katie, her Mum, and her Grandmother. It delves into the complexity of family relationships, the mind of a teenage girl, and the pain that can come with being estranged from your parents. The issues that Katie and her family face can be both frustrating and heartbreaking, and in that way, this story and these characters are just so believeable.
I loved watching the relationships between each of the women grow as the book went on, and seeing their family secrets slowly come to light as they all begun to understand each other. Although I wouldn't say it was a typical tearjerker, the subtlety of the issues Katie faced definitely made me tear up at times. I'd definitely recommend this book!
June 15, 2016
This book started out pretty great; in the region of 5 stars kind of great. Then, gradually, my enjoyment dipped to what was turning into 4 stars. Then it peaked again! And then, throughout the remainder of the book, it trundled down until settling on 3 stars.
Mary's chapters are the best parts of Unbecoming. Whether the chapter details her life as a teenager in the 1950s, or shows how she sees the world through her dementia-clouded eyes in present day, it is enjoyable to read. Katie's chapters about her school and social life make up the majority of the book, and they are distinctly less compelling to me.
However, my main problem with this book was Caroline's (Katie's mum) character.
I had major issues with her.
In the first third or so of the book, we can see that she is an incredibly controlling parent. OK, that's interesting. It adds another layer to the story. But it gets to the point where she is just plain infuriating to read and you want to shake her shoulders and slap her round the cheek to make her realise what a shitty parent she's being. She controls every aspect of Katie's life to the extent that she'd rather Katie was miserably getting top grades in school whilst having precisely zero friends than be prepared to give her some freedom over her life. It's pathetic. And then we see a ton of backstory that's supposed to make us feel sorry for her and help us understand her, but I was just thinking "no, that's not an excuse, you're a shitty person and you need to get over yourself and stop making everyone around you miserable".
I guess Caroline and I are just two very different people.
This book also seemed very dragged out. Halfway through we received part of The Big Secret that Caroline was keeping from Katie (because, you know, it would be far too sensible to just be honest with your only daughter from the beginning), and it seemed like there was nothing else for the characters to do. After that, it didn't feel like it had much force behind it. It picked up towards the end but, again, it took forever for things to actually be revealed as the author kept stalling - making the characters sit around for a bit, wait for someone else to turn up, have a chat, think about life - I just wanted to tell them to "get a bloody move on!" And then again, at the resolution, it just dragged on for pages and pages achieving nothing in particular and it just infuriated me.
Finally, a word on Katie and Our Love Interest. Without spoiling who it is, I'll just say that Our Love Interest is a really mean person and kind of a dick and I don't know why Katie wanted to be with them for any reason beyond physical attraction. If you've read my review on Passenger, you'll know I hate characters who are only attracted to each other because of physical appearance. Another irritation.
When it was good, it was really very good. When it was bad, it was dismal.
Mary's chapters are the best parts of Unbecoming. Whether the chapter details her life as a teenager in the 1950s, or shows how she sees the world through her dementia-clouded eyes in present day, it is enjoyable to read. Katie's chapters about her school and social life make up the majority of the book, and they are distinctly less compelling to me.
However, my main problem with this book was Caroline's (Katie's mum) character.
I had major issues with her.
In the first third or so of the book, we can see that she is an incredibly controlling parent. OK, that's interesting. It adds another layer to the story. But it gets to the point where she is just plain infuriating to read and you want to shake her shoulders and slap her round the cheek to make her realise what a shitty parent she's being. She controls every aspect of Katie's life to the extent that she'd rather Katie was miserably getting top grades in school whilst having precisely zero friends than be prepared to give her some freedom over her life. It's pathetic. And then we see a ton of backstory that's supposed to make us feel sorry for her and help us understand her, but I was just thinking "no, that's not an excuse, you're a shitty person and you need to get over yourself and stop making everyone around you miserable".
I guess Caroline and I are just two very different people.
This book also seemed very dragged out. Halfway through we received part of The Big Secret that Caroline was keeping from Katie (because, you know, it would be far too sensible to just be honest with your only daughter from the beginning), and it seemed like there was nothing else for the characters to do. After that, it didn't feel like it had much force behind it. It picked up towards the end but, again, it took forever for things to actually be revealed as the author kept stalling - making the characters sit around for a bit, wait for someone else to turn up, have a chat, think about life - I just wanted to tell them to "get a bloody move on!" And then again, at the resolution, it just dragged on for pages and pages achieving nothing in particular and it just infuriated me.
