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In The House Of Me: A path from self-abandonment towards self-reclamation through a practice of embodied consent
Through the stories of her clients, research participants and personal reflections, trauma therapist and qualitative researcher, Mel Gentry Bosna, explores the why and how of self-abandonment and consent violations. " In The House Of Me is equal parts memoir and manual, and lights a path for readers to more fully discern their inner “ yes, no, and maybe ”. This path is explored against the backdrop of family dynamics, trauma and the systems that hijack consent development, namely patriarchy, religious fundamentalism and white supremacy. Despite our best intentions, many of us default into a disembodied consent, harming ourselves and others. The world of survivors is steadily unleashing a rebelliousness that does not just hope but intends greater safety. Many of us have the taste of consent on our lips and are hungry for more, this book will show you how to experience it through a practice of embodied consent.
241 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 19, 2023
6 people are currently reading
49 people want to read
About the author
Mel Gentry Bosna
1 book3 followersMelodee Gentry Bosna (she/her) has a BS in Sociology, a Master of Social Work and is licensed as a clinical social worker in Arizona where she’s been in private practice since 2011.
She’s worked professionally in the mental health field since 2007 in a variety of roles and in 2021, kicked off a qualitative research project to test her theories surrounding consent, boundaries, self-trust and the specific reasons their development is delayed.
More commonly known as ‘Mel Bosna’ by those who've met her, she’s passionate about joining others on their reclamation journey and aims to agitate the systems that compromise our safety (looking at you capitalism, white supremacy, patriarchy and ableism). She’s hell-bent on contributing to building a safer world, believing embodied consent is the bedrock for safety in relationship—with both ourselves and others.
Her love of the desert, fizzy beverages and stinky cheeses borders on problematic. Mel is an author, researcher, trauma therapist and sought after teacher—she most identifies as a human, one who has saved and reclaimed her own life. She lives in Phoenix with her family.
She’s worked professionally in the mental health field since 2007 in a variety of roles and in 2021, kicked off a qualitative research project to test her theories surrounding consent, boundaries, self-trust and the specific reasons their development is delayed.
More commonly known as ‘Mel Bosna’ by those who've met her, she’s passionate about joining others on their reclamation journey and aims to agitate the systems that compromise our safety (looking at you capitalism, white supremacy, patriarchy and ableism). She’s hell-bent on contributing to building a safer world, believing embodied consent is the bedrock for safety in relationship—with both ourselves and others.
Her love of the desert, fizzy beverages and stinky cheeses borders on problematic. Mel is an author, researcher, trauma therapist and sought after teacher—she most identifies as a human, one who has saved and reclaimed her own life. She lives in Phoenix with her family.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 14, 2023
There’s so much to say about this incredible masterpiece.
It could be a textbook.
It could be multiple therapy sessions.
It is transformative.
It is painful and beautiful.
I just purchased two more copies for a friend and for my sister.
I look forward to hearing and seeing how this book impacts our community.
It could be a textbook.
It could be multiple therapy sessions.
It is transformative.
It is painful and beautiful.
I just purchased two more copies for a friend and for my sister.
I look forward to hearing and seeing how this book impacts our community.
April 21, 2024
What I discovered reading Mel Gentry Bosna’s debut book, “In the House of Me”, completely changed the way I think about consent and how easy it is for my yes to not actually be a yes. I learned that if you don’t have access to a safe “no” — then it’s not really consent. Mel’s ‘yes, no, maybe’ framework has not only helped me better check in with myself so that my yes could actually mean yes; but also made me realize the safest people i know are those that understand consent. They ask different kinds of questions. They listen differently. They can receive your no not as a personal attack or pressure you to reconsider or oblige but rather as a gift because they understand you mean what you say and say what you mean. This is such an important read. It will stretch you, challenge your thinking and help you become a safe person to yourself and then everyone else.
July 21, 2023
In The House Of Me is the book I needed 30 years ago when I was navigating how to have a female body in a community that taught submission. It's the book I needed 20 years ago when I was navigating the differences between being aggressive and being assertive as a young adult. It's the book that I needed 10 years ago when I started parenting and, even more, co-parenting. It's the book I need today as I navigate my relationship with the Church, parent middle schoolers, and provide mental health services. Bosna writes, "Self abandonment was how I was taught to be human- it was seen as noble, necessary, always the loving thing to do". Bosna then leads readers through practical steps considering a "third way" to understand consent and boundaries. I've found myself challenging sermons, using Bosna's analogies with my own children, and practicing embodied consent as I heal.
July 1, 2025
This trauma therapist is doing things in large mobs that are not trauma informed. While I was being diagnosed with ptsd, she and her friends obviously realized I was struggling and used it against me. They knew it was right before I left my husband. I was on high doses of prednisone at the time — which they were well aware of. That can cause extreme anxiety. They targeted people like me and still do. They gained vulnerable info really manipulatively and then cancelled me while I was vulnerable and in the hospital. They only cancel other women. (She used to be Christian. You see so much of this in bad leadership.) Her book holds the same ableist beliefs about mental health and disability that she exercised against me personally.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
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