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I Thought It Would Be Better Than This: Rise From Disappointment, Regain Control, and Rebuild a Life You Love
Learn how to recover from life’s disappointments and rebuild a life you love.
What happens when you look at your life and think, I thought it would be better than this? You know you can’t stay where you are, but have no idea what to do next.
When Jessica N. Turner, a mom of three, lost her 16-year-marriage after her husband came out as gay, her life shattered. With grit and determination, she picked up the pieces, chose hope and courageously rebuilt a beautiful next chapter.
During this process, Jessica discovered universal tools that can support you, no matter what you’re facing. Using thoughtful reflections and exercises, vulnerable storytelling, and practical takeaways, Jessica will help
Evaluate your disappointments, heartaches, and unmet expectations so that you can move forward in healing. Talk candidly about your feelings to forge healthier and more meaningful relationships. Practice forgiveness and empathy for yourself and others so that you live with more love and less pain. Regain control over the parts of life where you have agency instead of passively waiting for things to happen to you. Discover creative practices to cultivate daily satisfaction and contentment. Learn to love yourself and the characteristics that make you unique so that you can be more confident and content. I Thought It Would Be Better Than This is a manifesto of hope that will empower you to transform your circumstances and move forward with intention and purpose.
What happens when you look at your life and think, I thought it would be better than this? You know you can’t stay where you are, but have no idea what to do next.
When Jessica N. Turner, a mom of three, lost her 16-year-marriage after her husband came out as gay, her life shattered. With grit and determination, she picked up the pieces, chose hope and courageously rebuilt a beautiful next chapter.
During this process, Jessica discovered universal tools that can support you, no matter what you’re facing. Using thoughtful reflections and exercises, vulnerable storytelling, and practical takeaways, Jessica will help
Evaluate your disappointments, heartaches, and unmet expectations so that you can move forward in healing. Talk candidly about your feelings to forge healthier and more meaningful relationships. Practice forgiveness and empathy for yourself and others so that you live with more love and less pain. Regain control over the parts of life where you have agency instead of passively waiting for things to happen to you. Discover creative practices to cultivate daily satisfaction and contentment. Learn to love yourself and the characteristics that make you unique so that you can be more confident and content. I Thought It Would Be Better Than This is a manifesto of hope that will empower you to transform your circumstances and move forward with intention and purpose.
256 pages, Hardcover
Published April 8, 2025
179 people are currently reading
2031 people want to read
About the author
Jessica N. Turner
7 books699 followersJessica N. Turner is the creative force and blogging veteran behind The Mom Creative. The 2021 Iris Award Winner for Best Mom Blog, Jessica is a respected tastemaker for beloved brands and services that help make life easier for busy women. She is also the author of the Wall Street Journal bestselling book The Fringe Hours and Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter, and Thrive.
Additionally, Jessica is an award-winning marketing professional, with 15 years of content creation experience. She also speaks at events nationwide on work-life balance and blogging best practices.
She has been featured in numerous media outlets including The Today Show, Hallmark's Home & Family, O Magazine, People Magazine, Better Homes and Gardens, Time.com and Inc.com.
She lives with her three young children in Nashville, Tennessee.
Additionally, Jessica is an award-winning marketing professional, with 15 years of content creation experience. She also speaks at events nationwide on work-life balance and blogging best practices.
She has been featured in numerous media outlets including The Today Show, Hallmark's Home & Family, O Magazine, People Magazine, Better Homes and Gardens, Time.com and Inc.com.
She lives with her three young children in Nashville, Tennessee.
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April 16, 2025Reviewed in the on Modern Mrs Darcy:
I've been looking forward to this book from my friend Jessica Turner for a long time; it turned out to be an accidental but apt pairing with The Body Keeps the Score. In it Jessica writes about how she was unexpectedly forced to, in a sense, start her adult life over again: Jessica married young, at age 22, but sixteen years into their marriage her husband came out as gay and they ultimately decided to divorce. This book is part memoir and part self-help: Jessica both shares her story and offers encouragement to anyone dealing with major disappointment (or who just struggles with the sense that yeah, wasn't it supposed to be better than this?). When faced with this unwanted change in the structure of her life, Jessica decided that if she had to start over, she wanted to give it her all, and here she documents how she grieved, made the best imperfect choices she could, poured into relationships with family and friends, had new experiences, and ultimately built a life she's happy with and proud of.
I've been looking forward to this book from my friend Jessica Turner for a long time; it turned out to be an accidental but apt pairing with The Body Keeps the Score. In it Jessica writes about how she was unexpectedly forced to, in a sense, start her adult life over again: Jessica married young, at age 22, but sixteen years into their marriage her husband came out as gay and they ultimately decided to divorce. This book is part memoir and part self-help: Jessica both shares her story and offers encouragement to anyone dealing with major disappointment (or who just struggles with the sense that yeah, wasn't it supposed to be better than this?). When faced with this unwanted change in the structure of her life, Jessica decided that if she had to start over, she wanted to give it her all, and here she documents how she grieved, made the best imperfect choices she could, poured into relationships with family and friends, had new experiences, and ultimately built a life she's happy with and proud of.
September 22, 2024
I went to read the first chapter and then ended up reading the whole book. This is such a masterpiece - a terrific mix of memoir and self-help that is encouraging, thoughtful, and honest. Do not miss this one. Put it on your TBR list immediately.