Finally, a word on Katie and Our Love Interest. Without spoiling who it is, I'll just say that Our Love Interest is a really mean person and kind of a dick and I don't know why Katie wanted to be with them for any reason beyond physical attraction. If you've read my review on Passenger, you'll know I hate characters who are only attracted to each other because of physical appearance. Another irritation.
When it was good, it was really very good. When it was bad, it was dismal.
March 21, 2016
** Books 74 - 2016 **
4 of 5 stars!
Hello my name is Katie! I was seventeen years old and lived with my mother, Caroline and my younger brother, Chris. We always lived look like so happy but actually it didn't. Suddenly, we've got news that my grandma, Mary is being hospitalized and doesn't know who she is. Iam really upset why my mom doesn't tell me anything about her. In the same time, i feel very exhausted since all of my friends stay away from me especially Esme, my bestfriend. I know it is my fault since i kissed her last time but what should i do with this sucks feeling?? I can't tell anything to my mom since she wants me to be purrfect and best student. I just also can't tell to my dad since he lived with his new wife right now.
Only Mary who really understands me very well. She always can be reliable even i know she kinda have dementia's disease. She told me and chris about her young experience, how about she lived with my mom, how she have dad and older sisters, pat. I wanna know her very well since why my mom looks like really hates her to live with us? I am shocked when i know the truth that my mom grow up with Pat not my grandma. What the hell is that? I know there is something hidden with my mom and mary's past. Why she lies to me and chris about the truth one :(
I am very sad yeah since my mom forbid me to go to the school's party. I'm still asking myself why i always dreaming girls in my night? I try to having date with one of cute guy, Jamie but why Simona's face always hanging in my mind in these days? I can't talk to everyone. i'm really afraid that everyone will not accept me as the way i am. Iam not a perfect katie :')
If you love family conflict such as by The Liane Moriarty, by E. Lockhart this books will be perfect for you. I simply love the conflict and how the family solving the problem is. it is really touching my heart :)
4 of 5 stars!
Hello my name is Katie! I was seventeen years old and lived with my mother, Caroline and my younger brother, Chris. We always lived look like so happy but actually it didn't. Suddenly, we've got news that my grandma, Mary is being hospitalized and doesn't know who she is. Iam really upset why my mom doesn't tell me anything about her. In the same time, i feel very exhausted since all of my friends stay away from me especially Esme, my bestfriend. I know it is my fault since i kissed her last time but what should i do with this sucks feeling?? I can't tell anything to my mom since she wants me to be purrfect and best student. I just also can't tell to my dad since he lived with his new wife right now.
Only Mary who really understands me very well. She always can be reliable even i know she kinda have dementia's disease. She told me and chris about her young experience, how about she lived with my mom, how she have dad and older sisters, pat. I wanna know her very well since why my mom looks like really hates her to live with us? I am shocked when i know the truth that my mom grow up with Pat not my grandma. What the hell is that? I know there is something hidden with my mom and mary's past. Why she lies to me and chris about the truth one :(
I am very sad yeah since my mom forbid me to go to the school's party. I'm still asking myself why i always dreaming girls in my night? I try to having date with one of cute guy, Jamie but why Simona's face always hanging in my mind in these days? I can't talk to everyone. i'm really afraid that everyone will not accept me as the way i am. Iam not a perfect katie :')
If you love family conflict such as by The Liane Moriarty, by E. Lockhart this books will be perfect for you. I simply love the conflict and how the family solving the problem is. it is really touching my heart :)
July 17, 2016
I'm torn between giving this a 4 star review and a 2 star one.
The 4 star aspects:
MARY!!!! She was a brilliant character. I loved discovering her story as she remembered them. Her loss of memory was sad but so well described.
Her relationship with Katie was lovely.
2 star aspects:
Caroline - she should have played a far larger role earlier in the book to understand her deep rooted anger and get a better understanding of why she was the way she was. Her story of abandonment and loss could and should have been a bigger part of this novel.
