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230 pages, Unknown Binding
First published June 3, 2014
Silence.
"Alec? Still there?"
"Did you just say weenis?"
"Um...yeah?"
"Kat, you are twenty years old and you use the word weenis."
"Sorry, Lea this is Max, Alec's roommate. Max, this is Lea, my-"Kat bit her cheek. Now Lea's narrowed eyes were aimed at her.
"Every time I have to avoid an acronym, a part of me dies inside", Kat whined.
Lea sighed."Go ahead.."
"MBF!" Kat crowed. "She is my MBF!"
No way could she tell him no one had been this patient with her since Mrs. Ross, her sixth grade teacher. No way could she tell him that with him, she felt smart and respected.
No way could she tell him that given a chance, she'd be his.
He did see Kat, all sides of her. The smart, witty side that made jokes about managing tight ends, the daydreamer side that mumbled about covered Segways, the sex-kitten side that could make drinking a smoothie look erotic, the big-hearted side that gave him his favorite candy bar every single tutoring session as a thank you, and the honest, sensitive side that was trying to find a place in the world.
‘Organization was key to her life. She could control that – her bedroom tidy and her calendar nearly filled out with color-coded highlighter. Of course, it was a stark contrast to the riot of chaos that was her mind. But fake it ‘til you make it, right?’
“You stood up to that meathead dude at the bar, but you can’t tell your boyfriend to treat you better? You told me you don’t want me to think you’re dumb, which I don’t. But why do you let Max-“
“Because it’s different with you!” she blurted out, and then immediately wished she’d kept her big mouth shut when Alec froze, his eyes bugged out of his head.
“What-“
“Nevermind,” she snapped and tried to walk around him. But Alec wasn’t satisfied with that because he flung his hand and grabbed her arm. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder, facing opposite directions, but Alec’s head was turned, his eyes boring into her temple like a pistol held to her head.
“What do you mean it’s different with me?” His voice was soft and cautious, like he was talking to a traumatized child.
No way could she tell him how she lay awake at night thinking about him beside her, a place currently being held by his best friend. No way could she tell him no one had been this patient with her since Mrs. Ross, her sixth grade teacher. No way could she tell him that with him, she felt smart and respected.
No way could she tell him that given a chance, she’d be his. Because he would leave, like all the rest of them, and she’d be in pieces.
She turned her head slowly, so now that pistol he held was aimed right between her eyes. “Because you see me like no one else does.”
‘He reached for his book bag and then whirled back to face her. “But, I need to tell you that you deserve better than him.”
She blinked. “Why do you think that? What do you even know about me?”
His face hardened and his jaw ticked. He lunged forward, hands fisted on her bed on either side of her hips, his nose touching hers. “I know you squint your eyes when you’re about to say something funny. I know you snort when you laugh, especially when you laugh at your own jokes. I know you go on crazy cute rants about your hair whispies and covered Segways. I know you’re in college because you fiercely want to be your own person and decide your own future. And I know you are, without a doubt, the hottest, most interesting girl I’ve ever met. I know you, Kat. Don’t doubt that.”
She wasn’t breathing. There was no way air entered and released from her lungs. Did her heart stop, too? Every word was like a sledgehammer to the meticulously crafted, carefree Kat Caruso veneer. She didn’t know what Alec saw, but she knew it certainly wasn’t the face she wore for everyone else.’
‘He didn’t know what his face looked like. But hers was flushed and her lips were a perfect full pout, and she was so damn beautiful, he could do nothing but give in.
There was only one way to fix this, one way to swim and breathe again.
So he dove in, unable to see the bottom to know when his feet would touch.
He cupped the back of her head with one hand while his other fisted her shirt at her lower back. But what gave him breathe again was his lips on hers. They were soft and wet and Oh God, she’d opened her mouth. Her tongue slipped between his teeth and swiped his eagerly and then he kind of lost it.’
‘Alec smiled. “You know, when I first met you, I thought you were this girl who rode the edge of a wave. One push, and you’d fall in.” He met her eyes. “All I wanted to do was keep you up on that wave. Brace you so you’d stay stable.”
She closed her eyes briefly and leaned into his touch. “I’m not on that wave anymore. I’m right here, on solid ground with you.” She leaned in and brushed her lips over his. “And that’s right where I want to be.”
He sighed into the kiss, then pulled away a fraction to whisper, “Ditto, meu coração.”