April 12, 2025
I listened to an interview with the author on a book podcast that I really like. The interview lead me to be interested in this book, and the high goodreads and Amazon reviews convinced me to listen to it. The author’s story sounded interesting and I have a hard time finding memoirs that hold my attention. I feel bad giving this book such a low rating but honestly it’s not good at all IMO. The high ratings were misleading for me. The tone/writing is very basic and sounds almost like a high schooler’s voice. It’s kind of like someone filled out a self-help meets memoir template with forced anecdotes etc. The poor writing aside, there were three things that really irked me about this book content-wise. 1. Controversial but: The author’s extremely generous framing of her ex husband’s coming out as living his truth, bringing him back because of his authenticity and happiness, etc. I understand she is being gracious but I felt like this man was painted as an absolute angel and poor victim when the reality is he blew up an entire family. Better late than never and I’m glad he was honest with her and himself but honestly she paints it with a bit of a rosy brush considering the trauma he put her and their children through. 2. The author seems to place alot of her self worth in the hands of men and how they view her. A lot of the “lessons” she learned about herself were just her being glad that men were into her and that making her confident. E.g. a man would find her attractive despite her weight etc, and suddenly she would believe she was good enough etc. it happened a few times and I just felt like a lot of her self worth came from male validation. And finally 3. A lot of the advice comes off kind of out-of-touch for the average person. Taking extravagant vacations, hiring nutritionists, fancy workout classes or trainers, ordering food out instead of cooking, going to retreats that are days or weeks long where can stop working, leave her kids somewhere, and not have a phone, taking pottery and embroidery classes, going out of town often and at the drop of a hat, hosting a lot of parties that involve a lot of resources etc. no hate to her but I don’t think the average person reading this would be able to do much of that at all. Overall very dull in tone and annoying in content, I was hoping for more raw content not everything tied up in a pretty bow. It fell more than flat for me.
April 6, 2025
Review: I Thought It Would Be Better Than This by Jessica N. Turner
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book will stay with me for a long time. I had the incredible honor of reading early drafts as part of a focus group last year, and I’ve been thinking about the rest of the story ever since.
Jessica Turner has written a powerful blend of memoir and self-help that speaks directly to anyone who’s ever looked around at their life and whispered, “I thought it would be better than this.” With vulnerability, honesty, and grace, she shares her journey through heartbreak, disappointment, and rebuilding after the end of her 16-year marriage—while offering real tools for readers to process their own pain and start again.
This book isn’t just about divorce. It speaks to grief, identity loss, burnout, unmet expectations, and the quiet ache of feeling stuck in a life you never planned for. And yet, it never feels heavy or hopeless. It feels empowering. Uplifting. Honest in a way that feels like sitting with a wise friend who’s walked through the fire and wants to help you find your way forward.
I also listened to the audiobook—narrated by Jessica herself—and it was perfection. Her voice is filled with warmth and wisdom, and it adds a deeply personal touch to an already impactful read.
Whether you’re in the middle of a hard season or just searching for clarity and hope, this book offers both. It’s one I’ll be recommending over and over again.
Follow me on Instagram @jammers_bookstacks for more honest, heartfelt reviews and book recs you can trust. I’d love to help you find your next favorite read!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book will stay with me for a long time. I had the incredible honor of reading early drafts as part of a focus group last year, and I’ve been thinking about the rest of the story ever since.
Jessica Turner has written a powerful blend of memoir and self-help that speaks directly to anyone who’s ever looked around at their life and whispered, “I thought it would be better than this.” With vulnerability, honesty, and grace, she shares her journey through heartbreak, disappointment, and rebuilding after the end of her 16-year marriage—while offering real tools for readers to process their own pain and start again.
This book isn’t just about divorce. It speaks to grief, identity loss, burnout, unmet expectations, and the quiet ache of feeling stuck in a life you never planned for. And yet, it never feels heavy or hopeless. It feels empowering. Uplifting. Honest in a way that feels like sitting with a wise friend who’s walked through the fire and wants to help you find your way forward.
I also listened to the audiobook—narrated by Jessica herself—and it was perfection. Her voice is filled with warmth and wisdom, and it adds a deeply personal touch to an already impactful read.
Whether you’re in the middle of a hard season or just searching for clarity and hope, this book offers both. It’s one I’ll be recommending over and over again.
Follow me on Instagram @jammers_bookstacks for more honest, heartfelt reviews and book recs you can trust. I’d love to help you find your next favorite read!
April 12, 2025
4.5 stars for this new release that’s part memoir and part self-help. I listened to the audio version and loved hearing the author narrate it herself.
I’ve followed Jessica for years and read her previous book, The Fringe Hours. This new release shares about her marriage ending when her husband Matthew came out to her almost five years ago. But it’s about so much more than that - it’s about life’s disappointment and making it through hard seasons. Well, not just making it through but learning and growing from it.
In general, I’m not a big fan of preachy “self help” books but this one is so good at authentically naming the grief & loss process, providing some actionable next steps and providing hope that you will make it to the other side including therapy which I am a huge fan of!
She is a practicing Christian but her faith isn’t the front & center part of this story so I think this book is relatable regardless of your background. In fact, some of the grief & loss she experienced was from her faith community responding to her marriage ending & why.
To be human is to experience disappointment and loss - if you’re in a season where a book on that would be helpful, definitely pick this up.
I’ve followed Jessica for years and read her previous book, The Fringe Hours. This new release shares about her marriage ending when her husband Matthew came out to her almost five years ago. But it’s about so much more than that - it’s about life’s disappointment and making it through hard seasons. Well, not just making it through but learning and growing from it.
In general, I’m not a big fan of preachy “self help” books but this one is so good at authentically naming the grief & loss process, providing some actionable next steps and providing hope that you will make it to the other side including therapy which I am a huge fan of!
She is a practicing Christian but her faith isn’t the front & center part of this story so I think this book is relatable regardless of your background. In fact, some of the grief & loss she experienced was from her faith community responding to her marriage ending & why.
To be human is to experience disappointment and loss - if you’re in a season where a book on that would be helpful, definitely pick this up.