Katie - her "secret" didn't feel authentic. I also wish that they had shared more of the incident between herself and Esme. But as she built her relationship with Mary - Katie blossomed and became an interesting character.
I would have liked Pat's point of view for a bit too.
Honestly, I think if this had been totally about Mary and Caroline, with Katie playing a more minor role, it would have been a solid 4 star read.
Lovely writing and well paced (for the most part).
The 4 star aspects:
MARY!!!! She was a brilliant character. I loved discovering her story as she remembered them. Her loss of memory was sad but so well described.
Her relationship with Katie was lovely.
2 star aspects:
Caroline - she should have played a far larger role earlier in the book to understand her deep rooted anger and get a better understanding of why she was the way she was. Her story of abandonment and loss could and should have been a bigger part of this novel.
Katie - her "secret" didn't feel authentic. I also wish that they had shared more of the incident between herself and Esme. But as she built her relationship with Mary - Katie blossomed and became an interesting character.
I would have liked Pat's point of view for a bit too.
Honestly, I think if this had been totally about Mary and Caroline, with Katie playing a more minor role, it would have been a solid 4 star read.
Lovely writing and well paced (for the most part).
Read
July 25, 2016An interesting read, and definitely different. Felt a little like THE FIRST TIME SHE DROWNED meets THE FLYWHEEL meets...not sure what else. It's sorta hard for me to show this book the love it deserves, because like OCD LOVE STORY, it spends time a lot of time making it uncomfortable to be in someone's brain (in this case, the grandmother's), but this one plays on even bigger fears and sadness for me personally, but I do think it was really well crafted, and yay for more f/f YA always.
January 19, 2021
3.5 stars rounded up
This was a surprisingly good read, and I did not expect to enjoy it as much as I did. The characters felt very real and fleshed out. My only problems were that the writing style lacked flow at certain times, and I wanted to see more about Caroline. Other than that, it was a slow, yet lovely character-driven book.
This was a surprisingly good read, and I did not expect to enjoy it as much as I did. The characters felt very real and fleshed out. My only problems were that the writing style lacked flow at certain times, and I wanted to see more about Caroline. Other than that, it was a slow, yet lovely character-driven book.
July 29, 2018
The stories of three generations of women made my heart ache.
Unbecoming is a slow story but it is worth it in the end.
Unbecoming is a slow story but it is worth it in the end.
November 2, 2024
This is a book about moms and daughters, aka a book my mom would really like. Generational trauma, motherhood, etc.
May 9, 2019
I read Before I Die by Jenny Downham in 7th grade and this book fails to change my opinion on her books.
November 30, 2015
This book is so good. I suspected it would be before I started it and just knew after the first page it was going to be as wonderful as I'd hoped.
Unbecoming is the story of Mary, Caroline and Katie and starts when Caroline and her daughter Katie are contacted by the hospital to collect Caroline's mother Mary. Caroline is not happy about this having not seen much of her mother over the years due to an incredibly rocky relationship with the woman her gave her up to be brought up by her aunt when she was a baby. It is clear from the outset that Mary has Alzheimers and Caroline is forced to take her into her home.
As you can imagine the welcome Mary gets from her daughter is not a warm one and it ends up being Katie who makes the effort and spends time with Mary and helping her to remember things on a day to day basis. Trouble is the more Mary remember the more it uncovers about the past which Caroline wanted to keep buried.
I really enjoyed seeing the differing relationships between the three generations of the family. I also thought this book showcased the heartbreaking way in which Alzheimers can rob everything for someone the more it progresses. Seeing the world from Mary's view made you really feel for how much she was losing.
All in all a wonderful book about family
Unbecoming is the story of Mary, Caroline and Katie and starts when Caroline and her daughter Katie are contacted by the hospital to collect Caroline's mother Mary. Caroline is not happy about this having not seen much of her mother over the years due to an incredibly rocky relationship with the woman her gave her up to be brought up by her aunt when she was a baby. It is clear from the outset that Mary has Alzheimers and Caroline is forced to take her into her home.
As you can imagine the welcome Mary gets from her daughter is not a warm one and it ends up being Katie who makes the effort and spends time with Mary and helping her to remember things on a day to day basis. Trouble is the more Mary remember the more it uncovers about the past which Caroline wanted to keep buried.