March 15, 2025
I was privileged to be able to read the first few chapters months ago and once I received a copy as part of the launch team, I literally devoured it. This is very appropriate for me to read this with my own situation being over a decade ago but it is finally feeling like spring is coming for me. I appreciated the vulnerability with which Jessica shared. This will help so many people no doubt! Things I had to learn on my own over a decade ago are detailed so lovingly here.
April 20, 2025
In this part-memoir, part self-help book, Jessica N. Turner shares her journey of navigating and rising from profound disappointment—specifically, her husband coming out as gay and the end of their 16-year marriage. Through her story, she offers readers practical tools for accepting change and moving forward.
I fully agree with everything Jessica said in this book. All of the ideas she has and steps she suggests for self-reflection and dealing with change and disappointments is absolutely correct. I just happen to already know and have taken most of these steps!
There’s one exercise Jessica mentions early on which is a journal prompt to use the sentence stem “This Happened To Me, And…” - I filled a whole page in my journal with this prompt. I also found her other journal activities helpful.
This book can be helpful for anyone facing a major disappointment—whether in relationships, career, or life transitions. While there’s value for readers at any stage of processing, I think it would be especially impactful for someone in the early days of a fresh loss or change.
I fully agree with everything Jessica said in this book. All of the ideas she has and steps she suggests for self-reflection and dealing with change and disappointments is absolutely correct. I just happen to already know and have taken most of these steps!
There’s one exercise Jessica mentions early on which is a journal prompt to use the sentence stem “This Happened To Me, And…” - I filled a whole page in my journal with this prompt. I also found her other journal activities helpful.
This book can be helpful for anyone facing a major disappointment—whether in relationships, career, or life transitions. While there’s value for readers at any stage of processing, I think it would be especially impactful for someone in the early days of a fresh loss or change.
April 13, 2025
I started journaling about some things in my own life as I read this book. The beginning of this book was especially good. I felt like some of the advice, especially about grief, was a little too drawn out, but I liked the combo style of part memoir and part self-help. While the author does share a little about her spiritual life, I can't imagine navigating deep disappointments without Jesus, therefore I wanted more about that foundation of life. I appreciated the book's vulnerability and practicality.
May 23, 2025
While I don't want to take anything away from Jessica's excruciating experience, on the whole I found this book to be overly simplistic and full of catch-phrases and sermon-like lectures and "activities". It honestly felt like she was trying to be the next Glennon Doyle or Rachel Hollis, both of whom were exciting to me for a time but then started to get on my last nerve with their "brutal honesty" and harping on how hard life is all the time. Ugh. I believe Jessica is a good person and I think she meant to do good with this book, but it feels like all the phony Christian drivel I grew up on. I just didn't love it as a self-help book.
May 30, 2025
This is so hilariously bad I had to DNF, for perhaps the first time ever - annoyed that it’s going to fuck up my 2025 stats.
This ‘author’ has apparently taken some kind of TikTok course on dramatic audiobook reading because it genuinely sounds like she’s on the edge of climax the whole time. I think it was the recommendation that in order to recover from trauma, one must pray, followed by the words ‘crying out to god with my sorrow’ that finally did it for me, though.
Personal reflection is telling me that perhaps I should stop looking for answers on how to fix my shit stain of a life in self-help books written by self absorbed American women who found narcissistic fame via social media. Probably should just rely on the actual skills I’ve learned in actual therapy with an actual clinical psychologist.
This ‘author’ has apparently taken some kind of TikTok course on dramatic audiobook reading because it genuinely sounds like she’s on the edge of climax the whole time. I think it was the recommendation that in order to recover from trauma, one must pray, followed by the words ‘crying out to god with my sorrow’ that finally did it for me, though.
Personal reflection is telling me that perhaps I should stop looking for answers on how to fix my shit stain of a life in self-help books written by self absorbed American women who found narcissistic fame via social media. Probably should just rely on the actual skills I’ve learned in actual therapy with an actual clinical psychologist.
May 11, 2025
This is part memoir, part self-help. I really like Jessica, and enjoy her Instagram account. She has an interesting story, and a compelling perspective. I think my big takeaway was just how incredibly gracious Jessica is. She really seems to live her religion.
I had a personal realization while reading the book that was very impactful for me, so I’m grateful for that. All that said, Jessica has access to resources that most of us don’t have, which made some of the book a little hard to swallow. But I’m glad I read the book, and if there were more Jessica’s in the world, we would be living in a better place.
I had a personal realization while reading the book that was very impactful for me, so I’m grateful for that. All that said, Jessica has access to resources that most of us don’t have, which made some of the book a little hard to swallow. But I’m glad I read the book, and if there were more Jessica’s in the world, we would be living in a better place.
June 1, 2025
I really liked a lot of this book and felt like it was such a great balance of memoir and well rounded self-help. It made me think a lot about my own life disappointments and how I can more effectively rebuild and overcome. It also made me think a lot about what I take for granted being in a committed relationship and how important it is to invest in your close relationships. This would make a great book club book, I think it would lead to meaningful discussion.
April 16, 2025
Jessica is so down to earth and authentic. Her wise words can be applied to a variety of situations. This is the book I wish had existed during my hardest days. Luckily, I have it now! This book will provide practical tips for navigating disappointment. Jessica’s story will make you feel seen and less alone.
May 24, 2025
This book helped me so much! I have been divorced for nine years after a 40 year marriage. Because of the chapter on forgiveness in this book I was finally able to say “I forgive you” out loud knowing I will never hear “I’m sorry” or anything else, for that matter, from my former spouse. It has been freeing in a way I wasn’t expecting. Her chapters on rebuilding have also been so helpful!
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May 30, 2025I had higher hopes for this book. The author’s story is weaved throughout and I agree with those saying it seemed part memoir, part self-help. There were some questions in the beginning that I did find helpful, but overall the “self-help” portions of the book I did not enjoy. Some of her encouragements and lessons didn’t sit well with me. Overall I would not recommend.
April 17, 2025
I've followed her since 2021-ish. This was a good book.
June 30, 2025
Super cliche. And the author constantly quoted other people. So if you want to read the ideas from this book, go read the books she quoted instead.
April 25, 2025
Not groundbreaking but validating with solid common sense advice.
May 6, 2025
I'm a big fan of Matthew Paul Turner but didn't know anything about his ex-wife. While I don't deny the trauma of finding out that your husband is gay and getting divorced etc, I thought that most of Jessica's advice depended on having money and a lot of friends. Famous friends are even better. Maybe I was just in the wrong frame of mind this week to read a book like this but it didn't touch me emotionally. It bored me.
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April 22, 2025Yeah....I tried to give this one a shot, and as it's a memoir (ish???) I will hold to my rule to not review it b/c memoirs are personal and this isn't about a person or their story.
The writing is pretty elementary and full of evangeli-speak (IYKYK) and really, I've struggled really hard with seeing women uphold patriarchy by needing men to validate them or really just painting their own story on the backdrop of men's opinions. Women (and Jessica) are so much more interesting than that.
My other critique is really self-help/how to books written by white ladies who have difficulties who provide Pollyanna-esque guidebooks. There's a lot of hellacious stuff going on for marginalized people and there's not enough "get enough sleep" or "Journal about it" or "chin up buttercup" or, "just get some perspective" about it is really going to do a whole lot to help. Maybe I'm too jaded. Maybe this book wasn't for me.
I hope it helps someone, I truly do.
The writing is pretty elementary and full of evangeli-speak (IYKYK) and really, I've struggled really hard with seeing women uphold patriarchy by needing men to validate them or really just painting their own story on the backdrop of men's opinions. Women (and Jessica) are so much more interesting than that.
My other critique is really self-help/how to books written by white ladies who have difficulties who provide Pollyanna-esque guidebooks. There's a lot of hellacious stuff going on for marginalized people and there's not enough "get enough sleep" or "Journal about it" or "chin up buttercup" or, "just get some perspective" about it is really going to do a whole lot to help. Maybe I'm too jaded. Maybe this book wasn't for me.
I hope it helps someone, I truly do.
June 17, 2025
I’ve been following Jessica and Matthew’s journey since before their first child was born. They’ve always been great examples of real life lived faith in my view. This only drove home more with Matthew’s coming out.. and the subsequent journey they’ve taken since.
I’m given it a 2.5, as it much more so was a self help book, than a memoir. The pre-order sample was as deep as it went, in my opinion. I was hoping for more meat of her story, than what was written.
** I’m editing to add that my rating and review are based on my own thoughts that it didn’t read as the memor I thought I would be reading. It was well written and what was shared was poignant, and you can feel the emotion as though you are there. Much love to the Turners for sharing the journey they are on.***
I’m given it a 2.5, as it much more so was a self help book, than a memoir. The pre-order sample was as deep as it went, in my opinion. I was hoping for more meat of her story, than what was written.
** I’m editing to add that my rating and review are based on my own thoughts that it didn’t read as the memor I thought I would be reading. It was well written and what was shared was poignant, and you can feel the emotion as though you are there. Much love to the Turners for sharing the journey they are on.***
June 28, 2025
I saved the rant for the end.
I have always liked Jessica in theory but I don’t love how chipper and gracious everything is, so I have never been one of her close followers. This book is more of the same from her… 75% very cool and 25% “seriously?”
I’ve been through a devastating situation similar to, but way worse than, hers. My ex pulled a lot of the same tricks as Jessica’s ex, with the added bonus of a prison sentence and permanent eviction from our lives. Coming through that crisis on my own with 4 very young kids, I was eager to read this book.
Now I’ve read it, and there are a few things I would suggest readers be aware of before reading the book:
- The author benefits from a significant support system and is well resourced. She has a capable and amicable coparent nearby. She has numerous friends in her neighborhood, her city, and online who show up for her well. She appears to have some disposable income for things like takeout and travel and multi-day therapeutic intensives and nutritional coaching. I confess to having several “wow, must be nice” moments with the book. I still really like her, but I found some of her “charming anecdotes” to be not so relatable.
- This book gives you homework and some of it is not appropriate if you are still bleeding out. Jessica doesn’t seem to want to do anything unless there’s a goal or evaluation attached. If you’re still in the descent and desperate and suffering, please be aware this book includes things like report cards and task lists. Still read it because there’s a lot of hope, but skip the exercises if you aren’t at least stabilized if not on the upward trajectory yet.
- Having this kind of life-altering devastation referred to in the book as “a disappointment” was something I had to consciously choose to move past.
- Matthew is due a reckoning, and she does not seem interested in bringing it. I get the sense that she thinks him coming out was sOoOoOo hard for him that she shouldn’t make it worse by being pissed. Girl, no. I’m sure coming out was hard for him, but also he. is. a. COWARD. He picked you bright-eyed and innocent when you wouldn’t know any better, lied to you for years, trickle-truthed you for more years, demolished your self worth the whole time, fffiiinnnaaallllllllyyyy came out to you ON A SCHOOL MORNING knowing YOU were taking the kids in, doesn’t even have the guts to ask for a divorce and makes YOU do it, and when you’re falling apart wondering how you will survive the devastation, he hugs you and says “I know”? Seriously?? Are we SERIOUSLY supposed to just roll with “Matthew is a wonderful person and friend”?? I was, am, and will continue to be INFURIATED with him on her behalf and a large part of me wants to take Jessica by the shoulders and yell “LOOK WHAT HE DID TO YOU! THAT IS NOT LOVE!!”