I really enjoyed seeing the differing relationships between the three generations of the family. I also thought this book showcased the heartbreaking way in which Alzheimers can rob everything for someone the more it progresses. Seeing the world from Mary's view made you really feel for how much she was losing.
All in all a wonderful book about family
April 15, 2021
"Niepoprawna" to historia pięciu kobiet, które - jak nitki - łączą wspomnienia. Trudne, bolesne, te, z którymi nie chcą się mierzyć, a które na światło dzienne wyciąga upór i choroba. To książka, która może boleć, irytować, męczyć swoim ciężarem, ale trzeba jej na to pozwolić - bo cały obraz utkany z tych nitek jest wyjątkowy.
December 9, 2015
Thinks this is my favourite Jenny Downham book so far. Read it in less than 24 hours. Every time I see a new book by her I don't bother reading what it's about cause I know I will love it and I do every single time
Want to read
August 6, 2015JENNY DOWNHAM VUELVE, VUELVE *-*
May 20, 2017
3 Frauen, 3 Generationen, 1 Geschichte Jahrelang hat Caroline ihrer 17-jährigen Tochter Katie die Großmutter vorenthalten. Zu viele Verletzungen, zu viele böse Worte waren zwischen den beiden gefallen. Doch nun taucht die alte Dame unvermittelt wieder in ihrem Leben auf … und erinnert sich an fast nichts mehr: Mary leidet an Demenz. Was für Caroline einem Albtraum gleicht, weckt in Katie neue Hoffnung. Sie freundet sich mit ihrer Großmutter an und fügt in deren lichten Momenten wie bei einem Puzzlespiel ihre Familiengeschichte zusammen. Noch ahnt Katie nicht, was sie damit ins Rollen bringt. Es wird ein Sommer werden, der alles verändert.
Den Schreibstil und die Erzählweise der Autorin weiß ich von anderen Werken zu schätzen und habe mich daher sehr auf dieses Buch gefreut – und meine hohen Erwartungen wurden glücklicherweise erfüllt.
Die Handlung wird sowohl aus der Perspektive von Katie und Mary erzählt und springt auch in den Zeitebenen hin- und her. Jede zeitliche Rückblende in das Leben von Mary wird jedoch gut und deutlich gekennzeichnet, so dass ich beim Lesen nie von unangekündigten Szenenwechseln überrumpelt worden bin. Demenz ist ein Thema, das sehr schnell sehr klischeehaft umgesetzt werden kann, doch der Autorin ist es meiner Meinung nach gelungen eine gute und glaubwürdige Balance zu finden. Generell war dieses Buch hoch emotional und dabei immer glaubwürdig und nachvollziehbar. Besonders der Konflikt zwischen Mary, Caroline und Pat, Marys Schwester, wurde sehr authentisch und einfühlsam beschrieben, als Leser konnte ich mich extrem gut in die Situationen hineinversetzen und mitfühlen.
Auch die Charaktere haben mich bei diesem Buch in den Bann gezogen – sie alle wirkten sehr realistisch und facettenreich, ich konnte sehr schnell eine Bindung zu ihnen aufbauen. Die Beschreibungen waren nicht allzu ausführlich, das Gesamtbild war aber hundertprozentig stimmig.
Insgesamt konnte ‚Obwohl es dir das Herz zerreißt‘ meine hohen Erwartungen erfüllen und hat mir viele emotionale und angenehme Lesemomente bereitet.
Den Schreibstil und die Erzählweise der Autorin weiß ich von anderen Werken zu schätzen und habe mich daher sehr auf dieses Buch gefreut – und meine hohen Erwartungen wurden glücklicherweise erfüllt.
Die Handlung wird sowohl aus der Perspektive von Katie und Mary erzählt und springt auch in den Zeitebenen hin- und her. Jede zeitliche Rückblende in das Leben von Mary wird jedoch gut und deutlich gekennzeichnet, so dass ich beim Lesen nie von unangekündigten Szenenwechseln überrumpelt worden bin. Demenz ist ein Thema, das sehr schnell sehr klischeehaft umgesetzt werden kann, doch der Autorin ist es meiner Meinung nach gelungen eine gute und glaubwürdige Balance zu finden. Generell war dieses Buch hoch emotional und dabei immer glaubwürdig und nachvollziehbar. Besonders der Konflikt zwischen Mary, Caroline und Pat, Marys Schwester, wurde sehr authentisch und einfühlsam beschrieben, als Leser konnte ich mich extrem gut in die Situationen hineinversetzen und mitfühlen.