Ok I’m better now. All in all, I will recommend this book but with these caveats.
I have always liked Jessica in theory but I don’t love how chipper and gracious everything is, so I have never been one of her close followers. This book is more of the same from her… 75% very cool and 25% “seriously?”
I’ve been through a devastating situation similar to, but way worse than, hers. My ex pulled a lot of the same tricks as Jessica’s ex, with the added bonus of a prison sentence and permanent eviction from our lives. Coming through that crisis on my own with 4 very young kids, I was eager to read this book.
Now I’ve read it, and there are a few things I would suggest readers be aware of before reading the book:
- The author benefits from a significant support system and is well resourced. She has a capable and amicable coparent nearby. She has numerous friends in her neighborhood, her city, and online who show up for her well. She appears to have some disposable income for things like takeout and travel and multi-day therapeutic intensives and nutritional coaching. I confess to having several “wow, must be nice” moments with the book. I still really like her, but I found some of her “charming anecdotes” to be not so relatable.
- This book gives you homework and some of it is not appropriate if you are still bleeding out. Jessica doesn’t seem to want to do anything unless there’s a goal or evaluation attached. If you’re still in the descent and desperate and suffering, please be aware this book includes things like report cards and task lists. Still read it because there’s a lot of hope, but skip the exercises if you aren’t at least stabilized if not on the upward trajectory yet.
- Having this kind of life-altering devastation referred to in the book as “a disappointment” was something I had to consciously choose to move past.
- Matthew is due a reckoning, and she does not seem interested in bringing it. I get the sense that she thinks him coming out was sOoOoOo hard for him that she shouldn’t make it worse by being pissed. Girl, no. I’m sure coming out was hard for him, but also he. is. a. COWARD. He picked you bright-eyed and innocent when you wouldn’t know any better, lied to you for years, trickle-truthed you for more years, demolished your self worth the whole time, fffiiinnnaaallllllllyyyy came out to you ON A SCHOOL MORNING knowing YOU were taking the kids in, doesn’t even have the guts to ask for a divorce and makes YOU do it, and when you’re falling apart wondering how you will survive the devastation, he hugs you and says “I know”? Seriously?? Are we SERIOUSLY supposed to just roll with “Matthew is a wonderful person and friend”?? I was, am, and will continue to be INFURIATED with him on her behalf and a large part of me wants to take Jessica by the shoulders and yell “LOOK WHAT HE DID TO YOU! THAT IS NOT LOVE!!”
Ok I’m better now. All in all, I will recommend this book but with these caveats.
February 12, 2025
I thought it would be better than this.
The title immediately attracted me to this book, as I’m sure most people have related to this phrase at one point or another. Jessica Turner begins with her own personal experience that caused her stop and say aloud “I thought it would be better than this.” While everyone’s “I thought would be better than this” moment no doubt differs, the sentiment remains the same, and Turner’s experiences remind us that it is okay to experience disappointment over the life you expected to live. Some of the most important takeaways from this book are, It is okay to feel how you feel, but you have to acknowledge it. Put words to your feelings, talk about how you’re feeling, consider what is making you feel like this. It might feel impossible to imagine moving forward in times of despair, but allow the smoke to settle, and allow yourself to make a plan to move forward. Part of Turner’s plan to move forward and heal involves forgiveness and how holding resentment only causes harm to yourself. I had to pick and choose which parts of this I resonated with, as I am not ready or willing to forgive the person in life that comes to my mind, however, she provides great information on how to stop blaming, and forgive YOURSELF as well. This part struck a nerve because so often I find that I insult myself for tolerating what I have in the past, and saying I was suffering from“dumb bitchitis”. I’m sure self deprecating jokes are a way many of us cope with trauma, however they’re ultimately not helpful and you have to forgive yourself to move forward. This book is loaded with analogies that at times can seem excessive, and there are *a lot* of mentions about the author’s husband coming out, which I understand is the reason the story came to be, but at times it distracts the reader from the actual point of the story. This book is equal parts memoir, and equal parts self help. It truly covers so many different topics and while the target audience is women in their 30s+, so much of this advice is ESSENTIAL for younger women. There are a few religious references throughout, but not in excess, and the chapter on religion is skip-able. Overall, “I thought it would be better than this” was a very inspiring read, and something that would have been life changing to me had I found it around the time of my divorce. I would recommend this to any and every woman.
Thank you so much Net Galley for the ARC of this book, I look forward to publication day!
The title immediately attracted me to this book, as I’m sure most people have related to this phrase at one point or another. Jessica Turner begins with her own personal experience that caused her stop and say aloud “I thought it would be better than this.” While everyone’s “I thought would be better than this” moment no doubt differs, the sentiment remains the same, and Turner’s experiences remind us that it is okay to experience disappointment over the life you expected to live. Some of the most important takeaways from this book are, It is okay to feel how you feel, but you have to acknowledge it. Put words to your feelings, talk about how you’re feeling, consider what is making you feel like this. It might feel impossible to imagine moving forward in times of despair, but allow the smoke to settle, and allow yourself to make a plan to move forward. Part of Turner’s plan to move forward and heal involves forgiveness and how holding resentment only causes harm to yourself. I had to pick and choose which parts of this I resonated with, as I am not ready or willing to forgive the person in life that comes to my mind, however, she provides great information on how to stop blaming, and forgive YOURSELF as well. This part struck a nerve because so often I find that I insult myself for tolerating what I have in the past, and saying I was suffering from“dumb bitchitis”. I’m sure self deprecating jokes are a way many of us cope with trauma, however they’re ultimately not helpful and you have to forgive yourself to move forward. This book is loaded with analogies that at times can seem excessive, and there are *a lot* of mentions about the author’s husband coming out, which I understand is the reason the story came to be, but at times it distracts the reader from the actual point of the story. This book is equal parts memoir, and equal parts self help. It truly covers so many different topics and while the target audience is women in their 30s+, so much of this advice is ESSENTIAL for younger women. There are a few religious references throughout, but not in excess, and the chapter on religion is skip-able. Overall, “I thought it would be better than this” was a very inspiring read, and something that would have been life changing to me had I found it around the time of my divorce. I would recommend this to any and every woman.
Thank you so much Net Galley for the ARC of this book, I look forward to publication day!
April 29, 2025
Thank you to Worthy Publish, the author, Jessica N. Turner, and Netgalley. I received this book as an Advanced Reader Copy in exchange for my honest review.
“I Thought It Would Be Better Than This” caught my attention simply because of its title. I have been feeling this way about my own life for about 3 years now. Battling chronic illness, multiple losses, family struggles, and more, life has just been so incredibly hard.
So, while the author, Jessica Turner, faces issues very different from me, there were some gems I could pull away and write in my journal to hold on to.
Some of those gems were:
The concept of “messy hope.”
This beautiful quote: “Telling the truth is your path toward freedom and new beginnings. The judgement we feared did happen, but it was not bigger than the freedom that we found in stepping out in truth.”
And this beautiful blessing/prayer she wrote for the hard days, “God, everything feels hard right now. Bless my heart, which feels fragile and tender. Bless my home, which is full of chaos and mess, but also love for my kids and myself. Bless my body, which feels weary and stressed. May I know that you are with me, even when I feel alone and sad. Will you show me a glimmer of your presence? I am tired of hoping. I am desperate for something new and better. Bless me where I am today and give me the energy to keep going. I know that better days are ahead, but today is not a better day. Today is a hard day. Be with me in it.”
And, finally the acknowledgement that “hope can be exhausting.”
While, yes, there were these beautiful words to pull from and ponder, the book itself, unfortunately, felt like any other book I had read on grief or disappointment. That was a shame, because Jessica has such a unique story. I know that we all truly do need the same things to heal, but maybe it didn’t need to be a “how to fix yourself book.” But rather, here’s what I noticed in the book. Because the parts where she was noticing the soul, the feelings---they were SO GOOD. I just wish the “to-do’s” were not like every other self-help book I have read.
But Jessica's words and heart are truly beautiful, and I’m grateful I had a chance to read the book and see a glimpse into her kind and recovering soul.
3.5 Stars (I will round up to 4 because I love the title, there were plenty of pull out quotes to mull over, and even if the concept was somewhat overdone, the book was still a good read.)
“I Thought It Would Be Better Than This” caught my attention simply because of its title. I have been feeling this way about my own life for about 3 years now. Battling chronic illness, multiple losses, family struggles, and more, life has just been so incredibly hard.
So, while the author, Jessica Turner, faces issues very different from me, there were some gems I could pull away and write in my journal to hold on to.
Some of those gems were:
The concept of “messy hope.”
This beautiful quote: “Telling the truth is your path toward freedom and new beginnings. The judgement we feared did happen, but it was not bigger than the freedom that we found in stepping out in truth.”
And this beautiful blessing/prayer she wrote for the hard days, “God, everything feels hard right now. Bless my heart, which feels fragile and tender. Bless my home, which is full of chaos and mess, but also love for my kids and myself. Bless my body, which feels weary and stressed. May I know that you are with me, even when I feel alone and sad. Will you show me a glimmer of your presence? I am tired of hoping. I am desperate for something new and better. Bless me where I am today and give me the energy to keep going. I know that better days are ahead, but today is not a better day. Today is a hard day. Be with me in it.”
And, finally the acknowledgement that “hope can be exhausting.”
While, yes, there were these beautiful words to pull from and ponder, the book itself, unfortunately, felt like any other book I had read on grief or disappointment. That was a shame, because Jessica has such a unique story. I know that we all truly do need the same things to heal, but maybe it didn’t need to be a “how to fix yourself book.” But rather, here’s what I noticed in the book. Because the parts where she was noticing the soul, the feelings---they were SO GOOD. I just wish the “to-do’s” were not like every other self-help book I have read.
But Jessica's words and heart are truly beautiful, and I’m grateful I had a chance to read the book and see a glimpse into her kind and recovering soul.
3.5 Stars (I will round up to 4 because I love the title, there were plenty of pull out quotes to mull over, and even if the concept was somewhat overdone, the book was still a good read.)
April 3, 2025
I Thought It Would Be Better Than This by Jessica N. Turner is the self-help and personal development book that I did not even know I needed, but I am so glad to have had read!
In this book, Turner discusses the extreme disappointment, sadness, and grief that she felt when, ensconced in a lengthy and loving marriage, her husband came out as gay. Turner reflects on how she thought her marriage, her life, would be better than "this," what she had to face, knowing that the future was uncertain, as she and her husband discussed, and ultimately agreed upon, divorce. Turner then had to completely rebuild her life, turning it into one she would be happy with in the future. Turner points to concrete steps that she took to rise from the depths of the shock and sadness of her situation to the rebuilding of the life she now loves.
I know so many people, myself included, who have a "this" -- a marriage that did not end up being all sunshine and roses; a difficult parenting journey, which was unexpected; a dream job that took an unexpectedly hard left turn; etc. This book is both comforting, in that it offers plenty of "me, too" moments, and empowering, in that it offers such great advice for regaining control and turning one's life into something even better than your former "this." I, especially, loved Turner's suggestions on journaling, forgiveness -- both of yourself and others, and finding community. And, before you think you've heard all of these tips and tricks before, I assure you, you have not heard it told in a voice as gentle and compassionate as Turner's or with a background story as compelling as Turner's.