Auch die Charaktere haben mich bei diesem Buch in den Bann gezogen – sie alle wirkten sehr realistisch und facettenreich, ich konnte sehr schnell eine Bindung zu ihnen aufbauen. Die Beschreibungen waren nicht allzu ausführlich, das Gesamtbild war aber hundertprozentig stimmig.
Insgesamt konnte ‚Obwohl es dir das Herz zerreißt‘ meine hohen Erwartungen erfüllen und hat mir viele emotionale und angenehme Lesemomente bereitet.
May 21, 2017
This was one of those frustrating books that I wanted to like more than I did.
We have three different women, all related, and see their stories.
Mary, a young unmarried mother in the 1950s was forced to give up her daughter. Caroline, the daughter, is now a mother herself-trying to come to terms with the anger she feels at being abandoned. Lastly, there is seventeen year old Katie who is undergoing her own major life experience.
All three women need to explore their feelings and experiences. When Mary -who suffers with dementia - is left widowed, it falls to her estranged daughter to look after her.
Split narratives and jumping time frames allow for a slow reveal of the key plot details. It also means it takes a long time to get close to answers.
Sadly, not what I expected.
We have three different women, all related, and see their stories.
Mary, a young unmarried mother in the 1950s was forced to give up her daughter. Caroline, the daughter, is now a mother herself-trying to come to terms with the anger she feels at being abandoned. Lastly, there is seventeen year old Katie who is undergoing her own major life experience.
All three women need to explore their feelings and experiences. When Mary -who suffers with dementia - is left widowed, it falls to her estranged daughter to look after her.
Split narratives and jumping time frames allow for a slow reveal of the key plot details. It also means it takes a long time to get close to answers.
Sadly, not what I expected.
October 27, 2020
A strong read about three generations of women: 17-year old Katie, struggling with her identity, her stressed mum Caroline and dement grandmother Mary. They all have traumatic events and secrets to deal with. It's a gripping story, one of the best coming-of-age dysfunktional, three-generation novels I've read.
June 24, 2017
I enjoyed the messy family dynamics of this story and the way dementia is portrayed with moments of clarity mixed with moments of confusion. That's the way it really is! Good read!
February 27, 2020
How fabulous that the author narrated this audio book!!!!!! Her voices for the grandmother was amazing. These characters were lifelike.
3 generations of women. All with life events that provide them with courage to follow the path they feel is right for them at the time.
The quotes within this book are moving!!
"Katy wanted mum to look at her..but she wouldn't...she wanted them to look at each other and understand they reached the end of something and had to start some new way of being. But, perhaps it was easier not to be looked at as you handed over the story of your life"
"I don't remember Jack sparkling at the edges...."
This was a long book....19 hours of audio.....but right down to the last "page" I was so involved.
I loved this book
3 generations of women. All with life events that provide them with courage to follow the path they feel is right for them at the time.
The quotes within this book are moving!!
"Katy wanted mum to look at her..but she wouldn't...she wanted them to look at each other and understand they reached the end of something and had to start some new way of being. But, perhaps it was easier not to be looked at as you handed over the story of your life"
"I don't remember Jack sparkling at the edges...."
This was a long book....19 hours of audio.....but right down to the last "page" I was so involved.
I loved this book
October 17, 2024
Questo libro è in un angolo della mia libreria da almeno otto anni e mi pento di non averlo letto prima, anche se forse mi ha trovato nel momento giusto.
È commovente e l'atmosfera è pervasa di calore.
Non riesco a trovarci dei difetti così importanti da giustificare una votazione minore
È commovente e l'atmosfera è pervasa di calore.