This book is for anyone who feels alone on life's path, for anyone who thinks the journey should of, could of, been better than "this." In short, this is a great book, which reimagines life's disappointments as opportunities for something even better. I highly recommend it.
In this book, Turner discusses the extreme disappointment, sadness, and grief that she felt when, ensconced in a lengthy and loving marriage, her husband came out as gay. Turner reflects on how she thought her marriage, her life, would be better than "this," what she had to face, knowing that the future was uncertain, as she and her husband discussed, and ultimately agreed upon, divorce. Turner then had to completely rebuild her life, turning it into one she would be happy with in the future. Turner points to concrete steps that she took to rise from the depths of the shock and sadness of her situation to the rebuilding of the life she now loves.
I know so many people, myself included, who have a "this" -- a marriage that did not end up being all sunshine and roses; a difficult parenting journey, which was unexpected; a dream job that took an unexpectedly hard left turn; etc. This book is both comforting, in that it offers plenty of "me, too" moments, and empowering, in that it offers such great advice for regaining control and turning one's life into something even better than your former "this." I, especially, loved Turner's suggestions on journaling, forgiveness -- both of yourself and others, and finding community. And, before you think you've heard all of these tips and tricks before, I assure you, you have not heard it told in a voice as gentle and compassionate as Turner's or with a background story as compelling as Turner's.
This book is for anyone who feels alone on life's path, for anyone who thinks the journey should of, could of, been better than "this." In short, this is a great book, which reimagines life's disappointments as opportunities for something even better. I highly recommend it.
April 7, 2025
This is not the typical book I share here, however, it is part of my reading journey this year and maybe it’s something that fits where you are today too.
I Thought It Would Be Better Than This | Jessica N. Turner
“You matter. Your story matters. Your passions and dreams matter. And if you have learned anything in this book, I hope it is that you bring value to the world and that it is never too late to start again, start over, or simply start. You might have thought that life would be better than this, and guess what? It still can be.”
This book feels like a little memoir, but more about practical and real advice for moving your life forward in the face of disappointment. This is a great book to share with someone who might be going through a difficult season. I’ve been through difficult seasons in the past and come out on the other side. But I’ve also thought recently about how my life hasn’t gone as I assumed it would. I never had any solid plans for how I wanted my life to look, but at the same time I’m not disappointed with where I am.
The one personal thing that still stands out for me that I need to move forward with is what does the rest of my work career look like? I left education over 2 years ago after over 20 years of experience. I hit a day where I admitted out loud that I hated going to school every day and I needed to get out. I was able to get a job adjacent to my field, and while it was the next place I needed to be (slower and less frustrating), and was needed in this season of life (recovering from burnout and a dog with medical issues), I want more. But what does more look like? I plan to use what Jessica has shared to think about that “next and more”.
Thank you @jessicanturner for the eARC. I voluntarily read an early copy of this book.
I Thought It Would Be Better Than This | Jessica N. Turner
“You matter. Your story matters. Your passions and dreams matter. And if you have learned anything in this book, I hope it is that you bring value to the world and that it is never too late to start again, start over, or simply start. You might have thought that life would be better than this, and guess what? It still can be.”
This book feels like a little memoir, but more about practical and real advice for moving your life forward in the face of disappointment. This is a great book to share with someone who might be going through a difficult season. I’ve been through difficult seasons in the past and come out on the other side. But I’ve also thought recently about how my life hasn’t gone as I assumed it would. I never had any solid plans for how I wanted my life to look, but at the same time I’m not disappointed with where I am.
The one personal thing that still stands out for me that I need to move forward with is what does the rest of my work career look like? I left education over 2 years ago after over 20 years of experience. I hit a day where I admitted out loud that I hated going to school every day and I needed to get out. I was able to get a job adjacent to my field, and while it was the next place I needed to be (slower and less frustrating), and was needed in this season of life (recovering from burnout and a dog with medical issues), I want more. But what does more look like? I plan to use what Jessica has shared to think about that “next and more”.
Thank you @jessicanturner for the eARC. I voluntarily read an early copy of this book.
April 28, 2025
Well, this book could not have been any more timely. I saw that Jessica Turner was being interviewed on Jen Hatmaker’s podcast and thought, “Lemme see what this old friend is up to…”
I followed Jessica once upon a time when she was starting out, side hustling solid mom content while also working a full time corporate job. I always found her fringe hours methodology helpful and really appreciated how she preached about the difficulty (and necessity) of being a whole person while being a full time working mom. Over time, I kept up peripherally with her life and heard about her divorce and the complex circumstances (her husband and incredible children’s book author, Matthew Paul Turner, came out as gay). My heart broke with her and yet it was amazing to also see her so publicly supportive of him.
Fast forward several years, here I find myself in similar circumstances for very different reasons. But my reality has been no less jarring and dissonant. I picked up this book and it feels me. I understand where Jessica stood because I am now standing there. I am living in our house that is soon to be my house. I am providing for our child on my own. I am getting to know myself for the first time in my adult life. And y’all, I like her.
To hear from someone who is several steps ahead of me that it is indeed good on the other side, it was such an encouragement to read that though grief never full leaves, grief itself is not the story. New life, resurrection, and hope are. What a timely Eastertide message for this newly single momma. Thank you, Jessica, for your vulnerability and resources. I am grateful.
I followed Jessica once upon a time when she was starting out, side hustling solid mom content while also working a full time corporate job. I always found her fringe hours methodology helpful and really appreciated how she preached about the difficulty (and necessity) of being a whole person while being a full time working mom. Over time, I kept up peripherally with her life and heard about her divorce and the complex circumstances (her husband and incredible children’s book author, Matthew Paul Turner, came out as gay). My heart broke with her and yet it was amazing to also see her so publicly supportive of him.