Non riesco a trovarci dei difetti così importanti da giustificare una votazione minore
March 24, 2016
Zusammenfassend
Als Jack, Marie's Freund, plötzlich verstirbt, wird Caroline angerufen und muss ihre Mutter im Krankenhaus abholen. Caroline, Katie's Mutter, ist gar nicht angetan und will Marie so schnell wie möglich wieder loswerden. Mit der Zeit erfährt man, das Caroline nicht von Marie sondern deren Schwester Pat grossgezogen wurde. So stellt sich heraus, das auch Marie für Caroline beinahe eine Fremde ist.
Doch wieso konnte Marie sie nicht grossziehen?
Wieso ist Caroline so verbittert und übervorsichtig?
Was verbirgt Caroline vor Katie und wieso weicht sie Fragen bezüglich ihrer Vergangenheit immer wieder aus?
"Zum Elternsein gehört mehr als Biologie, dazu braucht es Opferbereitschaft. Man kann nicht einfach in der Gegend rumlaufen und machen, wozu man gerade Lust hat." S. 22
Katie steht vor einer Fremden. Diese scheint aber ihre Grossmutter zu sein. Eine Grossmutter, die sie noch nie zuvor gesehen hatte.
Doch Katie fängt an sich für Marie zu interessieren und schliesst diese sofort in ihr Herz.
Nach anfänglichen Schwierigkeiten...
Wie soll Katie sie nennen? Gran? Oma? Sie entscheidet sich für Marie - ja Marie passt. Kommen Marie und Katie sich schnell näher und erleben tolle Tage miteinander.
Doch Katie kämpft mich sich selbst, auch sie hat ein Geheimnis.
Warum wird sie von ihrer besten Freundin gemieden?
Wieso sind die anderen Mädchen so gemein zu ihr?
"Hast du mir nicht immer gesagt, dass Mut dazugehört, man selbst zu sein?" S. 179
Marie, die an Demenz leidet, versucht sich immer wieder an einen bestimmten Ort, an ein bestimmtes Ereignis und an einen kostbaren Moment zu erinnern. Doch ihre Gedanken entgleiten ihr immer wieder. Sie schweift ab und ist oft in der Vergangenheit.
Wer war Marie?
Wieso lebte sie ohne Caroline in London?
Was war zwischen Pat und ihr?
"Liebe Caroline, dies ist die Botschaft von Deiner ersten Mami. Ja, du hast zwei davon! (...)" S. 222
Gefiel mir sehr
Ein Buch über eine Familie mit Wurzeln, die niemand anerkennen möchte.
Ich mochte Marie unglaublich gerne, sie ist witzig und Charmant, als jugendliche sogar kokett und abenteuerlustig! Mir gefiel ihre Geschichte und mir gefiel sehr, wie sich herausstellte, dass nicht alles so ist wie es am Anfang den Anschein machte.
Ich mochte auch sehr, wie die Geschichte aufgebaut war, mir gefielen die Rückblicke von Marie, sowie auch die Alltagserlebnisse von Katie.
Gefiel mir nicht
Ich fand es Schade, dass nicht aus der Sicht von Caroline geschrieben wurde. Den dadurch hätte man ihren Charakter vielleicht besser greifen / verstehen können.
Ich war öfters genervt von ihr, weil sie es allen immer so schwer machte, doch erst am Schluss, als sie sich auch etwas öffnet, wird einem ihr Charakter auch etwas näher gebracht.
Schreibstil & Cover
Ich finde das Cover sehr stimmig und beruhigend. Normalerweise bin ich kein Fan von Covern mit Gesichtern drauf, aber dieses hier gefällt mir Richtig gut.
Der Schreibstil ist frisch und flüssig, das mag ich sehr. Man war sofort in der Geschichte drin und die Wechsel zwischen Marie und Katie waren verständlich und störten den Geschichtsfluss nicht.
"Ein Baby wird mit über dreihundert Knochen geboren, doch während des Wachstums verfestigt sich Knorpelmasse, und kleinere Knochen wachsen zusammen, bis es am Ende nur noch zweihundertsechs sind. So vieles geht verloren, während Töchter aufwachsen." S. 429
Fazit
Eine tolle Geschichte über die Beziehung zwischen Mutter und Tochter.
Bewertung
Buchlänge ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)
Schreibstil ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)
Botschaft ♥♥♥ (3/5)
Lesevergnügen ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)
Als Jack, Marie's Freund, plötzlich verstirbt, wird Caroline angerufen und muss ihre Mutter im Krankenhaus abholen. Caroline, Katie's Mutter, ist gar nicht angetan und will Marie so schnell wie möglich wieder loswerden. Mit der Zeit erfährt man, das Caroline nicht von Marie sondern deren Schwester Pat grossgezogen wurde. So stellt sich heraus, das auch Marie für Caroline beinahe eine Fremde ist.
Doch wieso konnte Marie sie nicht grossziehen?
Wieso ist Caroline so verbittert und übervorsichtig?
Was verbirgt Caroline vor Katie und wieso weicht sie Fragen bezüglich ihrer Vergangenheit immer wieder aus?
"Zum Elternsein gehört mehr als Biologie, dazu braucht es Opferbereitschaft. Man kann nicht einfach in der Gegend rumlaufen und machen, wozu man gerade Lust hat." S. 22
Katie steht vor einer Fremden. Diese scheint aber ihre Grossmutter zu sein. Eine Grossmutter, die sie noch nie zuvor gesehen hatte.
Doch Katie fängt an sich für Marie zu interessieren und schliesst diese sofort in ihr Herz.
Nach anfänglichen Schwierigkeiten...
Wie soll Katie sie nennen? Gran? Oma? Sie entscheidet sich für Marie - ja Marie passt. Kommen Marie und Katie sich schnell näher und erleben tolle Tage miteinander.
Doch Katie kämpft mich sich selbst, auch sie hat ein Geheimnis.
Warum wird sie von ihrer besten Freundin gemieden?
Wieso sind die anderen Mädchen so gemein zu ihr?
"Hast du mir nicht immer gesagt, dass Mut dazugehört, man selbst zu sein?" S. 179
Marie, die an Demenz leidet, versucht sich immer wieder an einen bestimmten Ort, an ein bestimmtes Ereignis und an einen kostbaren Moment zu erinnern. Doch ihre Gedanken entgleiten ihr immer wieder. Sie schweift ab und ist oft in der Vergangenheit.
Wer war Marie?
Wieso lebte sie ohne Caroline in London?
Was war zwischen Pat und ihr?
"Liebe Caroline, dies ist die Botschaft von Deiner ersten Mami. Ja, du hast zwei davon! (...)" S. 222
Gefiel mir sehr
Ein Buch über eine Familie mit Wurzeln, die niemand anerkennen möchte.
Ich mochte Marie unglaublich gerne, sie ist witzig und Charmant, als jugendliche sogar kokett und abenteuerlustig! Mir gefiel ihre Geschichte und mir gefiel sehr, wie sich herausstellte, dass nicht alles so ist wie es am Anfang den Anschein machte.
Ich mochte auch sehr, wie die Geschichte aufgebaut war, mir gefielen die Rückblicke von Marie, sowie auch die Alltagserlebnisse von Katie.
Gefiel mir nicht
Ich fand es Schade, dass nicht aus der Sicht von Caroline geschrieben wurde. Den dadurch hätte man ihren Charakter vielleicht besser greifen / verstehen können.
Ich war öfters genervt von ihr, weil sie es allen immer so schwer machte, doch erst am Schluss, als sie sich auch etwas öffnet, wird einem ihr Charakter auch etwas näher gebracht.
Schreibstil & Cover
Ich finde das Cover sehr stimmig und beruhigend. Normalerweise bin ich kein Fan von Covern mit Gesichtern drauf, aber dieses hier gefällt mir Richtig gut.
Der Schreibstil ist frisch und flüssig, das mag ich sehr. Man war sofort in der Geschichte drin und die Wechsel zwischen Marie und Katie waren verständlich und störten den Geschichtsfluss nicht.
"Ein Baby wird mit über dreihundert Knochen geboren, doch während des Wachstums verfestigt sich Knorpelmasse, und kleinere Knochen wachsen zusammen, bis es am Ende nur noch zweihundertsechs sind. So vieles geht verloren, während Töchter aufwachsen." S. 429
Fazit
Eine tolle Geschichte über die Beziehung zwischen Mutter und Tochter.
Bewertung
Buchlänge ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)
Schreibstil ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)
Botschaft ♥♥♥ (3/5)
Lesevergnügen ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)
March 5, 2017
My book group did this a year ago. It took me this long to finish, better late than never. How I love this sweeping saga.