Fast forward several years, here I find myself in similar circumstances for very different reasons. But my reality has been no less jarring and dissonant. I picked up this book and it feels me. I understand where Jessica stood because I am now standing there. I am living in our house that is soon to be my house. I am providing for our child on my own. I am getting to know myself for the first time in my adult life. And y’all, I like her.
To hear from someone who is several steps ahead of me that it is indeed good on the other side, it was such an encouragement to read that though grief never full leaves, grief itself is not the story. New life, resurrection, and hope are. What a timely Eastertide message for this newly single momma. Thank you, Jessica, for your vulnerability and resources. I am grateful.
January 25, 2025
Having followed Jessica Turner on Instagram for many years, I've been excited about this book for a while now! "I Thought It Would Be Better Than This: Rise From Disappointment, Regain Control, and Rebuild a Life You Love" tells the story of Turner's dissolution of her marriage after her husband confessed that he's gay. Turner, in her usual transparent and encouraging voice, encourages her readers to travel through their disappointments and say, "this happened to me, and . . ." rather than just saying, "this happened to me." We all have moments in our lives where we are absolutely stunned and don't know what to do, and Turner asserts that we should make the best imperfect choice available to us right now. She quotes fellow author Jeanne Stevens when she says, "Worry is simply living in a not yet that is worse than your now."
When going through difficult times, Turner implores her readers not to hide from the grief we're going through. She asserts that we believe the following lies about grief: it has an end point, it's too much for others, and it should be hidden. She further gives her readers several strategies to use when navigating grief. I really appreciate how approachable and loving Turner is in her writing, and think so many people will be blessed and encouraged by this book. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.
When going through difficult times, Turner implores her readers not to hide from the grief we're going through. She asserts that we believe the following lies about grief: it has an end point, it's too much for others, and it should be hidden. She further gives her readers several strategies to use when navigating grief. I really appreciate how approachable and loving Turner is in her writing, and think so many people will be blessed and encouraged by this book. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.
March 13, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I Thought It Would Be Better Than This
Author: Jessica N. Turner
Source: NetGalley
Publication Date: April 8, 2025
What would you do if your beloved husband of 16 years and father to your three children admitted he was gay? The author lays out a well-developed plan charting a new life plan and moving forward into a new life. Her story is not unusual, and I was interested in hearing how she dealt with a difficult situation for a much-loved husband. I believe he did the right thing in coming out because it allowed the author to chart a new life for her family while acknowledging the grieving process. This book, though, would be helpful to anyone dealing with an uncertain future and life changes. I would think that all of us, be it death, divorce, loss of job, etc., will face a rough spot in our future. It’s helpful to have someone who has met a challenge and come out on the other side. A quick read that includes detailed notes and a reading group guide.
#Ithoughtitwouldbebetterthanthis @jessicanturner #netgalley @netgalley @hachettebooks #divorce #loss #grief #growth #newfuture #memoir #nonfiction #self-help #book #books #bookstagram #bookreviewer
I received a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own. Thank you to the publisher, and the author for the opportunity to read this novel.
I Thought It Would Be Better Than This
Author: Jessica N. Turner
Source: NetGalley
Publication Date: April 8, 2025
What would you do if your beloved husband of 16 years and father to your three children admitted he was gay? The author lays out a well-developed plan charting a new life plan and moving forward into a new life. Her story is not unusual, and I was interested in hearing how she dealt with a difficult situation for a much-loved husband. I believe he did the right thing in coming out because it allowed the author to chart a new life for her family while acknowledging the grieving process. This book, though, would be helpful to anyone dealing with an uncertain future and life changes. I would think that all of us, be it death, divorce, loss of job, etc., will face a rough spot in our future. It’s helpful to have someone who has met a challenge and come out on the other side. A quick read that includes detailed notes and a reading group guide.
#Ithoughtitwouldbebetterthanthis @jessicanturner #netgalley @netgalley @hachettebooks #divorce #loss #grief #growth #newfuture #memoir #nonfiction #self-help #book #books #bookstagram #bookreviewer
I received a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own. Thank you to the publisher, and the author for the opportunity to read this novel.
April 2, 2025
I'm not usually a self-help book reader, but I'm so glad I decided to read this one. The mix of memoir with self-help is so great here, as Jessica clearly shows ways to apply the material to your own life and and whatever is causing you to think "I really thought it would be better than this."
Jessica provides a roadmap for taking control of your life and rising above circumstances that feel completely out of your own control. She shares personal details from her life and how she applied the principles and activities outlined in this book to overcome a life-changing event. While my life looks nothing like Jessica's, the way she shares this information made it so obvious to me that I could apply the work she's done in a similar way to the things in my own life where I'm feeling "I thought it would be better than this."
Reading it felt like having a friend not only provide encouragement but also real talk. Jessica helped me be brave enough to stop complaining and wishing things would be better and start putting in the work to identify how I can get control back and build my life towards what I want.
I have followed Jessica on Instagram for years, and this book is truly written in her voice. I can hear her voice in my head as I'm reading, and trust that these are things she absolutely used to rebuild her life.
Jessica provides a roadmap for taking control of your life and rising above circumstances that feel completely out of your own control. She shares personal details from her life and how she applied the principles and activities outlined in this book to overcome a life-changing event. While my life looks nothing like Jessica's, the way she shares this information made it so obvious to me that I could apply the work she's done in a similar way to the things in my own life where I'm feeling "I thought it would be better than this."
Reading it felt like having a friend not only provide encouragement but also real talk. Jessica helped me be brave enough to stop complaining and wishing things would be better and start putting in the work to identify how I can get control back and build my life towards what I want.
I have followed Jessica on Instagram for years, and this book is truly written in her voice. I can hear her voice in my head as I'm reading, and trust that these are things she absolutely used to rebuild her life.
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