Unbecoming and have eerily similar storylines: both set in England, the older woman had an illegitimate baby as a teenager, then became estranged from her family and took up acting. Did this not so respectable profession match the young woman's tarnished reputation? Or did it just suit an extrovert with no training.
Katie meets her Gran when Mary's partner dies and Social Services contacts Katie's mother as the next of kin. Caroline wants nothing to do with the mother she hates, but waiting lists for care mean they are stuck with Gran for now. Mary's confused by the changes, but willing to make friends with these "new" people.
Summer holidays have just begun and Katie is eagar to get away from the school bullies after she made the mistake of trying to kiss her former best friend. Befriending an unexpected grandmother and finding out all the family secrets is the perfect solution. Mary's favourite cafe haunt turns up waitress Simona, also taunted by the school bullies for liking girls. Katie might have found a new friend, perhaps even a girlfriend. Or if she can make herself enjoy kissing Jamie, a boyfriend.
The chapters alternate between Katie's romantic woes trying to figure out why kissing girls is so much better than boys; her detective work and writing Gran's Memory Book; and Mary's confusion with the present and disentangling her memories from the past.
Mary's sense of humour entertains Katie and her brother Chris but her daughter Caroline never wavers from antagonism. Every so often Gran's sadness rises up, not quite knowing what she's losing, but feeling its absence. The rift between Mary and her daughter wrenched my heart. How it happened, and why Caroline didn't know her mother for years and as a teenager grew to hate her. When the truth came out years ago, the continued misunderstandings, perpetuated still, some fifty years later as Mary's memories unravel and bit by bit the reader and Mary's family piece together the past.
The drawing out of Mary's and her sister Pat's painful secrets was a clever reveal. Similar to Gloria's arc in How Not to Disappear and yet so different.
This review is also on my blog
Unbecoming and have eerily similar storylines: both set in England, the older woman had an illegitimate baby as a teenager, then became estranged from her family and took up acting. Did this not so respectable profession match the young woman's tarnished reputation? Or did it just suit an extrovert with no training.
"Every morning I wake up with such certainty, and every afternoon it slips away."
Katie meets her Gran when Mary's partner dies and Social Services contacts Katie's mother as the next of kin. Caroline wants nothing to do with the mother she hates, but waiting lists for care mean they are stuck with Gran for now. Mary's confused by the changes, but willing to make friends with these "new" people.
"Mary had the keys to the past, some kind of strange wonderland Katie wanted to explore."
Summer holidays have just begun and Katie is eagar to get away from the school bullies after she made the mistake of trying to kiss her former best friend. Befriending an unexpected grandmother and finding out all the family secrets is the perfect solution. Mary's favourite cafe haunt turns up waitress Simona, also taunted by the school bullies for liking girls. Katie might have found a new friend, perhaps even a girlfriend. Or if she can make herself enjoy kissing Jamie, a boyfriend.
"A walk in the park would be lovely and it was the quickest way to kill the synaptic connections between her and Simona."
The chapters alternate between Katie's romantic woes trying to figure out why kissing girls is so much better than boys; her detective work and writing Gran's Memory Book; and Mary's confusion with the present and disentangling her memories from the past.
"'I do want something,' Mary agreed, smiling sadly. 'Trouble is, I keep forgetting what.'
It must be terrifying having your memories drift out of your head, yet Mary still managed to find humour in it."
Mary's sense of humour entertains Katie and her brother Chris but her daughter Caroline never wavers from antagonism. Every so often Gran's sadness rises up, not quite knowing what she's losing, but feeling its absence. The rift between Mary and her daughter wrenched my heart. How it happened, and why Caroline didn't know her mother for years and as a teenager grew to hate her. When the truth came out years ago, the continued misunderstandings, perpetuated still, some fifty years later as Mary's memories unravel and bit by bit the reader and Mary's family piece together the past.
"Every damn thought kept slipping away. And her head was full of memories that weren't in any order at all. Why, for instance, did Pat pop into her mind now?"
The drawing out of Mary's and her sister Pat's painful secrets was a clever reveal. Similar to Gloria's arc in How Not to Disappear and yet so different.
This review is also on my blog
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